I am baaaack! Okay, so, the last few weeks have been AMAZING. I mean, I went to Rock in Rio first (One Republic, Imagine Dragons and Evanescence were particularly fantastic to me) and then I traveled through some of Eastern Europe. It's been a blast and I saw so many beautiful things – I'm particularly fond of Budapest. But anyway I'm back in Brazil now and sooo ready to continue this journey! First of all THANKOU so much for ALL the new reviews and to everyone who followed/favorited! Each one made me smile, truly!
TheAlienHeart: I noticed the 24 "episodes" thing too! Haha. I sure miss that time when shows had that many episodes, I feel like everything is so short and fast now.
Spider-Menace76: First of all, thanks for all your feedback! We already chatted about this one via PM, but just to leave an answer here as well, when I rewatched the show it honestly seemed like their powers would be top-notch in one chapter and useless in the next and this happened with all of them. I know it's probably just a script situation, but my personal take on it is that it's like sports or artistic skills or anything else where you need to perform. You can still fuck up on something you're usually great at if you're in a bad headspace or something. Glad you were satisfied in the end there, hehe – I love breaking points too. Now about Tim and Jason, I knew this was coming from someone, lol. I'm sorry, I have no excuses. I just don't know them well enough to write them so I made my life easier there hahah. Forgive me.
Relentlesslyoptimistic: Thank YOU! Seriously, that review made me SO happy, you have no idea xD
So guys, everything I've published so far was part I of III. Part II is complete already, but I do need to edit the chapters before publishing them. Still, I should update quickly just like I did with part I. So let's get started already, because part II is 23 chapters long and the juiciest by far haha XD
Death Wish Love
"Again, there's no need to make a huge deal about it, Gar. We can just go to dinner and a movie." Raven said for what felt like the millionth time.
The shapeshifter waved his hand dismissively. "Yes, yes, I know. Don't worry; I'm not going to propose."
She chuckled. "I'm serious, Garfield."
He smiled at her. He knew she wasn't that serious. "Okay but this is our first date as a couple. And you killed it on our first date, so it's gonna be a little more than dinner and a movie."
Raven frowned in confusion. "What first date?"
"You know, the one on the roof of X-Men Mansion. When you did all that cute projection magic and we kissed for the first time." The Changeling's smile widened absentmindedly at the memory.
"Oh, right. That. Well that wasn't a date; that was an apology. And a way to soften you up to get you to sleep with me." The empath smirked.
Garfield laughed openly. "Those are both common date scenarios, actually. And we gazed at the stars and ate and talked and kissed. It was a date, Rae."
Raven rolled her eyes. Maybe it WAS a date. "If you say so."
"Hey, lovebirds! Less chatting, more training!" Nightwing shouted from where he was sparring with Robin. It had been quiet after Darkseid, but Richard Grayson didn't want his team to get too comfortable, so after Christmas he decided it was time for everyone to get back in shape. "And Rae, your magic is top-notch, go do something physical."
Raven grunted. "Fine." She shot her boyfriend one more affectionate look. "See you later."
The Changeling started working out and glancing at her on the treadmill whenever he could. She had taken her cape off to run in it and he just couldn't get over how amazing her legs were. She didn't use them that much because of all the floating, so he had no idea how she got those, but they were stunning. He had to look away and focus when Starfire showed up to time him. He could turn into several animals from other planets and dimensions by now.
"Wow, you're doing really well, BB!" Kory beamed at him.
Garfield shrugged. "I do well when I feel good. The problem is when I don't."
Starfire glanced over at Raven then smiled knowingly at him. "Well let's hope you continue to feel good for now. Can you turn into Krypto?"
The shapeshifter did so and flew around the training room while Kory clapped excitedly.
Later, as the boys were taking a break from training, Damian raised an eyebrow at Nightwing and Changeling's hypnotized gazes and flushed cheeks. "What are you two drooling at…?" He turned his head and smirked. "Oh. I see."
Starfire and Raven had decided to practice yoga and were bending into some vulnerable – and if Garfield and Dick were being honest, quite suggestive – positions. Damian was about to make fun of them for staring but then he tilted his head and frowned, slightly interested when the girls did the Plow Pose. He was young, not blind.
"That's some flexibility, huh?" The young Robin said, also openly watching them now.
Richard hit his brother lightly with his bo-staff. "Stop staring, dude."
Damian grunted. "You two are staring."
"We can stare, we date them." Richard said plainly.
"Yup." The Changeling agreed.
Damian rolled his eyes. "Well, you both look ridiculous."
"I know, right? I took a picture, look." Cyborg showed Robin the picture he took of the two boys and they shared laughter.
Richard and Garfield were unfazed, though. Then Raven whispered something to Starfire.
"Excuse me, do you boys mind giving us some privacy?" Kory shouted sweetly from where she and Raven were now doing the Crane Pose.
"We're not even looking." Richard shouted back, ignoring the judgmental stares from his brother and half-robotic friend.
Raven cleared her throat. "Empath here. You're both making me very uncomfortable."
Nightwing and the Changeling flushed deeply and rose to their feet while Cyborg and Damian laughed at them.
"I keep forgetting she can sense stuff..." Richard mumbled.
"Sorry, mama!" The shapeshifter yelled to his girlfriend.
Raven grunted loudly. "I said no to that."
Garfield chuckled as they left the girls alone to finish their exercise. He had been randomly calling Raven different pet names hoping at some point one of them would grow on her.
That night, they went on their first official date as a couple. Raven asked Starfire for help, because she did want to look nice. No matter how much she still needed to talk to him about personal space and privacy, losing him was never an option. She wanted to stay in this relationship. She wanted to keep this intimacy and closeness for as long as he wanted her, and she had a feeling – or a crippling fear – that wouldn't last forever because eventually he would want someone who walked in sunshine like him, so she wanted to enjoy it while she could.
"Rae? Are you there?" Garfield asked on the other side of Starfire's door.
"I'm here."
"Are you ready?"
She opened the door and they both gasped. Raven's gasp was much more subtle and directed at the flowers in his hand – black satin dahlias, black magic hollyhocks and before-the-storm irises were tied together in a beautiful gothic bouquet. Garfield on the other hand gasped at how stunning she looked in her little black and purple dress with kimono sleeves. She was wearing the necklace he got her for Christmas and the half-updo braided hairstyle made her look all romantic.
"That…you look…" Garfield was definitely second guessing his jeans, t-shirt and jacket.
Raven pointed at the flowers. "Is that for me?"
"Ah-YES!" The shapeshifter chuckled sheepishly and handed her the bouquet.
She took it and smiled a little wider. "Thank you, these are beautiful."
"You're beautiful."
Raven rolled her eyes while Kory giggled merrily behind her. "Okay, let's just go."
"Wait, I need to change. You look way too good and I-"
"Don't be ridiculous, you look perfect." The empath said blankly as she walked past him.
Garfield followed her eagerly, feeling his cheeks warm up. "I look what!?"
"Have fun, you two!" Kory shouted happily in the back.
Raven stopped by her room to carefully arrange her flowers in a vase.
"Did you say I look what now?" The shapeshifter pressed.
"Oh you heard me, Garfield. So where are we going anyway?"
He offered his arm in a cheesy manner and Raven rolled her eyes and took his hand instead. Holding hands didn't make her cringe. She liked holding hands.
"So, I had a lot of ideas and I still want to do as many as I can with you, but then I remembered you asked me once what we would even do together if I like carnivals and you like walks on cemeteries…" Garfield said nervously.
Raven's face softened. "Are we going to the carnival, Gar?"
"And the cemetery."
Raven chuckled lightly. "You don't really want to take a walk on the cemetery with me."
He really didn't. That place gave him chills during the day; he wasn't looking forward to how it felt to be there at night. But he wanted to please her. "Yes, I do."
Raven's face was extremely amused and when she spoke again, her voice was softer. "You don't need to like everything I like, Gar."
"But I like everything about you, I really do."
"I know." She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Let's just go to the carnival and then we'll see, okay? I'm sure I'll have fun. You can get me another tacky giant chicken."
The Changeling grinned widely. "Okay but we're having dinner first."
"So…pizza place?"
Garfield looked outraged. "You're my life, Raven. I'm not taking you for pizza like it's some regular Tuesday. No way."
The sorcerer rolled her eyes yet again. "Then where?"
"I made a reservation at that new Thai place. You like Thai food, right?"
"Yes, I like Thai. But the new one is the fancy one."
"Yeah, that one."
The empath frowned. "Gar, we can't afford that."
"Yes, we can. It's a date, I'm paying." He said through a charming smile.
Raven narrowed her eyes. "Okay before I teleport us anywhere I need to know where you're getting all this money. First this fancy necklace and now this? Are you borrowing money from Dick or something? Because you really don't have to, I don't need any of it."
The Changeling sighed. "Don't worry, I'm not spending money I don't have. I just, I worked a little and I saved some. Okay?"
"When? We've been together all the time." She crossed her arms over her chest.
Garfield chuckled. "No, it was way before Darkseid. After we got back from the whole alternate Universe thing. Back when I was chasing you. I thought maybe if I had a chance to…you know. I wanted to have the option to take you somewhere…nice."
Raven watched him with a mysterious, undecipherable expression on her face. Internally though, her thoughts were wild. He's really been invested in this from the start. Maybe I shouldn't let him spend his money like this. I don't really deserve it. I'm making him waste all this time on me…but I tried to let him go. He said he doesn't want anyone else. Azar knows why but he loves me. I do want to go somewhere nice with him.
"…Rae?" Garfield was feeling uncomfortably nervous again.
"Are you sure this is how you want to spend your money?"
He rolled his eyes fondly. "Yes. I really, really am."
"Okay. Fancy Thai place it is. I'm paying next time, though."
The shapeshifter smiled and nodded because he wasn't about to argue with her, and she teleported them to the restaurant. It really was nice – all private and quiet, which Raven really appreciated, and all romantic as well, which the Changeling was grateful for. He sat across from her and told her to order whatever she wanted. She rolled her eyes at him, but ordered something that seemed really good anyway.
Garfield let out an infatuated sigh once they were alone again. "I really am so lucky. You're so beautiful."
Raven returned his stare intently and her powers captured all the affection and desire emanating from him. She spoke in a whispery voice. "I'm lucky too."
That nearly stopped his heart. "Do you really mean that?"
"Of course I do. Don't you know how I feel about you by now?"
"I…" The Changeling pondered for a moment. Do I know how she feels about me? "Well, I…I know you have romantic feelings for me."
"Yes, we are on a date." Raven pointed out the obvious.
"Right, exactly." Garfield cleared his throat. "I'm just not sure about…well, the depth of those feelings. I've actually been meaning to ask you about something…"
Their food arrived and Raven's eyes stayed intensely locked with his, giving him goosebumps until she finally averted her gaze to thank the man serving the table. As soon as they were alone again, she took a bite and her face became blissful.
"Good?" Garfield grinned.
She swallowed. "So good. This is amazing."
The shapeshifter widened his grin and tried his food as well. It was delicious. He noticed a kid waving at him from another table and waved back. "So, how's that incognito spell going? Cause I think our relationship might be outed tonight…"
"It's going. Why? Are you ashamed of me or something?" Raven asked teasingly.
Garfield huffed in absolute outrage. "Please. I want everyone to know. I just thought maybe you didn't."
"Because I'm a private person." She stated before taking another bite.
That and I'm scared that you're the one who's ashamed of me. "Exactly."
"It will come out eventually, most villains already know. Also, I don't really want to go on a date where you don't look like you."
Garfield frowned. "But I could look like a regular version of me, right?" His frown turned into a flirtatious smile. "Like a handsome, normal version."
"Well, sure. But I like this version." She said bluntly.
He smiled wider, because he found that really flattering. "You haven't seen the regular one."
"Don't need to. I like this one better."
That massaged his ego nicely. If the Changeling was being honest, he felt much more like himself now than in his original state. His powers were such a huge part of him; he wouldn't give them up if he could. So he definitely appreciated her preference for this version, because this really was the truest version of him.
"So what did you want to ask me about?" Raven said when she finished her food.
"I've been meaning to ask you about the stuff you said that night at the park when I asked you about…do you remember? The one when the swing flew off an-"
"I remember."
"Right, uh…sorry again about that, by the way." He shrugged and smiled apologetically.
"Water under the bridge." Where is he going with this?
"Anyway…when you got upset you said all this what if stuff, like what if I said this, and what if I said that what would be the point, etcetera..." He gestured around for emphasis.
"I remember my emotional breakdown, Garfield. What's the question?"
The Changeling bit his lip. "I was just wondering if that's how you feel. Like, if the things you said then were how you really felt."
Raven stared at him quizzically. "As opposed to…?"
"I dunno." He whispered. "But…is it? Is that how you feel?" Please say yes, please say yes.
"Wasn't that obvious?" Raven's blank face showed a slight hint of confusion.
Oh my God it IS how she feels. She feels that way about ME! Wait, that doesn't sound likely. Does she even remember what she said? "Not to me."
"Gar, what do you think I'm doing here?" Raven said in a slightly tired voice while gesturing to herself. Haven't I made how I feel about him abundantly clear? How can he not know?
Garfield's heart accelerated drastically. The things she said to him that night were very intense; almost like saying I love you. If she meant them, she liked him a whole lot more than he thought. "Could you maybe…repeat them? Now that you're not mad at me, I mean?"
Raven frowned. "You know I struggle with saying stuff. Why do you want me to suffer?"
His eyes widened and filled with regret. "No! No, I'd never want that. I wanted to hear them again now that I know you mean them, but you're right. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked…"
The empath sighed slowly and heavily while his face retorted in sorrow and fear poured out of him in alarming waves. He's afraid I'll break up with him again. She contemplated leaving it alone, because he was asking for a lot. He always asked for a lot, and he kept asking for more. This whole relationship was way out of her comfort zone, but he wanted these things so much and it wasn't fair to ask him to give them up because she was too weird for them.
Garfield continued to ramble desperately. "…I didn't mean to upset you or be greedy, please forgive me. I ca-"
"Okay!" She blurted out. When he fell silent and stared at her with wide eyes, she continued. "It's okay; it's not a big deal. You want to hear me say I like you, that's not a crime. Relax."
The Changeling blinked at her in silence and his heart began feeling light again.
"I don't remember exactly what I said though. It was all very intense and well…tell me what you want to hear again so badly." Raven said softly. I can do this.
There it is, that explains it. She doesn't remember what she said. He was suddenly scared to tell her and watch her deny everything, feeling completely mortified for ever having implied she felt that intensely about him. But she was his girlfriend now. He had to be brave enough to talk to her about this because he really did want to know. If there was even the slightest chance she would confirm those feelings for him, he wanted to know.
"Well…you don't have to say it again, I was just wondering, you know…I totally get it if it was an in-the-heat-of-the-moment thing…" The Changeling said lamely.
"I know I don't have to. Just tell me."
He took a deep breath and found a nice spot on the table to stare at while he spoke, feeling and sounding more and more insecure as he went on. "You said that uh…that you burn for me. And that when I touch you, you…you can't think straight. And then you said my light gives you uh…strength. And that you…lie awake thinking about me…and uh…that I have the power to…you know…break your heart."
When he finally looked up at his girlfriend her cheeks were pink and her eyes were wide in the cutest possible way and he couldn't help but smile at her.
Raven cleared her throat and straightened up on her seat feeling proud of herself for not exploding anything in this fancy expensive restaurant during all of that. "Wow you really memorized that, huh?"
It was Garfield's turn to blush. "Well, I…yeah."
"Gar, I don't think I can say all that to you without my powers causing damage." She said truthfully and then she sensed conflict and confusion pouring out of him when he felt both dread and hope at the same time. "But I did mean them." She quickly added.
The Changeling's wide eyes immediately shot up to meet hers at that last part.
"I do mean them. That is how I feel. Every word. Maybe later when we're back I can activate my crystal and…then I can repeat them if it means that much to you."
Garfield's heart was full and warm and completely healed from any heartache it had ever felt. It also accelerated uncomfortably again. She said every word. EVERY word. She JUST said it. She burns for me!? She lies awake thinking about me!? She feels that I give her…wait, does she love me!? "Y-you did? You do? I-it is? You can? You would!?"
Raven smiled slightly at her flustered boyfriend. So. Freaking. Cute. Then she thought of something and her smile gained a mischievous sensual quality. "I'll do it, but then you have to do something for me after."
She didn't want to withhold all the power in the relationship. She wanted to share it, not only because it would make him happier, but it would make her happier too because she did need him to feel safer and relax a little. But she wasn't just going to give it all away either.
Raven's sexual comment interrupted Garfield's little meltdown and left his mind completely blank for a few seconds. Then it slowly started functioning again and he grinned idiotically at her, because hearing her say those things to him when they were alone in her room and then pleasing her sexually afterwards was a win-win situation for him. Raven's eyes were naughty again and he felt his skin tingle and burn with anticipation. "Anything you want, my dark queen." He whispered playfully. "I live to serve you."
Raven's cheeky smile grew. "Good to know."
Once they got to the carnival, Garfield immediately went to get her a prize. This time it wasn't as easy because he was actually nervous, and then he was getting frustrated and embarrassed so she may have magically meddled with the game just a little to make sure he hit the target. He didn't notice and when he beamed at her she knew for sure it was the right thing to do. She picked a giant teddy bear this time and then Garfield dragged her to the Ferris wheel.
"Hey, instead of the cemetery, let's just go on that ride." Raven said casually at some point.
The Changeling looked in the direction she was pointing at and all color drained from his face. "The scary one?"
"It's a rollercoaster, you like rollercoasters." She shrugged, holding onto her teddy bear.
The shapeshifter gulped. "It's a haunted rollercoaster."
Raven rolled her eyes. "Garfield Logan, you have tamed your Beast, battled alien Gods, had sex in a demonic dimension – with a demon, taken a life to protect me and nearly died yourself. You can't seriously be scared of a haunted carnival ride."
Garfield blinked blankly, realizing he had done all those things and she was right, it didn't make sense to be scared – and yet he was. But it was the only thing she'd asked for. She'd gone on all the rides he wanted, even though she was clearly bored on some of them, and she never complained. And she excused him from the entire graveyard portion of the date. Now she wanted him to go on this one ride with her. "Er…okay."
It was absolutely terrifying, but the fact that Raven was right beside him looking completely unfazed really helped. He held onto her the entire time. He got jump scares and shouted and hugged her tightly, burying his face in her shoulder. Their ride photo came out with him desperately clinging to her while she had a tiny amused smile on her lips.
Raven paid for the picture. "I want this."
"So you don't think I'm a coward?" The Changeling asked, glancing at the compromising photo.
"I know you're not. I have no idea what this is." She held their photo up in the air. "But it's cute. I want it."
Garfield's stupid gigantic grin came back and he blushed. He noticed she was rubbing her arms and it was getting chillier, so he took off his jacket and put it over her shoulders.
"No, you'll get cold."
The shapeshifter shot her a flirty smile. "I won't. You make me feel warm inside."
Raven rolled her eyes intently. "You're so cheesy."
It didn't bother him, because she said it while properly putting on his jacket and he got to relish in that. It was too big for her and she looked really cute in it.
"Do you feel safe with me?" The empath suddenly asked, looking at their ride photo again.
Garfield frowned as if that was the craziest question in the world. "Who wouldn't!?"
"No, I don't mean in that way. I mean, in this relationship. Do you feel safe with me?"
He faltered. What do I say? Do I? I don't really feel safe about any of this. I'm always scared she'll change her mind about us, but…that's not her fault. "I…"
"Because you are." Raven said softly. "Look, I can't keep reassuring you all the time, that's not going to work. But I guess I can do it one more time. I know I'm difficult to date."
His nervousness turned into indignation at that last part. "What are you talking about!?"
She rolled her eyes again. She'd been rolling her eyes a lot. "I am. It's like you said to me once, I'm not a well of tenderness, right? But I'm trying to let you know right now. I'm invested. This is the closest I've ever been to being…happy. You're safe with me."
Garfield's eyes welled up. "Rae…that…"
The sorcerer realized he was about to make some teary emotional speech about how much that meant to him, so she cleared her throat and picked up her teddy bear again. "Don't get all sentimental on me now. C'mon, you're getting me cotton candy."
He smiled dreamily, following after her while happily humming the melody to Stutter. I love her. I love her so much. I'll never stop loving her.
Once they were back in Raven's room, she activated her crystal and Garfield pulled her closer by his jacket. She spoke the words she'd promised in shaky whispers in between kisses and it was a bit of a struggle for her because she wasn't used to expressing this openly. He hadn't expected her to go through with it and it swelled his heart with love and bliss. Hearing those words from her in this context was everything he could have possibly wanted and even better than he'd imagined. In her own way, she was basically telling him she loved him. His chest burned with passion and he sweetly kissed down her neck. And yet there was an annoying twinge of fear. Fear of losing this bliss. He was so happy that the thought of losing her was a hundred times scarier than the thought of never having her ever was.
Raven teased the tips of his ears with her fingers, sending shivers down his spine. Then she tangled her fingers in his hair and leaned his head back slightly. He smiled at her, fully aware she was reclaiming power. Whenever she demanded control, she had it. He didn't fight her. He couldn't and he didn't really want to. When Raven was being dominant, she was so entirely focused on him, as if there was no one else in the world, and he got her undivided attention. Not to mention he found this version of her really sexy.
"Ready to do something for me now?" The empath asked in a low, sensual voice.
"Always." Garfield said truthfully, feeling absolutely eager to please.
She could tell by the look in his eyes she had him in the palm of her hand and it turned her on immensely. They really knew what to do and were very familiar with how to give each other pleasure by now, so they were more efficient than ever. Raven's eyes glistened and darkened while he dutifully got between her legs to fulfill her every desire. And then he kissed and sucked and licked on her until she climaxed. Raven pulled him close and for the rest of the night, they reduced each other to a stammering, shaky, sweaty mess.
The next day, the Changeling woke up alone. He frowned and quickly sniffed his girlfriend, following her scent into the ops room. It was very early in the morning and she was the only one there, floating in a Lotus stance in all her grace, quietly chanting her mantra. She lowered herself to the ground when she sensed him.
"Morning."
"Morning, babe." Garfield said cheekily.
Raven grimaced and he chuckled light-heartedly.
"Garfield, I've told you. I may have changed my destiny but I'm still me. I'm not a babe, a sweetie, a honey or anything that resembles any of that." She said pointedly.
He bit his lip, suddenly regretting joking about this so much. If she wanted him to call her by her name, he should just do that. I'm getting greedy. I'll lose her if I get greedy. "I'm sorry Rae, I didn't mean to offend you."
"It's not offensive, there's nothing wrong with any of that. It's just not…me."
"I know, I'm sorry. I'll stop."
Raven studied his face for a moment. "You still want to use silly names though, don't you?"
"I don't have to."
"But you want to. You really want to."
"What I want is you." Garfield said sincerely.
She narrowed her eyes at him. He meant that, but she could tell he still wanted the full relationship package really badly. Unlike her, he was a romantic. "Well, I have been thinking about it. The names, I mean."
His eyebrows shot up. "Oh?"
"I feel like Dick's suggestion is the least cringe-worthy. I mean, if this really is important to you. I still find it unnecessary and kind of lame, but-"
"Raven." The Changeling cut her off in a low and serious voice.
"Garfield." She playfully mimicked his tone.
The shapeshifter had to fight back a chuckle. "Rae, do you remember what Dick's suggestion was?" Because I certainly do.
The empath just shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure. It was love, right?"
Garfield's eyes widened and his heart jumped. "You want to use love?"
"Well, a more accurate way to put it is if I have to choose one of these ridiculous nicknames then I guess I'd be okay with using love." She explained plainly.
She's okay with it. Does that mean she loves me? She must love me; she's giving me so many signs. What should I do? Should I ask her? No wait, that's pushy. Just play it cool. "O-okay."
Raven confidently walked up to him and gently placed her hand under his chin with her thumb and index finger along his jawline. "Now where's that stupid, gigantic grin I like so much?"
Garfield felt like he could melt like butter. He gave her that exact blissful expression while hearing his heart pounding in his ears.
"There it is." Raven smiled before leaning in to give him a quick peck on the lips and then casually walking to the kitchen to make her tea.
The Changeling thought he might explode with happiness and excitement, but fortunately for him that's not humanly possible, so he widened his grin even more and allowed his warm, pampered heart to soar, flutter and dare deliciously. When he called her love at breakfast and she didn't even flinch, he shot the others a warning stare that begged them to not make a fuss about it. They caught it and suppressed their reactions. Raven was grateful for it. She could sense how excited they were, obviously, but at least no one was talking about it. She had done enough sentimental talk last night.
Not everything was perfect, though. A few days later, Raven realized they had been together for about two months and the honeymoon phase wasn't wearing down. She desperately needed more space and talking about it was long overdue. As much as she adored him, she was definitely overwhelmed and if she was being completely honest, a little annoyed. If she went out to her café or the magic shop, he texted her asking where she was. He still found his way to her room every single night and it no longer felt like a sanctuary because he didn't even knock anymore. She had been getting up earlier to meditate because not only did she need to meditate more often now that kissing and sweet-talking were part of her daily routine, it was also one of her few moments of solitude since he usually slept in – but she was getting tired.
"Kory, I need you. Can we go out today?" Raven asked her alien best friend at breakfast. Maybe girl talk could help her figure out how to address the issue with Garfield.
Starfire happily opened her mouth to accept, but someone else spoke first.
"Can I come?" The shapeshifter asked eagerly.
"No, Garfield, you can't participate in girl talk." Raven said tiredly.
The Tamaranean nodded. "That is simply not how it works."
Girl talk? Why do they need girl talk!? Does she want to talk about me? This is a bad sign. "When will you be back?"
Richard frowned, trying to warn his green friend with his eyes that this wasn't a good idea.
"I have no idea. This will probably take the whole day, actually, so you're free to do your own thing." Raven said before sipping her tea.
"But I was hoping we could spend some time together today…" Garfield practically whined.
The empath sighed. "We spend time together all the time." She sounded a little too emphatic. She really did need to talk to Starfire. "I'd like to spend time with Kory today."
Richard's warning stare intensified, but sadly, Garfield wasn't looking at him. Cyborg and Damian came in and immediately picked up on the awkward vibes.
"Looks like there's trouble in paradise." Damian whispered to Victor before they approached the others.
"But the whole day!?" The Changeling grunted exasperatedly. "Will you at least miss me?"
"I'd like to, but you won't let me." Raven muttered under her breath before she could think.
Garfield frowned. "Huh?"
Well, it's too late to take it back. "We need to spend time apart so that I can miss you, Gar. So just…do your thing. Let me miss you. It will be good for us."
He suddenly felt a little desperate. "Wait that sounds like an excuse to get away from me. Did I do something wrong?"
"No." The empath said pointedly while rubbing her temples.
Starfire decided to help. "Maybe she just misses me and-"
"Then why do you want to spend a whole day away from me? What do you even need to talk about with Kor that will take that long?"
Raven huffed tiredly. "This, Garfield." She gestured towards him. "I need to talk to her about this. You're smothering me, okay?"
The shapeshifter inhaled and held his breath. He stared at her with wide, fearful eyes. Shit.
This time Raven didn't back down. "I thought it would get better but it didn't, it should have gotten better by now. You said you wouldn't do this. You've been really…clingy. I haven't even slept alone in two months." At this point she sensed how hurt he was and softened her voice and expression. To be fair, wanting to be around the person all the time was probably normal for the second month of a relationship. But…she wasn't normal. "It's just; I thought you knew who I am. I need my space and you're not respecting that. And every time I try to bring it up you look at me like that. It's not fair."
Everyone else had silently and slowly stepped away from the kitchen counter and awkwardly headed over to the couch, where they were now pretending to watch TV – but they were still trying to listen, obviously.
"I-I…" The shapeshifter fought back tears. Say something, Garfield. Say something before she ends it. "I'm sorry."
Raven sighed regretfully and softened her voice even more to the point it was practically sweet. "You don't need to feel like that; I'm not trying to break up with you, love."
Garfield's tight heart was suddenly released from the invisible oppressive grip around it and he felt like he could breathe again. The fact that she called him love really helped. He swallowed the tears that had been threatening to fall, but a single treacherous one escaped and rolled down his cheek. Raven wiped it with her thumb. He looked up at her in surprise and she was watching him with a concerned look on her face.
No matter how much Raven needed to say all this to him, she still couldn't help feeling awful when she sensed his heartache. At least the dreadful fear was gone. "I didn't mean to say it like that. That's why I wanted to talk to Kor." She whispered. "I'm sorry. I wish I'd found a better way to say it. I hate hurting you."
Her sweetness was warming his heart and he realized the content of what she was saying really wasn't surprising at all. There was a part of him that had hoped once they were together Raven would find out she didn't need that much space and was actually much more romantic than she thought. But it wasn't fair to hold her to his delusional expectations when she had been honest with him from the start. In fact, she was exactly who he fell in love with. And she wanted to be with him, she just needed a little more space than he did because they were really different people.
Raven could sense he was feeling a little better. "Are you okay? Or are you deciding to break up with me now?" She frowned slightly. It was supposed to be a joke, but she would be lying if she said she wasn't a little worried. He could just decide her terms weren't acceptable to him.
Garfield chuckled and gasped at the same time. "As if! I'll never break up with you."
The empath rolled her eyes. "You don't know that."
"I do."
"You don't. You can't know that. No one can."
"Well, I do." The Changeling said firmly. "I mean, I just can't believe you're mine. That's why I act all crazy, you know?"
Raven's face contorted into an uncomfortable frown. "Ah…that's actually another thing. This possessive bit…the you're mine and the she belongs to me whenever someone even looks at me. I'm not entertained by it."
Garfield gasped. "But we say stuff like that all the time! You say it too! Yesterday you said I'm-"
"Only when we're…intimate." Raven whispered pointedly. "We talked about this, there's stuff we only say in the bedr-" She stopped midsentence when she sensed their other friends' emotions going wildly out of control from interest to discomfort. She cleared her throat and turned to the couch. "I thought you were watching TV over there."
"Oh we are, please continue with the explanation of the dirty talk! We are not doing the listening!" Starfire shouted sweetly before Richard elbowed her lightly and she giggled.
Garfield's face became a very reddish shade of green.
Raven sighed. "Maybe we should talk somewhere else."
"No need." Nightwing stood up. "C'mon, everyone. It's practice time anyway."
The others grunted and sighed and complained, but got up all the same.
Dick addressed the pair by the counter. "You two can come after uh…when you finish…"
"Yes honey, they understand." Starfire pulled him by the hand towards the training room.
Raven looked at Garfield again and cleared her throat. "Gar, it's okay to play around when we're intimate and it's all fun, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it out of that context."
He nodded slowly. "Right. So…no more saying you're mine?"
"I know you think it's romantic, but…I've lived my entire life under Trigon's influence and now I just really only want to belong to myself. Is that okay?"
The Changeling frowned apologetically and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, obviously. I should have known that. Duh. I…I don't mean it like that, you know…"
"Oh, I know." She said quickly. "But if we're being honest, you can get a little…"
"Territorial. I know." Garfield bit his lip. "I'll work on it."
Raven smiled softly. "Thank you."
"Maybe you should go out with Kor today. And I guess I could sleep in my room tonight."
Her smile widened and she leaned in to give him a peck on the cheek. "Thank you, love."
Raven headed towards the training room and he smiled dreamily before following after her. Okay, maybe keeping some distance will make her like me more.
Death Wish Love (Benson Boone)