Mr and Mrs Dursley of Number Four Privet Drive were perfectly normal, thank you very much.

That's what Mr Vernon Dursley had thought.

When he first started seeing his wife, she had confessed that her sister was, in her words, a freak. That was all well and good. He wasn't marrying Lily, he was marrying Petunia. She had her quirks, of course, like keeping out of the sunlight and insisting that their bedroom was fitted with red lights, but he'd loved her.

Then his deceased sister-in-law's brat had been left on their front porch. He'd been hesitant, but Pet had said they had to take her.

The freakishness—magic—had continued from the day they took her until the day she'd left for good. The girl had befriended the Kann family, and unlike his wife, he was more than happy to allow her the friendship. It kept the freakishness out of his house. If she could control it better as the years went by, all the better. After she left for freak school, he'd rarely see her except for summers and one odd Easter break.

Then, when Dudley turned thirteen, he'd noticed a change. Petunia had given him a silver necklace with a red gemstone and told him to always keep it on.

The red reminded him of the bedroom lights.

A couple of years later, his niece snapped at his wife. He'd known it would always happen, sooner or later, but Petunia said she could handle it. And she did. Windows were broken, plates were shattered, and the door was blown apart, but Petunia cleaned everything up and walked away without a scratch.

Clearly 'Hogwarts' was a third-rate school if a middle-aged woman could defeat a so-called witch.

Dudley had started acting funny the summer after. He'd been breaking things left and right, distancing himself from his friends, acting like the world was going to end.

The necklace he wore shined a brighter red.

He'd intended to speak to his son during the holidays, but the company had demanded overtime and after that, all hell broke loose.

Aliens were real.

Petunia had looked peaky over the news, and, for the first time since they'd been married, Vernon noticed his wife looked younger. Much younger. He was older than her by two years, but she looked at least a decade younger than him.

"Skin care routine," she had said. He'd let the matter drop.

As more and more new reports came out about 'extraterrestrial life', the busier he became. Drills and other products Grunnings produced were in high demand. By the end of the year, he'd put enough away to ensure that he and Petunia had a very comfortable retirement.

He was preparing for Dudley's final summer at home when it happened.

Those blasted aliens had come to invade Earth.

Some people panicked. Some people fought. Others stocked up on food and water. He and Petunia decided to bunker down. Dudley had been unreachable, much to his dismay.

Less than two days after it began, the Invasion was over. Most of the United Kingdom was damaged. Some people had died. Others crippled.

But the worst discovery had been seeing his son, his only child, killing one of the invaders. Anger, confusion, and worry had overridden everything else.

The final blow had been his wife. Petunia didn't seem surprised with what had happened. She seemed to have expected it. As if seeing her son flying and shooting lasers out of his hands was a normal occurrence. As far as he knew, magic couldn't do that.

Was Dudley even his?

Then anger flooded him. How dare that bitch deceive him for the better part of two decades! How dare she force him to raise a child that wasn't his! He wasn't a cuckold!

Well, he'd straighten this out right now.

It was a Saturday morning. Grunning Drills head office had been destroyed, so there would be no work till construction had been completed. More than enough time to get to the bottom of this.

Petunia was already up. Breakfast was the standard British fare, but if she thought a good meal would distract him, she had another thing coming.

The two looked at each other after they'd finished. Petunia was clearly content not speaking to him.

"Why?" he asked.

Petunia sighed. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"That Dudley isn't mine?"

Petunia reeled back in shock. "Of course he is! You're the only man I've been with!"

Vernon looked at her skeptically. "I'll be taking a test."

"Do whatever you want," said Petunia with a sniff.

"What else?" grunted Vernon, taking a sip of orange juice, wishing it were something stronger.

Petunia picked up her fork, gently her right thumb running over the metal points. "Let me show you."

She plunged her fork into her forearm, but the prongs bent out of shape, to Vernon's shock.

He damn near fell out of his seat. "Is this some sort of trick?!"

"No, no tricks. No lies. Not anymore."

And then she explained.

Petunia wasn't human. Neither was Dudley. He didn't care that they were mostly human. The small bit of non-human in them, in their blood, was enough.

Petunia knew she was aging slower and would outlive him by decades, if not centuries. Dudley inherited her powers and she'd gifted him that strange necklace so that he wouldn't show any signs of it. Not that it helped. His son was a vigilante.

More importantly, his freak niece and the Kanns were also as alien as his wife was.

They were all freaks.

They were all abnormal. Freakish. Alien. Non-human.

And he was the very last to know.

His stomach rumbled dangerously. He'd been married to a freak. He'd reproduced with a freak. His entire adult life was a lie. He wanted to yell, to punch something.

Petunia just stared at him impassively. There was no fear in her eyes. Why would she be? Vernon was a bog-standard human. If she had a fraction of Dudley's strength, he had no chance against her.

Now was not the time to bluster about. He needed a plan. He needed somewhere to go.

And most importantly, he needed a lawyer.