When the Mary Ellen Carter tied up at the docks, no worse for wear aside from some scratched paint, I almost sobbed with relief. I'd hardly left Will's side for the remainder of the voyage after the storm, and Rigel had been constantly by my side. Between the two of them it was hard to remember the water crashing over me just as I grabbed the doorknob on the door to the bridge. I didn't think about the freezing wave that had slammed into me, foam swirling about head and the harsh taste of saltwater flooding my mouth when I had tried to scream.

And then it had pulled at me.

The force of the wave receding had pulled my hair from its pins, sending it swirling around my head and tangling itself into knots. My feet had scrambled at the decking, my hand a claw around the doorknob as I tried to find somewhere, anywhere, away from the water. And then it was gone, and the wind was biting through my clothes and I was so cold, I had barely been aware of what I had been doing until Samuel had pulled me into the chartroom.

He'd been talking, constantly, using his handkerchief to try and dry my face as much as he could, but I couldn't help the tears. I wanted Will, I wanted my husband, and he wasn't there. He was supposed to have been there, I had wanted him to let me stay on the bridge where I could at least see the waves coming at us. Samuel had been muttering in Gaelic, although he had stopped once Will had arrived.

I bit my lip, remembering the fear that had raced through me when Will had said he had been in the engine room. All I could see was Father trapped belowdecks as the Titanic sank, and Will suffering the same fate. Will had been good about holding me close that night, although I had woken up at least twice that night with a cry in my throat for Will to run. I shook my head, earning myself a look from him as we stood by the railing. He covered my hand with his, "Everything alright?"

"Yes," I smiled, "I would just like to get home and sleep in our bed."

"You're not the only one." He muttered, looking out at the dock as we were swiftly tied up. "Look, your mother is right there." I couldn't help but smile at the sight of Mother, her car blocking a number of trucks as she stood on the running board and examined the decks. She waved when she saw us, I lifted a hand in acknowledgment.

Mother enveloped me in a hug as soon as my foot hit the dock, "Oh Anastasia, it's so good to have you back." She turned to Samuel in a whirl of wool, "And Samuel, I was so sorry to hear about Ruth, but I am glad that you're visiting us."

Samuel nodded, "Thank ye, Mrs. Dalian."

"Oh hush with that," Mother tapped his arm, leading us all to the car. "I insist on you calling me Ruth." Her driver, after waiting for a moment for our trunks to be brought to one of the trucks, started us chugging towards the dock house. Rigel thumped his tail against the floor, looking at all of us with a lolling tongue. Mother had a small smile on her face as she looked to Samuel, "In fact, I'm desperately glad that you're visiting us because I am in need of help."

"With what?" Samuel was looking out the window, but looked to Mother as she spoke.

The look Mother cast at Will was nothing short of triumphant. "Why, William's birthday of course." Will flushed at that, but he quickly paled as she went on. "I know we had a small celebration last year, but he's truly a member of our set now and I am in the mood to throw an absolutely absurd party."

"Mrs. Dalian," Will started, although he quickly backpedaled at Mother's glare. "Ruth, that's really not necessary."

I smirked, "Oh it absolutely is Will! Mother, do you remember my seventeenth birthday party? Perhaps we could do something similar to the party gifts we did then?"

"The topaz bracelets and cufflinks?" Mother rocked her head from side to side, considering. "Perhaps rubies would be more appropriate for William."

"Christ above." Will cursed under his breath, although he glanced away when Samuel looked to him. "Ruth, really, I'll be quite content with something small."

"Lad," Samuel snorted, "This 'tis a time to accept things gracefully."

"And I am in the mood to spoil my son-in-law." Mother batted her eyes, giggling a bit. "As well as you Samuel, I've given orders for a lovely meal to be waiting for us." I wrapped my hand around Will's as Mother launched into a recital of all the food that was awaiting us. A savory salad, fresh bread, beef stew, grilled salmon, roast pheasant and an apple pie for dessert.

Samuel ducked his head as she listed everything off, "Ruth, 'tis not necessary. I'd be happy with one a the dishes you listed."

"And I would be a terrible hostess to only present you with one dish." Mother snorted, "And you will eat every bite, Samuel." The way she pursed her lips made it clear that there was no room for argument, not that he had much time to protest. The car had pulled into the drive of the dock house, and Rigel was first out the door with a bark as he slammed into Taylor. He was laughing as he collared Rigel and pulled him out of the way as more footmen came forward to unload the car and haul the trunks inside.

Peggy herself was waiting to lead Samuel up, "We've given you Mr. Murdoch's old rooms, you'll be quite comfortable there." She nodded to Mother, "Dinner will be read in a few hours, ma'am."

Mother waved off her concern, "I'll be quite happy in the parlor, but you three could probably stand a rest before then." Given the rather haggard look on Samuel's face, I couldn't help but agree. He groaned as we climbed the stairs up to the fifth floor, Peggy moved far too easily in his opinion.

Peggy bobbed a curtsey outside his door, "Here you are, sir. I've had a fire lit." Samuel stammered some form of thanks, and Will chuckled as we both heard him groan as he entered the sitting room. Peggy looked to me, "Is everything alright?"

"I'll make sure." Will made for the door, a smile on his face. I could hear him start speaking in Gaelic, and Samuel reply in kind. I went to my own room, sitting down onto the settee with a grateful sigh. It was far too nice to be able to sit on the plush cushions and have the warmth of a fire wash over me. In fact, the only thing that stopped me from falling asleep was Will coming in. He wrapped his arms around me as he sat, kissing my cheek. "My apologies for interrupting your nap."

"I'd prefer to nap with you here." I muttered, turning towards him. "How's your father?"

He snorted, "Uncomfortable with how comfortable everything is, but I told him it was that or we put him up in the Ritz and it would be even worse." I laughed at that, Samuel would settle in. Just like with Will though, it would take time. Hopefully it wouldn't take too long, although even Will would still get uncomfortable about some things, even after all this time. He shifted under me, "Ana, you need to talk to your mother about my birthday party. I don't need anything elaborate."

"And you think I can convince her to abandon that?" I stretched, settling further onto Will and feeling him pull me tighter. "Will, just act happy at the party she throws. We can have a smaller one here." He groaned, but began to stroke up and down my side. "And no running away on a crossing, we all need you here."

Will's hand quickly moved from stroking to tickling, and he caught me tight as I tried to get away. "Anastasia Victoria Dalian Murdoch, how dare you accuse me of planning to run away from a party?" I was laughing too hard to reply, and Will shifted so that he could carry me into the bedroom. He tossed me onto the bed, settling down beside me. "Now, I think we both need a nap."

I rolled onto my side, trailing my hand down his chest. "Or perhaps we need something else." We hadn't done anything since the Olympic, and I missed his touch. Will's eyes were closed, his brow furrowed as he seemed to consider my offer. I let my hand wander south, teasing around his waistband for a moment before dipping inside his trousers. His eyes squeezed shut even harder as I began to stroke him, and I moved to lay my head next to his. "Will, doesn't that feel nice?"

He groaned as I tightened my hand, "Yes."

"Do you want me to keep going?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to do more than this with me?" I had barely gotten the words out before Will had flipped over me, his lips capturing mine in a bruising kiss as he shifted my thighs open with his knee. I gladly opened them, still stroking him to readiness. Will only pulled back a moment to unbutton his trousers and ruck my skirt and petticoat up. I sighed happily as he came back down to kiss me again, his tongue slipping into my mouth and tracing over mine. I gasped into the kiss as he pressed a finger into me, rubbing back and forth and drawing the most delicious sensations from my body.

It didn't take long before I was almost whining with want, even with two fingers teasing me I wanted more. Will pulled away again to line himself up, sliding home and making me cry out as he did so. His eyes were dark as he leaned over me, and I moaned to feel him stretch me. I shifted my legs up, making him groan as he set a quick pace. I could tell it wouldn't take me long, not with the way my legs were already shaking as Will plowed into me over and over.

It was not my most elegant moment, coming with a crying groan that left my throat sore as my muscles seized and left me utterly spent below Will who was still thundering away at me. It was nice to feel him moving in me, his face slack as he neared his own climax. I let my hands wander up and wrap around his shoulders, my breath heavy as he finished and came with a cry. I looked up at him once he regained his breath, "I think I prefer this without the clothes."

He took in my wrinkled shirtwaist and skirt, "So do I."

"We're going to have to change for dinner, aren't we?"

"Yes."

Will sighed as he rolled off me and onto the bed. "Damn, but at least we have that." He didn't say anything as I snuggled up to his side, simply turned toward me and threw an arm around my waist. It felt like I had barely closed my eyes before Will was gently shaking my shoulder and we had to put our clothes to rights. Will changed into a fresh suit, while Louise helped me into a dinner dress that was understated enough for the occasion.

"Oh, Anastasia, that dress is lovely." Mother sighed as we came down to the dining room, and Will pulled out a chair for me. "Such a lovely soft green."

"I'm just glad I have a reason to wear it." I smiled, looking to Samuel. "You'll find that we're actually quite informal at home, Samuel. Sometimes Will doesn't even change when he comes home from the docks."

Samuel snorted, "He has tonight though, 'tis strange that ye both felt like a change a clothes."

Will flushed a bit as the footmen entered with the first course, the salad. "Ah, well, you know how it is when you've been wearing your traveling clothes. Sometimes a change is rather nice."

"Well hopefully ye didnae spend all yer time on yer clothes and got some rest." Samuel speared a tomato, looking up at me. "I couldnae sleep a wink."

"I'm sure you'll get used to the bed soon." I turned to my own plate.

Samuel snorted, "'Twas nae the bed, I kept hearing this noise, kept me up."

"I'll talk to the servants, perhaps they were cleaning." Mother was completely unaware of how much I was blushing, or how Will could barely look up from his plate. "I'm sure they meant nothing by it."

"I'm sure they didnae either, dinnae worry yerself over it. I can speak tae them meself." The look Samuel shot Will made it quite clear exactly what had kept him up and who he would be speaking to. I trained my eyes on my salad, chasing down every last bit of lettuce and sitting prettily when I was done. I found myself staring at the wall, it was the only way to keep myself from turning completely red and having to explain to Mother exactly why I had to change my clothes.

Samuel was the perfect guest, complimenting each course as they came out and talking happily to Mother about exactly what Will would enjoy at the party. But given the way that I saw Will purse his lips or shake his head every now and then, I wasn't sure he was being truthful. After all, I highly doubted Will really enjoyed dancing polkas and eating boiled fish. Mother settled back into her chair after finishing her slice of pie, and graced Samuel with a smile before getting up to leave. "You can come visit me sometime and tell me what William actually likes."

That sent Will to laughing, and Samuel glared at him. "As ye like, Ruth. Although sometimes he deserves nothin' but boiled cod." Mother was laughing as she left, and Samuel joined us on the walk up the stairs. "'Twill be nice to get a night of quiet sleep."

"Yes, I hope you'll come to enjoy the rooms." I glanced to Will, hoping he would back me up.

He coughed, "It took me a bit of time, but they really are nice." Then he smirked, "And Da, this a time to accept things gracefully."

"Aye, and as long as things are quiet, I feel I shall come to enjoy it." Samuel snorted as he walked into his rooms, leaving us to walk red faced back to our rooms.

I looked to Will as soon as the door was shut. "He heard us."

"Obviously," Will groaned, fingers already moving for his tie. "Didn't realize the man still had a sense of hearing like that."

"So, where does that leave us?" I moved forward to help unbutton his waistcoat and the shirt beneath. "After all, we don't know how long he's staying.

"We've had to sneak around before," Will pressed a kiss to my cheek. "And this time Reggie can't say boo to us about a dirty handkerchief." While we had to be chaste in bed, Will still wrapped his arm around my waist and covered my breast with his hand.

The ship underneath me groaned, her four funnels belching black smoke into the sky as she strained against the storm. The rain coming down was black with soot, staining my hands as I tried to hang onto the railing even as the ship pitched over and almost dislodged me. I knew this was a nightmare, Titanic had never encountered a storm. But the Hugh Porter and the Mary Ellen Carter had, and all the ships had run together in my mind.

There were other passengers on the deck, screaming and surging around me. I tried to keep my hands around the railing, but they buffeted against me and drew me on. Farther up the ship, where the bow crashed through the waves, that's what they were dragging me towards. The freezing water, the foam that choked me and burned my eyes. I could feel myself begin to scream, but a voice broke through the storm. "Anastasia!" I whipped my head around, stumbling hard to the deck as the crowd rushed on.

I knew that voice, I would always know that voice.

Tears sprang to my eyes as the voice kept calling. "Anastasia, Anastasia come to me! Fight against them, come back!" I could barely lift my head against the flood of rain, waves breaking over the side and soaking me. "Please!" I shoved one foot underneath me, then the other, and then I struggled back to my feet. I took one step, the wind howling even harder. "That's my girl, just like that."

Every step was a struggle, the deck slick and the people growing even more frantic as they tried to drag me along with them. But I kept trudging, even if I stumbled, even if I had to struggle back to my feet again. He deserved this, I had to do it. Part of me dreaded what I would see, I was expecting a bloated pale corpse in evening wear, but I had to keep going. I could see him through the gaps between the passengers now, just glimpses. Brushed back brown hair, hazel eyes, a scruffy spray of stubble across his cheeks. He was still calling out, his voice trembling with a sob. "Do you remember what you'd do when you were little and had a dream like this? You'd come to me and I'd make it all go away." I was almost crying now as I broke through the last of the crowd, "So come to me, come to your Papa and I can make it all disappear."

I threw myself into his arms, smelling that bay rum cologne and breaking out into fresh tears as I felt him wrap his arms around me. He was here, he always made everything better. I sobbed against his shirt, the storm around us rising to a fever pitch, wind screaming and waves thrashing around us before it suddenly died. I felt Father gently pull me away from his chest, "It's alright sweetheart, it's done with."

I brushed my tears away, looking around. We were back in the parlor, a fire happily crackling in the hearth and a pair of plush chairs pulled up to take advantage of the warmth. My voice was still quavering when I finally spoke, "Father, what is this?"

"Don't call me that." He chuckled, settling down into one of the chairs and patting the other. "I know you had to begin calling me Father, but I always hated it. It sounded so distant, your Father was the one who punished you, while your Papa would always be by your side. So please sweetheart, call me Papa." I ignored the chair, throwing my arms around him again, fresh tears springing to life. He hugged me closer. "You know, your mother wasn't nearly as hard to reach."

I drew back, "What do you mean, reach?"

"Sweetheart, I'm a ghost. What's the point of being a ghost if you can't watch over the people you love?" He chuckled, and I moved to the other chair, trying to wrap my mind around what he was saying. I had thought it was simply a pleasant dream, but if actually was here, it was unbelievable. "Now, it took quite a bit of time to figure out how to step into someone's dreams and visit them, but Ruth was so happy when I managed it, I knew I had to try to reach you." He chuckled, "I must admit, I haven't just been watching over you and your mother. I pay a visit to Henry Reichster every now and then to keep him unsettled, it's rather difficult but I've been able to give him a nightmare about drowning every now and then."

I bit my lip, "I have those dreams sometimes, that's not you, is it?"

Father reached over and brushed a lock of hair back behind my ear, "That's something you've done to yourself, sweetheart. I would never hurt you. Every nightmare, every bad dream, I've tried to fight against them for you, but it's rather hard."

"What do you mean, did it to myself?" I looked to my hands, twisting around each other. "I don't want to have them."

He sighed, "I suppose I have something to do with it." I waited for him to look at me, but he kept his eyes glued to the fire. "I wanted to see you so bad, but every I reached out you would panic and fall into one of those. It broke my heart to see you like that, because of me, so I stopped trying."

"Oh," I felt my lips tremble. "Papa, it wasn't you." To think that all those nightmares I had, it had just been him trying to talk to me. I wrapped my arms around myself, "I'm so sorry."

Father waved his hand, "Don't start crying again, I can't stand to hear you cry. Let's, let's talk about something else." He looked back to me, smiling. "I was so happy to see you at your wedding, you looked so beautiful. I knew William was a good man, and he's an even better husband."

"You were there?"

"Of course," He smirked, "Who do you think gave your mother the idea for you to carry one of my handkerchiefs? It's far easier to be around you when you're carrying something of mine." His eyes grew rather bright, "And the both of you are doing so well with the company, I'm so proud." He stood, coming over to brush his hand across my head. "I must admit, I was rather worried about you being rude to Sophie but at least you acted properly in the end."

"Papa!" I laughed, "She married Zachary, of course I was suspicious of her for a bit." Part of my mind was already planning how to keep something of his around me at all times. I would have to talk to Mother, but maybe I could get a pocket watch of his to carry, or a set of cufflinks.

He pursed his lips, "Hmmm, perhaps I should pay that boy a visit. He could stand a few nasty dreams, especially for making you have to be suspicious of every new person you meet."

"I could help you come up with ideas?" I couldn't help the smirk on my face, "I must admit that I've had a few ideas on things I'd like to do to him."

Father's grin was rather evil, "What did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking something with Rigel chasing him." My nose wrinkled as my smile widened. "He's hated him since he was a puppy."

"Ah yes, your dog." He chuckled, "I've come to like him, sometimes I even feel like he can see me. I will try to work it in, although I was thinking that Rigel may bite off something rather precious of his."

I burst out laughing, "Papa, that's evil!"

"So is he, and his father! Hmm, I may just have to spread it through the entire family."

I gave a tight smile, "I have another one you could give to the both of them, perhaps that Sophie's baby is Oscar's instead of Zachary's? Knowing those two that would be more terrifying than the other."

Father snorted and, laughing, caught me up in a hug. "On Anastasia, I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Papa." I clutched him, trying to keep from crying. It was like I was a little girl again, playing with him. I sniffed into his shoulder, unable to stop myself from asking something I had never been able to figure out since I had lost him. "Why did you leave us?"

He gasped, was silent for a moment, and then held me tighter, "Because I was afraid of the day I would forget you, your mother, Abraham, everyone who mattered to me. I wanted to be myself, at the end." Father drew back, "I didn't want you all to see me like that, I knew it would break Ruth's heart. And mine if I ever remembered, because I would just forget you all in a moment." But then he smiled, his eyes light. "I never thought I would get to see all of you again." He glanced over my shoulder, a sigh escaping. "Anastasia, I have to go." Father gently grasped my shoulders. "And you need to wake up."

"When will I see you again?" I looked around, seeing the fire begin to die.

He sighed, "It takes time to recover my strength after a visit like this. I'm not sure, sometimes I can come back faster." He reached up, chucking me under my chin. "But no more nightmares when I come back, alright?"

I smiled, "Of course Papa," I stood a little taller, kissing his cheek. "And I'll be so glad to see you again."

"I love you, Anastasia, and I am so proud of you. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I love you, Papa." I could feel myself waking up, the parlor fading around me. "I always will."