Entry Six:
January 06, 2001
Last night my wedding rings warmed up and I cried myself to sleep. Blaise has to shake me awake because I was crying and screaming in my sleep. I had a nightmare, a vivid nightmare. I cried so hard, I started hyperventilating and Pansy tried to calm me down, but I cried even harder, Blaise had to give me calming draught and sleeping draught. Pansy slept with me and Blaise slept on the sofa he transformed into a cot. I had dreamt my husband was tortured and his neck was slit, as I stood and watched him bleed out in front of me. I couldn't move or do anything to help him, I was paralyzed in fear. Just thinking about that nightmare now, my eyes are tearing up. The anxious and uneasy feelings have returned, and I've been sitting on the sofa looking out the window, with a book in my lap the whole day. I sat in my nightgown all day.
Pansy brought my meals to my room, and sat with me for a bit, then she said they were hosting a dinner party tomorrow evening with some of their friends and would like it if I attended. I told her I don't have anything to wear, as I didn't pack anything for that kind of occasion, she just tsked and said I was welcome to her closet. So this evening after dinner we spent some time in her closet trying on dresses, for Pansy, her taste is a bit too reveling. I was fortunate enough to chose a black lace cocktail dress with a boat neckline, that came down pass my knees. I made sure the scars on my back were covered and the gash scars under my left collar bone was covered as well. No glamor spells could cover up the scars, I've tried everything. After choosing the dress I would be wearing, I went straight back to my room and sat in the bathtub. Thinking of my scars, it brought back those horrific memory;
"What is your name, child?" the man hissed.
"Haashke'nibah." Ash replied.
"Where are you from?" the man hissed.
"I'm from New Mexico in the United States." Ash replied annoyed with the questioning.
"Why are you here?" the man asked.
"Why am I being asked questions?" Ash demanded defiantly.
"Answer my questions!" The man seethed.
"Stop what you're doing! I won't let you inside my mind. I can feel you trying to barge in!I won't let you! Get out!" Ash shouted, as all the glass in the room shattered.
"Ash, Dear. Look at me." Narcissa requested. "Breath, breath, in and out. Yes exactly like that."
"Why are you scared? I can smell the fear coming off you?" Ash muttered to Narcissa.
"I'm fine dear, just answer his questions." Narcissa said as her hand shook while grasping Ash's shoulders.
"I'm here because I was sent here by my parents." Ash replied to the snake looking man.
"Give me your wand!" The man demanded.
"I don't have a stick thing." Ash replied.
"Every magical being here has a wand. Why don't you have one?" The man asked.
"Because I don't need one. I've never owned one." Ash replied.
"Narcissa give her your wand." The man ordered.
Narcissa withdrew her 10 ¾ Cherry wood wand with dragon heartstring core, and handed me her wind. I held the dark stained wand in my hand, I felt something stir within my magical core, there were sparks emitting from the tip of the wand. I could feel a flood of magic wanting to bolt out of me. I waved it as a huge fire expelled from the tip of cherry wood wand. A wolf came running out, burning everything in its path, flinging this way and that, as I swished the wand left to right and pointed it straight at the snake faced man. The man opened his mouth and out came a black fire like serpent, swallowing the wolf whole and went to strike at me. Without saying a word, I motioned my hand and wand in a clockwise circle, when a whish of air came and picked up the fire serpent and came before me as I brought it together into a black ball, I flung it into the air, and combusted with a strike of bright blue electrical like light coming from the tip of the wand. The ball busted, throwing everyone back, shattering all the windows, glass, vases, and pictures. The wand knocked out of my hand, as I jumped up, and saw Narcissa lying motionless not far from me. I could hear her heartbeat and I looked toward the man who stood pointing his wand at me.
I felt the magic flowing out of me, my eyes burned, as I blinked and opened my eyes, all I could see was red. I felt My wolf fighting to come out, and I let her free. I sprang to all four, pacing back and forth before Narcissa's body, snarling, and baring my teeth. From the corner of my eyes, I saw another wolf, this one was grey and bigger than I was. Amber glowing eyes glowered in my direction, as the werewolf lunged at me. The unknown werewolf and I fought, biting and ripping of skin, blood splattering the walls and floor of the room we were in. Until finally, I was laying underneath a heavy body, exhausted and in pain, I tried my best to get out from underneath the dead weight that was holding me down. I felt the suffocating feeling, I couldn't breath, trying to gasp for air, I was pulled upright, and a bag pulled over my head, I felt chains on each of my wrist, and my arms yanked apart. In the mist of my fight, I had dislocated my shoulder, I screamed out in pain.
I began to panic because of the bag over my head, I tried my best to calm herself down, as I was gasping for air. I pulled at the chains on my wrists, but they kept my arms spread apart. I could not concentrate on anything, as my panic attack consumed me. Tears were streaming down my face, as I panicked over not being able to take a deep breath, the short gasps turned into me hyperventilating, finally the bag was pulled off my head. My hair was everywhere, I hung my head as I climbed out of my panic attack. I began sobbing, pulling at the chains, screaming because of the pain in my shoulders. In the midst of my own chaos, I was struck on the side of the head. I saw stars, shaking my head to get my bearings together. In front of me stood the unknown werewolf, a rugged looking beast of a man. His hair hung down his shoulders. He had a scar on his left eyebrow, his amber eyes had a sinister look. I leaned back on the chains and with all my might, I use both my legs to kick back the man in front of me. The werewolf flew back landing on his ass and jumped back up. The werewolf's nails were black sharp claws, that slashed my left shoulder and across my chest, shredding the top of my dress. He lifted his arm again ready to strike her again, until he was ordered to stop.
"Enough!" The snake looking man hissed coldly.
The werewolf backed off from me as I stared straight into the red eyes of the man whose face looked like a snake. All I could think about was the pain and throbbing of the open wound on my shoulder and chest. The man had pointed his wand at me, as I started thrashing in the worst pain I had ever felt, I went several minutes without screaming until it was too much, I screamed until my throat was raw, the pain finally stopped. Tears were dripping off my chin and I was sobbing until I was gasping for air.
"Was that necessary?" The man asked mockingly. "Now, why are you here?"
"I don't know!" Ash had barely got out between the gasping sobs.
"How do you not know why you are here?" The man asked. "Greyback!"
"My Lord!" Greyback answered.
"Flog her until she is ready to answer me." The man commanded.
"As you wish, my Lord." Greyback answered with a smirk.
I screamed in pain, as my dress and back was shredded. I could feel the cold air licking at my wound. I heard a whip ready to strike, as it flicked my back, one, two, three, four, five, over and over, until I lost count, and could not scream no more. I hung from the chains that held me up. I had lost consciousness from the pain of the flogging I had received. There was blood pooled around my feet, as I opened my eyes, and the intense throbbing pain that covered my entire back.
"Now, tell me why you have come here." The man demanded.
"I don't know." Ash whispered as she trembled.
"Greyback! Again!" The man bellowed.
I screamed as my raw back took more whippings. Blood splattered, as I heard and felt my flesh tearing, I had lost count on how many more lickings I received. Breathing heavily between my sobs and screams. Finally, it stopped. I hung by the chains, my wrist raw from the cold mental rubbing into my skin.
"Now, are you ready to talk." The man asked again.
"I don't know. My parents left some kind of key for me when I got home. I was instructed to hold it and it brought me here. I don't know why!" Ash rasped.
"Narcissa!" The man hissed.
"Yes, my Lord." Narcissa muttered.
"Why did she come?" The man asked.
"Her parents are friends of the Malfoys. It was an agreement between her parents and Lucius and I, if anything were to go wrong in the States, they could come here." Narcissa replied as calmly as she could. The anxiety and fear was evident in her reply as she looked at me, broken before her.
"Take her. I will discuss this with Lucius. What is the blasted Order up too now?" the man hissed.
I was flung over the shoulder of the werewolf Greyback, blood was splattered on the floor where I had hung, my dress and cream color bra ripped and covered in blood scattered on the floor. Greyback walked through the door where several individuals stood with masks and black cloaks, I hung over his shoulder, my hair swinging as he walked. Making his way back to my room, I could hear the echoes of each of his steps, as the cool air stung my raw back. I quietly cried, as tears and snot dripped on the floor as Greyback walked. He had gripped my bottom, squeezing it and sniffing me.
"You will pay little she-wolf. Remember that!" Greyback snarled.
Greyback open the door to my room, and set me down roughly. I barely had the strength to hold myself up, as I sat on my bed. My hair clung to the sticky blood on my chest. Greyback looked at my bare chest, licking his lips as he stepped up to me, yanking my head up to look at him and pulled me up by my hair. Greyback sniffed the side of my neck and licked my jawline, with his free hand, he groped my breast roughly, and slid his hand down my abdomen, under my panty and his index and ring finger spread my folds and entered his middle finger inside me roughly. Pumping one, two, three times, when I felt his hard bulge against my hip. I did not have the energy to fight him, as I watched him lick his fingers. His amber eyes were completely dilated when he yanked me around and pushed my face first onto my bed. Greyback ripped my panties off and spread my legs, and I heard him unfasten his belt and unzip his pants. I felt the tip of his moist hard cock against my ass. All I could do was sob into the bed, as he fondled me. I felt his cock at my entrance, when the door to bedroom was blasted off its hinges.
"Get away from her!" Fenrir snarled at his father.
"I'm just having a little fun." Greyback snarled at his son.
"Draco, get her out of her." Fenrir ordered.
Draco came through the door, shocked to see the state I was in, he wrapped me in his cloak, and picked me up, as I screamed in pain.
"I'm sorry." Draco whispered into my ears, as he carried me across the corridor to his bed room.
All I could hear was snarling and fighting in my bedroom, all I could feel was the pain from all my wounds. Draco summoned his house elf, as he set me down in his bathtub. He had me drink out of cup, and turned on the tap, as warm water began to fill the tub. I didn't feel any of the pain, as Draco began to rinse the blood off me. He washed my hair and put my hair in a bun to prevent it from getting on my wounds. He wiped the blood off my face with a warm washcloth. I silently cried, as he poured different color liquid into the bath water. She felt the tingle all over her back, shoulders and chest where her wounds were open. She sat in the warm water until the water got cold. The bath water was red with her blood. Draco helped her out of the bathtub, helped dry her off, careful not to touch the open wounds and helped her into one of his silk boxers. He covered her breast with a hand towel as he sat her down on a chair. Draco mixed several different paste together, and carefully started covering her wounds on her shoulder and chest, he then helped her lay down on her stomach on his bed, and sat next to her as he applied the paste to her entire back. He got up and got a vile out from his nightstand and told Ash to drink it, to help her sleep. Without hesitation, Ash drank the liquid down and put her head back down on the pillow as tears streamed off her face onto the pillow. She closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
Pansy found me sitting in the bathtub, shivering from the cold water. It took awhile to snap out of it. Pansy has always been with Blaise during all this time, so she hasn't had the pleasure of seeing the scars on my back. I am just grateful its smooth scars rather then rugged heaps of flesh. She was shocked as she helped me out of the tub and dried me off. I seen her looking at the thin chains around my wrists, ankles and neck. I just feel empty and hallow. These are the times, I hate the emptiness as it easily swallows me whole. Sitting in the dark, looking out the window, waiting again. That small flame of hope is barely flickering as I wait for my husband to return. I hate this, lately that is the only feeling I've been feeling, hate. Sometimes I wonder if I should check myself into St. Mungo's hospital. So I won't be such a burden to my husband. I don't think I will be sleeping tonight. So I'll end here.
Mrs. Nott