Erika's feelings for Lyle start to change. Does Lyle feel the same way? What's going to happen?

And how long can she go on suffering the abuse?

Worse - she's in real danger by the end of the chapter. Will she be able to get out of it?

Enjoy!

Please leave a review even if it's only to let me know how to improve or what you would like to see happen.

I don't hear from Troy but after a couple of months, my friends tell me he's moved to San Francisco where his dad received a better job offer in the sister company there to the one, he was working in L.A.

It's all terribly suspicious and I know my father is behind it.

My best friend Marie somehow gets his new address and telephone number. Luckily, Mom has restored my phone back in my room on the strict condition that I don't use it to 'call and fraternise with any boys'.

Whatever.

I try phoning but am too shy to speak to either his mom or his dad when they answer. I just put the phone down.

Eventually after the fifth time of persistently phoning, I get Troy.

'Erika' He sounds breathless with excitement but also some other emotion.

Something's wrong.

'What happened?' I whisper down the line, keeping an ear out for either my parents coming down the hallway to my bedroom. 'You just disappeared without a word…I've been so worried!'

'I know and I'm sorry. But we didn't have a choice…Your Dad was threatening my family… My Dad…He…We couldn't stand up to him, not with all his wealth and connections.'

'I know. I know what he's like.'

'I'm sorry but I shouldn't even be talking to you.'

'Was that one of Dad's conditions?'

No answer.

I toy with the idea of shocking him with the knowledge I'd lost his baby – unproven but I was convinced of it and I don't even know if Dad told them. However, I would never go as far to tell my ex-boyfriend how I miscarried. Of course, Jose has told me nothing about the arrangement but he might have informed them of my pregnancy to increase his leverage over them but if he'd wanted to prove it, I would be forced to undergo an DNA test. And that might backfire in his face for obvious reasons…So I wasn't sure.

In any case, I told myself that my father could easily conceal or change any embarrassing paternity test results.

After a long, awkward pause, I'm the one who braves speaking again and this makes me despise him a little more and love him a little less. 'Why do you sound like that? So cold?'

Just then I hear a girl's high-pitched and deliberately cutesy voice in the background. 'Who you talking to, Troy? When are you getting off the phone?'

'Who's that?'

'Look, I have to go.'

'Is that your girlfriend?' My voice rose in anger and betrayal. It had only been 3 months and he'd already replaced me!

'Yes. I'm sorry…'

'Stop saying you're sorry!' My voice cracks. 'Did you ever love me? Or did you only just use me because of who my father is?'

No hesitation this time and for that I'm grateful. 'I did… Love you.. I swear. But…'

'But what?' I can hear my voice sounding as cold and hard as Jose and I hate it. I can tell it unnerves him.

'Your dad threatened to accuse me of raping you. Even though my parents told me you denied it and they didn't believe him but…Me! Rape! It would have destroyed my life before I could even get round to college applications…'

'And then he offered your dad a big promotion to move away, right?'

'Yes.' He answers in a small voice. 'We couldn't stay around after that…'

'Troy!' That girlish voice again, sounding more impatient. 'Are you talking to another girl?' She sounds pissed off and I smile a little despite everything.

'I'll be there in a minute!' I hear him call back.

'It's OK. Just go back to your girlfriend.' I tell him and slam the phone down.

I hover over it nervously for what seemed like hours but was only 10 minutes at most in fact, hoping he would ring me back and prove that he did really love me after all.

He never did.

I clutch myself and rock back and forth slowly as I sob. I contemplate hurting myself but straighten up and decide not to.

Maybe it was for the best. Troy was spineless in my eyes now and I'd lost respect for him. He hadn't even tried to reach out to me.

Someone else my father had taken away from me. He'd also got my brother into Princeton that September even though Lyle was still only 17. But I couldn't blame him for escaping my parents as soon as he could.

I would.

Things calm down after Dad made me lose my baby and even my grief for him/her and my ex- boyfriend fades with time. I endure the sex - oral, hand jobs and sometimes intercourse with my father. It's disgusting but he doesn't go out of his way to be sadistic like on his birthday but I don't kid myself that the 'rough sex' will never happen again. I just enjoy the respite and pray Lyle will decide to come home one weekend soon for a visit. He was only 17 when he was accepted into Princeton the previous September.

Jose changes my contraceptive pill to a stronger one and forces me to take it in front of him each day that he's there and pinches my nose until I prove to him that I've swallowed it down. He checks under my tongue too. He needn't have worried because I always took my medicine. Falling pregnant with the evil bastard's baby was my worst nightmare.

'Good girl.' He strokes my long hair and I try not to shudder at his touch.

Time passes and the weather grows warmer and more pleasant.

My prayers are answered and Lyle does come home for a weekend to see the family. Mom always hates his girlfriends so the latest one isn't invited. I can't help be happy about having my big brother all to myself and being able to sneak into his bed. He pretends to be surprised when I do this and tries to protest but he's smiling at me the whole time he does. Eventually, he either waves me in or lets me stay if I'm already there and best of all, Dad leaves me alone while he's there. I'm in heaven when Lyle puts his arm around me and tells me to go to sleep.

But lately I noticed a change. Whenever he touched me these days, his touch burned and lingered. Burning without hurting. Then I caught the way my brother surreptitiously watched me in the mirror while I did my hair once in my room once and how his gaze sank lower to admire my new curves. But his glances were innocent - just sweet admiration like he'd never really seen me before and lacked the sleazy lust of dad's. I know he didn't want me to see him but I did.

He'd be mortified.

Even more so if he could read my thoughts. Yet my big brother had never done one inappropriate thing or said anything that made me think he saw me anything more than a pesky little sister he had to take care of.

Lyle wasn't to know, for example, how I started replacing my dad when we had sex and somehow it made a little bit more bearable.

In my mind's eye, it was Lyle I was massaging with my mouth, it was him inside me, especially when my father entered me from behind and it was easier to imagine. I even moaned as my body moved by itself as if in appreciation to my violation to my mortification.

Jose noticed. 'You don't seem to hate sex as much as before. Maybe I need to be rougher with you. Try new things.'

'No, please, don't, Dad!' I was terrified.

He smirked cruelly. 'Then be a good girl for me and then I won't have to punish you. Show Daddy how much you like it.'

I pretended, hating myself even more than I had ever thought possible.

And it was still impossible to be good all the time.

I was overjoyed when Lyle visited again. While he'd been gone, my nights were filled with these guilty dreams of him…touching and kissing me in ways no brother ever should and I'd woken up in a sheen of guilty sweat and shame.

But also, with excitement and my heart thudding in my chest.

Although sinful and wrong, at least my dreams of Lyle's forbidden love had replaced my nightmares of our father.

Then something happens that sends my illicit feelings for my own brother go into overdrive.

I'd sneaked out of the window and followed him to a pool party at our neighbour's house while Mom and Dad were staying overnight in the city for dinner. It being mid-terms, a lot of frat boys were going to be there.

My mother's hateful accusations from before rang in my ears as it seemed I was about to make them into reality. I tried to shut her out of my head but the part of me that was rebellious was laughing inside.

And to be fair, Lyle didn't know I had hitched a ride from a passing car of tipsy teenagers going there too and if he'd been sober, he would never have let me stay. Not only because of my age but because he didn't trust the other boys from his fraternity and most of them being wealthy were from the Beverly Hills area or just around.

I'd put on a black goth dress not showing too much in my opinion, done my hair and make-up to look older. I didn't want to be thrown out.

Nobody harassed me at first, it was like I was invisible and that was my aim.

I helped myself to beer and got a little tipsy not being used to it. Or maybe it was the pills as well the doctor had me on.

Enjoying the feeling of freedom and being a little drunk, I staggered upstairs looking for the bathroom in the huge mansion. I found it, waited in the queue and went in before I started feeling dizzy and stumbled into a nearby bedroom, closing the door behind me.

The light was off and I heard excited, young male voices rushing up the stairs towards the room I was in.

'She's in here! Been drinking like a fish all night and totally out of it!'

'Get in there, boys!'

Something about their tone made me want to hide before they burst in.

Then I heard peals of dirty laughter as they burst in and saw their big shapes moving in the darkness. 'Line up! Who's going first?'