Stupid Forbidden Love

"Why are you covering your head?" Viper asked. "She's blind remember?"

"She uses other senses."

"Hmm." Viper quietly mused. Po and the snake caught up with the others on their sunset-lit journey. Another mission, but the team side-glanced the panda and snake keeping up the rear. Swirling around the rocky mountain path that hugged a ridge, Tigress and Crane stared at the hooded panda tightly clutching his black cloak.

"Why are you hiding yourself, Po?" Crane asked.

"Uh... just making sure that I don't really... cause too much attention. I mean, Dragon Warrior is pretty well-known around here so... just want to be careful."

Tai Lung covered a throaty chuckle, "Yes, of course, we wouldn't want someone to notice a 6-foot panda hugging a cloak over his body."

"Don't worry about him, guys," Viper spoke up. "If Po wants to stay like that, let him."

"You sure it's not because we're going to a brothel?" Monkey sniggered. The snake slapped the back of the simian's head with her tail.

"That's enough, Monkey!"

"Alright, geez."

Tigress stared at her hissing friend. "Why are you on board with this, Viper?"

"Because I know why Po's doing this. And it makes sense."

"Tell me again why we're going to this brothel?" Po asked.

"The Worldly Brothel will have some information on Princess Maoqi's kidnappers," Tigress explained. "Last time anyone saw her, she came through here. The brothel hostess may have more information."

"Strange that a princess would even be in this area," Viper murmured.

Tai Lung glanced back at Po nervously shifting his eyes from side to side. He sighed to the other feline. "Do you think Po and Viper should go inside with us?"

"I can understand Po but why Viper?"

"Innocence?"

Tigress smirked, "Viper has seen women before, Tai Lung.

"But women like this?"

"I think we'll be fine. Besides, it will look suspicious if we left those two by the bouncer."

Tai Lung nodded as they journeyed on. They came to the foot of a gloomy dark mountain. Gravel stood under their feet as they came to the base of a rocky gray peak jutting into the clouds above. The growing darkness was interrupted by the few red lanterns embedded into the rock around the door. A few chariots, carriages, and wagons were parked outside a large metallic door guarded by a big gorilla covered from head to toe in metal armor. It looked like the Royal Chinese Army's armor. Tigress noticed that Po clutched his hood closer to his head. Then she looked on the ground.

"Where's Viper?"

"Here I am," Viper peered out of Po's hood.

"Why are you hiding?" Tai Lung asked.

"Just keeping Po calm. He seems nervous," Viper smiled warmly. The snow leopard and tiger looked at each other. Tai Lung shrugged as they approached the door. A glaring, snorting gorilla guard with a spear in their hand.

"Let me try and talk with this guy," Monkey whispered to the others.

"Oh no," Tai Lung groaned.

The simian proudly walked up and stood at attention. "Greetings my good sir."

"Ma'am," Grunted the gorilla, "It's ma'am."

"Ohh uhhh well umm."

Tai Lung grabbed the simian by the tail and tossed him behind him. "Smooth, primate. Time for plan B." Tai Lung grunted. He stopped and had a rare moment of genius. "Tigress, why don't you speak with the kind lady here?"

"Why wasn't that Plan A?!" Mantis and Crane exclaimed.

The tiger shook her head and approached the guard. "My name is Tigress, I am part of the Furious Five of the Jade Palace. We're here to find information about the missing princess Maoqi."

"I know," The guard gruffly answered.

"You do?"

"I am Wenrou, guard of the Worldly Brothel. I know about the latest news before the girls do. And Hostess Yun doesn't want to be bothered with politics. She has other issues to deal with."

"Please, someone's life is at stake."

"Someone's life is always at stake," The guard grumbled. "This world takes advantage of you. No matter what you do. Just leave."

"We can't do that," Tigress grunted. A cloaked panda gently tapped Tigress's shoulder and whispered into her ear. "What, why?" She murmured with narrowed eyes. Po didn't answer. He and Viper just stared at her from the cover of their disguise.

The tiger sighed, "The princess is just a young girl, Wenrou. She's probably scared, waiting for her family. Wherever that is."

Wenrou's head jerked back. She stayed silent for a moment. Sighing, she pushed the metal door open. "Remember this. Hostess Yun doesn't take kindly to rude comments, so make sure that your men are on their best behavior."

"Hey!" Crane, Mantis, and Monkey protested.

"We'll see to it," Tai Lung bowed. The gorilla gave a slight nod and watched them enter the room. The last one was the cloaked animal. Wenrou stared a little longer before closing the door behind her.

Exotically dressed female animals of all kinds strutted about in long eye-catching robes. The room was filled with the smoke of incense and perfume. Red walls and pillars led to hallways of private rooms and venues where muffled sounds of pleasure made Crane blush. Pillows stood around the pillars with women whispering and glancing at the team. Tai Lung leaned near to Tigress, "They're worried."

"What makes you say that?" She whispered.

"They're not giggling."

"Have you ever been to a brothel? They're not always happy to see people of authority."

"Still, we have a nervous quirky crane and a panda. I thought that was more popular with women," Tai Lung said. It wasn't an unreasonable assumption.

The wall at the end of the hall had a red cloth tapestry with a golden dragon. In front of it, a large elephant woman sat on a throne with two servants fanning her body. She had a pinkish blush on her white powdered face. A light cherry blossom dress flowed down her body atop the crimson carpet below.

Bowing, Tigress spoke first. "Hostess Yun."

The elephant stared into nothingness. She shifted her head. The tiger found the elephant's eyes cloudy. For a moment, Tigress thought she couldn't hear well until the elephant spoke in a big controlled voice. "You are not one of my girls. What are you doing here?"

"I am Master Tigress from the Jade Palace. I'm here with the Furious Five and-" Po suddenly rested a hand on her shoulder. She saw the hidden panda and viper shook their heads. "I'm... here with the Furious Five."

"I hear six."

"Hear?"

"I'm blind, my child, but I have other senses," The elephant mentioned. She lifted a hoof. The two servants, both snow leopards, stopped what they were doing and stood at her sides. "And what are you doing here in my domain?"

"We're here to ask some questions. It's about the missing princess Maoqi," Tigress explained. Hostess Yun slowly struggled to get up. The servants helped her up to her feet. The elephant stood tall over all of them, making Crane gulp.

"You have a bird with you," Yun stated.

"Uhhh yes. How did you-"

"A bird's gulp typically takes longer. My ears are very sensitive, child," Yun interrupted, "As is my nose. Now I want to know how using my guard's weakness for troubled little girls got you in." Her nose closely hovered over the cloaked figure but did not touch him. Monkey and Crane grimaced and squirmed as her long nasal trunk swirled around them as she gingerly walked around. "I smell deception."

"Hostess Yun, please," Tigress said, "We need your help. Princess Maoqi has been kidnapped and-"

"That is none of my concern," Yun grunted, slowly moving back to her chair. She slightly stumbled, but the cloaked figure reached out and gently helped her back up. "Hm... Thank you."

Po said nothing. He simply walked her back to the chair, letting her rest. He bowed silently and walked back to the others. "Hmm. I never took you warriors to be the extremely silent type," Yun commented.

"Especially not him," Tai Lung muttered.

"But my answer still stands. We have issues of our own to deal with. One of our girls was kidnapped as well, Rua."

"They might share the same kidnapper."

The elephant shook her head. "Impossible. We know Rua's kidnapper. Woo Sun. The brute in the region. He wasn't a problem before but... things have changed drastically since... we've grown smaller in number. Though he usually leaves us alone."

"If we help you find her, would you help us find Maoqi?" Tai Lung asked.

"No."

"No, you won't help us?"

"No, I won't allow you to help," Yun muttered. "Your priority is this Maoqi girl, not mine. And I've had a bad history of trusting palace warriors, except two."

"Hostess Yun," Tigress spoke, "You have my honor as a Kung Fu warrior that we-"

"Honor means nothing to me, child. Especially with the work I do. I am sorry. Now go. If you must find someone to chase, Woo Sun might know who took your princess, but I don't expect him to be bold or stupid enough to steal a palace child. And I don't expect you to help us."

"We will, Hostess Yun, I promise," Tigress said. The blind elephant's face didn't change. Tigress felt disappointment from the elephant. The kind that felt similar to Shifu's.

Tai Lung rested a hand on her shoulder, stopping Tigress from trying to prove herself. "Let's leave, we've bothered her long enough," He whispered.

"Your feline friend is right," Yun announced. Tigress sighed as they headed to the door where Wenrou was already waiting for their exit.

Just then, one of the girls on the pillows sneezed.

"Bless you," Viper whispered. Po quickly clapped his hand over her lips.

Yun's cloudy eyes grew wide. She grabbed a knife from her bosom and tossed it with expert precision at the door.

"YIPE!" Po shouted as he ducked, dodging the knife. It flung over his head and stuck straight into the gravel outside. The poor panda and snake tried to hide among their friends, but the team had spread out to defend themselves. "Uh Oh."

Hostess Yun stood up, glaring at the door as if she could see. "PO PING! VIPER!" she bellowed in a voice that shook the earth.

Tigress and Tai Lung spun their heads to Po who slowly stood up with Viper around his neck. Cheesy nervous grins were plastered on their faces. "Heyy Mama Yun," The panda nervously chuckled.

The girls all gasped and rushed towards them, grabbing Po and Viper. The others were about to leap in and save them.

But.

"Oh, we've missed you so much! Where have you been?! Oh, you've grown so much since the last time I saw you! Viper, how is your mother? Do you still do dresses? Oh, it's so good to see you two again! Have you eaten, Po?!" The ladies chattered and flooded the panda and snake with questions like a flock of old grannies smothering the new babies.

"Ladies, ladies, it's fine, I'm fine," Po chuckled.

"Poooo!"

"Oh no, Wenrou! No hugs OOHH!" The big gorilla nearly broke Po in a massive hug before putting him down. "Ohhh there goes my back," Po groaned.

"Yes, I do still like clothing. But I get someone else to... no I'm still around... I just... well," Viper was answering her own set of questions before a loud clap called everyone to attention. Po and Viper came up to the elephant and bowed their heads.

"I thought I smelled Mr. Ping's noodles," Yun frowned. "Why did you two come in disguised?"

Viper's eyes darted away from Yun's somehow probing eyes while Po rubbed the back of his neck. "We... didn't want to be embarrassed."

The girls gasped.

"You're ashamed of having... harlots as friends?" asked a small lizard on the verge of tears.

"No, no, that's not what Po meant," Viper quickly said.

"We... we just wanted to get the info without being buttered up like this," Po said, gently resting a hand on Yun's hand while brushing the side of her cheek. He wiped away a tear streaming down her powdered face. "You all know I'm not ashamed to call you guys my family. But you've got to admit you guys do go... a bit much on the reunions. Especially you Wenrou! My spine still needs a doctor!"

"Mine too," Viper hissed wearily.

"Hahahahaha! Sorry," The big gorilla laughed, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Are you seeing this?" Tai Lung asked. Tigress only shook her head in amazement.

The crowd continued asking Po and Viper a bunch of questions that neither of them could answer in the fullest. "Yes, Ms. Ai, I'm still with my dad. No, Bai, he's not looking for anyone. He still just loves noodles." Suddenly, a little orange fox wrapped her small arms around his gut. "Uhhh hello, who are you?"

"You don't remember little Gangin?" Wenrou laughed.

Viper and Po's eyes widened. "This is little Gangin? Au Yin's baby?! You've grown so much! How long have I been gone?!" the panda exclaimed. The Worldly Brothel suddenly became silent. "Uh oh."

"It's been about five years since you and Viper have been here," Mama Yun uttered firmly. The group of women dispersed as the elephant lady struggled to get up. Viper and Po quickly came to her sides and gently motioned her to rest. "Mmm, still as caring as ever."

"Mama Yun, what happened?" Viper asked.

"When you two were stationed here for an investigation, you two became part of our family. Well, you did, Viper. Little Po was always part of our group," Yun smiled.

"How?" Tai Lung whispered to Tigress.

"Mr. Ping would often come to this area for supplies. One of my girls was a chef friend of his, but he didn't know," Yun answered the snow leopard. Her cloudy eyes narrowed at Po. "Did you ever tell your father about us?"

"Nope, he still thinks you guys are... a group of female cooks."

The girls giggled as Mama Yun chortled in a laugh that shook the place.

Viper glanced at Po across Yun's body and gave a serious nod. The panda rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "But we do need to talk. What's this about Woo Sun? I thought he was still a wannabe little bully for you guys last time we were here."

"Little boars grow quickly. But he didn't use to pick on my girls until he took Rua," Yun sighed. "We tried to stop him, but Wenrou wasn't here to help." The female gorilla bowed her head. "I don't blame you, my little guard. You couldn't have known he would attack during your family visit."

"But I wasn't at my post," Wenrou said, bowing to the ground. "I'm eternally sorry I-"

"Being sorry isn't going to get Maoqi or Rua back," Po swiftly said. "We need to find Woo Sun. Where is he?"

"Over the mountain near the southeast swamps," Yun replied.

"What does Rua look like?" Viper asked.

"Small, brownish fur, a ferret-badger."

"We'll bring her back along with the princess," Po promised. Yun nodded, but her eyes squinted. "What's wrong, Mama Yun?"

"I still can't believe Woo Sun would try something so brazen. He's not bold enough to kidnap both your princess AND one of my girls. Not at the same time. Your feline friend said she was last seen around here. What species was this princess of yours?"

"A mongoose," Viper answered. The girls started whispering amongst each other. "What's wrong?"

"They're saying that Rua had a client around here that was a mongoose. She was particularly fond of her."

Po's eyes lit up and he facepalmed. "Ooooooooooh no. Not again."

"What?" Viper asked. Po didn't answer, he simply rubbed the bridge of his nose like Tigress would whenever she was annoyed.

"Did Woo Sun hurt anyone when he came?" He asked in a grunt.

"No, in fact he only went for Rua. No one else," Yun answered.

Po dragged his fingers down his face and sighed, "Of course. That's why."

"What is it, Po?" Wenrou asked.

"I'll tell you guys when I get back. Right now, we need to get Woo Sun and figure out where the girls are." Viper nodded and followed the panda out.

"And next time, don't you dare try to hide your plump tush from me, panda," Yun shouted, making all the girls laugh while the panda hid his face in embarrassment.

"Next time, don't throw a knife at my head!" Po shouted back. The girls laughed louder as the team left the brothel. "Come on, we have to get to the other side of the mountain while it's still dark."

"Hold up!" Monkey held up his hands, "Why didn't you guys tell us you knew-"

"Women from a brothel?" Viper finished as she slithered around Po's neck. "Because most of you don't know how to control yourselves around women. Crane gets nervous, Monkey makes rude comments, and Mantis is too loud. Tai Lung is just... Tai Lung."

"Hey!" Crane, Mantis, and Monkey exclaimed. Tai Lung only shrugged with a small nod.

Tigress crossed her arms. "And you two didn't tell me because?"

Po sighed, "Look, we've had to defend those girls for a while. Warriors like you and Shifu typically don't get along with women like them. We're not saying you're uncaring, but we... didn't know how you would react. Let's get going." The others followed, but Tigress found herself stuck.

"What's wrong?" Tai Lung asked.

"Am I... that judgmental?"

"I think they're just protective. It seems like they've had to defend the women's honor for a while."

"That doesn't explain why they didn't tell me."

"Nosy?" Tai Lung smirked at the growling tiger, "If I had to guess, they were worried that you would reject that part of their family. That part of them."

"Like I rejected Po," Tigress quietly said. She shook her head and sighed, "Come on, let's get going." The snow leopard nodded and followed after the others.

The midnight wind grew muggy as they neared the swamps. Light fog clouded the air. Water lapped around wooden huts, and crocodiles and boars lazily snored in the night. One of them, the biggest, snored loudly until a sudden commotion woke him up. The sound of his men shouting rung in his ears. He grabbed a large spiked club by his bed and ran out the door. "Alright, who's ACKK!"

A firm hand quickly grasped his neck and forced him into the wall, knocking the club out of his hand. His eyes found the intense rage of a jade-eyed panda. "Ahh! Who are you?"

"Aww, you don't remember us, Woo Sun?" Po said with terrifying seriousness. Viper slithered around the panda's arm and hissed venomously at Woo Sun. "Surely you remember Viper."

"P-P-Po?"

"Ah, you remember," Po smirked, squeezing the boar's neck tighter.

"Po, don't kill him," Tai Lung said.

"Don't worry, I'll think of something worse."

"Okay! Okay! This is about the ferret-badger?" Woo Sun stuttered.

"And the mongoose," Viper said.

The boar's eyes widened. "Mongoose?! I only kidnapped one of them! She said-"

"Ahh," Po smiled, releasing the boar's neck. "So I was right. Where are they?"

"I don't know! I swear! They wouldn't tell me in case-"

"We came looking for them," Po finished. "Which direction did they go?"

"S-Southeast east. Following the river," Woo Sun quickly said.

"Ah, I know where they are. The girls often talked about that place," Po glared hotly at the boar. "Get out of my sight, and if you do anything to the girls again, you'll find that Viper has something worse than fangs to hurt people." The snake hissed at the shivering boar. The panda and the team walked off the swamp hut and headed down the river. The worried stares and side glances of the team made no sound as the swamp disappeared behind them.

"Wow, Po. I... didn't think you had that much uh... brutality," Tai Lung said after a long moment of silence.

"Woo Sun is big talk. You just have to know how to scare him," Po sighed, "But I think I know what happened."

"Mind sharing with the class," Monkey asked.

"Not until we find the princess and Rua," Po said. "And Viper? Try not to be too mad."

The serpent rose her eyelid. "Why would I be mad?"

"Because I think you've been through this before," Po sighed. The river before them slowly changed from a swampy low land into a slight incline with level plains and sparse trees. Soon the sharp green-covered mountains blanketed the land, dotting and bending the river's path. One of these mountains hid a small house nestled at its foot. There stood two females, a ferret-badger and a mongoose, folding clothes and sewing. Viper, sitting around Po's neck, started hissing venomously. "Viper, calm down. They don't need to-"

"Shut it," Viper hissed and launched off the panda's body. Sighing, Po rolled his eyes and trudged up the house's hill. Soon, the ferret-badger and the mongoose saw the approaching snake. The badger stood in front of the mongoose.

"Stay behind me, Maoqi. I'll protect you."

"Rua, please, don't-"

"Are you out of your mind!" Viper shouted, slithering up with rage. "Do you know what you've done!?"

"Whatever you want from me, Ma'am," said the Mongoose, "I promise that Rua didn't have-"

"I'm coming back to you later, young lady! This one is the one I'm disciplining!" Viper snapped, pointing her tail at Rua.

"Wh-What?"

Po and the others finally made their way up the hill, and the panda crossed his arms. "So I get the romance, the planned kidnapping, and using Woo Sun because he doesn't keep records of what he steals. You kidnapped yourself because you didn't want Mama Yun to find out. But why did you get yourself kidnapped, princess?" Po asked.

Maoqi hung her head. "I... I was to be wedded off to someone else."

"So because you got scared," Viper pointed to Rua, "you pulled off this stupid stunt and told no one?!"

"Who are you to judge me!?" Rua barked.

"This is Viper," Po stated, "The former dresser for Mama Yun's girls. And I'm Po. Remember me?"

The ferret-badger paled. "Uhh... yeah. I do," Rua sighed, "Please, we didn't know what to do. I thought that Mama Yun would... it's just that... we love each other and-"

"Love isn't just feelings! Feelings don't work long-term," Viper hissed. She looked at the mongoose. "I won't be as harsh on you, princess, because you're unaware of this, but this brash decision-making isn't right. You have enough training and common sense to know that this is wrong. You put Rua in greater danger because of your position!" Maoqi bowed her head. Viper's glare turned onto the ferret-badger. "But you know better. You've seen for yourself what happens when men and women do things off of feeling alone!"

Po finally spoke up, "Any good relationship will have a knock-on effect. A good relationship will make other ones awesome and cut off bad ones. But you've tossed good relationships aside to go after this one, Rua."

"I didn't want Mama Yun to be upset!" Rua argued.

"So the next option was to make her worried for the rest of her life, worrying every single girl there, and risking capture AND execution if the royal guards figure this out!?" Viper shot back. Rua hung her head. "The truth is you didn't trust Mama Yun would understand. And you didn't want to be told no. You didn't even givedi her the dignity to say no. You were dishonest, distrusting, and disrespectful to her."

"And that's not good for her or Maoqi," Po said.

"What do you mean?" Rua asked, still shielding the others from the princess.

"If you're willing to do this with your longest relationships, what proof does Maoqi have that you won't do the same with her?" The two lovers stared at each other with long frowns, worried about their seemingly bright future. Po sighed and stepped forward, blocking Viper's dissipating rage from them. The panda knelt at their height. "Alright, I think that's enough discipline for now. What both of you did was wrong. You two need to make it right."

"They won't allow us to be together, Po," Rua said. "Once they have the princess back, they'll keep her under lock and key."

The panda rose his eyebrow. "And you think Mama Yun hasn't dealt with something like this?" The ferret-badger blinked before bowing her head. A scaly tail slowly lifted her head.

"You messed up. Now it's time to atone," Viper said firmly yet somehow kindly. "I don't know what your relationship will be like, but right now, it's off to a very rocky start. If you two truly love each other, you'll have to be willing to go through the ugly with each other. So forget every single fantasy that you thought of this relationship and every nightmare of being separated. You two need to deal with the present."

Rua fell to her knees and covered her face with her hands. "I'm... I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Po smiled, wrapping his arms around her. "But it's not us you have to say sorry to."

Continued...