A Shocking Turn Of Events
Written for The Halloween Character Challenge
Prompt - bat/write about Severus Snape
Severus swerved to avoid the annoying seer who, for the past twenty minutes, had been following him around the castle, rambling about this and that as well as her usual doomsday predictions.
"Sybill, please, I have business to attend to," he said, pushing past her and heading for the staircase. "Those assignments aren't going to grade themselves. And I have no desire to be awake at midnight, hunched over my desk with a quill in hand, when I could be relaxing with a good book and a cup of tea."
"Ah, but Severus wait!" Trelawney ran ahead of him, her arms out at her sides to block his path. "That's when it starts, Severus. Tonight, at the stroke of midnight, the alignment of Jupiter will shift slightly, placing it on the cusp of Scorpio for the next twenty-one days."
"Really?" drawled Severus, raising an eyebrow at her ridiculous statement. His patience was wearing thin, and although he was no seer, Severus had a feeling she was going to fall victim to a most unpleasant fate if she didn't remove herself from his presence.
"Yes, Severus." She paused to push her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "And that is of the utmost importance because it means you're headed into a wonderful, more content, fortunate year because lucky Jupiter is about to move into your sign. But today Jupiter is provoked by the electricity of Uranus! This means sudden good fortune might come your way, and that you should be receptive to whatever occurs."
His brain shut down somewhere during her long winded speech, tuning out her incessant noise as his gaze drifted towards the statue in the corner. All he heard was "provoked by the the electricity of Uranus" before his mind began to wander.
'That's probably what happened to make her hair frizzy,' he thought. 'She must have received an electric shock during her youth, which caused her hair to explode like an overinflated pygmy puff. That would also explain her lack of brain cells.'
"Severus, are you listening to me?" Trelawney took a step forward, her hands clasped in front of her with her many shawls trailing out behind her on the floor.
Severus frowned, his temper flaring once he realized she was still there. "Yes, the electricity of Uranus," he muttered. He then placed his hand down the back of his pants, scratching his backside through his underwear to generate static electricity. When he was sure he'd gathered enough energy, he removed his hand, tapped her on the tip of her nose and jolted her off her feet.
Trelawney was sent airborne, with sparks erupting like the Weasley twins' fireworks as she soared through the air. She struck the ground at the bottom of the staircase, her many shawls serving as a cushion to help break her fall.
A moment passed before she began to stir, her wide eyes peering out from beneath a mountain of fabric and strands of beads. She saw Severus standing on the stairs, grinning as he looked down at her.
"How's that for the electricity of Uranus?" he said with a smirk. He then turned and left her lying on the floor, his cloak billowing out behind him as he went.