Still working my way through the transcripts of V9 and I am so full of feelings about it. For all the things I have gripes about, Yang's reaction to what essentially boils down to Ruby attempting suicide and the aftermath straight up kills me (in a good way) so naturally I'm writing about it. Obviously spoilers ahead, as well as discussion of dark themes such as suicide and self harm. Title from the 21 pilots song. Enjoy!
For all that Yang had worried about her sister over the years, she'd never once been worried that her sister would hurt herself.
When they were younger, she'd worried about bullies and other kids being jerks to Ruby at school. As they'd gotten older and started training to be huntresses, she'd started to worry about her sister getting hurt while fighting Grimm.
Most of the time, Yang would be able to do something to make sure that her sister was safe, whether it was sticking up for Ruby and beating up the bullies or helping her sister train so that she was stronger and faster than any monster she'd have to fight. She's always been the type to take action in any situation. Sitting around waiting and worrying isn't her style.
That year when Ruby was traveling to Haven, with no way of knowing what was happening to her sister or if she was okay, was definitely one of the hardest of Yang's life. Between her own struggles to cope and move on after the fall of Beacon and her worries about Ruby, it was a time when she found herself at a loss for what to do next. The relief at being reunited with her sister, of being able to protect Ruby from whatever might try to harm her, had been overwhelming.
Even then, when she hadn't been there to keep her sister safe, Yang had never been worried that her sister would try to hurt herself. Of all the things that could have happened to Ruby while they'd been separated, that idea had never crossed her mind.
Once they return from the Ever After, though, that's no longer the case. She'd seen the despair and emptiness that Ruby had been feeling. Yang had only been able to watch as her sister drank the tea that could erase her from existence.
Ruby had wanted that. Even if she'd come out of it in the end, it doesn't change the fact that her sister had, even briefly, wanted to end her life. And there would have been nothing Yang could have done about it.
She's haunted by it, this new fear of losing Ruby to herself. Yang still remembers the horror she'd felt upon realizing what happened to her sister, and the terror of being unable to help her or do anything, being forced to just wait and watch and hope that Ruby would pull through on her own. Her nightmares are full of bad what-ifs, of her sister being gone forever or transforming into some kind of horrible monster.
The idea of a world without Ruby in it isn't something Yang can bear to think about.
Something like that isn't something that just builds up overnight. Ruby had to have been feeling like that for a while. And Yang had missed it, too caught up in her own problems to see what was happening to her sister right in front of her.
Ruby had always been so much stronger than her, after all. Her sister had always been so resilient, Yang took her strength for granted. But after everything that's happened, it shouldn't be that surprising that Ruby had been worn down.
These days, Yang isn't taking anything for granted. She keeps a close eye on her sister, to the point where Ruby complains about her hovering and mother henning. Yang is just happy that her sister is here to complain about being looked after.
Ruby seems to be doing better these days. The light is back in her sister's eyes, and Ruby seems determined to keep moving forward, despite all the obstacles in her path. Her friends occasionally have to remind her to take breaks for things like food and sleep, but the nightmares that have tormented her sister for so long seem to have eased a bit.
When Yang wakes from her own nightmares of a world without Ruby, she at least can go sit with her sister and listen to the sound of her even breathing. Ruby is still there. And Yang intends to keep it that way.
"Yang?" Her sister's quiet voice startles her slightly. "Something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," she reassures Ruby, smiling slightly until her sister's eyes fall closed again. "Go back to sleep."
"'s cold," Ruby mumbles, tugging at the blanket next to Yang. It's the same way that her sister has asked to cuddle with Yang since they were little. Yang's smile widens.
Ruby curls into her side as soon as Yang has gotten settled under the covers. She wraps an arm around her sister's shoulders and pulls her close. Ruby's breath is warm against her skin, and her pulse beats steadily under Yang's fingertips.
Her sister is alive. Yang will keep anything from harming Ruby so long as she's around. Even if sometimes the greatest threat to her sister is Ruby herself.
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