lillyannp: Thanks so much! For now we go back to Kosuke, but we will return to Kyoya next chapter!
Guest: Thanks so much! :)
bored411: It's like a trauma conga line.
Xipilzuma: Ahhhh, thanks so much! It's not easy juggling this stuff, sometimes I very nearly forget super important details lol
Akari. Wolf. Princess: Hoo boy this story would be sooooooooooooo bleak if it turned out Jin was dying. The cool thing about writing a story with two protagonists is that when they get into an argument I feel like you're not just one-hundred-percent with one or the other. You know what all they've been through so you can see where they're coming from, whether you agree with them or not. I'm a sucker for opposites attract romances! I love it when the two people are polar opposites yet have so much in common...Thanks so much for the review!
Kosuke finds that cooking when she's upset helps. The kitchen is where she feels the most at home. Chopping up vegetables and stirring soup in a pot is the same to her as sinking into a warm bath.
Still, she has to be a certain kind of upset to cook. There's "sad" upset and then there's "angry" upset. "Sad" upset is the one she's most familiar with. When she worries about their future savings, when she has those days where for some reason she just misses Okina and Kohta so much, and time and time again remembering those happy, warm days when her parents were still living and laughing...Did making takoyaki magically fix them? No. But it helps distract her.
Now, when a stranger knocks on the front door to screech about how OUTRAGED they are that they're indefinitely closed and that their entire vacation is ruined, when she has to clean crayon off of the walls because Hitsuji will not stop drawing on them, and when she remembers the loan shark and his stupid greasy smile or the Blue Suit and his disgusting clammy hand on her arm...Kosuke stays away from the kitchen when she's that kind of upset. The anger always comes out in the food.
She's stuck with this for over a year now. This morning, she is breaking tradition. She is cooking omelets and thinking about her argument with Kyoya at the same time.
So she is cooking and she is furious.
She almost obliterates an egg cracking it open, she nearly crushes the whisk in her bare hand, and she honestly thinks she might as well turn off the stovetop because she has plenty of heat coming off of her own skin.
When he was cold to her at the dinner, she gave him the benefit of the doubt. When he left, she put it upon herself to try and make amends. But now? Now, after that honest-to-God lecture that gave her flashbacks to when her teachers scolded her for talking in class? No. No, no, no. If that guy wants them to be on civil turns, it's going to be on him, because she's not making any efforts anymore.
Just—okay. Kosuke doesn't like to "brag" about what she's been through. When Haruhi complains to her that she's lost her favorite pair of socks in the wash, does Kosuke start screaming about how much worse she has it, that Haruhi's dad is still alive and she doesn't have two kids to take care of and a loan shark to deal with and a stranger to marry and a whole company to run? No, because that's stupid. Everyone has their own personal struggles, and screaming "But mine are worse!" won't make her look like the martyr who made someone open their eyes and appreciate how good they have it. It'll make her look like a brat who's so bitter that she pretends that her problems are the only things in the world.
But just...just...All this crap that she has had to deal with for so long now, and Kyoya's all wound up because she might make him look bad?
She'll reiterate what she said before: second-hand embarrassment is not worse than first-hand embarrassment. Did he really think that standing there speechless like an idiot while people asked her questions that should be no-brainers to her made her proud? Did he think that she looked forward to being shoved into the spotlight without a script like that?
Also, way to show some sympathy there, Kyoya! Take a look at this person who is so very clearly struggling, who is trying her best but has to deal with so much in such a short amount of time. Watch as she's humiliated in front of a crowd of strangers and ask yourself: How is this going to affect me?
And walking out of their dinner? Now Kosuke isn't just going to forgive and forget that. He doesn't just get to pick and choose when "image matters." Walking out of their dinner like Kosuke has a horrible odor that he can't stand any longer! Oh, sure, that's just great. Being unable to talk about a subject she hasn't had two seconds to learn about? Unacceptable.
She's not accepting that apology, either. If it was physically painful for him to say it, it wasn't an apology.
Sometimes—sometimes—Kosuke has to admit, it does make her the "sad" kind of upset. She doesn't want this for the rest of her life. Call her a hopeless romantic, but when she used to think of her married future, she imagined her husband coming up behind her to kiss her on the cheek while she was cooking breakfast for them, crawling under the covers and snuggling into his arms, all those stupid-sappy things they did in the romcoms, like randomly slow-dancing for no reason. Not going at each other's throats like rabid animals fighting over a kill.
Then she goes through their conversation again and she goes right back to being "angry" upset.
Which reminds her: she quickly takes the pan off the heat and brings it over to the plate. She just very nearly burned Minami's omelet and Kosuke Nakahara does not burn good food. On top of that, she doubts the chefs want her in here any longer, even if they're taking the time to do early lunch prep or not. The kids had begged—on their knees—for her specifically to make omelets. The kitchen staff stepped aside and let her use the kitchen, but the stink-eye was abundant.
She's come to the dining room for breakfast for several days now and the image of Hitsuji and Minami sitting at the colossal table still unnerves her. Everything about this place still does. She feels like she's sleeping in an art museum and not a house. It's just too big, it's just too much, no matter how many times she reminds herself that other people have it much worse.
She set down Hitsuji's (ham and cheese) and Minami's (ham and mushrooms) and finally sits down to eat her own (French-style, with gruyere cheese and chives, a recipe she's been wanting to try for so long now.) She sits down on the other side of them, feeling like she's too far away. If she can block everything else, then it can seem like a normal family breakfast.
"So," she says, putting on her best everything-is-normal smile. "What are you guys going to do today?"
Hitsuji answers through a bite of omelet, "We're making pots!"
"Pots?"
"Pots!" Hitsuji drops his fork and starts lifting his hands up and down, as if wet clay is spinning between them.
Minami says, "Someone named Mister Joji is going to come to our music class and show us how he plays the violin."
See, back home, Hitsuji's arts and crafts were simple things like finger-painted paper plates and paper necklaces and toilet paper rolls that looked like little people. Nowadays, he does pottery. And for recess, he can ride around the playground on the 210,000-yen bike that each child gets. And since yesterday was Thursday, they all got to go to the swimming pool! The indoor heated swimming pool! The indoor heated swimming pool with a miniature water park, which was also indoor!
Minami is too young to know it, but "Mister Joji" just so happens to be Joji Takashima, the world-renowned violinist whose most recent concert at Suntory Hall sold out of tickets within twelve seconds of their availability. In science, part of their studies includes taking care of their class pet: a palm cockatoo, which, according to a quick internet search, can cost upwards of 1,600,000 yen. They also have their own playground, the centerpiece of which is an absolutely safe but nevertheless daunting five-story jungle gym with six rope bridges and three twenty-feet slides. Other features of this playground include twenty spring horses that have all been hand-painted by French artist Hippolyte Favre-Jaccoud and a thirty-seat carousel the size of a boat.
This is their new normal. Of course, they are always over-the-moon about every delight the new day brings—Minami begged her to come with her one time just to look at the carousel, she just had to look at it, and Hitsuji talked about the swimming pool for an hour straight. Hitsuji has never done anything for an hour straight in his life. Kosuke won't be a sourpuss and drag down their fun. She just doesn't want them to be spoiled.
Of course, to be completely honest, she's jealous. Her classes are long and unforgiving. She would nod off in boredom in every single one if she hadn't come up with an idea: she pretends that she's learning all about management and economics because she's going to open her own restaurant one day. Granted, knowing that she will be responsible for a multi-million company should probably be more reason so stay focus, but whatever works, works.
"Kiori is having a slumber party next Saturday," says Minami. Kiori seems to be on a one-way route to becoming Minami's new best friend. "She wants me to come."
"That's great!" Kosuke says. ("That's great!" Hitsuji repeats.) She really, really means it. Any proof that Minami is even a little happy here, that she's making friends and enjoying school and most importantly, not missing home is music to her ears. "Do you want to go?"
Minami stops cutting up her omelet—she now prides herself in cutting up her food before she eats, to show how grown up she is—and asks, "Are we going to go home next Saturday?"
It's not that Kosuke forgot, it's that she had her fingers crossed Minami may just forget about that. She does intend to take them back home soon, but between...well, everything, she may have made next weekend a bit too close of a due date. She hasn't called any of Minami's friends' parents to see about a playdate, either, and she knows Minami wants that.
"We can," she says at last. She also starts cutting up her omelet. "Or we can go next week."
She makes a quick mental note to see if she can schedule this. She knows her routine is at Shigeo's mercy now, but maybe he has enough of a heart to let them go for a weekend.
Minami does not immediately answer. Kosuke almost wants to slap herself. Way to put her on the spot, genius. "Why don't you think about it? It's no big deal."
"Okay," Minami says at last.
They eat in silence for a stretch—she has got to make French omelets more often, good heavens—until Hitsuji chirps up with egg on his lip, "What're we gonna do tomorrow?"
"Hm...I don't know. We'll figure it out when you get home from today, alright? I'm sure there's lots and lots of stuff for us to do around here."
"The park?" asks Hitsuji. "Can we go to the park? Can we go see a movie?"
"We'll see. Go ahead and eat breakfast, Little Man. It'll get cold."
Hitsuji starts wolfing it down because he loathes cold omelet with a burning passion. Then his chewing slows—not stopping entirely, but slowing. "What's wrong, bud?"
He hums, unsure. "Tastes…angry."
Kosuke just kind of nods and tries to hide the guilt on her face. He keeps eating.
Kosuke initially dismisses the idea of the movies—it cost them quite a pretty penny last time—and then remembers that they could very well do that.
She doesn't have to count their spendings anymore. She doesn't have to calculate a budget in her head every time she makes a purchase. She can start throwing money at almost anything, and that's not a feeling she's used to. She'd been asked before what she would do if she had a million yen to spend on anything she wanted, and she'd come up with loads of answers, like an all-designer closet and the biggest TV in the world, those kind of things. Now that she does it, the idea of simply going to one restaurant and ordering something a bit expensive still seems bizarre.
Oh, there are so many things to get used to, and she hasn't even had a glimpse of it all yet...
Acually, no, that's not true. Kyoya gave her a glimpse at what their married life will be like.
She stabs a piece of omelet with her fork and shoves it into her mouth.
A few minutes later, Miss Ayumu appears in the doorway, as prim and proper as Kosuke remembers her. Kosuke immediately straightens up, but the children only glance at her curiously, never once stopping their meal.
"Miss Amida." Miss Ayumu does a tiny little bow. "Mister Amida is here to speak with you."
Kosuke blinks dumbly. "He's here? Now?" Kosuke hasn't seen him in person for days now. All of their communication has been over the phone. It gave her relief.
"Yes. He says it's important."
"Oh. Okay. Um..." Kosuke looks down at the table. Should she offer him breakfast? Should she ditch the table and go to him? Or does she just 'send him in'? "Just a moment, please."
Miss Ayumu's eyes flatten on her. She is not very impressed with Kosuke and Kosuke can tell. "This is Mister Amida's estate, Miss Amida. I'm afraid he will not be waiting, 'just a moment' or otherwise."
She turns on her heel, and Kosuke goes into a panic. Shigeo hasn't even seen the kids, and she wants to keep it that way. She doesn't want him to have anything to do with them, she doesn't want him to look at them, let alone speak with them. And now he's on his way, and Minami and Hitsuji are still eating breakfast.
"Minami, Hitsuji, go finish getting ready for school. Now, now, now!" The two children scramble. Minami picks up her plate to take with her. Hitsuji stuffs the rest of his omelet into his mouth like a chipmunk. "No, don't—Okay, sure, just go! Go, go. You're just going to have to go to school without me today."
Minami runs for it. Hitsuji still has balloon-cheeks and waddles instead of runs away. Kosuke rearranges their plates, but doesn't know how to make dirty dishes and bits of uneaten egg look presentable. She stands to her feet, knowing Shigeo would not want her to be sitting down, and steels herself—
Hitsuji pokes his head back into the room. "Bye, Kosuke!"
Kosuke bites down on her lip, half-loving her adorable little brother and half-wanting to scream at him to go already. "Bye!"
Finally, he leaves. Not one second later, Shigeo walks in. He's wearing a light gray three-piece with a dark green tie. All-business, dead-serious, and with the air of a sophisticated jackass—just as Kosuke remembers him.
Still, she keeps things civil and greets him: "Good morning."
Shigeo looks at her up and down. Two words in and he's already giving her his signature "gum on the bottom of my shoe" look. "For future reference, this is not how you'll want to present yourself when you're meeting anyone."
What? Kosuke looks down and—oh. Right.
She'd found a sleeping gown in her drawers when she was packing stuff away the other day. It, too, was pure satin, a soft pink and flowed like air. Kosuke decided not to wear it and to just have a semblance of the old life by wearing her usual pajamas. Except her usual pajamas consisted of an oversized T-shirt decaled with a cartoon cat wearing a sleeping mask and baggy pants patterned with donuts, cupcakes, and candy.
No, she wouldn't want to present herself to anyone looking like this.
"Well." Kosuke wills herself not to be embarrassed. She's glad she's facing him. She doesn't want him to see the back, which has another decal, this time of the cat's tail. Complete with a little cartoon bow and bell. "I didn't know you were coming."
"This is my estate. I don't have to announce my intent to come."
That is fair. Though Kosuke is incredibly unnerved knowing that Shigeo could always be in the next room over without her knowing.
"I'm on my way to work now," Shigeo tells her. "I'm meeting with Mr. Ootori today. I stopped by because there are some things I need to give you."
First he extends a packet of stapled papers to her. "More information that I expect you to know about Amida Health."
Kosuke bites her lip and takes them. She's been trying to 'study' up on her Amida Health knowledge every day and night, but nothing is sticking. It's page after page after page of names and numbers. She needs to memorize a list of every item the company has ever manufactured—and that's a list that goes back years. And she has to do the exact same thing for Ootori Medical. If Kosuke got all of her papers together into one stack, they'd probably be heavy enough to take down an airplane.
"Alright."
"What about the information I've already given you?"
She almost says 'what about it?' but stops herself. She now knows that when she talks to Shigeo, she needs to second-guess everything she says. She should bring down her chances of ticking him off from 95% to a nice 75%. "I'm reading up on it every day."
"You need to get everything in your head and keep it there. Tattoo it all inside your eyelids if you need to." Shigeo hands her a slip of paper, marked over in chickenscratch. "I'm going to be sending you on two errands today. You need to go to Carmine D'Atra. You're going to need a..." Shigeo looks down at her donut-cupcake-candy pants again. "...more fashionable wardrobe. At least twenty dresses."
Carmine D'Atra is both a person and a place—a fashion designer hailing from Venice who now has an international chain of stores of her name. Kosuke has passed by Tokyo's Carmine D'Atra building exactly twice in all her years. She marveled at the sleek gold and silver of the place, and the spectacular dresses in the windows. She'd never stepped foot inside, however: Carmine D'Atra was always the number-one hit if one searched "most expensive clothing store in Japan" on the Internet.
Kosuke stifles down the slight lightheadedness she feels and unfolds the paper. There are two addresses on it, but while the top one is labeled "Crmn DA," the other says "Ldy Bg."
She doesn't say anything, but apparently, she blinks too many times, because Shigeo sighs. "Every member of the Amida household has a family ring."
He holds his up. It's rather simple, a double band of silver and a clear letter 'A'. Has he always been wearing it? She can't recall.
"You're going to be getting one yourself, for appearance's sake. That's the address for Lady Bug. I don't care what color or gem or anything else you want, just make sure it has an 'A' on it."
Lady Bug, of course, topped the results for "most expensive jewelry store in Japan."
"Give those addresses to your chauffeur. And here."
The last thing he gives her is the most daunting: a plastic card.
"This is yours now. Use it for the tailoring and the ring. After that, I couldn't care less what you do with it," Shigeo sighs as she takes it. "Though obviously I shouldn't be seeing any charges for ten trillion yen."
How bizarre, knowing that such a small piece of plastic contains enough money to buy three Lily Bowls. Kosuke swallows whatever it is building up in her chest and tucks it with the papers. Whatever she uses this card for, she's not going to let herself become a spoiled brat.
Behind Shigeo, she sees a flicker of movement. Minami's head is peeking just past the doorway. Her wide eyes blink owlishly at Shigeo. This is the first time she's seen him: her sister's dad. The king who owned the castle. The man that Kosuke told her to stay far away from if she could. Hitsuji's head peeks out with her, but he seems far less interested.
Just as Minami takes a step forward, her little shoe appearing in the doorway, Shigeo starts to turn.
"Um!"
Minami freezes, but then Shigeo turns back to Kosuke. Quickly, with silent footsteps, she runs for it. She pulls Hitsuji with her by the hand. That's the last Kosuke sees of them before they leave for school.
"What?" Shigeo scoffs.
"I-Is that all?" Kosuke asks, thinking quick. "You don't have anything else that I need to do today?"
"Do you want anything else to do today?"
"I don't know what exactly you have planned for me to do to prepare for—"
"That's all I need you to do today. You don't have classes today, correct?" Kosuke nods. Fridays are the one weekday she doesn't have any classes at Ouran. "Then congratulations. Tokyo is yours to explore."
Even though she'd said it in a moment of panic, Kosuke does wonder if she should be getting thrown into the spotlight more. What about a debutante ball? Is she going to have to do one of those? If Shigeo is merciful, then he'll let her integration into high society be a quiet one.
Shigeo leaves after that. The chefs come to take the dishes away, and Kosuke realizes that she is once again alone, but now she will remain so for most of the day. The mansion suddenly feels daunting. Endless. For these past days, she has stuck to the paths between her bedroom, the children's, and the kitchen. She has no idea what the ballroom looks like even though she passes it every day, and she hasn't even seen a glimpse of the pool area.
Kosuke takes a breath. First things first, she's going to want to get out of these pajamas.
This is probably for the best, she tells herself as she climbs the stairs. You have a day off. Just try to relax and go through this whole day without worrying about anything.
Especially Kyoya Ootori.
The chaffeur (who she just likens to a cab driver to make it seem more normal) drops her off on the street of Carmine D'Atra. She thanks him but tells him not to wait for her since she'll be doing some exploring while she's here.
The trip to Carmine D'Atra mostly goes well. Once she's in the store and makes herself known, the fashionable attendees take her to a back room for measurements. If she just spaced out and looked at nothing as the measuring tape was drawn over her body, it would have been completely ordinary.
Unfortunately, D'Atra's designs beg to be looked at, and Kosuke can't help herself. The dresses are absolutely stunning, but she can hear their price tags screaming. If she could, she'd just pretend that they were any other overly expensive thing she wouldn't be buying...but she can't. One of the attendees hands her a tablet with a catalogue of every design they sell. Kosuke immediately filters it by price first, feeling momentary relief—just because she can spend so much money doesn't mean she has to. But then she sees that even the least expensive of all the designs is over 260,000 yen.
So after that, she just picks them almost at random and doesn't look at the price tags. She has to get at least twenty, so by the time she thanks them all for their time and leaves, she has spent over five. million. yen. on dresses.
How do rich people do it? She wonders as she walks out into the street, feeling dizzy. How can they spend so much money like they're tossing coins into a fountain?
Then she reminds herself to relax and let it be. Just pretend she spent fifty yen maximum atc an old thrift shop.
Her nerves relax as she walks down the Tokyo streets. This will be one of the very few things she'll enjoy out of all of this. She'd always loved Tokyo, but she could count on her fingertips how many times she'd traveled to it—a three hour drive at least to Karuizawa, it was near impossible to just go there and come home in one day. Add that on top of the fact that with a restaurant to run, her parents had very little vacation time.
Now she lives here, and she'll live here probably for the rest of her life, so she can do all the things she's wanted to do all her life, day after day after day. She could go to any and all of the museums and parks, visit the Senso-ji temple, see the cherry blossoms at Nakameguro, walk the winding markets...She may just go to a cat cafe or two just for the heck of it.
Not to mention, walking down the sidewalk, always an arm's length away from someone else, Kosuke finally feels normal again. She's just any other stranger on the street. She isn't special.
This feeling is what urges her to get through her time in Lady Bug as quickly as possible. Not at all helped by the fact that there are six guards just by the front door. She wonders if anyone has ever been stupid enough to try and steal from here.
While her finger goes through metal hoops to find her size, she's almost distracted by the breathtaking gems glittering in the display cases. Diamonds, sapphires, rubies, emeralds, some as small as pinpricks, others as large as golfballs...It seems Japan's treasury is in these glass boxes.
"Now," says the portly man on the other side of the counter. He slides over a book bound in velvet. "Just choose what you would like."
Kosuke returns his kind smile, but her mouth goes dry again when she looks at all her options. This time, she is just going to go with the cheapest options.
Actually, standing there, she feels a memory starting to stir in her mind. She and her mother had been having an ordinary visit to Komoro when Emiko had pulled her into a jewelry store. Not anywhere close to Lady Bug, just a very common chain. Emiko had waved away the attendees and nudged Kosuke to the glass boxes, saying, "See if you like anything."
Kosuke had tried to keep her eyes from boggling out of her skull. "Am I getting something?" The teenage girl half of her was cheering, Yaaaaay! Pretty jewelry! The couch potato half of her was doubting, I don't think I have any hoodies that will match any of this.
"Not today," Emiko had told her. She somehow looked both interested and bored as her stormy blue eyes looked down at all the rings, necklaces, and earrings. She seemed particularly interested-not-interested in a necklace with a teardrop-shaped pendant holding a little emerald at its end. "It's going to be your graduation present."
Kosuke had scratched at her cheek, wondering. Earrings would probably be best, she'd figured—wouldn't get lost in her hoodie, and wouldn't catch crumbs when she reached into a bag of chips. "Think I should pick a ruby? To match my hair?"
"Your college graduation." Emiko had clarified, sharply, "I expect you to get rid of that color by the time you've got a diploma."
To be honest? Kosuke didn't even know if she liked her hair anymore. She couldn't wear anything red or she'd looked like a bottle of ketchup, and dying it was such a messy process. But spiteful, petty, bratty daughter that she was, she kept it because she knew it got on her mother's nerves. She'd probably have to give it up anyway—her high school was in the minority of those that let its students dye their hair and Seneca probably wouldn't be so forgiving—but she'd planned on holding onto it.
Not wanting to snap back in public, Kosuke had asked, "Why jewelry?"
She'd not been expecting Emiko to answer, "It's what my mother got for me when I graduated."
Kosuke had pretended to take a harder look at her options. In truth, every single mention of her grandparents always took her aback, because they were few and far between. Almost excited, she'd asked, "Do you still have what she gave you?"
Emiko's jaw pulled tight. Taking a breath, she'd replied, "I think a sapphire would be better. They'd match your eyes."
Back in the present, Kosuke looks at the pages without really seeing. She'd never found out the answer to that question or many others. Not to mention her mother would never see her graduate, let alone get her anything to celebrate it, and Kosuke's hair had stayed that red that she hated.
She suddenly feels a flare of anger at Shigeo, knowing that he'd done something to her mother. Something made her run away from him. And Kosuke was furious with herself with working with him despite the fact.
You know what?
Screw it.
"I think I would like it to be silver," she tells the man. She points at a picture in the book. "I want this band…"
She doesn't pick the most expensive options, but she forgets about the money. It's Shigeo's money. He hurt her mother somehow and Kosuke refuses to feel even slightly guilty for using his cash for a pretty piece of jewelry. He probably won't care—probably won't even notice. It'll just make Kosuke feel better, knowing that even if she can't get her mother justice and even if she never finds out what happened, she'll never have to feel bad for him. Actually, she makes a mental note: when she gets home she's going to search for some charities to give some monthly donations to.
Kosuke leaves Lady Bug, finally free to do whatever she wants for the rest of the day. Should she stop by some more shops and have a little spending spree with Shigeo's money? Or should she just wander the streets to sightsee? There have to be a million places to grab food here, maybe she should just get an early lunch.
Once she starts walking, she looks around, enjoying the scenery that will become the norm for her. Colorful strangers pass by on the sidewalks. At times the streets are almost bumper-to-bumper with cars, quite a few of them black taxi cabs. The buildings around her have too many floors to count, and all over there are signs and store names that almost seem to beckon her to go on an adventure. A mother pushes two sleeping twins in a baby stroller. A cluster of teenage boys pass on the other side of the road, pushing each other around and hooting with laughter. A man steps out of a parked car, straightening his jacket.
Kosuke just starts walking.
It's good that I wore walking shoes, she thinks to herself. Maybe I'll just walk until I can't anymore.
Once she turns a corner, it's an entirely different scene. At least she won't get lost here, since no two streets look the same. There's an almanac set up on the sidewalk, and she walks over to it, hoping to get some sense of where she is and where to go. The sun is glinting on the side closest to her, so she rounds to the other side.
She doesn't get much. It seems that any way she goes will be just as good as the other. She might even go back—she looks past the almanac and sees a stretch just as colorful and enticing as the one behind her.
While she looks, she sees the man that stepped out of the car, now looking down her street as if he's looking for something. Kosuke doesn't think a single thing of it. It's such an ordinary sight that it leaves her mind as quickly as it comes.
Lunch probably sounds good right now. Kosuke feels her stomach rumbling despite having breakfast not long ago. Her appetite is insatiable. There's probably a million options to choose from, though…
Already she sees a restaurant that's clearly fine dining, a café with a steady stream of customers passing through the doors, and a stand selling cheap but no less mouthwatering noodles. The café has a plastic sign outside the door, beckoning in customers with a cute little cat waving inside. As Kosuke passes it, she sees the reflection of the street behind her…
…and the man.
Who is quite possibly looking at her now.
Kosuke falters in her steps, but keeps on walking as if she was just considering going in the café for a moment. There's no way she knows the man. If she did, or if she had anything to do with him, he'd have called out to her by now. As is, he's just following her. Not saying a word. Almost—prowling.
He's not—he's not following her. She's being paranoid.
You've never been in such a big city by yourself before, Kosuke tells herself, letting out a shaky breath. Or, at least, the last time you were, that Blue Suit creep got you. Now you see one person who just so happens to be going the same way as you and you're convinced you're being hunted down.
When she comes to the end of the sidewalk, she looks to her right and sees a storefront that juts out just a bit farther into the sidewalk than the others. She can see her own reflection already as far away as she is, so she decides that she's going to walk past. She'd be walking in a square. The guy isn't going to follow her, and she knows that, but if she can just see it then maybe her overemotional brain will settle down.
She walks past the window.
The man follows.
I'm being hunted down.
Kosuke keeps walking because she doesn't want him to know she's noticed. She doesn't know what to do.
She has her cellphone. She could call for help, but he's right there. She could duck into a store or something, but wouldn't that just be trapping herself? She can't go anywhere even remotely unpopulated. She needs people around.
Kosuke tries to figure out his intentions as her heart starts to hammer against her sternum. She wants to believe that he's just trying to return something she'd dropped, but he would have said something—he would be walking faster to catch up with her, not keeping a careful distance.
Is he planning to rob her? Is he going to hurt her? Is he one of those freaks that propositions random girls on the street?
Does he know who she is? Maybe he saw her get out of the limousine. Maybe he saw her go into the most expensive dress store in Japan and then watched as she went to the most expensive jewelry store in Japan. He sees a girl who's obviously loaded with cash all by herself.
Another thought comes to her, and Kosuke had never known what it meant for blood to run cold.
What if he works for the loan shark?
Oh, she's so stupid, stupid, stupid…
She had the money in an envelope tucked inside one her shoes back at the mansion. She'd taken the money from her account, not Shigeo's, of course, but she should have sent it sooner. She still has time, the week isn't over, but surely the loan shark knows she's moved by now. She should have sent the money to make it clear she wasn't going to stop sending money, that she wasn't running away. Or maybe, just like she'd feared, now he knows where she lives and he wants a little more honey in the pot.
Kosuke has to do something. People are still passing by. For one second, she almost reaches out to them: an elderly couple, a trio of teenage girls, a man in a suit…She could just tell them, That man is following me, please help! That's what Marti always told her to do if something like this ever happened. He'd promised someone would help her.
But she stops herself, because she remembers all those stupid, horrible nightmares she had after she came home from the Blue Tower. She went from person to person, begging them to help her, and each and every one of them turned their noses up in disgust at her. They keep walking and wave her away like she's nothing more than an annoying street salesman.
She knows it's just nightmares, but now she can't make herself ask anyone for help. She has to figure out something on her own.
Like a sign from God, she sees a staircase down to the subway up ahead. It looks like dozens of people are going in every second. A perfect opportunity.
She keeps her pace the same as she goes in. Already she feels as packed as a sardine in a can. There's a stream of people going one way to the other, only stopped by clusters of pedestrians at the ticket booths, looking at the maps…So many people around makes it so much easier to lose him, but so much harder to be fast about it.
Kosuke just lets out a stream of "excuse me" and "pardon me" as she starts running through as quickly as she can. At least she just looks like a regular person trying to catch her train before it's too late. The other exit feels like it's a football field away from her. Every time she has to pause, she feels that the man is gaining ten feet on her.
Finally, the sea breaks and she sprints for the stairs, taking two or even three at a time, already out of breath but not stopping for a second.
Finally, once she makes it through, she breaks for the first corner that she sees and ducks behind it. She feels like she's about to go into cardiac arrest.
But relief floods through her. There's no way the man caught up to her through that crowd—and even if he'd been close, he wouldn't be able to see where she went now.
She tries to catch her breath, but it's hard. Now she has no idea what she's going to do. She can probably call the police now. She thinks she can provide an accurate enough description of what the guy looked like. She's going to have to stay put at least for a while, though, just to talk to them.
So much for not getting lost, her half-delirious mind thinks. She has no idea where she is now, even though she couldn't have gone for. Just up ahead is a public park—she sees green trees paved walkways, but there aren't very many people at all. She can at least go through real quick as she puts as much distance between her and the guy as possible. For once, she doesn't see any black cabs—she would gladly hail one down and tell the driver to just floor it.
As she starts walking again, she feels a pain throb in her calf. She must have done something in her sprint. It doesn't feel broken or twisted, but the idea of running again already has regret filling her.
Once she's in the park, among the trees and the grass, she sucks in another gulp of air and turns around one more time just to assure herself that he's gone.
He's still there.
Kosuke turns back around without missing a beat, even though she feels like her heart just dropped to the ground. For one split second, another pump of adrenaline shoots to her legs, but just as quickly the pain flares again. She can't run anymore. And she just waltzed right into an area where not many people are around.
She's going to have to ask someone for help. She's out of options. She can only pray that they will. But now she sees no one. She's in the middle of Tokyo, and there's no one.
Actually, no, there's someone. A sweet little old lady at a little shopping stand.
Kosuke just about screams in frustration, because there's no way in hell she's going to put a nice little grandmother in between her and a possible hitman, but then she sees what the woman is selling.
She gets one last sprint forward, her leg screaming all the while. The trees are just thick enough. She may have a few precious seconds.
"Hello, ma'am." Kosuke gives a bow as quickly as she can, probably looking like she's diving for the ground. "I would like your heaviest one, please."
"Certainly." The woman extends a long, thick walking stick made out of a glossy dark wood to her. "That'll be forty-one hundred, please."
Kosuke dives into her back pocket, grabs the biggest notes she sees, and almost throws them at the woman. "Thank you so much!"
"Oh, no!" The woman frets as Kosuke is turning around. "This is more than twice what I need, dear!"
"No, no, keep the change. Thank you!"
Then she darts a way forward, gritting her teeth as the pain flares, and ducks behind the trunk of a tree big enough to conceal her. Then she holds her breath, gripping the walking stick to her chest, and looks out.
It takes a second for the man to appear, not quite running, but just about. He's older than Kosuke thought he was. At least in his sixties. He almost looks like an innocent older gentleman, but Kosuke isn't so easily convinced. Just because the loan shark looked like a cartoon stereotype didn't mean they all would be.
As expected, he turns down the way she came, and she ducks back until she can just barely see him. He goes to the sweet old woman and asks, "Excuse me, but did a young blonde woman just pass by?"
"Yes, sir, she went down that way."
Now Kosuke pulls back and just listens to the footsteps. She is not going to feel bad about this. She'll deal with the fallout later; right now she has to protect herself.
"Hey!"
Kosuke keeps the walking stick behind the tree but jumps out. The man instantly pulls up short with an exclamation. Ugh, he looks so unassuming. How did he keep up with her?
Keeping her voice steely, she grits out, "Can I help you with something."
The man composes himself, running a hand down his chest and swallowing hard. Kosuke keeps an eye on that hand.
"Would your name happen to be Kosuke Nakahara?"
She glares at him. If there is one thing she actually wants to inherit from Shigeo, it's the ability to turn her eyes into ice. "Why are you asking."
The man swallows again and reaches into his jacket pocket.
Kosuke starts swinging.
He lets out another yell as he scrambles backwards. Good. Kosuke may look like a maniac, but she doesn't care. She swings the walking stick so hard that she hears it whistling through the air. She can almost feel the jolt that would run up her arms if she struck him.
For now, she keeps him at a distance. He's moved back, which is good for him, but if he tries to come closer again then Kosuke isn't holding back anymore.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Kosuke bats one more hard swing. The man looks properly scared. It only makes her grip the walking stick a little tighter. "Please, calm down!"
"What do you want?!" she barks at him. "Why are you following me?!"
"Please, I don't mean you any harm—"
"Just tell me!"
His jaw audibly snaps shut. Shakily, he reaches for his jacket pocket again, but stops cold when Kosuke lifts her walking stick a few inches. Then he delicately pinches his lapel between his finger and slowly peels it back so she can see the lining—at the very least, there's no way he's keeping a weapon in there. That doesn't mean she drops her weapon as he just as slowly reaches for his pocket.
He pulls out a square, folded piece of paper and extends it out to her.
Kosuke blinks a few times, which she isn't proud to admit, but she still doesn't back down. For all she knows, it's a note from the loan shark telling her to cough up more money. Or it's a threat for "backing out" of their deal.
She is not going to be taken by surprise.
"Put it down and step back."
Half-scared and half-gobsmacked, the man carefully kneels down and places the paper down on the walking path. Then he takes a step back, but Kosuke extends the walking stick out to keep him going. Only when she has all five feet between them does she pick the paper up, and gives him her best don't try anything glare as she looks at it.
It's a photograph, not a note, and what it's a photograph of confuses her immensely. Not enough to drop the stick, but enough to have her head snaking back a bit.
It's just a family. Like—an everyday common family you could find a million of in Tokyo alone. A man, his wife, and their daughter. Actually, looking closer, Kosuke sees that it's the man—probably over twenty years younger, his hair thicker and skin not nearly as wrinkled. The man standing in front of her has green eyes behind horn-rimmed glasses and a beard of gray scruff. The man in the photograph's hair is a very light blond, and he's clean-shaven. He only has crow's feet.
Why in the hell is he showing me a picture of his family? Kosuke looks back up at him, but he's just watching her. And why such an old photo? What does he—
Her blood runs cold. Again.
Oh.
NO.
Is his family being held hostage?
IS THE LOAN SHARK HOLDING HIS FAMILY HOSTAGE BECAUSE HE THINKS I BACKED OUT?
Kosuke thinks she's about to scream, but she keeps looking at the photograph. The woman—his wife, his poor wife!—is smiling as she loops an arm around her husband's middle. At least back then, her hair is long and straight, a lovely honey brown. Kosuke can't see her eyes behind her sunglasses, but her smile is bright and pure.
Their daughter—who is certainly not as young anymore, at least forty, but maybe he brought a photo of her as a young woman to emphasize that she's just an innocent life that doesn't deserve to be taken—stands between them. She looks like a fairytale princess in the modern day. Her pale blonde hair goes all the way down to her hips, and it looks soft even on paper. She's slender with a warm smile, and her eyes…
Kosuke brings the photograph closer.
Those eyes.
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Kosuke stares at the man's daughter. In her mind, she cuts her hair short. She turns the smile into a frown. She gives the stormy blue eyes just a hint of crow's feet at their corners.
.
.
.
.
It's Emiko.
It's her mother.
It can't be anyone else.
Now Kosuke drops the walking stick.
This is the only photograph of her mother this young that she's ever seen. She can't be much older than Kosuke herself in this picture. All her life growing up, Emiko had never said why she didn't have any pictures before she had Kosuke, and Kosuke had just chalked it up to yet another detail about her unknown but unhappy life. And she's been given this picture by a stranger.
Well, no.
Well. No to that no.
She doesn't know him. Looking back at him, watching as his lips purse together, Kosuke sees the similarities—the shape of the eyes, the structure of his face—but it's still a stranger's face.
But it's her grandfather's face.
What…
What does she do?
What does she say?
He stares at her and she stares back. She's staring at him and she sees her mother, and she wonders if he's seeing the same thing.
She's staring at this face that's absolutely alien to her, but is of her own blood.
He is one of the very few people who knew the version of her mother that she never even got a glimpse of. Who could hold the answers to so many of her questions. She's imagined what he looked like a million times over, but now that he's real, she's frozen.
"I." Kosuke swallows. Her throat feels like it's lined in sandpaper. "I'm Kosuke, yes."
"Oh." He breathes. She can see how hard and slow he's breathing, and she doesn't think it's just from pursuing her through the Tokyo streets. "Oh, good. That's good. I…" He straightens his horn-rimmed glasses. "I didn't mean to scare you; I'm so sorry. I—I can only imagine how menacing I looked just now, chasing you down…"
"Um." Should she say that it's okay? Is it okay? "Why did you…?"
"Well," he breathes again. "I'll absolutely tell you, but…Do you think we could sit down and talk? I don't think this will be a short conversation." He presses a hand to his chest. "And to be frank, that run has winded me a bit…"
Now regret fills Kosuke. Not for making him run after her—she didn't—but she did just swing a five-foot walking stick at him hard enough to splinter his bones like toothpicks.
Is this happening? Everything that has happened lately, and now this, too?
She holds the walking stick to herself, but now to keep it as far away from him as possible. She wants to slap herself for almost braining her own grandfather.
"Sure. We can sit down." Kosuke realizes she's still holding the photograph. She wants to keep it…but it's not hers to keep. "Here."
Kosuke takes a step forward—
"Excuse me, dear."
Both of them turn around at the sound of the small voice. Kosuke jumps a foot into the air because oh dear god the old woman is double-wielding walking sticks at her grandfather.
"Is this man bothering you, sweetheart?" The woman has to be half her height, and she looks as cuddly as a teddy bear, but now Kosuke is convinced that she is fully capable of obliterating her grandfather with her two walking sticks. "Just say the word!"
Kosuke and her grandfather become a chorus singing, "No, no, no, no, no!" Kosuke is able to convince her that it was just a horrible misunderstanding, though it isn't easy. The old lady finally shuffles back to her stand after five minutes of explanation, and not without giving her grandfather a withering glare. Kosuke doesn't know whether she should feel guiltier about almost getting him clobbered or almost being the one to do the clobbering.
He looks properly frazzled now. This is…certainly not how Kosuke imagined her first meeting with her grandfather happening, if it ever would.
"Let's go sit," she tells him again.
He nods, shaking. "Yes, that sounds good."
Her grandfather's name is Sugimoto.
That is the extent of her knowledge so far.
"Obviously I want to apologize for following you like I did," Sugimoto says, sitting beside her on the park bench. "That's the exact reason I don't like my wife walking alone at night." Quickly, he adds, "My wife's name is Airi, by the way."
Kosuke nods. She doesn't know what else to do.
Sugimoto shifts uncomfortably on the bench. Kosuke feels guiltier by the second—he really does just look like an innocent old man. He looks like he should be holding the walking stick, not her.
"I'm not sure where to begin," he admits. "Why don't you just ask whatever you want and I'll answer?"
This almost reminds her of meeting Shigeo all over again. She's been found because of who her mother was, and now they're just sitting and talking. Thankfully she does not feel afraid this time. Of course, there's no telling just yet what Sugimoto's story is. He could very well be just as guilty for driving Emiko away as Shigeo, but at least he doesn't have an ice cold attitude.
Where to begin, though?
"Alright." Kosuke pauses. "Why haven't I met you before?"
Sugimoto's lips press together. He looks away from her just a moment, into the leaves of the park trees that rustle in the breeze. His own eyes aren't much darker. Why couldn't she have inherited his eyes? Why did she have to get Shigeo's?
"I…wish you'd ask me anything besides that."
Quicker than even she's ready for, Kosuke snaps, "Why." Because seriously, why. Why does she keep getting so close to getting her answers only to come short because those holding them won't give them?
"It's…" Sugimoto's jaw works for a second. "It's a conversation to have with Airi. Not just us."
Even though the anger's still rippling under her skin, Kosuke has to admit that's at least an acceptable reason. Much better than simply, "Because I don't want to." She's waited almost twenty years, she can wait a little while longer.
"Okay…Why am I meeting you now?"
Sugimoto takes a deep breath like he was expecting this but still not prepared.
"When your mother…left, she made it clear that she wasn't coming back and she didn't want us following. For almost twenty years, we didn't hear a word from or about her—where she went, what she was doing…It wasn't until we heard that Shigeo had brought his daughter to his home that we even knew you existed. We couldn't find any way to contact you, and…Well, we're not on friendly terms with Shigeo, to say the least. It wouldn't have been wise to just show up at any of his estates, announced or otherwise. I know this is going to sound alarming, but I promise you that our intentions were not to violate your or your siblings' privacy…We hired a private investigator." Kosuke startles, because what, and he quickly adds, "Again, I promise, not to violate your privacy. At first we only hired him to confirm you were with Shigeo. After that, we just needed the opportunity to speak to you. I could have come to Ouran University, but I didn't want to interrupt your classes, or have you surrounded with an audience. Once the PI realized you were going into town today, he drove me here to speak to you myself."
Well…Kosuke doesn't know what to make of that. The idea of being stalked—sorry, privately investigated—makes her uneasy, but if all they know is where she lives and goes to school, then that isn't much. If things are as bad with Shigeo as Sugimoto makes them sound, then yes, confronting her himself was probably impossible. The estate was locked up tighter than a bank vault.
"Why didn't you call out, or something? You could have just said, 'Excuse me!' instead of chasing me through the streets."
He coughs. Rightfully embarrassed. "You're right. I was just so shocked, I guessed. I knew it was you, but it seemed to good to be true."
Kosuke doesn't really focus on that point. She's already zeroing in on what she's just realized. Too hopeful for her own good, Kosuke blurts out, "What happened with Shigeo?"
"That…has to do with what we need to talk with Airi for."
So leaving her mom and dad and divorcing Shigeo are tied together?
Now Kosuke's starting to second-guess herself. Innocent he may look, but innocent he is not. Does he realize that he's not helping his case, being so ambiguous? Or maybe he's acknowledging that he's guilty to some degree?
Kosuke can't help but let out a frustrated sigh, and Sugimoto only frowns deeper. He doesn't plead, though, at least being able to tell how she's feeling right now.
"So why are you here now?"
"For two reasons. Firstly, I need to warn you…"
Sugimoto turns in his seat to face her. His green eyes have gone steely.
"I don't know what Shigeo has told you. I don't know if he said he sought you out with good intentions, or if he convinced you with something else, but whatever it was…I strongly advise you to be careful around him. If you can, I'll even tell you to stay away from him. I know the heirdom a-and the wealth and everything, it may seem appealing, but it isn't worth it."
Not that it's anything new, but Kosuke's jaw goes tight. It's one thing to know Shigeo is bad news and another to hear someone else confirm it.
"Why? Why do I need to stay away from him?"
"He's…" Sugimoto runs a hand through his thin hair. "He's a very selfish man, Kosuke. He's going to put his own interests first, every time. And I'm sorry, but I feel quite positive that he will hurt you."
Still not breaking news. "How is he selfish, though? How do you know?"
Sugimoto looks off to the side. He looks incredibly frustrated, and it annoys Kosuke because she feels she has more right to be. "It…It has to do with why your mother left, why she left him…Just…Until Airi's here…"
Kosuke looks off into the trees. She thinks if she looks at him much longer she's going to snap, even though she's trying to give him a fair chance. "It's hard to hear you out when you're not backing yourself up."
"I know, I know, just—Why are you with him right now?"
Kosuke decides not to answer that, because his voice is taking on a very "barter-y" tone. "Why?"
"If it's because you wanted a relationship with your father…Well, I can't hold that against you. I can't support it, but as you said, I can't defend my claim just yet. But if it was the heirdom of his company, all the money, we—Airi and I—we could give that to you. If that's the only reason you're with him, we can give you that, too. Perhaps not as much, but…"
She should probably be jumping on this offer, but she isn't. Kosuke likes gum on the bottom of her shoe better than Shigeo right now. She trusts him as far as she can trust him. And she knows next to nothing about him, but still, next to nothing. As opposed to just nothing, which is what she knows about Sugimoto and Airi.
"I'm trying to hear you out," she says evenly. "But I don't know you. You may know Shigeo better than I do, but you're a stranger to me."
He frowns deeper, distressed. "But—How well did you know him before you agreed to live with him?"
As well as I know you, and it cost me a lot. "I'm going to have to turn down your offer. At least for now, at least until I know you better."
He sighs again, but leaves it at that. Then, a moment later, he asks, "I don't know exactly when he came to you, but it seems very recent. And—I've heard of your engagement to Kyoya Ootori, and I'm just wondering how soon you agreed to that after you agreed to live with him?"
The name alone dampens her mood tenfold. She didn't see this conversation coming, but she's not going to let it take this turn of subject. "I don't see how that matters."
"I—Could you at least tell me, was this engagement a condition of any sort—"
"I'm looking forward to marrying Kyoya Ootori," she lies quickly. There's a chance all this questioning is just coming from a concerned grandfather, but it seems more likely that he's trying to scope out the enemy. Which, Shigeo is, but she has yet to find proof that Sugimoto is much better. "And I'm sorry, but I thought I was supposed to be asking questions."
Sugimoto's mouth closes with an audible click of teeth. He looks properly scolded, and a bit frightened. He's surely disappointed that this is turning out the way that it is, but he probably had too optimistic an outlook.
Kosuke asks, "What was the second reason you wanted to talk to me?"
He blinks, surprised that she's asking even though he was the one who said as much. "You're…my granddaughter. I wanted to meet you."
It could be a lie. But Kosuke wants it to be true despite herself. Her only family right now are two young children, lovable but naïve, and a sour bastard who treats her like a bartering chip. Not too long, and it'll be another sour bastard and all the unfamiliar members of his clan. There's no one who can actually help her, let alone she can really talk to.
It's so frustrating that this can't be one of those feel-good movie moments where she gets caught up with her long-lost grandfather and reforms a broken family. This one little flicker of hope could be based on a lie of yet another manipulator seeing an opportunity.
Sugimoto is watching her—her silence implying rejection. Kosuke wishes he weren't so surprised. He doesn't have the right to be.
"I—" Kosuke rubs at the back of her neck. "I'm not saying no, but you have to understand that with how little you're actually telling me, I'm not too keen on jumping right into this."
"Like I said, if Airi were here—"
"I know. But for now, all I know is that you're my grandfather."
He jerks his head in a nod. At least now he's getting it.
"I don't expect it to completely change your mind, but would it help if I told you a bit about myself? About us?"
I may not walk away from this with no answers, after all. "It would."
His lips quiver like he wants to smile, but he doesn't.
"Good. Alright, well…We live here in Tokyo, too. Not horribly far from where we are now. Airi is away on business at the moment. We own a line of pharmacies here in Japan…Have you ever heard of Suzuki Pharmacy?" Kosuke shrugs. "Well, we're not world-renowned, but it's a good business. Successful. I'm sixty-seven years old, Airi is sixty-five. We—we used to live in Nemuro, but we moved here some years ago. It's…Well, it's just us. Airi and I. Oh, and we have a Shiba Inu named Ringo. Airi and I will have been married forty-two years just two months from now."
Kosuke nods along. On the surface, it all sounds completely normal. They just sound like any other long-married couple, but Kosuke knows it isn't true. It's like he's trying to make them sound so typical.
Sugimoto sits there for a moment, and then his mouth opens and closes several times. "Could you…tell me some about yourself? Your family?"
She gives him a sideways glance. She wants to think he's just an innocent grandfather desperate to reconnect with a broken family. Despite all her wariness, she feels horrible at the idea of just sitting here and not telling him a single thing.
Don't overthink it, she tells herself. It's not like you're giving him your Individual Number. Just give him basic facts.
"I'm nineteen. My birthday is October 17th. I have two siblings—half-siblings, I mean, Mom remarried when I was six." Sugimoto nods, already knowing that. "My sister's name is Minami and my brother's name is Hitsuji. They're eight and five—their birthdays are January 8th and September 12th. I'm…going to Ouran University right now. The kids are going to Ouran, too."
Sugimoto nods to every word she says. He is starting to smile, but his eyes are heartbroken. Kosuke can feel the sympathy swelling and tries to keep it down. This could be an act, but god, he's too good at it.
When she finishes, he asks, "What…What was your life growing up? What—What did Emiko do? Did she have a job?"
Kosuke opens her mouth, but closes it just as quickly. She doesn't want to see his heart break in front of her any more, but this is not…fair. Shigeo didn't care, but Sugimoto does. He's hiding things about her mother and events Kosuke was never around to witness—yet now he asks Kosuke for everything. That's not a fair trade. That's not a trade.
"Why…" Kosuke swallows. "Why don't we wait until Airi comes? I can tell you then."
Does she say it to be petty, or because she doesn't know what else to do? She doesn't even know, but she says it, it's out there, and she doesn't take it back. This is not a fairytale. They do not hug and kiss and cry. They sit three feet across from each other on a park bench, barely looking at each other, voices tense and clipped.
Sugimoto's lips seal together. He doesn't nod, he just pulls back and sits upright. He's not going to argue about it, which is good. It's not quite anger that Kosuke's feeling towards him—there's no heat in her. Yet she can't help but feel that if he raises his voice at her, she'll just leave. She may regret it later, but she's done doing this, arguing with stranger men about what she will and will not do.
"I meant what I offered before," Sugimoto says. He's looking down at his polished shoes. "I just ask that you remember that."
Kosuke nods. For now, she feels no different. But later, she wonders if she'll think it over again. "I will."
"Also…"
Sugimoto digs into one pocket, then the other, then finally reaches into his breast pocket to find his prize: it's another piece of paper, this time with a series of digits written across.
"I want you to take this. Feel free to contact me whenever you want."
Kosuke takes it. She doesn't feel conflicted about doing so. For as many walls that have come up, she knows that she can't cut him off entirely. This is an opportunity to learn what happened to her mother, and she can't give it up. He sighs in relief as she takes it. She wishes he'd stop.
Sugimoto hesitates. The relief in his eyes snuffs out into something grim. "Just know that, if you do decide to contact me…And if you were to accept my trying to contact you…" She nods. "We should be careful about it. I don't know how Shigeo would react. Here, here."
He digs into his pocket again and pulls out a blocky little flip-phone. Horribly outdated, but brand new, not a scratch on it. He presses this into her hand as well. "I don't know if he's paying for your phone or not, but if he is, then he'll be able to see who you're calling. Use this one instead—hide it."
"Okay," Kosuke says, but she feels the uncomfortable pang of danger. She doesn't know where Shigeo has drawn the line—what she can get away with before he cuts all ties with her and throws her to the side. She has seen a glimpse of his anger before. She does not know how he'll react if he finds out she's been meeting with the parents of the woman she is not allowed to talk about. "Okay."
"Don't tell him that we talked. Don't even imply it."
Sugimoto looks at his wristwatch and suddenly stands. Kosuke follows. The loan shark, the Suits, her father, her fiancé—another bizarre first meeting to add to the list. It's really starting to feel like the cosmos have made her life a Shakespearean play, her troubles and follies just so amusing to watch.
How much more of this can I take? She wonders.
Kosuke tucks away the phone and the paper, but Sugimoto hesitates, and once more he reaches into his pocket.
"Why don't you have this, too?"
It is the photograph of him, Airi, and Emiko. The one kind of photograph that never once hung on the walls of their home. Kosuke's fingers hesitate to take it. Sugimoto extends it further, beckoning. So she claims it. She now has three objects—no, four, the money—to hide in the mansion like her life depends on it.
"I'm afraid I have to go now," Sugimoto says. "Just remember everything I said—contact me anytime."
Kosuke nods—she feels like a bobblehead, doing it so many times. She looks behind her, sees the walking stick. It'll be quite an odd souvenir to explain. "I'm sorry that we met like this. I thought—"
Thankfully Sugimoto interrupts her before she goes on. What was she going to do, explain how she's dealing with a loan shark and she thought he was one of his hitmen? "No, no, it was my fault entirely. I'm…I'm sorry that we could only meet now, and not sooner."
Kosuke hums in agreement, but she marks it up as another point to be wary. He knows that they've only met now because something happened to make Emiko run. But whether he's acknowledging his part or just stating simple facts, she can't tell.
"It was…nice meeting you, Sugimoto."
He presses his lips again. Is he disappointed she is not calling him Grandfather? He has no right to be.
"You, too, Kosuke. I hope to hear from you soon."
He bows to her, and she bows to him. As he walks away, Kosuke pretends to be gathering her things, but really she keeps an eye on him as he descends down the grass-lined pavement. Only when he's out of sight does she feel like she can breathe again.
When should she call him? Or perhaps she should wait until he seeks her out, instead? Sometimes Kosuke feels as though she's playing a game of chess, other times hide-and-seek. Knowing herself, she's going to make a stupid mistake. She'll pick up a call from Sugimoto right in front of company, or she'll leave an envelope for the loan shark right out where anyone can grab it.
The worst thing is, she's so positive that if she hadn't met Shigeo the way that she had—man, if she hadn't met him at all—then this could've just been a very normal meeting with the grandfather she never knew. Maybe they would've spent their time together happily chatting away about their lives. Or perhaps not…if she's lucky, then her experience with Shigeo will prepare her for what might come. Maybe she'll spot some red flags and cut ties with her grandparents before she's in too deep.
Or maybe she'll act like some kind of undercover spy and simply pretend to go along with it all until she gets the answers she wants. Thing is, whether this is chess or hide-and-seek, Kosuke's never been a good player of either.
Her phone, the one she already had before she came here, buzzes in her pocket.
From: Tamaki
Hi! I really hope you're doing well, it's been forever since we've talked! We need to hang out AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Now that you're settled, there's so many things we need to do! We should all go on a group date, of course! We could go to the movies, or the park, anything! Just let me know what you want to do!
Wow.
Her one day off really has just been one stressful thing after another.