Werewolf Legends

Written for Lamia of the Dark's Return of the Daily Weird Prompt Thing

Prompt - butts

After his last attempt to win Bellatrix's heart had failed miserably, Greyback decided that the only thing to do was to pick himself up, dust himself off, and try again. There was just one problem - Greyback was still dead set on using body parts other than his heart to express his love for her.

"I love you with all my butt," he told her. "I would say heart, but my butt is bigger."

He got another slap in the face for that.

"What do you know about romance anyway?" Bella snapped. "You're such a disgusting dog. You don't know the first thing about women, or how to behave around them."

"That isn't true," said Greyback, rubbing the sore spot on his cheek where she had slapped him. "I know that sticking my nose into someone's crotch is considered an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. And I know that I'm not to bring a woman home from a date then immediately drag my butt across the carpet of her living room floor."

"What is it with you and butts?" Bella asked. "Do all werewolves have a butt fetish?"

Now Greyback looked offended. "I'll have you know that sniffing butts is a social custom among my people that is used to greet other werewolves. It is similar to the human exchange of business cards."

"That is sickening. Have you nothing better to do with your time then run around jamming your nose up other people's butts?"

Greyback shook his head. "Clearly you know nothing about the legends of my people," he said, sounding very serious about the whole matter.

"Then enlighten me," said Bellatrix. "Why do werewolves sniff people's butts?"

"It all began many moons ago," said Greyback, "when all the werewolves were invited to a party. When they arrived at the party, they were required to leave their butts at the door. All the werewolves hung them on hooks by the door.

"The party went on and the werewolves were having a great time. All of a sudden a fire broke out. The werewolves raced to the door and grabbed whichever butt they could grab first.

"That is why to this very day, in an effort to find their own butt, werewolves sniff each other's butts when they first meet each other."

Bellatrix stared at him, her mouth hanging open in shock.

"You know what?" said Greyback. "Maybe you aren't the right woman for me after all. If you don't even have basic knowledge of my kind and why we do the things we do, then I don't think this is going to work for us."