fri. 16 december, 2005
...
Small town Forks, Washington in the Olympic Peninsula has always been a fishing port and harvesting town for lumber. A small country town, surrounded by oaks covered in moss and unbelievably green, rich dark soil, constant cloud cover and periodic rainstorms. The only downside of the small town gets a lot of complaints. No malls, no community center, no big money-making businesses. Small family businesses. This town is broke. Since the disappearances of an unknown animal running rabid, businesses closed down, houses became empty, people began to leave.
Including my mother and she filed divorce, and was moved to Phoenix, Arizona. It is mostly because of Bella. Bella was the glue to our small family especially after Nana died, Dad's mother. Renee had been adopted so no other family members, her adopted parents died before she turned 17. Bella had decided to go to the University of Phoenix, so that was one of her first options, so Renee fled there and haven't heard from her since Bella went missing. Life with Renee and Charlie together was so much different than life with them apart, it wasn't uncommon for them to argue constantly or not talk at all, but they always agreed on us and we had some great moments. We had some great vacations during the summers with road trips to different parts around the country, but that was gone now. All of it.
It was the month of September when my older sister, Bella, disappeared two days after her birthday, the day after her birthday rumors were that Charlsie Cullen quit at the hospital and moved away with the rest of his children—that still lived with him—to California for a better position. He was the best doctor we've ever had and well, we were crumbling now, he was a big help with donating to our small town. Edward was the last one that seen her, I seen him with her last before I got picked up for my shift at the grocery store. Dad was mad at me for five minutes until I told him that I had to go to work and he would've been mad that I skipped a shift to take a fifteen-minute walk with Bella and Edward. But it never killed the guilt of maybe being able to stop her disappearance, but we don't know anything who knows what happened to her, to the both of them. There was something about Edwards' eyes that haunted me in my dreams, something about the darkness and the way he stood in the yard when Bella and I got home from school. It haunts me in all hours of the night, I can't sleep, my father is stressing out searching for her all day and sometimes all night long.
Stressing out about keeping me in the house as much as possible, as safe as possible, I didn't fight with him in it. I have been in a pit of despair and guilt since Bella was declared missing, I have never felt more… I have never been insecure about myself as I have been for the past four months. I have thought that maybe they ran away, and I have mentioned it to Dad, but Dad didn't believe it. He couldn't get in touch with any of the Cullen's even if he wanted to, but even when I considered it, I didn't think they would run away. Would they?
After everything happened three months ago, 278 people. 278 people live here now, all the way back since March. After Bella and a few more missing people by this mysterious animal, two weeks ago our population total came in, and I knew Dad was planning on moving too before he even told me. Last night he told me he wanted to move to La Push, I couldn't believe my ears, we would be moving into the even smaller town of 163, we were going to make it 165. I was going to be the new kid.
It was a particularly warm today for early late december around 50 which is surprising, the word was an understatement. School is always the same, I dragged myself through school having no restful sleep because of my nightmares about Edward Cullen. The nightmares are always different but they always end up with Edward Cullen jumping down from a treetop, crimson red ravenousness irises, running through the forest, always calling someone and then I'm awake. The day went on quickly, and before I knew it driving home from school. I didn't sleep that night, I kept seeing Edwards' face every time I tried to sleep, I knew that I was going to crash soon and I would be stuck in a never-ending loop of nightmares until I woke up.
It's been officially three months since she went missing.
It hasn't been the first time. And it definitely wasn't going to be the last.