Scabior Goes To Mardi Gras
'Per'aps these muggles aren't so bad after all,' thought Scabior as he and Severus made their way to the third floor balcony of a tall building located in the heart of New Orleans. 'They sure know 'ow to throw a party. I'll give them tha."
Behind him Severus giggled and slumped against the wall. He'd been drinking since they got there, and by now he was so heavily intoxicated he could barely see straight let alone walk.
Scabior stopped and turned around, looking back at the figure of the dark man clinging to the railing of the staircase. He watched as Severus chuckled and slid into a sitting position on the stairs.
"Scabior..." Severus snickered. "You do realize that you have a red streak in your hair, don't you?"
The Snatcher sighed and rolled his eyes. He reached down and took hold of Severus by the wrist, pulling the younger wizard up onto his feet.
"You can't exactly 'old your liquor as well as I can," said Scabior, helping Severus to his feet. "Better watch it when we reach the top. I don't want any of the women running off because you get sick all over them."
"How did that get there?" Severus queried, staring cross-eyed at the crimson strands nestled in Scabior's dark brown tangled tresses. "Did you do that? It looks...it looks like it was put there by magic!"
"Come on, Severus," Scabior said, now practically dragging the drunken Death Eater up the stairs. "If we don't get a move on, there won't be many females left to throw these 'ere beaded necklaces to."
Scabior managed to bring Severus out onto the balcony with him. Below them were several hundred muggles, all drinking and dancing in the streets while loud music played. And mixed in with the festival goers were a few Death Eaters as well, including Lucius Malfoy who had decorated his Death Eater mask with rhinestones, brightly colored feathers and glitter. His mask now sparkled so much in the midday sun that he looked like one of those ridiculous Twilight vampires.
Reaching deep into the pockets of his worn and faded leather jacket, Scabior brought out several strands of beaded necklaces, ready to throw them to the drunken women in the crowd below.
"Up 'ere, ladies!" Scabior called out, waving the necklaces in the air. "Show me wha you got!"
In response to his calls several women lifted their tops, exposing themselves to him in return for the brightly colored beads which Scabior tossed to them.
This was too easy. Scabior couldn't believe that these muggle females were willing to show off private parts of their anatomy for a few cheap plastic trinkets. But then again he too had many beaded necklaces around his neck, hanging in layers and wrapped around the material of his plaid scarf.
Severus commented on this, saying that Scabior must have been flashing his bits all over town in order to have accumulated such a large amount of necklaces. Which was exactly what Scabior had been doing, along with certain other illicit activities.
"Lady, those things real or did you 'ave to pay to get 'em to point tha way?" Scabior asked as yet another woman flashed him.
"What do you mean 'are those things real?'" Severus drawled in a drunken slur, hanging onto the banister for support as he struggled to remain standing. "How could they not be real, Scabior?"
"I once 'eard about these...er, silicorn implants I think they call them," Scabior replied thoughtfully. "Muggle females put 'em in their breasts to make them bigger. They can't enlarge things with magic like we can. So I guess they just fill themselves full of silicorn instead."
Severus stared at Scabior, his mouth hanging open in dumbfounded shock. He then burst into a hysterical fit of laughter, doubling over with one hand on the banister, laughing so hard his sides hurt.
Scabior shrugged and continued throwing necklaces to the women in the crowd.
There was a disturbance in the crowd as Lord Voldemort pushed and shoved his way through the gathering of people, making his way towards the balcony Scabior and Severus were on.
"No fair!" the Dark Lord whined, pouting like a spoiled child. "I want some of those pretty necklaces too! How dare you deny your lord and master what is rightfully mine?!"
"These aren't for you," said Scabior. "These are only for attractive young ladies with nice boobs."
"Oh yeah? Well how about this!" And with that Voldemort yanked his robes up above his waist, revealing his nether region to Scabior, Severus and everyone in the crowd...and of course he wasn't wearing any underwear on this particular morning.
Needless to say, Scabior was repulsed and disgusted by the hideous sight that met his eyes.
"Dear Merlin, put tha away before I vomit!" Scabior cried, quickly turning away and shielding his eyes with his hands. But for Severus it was already too late. He was so sickened by the sight of the Dark Lord's privates that he promptly vomited over the side of the banister.
Bellatrix, who had chosen that moment to poke her head out a nearby window so she could get a better look at her beloved Dark Lord's man parts, was hit square on the head with the remains of Severus' breakfast.
When Scabior looked down and caught sight of Bellatrix covered in vomit, he immediately began to laugh. He then decided that, aside from the Dark Lord exposing himself in front of everyone, it had been a rather fun and interesting day.