Mother apparently trusted us well enough to let us handle some of the calls on our own, which is why Will and I were currently ensconced in the carriage as it rocked towards the main towns of Newport. Will looked out the window, taking in the sunny beach that was currently being ignored in favor of tea with the Vanderbilts. They were one of the families with not only a massive house, but a massive set of grounds that we were currently turning away from the beach for. Will watched as the massive iron gate was swiftly opened by two uniformed guards, the carriage grinding through a gravel drive as we moved into the shaded tunnel of trees that led to their house. I felt his hand grip mine tightly, "Ana, what is this place? It feels like we're going to a palace."

"This is Newport, and we essentially are." I squeezed his hand back, "You don't have to watch out the whole time, you know."

"What else could I do? It's all so much."

"You could kiss me, Will. We've got at least ten minutes before we reach the house." I giggled as he immediately turned, whipping his head around so quickly I thought he must have hurt himself. He quickly proved he hadn't though, pressing his lips to mine roughly and wrapping his hands around my shoulders. God, there was nothing like when he would groan into my mouth, when I could feel his tongue stroke over mine. I almost melted against him, wishing that we had time for more than just a kiss. I had tried to touch myself after the day where I had pleasured him, but my monthly had arrived and my plans were ruined.

Instead I had spent that night in a hot bath, cursing Eve for giving me this monthly pain. To say that Will was concerned when I had sent down word the next morning that I was not feeling well was an understatement. He actually came into my room himself, despite Peggy's, and Mother's, insistence that it was improper for him to enter the room of an ill lady. They decided they could at least stand in the door to ensure he was respectable. I had almost wept when he had knelt by my bed, placing his hand on my forehead to see if I had a fever. I had sniffed, "Will, it's nothing."

"Ana, you're flushed. Let me get you something, or call a doctor. It must have been something you ate last night." He shifted himself to sit on the bed, and I heard Mother gasp at his breach of propriety. "Ana, please, let me get the doctor from Newport. I'm sure there's an auto he can take, he can be here soon. I can't have you sick."

I could see Peggy covering her mouth, and Mother had a rather large grin on her face. "Will, really. I'll be fine."

"Ana, if there's a chance that you might be sick, I am getting a doctor." He took my hands, leaning down. His eyes were rather wild, and I could hear a break in his voice. "If you're sick, I am getting a doctor. I'm not losing you like I did Ada."

I felt my own voice break, "Oh, oh W-Will." I sobbed, dropping my face down to his hands. I couldn't stop myself from kissing them as I did, even as I felt the tears come. He was so kind, and he obviously cared so much. It was just so sweet of him, and I didn't deserve to have him here, his arms around me as he gently rocked me back and forth.

I could hear the confusion in his voice, "Ana, Ana why are you crying? Let me call for the doctor, everything will be alright."

"Mr. Murdoch," Mother sounded closer now, and I felt her hand on my back alongside Will's. "This is simply women's trouble. She will be alright in a few days, the first ones are the worst for her."

His hands stilled, "Ah, oh. Is, is there anything I can do?" He gave my shoulder's a squeeze, pressing a kiss to my head that was still bent over his hands. "Would you like some tea, Ana? Or perhaps I could read to you?" I started crying even harder at that, just the thought of him willing to be around me when I was like this was just overwhelming. I felt his arms slide around me, "Ana, there's no need to cry, love."

"You're j-just so nice." I blubbered, sitting up so I could throw my arms around him and press my face to where his neck met his shoulder. "And I've been s-so horrible. I know you hated the party."

"I loved the party, Ana." He almost chuckled, "I wish I had been able to spend more of it with you, though." I whined into his shoulder, I should have stopped all the other girls from taking him away from me. I shouldn't have danced with all those other men. I felt his shoulder shift under me, "Ah, Mrs. Dalian, should I go get some tea?"

"I think that would be for the best, Mr. Murdoch." Mother replied, taking his place on the bed as he stood. I let her wrap me up, hearing her shush me and press me to her breast. "Sweetheart, you need to breathe." I gasped in a breath, and she nodded. "Just like that. Keep breathing, and no more crying. I can have Peggy stay up here, if having Mr. Murdoch will help."

"I know he hated the party, no matter what he says. And he probably hates me like this." I couldn't stop crying at that point, "Father hated me when I was like this too, I know he did."

"Your father had no sisters and barely knew what a monthly was when he married me." Mother shook her head, "He didn't hate you when you had your monthly, he just didn't know what to do so he avoided doing anything." I heard her sigh, "Peggy, you had best tell Mr. Murdoch to bring some chocolate up with the tea." With a rustle of skirts Peggy had left, and Mother had kept me company until Will had returned with a tea service and a bar of chocolate.

He had set the chocolate and a cup of tea on the nightstand, gone out briefly, and returned with a chair and a book in his hands. "I thought you might like some Verne? I managed to find Journey to the Center of the Earth."

That set off a fresh round of crying, and Mother passed the bar of chocolate over to me. It at least kept me from sobbing loudly as I nibbled on it, and I heard her speak to Will. "This is very kind of you, Mr. Murdoch. She should be better within a day or two, Peggy will stay here with you until you decide to leave."

"I'll stay until she's asleep." Will had smiled, and I bit harder into the chocolate bar to keep from gasping out another sob. He was so handsome, and I was disgusting like this, dirty and flushed from crying, and I knew my hair was a mess. I couldn't even wear one of my nice nightgowns in case the cloth I was wearing slipped. I could tell he was holding himself back from making his snide comments as he read, and I tried to lose myself in his voice. I swear, I had fallen asleep holding his hand. He even came back up when Peggy brought up a large bowl of chicken soup for dinner, reading to me again. The next day was better, although the pain was worse so I spent most of it huddled around a hot water bottle.

Will had set off another round of crying when he brought the book again and refilled the bottle, although it was much lighter. He brushed my hair aside, "Ana, darling, you know I loved the party. I've never hated anything you've done for me."

"Will," I grunted, looking up at him. "I don't care about that right now, it just hurts so much."

"Do you want me to read?"

I turned over, showing him my back. "Could you just rub my back for me?"

"Miss Anastasia!" Peggy snapped from her post in the corner, "I can do that. It's not for him to do, Mr. Murdoch, please read while I handle it." Will seemed to find it very funny how Peggy would gripe at me as she rubbed my back, reminding me that I had been dealing with this for years and it was just as bad every month, so she could not understand how I let it affect me so every time. I did not curb my tongue as I complained about everything; the pain, the utter boredom of being confined to bed because of it, Peggy's lecture. I did see Will smiling as he read, and he left with after lunch with a kiss. By dinner time I was at least able to get out of bed and throw on a tea gown to join everyone downstairs, even if I couldn't stay up for a nightcap.

The next three days had been more tolerable, and I was thankful my monthly had ended the morning that Will and I were going to the Vanderbilts. It meant that I could wear a nice dress, that was currently wrinkling slightly under Will's hands as he wrapped his hands around my waist. I gently pushed on his shoulders, "Will, my dress. And we're getting close to the house."

He groaned, but released me and returned to his seat. "God Ana, do we have to pay all these calls? Your mother was out practically every day while you were," He flushed a bit. "Indisposed. Isn't the enough?"

"Will, we do have to." I took his hand and gently rubbed my fingers over the back of it. "You'll like the Vanderbilts, trust me. I was very close with their daughter before," I closed my eyes briefly, "Before Mother and I had more urgent things to occupy us." Any chance to continue the conversation was cut off as the coach rolled to a stop and the footman opened the door for Will, who handed me out onto the marble stairway that led to the foyer. Mrs. Vanderbilt and her family were waiting for us in a reception room, reached only after a maid had led us through immense hallways hung with priceless art and gilding enough to blind one. I gave them a smile as I nodded to them, "Mr. Vanderbilt, Mrs. Vanderbilt, Liz, thank you for inviting us. It's been far too long."

"Indeed it has, Anastasia!" A voice rang out from the hallway, and in stepped a very handsome young man with curled brown hair and a pair of deep brown eyes. He clicked his heels together and gave a very deep bow, a wry grin on his face as he rose. "If you're forgetting me, that is."

I felt a blush rise to my cheeks, "Oscar, I had thought you were still in Europe."

"I finished my term at Cambridge, and I wanted nothing more than to come back home." He stepped up, lifting my hand and kissing it briefly. "Except to see you again, after four years away. I am awfully sorry about your father, and that I missed your party." He turned to Will, who was staring at him with what I hoped was interest and not hostility. "You must be Mr. Murdoch, right?"

"Yes," Will held out his hand stiffly, "I am."

Oscar shook it heartily, "Well, congratulations then. If I wasn't going to be the one to get her, well, I'm glad that you did." Oscar quickly turned to his parents, speaking briefly to them before spinning back to us. "Father has agreed, since you're a sailor Mr. Murdoch we would love your opinion on our yacht. We're hoping to make a good showing at the races this year, although we were embarrassed at Cowes. Our thought was you would enjoy that while the ladies take their tea, and if you need more temptation Father does have a fine collection of cigars onboard."

Will glanced aside to me, only relaxing when I nodded. "That does sound pleasant, Mr. Vanderbilt."

"Oscar, please Mr. Murdoch." I watched Oscar's mouth quirk up, "And I should like to call you William, if you will allow it." Will nodded, and gave my hand a final squeeze before following the other men outside. Left with the feminine half of the family, I was quickly ushered off into a reception room clearly designed for the ladies and their visitors. Pale pinks and green dominated, complimenting the china service that had been set out and was overflowing with light sandwiches and sweets.

Mrs. Vanderbilt poured, a delicate silver spoon stirring the tea she handed to me. "I hope your William will forgive Oscar, you know how much of a flirt he is."

"I'm sure he will." I smiled, ducking my head. God, it had been so long since I had seen Oscar. He'd been the first to dance with me at my debut, and had sent flowers every day for a month after. Mother had been quite pleased when he had started calling during our receiving hours, and even more pleased when he had begun to invite me on carriage rides after a few years of friendship. While I had never kissed Oscar, I had thought about it. A lot. But then he had told me about his education, that he would be attending Cambridge and would be gone. He had asked me to wait for him, and I had only nodded at that, not trusting myself to speak. He had sent letters for the first year, asking after my health and begging for any gossip because he was terribly bored at school.

God, Will might have been on the ship carrying those letters.

I sipped my tea, caught up in my thoughts. "I hope Oscar wasn't too upset when I stopped writing, everything was just so busy I could hardly find the time." Truth be told I'd stopped writing after the incident at the elder Mr. Vanderbilt's party, I was too frightened of anything to even continue writing to a man. And then Father, keeping up my correspondence had been the least of my worries.

Liz tucked a chestnut curl behind her ear, her blue eyes bright. "He was devastated, as was I." She screwed her mouth up, "You cut us off, Anastasia."

"You are right," I ducked my head, feeling like I'd been punched. "And I am so sorry for it. You were always such a good friend, and Oscar was, well, Oscar was too. I hope you can forgive me."

Her soft hand wrapped around mine, gently squeezing. "You invited us to your engagement party, that counted for something. But why did you avoid us for so long? That's all I want to know."

I returned her squeeze, "And that's the one thing I can't tell you." I caught her eye, giving her a small smile. "But trust me, it was nothing that you or your family did. You have always been good to me."

"No more secrets." Mrs. Vanderbilt intoned from her seat, smiling proudly at us. "At least between us girls. The boys on the other hand," She giggled. "Now, onto the latest news. Did you hear about Zachary and his mother at the regatta in Kiel?" Mrs. Vanderbilt raised her eyebrows over her teacup, "They spoke to the Kaiser himself!"

"Mama, do we have to discuss them?" Liz rolled her eyes at her mother.

"Oh, but apparently Zachary danced the night away with a duchess! There's talk that he might be moving permanently to Berlin, that he might take up a post in the German government."

I caught Liz's eye, giving her a grin. "I hope he gets the position, it sounds as if Berlin would suit him quite well."

"And keep him away from New York." Liz chuckled, "I find that thought very appealing, Anastasia."

"It is, isn't it?"

Mrs. Vanderbilt fluttered her hands, clearly upset by the thought of losing the scion of a successful family as a guest at her parties. "Oh, but surely he'll come back. Won't he?" Liz and I had been annoyed by Zachary for years, but she didn't know the depth that he'd sunk to. She didn't need to, it was enough to have someone to bad mouth him to without having to relive what happened.

"Maybe the Kaiser was offering him a captaincy in his navy." Liz drawled, sipping her tea.

I could hardly hide my grin at the thought, "That would keep him from New York for quite a long time." Zachary hardly knew the bow from the stern, the thought of him being screamed at in German by an admiral was quite a funny visual. I made a note to tell Will about it later, he'd enjoy it.

"My word, you two, such hostility!" Mrs. Vanderbilt clucked her tongue, "Perhaps we should turn to happier matters. Have you picked a date for your wedding, dear?"

Unwilling to tell Mrs. Vanderbilt that the thought of never seeing Zachary again was an extremely happy matter to me, I sighed. "We are thinking summer, early June possibly. I'm afraid we haven't settled on the exact day."

"What about the first?" Liz said, rising to go look at a desk on the side of the room. She flipped through a calendar, pointing to it. "It is a Sunday, and wouldn't it be wonderful to have it on a just before everyone comes up to Newport? You could come meet us all as Mrs. Murdoch!" Liz actually clapped her hands, "And you would be the first wedding of the summer."

"That does sound nice." I mused, "I'll ask Will. And Mother, she is already pushing me to head back to New York to get started on the dress within the next month."

"Well, she must have something in mind." Mrs. Vanderbilt gave a wicked little smile, "You should indulge her then." I knew that flash in her eye, Mother must have told her about whatever plans she had. And here I was, completely in the dark. I was about ready to interrogate her when she suddenly rose, "Richard! What have I told you about bringing those dreadful things in here?"

Her husband gave a last puff on the stub of his cigar, "No need to worry dearest, it's all out."

"It wasn't when you walked in," She fumed, but seemed mollified when her husband pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Oh, you just do it to anger me. I know it."

Oscar swanned in behind his father, greeting all of us ladies with a kiss on the cheek. I was the only one whose hand he grasped though, and he gave it a squeeze as he bent and kissed my other cheek. "Your Mr. Murdoch seems to think we'll set the pace at the races this year."

"Oh, that's, that's wonderful." I muttered, trying to avoid looking at his eyes. I cast about the room for something, something to distract me from the fact that Oscar had taken up a place next to me. My other side was quickly occupied by Will, who quickly took my hand in a not so gentle grip. I looked at him, his eyes rather dark at the moment. "Do you really think they have a shot, Will?"

"The Gentilia has good lines, with enough canvas she'll leave the others far behind." Will said as he pulled my hand to him, "You should be quite proud of her, Mr. Vanderbilt."

"I paid enough for her!" Mr. Vanderbilt laughed loudly from the chaise where he was sat with his wife, "Although I'm afraid I'll be entrusting her to Oscar this year, it's about time he made his showing."

"I'll be glad to handle her for you Father," Oscar grinned, turning to me. "I'll be even gladder if you'll join us onboard during the races."

"We have our own yacht." Will fairly growled at him, and I gave his hand a squeeze. Jealousy was not something I wanted to see in him, it was almost bordering on rudeness the way he was glaring at Oscar. What had gotten into him? Surely Oscar hadn't engendered such a rage in Will after only spending an hour or two looking at a ship.

"Oh yes, the Dependable is a fine yacht, but she won't be in the races for the biggest ships. Not like ours." Oscar waved away his comment, "Please Anastasia, tell me that you'll join us. It's been so long, you remember the year that we watched Mr. Astor swear after we overtook him?"

"I will think on it Oscar," I demurred, looking away. "But we might be able to."

"I shall pray for it." Oscar lifted my other hand, pressing his lips to it. "Every night."

Just by the pressure of Will's hand on mine I could tell that lingering would not bring anything good, so I quickly rose and thanked our hosts. Liz begged to be allowed to come calling, and Oscar begged me for a dance at the Astor's party. I agreed to both, even though I Will almost crushed my hand in his when I did. I waited until we were back in the carriage before I turned to him, "What is your problem with Oscar?"

He flushed, his voice harsh. "He touches you too much, and he wants to take liberties. I can see it in him."

"Will, I've known him forever. He's just a harmless flirt."

"You went on carriage rides with him." Will hadn't raised his voice, instead it had lowered to the point where I had to lean towards him to hear what he said. "He sent you flowers for a month, you wrote him! He said you wrote him practically every week when he was away. It's obvious he still wants you"

"Will, Oscar went on carriage rides with every eligible girl." I took his hands in mine, trying to get them to relax from their rigid grip on his knees. "For God's sake, his sister chaperoned us!"

"And the flowers?"

"It was after my debut, he just-" I sighed, feeling my shoulders drop. "Yes, he courted me. And yes, he might still have feelings." I let my hands wander up to his face, caressing his cheeks. "But I don't, I stopped writing him after Zachary attacked me. And then Father, it just fell away. I don't have any feelings for him beyond friendship now." His eyes still wouldn't meet mine, so I leaned forward and did what I could. I pressed my lips to his, winding my hands around him. It was a moment before I felt him respond, and he tried to keep my bottom lip when I pulled back. "Will, you have nothing to worry about. I promise."

His hands quickly fell to my waist, and he was pressing his lips to my neck as he spoke. "I still don't like it."

"Oh God, Will." I moaned, feeling him suck at the underside of my jaw. "Do you think I let him do this? You're the only one Will, the only one."

He brought his lips up to my ear, ghosting over it. "Ana, he got to send you flowers, take you for carriage rides, Christ he's still demanding you give him dances at the next party."

I was almost panting as I felt his hands rise to my breasts, kneading what he could reach through my corset. "Is that what you're angry about? Will, you can send me flowers. I'll always have dances set aside for you, and I've never had a carriage ride like this." Will hummed a bit, and I took that for a good sign. I'd never get him to like Oscar, that much was obvious, but if he could at least be cordial. And if this was the result of him being a little jealous, well, it wasn't all bad. I chuckled as he dropped his lips back to my neck, "Besides Will, I'm wearing your ring. I've been in your bed."

He nipped at me, making me start. But his arms were strong and held me in place as he continued nipping at my neck, his voice low. "But you're not there now."

"And you know I want to be." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, letting him bear me down to the carriage bench. "Or to have you in mine."

"I guess I can deal with him," Will muttered, rising to look down at me. "But does he have to touch you so much?"

"He's just a flirt, Will." I tried to pull him back down to me, but he stayed firm. "Please, I promise if he gets to be too much I will stop him."

"Their ship is rather nice," He mused, "I should like to see her under full sail. But you'll stay with me while we're on her, right?"

"I doubt you'd let me wander off."