Wings of gold and blue stayed around Shirou. Warmth ran through them, even more so than the boiling heat he felt pooling in his body. He didn't feel hot as in sweating, but hot. His body was cold, and he could feel the frigid air of the world so much stronger now, but his soul was warm. It was as gentle and nurturing as it was intense.
Shirou had no clue what to do in a situation like this. He could feel some banal part of his mind trying to reject what he'd become, the cold logic attempting to stamp out the warmth. It whispered that none of this made sense. He was a normal human being, not some inhuman being who went against the very common sense of humanity.
The cold logic melted in the searing heat like a small ice cube in a sauna. What use was logic in a situation like this? He knew he was no longer human, regardless of what little sense it made.
Shirou had no idea what to do about it. What was he supposed to do?
Minutes passed before Shirou recovered enough to look over his body, hoping to find anything that would give him direction.
Shirou spread out his wings, causing a small wooshing sound. The butterfly wings sprouted in two parallel rows in the center of his back. Each wing had two pairs, which meant he either had four wings or two wings, right? He could voluntarily move the forewings and hindwings from their counterparts, so it must have been four.
In total, the wings were long enough to span from his neck to his knees if he was standing up. When spread out, their wingspan was a little less than that of his arms.
The wings were thick and weighty. Yet, they seemed so natural. They didn't throw off his balance or pull him back. His body was perfectly adjusted to his new appendages.
Looking at them, Shirou was hit with a splattering of curiosity. What did they feel like to be touched?
He once heard that he should never touch the wings of a butterfly since they are fragile. A small tap would be enough to break them, leaving the insect unable to fly.
Shirou considered it for a moment. He didn't know if feeling them would ruin his wings, but there was a small chance it would. Still, his wings were larger and thicker than those of a tiny insect. They had to be more durable. The idea they weren't left him feeling defensive over them.
The boy turned his head to look at his wings, and his left hand reached over his right shoulder toward his new appendage.
Shirou flinched as his hand touched the gold and blue wing. A mixture of pleasure and pain shot through him. It was sensitive like a sunburn, but it still felt pleasing to the touch. The scales were surprisingly soft. Were they just like that? Or would they grow harder with time?
He removed his hand from his wing, revealing an undamaged appendage.
The boy raised his hand to his ears. His hands passed over their pointed length, confirming what he had seen before. They had changed. They weren't the ears of a human, but that fit, didn't it? He wasn't human anymore.
What had he become?
Kiritsugu often left for months at a time when he was still alive, leaving Shirou alone. It was lonely, but it was always made better by the stories Kiritsugu told him when he got back. They were fantastical stories of mages and what they could do. Some even made reference to vampires, but his old man never really talked about them.
His old man never mentioned any other creature, and Shirou had no clue what else existed in the world.
Wings. Pointed Ears. And weird, unnatural eyes.
Those were the traits Shirou had to go on to figure out what he was. With no set boundaries as to what exists, he had to consider everything.
He wasn't a Yokai. He couldn't think of any stories of yokai that started as humans before sprouting wings and pointed ears. There were those with the wings of birds of prey, but butterflies definitely weren't birds of prey.
He had seen a western movie or show with butterfly-like wings, pointed ears, and fairies. But they were Western creatures; why would he become one? And why did it sound almost so right?
Maybe he could find more information about fairies or this… metamorphosis in one of Kiritsugu's books.
Yes, that was something he could do. He would just need to go to the room with all those books on the supernatural…
What if Taiga was still at the Emiya residence? What would she think if he saw him?
He would have to be careful and deal with that later. His sister would understand. She would know that he was still himself—Shirou Emiya.
The thought of his name felt weird. It was not wrong, but it was not correct. It only defined a part of his whole. There was another deeper name…
Shirou put that strange thought to the back of his head as fast as he could. He needed to deal with his new nonhuman aspects before he thought about other things. Those were issues he was ready to face.
The boy with long ears stood up off the cold ground. A sore spot couldn't be found on his body. Instead, he felt better than ever. The warmth of his wings flowed through his body. Something else filled them and circulated through his body like blood.
A set of unnatural blue eyes looked over the shed one last time. The grill used for the Fujimura group's functions. The air conditioner. A step-stool. A workbench. Tools everywhere. A small knife lying on top of a stack of magazines.
His wings weren't moving as he looked at the last object for a moment longer. The knife could be useful if the worst happened.
He could simply cut off his wings with a knife—though he might want a bigger one. His ears would be harder to hide because the wounds left behind from cutting off their elongated length would be obvious. His eyes couldn't be fixed with a knife. He would need to come up with another last-resort plan for them, maybe sunglasses.
Shirou turned from the objects in the shed and began walking up the stairs to leave. They squeaked slightly as he stepped on them—the smell of the shed and outside mixing as he reached the exit.
He tried to open the door, struggling for a moment before remembering it was locked. His ears turned slightly red in embarrassment. The heat rushing to the tips was further back than he was used to.
With one quick motion, Shirou unlocked the door and exited the shed. A rush of cold hit him as he took a step outside, closing the door behind him.
Snow was falling from the sky, almost seeming to dance along its descending path. The courtyard was filling with more snow than it already had. The nearby roofs and the like were painted white by the weather of the season.
Visible breaths escaped the boy as he walked forward through the courtyard. The coldness of winter hit his wings the hardest, making even Shirou shiver. Fluttering them back and forth did little to help them.
The darkness of the winter sky seemed grimmer to Shirou's new eyes. The depths of the night grew into an abyss that could swallow the brightest sun. The cold was infinitely more encompassing than before. Walking through the thickening snow made it feel like it was trying to swallow him. One misstep was all it would take.
Shirou began to walk faster, no other sounds hitting his ears. No taste filled his mouth, nor did any touch besides the coldness of winter. The chill was doing its best to extinguish his warmth.
There was no one else there to offer him any of their warmth. Even if his soul felt like it was on fire, that only made the cold worse. Before, he was used to it, but now he knew what warmth was. And the cold was assaulting him for it.
He reached the other side of the courtyard, covered in snow. His wings felt stiff, their physical warmth inverted. Still, their glimmer didn't seem to dampen in the least.
Maybe they would return to normal when warmed up, assuming the snow didn't mess them up.
Quietly, he continued to walk towards the room with books. It was placed in a room between Shirou's and Kiritsugu's.
Passing his old man's room again without stopping, Shirou couldn't help but wonder what Kiritsugu would think. What would he do?
He would know what to do. He could have figured out what happened in seconds and told Shirou what to do. But he isn't here. The old man wouldn't be able to help Shirou again.
Shirou reached the room with the books and slid open the door without making a sound. Closing it right behind him. He let out a small sigh as he turned towards the room, relieved Taiga didn't see him. Without knowing if she was still here or not, Shirou wasn't sure how much time he had before his sister found him out. Even if he was sure she had gone home, he had no clue what time it was. It could still be night, or it could be partway through the morning.
He didn't know what he wanted to find in the books, but he could only hope he had enough time to find it.
The room was warm, heated to a comfortable temperature. It was the size of Shirou's bedroom but filled with neatly organized stacks of texts. An aroma of old books filled the air. In the middle of the room were a few of Shirou's notebooks and some pencils set on a small table. A book or two Shirou had been reading stacked next to them.
Kiritsugu either had or had gotten him the books when Shirou asked him to teach him to be a sorcerer. His old man forced him to go through them slowly, taking notes on everything. At his current pace, it would take him years to go through all the books, putting aside those he couldn't even read. The only reason he had a chance to begin one of the English books was that he stole a peek at some of his sister's English notes before and had a dictionary to help him translate them.
The contents of the books could seem to be random, and they could look cheap. Almost all of them looked less like actual occult texts and more like cheap, inauthentic fakes, but Shirou didn't have any place to judge. Kiritsugu was the one who knew about magic. If his old man told him he needed to read these tomes to use sorcery, then it was true. Kiritsugu would make sure he wasn't studying fake things after all and had no reason to try to sabotage his own son's efforts.
Shirou's lack of results could only be blamed on himself. Not his teacher.
The books had to be good, and one of them must have something that could help him. It was up to him to find it.
Formerly amber eyes looked across the room. He obviously didn't have time to go through all the books before Taiga came looking for him. He needed to narrow down the books.
Thinking back on the books he'd read, none of them had any information that could help him. He could skip over them.
He would have to go through the rest of the books quickly. First, he could quickly check the titles and table of contents of the Japanese ones to see if they have any relevant information. The English ones would be next, but it wasn't like he could read them easily. Unless one of them was obviously relevant, he should ignore them. As for books in any other language, he would have to ignore them.
Once he was done sorting through the books, he would just need to read them.
Before starting, Shirou thoughtlessly brought his hand up to one of his pointed ears.
What information was he hoping to find? Something to hide what happened to him? Change him back? Or maybe some form of answer as to what happened to him?
He wasn't sure.
If he did find a way to hide his new features, there was a good chance he was incapable of doing it. No other sorceries worked for him, but then again, there might be something that doesn't require a spell.
As for changing back…
Trying to think back to his dream. So much of it was muddled, vague. He could remember the final warning, walking down a path of two—the vibrant island of unspeakable beauty. Something fell and was replaced, converted, shattered, lost. He had no clue what, not that he could bring himself to care. The last thing he could remember was falling and being surrounded. His mind opening – seeing – something he can't remember yet wishes to.
He didn't want to lose his humanity, but he made the choice, didn't he? Now, he had to live with the consequences. There are some decisions you can't take back, and he had made one.
Besides, it wasn't like the changes were that bad, were they?
That simple, lackadaisical thought passed through Shirou's mind. He couldn't refute that thought, not when so much of himself agreed. Far too much for someone who just transformed into something else.
Finding some form of answers might put his heart to rest and help him figure out what to do next.
Shirou didn't know, but he started going through the books one at a time. The process took what felt like forever. For many of the books, he didn't even stop to check the table of contents.
'The art of Ouija boards'
'Brief overview of Shinto beliefs'
'Fortune telling with tarot cards'
'How to become a psychic'
He didn't need to check books like those to know they didn't have any information he would need.
Shirou set aside one or two books about transformations, but his attention eventually focused on a certain text.
'Western creatures and folklore'
Shirou wondered if it had any information on fairies. He took the book to the table and sat it down next to the other books he had selected.
He sat down on the floor, his legs crossed, in front of the low table, his back to the door.
The former human opened the book to its table of contents. There were multiple chapters clearly labeled with the names of various supernatural creatures in plain Japanese. Going through the list, he found one on fairies halfway through the book. It was the only creature of interest in the entire book. He doubted he was a werewolf, vampire, or ghost and didn't need a book to tell him that.
Shirou paused for a moment. He was supposed to go through all the books, finding the ones that might be helpful before reading them, but he couldn't help but ignore them. He wanted to read about the Fae, his mind pulled to them. Almost desperately. He needed to read about them.
He turned to the chapter on fairies. Fortunately, it quickly became clear that the author wrote the book to be very easy to read. It wasn't a book that would leave him confused because he only knew little about Western creatures.
The first couple of pages gave a basic overview of them.
Apparently, they weren't really one type of creature like a vampire or werewolf. Fairies, instead, could mean several different things. Sometimes, it referred specifically to creatures with humanoid shapes and wings, which have a habit of messing with people. Other times, it could be a broad term to refer to any number of magical creatures like goblins— basically, a catch-all word for lots of very different supernatural beings with small similarities. Even ghosts were sometimes considered fairies - or were fairies a type of ghost. The book isn't clear.
It made them sound kind of like the West's version of Yokai.
The book only vaguely mentioned the various origins of fairy legends. These origins were also being treated like they were just fantastical stories.
Shirou's massive butterfly wings slowly moved back and forth.
The boy didn't know if any of the origins were true. They ranged from being pagan gods that were demoted due to Christian faith to angels that didn't side with heaven or hell to an entirely distinct extinct species. Still, none of them were any more crazy than mages like Kiritsugu or whatever he had become. Any one of them being true wouldn't be surprising.
He turned another page in the book, only to be met with a full illustration.
It was a picture of the most popular form of fairies, though they didn't seem to be small or insect-sized. There were two of them, one man and a woman. The adult-sized fairies were dressed in lavish clothing colored in bright, pure colors like white or gold. They had pointed ears and beautiful insect wings sprouting from their backs. Hand in hand, they were dancing in a thick forest, seemingly almost ethereal.
Shirou looked at the picture, comparing himself to them. A feeling of familiarity filled him all the while.
The wings they had were just like his own. Their colors and patterns may have been different, but they were still butterfly wings. Their ears were pointed, but less so than Shirou's, which were longer than an adult's hand was tall and extended far past his hair.
Forest… it was kind of like the garden island he remembered from his dream. Both were areas of nature untouched by humans. The book did say that some believed fairies to be spirits related to nature, so both made sense if that was true.
Shirou looked back at his wings before taking one last look at the picture. Although the patterns and shapes of their wings may have been different, he could feel his mind acknowledging them as the same thing, memorizing their wings in the same way one learned a person's face.
As far as he could tell, he was close to fairies, with only the slightest discrepancies between himself and them. And the term... it felt right. He didn't know why, but he felt himself being led toward it.
Closing his eyes, he let out a sigh.
It might not be correct. Time would tell him if it was. But at least it was an answer to one of his major questions. If he ended up being wrong….
"Shirou."
Shirou's panic grew stronger than ever at the sound of his name and the door opening. His body jumped in surprise as the voice of his sister came from right behind him.
Face down on the dinner table was Taiga. She slowly stirred from her sleep.
Five more minutes… that was all she wanted. Five more.
But the thought of her younger brother hit her like a sledgehammer, and she knew she wouldn't be getting those five minutes.
The young adult sat up from the table, rubbing her eyes before looking over at the door Shirou left through.
She really messed up. Laughing at him was a horrible move.
No matter how silly she thought Shirou was being, she shouldn't have laughed. It was just so unexpected and childish that she couldn't help herself.
Like, please, being a superhero of justice, yeah, right.
The world isn't a comic book with superpowers and goodness. Only kids think it is.
Promising he would be a hero to Kiri right before he died… well, that's going to be a promise that wouldn't come true. Hopefully, Shirou will forget about it in a month or two. Her little brother could be annoyingly stubborn, and obtuse, though.
Taiga took a deep breath and stood up from the table. The smell of pizza from the delivery she got the previous night hit her nose as she used her wristwatch to check the time.
It was early. Two hours early. A young woman like her shouldn't be up at this hour, damn it.
Yet, she had something to do. She put it off the previous night, but she had to talk to Shirou.
She crossed her arms before leaving the room.
She would check if he was in the shed first, then make her way to his room,
If she found out he was sleeping out there in this weather, then she would drag him to the dojo. By the time she was done, he wouldn't be able to walk. Then, they would have the talk.
Once she reached the edge of the courtyard, Taiga let out a sigh of relief, which was immediately followed by a growl of annoyance.
There were footprints in the snow leading away from the shed. They looked like they probably fit Shirou's feet size. It meant he was sleeping in the shed, but it meant he was there.
And he had to have been in the shed for most of the night. If he left it earlier, the falling snow would've filled them in. At least he wasn't sleeping in there, little victories.
Taiga walked away, going toward Shirou's room. She frowned as she passed Kiri's room.
Kiri's death hurt; she really enjoyed spending time with him. Shirou was taking it much worse than her. Another issue she wasn't ready to deal with but had to.
She kept walking until she noticed light breaking through the cracks of one of the rooms – the one with all those weird books.
Taiga stopped, going to open the door. She hoped Shirou wasn't going to be in there reading those books in the middle of the night. She was already worried enough by him seemingly hearing things that weren't there. Spending his nights reading cheap voodoo books wasn't going to help matters.
Slowly, she opened the door, peering through it to see Shirou in the room.
"Shirou!" Taiga shouted, slamming the door open.
Her little brother jumped, turning toward her quickly. Slamming shut the book he was reading.
Unnatural – inhuman – blue eyes met hers. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wron-
Taiga shook her head, briefly closing her eyes. When she opened them again, she met the amber eyes of her little brother. He was sitting on the floor, normal as always.
Why did she think he had blue eyes? It must've been the lack of sleep.
The thought of those freakish blue eyes slipped from her mind, rationalized and forgotten.
She looked at Shirou's shirt and noticed he had two tears in the back. It made her pause, partly in curiosity and partly in shock that he'd walk around in a torn-up shirt. "How'd your shirt get torn like that? And why are ya sitting around wearing it?!"
Her brother flinched, and his shocked expression turned to confusion. He turned his neck and looked at his back. His eyes didn't just fall on the holes. They moved beyond them, gazing at empty spaces behind him as if there was something there.
"You didn't notice it?" Taiga asked, walking closer to him. She left the door open behind her.
"… No," Shirou said hesitantly, turning back to her. His hand reached up to his ear for some reason. Did it itch? He looked completely confused, almost out of it.
"Is everything okay?" she asked as she got close to him and put her hand on his forehead. He felt alright, at least he wasn't running a fever or freezing.
She felt a bit of concern, remembering the voices from the day before.
"Yes," her brother answered, pushing away her hand. His eyes glanced around nervously. He once again looked back at his back. "It's just been a long night."
Right… he was totally lying to her. Why he even bothered when he was such a horrible liar was a mystery.
"Sure," she said, expressing her disbelief. She took a seat next to Shirou, leaning her back against the table. Yet, she prepared herself to be serious. Messing up again would be unforgivable. "I'm sorry for laughing at you. It may have been silly, but you were opening up to me."
"It isn't silly," Shirou said, nervousness still in his voice even as a bit of stubbornness made itself known. "I'm going to be a hero."
Taiga held herself back from facepalming. This wasn't a battle she should be fighting right now. "But you understand you can talk to me, right?"
"Yeah, sure," Shirou responded after a moment, finally meeting Taiga in the eyes.
"Don't yeah me," Taiga complained at the guarded, lukewarm response. "I'm trying to be serious."
"You and serious aren't things that go together," Shirou rebutted.
"I'm an adult. I can be serious," Taiga held back the urge to scream or pout. She never had to deal with things like… this before. She's a yakuza princess who's never had to worry about anything. Now, she was trying to deal with her adoptive little brother's cargo plane full of baggage.
It's something she isn't ready for, but she's trying.
Shirou didn't say anything; he just gave her a look—one worth more than a thousand words of disagreement.
She really just needed to send him to a therapist he might talk to more than her. She clearly wasn't prepared for this. Her family could find one and keep it on the down low. It could be embarrassing or shameful if word got out that he was sending him to get treated. Shirou has been through enough already; he didn't need to be bullied, either.
Her grandfather could look into one that could check on hallucinations or whatever. Maybe they could fix Shirou before things got out of hand. The way he acted when she entered the room had only made her more concerned about it. Best to deal with it quickly.
Taiga watched her brother break his gaze with her, his eye glancing to the side. She then noticed his hand seemingly trying to touch nothing. Or did he think he was touching something? Either way, she felt the need to stop whatever he was doing.
She reached out before he could react and grabbed his hand – causing him to jump. The single jump of surprise seemed to turn into more confusion as he started looking at his back again while using his free hand to reach up to his ear.
"Wha–" he murmured before quickly claiming up, pulling his hand away from hers.
"Shirou, I'm trying my best to help, but I ain't qualified," Taiga admitted to him. Her brother flinched at being told she was trying to help him. "There's clearly some stuff going on that needs people who actually know what they're doing, okay? This isn't a discussion."
Her brother frowned, shifting repeatedly as if he couldn't get comfortable. She knew he didn't want to agree. He would rather do everything by himself, but he wouldn't fight her—not when he knew doing so would make her even more worried.
He nodded, though it took longer than she thought it would.
"Great!" Taiga cheered, feeling like one of her major worries had been dealt with. Relief flooded her. "I have more to scream at you for and stuff, but let's stop on a high note. NO, wait—go change out of that shirt!"
Shirou listened to his sister as she told him to change out of his shirt before getting up and leaving the room to heat up some pizza. His eyes never left her as she exited the room, not bothering to close the door behind her.
He didn't get it. Why didn't she see it, his changes?
For a brief moment, her look was disturbed—not terrified, but disgusted, unaccepting. Then, it faded into nothing. Taiga acted like nothing had happened like she'd seen nothing wrong with him.
Something had to have acted to make her not acknowledge what she'd seen. Was it the same thing Shirou felt when his sister got close to him?
Once again, he reached up and felt his ear. They weren't pointy but round. His wings were missing from his back, but Shirou could still feel them. Pushing against his skin from within. It left him with a constant feeling of discomfort and restriction.
Taiga felt so cold when she grabbed his hand, unnaturally so. Her hand should have hit his wing, but it passed right through it. It was like his wings were there, and then they weren't. The conflict of two objects existing in the same space was solved by his new from reverting to his old one.
It was there, hidden inside his old human self, waiting to get out. The new mystical warmth pooled within, further away than before, yet calling for him. An urge existed within him to reach out to it, to cloak himself in it.
None of it made sense.
Shirou looked around the room of books. The world seemed duller than ever, and the colors seemed more washed out. The sharpness and contrast he had seen before faded with the rest of his form.
How could he return to seeing the world of color?
The boy took a deep breath and stood up from the floor. He would do as his sister asked of him. Calmly, he walked out the door, moving to his bedroom, where he grabbed a new set of clothing. He then walked to the bathroom, doing his best to put aside his questions until he got in there, closing the door behind him.
He locked the door before putting his new set of clothing next to the bathroom sink. Behind the sink, a mirror reflected Shirou's appearance.
"My eyes," Shirou muttered to himself, unsure of what he was feeling.
Instead of amber eyes like those he was born with, he was met with pupilless blue eyes. All his other physical features were hidden underneath his skin. The unnatural brightness of his pupilless eyes was the only hint of his… inhumanity.
Did that mean they would be visible to others? Fuji-nee was looking into his eyes when she almost freaked out. But if she forgot about it, then others might as well. Did he really want to test that? If he hid them behind sunglasses or something, he'd be able to blend in with those around him.
The boy continued to look into his new eyes.
He remembered there was a saying that the eyes were the window to the soul. If true, then his very soul must have changed. That would explain the new energy he felt inside himself. Calling to him.
Shirou slowly broke his gaze with his reflection, closing his eyes. He felt a strange, warm, and chaotic power inside himself. Unsure of what he was doing, the boy followed his instincts, ones he had never had before tonight.
An elated feeling filled Shirou, anticipating the foreign energy despite his mind not knowing what it was. The changed parts of him longed for it on instinct alone – like how one doesn't have to be taught how to eat or drink.
He 'pulled' the energy closer, letting it spread throughout his body.
A shift expanded through Shirou. With his eyes closed, he relied on physical sensations to understand what was happening.
The feeling wasn't as intense as it had been when he first changed. Pleasant would be the best way to describe it. Especially the release of his wings. Shirou could feel them pass through the holes in his shirt without trouble. Free and unburdened. It felt good beyond the basic emotion. Having them be any other way would be uncomfortable and wrong in the most primal sense.
Shirou opened his eyes as he felt his shifting form finish its metamorphosis.
He was met with the same form he originally saw in his reflection back in the shed. The world returning to how it should look.
"I didn't think changing back would be so easy," Shirou said, not having expected this. He didn't know what would happen if he followed his instincts, but this was good.
Good.
For a brief moment, Shirou hesitated to apply the label of 'fairy' to himself. It made sense, but it was just speculation. Fully embracing it meant a fundamental change in his identity, and he didn't want to get it wrong. However, his hesitation quickly began to fade. He had endured a much larger change when he became Shirou Emiya. Shirou Emiya could handle another, even if he ended up being wrong.
Gears shifted in the newly-born fairy's mind, the intellect acknowledging what it had now become. A few moments of fog filled his consciousness as things seemed to solidify within.
Shirou blinked his blue eyes, and his hand reached up to his long, pointed ears. "I guess I should consider this my real form now."
He was born with his human body but wasn't human anymore. He'd become some type of fairy. It only made sense his real form would be the fairy one, especially since it was the most comfortable.
If he could stay in this form without any problems, he might.
Shirou looked away from the mirror, glanced at the bathtub, and then turned his gaze to his wings.
Unfortunately, his fairy form would cause countless problems in everyday life.
The world was made to be convenient for humans. It is built by them for them. Everything is made to suit the human shape and needs.
A fairy falls outside of that.
His wings alone would be an issue. Human clothing would be hard to take off if it somehow had holes in it that could fit his wings. Most would leave his wings trapped, probably painfully like a foot in a shoe far too small. Then, there was the issue of taking a bath.
Just looking at his bathtub, his wings were far too large to comfortably take a bath, and they would probably be pushing the shower curtain out if he tried to take a shower.
How did other fairies deal with things like this?
After all, there had to be others like him dealing with the same problems. He wished he could ask them for advice rather than blindly trying to figure everything out.
Shirou let out a sigh as a sudden feeling of loneliness hit him. He was used to the emotion, having felt it all the time when Kiritsugu would leave him alone for months at a time to travel the world. Yet, the self-proclaimed fairy knew this sudden surge wasn't related to his human issues.
It was fairy in nature.
Knowing there was no use in lingering on it, Shirou put it to the back of his mind. He should focus on changing into his other form. He needed to be human to take a bath or get his shirt off.
He managed to transform into this shape by pulling the power closer and letting it spread across him. Maybe doing the opposite would result in switching forms again.
Shirou closed his eyes to make it easier to focus. Slowly, he focused on the energy and tried to push it into a ball. The process was made difficult due to power continually slipping through his fingers like sand and some part of himself fighting against him. It wanted to keep the energy close, like a blanket on a cold winter morning. Sheer willpower was the only way to suppress this part of himself.
It took him several minutes, but he eventually managed to force the energy back, causing his form to turn into that of a human. The process was far less pleasant than the previous one. Somehow, his wings being pushed into his body wasn't the worst part. No, that went to the strange coldness which took the place of the warmth.
Shirou shivered as he opened his eyes. His fairy features were gone, reverting him to the state of seemingly human.
He walked over to the bathtub and began running hot water. Hopefully, the hot water will help the cold.
Hello, and good morning/afternoon/night.
Ok, this chapter was tough for a number of reasons, but first off.
I made a mistake in the last AN and thought Avalon (the sheath) was only mentioned in one line in a COTD book. It turns out it has its own section in C20's treasure section under the name Excalibur's sheath. I have altered Shirou's character sheet to account for it, specifically shifting his starting arts. My plan was to have him reproduce his tracing through a mixture of different arts. That will still happen but will take longer due to Shirou needing to earn points in them. Instead, he gets Spring 4 in arts due to Avalon (WoD) giving up to the third level, and the fourth level is Faerie Ring, which is close enough to Avalon (Nasuverse)'s bounded field defensive ability and Shirou's implied talent in bounded fields to add that extra point. Obviously, he wouldn't start out with any other arts.
I could go into more detail, but that might get a bit long. I'll probably post this on Spacebattles to get into more detail.
Moving on, there were multiple issues writing this chapter.
First off, writing Taiga in any serious role, especially one that turns her position as the symbol of normal life into an oppositional force. Also, I want to note that this fic is going to bash therapy or something – I've personally been to about half a dozen therapists – but is instead going the C20 route of the 'therapy' being criticized is the exploitive and fake miracle cure kind.
The second issue with this chapter was that Shirou was alone for most of it, making it really easy for the chapter to dissolve into a monologue hell.
The third issue ties into the previous one, which is that Shirou doesn't know anything and has no one to explain anything to him. So, just to make it easier for people who don't know the lore of Changeling or WoD, here's some basic information.
Chrysalis: the process by which a changeling emerges, often preceded by glances into the chimerical quality or hearing the voices of chimerical creatures without being able to see them.
Dream Dance: the moment a changeling actually awakens during Chrysalis. They generate a large amount of glamour during the process, making it easy for other changelings to find them. And changeling tradition says other changelings should go and aid the new changeling. Unfortunately for Shirou, changelings aren't accepted in Japan and are very rare, leaving him on his own for now. This dance also causes a moment of 'clarity' in the changeling before losing it all/most of it.
True Name: Changelings have multiple names, but their true name is the most important as it defines them, and knowing another gives one power over them. Changelings learn their true names during a ritual called the Saining/Naming. (Shirou's is obviously Avalon.)
Mortal seeming: the human form of changelings, it is important as it protects them from banality. It is the form that is almost always physically present in the Autumn world (the modern day). Mortal seemings always in some way reflect the fae soul, but not to the same extent. Sometimes mortal seeming can 'slip,' and their fae nature is heavily reflected in their bodies, visible to everyone. Shirou's eyes are an example of 'changeling eyes' where, on rare occasions, a changeling may develop unnatural eyes visible to all.
Fae Mien: the fae half of a changeling. It is always present, hidden within the fairy. Normal people can't see it unless enchanted or in specific rare circumstances. Other changelings can identify each other and see their mien even in the normal world. When Shirou switches between forms, he isn't really physically changing, nor are his wings physically within his body. It's more a matter of perspective. Shirou's Fae Mien faded when his sister's hand contacted his wing due to her high banality and his mind 'fixing' the contradiction of two objects in one space by briefly denying his Fae Mien. Also, the reason why Taiga saw Shirou grabbing the top of his round human ears when his long fairy ears should've had him reaching off into space is because of intent. Intent is important and a lot to explain, but basically, the example used in C20 is that of a large troll going through a small doorway. His mortal seeming would walk through the door, while his large Fae Mien would duck his head to pass through. The same is true here; Shirou reached for the top of his ear and thus touched it in both of its respective locations. (There's a lot more to mention about how this works, but let's leave it here.)
Wings: Fairy wings are different in that changelings with them feel discomfort, especially if their clothing doesn't have slits in the back for the wings, even when in their mortal seeming.
Mist: Think like the mist from Percy Jackson, just WoD did it first. It protects the minds of others by blocking out fae magic or other supernatural things relating to The Dreaming. Taiga forgot about Shirou's changeling eyes due to it, as she couldn't accept them as real. To her, Shirou's eyes were amber, not an inhuman blue, and as a very banal, unbelieving person, the mist will protect Taiga's mind from the truth.
The book room: a change brought about by the rules of the WoD. In fate canon, Kiritsugu tried to dissuade Shirou by teaching him a faulty and painful way to make magic circuits. In this world, he just got a bunch of fake and random supernatural books while claiming if he learned them well enough, Shirou would be able to become a sorcerer – despite all the books being bogus. Also, the English books were gotten afterward to try and motivate (trick) him into being better at reading the language after struggling with it in school.
There's a lot more, but that's good for now. There are some explanations that would be helpful, but I think it would be better to wait so they can sync with the story. That way, it can be done in a group with other related things. Though I wish I didn't have to put lore notes in, I'd rather do that than leave people confused.
Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day.