My dear little broccolis💚💚💚

💚 So, this story is dedicated to two particular authors with whom I have briefly touched on those issues, and who make amazing stories. paleseptember10 & Krooela. Go check them out, you won't regret it.

💚 About the Gia situation, I think you need to remember that we are privy to Christian's thoughts and not Ana's. We know he was horny for Gia, Ana doesn't. All she knows is that he had a crush on her when they were young and that he lied to see her. From Ana's pov, he organised a surprise for him with his childhood crush. It is clumsy, but Ana has always known that Christian is not the best to express himself. So yes, she isn't making a big deal about the Gia situation because she doesn't see the big deal. AND also, she is tired of Christian's constant jealousy over any male friend of hers, so if she is even slightly critical, he could turn that on her.

Also, just so you know, you're not about to like Christian any time soon.

💚 Fallen Angel💚

How would have Christian Grey's life turned out if the Greys had intervened when Elena tried to sink her claws into him? Would he still be the same man as we know, or someone completely different ...

‼️Rated M - {Out Of Characters/All Human/Alternate Universe}‼️

‼️Romance/Angst/Drama/Lemons‼️

‼️AS/CG/The Greys/The Steeles/Jack Hyde/Elena Lincoln‼️

💚 READ & REVIEW, DON'T BE A SILENT READER 💚

Chapter 62: Lost Angel (2,6K)

Christian's PoV

READ THE NOTE ABOVE!

Gone.

She's gone. She's not just avoiding me, she's not just angry—she's gone. She left without even looking once behind her to see how it would feel for me.

I look at the key card, anger boiling in me once again. How I hate that. How I hate that I am so dependent on my emotions now, when I used to be so in control of them. I look up, as the staff still look at me, waiting for my reaction, and I see Sawyer. That bastard. I never liked him. He was too good-looking for my liking to be a good bodyguard, but the Colonel and Taylor insisted. And now look. He let her go alone in the streets. After she was assaulted. What kind of stupidity is that?

And then, he scoffs, looking straight into my eyes and detaching himself from the block he was forming with Taylor and Gail. He looks through his pockets and produces an envelope, handing it to me as he tells me,

"My resignation letter."

He beat me by a second. I was just about to fire his ass.

"Let's just say that you give me grace on my notice. I'll get out of your hair. I just wanted to give you the key and letter in person."

He then leaves, tilting his head in the direction of Taylor and Gail while I am still dumbfounded. She's gone. I vaguely hear Taylor calling my name before realizing that I was in motion, grabbing the first keys I could have access to.

"You're not in a condition to drive, sir."

I don't argue and let him follow me to the elevator, only becoming aware of the fact that I am barefoot when Gail rushes in with shoes and a coat for me. I put them on in the elevator as it rides down and sharply ask Taylor,

"Since when did you know that she left?"

"About a minute before you came into the kitchen."

"What kind of CPO doesn't notice a whole human being leaving the penthouse?!"

Taylor waits for a long second before turning to me, and even in my rage, I recognize that this is a military-trained man who has been protecting me for a decade now.

"I was not aware that Miss Steele was your prisoner, sir. I was under the impression that she was your girlfriend."

I clench my fists to repress telling him that common sense dictates he should make me aware of who comes and goes in my house, girlfriend or not, but I don't want to argue with him. I want to go to Ana's apartment first and see what this is about.

The drive is silent, though I have to put my phone on silent. I am usually already at work, especially with all the shit going on there, but I will not be able to concentrate on anything if I don't know that we're good—if I don't know where Ana is.

Taylor barely has time to park in front of her building before I am already out, punching the access code to the building before taking the stairs four by four. I pound at the door, with no answer, panic taking over me as the door remains closed until I remember that Ana gave me a spare key.

But when I unlock the door and step inside the apartment, the dread doesn't subside. On the contrary. She's not here. She's nowhere.

She's truly gone.

I fall to my knees, and it takes me a moment to gather my thoughts. I try to tame the panic attack coming over me—the buzz in my ears, the lightheadedness, the heart trying to escape my ribcage—but the truth remains the same.

Ana left.

How could she do this to me?

An idea suddenly comes to me as I try to find my breath, and I take my phone out of my pocket and call Welsh.

"I need you to connect me to Anastasia Steele at SIP."

He acquiesces and puts me on hold for a moment before he gets back to me and informs me, "I'm sorry, Mr. Grey, but it seems that Miss Steele is not here today. She called in sick."

"Find her, then! Any means necessary," I bark before getting up and looking through my contacts for the only person who will be able to tell me where Ana is.

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

The Colonel picks up on the second ring, and I'm not sure if this is a good or bad sign.

"Hello, Christian."

His voice is neutral, normal even. But you never know with him.

"Is... Ana with you?"

"No." There is a small pause. A tad too long if you ask me. What does he know? What is he going to do to me? "But she called early this morning. Very early."

I can swear there is disappointment in his voice, and strangely enough, I don't like it. Not because of what he can do to me, but because I hate the idea of having disappointed such a stand-up man.

"What did she say?"

"Not much. She said that she needed time for herself and that I shouldn't go ballistic if I couldn't reach her for a while."

For a while. How long does she intend to disappear for?

"Yes... we had a... disagreement last night."

Another long pause that sends chills down my spine.

"Fights are bound to happen in a relationship, Christian. As I told you in the past, your relationship with Annie is none of my business. It's not my place to intervene on her behalf in a fight with her partner. All I asked of you is to not disappoint her. I know that Carla told you her past, and I don't know how much Annie told you it weighed on her. But she's been through enough to deserve to have someone fully devoted to her happiness and well-being."

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

All morning long, all I can think about is Ana. Focusing on work has never been so hard. I barely pay attention to Ross or Jack, almost lose it when Welsh comes to tell me that he has nothing on Ana. Her car is still in Escala's parking, she hasn't used her credit card, she hasn't used her phone, she hasn't logged into any form of social media, and hasn't used her personal or professional email. She disappeared.

So of course, I called Martha for an emergency meeting through lunch. For the first time in my life, I will not be having lunch but rather working through it. Yes, it is not work, but still, it is working. How can Ana disappear like that without giving us a single chance to work through it? She barely spoke to me yesterday. Things don't go her way, and she bolts!? Who does that?

Of course, I went to see Kate, who seemed unaware of the situation, so I didn't say anything. Once everyone goes for their lunch break, I bolt to Martha's office, accompanied by Taylor. I burst into her office as she finishes her shake salad, and I immediately slump on the couch, not letting her time to put her salad away. Then I word vomit everything—the fact that I told her to get Sawyer with her, the assault, Ana leaving, my desperation. Everything, even my call with the Colonel.

Martha listens, at some point putting her tablet down and simply looking at me as I keep on talking, and once I am done, she simply says, her gaze steady on me,

"Do you want the soft or the hard way to deliver the news?"

"I want the quick way to get Ana back!"

"Well... you fucked up, Christian. Why would she want to get back to you?"

I exhale, running my hands through my hair. "I know."

"That's the thing. I don't think you do."

I look up, my elbows on my knees, and she continues with calm,

"You know what you're supposed to say, but do you really know why you fucked up? Why she left?"

"Because I didn't take her side as she expected me to. But if she had listened to me, none of this would have happened! Why can't she see that?!"

"And that is the problem."

I glare at her, not seeing why caring about my girlfriend's well-being is a problem.

"Christian..." she says more softly, retaking her tablet and pen in hand. "You were fifteen when Elena assaulted you—"

"This has nothing to do with it!" I roar, and she simply smiles and continues,

"As I was saying, you were fifteen when you were assaulted. How would you have felt as a fifteen-year-old if your parents had blamed you for this assault instead of being there for you? How would you feel today if, when you told Ana, she had told you that you should have known better, you should have been the one to tell an adult about it, you could have said no?"

I stop bouncing my leg, a cold bucket of water thrown on my face. My heart constricts, and I swallow with difficulty.

"It's different."

"How? You told me so yourself that Ana has had a strong model of what support for a victim is like. You've experienced that support firsthand. And yet, when she needed you the most, you weren't there for her. You only cared about you, your feelings, and being right. Did you ask about how she was feeling? Did you ask for a doctor to see her? Did you suggest going to the police and filing a complaint?"

A sick, awful feeling spreads through me. It's a gut punch. I try to breathe, but my chest is too tight. Ana was hurt. She was vulnerable. And I— I close my eyes. Fuck.

"You're not a monster, Christian," she continues. "You were terrified of losing her. But you can't love someone by controlling them. If you want Ana back, you can't chase her. You show her you understand. That you're willing to be better. And if she still doesn't come back…"

She shrugs wit a sad smile. "Then you love her enough to respect her choice."

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

In the afternoon, I don't go back to work. I send a quick text to Ross, telling her that I will work through the night and that she is in charge for the afternoon. Then, after going home to pick up my own car and be in charge of my moves freely, I drive to the loft where I know José works. He doesn't seem surprised to see me. Of course. The fucker must be rejoicing that I fucked up. It's his time to shine.

He takes us to his darkroom, and I have to say that despite my fear and anger, I am admiring of the man. A lot of photographers have gone full digital now, but José still develops pictures the old-fashioned way. Maybe that's why his pictures are so good—not just the way he takes them, but how he develops them.

As soon as we're alone, he tells me, tired, "I know why you're here, Grey. And I have no idea where she is. We too had a fight last night."

Last night?! When did she leave?

"What do you mean?"

"Ana came to see me after you handled her assault like a fucking moron. And she did not like what I had to say about it."

"Let me guess, you were all too happy to bring it back to you and tell her how you'd never treat her like that."

He rolls his eyes and says,

"I'd never treat her like that. But that's beside the point. Ana is my friend, Grey. I never saw her as anything other than my sister. She's annoying like one, she makes me proud like one, she cares for me like one. If you can't get that through your thick skull, that's not on me. Go see a shrink and fix your issues."

I clench my jaw and focus on the real matter of the conversation here.

"Why did you fight?"

"Because she said that she wanted to disappear, and I said that it wasn't the solution. I told her that grown and mature people talk, and then she said that talking didn't work with you."

I crack my knuckles, swallowing thickly, and he tells me,

"Listen, man, I know I'm not your favorite person in the world because of some weird, distorted way you view male/female friendship. That's on you. Yes, I teased a little too far when we first met, but that's mostly because I wanted to piss her off. She was talking my ear off about you.

Now... did you handle the situation like a normal human being would have? No. You fucked up like a moron. But I don't think it deserves going off radar. I think it deserves a lot of groveling on your part and a lot of talking on her part. But what do I know? I'm not the one in a relationship.

Just... if I hear anything, I will let you know. And if I can, I'll force her to see you. But that's a big if. Ray taught her well, and she knows how to disappear."

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

I'm on the bed where she slept ... or at least where she was before leaving, staring at the blank screen, my hands shaking as I type. This is my last attempt to reach her, the only way I know to contact her and in a way, keep her wish to stay away. All I hope is that it's temporary.

From: Christian Grey
To: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Please

Ana,

I don't even know where to start. I've rewritten this email a dozen times, but no words seem right. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't even deserve a response.

I was wrong. So fucking wrong.

You were hurt, and instead of holding you, I blamed you. I let my fear turn into anger, and I took it out on you. I keep replaying it in my head, over and over, and I can't believe I said those words to you. I can't believe I let you go to bed alone, thinking for even a second that I didn't care about what happened to you.

You are everything to me. And I made you feel unsafe.

I don't know where you are, but I hope you're okay. I hope you're taking care of yourself. I won't ask you to come home—I won't demand anything from you. But I need you to know that I love you. That I am so fucking sorry.

If you ever want to talk, I'm here. No pressure. No expectations. Just… here.

I love you. Please be safe.

Christian x

❌PLEASE DO NOT COPY, DOWNLOAD OR SHARE THIS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE❌

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚

💚 So ... I might update earlier, because I just want Ana back ... because I'm evil

💚 But what did you think?

💚 And don't forget, the first two books of From Duty to Love are out now! It would mean the world to me if you could check them out and support my journey. 💖

💚 E L James owns the names of the characters from the Fifty Shades franchise, Everything else is mine (including the mistakes and grammar errors).

Love, Mina 💚💚💚