DISCLAIMER: Obviously I don't own any of the characters in Harry Potter or anything belonging to Harry Potter World, it belongs to the only and only creator J.K
Entry Twenty-Five
January 25, 2001
I write in this damn thing to help with my mental health. I keep telling myself that. I am doing this for my mental health. Well right now I am beyond enraged. I want to strangle Theo! I want to put my hands around his throat and squeeze the life out of him. I have loved that man with my entire being. I have been loyal to him, I have been everything under the fucking sun for that man. All his ideas, all his plans, all his decisions and choices, I have always supported him. Even when some were questionable, I supported his stupidity and his intelligences. I've never questioned him, not fucking once.
This husband of mine has seen me at my lowest of lows, he's seen everything, every single flaw of mine, every single once of happiness, sadness, anger, hatred, agony, disappointment, and betrayal. He has witnessed it all, yet this one thing he won't support me. Like shit, just say okay love, do what you need too I am here. Even if you don't agree. Isn't that want a husband is supposed to do or is it just the wives who are blindly supporting their fucking husbands without questioning anything. I don't know, maybe I am being a selfish cunt, I don't know. Why is he so oppose to me researching a way to get these fucking chains off or is he apart of the reason why I have these fucking things on me.
Should I be fucking suspicious of him, should I tippy toe around it and hide my research, its not like he's with me every single minute of the fucking day. I am the one who is going to be doing majority of the work anyways. So, what is the big fucking deal. Like I am going to announce it to the fucking world and want to get it published, like for fuck sake, I'm not academic scholar to be wanting shit published, this is for me and only me. Am I being too greedy and selfish? What is fucking wrong with wanting to be able to use my own fucking magic again. I can stay low key with it, I mean why would I want to go back to doing the shit I was doing before. I just want to be able to use my magic and live. Theo is acting like I'm some kind of psycho monster wanting to take over. Like who in their right fucking mind want to exterminate living human beings because they were so unfortunate not to have any magical abilities.
I am literally in cursed chains that is suppressing my fucking magic, and I want to change that. So, that makes me the fucking asshole. It's not like he's trying to figure it out for me. He's to fucking busy being the Dark Lord's bitch, I get left behind, left alone, left with none expect the house elves, left waiting and wondering if he's even going to come back. I am the one left waiting and waiting, pacing, and going fucking mental.
We spent majority of the day arguing about this whole blood magic research. Arguing back and forth, until I told him to leave and go back to our manor. Right now, I am tired and done with his bullshit. So, I am going to take some calming draught and the rest of my potions. My eyes are dry and puffy from crying like a fucking idiot. Right now, Theo can kick rocks for all I fucking care.
Angry and ready for divorce Mrs. Nott.