DISCLAIMER: Obviously I don't own any of the characters in Harry Potter or anything belonging to Harry Potter World, it belongs to the only and only creator J.K. Rowling.

~~AM~~

Entry Seventeen

January 17, 2001

It was a wonderful day, today. I got to wake up next to my husband. I woke up with his arms wrapped around me, snuggled against him. It is the best way to wake up. It was snowing outside, so the view was white, you could see the trees being covered with snow. I laid next to him, looking out the window. It's been a while since I had awakened in such a blissful mood. Being surrounded by my blankets, pillows and my husband, the scent I smelled was home. I should of have already brought my bedding with me, maybe I wouldn't have gone through what I did, but now I know.

I get tired of these episodes, this last one was a major one, other times they have been subtle and manageable. I really think I scared Blaise and Pansy. I am sure when Thoe goes on his long missions, I must take that vivid orange potion and keep one with me for just in case moments. After episodes like that, I wonder what everyone thinks when I am back to my "normal". I always see the hesitation when I am around. Like I'm glass ready to shatter. I have been wanting to find away to take these chains off. I just haven't had the energy to go into research mode and dedicate my time to read and figure out how to take them off. To be honest, I like the simplicity of my life right now. Since I had came to England, I was always working, thinking, draining magic and energy physically and mentally. It all stopped once these chains were placed on me. No one depended on me anymore, no one came to me asking to help figure shit out, no one came around anymore. Just Draco and Blaise, but mainly to see Theo and I would just be in the background, reading or painting. Occasionally, they would accompany me while I read or painted. I am not much of a small talker nor am I one to host people either. Its like everyone is walking on eggshells around me, like I am a ticking time bomb, ready to explode. Sometimes, it feels like I am.

I clung to my husband's side the entire day. I am so damn needy its disgusting. But I relish in his presents, and he just allows me too. I gave me my potions this morning and afternoon, help feed me like a child. He made sure I ate all my food. Since he had been gone, I wasn't eating properly, I've lost some weight. Because he can pick me up like I weigh nothing. I don't see any strain on his body when he lifts me. I think any person would be happy to know their spouse don't strain themselves to lift them up would be happy about it. I finally have my appetite back.

After dinner, we took a bath together. It was nice candlelight bath, it was relaxing. I leaned against his chest while he softly peppered kisses along my neck and caressed my breast, cupping them and pinching my nipples lightly. The pleasurable feeling going straight to my core and with it leaning my head against his shoulder, exposing my neck to him, and feeling him kiss and lick the base of neck that turn to him sucking and leaving several love bites. I felt his cock get hard against my back side. I turned around to face him, looking into his beautiful green eyes, oh how I love how he looks at me with desire. I finally properly kissed him, with my hands running through his hair. I passionately kissed him, that kiss was the tipping stone, because yanked my head back with my hair, as he aggressively kissed and sucked at my neck and down to my bosoms. As I straddled him, I could feel his hard member rubbing against my folds. I could feel the excitement in my lower abdomen and the tingling sensation as I could feel my pussy begin to get wet with anticipation. We were both breathing hard, his hands on my hips, he lifted me to hoover above his cock, I felt the pressure of the tip of his hot cock against my entrance, I reached holding his cock, as he slowly lowered me, and felt the tip of his cock enter. I looked at him, kissed him and told him I wanted him, all of him. He lost all his composure and pulled me down on to his cock, as it entered me completely. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he gripped my hip even tighter, pulling me up and down his hard length. I rocked to his rhythm, thrusting, pulling, and pushing and hitting the deepest spot. He got up, as we were still connected and got out of the bathtub and walked us to the bed, and laid me down, while he stayed between my legs. Thrusting, in and out, over and over, the tight coiling of my core, feeling him sliding in and out, thrusting harder and harder, I pulled him closer to me, as I kissed him, and he continued to thrust into me relentlessly and moaning into our kisses. As his thrust become even faster, the tightness of pleasure coiling even more, until finally breaking and letting the pleasure break through, and hearing him grunting as he had his release as well. Riding the high of sexual pleasure throughout my body, I kissed him before he pulled out and I could feel the stickiness our of sexual gratification. With a wave of his wand, he summoned clothes and cleaned up our mess. We cuddled together and whispered sweet nothings to each other.

After awhile, there was a knock at the door, it was Blaise carrying a tray of potions and asked Theo to meet with him in his study for a bit. I took the potions and said I would take the dreamless sleeping draught until after I write in my journal, and I would be fine alone. Theo reluctantly left after giving me a kiss. I sat on the sofa and read my book, and now I'm writing in my journal. I didn't think we would have sex. I thought he would be gentle, but I guess he was as impatient as I was. I had also called for Miffy to bring me a contraceptive potion, which I drank. I am going to take the rest of my potions and wait for my husband to return.

XO,

Mrs. Nott