Chapter 4: Feels Like Home

"And please don't look at me like that
It just makes me want to make you near me always"

-Near You Always, Jewel

They flew in relative silence. Hitomi worried she was too heavy to carry for a long time, but Van seemed to be managing. Her face burned as she curled into his chest. Van was having trouble concentrating because she was so close. A similar situation had played in his dreams for years. He relished her firm weight against his body. He smiled despite himself and swooped slightly in the air. Hitomi reacted to his bate and tightened her hold on him. Flying to the castle was significantly faster than walking, but they were still more than two hours away. His wings were starting to hurt from the exertion. Van did not take many opportunities to fly and began to fatigue. Training his eyes on the landscape, he saw a small lake encompassed by trees. Swooping down, he circled lower until they touched down.

"I need a break," Van said when she looked up at him with curiosity.

"Right," Hitomi replied, quickly disentangling herself from his arms. She shuffled herself a respectable distance between them and looked at her surroundings. The lush green forest was like something out of a fairytale. She half expected to turn around and find a gingerbread house or witch's cottage. The lake reflected the waning sun in flashes of deep orange and amber. She was half tempted to wade in but was not prone to following through with such flights of fancy.

Van stood and stretched his back. He kept glancing at Hitomi and wished he knew what she was thinking. Things were awkward between them. He had a million different questions for her but did not know what to ask. He knew little about the Mystic Moon and even less about her life there. He wanted more than anything to bridge the gap between them, but everything he could think of asking sounded lame in his head.

Hitomi kept glancing at Van and was sure he caught her more than once. He was hard not to look at; he had grown into a handsome man. She felt awkward and wondered if he thought the same. He had barely spoken to her since he reappeared in her life. When he had talked to her, he often snapped at her or made her feel foolish. In some ways, that was similar to what he had been like when she met him ten years earlier. There was so much that she wanted to know. She was desperate to hear how their friends had faired, how Fanelia had grown, and every aspect of his life. She didn't know where to start, and as the awkwardness grew between them, it became harder for her to start talking.

"I'm a lawyer now," She offered suddenly, desperate to fill the space between them.

Van looked at her curiously, surprised to have heard her offer a tidbit about her life. He was desperate to hear more. "You are?"

"Yes, is that so surprising?" Hitomi asked, curious about what he thought she had been doing all this time.

Van thought carefully about how to respond; he did not want to offend her. "Women aren't lawyers here. It's quite impressive."

Hitomi frowned in response. She lived so much for her job that she hated that women on Gaea were prevented from joining her profession due to their sex. She knew that Earth was more progressive in many ways, but she had taken for granted that her job would be part of it. There was no use getting upset, though; it wasn't like she was planning to move her practice to Gaea.

"I work predominantly with Human Rights cases, " she continued. She was probably oversharing, but she didn't have much else to talk about besides work.

Van raised an eyebrow, "Human Rights?"

Hitomi's eyes widened, but she supposed she shouldn't be surprised that Van was asking what they were. "On Earth, the Mystic Moon, everyone has intrinsic rights just by virtue of being human. They are inherent to everyone, regardless of nationality, race, religion, or other status."

Van smiled. He loved how her eyes lit up when she talked about her job. "That sounds idyllic."

"It does, doesn't it?" Hitomi mused. "It goes wrong sometimes, and that is where I step in. I work with people whose rights have been violated."

Walking up to her, Van said, "I'd like to hear more about these Human Rights, but we should get moving. I've rested enough."

They arrived at the castle just as dusk fell. Hitomi was in awe of Fanelia. The castle had thick walls and was heavily fortified. It looked strange juxtaposed against the lush backdrop of Fanelia's forests. The capital sprawled around the castle. The city appeared to have grown considerably since her first time in Fanelia. She suspected Fanelia had grown substantially since the war. She smiled to herself, proud of Van and his accomplishments. She wished she could find the words to tell him how impressed she was with Fanelia, but the words escaped her.

Van landed gently in the gardens he had shown to Adrasteia the day before. He hesitated to let go of Hitomi but could not think of a reason to keep holding her. He placed her gently on the ground. She handed him back his shirt and looked around them, filled with wonder.

"Oh, Van," she murmured as she spun to look around her.

Van's chest constricted as he watched her take in his home. He hoped that she liked the gardens. He had them planted with her in mind. He heard his name on her lips and smiled. The sound of his name had never sounded so sweet. His heart bubbled with pride as he saw her looking at the fruits of his labours. He was reticent but knew that they had to get her into the palace; she needed new clothes and was likely tired from their entire day's excursion to get to the palace.

"Hitomi, let's get you inside," he said, gently reaching for her arm to lead her inside.

Hitomi allowed herself to be led inside. She was tired and hungry, and it was lovely to have someone look after her for once. After her experience with Ren, she didn't want to make decisions for herself. She would refocus tomorrow and take care of herself then.

They entered through a large set of doors, and the castle's aesthetic struck Hitomi. It was a perfect juxtaposition of utility and beauty. It was large and spacious but felt cozy at the same time. She felt strangely at home, which unnerved her slightly. She was not accustomed to feeling at home anywhere. She always felt like she was in a temporary place, and the feeling of permanence unnerved her.

"Lord Van!" came a distinctly feminine voice that Hitomi did not recognize. The voice belonged to a gorgeous woman. She had long black hair piled and curled intricately atop her head. Her deep blue eyes matched the blue of her gown. She made Hitomi feel uncomfortably dowdy by comparison. A trickle of jealousy rose in Hitomi's chest, and she fought hard to quash it down.

"Lady Adrasteia," Van acknowledged the woman with a slight nod.

"My Lord, we were so worried. You disappeared without a trace. The delegation was sure some ill will had befallen you!" Adrasteia walked towards him, flicking Hitomi a cool glance.

"I apologize. I was called away urgently." Van said smoothly. "Lady Adrasteia, may I introduce you to the Lady Hitomi, the seeress from the Mystic Moon."

Hitomi could feel the woman's eyes pass judgment upon her. She could tell that Adrasteia was unimpressed with what she saw. Hitomi felt her ears pink slightly under the other woman's gaze.

"Hitomi, this is Lady Adrasteia of Zaibach. She is here as part of a delegation of nations." Van continued.

"It's a pleasure," Hitomi managed to stumble out. She felt like an insecure teenager, and she didn't like it.

"The pleasure is mine," Adrasteia replied stiffly. She quickly turned her attention to Van and put on a dazzling smile. "Now that you have returned, I was hoping we could take another stroll in the garden, my Lord."

"I'm afraid I must get the Lady Hitomi settled, another time perhaps?" Van replied calmly.

"Yes, of course," Adrasteia replied with a slight pout to her perfect lips.

Van took Hitomi's arm gently once more and led her past Adrasteia. Turning a corner, Hitomi could tell Van was looking for something or someone. Waving down a small, plump woman, Van smiled.

Waving down a small, plump woman, Van smiled. "Aalis! Just who I was looking to find."

Aalis was a dumpling of a woman and looked like the definition of motherly. She had auburn hair pulled up in a bun and a warm smile. She wore a brown dress and apron that reminded Hitomi of pictures she had seen in London at an exhibit on the Middle Ages.

"Yes, Lord Van," Aalis smiled widely at her king. She took a keen interest in Hitomi, hiding slightly behind Van. "Who is this beautiful young lady."

"This is Lady Hitomi, the seeress from the Mystic Moon," Van beamed inwardly. He knew Aalis was the right choice to look after Hitomi. "I'd like you to take her to the blue room in the west wing. Please bring her something to eat and borrow some clothes from Lady Merle. She'll need her clothes, but that should be fine for tonight."

"The blue room in the west wing?" Aalis clarified, her eyes dancing with an unknown mirth.

"Yes, please take good care of her," Van said. He turned to Hitomi and squeezed her arm gently. "I need to look after a few things; I was gone for nearly a full day. Aalis will look after you and make sure you are comfortable. Please ask her for anything you want."

It pained him to leave her; it also pained him to walk away from her without kissing her. He knew he was likely in trouble for disappearing when the delegates were in Fanelia. He was sure some eyebrows were raised, but he was also confident Merle could cover for him. He needed to find Merle and have her walk him through today's events. He then needed to tell her about Hitomi. He also needed to inform Dryden and Chid. He was sure that they would also want to see her.

Hitomi was left alone with Aalis. She did not feel awkward for the first time since arriving on Gaea. Aalis had a warmth about her, and Hitomi once again felt at home.

"Lady Hitomi, let me lead you to your room." Aalis smiled and began walking down the corridor in the opposite direction that Van had gone. Hitomi took a moment to look after Van before heading down the corridor after Aalis.

"Aalis, can you please do me a favour?" Hitomi asked.

"Yes, of course, Lady Hitomi," Aalis replied warmly.

"Please just call me Hitomi. I'm not nobility. It makes me feel like I am not like myself," Hitomi asked earnestly.

"Alright, Hitomi." Aalis's smile doubled. For some reason, Hitomi felt she had said the right thing to the smaller woman.

Hitomi was led through a series of stairs and corridors until they reached a large set of double doors. The room it led to was a good-sized antechamber with two comfortable-looking chairs and a large fireplace. The main room was large, with most of it taken up by a gigantic bed. She now understood why Van had called it the blue room. The upholstery on the chairs and the bedclothes was a lush navy blue. The walls were cream-coloured, but the ceiling was painted a deep blue with gold constellations that Hitomi did not recognize painted on it. The large windows gave a stunning view of the gardens and the Mystic Moon. Seeing her home planet, her hands twitched unconsciously for her phone; realizing she didn't have it, her heart sank a little. She couldn't stay here. She only had a week of vacation left and then needed to return to London for her clients. She'd have to talk to Van about it in the morning.

"This will be your room during your stay, Hitomi. It's in the royal wing so that you will be close to Lord Van and Lady Merle." Aalis said breezily.

Hitomi looked at her curiously. What was she doing in the royal wing? Her head ached, and she was too tired to process the information. She also desperately wanted a bath to get the memory of Ren's lips and saliva off of her. "Royal wing?"

"Yes, Lord Van's orders," Aalis replied breezily. "I'll leave you now but return with some night clothes for you. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I'd like a bath if that's okay," Hitomi asked.

"Yes, of course, my dear. I'll have water brought up to you. The bath is just through those doors." Gesturing to a door across from the bed. "I'll also arrange to have some dinner brought up to you. You must be hungry."

"Thank you, Aalis," Hitomi called after the older woman, who was already disappearing through the main doors and into the corridor.

Left alone, Hitomi flopped on the bed. Her body ached from her travels. She was confused about why Van would put her in the royal wing. Digging the heels of her palms into her eyes, she sighed loudly. She had never been very good at decrypting Van or his motivations. He couldn't possibly feel anything for her after all this time. She needed to get those girlish flights of fancy out of her head before they took root. Rolling onto her stomach, she lay staring out towards the windows. She did her best to push Van out of her thoughts. Instead, she turned her mind to her family. She wondered what they had done when they noticed she was missing. The last time she was on Gaea, they had collectively decided to ignore that she was gone. Her mother had believed her friends' account of her disappearance enough for them to pretend it didn't happen. Her school had been called, and her parents claimed she was visiting a relative. Police had not been notified. Her parents just waited until she showed back up six months later. She was re-enrolled in school, and life continued as if nothing had happened. Only her family, Yukari, and Amano knew what had happened to her. She wondered what had happened to Yukari and Amano; she lost track of them after she graduated from university and moved overseas.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Aalis, who entered the room, followed by four other women carrying steaming hot jugs of water. Hitomi sat up, forgetting to hold the fabric of her bodice, leaving her lace bra on display. Aalis clicked her tongue and walked over to Hitomi, placing a bundle of white cloth on the bed beside her.

"Let's get you up and out of that dress," Aalis said as she held her hand for Hitomi.

Taking the hand offered, Hitomi stood warily. The women surrounded her and quickly worked on removing the dress. The zipper needed some explanation, but she soon was led to the bath, where water was poured into the large porcelain tub. Once the tub was filled, Hitomi hesitated, waiting for them to leave.

Not understanding that Hitomi was expecting privacy, Aalis walked over and led her to the tub. Realizing she would not be left alone, Hitomi climbed in and instantly felt her muscles relax from the hot water.

"I'll be alright on my own from here." Hitomi broached tentatively; she did not want to offend anyone, and based on her memory from last time, this was a common practice in Gaea.

"Don't be silly, my dear; we must still wash your hair." Aalis moved behind Hitomi and began removing pins from Hitomi's hair. Her hair fell like a waterfall around her shoulders, and she sighed in relief at having the pins removed.

Twenty minutes later, Hitomi was freshly washed and scrubbed clean. Aalis was brushing her hair, preparing to braid it. She was dressed in a simple shift nightdress. It looked like something from medieval times. It hugged her breasts gently, likely a size smaller than intended. Once Aalis was finished braiding her hair, she got up and turned down the blankets on the bed.

"Sence will be up shortly with your dinner. Is there anything else I can do for you, Hitomi?" Aalis asked before heading towards the door.

"No, thank you for everything," Hitomi replied. She walked with Aalis towards the antechamber and curled up in one of the chairs before the fire.

Van was pacing his study. He felt amped up and couldn't seem to settle enough to sit. He had sent word for Merle, Dryden, and Chid to join him. Patience had never been one of his virtues, and he struggled to wait for them to arrive. He wanted them here now. He could hardly believe that Hitomi was here and so close to him. He remembered their flight and the feeling of holding her in his arms. He marvelled at how quickly he had picked up loving her again; it was like being struck by lightning a second time.

"Lord Van?" Merle questioned from the door before rushing to embrace him.

"Merle!" Van smiled, relieved that she was finally here.

"Where did you go, Lord Van?" Merle whined against his ear.

"I'd like to know that as well," Dryden said, leaning against the door frame, half-blocking Chid, who stood closely behind.

"Come in and sit; I think this will take a while and is a little hard to believe," Van gestured for them to sit.

Once they had all settled in, Van leaned against the edge of the fireplace. "I went to the Mystic Moon."

"What? Was this planned? Why didn't you tell anyone?" Merle exclaimed.

"It was not planned. Hitomi was in trouble and needed help." Van replied. He was trying to be as delicate about the situation as possible. He did not want to share a story that was not his to share.

"So, the seeress has returned with you, I take it?" Dryden chuckled. It is about time if you ask me. My wife will be sorely disappointed that she sent me in her place."

"Hitomi! Hitomi is here?" Chid exclaimed, sitting more forward in his chair. He had nothing but pleasant memories of the seeress and was excited to see her again.

Only Merle stayed quiet. It wasn't that she wasn't excited to see Hitomi again. She missed her friend. However, she could already tell that Lord Van was smitten by her a second time. Merle had been there to pick up the pieces the last time Hitomi left, but she was not looking forward to doing it again. Merle could only hope that if Hitomi was back, she could reciprocate Lord Van's feelings and would stay this time.

"Yes, Hitomi is here. I have her resting right now. You will be able to see her tomorrow." Van clarified but the joy in his voice was apparent to anyone who knew him well.

"Where is Hitomi staying?" Merle tried to ask innocently, but she was afraid that she already knew the answer.

"Across the corridor from you." Van responded.

"But that's…" Merle started but was quickly cut off.

"Yes, I'm aware. Now I want to hear about what I missed while I was away." Van said decisively. He shot Merle a glance that said their conversation about Hitomi's accommodation was over.

As promised, Sence had brought Hitomi her dinner. The meal had been deliciously warm. Hitomi had forgotten how good the food on Gaea was, well except for the grub-like creatures that she had been forced to eat while camping. The bread had been both perfectly soft and crusty. Her soup warmed her very soul. She was satiated but bored, she was not accustomed to being left undistracted and alone with her thoughts. She always had a device and work to quiet her mind. Now, she was stuck thinking through what happened.

Hitomi couldn't help but think about Ren and wondered what happened to him after she disappeared to Gaea. She surmised that he probably ended up picking up a bridesmaid, he seemed like the type. She tried to not think about Van or the sense of relief she had felt when he had shown up on Earth. It wasn't just because someone had saved her, it was because it was him. Hitomi was not ready to unpack what all that meant. Getting out of her chair, she headed to the windows and looked up at her home. She had expected to feel the same pang of homesickness she felt the first time she was on Gaea, but she felt nothing. Hitomi wondered if anyone would miss her. Sadly, she didn't think anyone would. Her family was fine without her. Her life in London still felt temporary, she had no friends, and her life revolved around her work. She supposed that Janet would notice she was gone but wouldn't miss her in the way she was craving. Closing the curtains decisively, she walked to the bed and curled under the blankets. She did not want to think anymore tonight. Willing her eyes closed, she pretended to be asleep until her breathing evened out and she fell asleep for real.