"Nothing is more tragic than to meet a person who is breathless and lost in the labyrinth of life."

Martin Luther King

Remus was walking along the waterfront near his new home. For as long as he could remember, he had loved the sea. It was far too early for him to be swimming, it was only mid-February, and although he had been swimming at this time of year, it was in Australia, not England. The water temperature was quite different. He loved the beach, the sand and wind soaking into his clothes, the sea lapping at his feet. He was walking along the beach and was about to turn back when he heard sobbing a few feet away. He approached and saw his young self, leaning against a tree, crying for some reason.

"Remus? What's the matter?"

He didn't ask him if he was all right, he could see that he wasn't.

"I need to be alone" he sobbed.

"Maybe, but rehashing your emotions alone won't help you. What's going on?"

"This is all my fault. Benjy and Dorcas are dead because of me. I'm the one who got Peter into the marauders. Without me, he would never have joined the Order!"

"I hear you. But Pettigrew could have joined the Order just the same, he was in your dormitory for seven years. You weren't going to ignore him every time."

"You can't understand. It's like I brought him into my group of friends, only for him to betray us, you didn't live through that" he replied angrily.

Remus sighed and sat down beside himself.

"I'm going to tell you a story, but by Merlin, don't tell anyone, not even Sirius or James. I've told you this before, but when I was four years old I was bitten by a werewolf. I was kept away from other children all my childhood. I played well with my sister, but we were over six years apart and she had her own friends. When I went to La Escuela de Magia de España, I met two friends, and we started our group almost immediately after. But there was a fourth person in our dormitory and he was being picked on by other students. I went to him and asked him to join our group. He joined us and we became the troublemakers of the school. Events made Juan, one of my best friends, go into hiding, his son was the subject of a prophecy and Pedro was chosen as the secret keeper, while everyone thought Sergio would be the one keeping the secret. Pedro was on the other side and he revealed their hiding place to the dark wizard who was rampant in Spain. Juan and Lea were murdered, leaving behind their son, Harry."

"The same Harry that Helena keeps dreaming about?"

"Yes. Sergio was accused and locked up in prison. I thought he was guilty, like everyone else. He was locked up for twelve years."

"He's Helena's friend who was locked up for twelve years?"

"Yes. He's more mine than hers, but she got to know him. For twelve years I thought Sergio had sold Juan and Lea and that he had killed Pedro. But I found out, a year after he escaped, that he was innocent and that it was Pedro who had orchestrated everything. So you brought Pettigrew into your friends' lives, and he killed Dorcas and Benjy, but it's my fault that my friends died, that Harry was abused with his aunt and uncle, that Sergio spent twelve years in prison when he was innocent."

"I understand why you hate fidelius charm. But it's not your fault, your friends should have told you that they had changed their secret keeper."

"They thought I was the traitor. Because I'm a werewolf. And it had already occurred to me that Sergio might betray us. Just because he came from a family that practiced dark magic."

Remus finished his story and stood up, without a word. Talking about his past was painful, and even more so if it touched on the collapse of the marauders. He returned to the water and walked the rest of the distance to the house.

Hermione went inside the house, thinking. She began to put away the groceries she had made in the cupboards, mechanically, without thinking of using magic. Lily, who had slept there the night before, came to help her.

"Girls, we are wizards. You can take out your wands and put everything away in seconds."

"Thank you Sirius, after more than seven years in the magical world, I still hadn't noticed."

Hermione continued packing as if nothing had happened, she hadn't even heard Sirius speak.

"Helena! I'm talking to you. Helena. Shit, she's having a fit again."

"I'm not having a fit, I'm just thinking."

"You could answer us. What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking of a name for the house."

In front of their uncomprehending eyes, Hermione explained that she had met an old lady who had told her that there was a tradition in the area, when a house was bought, it had to be named. Hermione had then walked home and had indeed seen that there were names written on the front of the houses.

"And you're freaking us out about a house name?"

"You don't understand. I haven't had a real home for years, so if it's a local tradition, it's important to me. But I have absolutely no idea what to call it.

"Why not The Travellers?" Remus suggested as he entered the room.

He had been listening to the conversation and although he didn't care, he understood Hermione's need to attach herself to something, a house name for example.

"It fits us pretty well, doesn't it?"

"It does. We've spent our lives travelling."

Remus had changed houses a lot as a child, if a neighbour had any doubts about his condition, he and his parents would move. This had subsided when he had entered Hogwarts, but he had moved again and again when he had joined the Order and gone on missions. The years after James and Lily's death had been relatively quiet, he stayed in a small, remote corner of Wales. After his year of teaching at Hogwarts, he was sent on a mission on Dumbledore's orders and joined some werewolf packs, without much success. Then Tonks came into his life and gave him some stability, until the Battle of Hogwarts.

Hermione, on the other hand, had a fairly quiet childhood, she had travelled a few times to France and Spain, her grandparents were from there. The year of the horcrux hunt was the first of many where running away was the sensible thing to do.

Remus and Hermione had wandered around the UK after the defeat that had heralded the end of the War, then found themselves at Malfoy Manor, before returning to Grimmauld Square. Then the Time Chosen were born and they had travelled to Spain, Australia, Peru, Egypt, they had crossed Sweden and Norway. Before travelling through Time and going back more than twenty years. Yes, The Travellers, that suited them very well.

On that April morning in 1979, the Time Travellers were in a state of anxiety. Minerva had sent them an owl the week before to inform them that she would be free the coming weekend to destroy the horcrux in the Gaunt house. It had been difficult for her to get the weekend off, although the teachers were under no obligation to spend their days off at the castle, as Deputy Headmistress, the witch had to be present, even more so when the Headmaster was away, which happened quite often, Dumbledore was apparently very busy with the Order.

Hermione prepared some healing potions, which might be useful to them. Remus was already downstairs waiting for her, just as stressed as she was. Fortunately for them, it was still early and the Order members in the HQ were still sleeping, so they would avoid indiscreet questions where they wouldn't get an answer.

They transferred to Scotland, to Hogsmeade to be precise, and waited for Minerva, who arrived a few minutes later. Although it was April, it was still very cold and the wizards were all dressed in winter cloaks. Hermione then made them transfer to Little Hangleton. She had never been there, but Harry had shown her Dumbledore's memorabilia and could see the problem of getting there.

They asked a local man for directions and he seemed horrified at their destination. The Gaunt family had always been more than a little strange and he strongly advised against going there. Remus, as an added precaution, cast a forgetting spell on him and they continued on their way without incident. When the little cottage rose before them, they could not contain a shudder.

The house, if it could be called that, stood on the edge of a dark wood, pieces of tile lay strewn about, the floor was covered with moss and a snake was nailed to the door. They had no trouble getting in, the owners having been away for many years, there were no protective spells. The interior was just as deplorable as the exterior, the house consisted of three tiny rooms and was extremely dirty. But the three of them could feel the deep aura of dark magic in the air.

"We stick together, no matter what" Hermione said, breaking the heavy silence.

The trio cast several spells to try and detect the horcrux and it was Hermione who found it, it was not strange, she was the one who knew the most about dark magic. She had looked for the most magically concentrated place in the house and that had led her to a room under the floor. Minerva and Remus had hurried to follow her. As they entered the room, the two Time Chosen were suddenly drawn to the horcrux and slowly approached it in fascination. Minerva stopped them both with a stunned look and took hold of the infamous object carefully, without touching it. She knew that even touching it could kill her. Not immediately, but she would succumb after many months of suffering. She preferred to avoid it. She levitated Remus and Hermione to the wood a few feet away.

She cast the counterspell and ordered them both to destroy the horcrux. She dropped it a few feet away from them. Hermione and Remus murmured an incantation and a gigantic feudeymon formed, combining their magic. Figures appeared and insulted them, again. Hermione and Remus had both destroyed a horcrux, but this time the words were more vehement, the sentences more painful. Their friends seemed more real. They were weakening. It hurt them immensely to hear Harry and Ron for Hermione, Tonks, James and Sirius for Remus, speak ill of them. When the horcrux was completely destroyed, Hermione was crying and Remus' face was closed, inscrutable.

Minerva couldn't tell which reaction was worse. Hermione's sobs were unbearable to hear, the terrible words her friends had said to her were hard to take and her pain could be heard by everyone. As for Remus, he had closed himself up like an oyster, his eyes were black and he didn't say a word. The teacher knew that staying there would do them no good and made them go home, directly to the living room.

It was early afternoon and the marauders had decided to go out among themselves and had arranged to meet at the HQ since Sirius and Remus slept there most of the time. So they were incredibly surprised when their former teacher and head of house walked into the living room, accompanied by Remi and Helena. The wizard went straight up to his room and locked the door. Helena had fallen to her knees and was crying heavily, unable to stop. The three young men looked at her with round eyes, they had never seen her cry, it was not like her to do so in public. They had seen her explode with pain when Mary died, but she had never sobbed like that.

"What happened?" ventured Sirius.

Only Hermione's sobs answered him. Minerva knelt down in front of her and took her by the shoulders. She spoke quietly to her, in a confident but low voice so that the marauders would not hear her.

"Helena, look at me. It's not true. It was only an illusion, a very powerful one I grant you, but only an illusion. Harry and Ron would never have told you that."

"But... you heard what they said. They hate me."

"It wasn't them! It was the horcrux talking, not them. You were their best friend. They would never have insulted you. Think about it."

"But they were so real, even more so than with the diary or the tiara. Harry had his green eyes, Ron had his blue eyes. They must be so disappointed in me, I can't even destroy them, destroy Him" she sobbed more.

"Helena, that's enough! You are a great witch, you left everything to destroy it and you will succeed. You know black magic, you know what it means! Everything is done to make you feel worse. Remember when you got the journal back? You experienced your worst memories again, all your wounds came out at once, but you managed to overcome it. You're strong, it's not an illusion, no matter how realistic and painful it is, that's going to knock you flat. Now go and sit down, I have to go and talk to your uncle and you need to rest, there's a meeting at six."

The marauders followed Minerva's gaze before refocusing on Hermione. The young woman sat on the couch with a blank stare. The tear streaks were still visible on her cheeks and her eyes were red.

"Helena, are you alright?" James asked hesitantly.

Hermione didn't answer him, she didn't even turn her head. She stared straight ahead without lowering her head or blinking. She looked like a statue, frozen in time.

"Does she look all right, perhaps, Prongs? Helena, do you want to tell us what's going on?"

Hermione didn't say a word to him, nor did she look at him any more than she looked at her friend. She seemed to be trapped in a wall of ice that wouldn't break.

"Let's leave her, she doesn't want to talk to us. We must stop trying to protect her at all costs. She will survive. You were the same way when I got out of Azkaban. You know the saying, by Merlin! Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

Hermione stood up abruptly and stared at Sirius. She snapped out of her silence as the three men looked on in surprise.

"Do you honestly think that seeing my best friend's godfather murdered in front of my eyes has made me stronger? Do you think that spending every week making sure Harry didn't kill himself made me stronger? Do you think that being tortured to some degree of insanity helped me? Do you think seeing the rubble of the castle that had been my home for years made me feel better? Do you think that seeing the lifeless bodies of all my friends made me feel better? Do you think that seeing Ron's dead body, Harry's dead body at my feet, made me stronger? Do you think my blood status etched into my flesh helped me? Do you think being tattooed so that I could be possessed was good for me? Do you think being tortured by all my enemies at once made me stronger? You think being raped by a dark mage and half of his followers made me feel better? Do you think this isn't killing me slowly? It makes me weak, because it's my past and I can't fight it! I can't change it! Every scar on my skin reminds me of it. Do you seriously think that when I look in the mirror I see a strong woman who has survived? I did survive, because I'm doomed to save this fucking world! So if you don't know, don't tell!"

Hermione had spoken everything in one go, without flinching once. She stood straight, chin up, but her eyes were filled with tears. The faces of the marauders had never been so serious, they looked deeply shocked. Hermione's voice hadn't shaken once, she sat back down and stared at the wall in front of her again.

"Get out of my house."

Neither of them made a move. How could they after what they had just heard?

"Get out of my house, I order you."

Seeing that they did not obey, the Time Traveller drew her wand and threw them out of the house. Her gaze returned to the wall in front of her. She stared at the picture frame that hung there.

It's not the blows you give, it's the blows you receive that count, and resist to move forward.*

Hermione had never been so angry at Marlene for putting that quote there. The blows she had received, there were so many. But she couldn't move on. Because that would mean giving up her past. Giving up Harry and Ron, giving up her friends, her family, her secrets, her pain. And that was impossible. Hermione had just broken the oath she had made to herself. The one she had sworn to keep as best as she could. Minerva was right, she couldn't control herself. She should never have told James, Sirius and Remus about her past. Who knows who they might tell. Lily, certainly. Then no doubt the witch would tell Alice who would in turn tell Frank. Oh yes, Hermione regretted that she had not known how to respect Soljenitsyne's famous phrase. She held her head in her hands and turned the same sentence over and over in her mind:

Our freedom is built on what others don't know about us.

* The quote is from Randy Paush