First of all, you guys are really fast readers, I'm like, really impressed LOL
Krumelmonster: Have a little faith in me, love! I made a promise, I'm keeping it. XD
Guest reviewer: Thankou! xD I mean, I know we're mad at him right now but I can't. He's such a sweetheart, but that's the problem with making someone else your entire world. He just needs maturing. I really think selfless love is the purest, rarest type of love and you don't really get there until you figure out how to love yourself first. And there's nothing like losing something important to ignite change…hehe xD
Part One was all about falling in love. Part Two is all about growing up. We'll get there! xD
Happy reading!
You Should See Me in a Crown
"Trouble!" Nightwing shouted. Everyone gathered in the ops room in seconds. "It's Brother Blood and the HIVE. And it's a hostage situation, so we need to be careful about this."
Richard raised an eyebrow at Damian and Rose at that last part. They both just rolled their eyes and huffed.
"Titans, go!"
When they got there, they quickly realized Blood and the HIVE weren't alone. They saw Harley Quinn first, arguing with Blood and apparently driving him insane. He kept trying to control her mind, but it clearly wasn't working. And then Garfield just knew she was there. He sniffed her – she still smelled like lavender. Raven had her eyes on Harley and arms crossed over her chest, with her brows furrowed. Conner listened to what the blonde and Brother Blood were saying so he could report it for them.
If the Changeling had tried hard enough, he probably could have heard their discussion himself – they weren't that far away. But they had Superboy for that, and his hearing was way better anyway. Besides, Garfield's mind was hazy and unfocused, because she was there, looking stoic and evil. And all his senses wanted to capture was her. In fact, he basically shut his brain down.
And then before Superboy could report anything, Superman suddenly barged in from the sky, as fast as lightning, and pinned Raven to the floor, making her grunt in pain. Harley Quinn immediately tried to run, because the empath had been shielding her mind, but Blood grabbed her and looked into her eyes.
Meanwhile, Krypto barked desperately at the sight of Superman tackling Raven. Superboy huffed. he'll listen to me. "Clark, let her go. They're not-"
"Conner. Kory. Go to them!" Richard ordered, realizing Clark was much too preoccupied with subduing Raven at the moment to pay attention to Conner Kent's distant words. "You too, Krypto." He added when he noticed the dog really wanted to go too. He was really fond of her and he obviously missed his original owner – he didn't want anything bad to happen.
Nightwing didn't send Garfield, but the shapeshifter's muscles were tensed up and ready.
Superman had been speaking to the former Titan in a calm voice while she glared furiously at him. "Raven, you need to stop. Don't fight it. I'm taking you to-"
He stopped talking at once when he looked into her scarlet, glowing eyes, because threatening images of Lois Lane getting terribly hurt flooded his mind.
Raven's echoed, low voice gained that ethereal quality again. "No. You don't fight it."
When Superboy, Krypto and Starfire got to them, they didn't need to protect her anymore, because Clark got off of her and straightened up making everyone gasp in fear, for there were four red demonic eyes on his face. The empath floated off the ground, looking angrier than ever. Krypto barked at her in a hostile manner for the first time ever, but he didn't attack.
Raven glared at them. "Was this your idea? Sending Superman to take me down?"
Kory frowned. "Rae, of course not! What…what did you do to him?"
"Holy shit you possessed Superman!?" Catwoman shouted in awe, approaching the empath and the Titans.
The sorcerer took a deep breath and touched her forehead. Possessing Superman took a lot of energy. "Yes."
Starfire and Superboy instinctively took a step back.
"Blood got Harley…" Selina whispered to the sorcerer.
"Raven…you need to let him go." Conner said, staring at the Trigon-powered man of steel.
The empath frowned. "Oh, do I? Why? Why should I?"
Catwoman smugly folded her arms. "I think you need to stop telling her what to do."
Superboy opened his mouth, but Starfire put a hand on his arm to stop him and stared at Raven with an extremely vulnerable, pleading expression.
The truth was she was letting him go before heading back to Siren Mansion, not only because of Kory's pained face but because it was too tiring. Keeping a hold of Superman would be absolutely exhausting. But she didn't want to tell them that. "I don't have time for this."
Raven urgently opened a portal and went to follow Catwoman through it.
"STOP!"
Garfield had despaired the second he saw Superman possessed. He'd decided since this was all his fault, he needed to stop her no matter what. It seemed like the Sirens were involved in this whole hostage situation, which meant lives were in danger, and now they had the most powerful hero on the planet under their control. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let her leave. His reflexes had taken over for him.
Raven's already bruised heart froze and her stomach twirled disgustingly when she saw him aiming at her with a gun. She didn't know whether she was hurt, angry or annoyed, but she immediately closed her portal and glared at him, feeling particularly bitter.
Superboy widened his eyes. "Changeling, wait! That's not-"
"Don't." The empath hissed warningly, never removing her gaze from her ex. "What are you doing with that, Gar? Are you planning to kill me?"
The shapeshifter frowned and looked down at his hands then back up at her in shock. He hadn't thought it through at all, he just instinctively took down some of their minions and pulled the gun from one of them. But now he realized this desperate attempt to stop her was stupid. He couldn't shoot her if the world depended on it. Besides, now it wouldn't work even if he could. She would just stop the bullet. Plus, he despised guns. None of it made sense. He just needed her to stop moving; to stop making bad decisions, so that he could save her and everyone else and stop feeling like worthless shit.
"Are you going to shoot me, love?" Raven sounded equally vicious and wounded as she slowly walked towards him. She felt a sudden urge to be mean.
Of course not. The Changeling immediately tried to lower his arms so he could talk to her, but then his eyes widened enormously, because he couldn't. Some magical energy was keeping them in place. Her magical energy.
"No, you don't get to back down." The sorcerer stayed within his aim the whole time as she moved closer. "You point a gun at me, means you're willing to shoot."
The shapeshifter panted. "Stop it! No, I…I don't want to. Stop, please."
Raven allowed her chest to touch the tip of the barrel, wrapping a hand around it to direct the aim towards her heart. Her eyes were daring him. "Why not? Go on. Finish me."
Garfield shook his head and fought back tears, being only a slight motion away from killing her. It was absolutely terrifying. It was even worse when he realized her eyes were teary too while she waited there in this vulnerable position at gunpoint. He whispered to her. "Raven, stop. I didn't mean it. Let me move."
"Why did you point a gun at me?"
"I was trying to stop you." He took a shaky, desperate breath. "You…you're with Blood. And…you possessed Superman. But stop, I don't want to shoot! Just stop doing this!"
She frowned. "You think I came here to hurt people?"
Everyone else was beyond tense at this point. Garfield was shaking slightly and Raven's heart was still at gunpoint. The other Titans had carefully approached them.
"Changeling, they were negotiating with Blood. To get the hostages out." Conner said slowly and carefully.
Oh shit. Garfield panted heavier and avoided her eyes, because he just knew they would be full of disappointment. Of course she's helping. It's Raven. It's my Rae. What the fuck am I doing? He focused on relaxing his trigger finger so he didn't accidentally murder the love of his life as he felt the tears silently run down his cheeks.
"Raven, please let him go." Richard pleaded. "Just let him put that gun down."
"Look at me. You were ready to shoot me, so look at me."
Garfield forced himself to look into her eyes and the sight crushed his heavy heart. She looked even more disappointed than he'd imagined.
"Good to know how highly you think of me now." The empath whispered before releasing him.
The Changeling quickly tossed the gun aside and turned back to her, but she had already vanished. Clark Kent was back in control of his body – and listening to a very displeased Superboy lecture him about how everything had been under control before he showed up. The shapeshifter didn't meet anyone's eyes.
"Are you telling me they came here to rescue people?" Clark raised an eyebrow, though not quite as confidently as he would like, because he still felt a bit sick – being possessed will do that to you.
"Well, probably not out of the goodness of their hearts, but yes." Superboy said pointedly. "I'm sure there's a perfectly villainous explanation, but since no one was getting hurt..."
Suddenly, they heard commotion inside the building. It sounded violent.
"I guess the peaceful approach went out the window." Damian said, pulling his bo-staff. "Since you're here you might want to help, Superman. Maybe tackle the right villain this time?"
Clark didn't think this misplaced hostility was fair at all, because they had been looking away from her crimes for a while now and that was the only reason he even interfered, but since his interference wasn't successful, he decided to avoid arguing about it. The HIVE, the Sirens and the Titans all engaged in battle with one another. It was a complete mess, but Kid Flash and Krypto got all the hostages out safely – though some of them were wounded.
Raven managed to release Harley from Blood's control and Ivy eventually poisoned him. Much of the HIVE immediately switched to the Sirens' side, which had always been their goal – Raven's condition being that they got the hostages out first, but ironically, the Justice League ruined that. The fight got a lot harder for the Titans and it was good that Superman was there. The empath opened evasive portals to Siren Mansion wherever she saw allies.
"Raven! Stop, please!Talk to me!" Garfield shouted at her while he fought Billy Numerous.
She couldn't listen to his voice anymore. After implying she was there to hurt innocent people, he still dared to ask her to listen. Her lust for revenge had been pressing her for a while now and enough was enough. She summoned Klarion to her side and intently glared at Garfield before pulling the warlock into a passionate kiss. She could sense how much it hurt him, but she had her own pain to manage. The more he broke her heart, the easier it was to break his.
Crash and burn. Billy hit him directly, but he barely felt it when he hit the ground, because his heart was hurting so much more. The Changeling felt his eyes well up as he watched Klarion smirk against her lips and grab onto her hips. When Billy taunted him from multiple directions, he just turned into a demon and sensed the original, charging at him and nearly tearing him apart. His mind was racing and his heart filled with bitterness, because anger felt better than guilt. Leaving me. Kissing Klarion. She did it to spite me; she made sure I was watching. I made ONE mistake. One fucking mistake and she'll never stop hurting me. She knows I'm sorry. She just wants me to suffer. She never even loved me. If she loved me, she wouldn't do this.
"Let us go and I won't do it again." Raven said menacingly, glaring at Superman.
Only a few HIVE members and the Sirens remained, and she felt completely exhausted at this point. But she definitely had one more possession in her, even if that was Clark Kent. Especially after what Garfield did – wrath is a powerful motivator.
"Think about it, Raven. You couldn't keep your hold on me without risking letting Trigon win. Is that what you want?" Superman tried to reason with her.
"I don't need to keep you." The empath hissed. "The world just needs to see you with four eyes once to know that I can do it. How do you think that's going to look?"
Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn laughed loudly. Catwoman just smirked. Raven opened the portal.
"RAVEN!"
She froze at the sound of his angry voice before she could flee. What does he want NOW?
"LOOK AT ME!"
The sorcerer turned around to glare at the Changeling. "What? Did you decide you want to shoot me after all?"
"STOP punishing me! You're doing ALL of this to punish me, it's NOT fair! These are all YOUR choices, I'm DONE feeling guilty!" Garfield yelled.
Raven clenched her jaw. She did sense a lot of anger from him. "I didn't ask you to feel bad. I don't care how you feel." She turned around to leave again.
"CLEARLY you don't! You don't give a fuck about me! You're so freaking vindictive! I hurt you so you hurt me back, right!? You can't keep blaming everything on ME!"
Look at how he's talking to you, you stupid bitch. The empath struggled to keep her powers from outing how much he was hurting her right now. She didn't turn to him to answer. "I'm not blaming you; I've been blaming me from the start! Now leave me alone."
"And I want my stuff back!" The shapeshifter hissed childishly before she could escape.
Raven turned around at that. Please, no. She had been using it. She glanced at his drawings every now and then and held onto her plush turtle Michelangelo every night. Fuck. The empath folded her arms. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. All of it. Mikey, the books, the necklace, the giant bear, the drawings…I want it all back! You don't get to leave and keep any of it!"
In the back of his mind, Garfield knew he was probably taking it too far, but he was too angry to be reasonable. If he was being completely honest, he was just trying to make her cry at this point. He had been crying nonstop and she looked radiant and sexy. It drove him insane.
The sorcerer swallowed and hardened her face. Fuck, will he ever stop breaking my heart? "It's not your stuff, it's mine. You gave them to me."
"What's going on right now?" Clark whispered uncomfortably to Superboy.
"Shhh, I'm listening." Conner whispered back, earning an eye roll from the man of steel.
He wasn't alone. They were all awkwardly and silently – but also curiously – watching this rather intimate and slightly comical discussion.
"NO!" Garfield spat out. "I gave those to the girl I loved, when I thought she loved me back! YOU don't fucking love me, you never did! You don't deserve it!"
That was too much for her. The floor cracked loudly, making everyone either lose balance and jump or shout. Her face remained stoic, but it felt like he'd grabbed her bruised heart in his hands and twisted it. Raven frowned, allowing only annoyance to show on her face. "You didn't think I loved you when you gave me Michelangelo OR the books! You didn't even think you loved me. You loved her!" She angrily pointed at an awkward-looking Terra. "You gave those to me to apologize for being an awful friend!"
Superman couldn't remember ever being this confused in a fight. "Who's Michelangelo?"
"Shhhh." Cyborg was the one to shush him this time.
Garfield opened his mouth to argue before realizing she was right and hesitating for a second. "Oh…okay, FINE!" He cleared his throat, reclaiming his anger. "Then, keep those. But I want everything I gave my girlfriend, I want it all back! Unless you already set it on fire or something!"
"Of course I didn't set it on fire!"
"This is so juicy." Harley giggled to Ivy, who nodded and smirked in agreement.
"Well, then I'm reclaiming it! I mean, it's not like you even have a reason to keep any of it! Clearly I mean NOTHING to you, so WHY do you even want it!?"
Fuck. Raven hardened her face even more, because she couldn't answer that without making a complete fool of herself in front of him and everyone else. "FINE, Garfield. You can have your stupid stuff back! I'll send it through a portal you selfish, petty, despicable CHILD!" She turned around before anyone could say anything else or tears could find their way to her eyes and give her away. She had no idea how she got through that with only a huge crack on the floor. "We're GOING!"
And then they fled through her portals and a very heavy, silent and tense atmosphere remained. Garfield realized he'd thought that would make him feel a lot better than it did.
"Well, that was dramatic…and a little silly." Barbara Gordon pointed out.
Raven paced back and forth in her room. She took the sketch book in her hands and analyzed it. I told him I'd send it back. I should send it back. I told EVERYONE I'd send it back. So…I have to. Right? She opened it and glanced through his sketches of her. He's right, I don't deserve this. I never did. The empath closed her eyes and took a deep breath when her heart tightened painfully again. It hurt twenty-four seven lately, but sometimes it got nearly unbearable. She opened her eyes and frowned at a particularly sweet drawing of her glancing over her shoulder and smiling softly. Yeah, but…he made me think I deserved it. I was fine before until he made me fall for him. And now I'll never have this again. Her eyes welled up and she decisively closed the sketch book. I'm not sending him shit.
Back in Titan Tower, Garfield was now feeling rather embarrassed about the whole scene everyone had witnessed earlier. Cyborg was the first to ask him what the fuck that was and he said he would tell him when he found out. So he was trying to find out. Maybe all his repressed heartache just came out at once in the most inappropriate way.
"So…what did they say?" Terra raised an eyebrow when Barbara and Dick finished discussing the whole thing with the Justice League.
"Well…they're worried." Batgirl shrugged. "I mean, can you blame them? Now she can possess people, including Superman? It's a little terrifying."
"Well, technically she always could, she just chose not to." Damian smirked. "Also, I'm pretty sure she needs consent. So he might have done a poor job at resisting it."
"Very reassuring." Barbara rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. "So tell me, what can't this chick do?"
"Apparently, get over Beast Boy." Superboy said easily.
There was an awkward pause. Garfield's eyes widened slightly. And then the room burst into bittersweet laughter. Dick and Kory didn't laugh, though.
"Shut up, she's definitely over me." The Changeling muttered under his breath.
"Oh, really? Did she send your stuff back?" Conner raised an amused eyebrow.
"I-I…" Garfield stuttered and bit his lip. She hadn't sent his stuff back. He hadn't failed to notice that. "No…but that's probably because she did set everything on fire and just didn't want to admit it. I shouldn't have asked for that anyway…it was petty."
"No shit." Ravager chuckled. "It was the pettiest thing I have ever seen. I admire your guts, though. Also, I don't think she burned your shit. Conner's right."
Superboy smiled and turned to the shapeshifter again. "Yes I am, though I have no idea why she's so into you. Maybe it's self-punishment."
Garfield cradled his head in his hands and grunted loudly. "Ugh, I didn't mean it! I just, I freaked out when she kissed Klarion! I mean, Klarion!"
"Woah, she kissed Klarion!?" Cyborg squeaked in shock.
The Changeling looked up pitifully. "Ah-YEAH! She looked right at me and smirked and then she sucked his face! She was trying to hurt me!"
"To be fair, maybe she did that because you pointed a gun at her." Terra smiled slightly.
The shapeshifter only went silent for a brief moment, but it was enough for someone else to decide to change the subject.
"I don't think our focus should be on who's over who when there's a powerful half-demon witch on the loose." Batgirl said pointedly.
Damian shrugged. "Babs, what's the big deal? Clark attacked her, she defended herself. I know she's an outlaw now, but she's still Raven. You don't know her. There's no reason to be worried or scared."
Richard folded his arms. "Exactly. Besides, she's probably still overwhelmed from healing the Joker. And then Superman jumps on her without even giving us a heads-up and brainless over there makes everything worse." He gestured towards Garfield, and then he turned his head to glare at him. "By the way, you're off all missions involving the Sirens." He looked at Barbara again. "Considering everything, I think she kept it cool."
Batgirl sighed. "Okay, Dick. I don't fully disagree, but it's just tha-"
"WHAT!?" Garfield squeaked. "What do you mean I'm off all missions involving the Sirens!?"
Nightwing frowned. "Be glad it's not all missions."
"You're grounding me!? For how long!?" The idea of not even seeing her in battle as an enemy hurt. He still missed her profoundly, and it was all he had for now.
"Until you stop making dumb decisions whenever she's involved." Richard said plainly.
"What!? That's not fair! I-"
"Garfield." Nightwing raised his voice a notch. "Their whole plan was to take Blood down anyway. We should have waited and only engaged when they started recruiting. The hostages would have been safe."
"That wasn't me, I didn't fuck that up! That was freaking Superman!"
I mean, THAT'S true. "Right, sorry. You just went in after him and made everything worse. I didn't tell you to go to them; I told Conner and Kory to go. If you'd just listened instead of bitterly staring at your ex it wouldn't have been this shitty. Every time something like this happens, you make it harder for us to turn her back."
He's right. He's absolutely right. Garfield looked down. "I made a mistake. I made a few mistakes today, okay? I'm sorry."
"All you do lately is make mistakes." Richard knew it was too harsh the second he said it, and he would have known anyway by the look on Starfire's face, but it was too late.
Ouch. Garfield inhaled slowly and refused to let his eyes well up. "I said I'm sorry."
"Well, great. You're still not going whenever she's involved."
"Fine, whatever." At least I won't have to watch her kiss that jerk again.
Nightwing left and both Batgirl and Starfire followed him. Kory mostly followed him to discuss this hostility towards the Changeling – and because Barbara did. Not having Raven here to talk to about this was getting to her, because Koriand'r was definitely still worried about their relationship.
"Don't worry, he's just upset." Bumblebee said softly, trying to comfort Garfield.
He looked up and saw sympathetic faces all around. And then he felt like he didn't deserve them. "…do you guys think I hurt her feelings?"
They all frowned in confusion at the absurdity of that question.
"Wasn't that the point?" Rose asked incredulously.
"Yeah, aren't you two in a who-hurts-who-the-most battle or whatever?" Superboy smirked. "Cause you definitely scored."
Wait, what!? ARE we!? Garfield felt nauseated again, because he hated the sound of that. He had meant to hurt her in that moment, yes. But that was only because he convinced himself he couldn't. Now that the anger was gone and memories of them flooded back in, he just felt like shit. He was tired of being punished, that much was true. But he didn't want her to think he didn't love her anymore, because that was very untrue.
"Also, I'm telling you right now. If she's ever good again, I'm making a move." Conner stated. "Don't even start." He added when the shapeshifter gasped in outrage. "You're making it way too easy. You're probably the whole reason Klarion got with her."
Garfield frowned and felt sick again. He wasn't sure if it was because of the implication he'd hurt her that bad, because he remembered her kissing the warlock or because of the image of Superboy charmingly listening to her complain about him and hitting on her in the process.
"Listen…BB? I know Dick was a jerk about it, but I think not seeing her for a while might help." Terra whispered in a friendly tone.
A few more days passed by and the Sirens were quickly becoming a well-stablished empire. They controlled drug trafficking and most of the criminal scene, not to mention they had several powerful politicians in the palm of their hand. They'd also expanded their domain considerably. Those who dared challenge them ended up hurt or enslaved – Raven searched their hearts and decided whether or not they were deserving of free will.
Still, they didn't harm innocent people. They did harm heroes when they got in their way, but they hadn't killed any of them yet. Raven and the Titans usually avoided direct confrontation since they knew their hearts wouldn't be in it. And the empath tried filling the hole in her chest with power and fortune.
Garfield had been playing video games with Cyborg all afternoon. Not seeing her did help a bit. He still missed her painfully, but he kept busy during the day so he didn't have time to think of her – or imagine who she was with. "Hey, Cy?" He chuckled slightly. "Guess why gamers need to play more after a breakup."
Cyborg frowned. "Why?"
"They need to console themselves!" It was just a sad, desperate, lousy attempt to make fun of his own misery. He missed laughing so much.
"Dude, that's just distasteful." Victor chuckled lightly, shaking his head.
"Seriously? You're joking about this?"
The shapeshifter stiffened at the sudden sound of Dick's disapproving voice behind him, which made him lose to Cyborg. "Damn, seriously, man? First you ground me from all the cool missions, now you cost me this match!"
Most of them chuckled, but Richard just frowned and walked to the kitchen. This had been bothering Garfield for a while now. Nightwing had been harder on him. Way harder. Not just during training and missions, but in general. He was just…colder. He often shut him down when he tried to make a joke and he barely engaged in conversation with him anymore.
"Dude, just spit it out!" The Changeling got up and followed after him. "Whatever you need to say to me, just say it!"
Richard raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't know what you're talking about, Garfield."
"Of course you do. You've been an asshole to me. And I know I've made a few mistakes but you're not the one I hurt, so I don't think it's fair for you to treat me like shit!"
"I'm not treating you like shit." Dick was starting to get annoyed. "Drop it, Garfield. Seriously, you're imagining things." He's not imagining things.
Everyone else was watching intently – and worriedly – at this point.
"You're rude to me, you push me harder than everyone else, you don't trust me with anything, you cut me off whenever I try to say anything at all and-"
"Garfield. Trust me. Drop it." Richard repeated in an even more serious tone.
"NO. I can't drop it, because whatever is making you this mad at me, it's not going away unless we talk about it! Why can't you just be honest with me!?" Garfield got in front of him when he tried to leave the ops room.
Nightwing sighed. "Stop pushing. I am trying to spare you."
"From what!? Honesty!? I'll take it over this cold treatment ANY day!"
When Richard glared at him and tried to leave again, he kept turning into something big enough to block his passage. Finally, Nightwing felt frustrated enough to lose his cool and grunted. "FINE, Garfield. You want honesty?"
The Changeling nodded. He wasn't sure if he'd done something to make Dick personally mad at him. No one else was being this much of a jerk. Not even Damian. "Yes! Yes, I do."
"Okay. I think the wrong person left this tower." Richard said plainly, folding his arms in a severe manner. He could tell Garfield didn't expect that from the way he tensed up, but now Dick didn't want to stop. "I mean, I knew it. I just knew it. I knew you would break her heart. I told her, but she was too in love with you to listen. This is ALL your fault."
The Changeling's already heavy heart sank. "Don't you think I know that!?" He felt tears in his eyes again. He had been avoiding thinking about Raven or talking about Raven because it just hurt too much. "I fucking loved her, Dick!" I still fucking love her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry ALL the time, I am! But what can I do about it now? Just tell me, tell me how to fix it and I'll do it! I'll do anything."
Nightwing impatiently shook his head. "It doesn't work like that, Garfield. There are consequences to your actions."
"Okay I get that but I had ONE moment of weakness and messed up, am I being punished forever now? Are you just not my friend anymore? Do you hate me now? Is that it?"
"It's not about that. I'm just mad at you, okay? I'm human too!" Nightwing exhaled, utterly frustrated.
Garfield turned to Starfire. "Kor, help me?"
The Tamaranean frowned at him. "I don't think so."
The shapeshifter gasped. "You hate me too!?"
"Of course not. And I don't think it's ALL your fault. But…I miss her." Kory said softly.
"Well, so do I! But SHE left ME."
Starfire's soft look turned into a stern glare and she stood up. "Garfield Logan. You are acting as if you forgot her birthday instead of condemning her soul!"
He took a literal step back, instantly feeling sick. I did what? "I…what?"
It was Kory's turn to well up. "Where does she go now if she dies? I know she's still trying to stay good but this is obviously a level down from where she was before. Forget the nice Purgatory if we were worried about that. What if she goes t-" The alien girl choked up before she could finish.
"She won't go to Hell, Kor." Damian said softly. "That…that wouldn't be fair."
"Since when is life fair?" Richard frowned. "Why would death be?"
Now everyone felt sick, but Garfield was completely gone. What the fuck did I do? I was supposed to protect her. Tears rolled down his cheeks. "No, I…I didn't think…"
"Of course you didn't." Richard's voice was strained too. "You only thought about you and your feelings."
"NO, I…no!" Garfield panted. "I…I'll find another way! I meant to find another way, I did! I'll find a way to save her!" He searched his brain. He did mean to do that when he stopped her from going. But then she left him and he'd been too caught up in his own pain and…but she knew. She knows I mean to do that, right? I TOLD her that, right!?
Now Damian's anger was rising too. He had been cool with the Changeling because he thought Raven wouldn't want everyone being mad at him, given that she left so he could stay. "Dude, I'm already looking. But she could die today. Then what?"
The shapeshifter sniffled. "No, I…I…" I'll make a deal with Lucifer himself if I have to. I'll pull her out of there. "I'll help you. Please."
"Yeah, you should help Damian, actually." Richard said pointedly, regaining his cool. "But that still won't fix everything."
Garfield had forgotten the severity of things when Raven started hurting him. Now he remembered. He remembered her face when she realized he'd sabotaged her chance. He felt his knees weaken and his skin tingle. No wonder they hate me. I made her leave and now…shit, the stuff I said to her. I told her I was done feeling guilty. I'll never be done feeling guilty. I need to talk to her. He knew he was crying again because he could taste his tears. "But then...HOW do I fix it!?"
Nightwing looked at him without judgment or severity for the first time since Raven left. All his eyes carried was sadness. "I…I think you don't. I think…you'll just have to live with this."
That moment changed things entirely. Garfield realized Dick was right. And then he realized he couldn't live with it. So he snapped. He started dating…a lot. He surrounded himself with distractions. Social events, sex, paparazzi, scandals, recreational drugs and rich and famous people. Anything that could numb the pain for a while. He was hot now, and he was exotic – whatever that meant. Everyone wanted him around, it made them feel interesting. Not to mention most people thought he and Raven broke up because she went villainous, and he was getting a lot of sympathy points.
A few weeks went by and the only reason he wasn't completely dysfunctional was because he knew he needed to keep it under control in order to continue being a Titan – and he definitely wanted that. They were worried, though. He could tell. Even Richard. Starfire and Cyborg were always asking him if he was okay. He lied and told them he would be.
"Hey, BB." Dick said softly when he found himself alone with the shapeshifter.
Garfield looked up in shock. Nightwing hadn't called him that in a while. "Yeah?"
"We need to talk about, uh…your coping mechanisms."
The Changeling grunted. "I'm sorry my training has been sloppy. I'll get better."
"No, that…you've been partying a lot."
"It's not because I'm happy, if that's what you think."
"That's not what I think. I think you finally realized she's not coming back and now you're trying to numb the pain."
Garfield chuckled bitterly. "You are smart."
"This isn't what I want-"
The trouble alarm went off, interrupting them. Nightwing glanced at it.
"It's her, isn't it?" The shapeshifter asked miserably, with his eyes closed.
"It's them, yes."
The Changeling leaned back on the couch, allowing his chest to ache. "Make sure she doesn't die, please."
Once the others left, his mind was flooded with thoughts of her. Siren Raven. She's all magnificent and sexy. She flirts with everyone. She does that to hurt me, but I deserve it. But maybe…I could at least kill Klarion. I don't think she loves him. No, she would be mad either way. Fuck, I want to see her so bad. But then…she's probably over me. She'll tell me that. She'll crush me. Last time I saw her I…but wait, that's good. If she's over me, I can't hurt her anymore. But…if she still cares…I could beg for forgiveness. She could be less angry now. She would sense I'm sincere. I could show her how sorry I am. Oh, wait! I could tell her I'm trying to find another way to save her soul! She needs to know that! I owe her that much, right? Garfield stood up decisively – and still slightly drunk.
Raven had been engaged. Even with all her allies, when the Titans got there in time, it was a bit of a struggle. The heroes avoided her at all costs, not only because they didn't want to fight her for personal reasons, but because when she did bend their will, they always lost. But that took concentration, and Wally was keeping her quite busy at the moment. Speedsters were tricky and he was quickly becoming the fastest of them. She kept having to summon powerful blasts of energy that sent anyone near her flying backwards, but he kept making her lose balance.
And then the empath sensed someone she hadn't sensed in a long time. He's here. She hadn't seen Garfield in weeks – ever since he asked her for his stuff back. She was glad at first, but then she missed him terribly – even this bitter, hurtful version of him. Kid Flash tackled her to the floor.
"Shit! Sorry, Rae, I thought you were gonna-ugh!" He fell when she phased through him.
Raven floated into the air again. "Stop apologizing. We're fighting."
And then Harley Quinn came out of nowhere, took advantage of his focus on Raven, hit him hard and laughed hysterically. The sorcerer frowned. Harley still puzzled her. She could be the sweetest, loveliest person one minute and a violent maniac the next. Her thing with Ivy had evolved too, but it was mostly sexual. Raven was probably more aware of their feelings for each other than they were, but she knew they cared. Still, when this blond girl got violent, it gave her chills. And right now she was about to break Wally's legs.
"Harley, I got this. Thanks. Go fight someone else." Raven said in a commanding voice.
Garfield could sniff her, but he hadn't found her yet. He was clumsily stumbling around the battlefield and half-heartedly taking down an enemy or two when Billy Numerous quickly surrounded him and started hitting him from every direction. He definitely held a grudge against the Changeling from their last encounter.
"Hey, Gizmo! Look who's back!" Billy shouted.
Gizmo aimed his very deadly weapon at Garfield and narrowed his eyes, grinning widely. "Ohh, sweet."
Shit, I'm gonna die. Maybe coming here wasn't a good idea. The Changeling wasn't on his best day and Gizmo had already fired. And then the most amazing thing happened. He didn't die. His heavy heart felt slightly lighter for the first time in months, because she was floating in front of him, making the blast turn into hundreds of tiny butterflies. She saved me. She cares.
Raven glared at Gizmo and it was enough to make him give her a quick, apologetic look and run. She turned to the shapeshifter. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
The empath did her best to ignore how much seeing him bruised hurt her. It looked like someone had beaten him up before she got there. It made her want to heal him really badly.
"You…you saved me." The Changeling whispered.
"Of course I did, you idiot." Raven frowned. "Did you forget how to fight or something?"
The shapeshifter chuckled sheepishly. "I…I just wanted to see you. I'm sorry about the last time I saw you. The stuff I said…"
She stared at him with an utterly incredulous look on her face. "Garfield, this isn't the best time. I'm sorry I didn't send you your stuff back, okay? I…I forgot."
"It's your stuff." He said urgently. She really kept them, Conner was right. His heart fluttered a little. "I'm sorry I asked for that."
Oh thank Azar, he's being kind. Raven knew she should go back to the fight, but she missed his kindness so much. She really wanted to relish in it. So, she folded her arms. "I thought I didn't deserve it."
Garfield held back tears. "You deserved better. I…I really didn't mean it. I was just angry."
"Because of Klarion. By what right? We were over." She was starting to get annoyed again. The nerve of this guy. Honestly.
The Changeling bit his lip. "I know, but…Klarion!? I mean, how can you like him? He imprisoned you to force you to be with him!"
"Yeah, well, so did you. At least he had the decency of not making me fall for him first."
Garfield took a literal step back and his breath caught in his throat. I…what? No, I…did I!?
Raven sighed when she sensed how shocked he was – though she could probably tell by the size of his eyes staring at her. "Gar, I can't protect you too much, most villains still hate me and they're just looking for weaknesses. So, just…try not to get killed, okay?"
His heart dared to soar for a moment. She called me she still likes me. I could change her mind. And…wait, not get killed. Don't let her leave!
"WAIT!" The shapeshifter yelled just when she was floating away.
Raven lowered herself to the ground again, rolling her eyes. "What now?"
"Your soul! I didn't…I mean, I don't…when I…you know." Garfield tripped over his words.
The empath frowned and spoke stoically. "Yes, I know you weren't thinking of my soul when you kept me in this shitty realm. And I know you're not okay with it. You probably told yourself you could find another way to spare me from eternal damnation."
His eyes widened again. How did she get THAT!? "I-I…yeah. I mean, no!"
"No?" Raven raised an eyebrow.
"No! I mean, yes!" The Changeling grunted. I'mnot doing this right.
"Garfield, I don't have time for this."
He inhaled deeply. "What I mean is I'll still find another way! I'll save your soul, I promise."
Raven sighed, looking absolutely unfazed. "Stop making promises you can't keep. Enjoy your life. Let me worry about my soul."
Why did that hurt so bad? I wish she'd just let me redeem. He opened his mouth to keep arguing, but she was already gone.
"Changeling!" Bumblebee shouted from where she was struggling against several villains. "Are you supposed to be here?"
The shapeshifter snapped out of it and looked around just in time to dodge a blast that would have caused serious damage. I'm going to die here. "As a matter of fact, I am not."
He turned into a falcon and flew out of there, thinking he really needed to get back in shape. At least I talked to her. And I apologized for that day. And she saved my life, so she still cares what happens to me…that's good.
Garfield continued using alcohol, sex, fame and all that to numb his pain. Starfire and Cyborg both tried talking to him about his bad habits, but he dismissed them and said he needed to process things his own way. The truth was the nights were just too difficult. He just missed her too much and he was just too angry with himself for hurting and losing her and with her for leaving him. He needed distractions. But he did get back in shape in record time. Richard went back to being hard on him, which the shapeshifter decided was better than pity.
"Can I go? I swear I'm doing better." The Changeling asked Nightwing expectantly the next time the trouble alarm went off for the Sirens.
Officially, he was still grounded. Bumblebee never told anyone she saw him that day.
Richard furrowed his brows and turned to the others, who smiled encouragingly. They thought being more part of the action would drive him away from his less appropriate, riskier distractions. Nightwing nodded. "Okay, fine. But…take it easy in there."
The shapeshifter grinned gratefully. "Totally! So, what are we doing?"
"Keeping them from stealing a magical artefact that could potentially summon unsettled spirits and make them do one's bidding." Dick stated intently.
Cyborg frowned. "Oh, that would be bad."
When they got to the collector's place, it was already a mess. The Sirens' not-so-small-anymore army was causing havoc as usual, but Garfield wasn't interested in them. He quickly identified her scent, turned into a cheetah and ran as fast as he could. There were several locked doors before he got to her, but he would quickly change into something miniscule to get through them. And there she was – chanting in Latin at a very old and rather ugly book.
Raven smirked and turned around. "I can sense you, you know?"
The Changeling turned human and his heart raced a little when he saw the expression on her face. It was wicked and playful. It really fit this whole new look she had going on – and it made him crave her terribly. He mimicked her smirk. "Sorry, love. I can't let you leave with that."
The empath smiled a small, mischievous, arrogant smile. "I told you not to call me that. And how are you planning to stop me?"
The shapeshifter changed into Krypto and flew past her with super-speed, hovering in the air between her and the book.
"Cute, but pointless." Raven folded her arms. Let's play with him a little.
His heart fluttered at her using the word cute and he turned human again. Jeez, get it together, Garfield. Focus. I mean…it WOULD be easier if she wasn't smiling at me like that.
"You know being alone with me is a bad idea, right? I can still stop you from shapeshifting. Or I could just bend your emotions, make you all…unresisting." The sorcerer nonchalantly examined her nails and smirked. She knew he was flustered. She missed making him blush. "In fact, I should probably just take you prisoner right now."
The Changeling wasn't sure if he was scared or turned on. Probably more turned on. He thought about appealing to her good will and their history and just asking her not to, and then he thought about flirting and telling her she never needed powers to do that. Either way, he realized trying to stop her alone wasn't going to work, so he reached for his communicator – which became encased in dark energy and flew to her hand. And then it rang.
"Changeling, get back here." Dick's urgent voice sounded clear in the room. "Also, have you seen Raven!? We have a problem."
"Nightwing, it's me." The empath frowned and spoke into the communicator as Garfield held his breath. "What's wrong?"
"Raven! Is Garfi-"
"He's here. He's fine."
"Okay, good. Listen, Batman just called. It's Braniac. He's back and he's much stronger. He took the Justice League by surprise and apparently he did a number on Superman. He's coming here next. They think he's coming for all of us."
Raven and the Changeling stared at each other worriedly. And then she decisively spoke into his communicator again. "We'll be right there. Do not harm my allies."
The shapeshifter was low-key freaking out. "Shit, Braniac!? And he took on Superman!?"
"Get out of my way; we're going to need that." The sorcerer said pointedly, walking towards the book she had been trying to steal.
The Changeling suspiciously narrowed his eyes, but decided to step aside and trust her. He didn't want another why did you point a gun at me situation. That look on her face was still giving him painfully vivid nightmares. Raven finished her incantation and the artefact flew to her hands – to its new owner. Her eyes sparkled as she ran her fingertips over the cover for a second, and then she teleported them both outside, where heroes and villains were still keeping each other busy.
Nightwing approached them. "Raven, I think we might have to w-"
"Work together on this one." The empath said plainly. "Yes, I think so too."
Dick nodded surely. She spoke inside her allies' heads while he spoke in the communicators and they called a ceasefire. Most people didn't really want to stop, so Raven stepped in and bent a few emotional states to her will. She had been a little tired since the Joker – everything was harder and she still had that awful nightmare every night. But she didn't let it show.
Richard cleared his throat and quickly explained the situation. "Now if you all don't mind, I think we should hide and strategize."
Nobody loved hearing it. They grunted and whined and complained, but ultimately, the heroes knew they could use the help and the villains mostly wanted to stay alive. Fighting each other right now would be stupid.
"We have a bunker." Raven said calmly.
Nightwing smiled slightly. "Perfect."
Don't expect big action scenes in the next one, it really won't be the focus hahaha. Also, things might start looking up real soon xD
You Should See Me in a Crown (Billie Eilish)