The Art Of Being Drunk
A/N: The idea for this came to me during a trip to the local campground. I saw a picnic table that had bottle caps hammered into the sides of the table. It created a nice little design and was the inspiration for this story.
Most people were well aware of the fact that Scabior had a drinking problem. Some joked about it and said that he could make a ton of gold just by recycling the empty bottles in his bedroom.
"He'd be richer than Lucius!" said Greyback.
But even though he had no desire to recycle them, Greyback's joke about being richer than Lucius gave him an idea. It inspired him to take the bottles and recycle the caps. Not the glass, just the caps. Because Scabior was drunk and it sounded like a good idea to use them to make art.
Scabior gathered the bottle caps and placed them in a large sack. He then swung the sack over his shoulder Santa Claus style and hauled it into the kitchen. When he reached the kitchen he pulled out a chair and collapsed into his seat, his vision blurry as he sat there staring at the table. Something about the furniture seemed rather amusing. So amusing that he laughed until he slid out of his seat and onto the floor.
He was asleep five minutes later, using the bag of bottle caps as a pillow. He awoke to find himself staring at the underside of the table, and for a moment he forgot how he'd gotten there.
The head Snatcher crawled out from the under the table, the bag of bottle caps clinking and rustling as he slinked across the floor. Some of the bottle caps spilled out onto the floor when he opened the bag and began using a sticking charm to fix them to the rim of the table. It was quite a sight seeing the inebriated Snatcher waving his wand like he was conducting an orchestra, the bottle caps soaring through the air as they stuck themselves to the table. But it didn't stop there. Scabior wanted something more than just a little decoration on the side. He wanted to create a full blown masterpiece.
When he was finished making his "masterpiece", Scabior called Greyback over to look at his art.
The werewolf's mouth hit the floor when Scabior removed the table cloth, revealing the surface of the table that was studded with bottle caps.
Scabior hiccupped and leaned against the table, a simpering smile on his face as the werewolf examined the hundreds of bottle caps that covered the furniture. "So whaddaya think?" he slurred. "Looks pretty nice, doesn't it?" Scabior ran a callused palm over the surface of the table. "Yeah, I reckon I'll do the rest of the 'ouse next. Cover the chairs, the couch, the desk in my bedroom - "
"How long did it take you to do this?" asked Greyback.
"Wha? Oh, it was a weekend project." Scabior grinned, a lock of his red streaked hair falling into his face as he leaned forward and said, "Would you believe it took me tha long to collect enough bottle caps for this 'ere project?" He said this in a very serious tone, which wasn't what Greyback expected from someone who had been drinking all weekend.
Greyback blinked and stared at him in disbelief. "You do know how long a weekend is, right?"
Scabior nodded. "Yep." He swayed slightly and held up four fingers. "Two days. Count 'em. One. Two."
"And you did this in two days?"
"Tha's right."
The werewolf sighed heavily. He looked at the table and said, "We need to find you a better hobby."