Jack took his final step off the staircase and looked around the hotel lobby. It was even more empty than usual. He was well aware where Princess Charlie and Vaggie were. The Princess had stopped by his room to inform him that she would be in her room brainstorming tomorrow's lesson plan. And Jack could only surmise that Vaggie had joined her to make sure her liege actually went to bed on time so she could actually lead the lesson. That seemed to be the usual status of events.

But without those two, the lobby was practically a ghost town. Pentious was probably trying to build another doomsday weapon in his room to defeat Jack in combat- he often bragged about that. And Nifty was probably scuttling through the walls trying to stab the cockroaches. Jack thought she was an oversized rat when he heard her the first time, and he apologized profusely when he stabbed the walls trying to do amateur pest control (but she seemed to oddly enjoy the experience... she enjoyed it a little too much, really.)

There were only two souls in the lobby apart from Jack. Husk was sitting at the bar per usual, but now he was passed out over the side, a bottle still clutched in his hands. Jack wanted to shake his head, but such behavior should honestly be expected by now.

The only other conscious soul in the lobby was none other than Angel Dust. The adult actor was lounging across the couch in the hotel parlor, mindlessly scrolling on his phone. The hotel resident clearly didn't have much to do until his job called him in.

Jack made his way over to the main double doors of the hotel, the only noticeable entrance or exit. Halfway down the carpet, he turned to Angel. "If the princess has need to know where I am, tell her that I have gone to take care of business within the city. I will return after sundown."

Technically, it was pentagram down, but Jack knew Angel understood what he meant. Jack might even be back before then, but it was better to prepare for being late rather than early.

"Sure," Angel only briefly glanced up from his screen to acknowledge the samurai. "So what dead end to the past are you looking after this time? You see an ad for it right next to the promise of hot single milfs in your area? Because let me warn ya, that Carmilla chick ain't interested."

Jack winced. That hurt more than it should have. His search for a way home has… not been going ideal. "No, not today. I am actually going to check on some… companions about their business."

"Business?" Angel Dust's head actually began to perk up. "What possible business could a goody-two shoes virgin like you possibly have in Pentagram City?"

Jack's nerves tensed, his grip shifted to his sword and took a deep breath. It did not do him good to think too long on the dealings of I.M.P. "That is none of your concern."

"Oh no, I'm way too interested now," Angel sat up on the couch. "Even if you leave, you're gonna have to come back, and I'll just keeping bugging you about this."

"And I see that same strategy has worked you wonders in getting Husk to sleep with you."

"Touché," Angel shrugged. "But all the more reason to just get it over with and tell me."

Jack sighed, Angel honestly seemed like he wouldn't let this go. And Jack was a bit too rude with that earlier remark. Perhaps he could just lightly satiate the spider's curiosity.

"There are some… imps that I occasionally collaborate with," Jack was careful not to reveal what the imps do. "You've probably heard, but they are capable of opening portals to the human realm."

Angel Dust froze. "What?"

"They travel to the human world to conduct their business," Jack explained. "And sometimes, when I can afford it, I go with them. I… keep them in check and ensure they are peaceful… for the most part."

He felt disgusting just referencing it. But this was the compromise he had made, and he had to see it through.

"Wait, hold on," Angel rubbed the temples of the head. "You've got access to the living world? And you go there regularly?"

"Yes," Jack nodded. "And I know what you are thinking. But the world I'm traveling to is far different than my own. I explained this before-"

"I don't give a shit about that," Angel scoffed. "Do you not realize what this means?"

Jack blinked. He briefly racked his brain for what Angel could be referencing. Nothing came up. "Uh… what?"

"Do you not realize how lucky you are?" Angel stood up. "What a golden opportunity you have?"

Jack shifted uncomfortably. Did Angel want him to kill someone up top? No, that couldn't be. Angel and the others mentioned how he died over fifty years ago. Anyone he could have wanted vengeance on would be long gone by now.

"You can do something no other sinner can do," Angel walked over to Jack, taking firm hold of the samurai's shoulder. "You can go up there and bring back the GOOD shit."

Jack's eyes narrowed. He brushed the hand off his shoulder. "I will not buy drugs for you, Angel."

"Hah!" Angel threw his head back. "Trust me, Jacky, Hell is FAR from running out of the devil's dandruff. What I'm talking about is something far more valuable and something far more rare in this literal Hellhole."

Angel lowered his head, heterochromatic eyes. "Something event ms. High and Mighty princess can't get her hands on."

Jack's mouth felt suddenly very dry. He swallowed a mouthful of saliva. "And what is this treasure?"

Angel grinned.

Jack cleared his throat. "Hello, I would like to buy a-" He looked down at the little notecard in his hand, squinting his eyes as he tried to decide if he was reading his English correctly. "A… movie?"

A clerk behind the counter looked up from his computer. He gave Jack a deadpan glare before looking behind the samurai towards the rows upon rows of shelves housing near hundreds of DVDs and even vintage VHSs. He turned back to Jack. "You're shitting me."

"Er- no, I don't think so." Jack fiddled with the paper in his hands. "But there is a distinct possibility that I have been deceived for comical purposes. I apologize."

The employee sighed, obviously unable to muster up the annoyance needed to deal with a prankster like Jack. He leaned back into his swivel chair. "Akira Kurosawa's towards the back in the black and white section."

"Oh! Thank you, but…" Jack continued to fidget. "I, um, am not quite sure if that is what my… friend wanted."

"Well, then what did he want?" The employee sat up. "C'mon, man, gimme a name."

"Uh," Jack looked the paper over and over, as if it would suddenly make sense on the thirteenth read-around. "I'm not sure. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what a movie IS. Nor why one would want an entire movie about girls being mean to one another."

The clerk blinked. "Let me see that."

Jack handed him the slip of paper. The clerk looked it over for less than a second before his eyes widened in recognition. "Okay, I got this, follow me."

The employee stood up and walked out from behind the counter. Jack followed dutifully and silently. The employee took the samurai down the aisle of DVDs before stopping in the middle. The clerk raised a finger to the rows and rows of colorful boxes, counting off from a mental list before picking up one box with a predominantly pink cover.

"Here you go, that should be what you're looking for," the employee handed the box to Jack. He then turned back to the shelves and grabbed two more boxes. "And hey, if you're really that new to movies, I'd recommend these. They're pretty good for a first timer."

"Thank you," Jack nodded as he took his new treasures. "How can I ever repay you?"

"I mean we take cash or credit. Haven't gotten the Venmo set up yet." The clerk shrugged.

"Yes, money, of course." Jack nodded. "The princess gave me some when I informed her of my quest."

Jack reached into his robes and pulled out the stacks of green paper he had been lent. He mentally counted the bills one after another. "Um, how many movies is $12,000 worth?"

This is more what I meant when it came to these shorts. Just something short and sweet. And a cute 'what if' of no consequence for Jack to go on. Maybe this is a little too short, but I've got a sequel cooking up in the back of my brain. And don't you guys worry, chapter 10 of the main story is being written as we speak. I know, I know, it should honestly be done by now, but it's hard planning out what's basically a new episode of the show. (Yes, that was your basic confirmation that chapter 10 won't be following an episode of either show.)

Plus that Halloween special really went on a lot longer than I intended. And it admittedly got a lot more crackfic towards the end. But hey, like I said, you can just say the more crackish chapters aren't canon. Because honestly, I don't think that will be the last one.

Like I said, these shorts are just to have fun. The more serious stuff is for the main story, but not every chapter here will be crack as you can see from this chapter and the first. And I'll probably bring in more crossover characters if I feel the chapter calls for it to. It'll be pretty 50/50 so just be patient if you prefer one half over the other.

Until next time,

Thanks for reading!