A Little Bundle Of Hell 2
Written for the Forum-Inspired Fics event.
A/N: This is another example of the type of nonsense my muse spews out at four in the morning. I don't even know at this point, so don't ask.
Alecto was sleeping soundly in her rice nest when Maisie brought the baby Dementor inside. She shifted slightly, hearing her brother's tongue slap against the hardwood floor as they crossed the threshold, then opened one eye and saw him rolling up the lengthy appendage.
"No," she murmured in her drowsy state of half-sleep. "Alecto cold. Need much warmth."
The next thing he knew, Alecto had seized his tongue and draped it over her like a warm, wet blanket.
"Les, this is Alecto," said Maisie, speaking calmly as though using her boyfriend's tongue as a blanket was an every day occurrence. "She has a fondness for rice and all things shiny."
"Shiny?" the infant burbled, turning her head and looking up at Maisie. She remembered seeing something shiny drifting on the wind, its silver foil glinting in the moonlight. It was pretty, like a piece of starlight fallen to earth. The thought made her squirm with excitement. "Shiny!" squeaked the Dementor. "Shiny, shiny, shiny!"
Amycus looked at Maisie with concern, his tongue stretched across the living room floor with Alecto snuggling it in her sleep. The last thing they needed was competition over shinies.
"Oh, you like shiny things, too?" cooed Maisie, lifting the baby up and tossing her into the air. The Dementor squealed with delight as she drifted like a falling leaf into Maisie's arms. "Well, perhaps I could show you Alecto's shiny collection." She glanced at her adopted daughter. "She's asleep right now, so I don't think she'll mind. But you have to promise not to touch anything."
"No touchie!" squeaked the Dementor.
That was good enough for Maisie, who whisked the infant upstairs and into Alecto's bedroom.
.oOo.
The walls in Alecto's room were covered with silver wallpaper, her shelves lined with glittering trophies known as "Muggle shiny things". There were hundreds of them, each one just as radiant as the next. It was the Muggle shiny things that drew Les' attention, and she launched herself through the air, sucking up nearly a dozen of them before Maisie caught her and managed to pry the Dementor's lips off the shiny objects.
But it didn't stop there. Les screeched and whined, sounding very much like a bathtub full of cats gargling razor blades. Maisie didn't know that Dementors were capable of making such hideous noise. She wondered briefly whether or not the child was part banshee before releasing the infant and clapping her hands over her ears.
Once freed, the baby headed straight for the wallpaper, her lightweight form hitting the shiny surface with a splat. She landed spread eagle on the bedroom wall, looking for all the world like one of those suction cup animals you see in the back of Muggle vehicles, and immediately started sucking.
She sucked up the wallpaper like spaghetti, inhaling every last shred of the shiny substance. Maisie was left chasing the last strand of glittery paper, her fingers closing around the paper just moments before it slid from her grasp and disappeared into the Dementor's cavernous mouth.
They looked at each other, silence stretching between them as Maisie's eyes widened in horror. The Dementor smiled sweetly, a sliver of shiny paper dangling from the corner of her mouth. Then, after all was quiet for a full twenty seconds, the infant unleashed a tremendous belch, sending the scrap of wallpaper sailing across the room.
"'Excuse me." Les giggled, lifting a hand and covering her mouth.
"No," Maisie murmured, watching as the last piece of wallpaper fluttered across the room and settled in the corner. She was just getting to her feet when the sound of footsteps reached her ears, and she turned to see Amycus standing in the door. "Amycus, look what she's done!" Maisie exclaimed, pointing a finger at Les. "This little demon inhaled all of Alecto's shiny wallpaper."
"It's not surprising," said Amycus thoughtfully, rubbing his chin with his tongue. "Young Dementors often go through a phase known as 'soul searching', similar to when human infants put everything in their mouth in an effort to explore the world around them. This typically results in them sucking up anything and everything within a five mile radius."
Maisie gaped at him. "And you couldn't have told me about this before I brought her inside?!"
Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of harsh wails coming from downstairs, causing Amycus to start at the sound of his sister's tear filled cries.
"Oh dear," muttered Amycus, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose with his tongue. "It appears as though my sister is awake. I tried giving her a hot water bottle wrapped in a moist towelette as a substitute for my tongue, though I don't think it had the calming effect I had hoped for."
Maisie huffed out an irritated sigh, picked up the baby Dementor and thrust the infant at Amycus. "Watch her for a minute. I need to send an urgent message to Barty, letting him know we've got a situation on our hands."
.oOo.
Moments later the handsome, young Death Eater was sliding from the fireplace, his hair and jacket covered in soot. Barty Crouch Jr. stood gracefully and brushed the ash from his hair, licking his lips as he observed the scene before him.
Maisie was sitting in the chair by the fireplace with Alecto in her lap, rocking the Death Eater while simultaneously stroking her hair. Amycus, who was standing next to the fireplace with his arms crossed over his chest, had a death grip on the squirming Dementor with his caterpillar tongue, preventing her from going on another sucking spree.
"Barty," he said around the wet, muscular organ dangling from the corner of his mouth. "We had an unfortunate encounter with a baby Dementor, resulting in the loss of several Muggle shinies along with my sister's wallpaper. We need you to purchase some more shiny wallpaper while we attempt to deal with the situation. Swiping a few shinies to replace the ones she lost would also be appreciated," he added as an afterthought.
Barty lowered his gaze, observing the Dementor who, upon the arrival of Crouch's son, had gone limp in Amycus' embrace, her eyes wide and staring. "What? You mean this little thing?" Barty glanced around the room, looking from Maisie to Amycus before returning to the Dementor. "She looks rather harmless to me."
"She may look harmless, but she is an absolute nightmare," Amycus insisted.
"Well, alright then." Barty turned and was halfway across the living room when the Dementor shot out of the drippy coils that held her prisoner, pounced on the unfortunate Death Eater and began sucking on his left buttock. "What?!" Barty shrieked, turning in circles in an attempt to see what had latched onto his rear. "Get this thing off me!" He then began an odd, on the spot jig, leaping and prancing while trying to pull the offending creature off his behind.
"Hmm, yes, more soul searching, I see," Amycus said casually. "Looks like she's your problem now. Though I daresay she'll suck the pants off your rear end if you don't detach her quickly, Barty."
Alecto leaned forward and started to laugh, her shiny wallpaper temporarily forgotten as Barty continued to struggle with the Dementor. Maisie couldn't help but join in, their laughter mingling with the sound of Barty's horrified screams. Little did they know this tiny Dementor had fallen for Crouch's son, and that one day the happy couple would be brought together in wedded bliss. But that, my friends, is a story for another day.