A cool wind blew as Shirou descended toward the island. His unearthly blue eyes looked at his foot before he landed, checking to make sure it was healed before touching down. The flesh was healed enough for him to land in the warm sand without any pain.
Unnatural blue palm trees swayed back and forth as Shirou glanced around the pleasant-smelling island. The sound of moving water filled the air but wasn't overwhelming.
The fairy's gaze fell on a cluster of blue palm trees, or more specifically, the person lying under them.
Shirou walked over to the person. The sand felt good against his exposed foot, soft like a bed.
He could make out more of the seemingly asleep person as he approached. They were a Japanese man in his mid to late twenties, skinny with long black hair flowing over his facial features. His bottom half was that of a fish, like a ningyo or mermaid. Part of it was green, but the lower down the tail one looked, the darker the color became until it was an unhealthy black.
The winged boy stopped right next to the sleeping man. Something was weird about the situation, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
Would it be ok to wake him up?
It might be slightly rude, but Shirou was chased by a monster and was completely lost. It should be alright.
"Hey, wake up," Shirou said, trying to wake the man up. When that didn't work, he knelt down next to the shirtless man and began to poke him. "Wake up."
The man didn't wake up, so Shirou continued to poke him and repeated his words in louder and louder tones until he began to stir.
The stranger's fishtail moved against the sand as he slowly opened his green eyes. A moment of shock filled the emerald iris before they sat up against a palm tree behind them. He yawned.
"How did you arrive upon my shores?" The merman asked. They spoke slowly but with either a somber or tired undertone. An accent was heavy in his speech.
"I don't know," Shirou told the man. He paused for a moment as he looked away from him. The merman was dull in comparison to everything else. It was distracting. "One moment, I was being chased through Fuyuki and a forest. The next, I was here—wherever that is."
The human fish's eyes widened at the mention of Fuyuki. Shirou almost missed the confusion that followed after a melancholy expression replaced it. "This is on my island. Alone here have I been since the day I was forced to flee from Fuyuki."
"Ahh… but the first to follow behind is one more unfortunate than I," the man spoke softly. His emerald eyes looked at more than just his body. Shirou noticed the way the stranger was especially entranced by his wings. "Being trapped within the webs of man. It is a fate I dare not wish on any."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Shirou asked, referring to the cryptic words. The man had taken complete control of the conversation and used it to make it annoyingly vague and confusing.
"Does that matter right now?" the merman spoke before reaching out for Shirou. "I can sense your fatigue. Rest now; we may speak afterward."
Shirou was about to object. He had to worry about the monster and how to get back home, not sleeping. Only to be stopped by a yawn, a crushing exhaustion hitting him all at once.
He knew he should be tired after everything that had happened that day, but he felt fine a few seconds ago. Why was it suddenly assailing him? Why couldn't he resist it?
Shirou felt his body fall into the arms of the merman. He couldn't feel anything. His senses were collapsing.
His eyes slowly closed, too heavy to remain open. He felt more tired than he'd ever been.
The world was too blurry for him to make out anything as his eyes shut and his mind faded into sleep.
The fairy awoke in a triangle-shaped field.
It was full of vibrant grass. It was dead. Shapes and symbols form from the corpses. Unreadable.
They stood up.
Was he sleeping? Yes. They remembered falling asleep.
Now they were 'here.' 'Here' wasn't ordered or wholly shaped, and neither were they. Their form was shifting, drifting. Yet they weren't worried; it all felt natural—how it should be.
The fairy walked, taking in their surroundings. The world shifted, growing darker. It was reflecting their mind.
Fire and flames. Dead bodies. Screaming. Chasing. They flew on six wings. Their nightmares assault them.
A wooden sword hit their head. The fairy was now in a kitchen. A tiger without a head stood on its hindlimbs, a shinai in its hand. Its stomach somehow had Taiga's face, like it had been cut open and her head stitched into the hole.
"Shirou! Cook for me!"
"Not now," they responded. They had a dream to explore. They couldn't stop for her.
"Yeah, now!" She responded, whacking the fairy over the head. It hurt. She did it again. It hurt again. And again and again. Their blue and gold hair did nothing to soften the blow. "Do as I say!"
"fine!" the fairy agreed after several painful hits. They'd get back at her. They wouldn't let her beat them down.
The fairy used one hand to grab the ingredients, another to pick up his cooking instruments, and another to turn on the stove.
"Hurry up!" Taiga said.
"I am," the fae shot back out of one mouth while using his muzzle to taste the food. It was fine. The house keys tasted good with the green eggs and toothpaste. "There."
"Food!" Taiga jumped to eat it without saying thank you. She pulled the plate to her stomach mouth and began eating both it and the food on top of it.
A knock was heard. It came from the door above them, the one built into the ceiling.
One set of inhumanly bright blue eyes looked up at it.
Another knock was heard below them. Someone was knocking on the door they were standing on.
They kept one set of eyes on the ceiling door – hopefully, they would understand that they needed to answer the door below them first. It was only polite – while another set of eyes the color of spring looked at the floor door.
Before they could open the floor door, the person on the other side opened it – causing the young fairy to fall through it. They didn't pass the person who opened the door as they fell through it and into the sky. Rude.
The bridge. Water was approaching. They were about to hit it and were years from hitting it.
No matter how much they fluttered their numerous wings, it didn't help. They still grew closer to the water.
No. No. NO.
Their wings twisted. They hurt. They were destroyed.
Panic was all they felt—trapped between the moment of impact and when they started falling. The two become one.
Sweat dripped down the infinitely vibrant blue and gold fur of human hairs covering random parts of their body. Their heart rate increases. They needed to wake up! He needed to wake up –
Shirou opened his eyes, a screaming escaping. He was sitting up in seconds, his hand gripping his chest—rapid breathing in rhythm to his chaotic heartbeat.
He was ok. His body was fine. He was still on that island. The man was sitting a few meters away from him. Eyes the color emerald stared at Shirou with fascination.
"Your slumber was but the blink of an eye," the man commented. " A half of a day has yet to pass, but you already awaken."
Shirou turned to glare at the merman. Sweat ran down his body even as his heart began to slow back to normal.
Who thinks half a day of sleep isn't that much? And was he just sitting there watching him sleep?
Wait, that isn't important right now.
The guy told him to rest, and he immediately fell asleep on the spot. Shirou probably should have felt tired, but he hadn't. Especially not enough to pass out.
How'd this guy knock him out, and why?
Asking the man would mean trouble. For now, he didn't seem hostile. So, he'd try to figure it out without giving the guy cause to attack him.
"I've slept enough," Shirou told him. He couldn't remember most of what he'd been dreaming, but it wasn't pleasant. The worst thing he could remember was his sister looking like a monster and forcing him to cook. Just thinking about it put him in a bad mood. "Who are you?"
He didn't care if it was proper to give his name first, not after getting knocked out by him.
The merman didn't take offense. No, he looked more sad and confused. "My identity is like dust to the wind. Only pieces of information remain since being forced to flee from Fuyuki. Was it something like Kyifuu? No, that is nonsense…"
Shirou didn't get what the man – he'd call him Kyifuu for now – meant. How does one forget their name? And what was his connection with Fuyuki? Was there any way he could help them?
No, the guy was not to be trusted. If he is proven to be trustworthy, Shirou can help them then.
"I'm Shirou Emiya," the fairy told the confused Kyifuu, pulling him out of his confusion.
"Shirou Emiya," Kyifuu repeated after a moment, his green and black fishtail lying limp on the ground. How'd someone with no legs get this far into the island, anyway? "That is a human name, correct? Not your true name?"
Shirou paused. A feeling of discomfort filled him, but he didn't know why. "It's my only name."
"You don't know?" Kyifuu spoke with pity.
"Know what?" Shirou repeated after a moment.
"Nothing," the man evaded, both answering the question and making eye contact. "You must be besieged by hunger. Here is a fish you may eat."
Shirou almost pressed the man on his evasion but was stopped by the growling of his stomach. He was hungry… so he nodded and would try to figure out what the guy meant later… even if some part of Shirou had a small idea.
Kyifuu seemingly pulled a fish out of nowhere and handed it to Shirou. The boy took it with a glance, wondering if he just hadn't noticed it before or if the man pulled it from somewhere. The chances he made it from nothing were probably zero. One can't just make something… though it would be cool and heroic if one learned how.
The fish Shirou was handed was unlike any he had ever seen before. It was closest to a salmon, but not quite. Its color was red, but that wasn't what stood out the most.
No, that was the warmth he could feel despite the fish being dead. It was the same warmth that was dwindling inside him. He lost some healing himself, and a lot was stripped from his body by the fence post going through his shoulder. He somehow felt warmer, but it was because there was less cold, not more warmth.
If he ate the fish, then would he gain its warmth?
All of a sudden, Shirou felt a new kind of hunger. One that wasn't physical but just as innate to his existence.
He needed to eat the fish to sate it, but it wasn't prepared for consumption. He'd have to do that himself before he could eat.
The fairy glanced around, looking for anything on this island that could be used to cook the fish.
"Is something missing?" Kyifuu asked, noticing Shirou's glances.
"Do you have anything to clean and prepare the fish?" Shirou responded to the merman.
"Why don't you eat it as is?" Kyifuu suggested a little bit more energy in his voice than before. "The entire body is editable and safe, I promise."
Shirou glanced at the man, slightly worried now that the man felt the need to say it was safe. Still, he considered it. He was starving, and there was nothing around to cook with…
The more he thought about it, the more he felt his human-born concerns fade into the background. His fairy desires directed his decision as he brought the fish to his mouth.
Teeth sunk into the fish, and liquid filled his mouth at the same time he separated flesh from the body. He started chewing slowly before accelerating.
It tasted incredible. Even without being cooked, it was like eating a 5-star meal.
Shirou began to eat the fish whole as his inhibitions disappeared. Each bite filled him with a little bit more warmth, and the cold lessened.
"It was good," the fairy told Kyifuu after he finished eating the fish in its entirety. He'd even eaten the parts one never ate because it tasted so good. The warmth flowing through him felt pleasant. "Thanks."
The guy may be untrustworthy, but he gave Shirou good food, so he can't be all bad.
The merman nodded, looking away at the same time. "Fishes from Xi Wang Chi are less degraded than those of the Walled World, and the kind you just consumed was amongst the most filling."
"Xi Wang Chi?" Shirou repeated. The name didn't sound Japanese. Was he talking about the island, the water around it, or this world?
The fairy paused at that thought, suddenly remembering he wasn't in his normal world. He was somewhere else—somewhere warm, pleasant, and just as real as where he came from—a place his new form belonged in.
Blue eyes glanced down at Kyifuu's tail. Something he hadn't even thought of until now. It felt normal, fitting within his logic.
Was that why Shirou felt something was off with the man?
"It is the land you are currently in," Kyifuu answered, his gaze turning toward the shoreline. "Those of the West have a different name for it, but it has faded from my mind. Truthfully, I know very little of existence except that of my island and Fuyuki. And I lose more of that little knowledge every day."
Shirou listened to the unhelpful description, but it was better than nothing.
"Why are you forgetting things?" Shirou asked the man. Was that the result of staying in this world?
"I don't remember," Kyifuu responded.
Shirou frowned. Forgetting the reason why you forget things is probably the worst thing you can forget.
"What do you remember?"
Kyifuu closed his eyes and began to think, getting lost in his thoughts for a moment. "Forced out of Fuyuki—by something—I found myself upon my island and unable to return. Nor could I fulfill my purpose. My name…"
Shirou wondered what forced the man to flee. There was the monster that chased him, whatever was in the water, and the thing in the cave. Along with whatever was going on with those men.
"Why can't you go back to Fuyuki?" Shirou asked him.
"Whatever drove me out is still there. I can feel it. To what ends would I return when I was forced out again? Beyond that, it is impossible," Kyifuu told Shirou. "No matter how far I swim, the shore never appears. Never being able to return must be the price of fleeing."
Shirou felt a little pity for the man. That didn't sound like a fair punishment, assuming the man was telling the truth.
Kyifuu leaned closer to Shirou, tired eyes looking directly into the boy's. "You should learn from my failure. We all have a purpose. Better to die for it than live without it."
The fairy blinked in confusion. What did running have to do with his unknown purpose? And how did running make him a failure?
Still, Shirou didn't know if he agreed with the merman. Was it not better to run and come back better prepared? Pointlessly dying wouldn't help anybody.
Well, that is assuming fleeing wouldn't cause the death of anyone else. Only if it was for the sake of a life would staying behind have meaning. Shirou would stay in that case and try to protect that person, but he wouldn't blame others for fleeing.
"At least you can still try to fulfill your dream," Shirou responded. "Only the living can do that."
"Dreams? I was speaking of purpose, but I guess those are one and the same for fairies," the man didn't seem fazed by the fairy's words in the least.
Shirou's eyes widened at the use of the word 'fairies.'
He'd defined himself as one since it felt right and fit, but now that guess was supported by someone else. It confirmed what he was.
The fairy couldn't help but feel a little bit of satisfaction at figuring it out on their own.
But what did dreams have to do with fairies?
Purpose…
"My dream…" Shirou muttered before stopping, briefly closing his eyes. He didn't want to say it in front of anybody, much less a stranger. They'd just laugh at him again. Mock it. The last few days had taught him no one would understand.
"The humans have left you scared to speak of thyself," Kyifuu mused from the young fae's expression.
"That's none of your business," Shirou said, pulling his knees to his chest and putting his arms around them. For some reason, he felt shame. Embarrassment. He didn't know why, but he did, and it was the worst.
"You are truly pitiable," Kyifuu spoke after a moment of silence. "Tell me, do you intend to try to return to Fuyuki or leave it behind?"
Shirou thought he felt his long ears twitch at the mention of home. He didn't respond immediately, which might have said more than any words.
Why didn't he say yes?
His sister was there, and… there was Raiga and the other members of the Fujimura group – well, those he knew.
The fairy looked up at the sky, the blue palm trees rustling in the wind. It was clear, vibrant, so bright it felt wrong when compared to the sky he was used to. Fuyuki's sky was never so bright, but it could be just as beautiful. Just as it was that final night with his father…
The blond man's words rang through his mind for the thousandth time, followed by everything else that had happened since that nostalgic night.
"I can see the hesitation in your eyes. Why?" Kyifuu interrupted his consideration. "You know which path you wish to take. Why hesitate?"
"Because it could hurt those I care about," Shirou answered, now looking at the glittering sand.
The fairy watched as the merman considered his words for a few moments. He hoped Kyifuu would say something stupid like they hurt him, so he should leave them. It would show how little the guy understands him and make him easy to ignore.
Actually, why was he listening to this stranger at all? This is basically the first time they've talked, but Kyifuu acts like he knows anything about him. Not only that, but he wasn't to be trusted.
"You will hurt them more if you stay with them," Kyifuu said slowly, making sure he understood what he said. His voice was a little bit lighter than it was before.
The infant fae felt their anger fade, and any objection instantly evaporated. How would he hurt them?
He didn't want that. He couldn't do that.
"Will you give up on your dream?" Kyifuu asked him.
"No," Shirou answered immediately. There was no debate or hesitation within his soul.
"Then you shall continue to bring them harm. They wouldn't accept you, and you wouldn't change. Only by departing will they be free from pain," Kyifuu explained, his hand moving some of his swaying hair to behind his ear, preventing anything from covering his tired eyes.
The infant fairy's expression was utterly devoid of emotions. In his fae mind was a storm, comprehending the words spoken by the man but trying to reject the conclusion.
He didn't want to – couldn't – harm anybody, much less those closest to him. If his presence causes them pain, is it not his duty to alleviate that in whatever way he can, even if it hurts him.
But wouldn't leaving them hurt them as well?
No.
The forest fire, the iron fence with his blood on it, the bridge, and his jacket left at the park were more than enough to cover for him. To get them to think he was dead. Given the fact that he'd gone to sleep and guess what time it was when he got here, they probably already know he is gone and are looking for him.
All they have to do is find the evidence and assume he's dead. They probably already did and think he's deceased.
The fairy's pointed ears drooped slightly. In that case, they already hurt, and he'd failed them. Not going back would only mean they think he is dead rather than cause them pain.
But… Taiga…
She was the worst. Taiga the tiger. Always being so loud. And annoying. And eating all the food. Then, daring to act like she never did it even though he could see the crumbs around her mouth. And doing it with a smile he could never beat. That seemed to make him feel better.
It was never fair. Never ever.
Would it make her happier if she never saw him again? Especially after he hurt her?
Probably… but he knows for sure it would save her from pain in the future.
This was going to happen eventually. Why does it matter if it happens now? It's just freeing them both of something troublesome.
Why didn't leaving to prevent himself from causing her any more pain make him happy? He was making sure his sister wouldn't be in pain. Shouldn't that make him happy, not empty.
Would his sister be empty? Would she be crying?
Shirou quivered before willing himself to stand up. "I need to go home."
No matter how much logical sense it made to him, some part of him wouldn't leave behind his sister like that. He'd find a way to deal with the monster later.
"But you can not," Kyifuu spoke, looking unconcerned with Shirou's decision to leave.
"Why not?" Shirou demanded, his hands clenching into fists. He couldn't, nor wanted to, hurt the man, but he needed to leave.
"No matter how far you fly, you will never reach the shore," Kyifuu informed him with a sigh.
"Watch me," Shirou's wings clapped, and he took flight, moving in the direction he was pretty sure the shore would have been. He reached this water area by flying past a point. Perhaps doing the opposite would change things.
He flew and flew and flew. The wind from the ocean hit him and aided in his flight, but it still wasn't enough.
He started to feel his wings tire, but there was no change. There was just endless water for as far as the eye could see.
The human boy paused in the air, the sound of the water audible from his height as it rushed upward, reaching almost to his altitude.
He had already flown further away than before, but he still wasn't back to the forest.
Shirou glared at the water.
What should he do?
He might be too tired to get back to the island if he goes further. If he wanted to get back to the island, he would have to turn back now.
If he did… he wouldn't return to his sister. The human boy knew that.
The infant fairy had already accepted the logic of the merman's argument... he was only resisting it for some reason he didn't understand. He may have been able to once, but not here and now. The two halves of his mind were in agreement.
Why? Why had he been resisting something he understood and accepted?
His thoughts were interrupted by the burning of his neck.
The sun was shining down on him, warm enough to burn away any cold. It was so large and close. Nothing would block his path from reaching it.
Shirou felt a warm, almost maternal connection with this world swell as he reached toward the sun with his hand. He still couldn't hold it in his hands, but there were no clouds in the way.
The fairy's blue eyes blinked.
His sister would be happier without him, able to smile… He would always want that for her, even if she betrayed his trust and thought what defined him was stupid. He loved her.
Because of that, he'd let the pain he'd inflicted on her end here.
Thus, he turned and flew back toward the island. He had a forlorn expression on his face despite feeling so warm.
They found themselves in their courtyard. The night sky shined brightly.
Kiritsugu was seated next to them. He seemed so much bigger than them. Even looking up, it was hard for them to see their father's face. The signs of sickness were present, but he still seemed so strong. They looked away, glancing toward the stars.
"Old man, could I be like you? Going off and helping people," They asked with a voice that changed each syllable. The pitch flowed from higher to lower and back again.
There was no response.
Of course. He was dead.
They glanced back to where Kiritsugu once sat. An urn in his place. It held such a large man yet was so small.
The stars in the sky disappeared, the scene falling to pieces like crashed glass.
They were in their bedroom, tucked into bed. Their mother was beside them. Her face was hidden by long red hair. A voice that should've faded from memory was singing a lullaby. Her six-fingered hand gently stoked his long ears.
"Can I go with you on your next work trip?" They asked her.
"No, sweetie," she said with no hate in her voice, only kindness and love. "You've already left me behind, remember?"
That was right.
Their four shining blue eyes blinked, no tears flowing despite a reservoir of sorrow to pull from.
They'd left them behind.
Fire. Fire. Fire.
It rose and consumed the room. Their mother simply patted his cheek as it consumed them both, her skin melting off the bone even as the flames did nothing to him. Her scent became that of burning flesh.
They survived the flames.
They couldn't move their body.
What was a body again?
They looked around. A castle had replaced their bedroom, and they sat on the throne–
No. NO. NO. They never did. They were next to it.
The one on the throne was a girl with blonde hair. She was so funny, hiding herself from them. People came and went through the throne room, but she was alone except for them.
They wanted to soothe her pain. The cold around her didn't have to be.
There was a commotion. Humans were being humans. They didn't care.
The girl went to deal with it. Did she forget about them?
A woman with silver hair and three faces appeared and grabbed them. She carried them away.
The girl would fall without them. This wasn't right.
They could do nothing as they left the castle.
They never saw the girl again.
Shirou slowly awoke, reality returning to him. Fragments of a longing-filled dream fade off of him.
He had fallen asleep a while after returning to the island to find Kyifuu sleeping again, which irritated him. He'd only talked to the man twice, but it only took those two times for him to convince Shirou of something life-shaping.
Plus, there was the question of if and how he put Shirou to sleep when he first got to the island.
Shirou would have forced him up if it hadn't been for feeling that it would be rude.
Blue eyes glanced over at the slumbering Kyifuu as he sat up. But that patience was running thin. If he didn't wake up soon, Shirou would force him to.
The fairy stood up and walked to the island shore, moving at a subdued pace to give himself more time to think.
His mind kept being pulled to his old man. Maybe it had something to do with whatever he dreamt the previous night. Kiritsugu was there?
Shirou hoped his grave was ok. It was somewhere in the forest around the temple – he hadn't been able to work up the will to go and probably never would.
Still, the idea of his grave being burned by flames bothered him. At least, Kiritsugu was buried far enough underground that the fire shouldn't reach his…
Shirou ended that thought, refusing to finish it.
The fairy reached the edge of the island, stopping before the water. He looked down at his dirty clothing. His shirt had a hole in it from the iron fence, and he was missing one of his shoes. The bottom leg of one of his pants was partially scorched.
He needs to change…
No, he needs to get more clothing. He doesn't have any more now. This is his only set.
Shirou reached down and took off his remaining shoe and sock, leaving him barefooted. The sand felt good against them. Soft like Kiritsugu's bed.
He took flight and flew a little bit into the now familiar ocean, not far enough to reach the ramparts but enough to scope some water from it. His hands were steady as he brought a handful of water into his mouth. The liquid was the perfect drinking temperature and an almost rich taste. Pure, unlike the polluted river water.
Shirou could feel a warmth from the water enter him like it did when he ate the fish.
It was no different than gaining nutrients from eating food in the human world.
Shirou took a few more sips of water until he was satisfied. He didn't get the warmth from eating food in the normal world. Did that mean the only way to get more was to eat or drink from this place – the world?
What would happen if he ran out?
The fairy looked into the ocean, wishing he had a guide on being a fairy.
"You came back," Kyifuu's voice suddenly said from behind Shirou.
The boy was startled slightly in surprise, but he quickly turned to see the merman somehow on the shore of the island.
How did he get there so quickly and silently without Shirou noticing?! The man didn't even have legs or wings.
"I didn't have anywhere else to go," Shirou muttered as he hesitantly flew over to the man. He sat down on dry land, not wanting to get his clothing wet.
Shirou kept himself at a reasonable distance from the man, as much as he could, without being suspicious. The guy may look harmless, but his words were dangerous. And he could knock Shirou out if he wasn't careful.
"You're growing used to this world," Kyifuu spoke softly, looking slightly pleased for some reason.
"How'd you get here?" Shirou asked, crossing his arms. He did his best to ignore the man's statement.
"Here?" the man asked before tilting his head slightly. "The island, this spot, or –"
"Never mind," Shirou interrupted Kyifuu, not wanting to deal with what he sensed would happen if he let that conversation continue. The boy closed his eyes and sighed. He was directionless and unsure of what to do or ask. He had only decided he wasn't going back, not where he would go.
"You remain so pitifully lost," Kyifuu commented. "Only by embracing the restlessness inside thy soul shall you be found."
Shirou listened, trying to ignore the part of himself that once again agreed with Kyifuu. He was restless, and he did want to go somewhere else. Somewhere, he could find solid ground and then become a hero. If he wandered around long enough, he was sure to get where he needed to be to be a hero.
"There is one way you can leave this island, though the journey may prove deadly," Kyifuu continued with a small smile. "Then you might fulfill your dream by traveling for the rest of your days."
He knew a way out? A way he could have told him yesterday?! Didn't he say that he'd know how to leave?
No, he said that he didn't know how to return to Fuyuki and not leave the island.
Shirou still felt anger at the man, even remembering that. He'd already made his decision and would stick with it, but knowing how to leave beforehand might have impacted his choice.
In spite of that, Shirou felt more of himself being pulled into Kyifuu's words. The idea of traveling around helping people until he died sounded almost entrancing. Still, Shirou didn't give in and ask about the path the man clearly wanted him to take.
"Ah, but no one will shame you for staying here. The path exceeds your immature capabilities. Fright is something that can't be held against a child," Kyifuu told him.
He wasn't just a child. He was super manly and could handle anything as long as he put his mind to it. "I'm not scared. I'm good enough to do it; just point the way."
The sensible part of Shirou's mind immediately knew it had lost and resigned itself to what was to come.
Kyifuu's irritating smile grew. "It is beneath the depths. If you can descend far enough, you'll be somewhere other than here."
Shirou turned back toward the ocean with its insane and deadly currents. Was only the top of the ocean like that? Or was it like that even beneath the surface? If it was, swimming would be nearly impossible as the currents force you in random directions, and going up for air wouldn't be possible. He'd drowned.
Was the guy trying to get him killed?
"I know of a method by which you may succeed," Kyifuu said, seemingly understanding Shirou's thoughts once again. "But I will want something in turn."
"What?" Shirou asked, only a little bit surprised. It makes sense that someone would want something in return for help, even if he wouldn't. The worrying thing is that Kyifuu never asked for anything before this and is doing so now before Shirou can leave. Was this something the man wanted the entire time, but he only waited until he knew Shirou would agree?
"What I desire are scales from your wings," Kyifuu answered, eyeing Shirou's wings with a sudden intensity that left the boy uncomfortable.
The fairy stepped back and clapped his wings behind his back, ready to fly at a moment's notice. "Why?"
Kyifuu's tired and sullen eyes turned their gaze to Shirou's. His smile disappeared, and his head turned to the side a few centimeters. "Their ethereal beauty transcends words."
Kyifuu wanted them because they were beautiful?
That was it… removing some of the scales might be painful, but they would grow back. He didn't have anything to lose.
Yet, giving up parts of his wings to this person left him irked. The merman was insulting him with this. The fairy felt that and intrinsically understood.
"How many?" Shirou managed to ask after getting his slighted emotions under control.
"A few of each color and perhaps a pattern or two," Kyifuu said with a soft voice, the smile returning to his face. "A few hours it shall take, no more or less. You can recuperate afterward and depart in the morning."
Shirou once again felt almost like he was being mocked and worse, but he shoved it to the back of his mind. "Fine."
The fairy walked over to the man and sat next to him. He refused to let the man mess with his wings without being able to see him.
He moved one of his wings so that Kyifuu could do what he needed to.
Shirou flinched as the merman got to work without saying a word. His hands felt rough as they gripped the edge of his sensitive wing.
It hurt when the man tried to remove a scale of his wing. It didn't work, but that didn't stop him.
Kyifuu changed his tactics, trying to peel the scale off Shirou's wing.
The fairy clenched his hands in the sand as torment filled him. One of his scales slowly came off his wing, while a new one was growing to replace it. The new scale was pushing into the still connect scale, only adding to the pain.
It was like someone was skinning him – or like stepping on a Lego block.
By the time the first one was removed, Shirou felt sweat starting to run down his body. His nails dug into his hands.
He just needed to make it through this, and he could be gone from this island.
Shirou ignored the delighted smile on Kyifuu's face.
The fairy stood alone in a city. They looked around at the tall buildings, reaching to the sky.
Their wings were stripped. Every scale was missing, but no blood was shed. Pain, pain, and pain, but no damage.
They felt shame and embarrassment.
They had sold part of their body for a chance to get away. He could have just helped them, but he had to take from them. He wanted their wings when they were theirs, not his.
They didn't feel anything but sadness. There was no anger or the like. They were fated to be used. Who could rage at fate? It was inevitable.
The world twisted around them. The buildings turned inside out, twisting into shapes that were more fitting than the ones humans used.
A fishtail hit them in the face. It belonged to the only merman they knew. He was swimming in the air wearing a shirt made of their scales. The flow of the buildings was like the currents of the ocean.
They simply sighed.
They felt the world change again, and their form shifted to another.
They were inside a false reflection of a forest, mist all around them. The green trees moved, branches and leaves seeming to dance to the tune of the wind.
If only others were here to see it with them.
They wished humans could be here with them, but they were too sinful. Too driven by their intrinsic evil to act on their inherent good.
Perhaps – in an age – the humans could overcome themselves, but it would be a long journey to that new era.
They could be happy then.
Shirou stood across from Kyifuu, but his focus was on his wings.
The entire process had been painful and humiliating, but at least they were already back to normal. It would be a long time before he would let anyone else mess with his wings, if ever.
The sun had already risen by the time he woke up. He was surprised to see that the man was up already and had something wrapped in what looked like a cloth made of sand – along with another fish that Shirou reluctantly accepted.
After the previous day, he wanted to get off the island and away from Kyifuu as fast as possible, but he couldn't do that hungry. Besides, he ate some the day after flying around to make sure Kyifuu wasn't lying – though only once his wings had healed.
If it was possible to fly out of here, the distance was too long for Shirou. He'd have to do it Kyifuu's way.
At least, it was time to get his payment for the scales of his wings and leave.
"Is that how I'm going to survive underwater," Shirou asked the man, pointing at the long but thin object in his hands.
"Correct," the man said, handing the object over to Shirou. "It was in the ocean, forgotten until I found it about half a decade ago."
It was surprisingly light. The cloth that held it really felt like sand. The boy unwound the cloth to find –
"A snorkel?" Shirou glanced from the white with a splash of red snorkel in his hand to the merman seated on the ground.
This better not have been a joke after the pain he went through yesterday letting the man pull apart his wings. Was he supposed to snorkel underwater – and in possibly deadly currents.
"Look closer," Kyifuu told him. "Magic flows through it, allowing one to breathe underwater."
The fairy glared down at the snorkel. Looking closer, it wasn't normal. When Shirou truly focused on 'seeing' it, he could see the strains of flowing golden power that wove together to make the object in his hand.
He glanced at his tattered dark shirt and found it was completely normal. His body wasn't.
It was made of the same golden power, but rather than being woven together, it was naturally one.
Why didn't he notice this before? If his human clothing was still around and normal, where was his human body? What did any of this mean?
And why wasn't Kyifuu made up of golden power like everything else besides his human clothing? What was he?
Shirou did his best to stifle his questions and confusion in front of Kyifuu. He would think about it later when he wasn't in front of someone untrustworthy.
"I see," Shirou muttered. "I wouldn't drown if water goes through the top?"
Kyifuu nodded in response.
"And this is the only way out of this island… space?"
"To my knowledge," the man answered with a tired voice.
Shirou looked back at the snorkel and sighed. He was restless about leaving the island; if this was the only way, he would do it.
The fairy turned to leave, not saying another word to the merman and doing his best to ignore the small smile that grew upon the man's face.
Shirou was glad the man didn't say any goodbyes either.
He brought the snorkel to his mouth to see how it felt as he walked to the edge of the island.
His eyes widened in surprise as he felt the magic once he put his mouth against the mouthpiece and tried to breathe from it. Each breath filled his lungs as if he were breathing deeply.
Once Shirou reached the ocean, he entered the water far enough to put his head underwater and dip the top of the water. He kept his breathing steady as he did so.
"It works," Shirou said after removing his head from the water. His bright red hair was wet, dripping water.
He felt a bit of assurance. He didn't want to almost drown again.
He wasn't scared of drowning. Not one bit.
Shirou flew into the air. It was slightly harder due to his wet clothing, but not by much.
He made sure to keep the snorkel in his mouth as he looked for a spot to go underwater.
It needed to be a spot away from the island with some depths. In other words, somewhere in the chaotic, current-filled parts of the ocean.
The currents flowed up and left and right and down. The last one was the one he would want. It might be like riding a waterslide, and he would end up sliding right out of this place. Not that he expected things to work that well.
Shirou ended up pausing above a current that flowed down. It was several times larger than him and could hopefully get him a ways down.
His wings flapped as he stayed paused above it.
He just needed to keep the snorkel in his mouth, and he could breathe. There was no need to worry about drowning.
Shirou repeated that a few times in his head, gathering his courage. He wouldn't drown this time. Just stop flying and let the water do the rest. Logically, as long as he held on long enough, he'd eventually go low enough to leave this place.
All he needed to do was stop flapping his wings. He could do it.
The fairy kept their eyes open. His wings paused. He stopped flying.
They fell into the water, feeling it dragging him down. His hands gripped the snorkel to make sure it didn't fall out. Wings pulled as close to his body as he could.
He barely kept his eyes open as he was pulled further underwater. The harsh water was pushing at his body. The light grew further away as he kept going down.
He felt himself being pushed to the side. Another current cutting threw the one going down. It hurt like getting punched in the side.
He wasn't going down anymore. The water's currents only seemed to grow stronger beneath the surface. There was no way to resist or change his direction.
His hands gripped the snorkel harder. He wouldn't let the waters steal it from him.
Another direction change.
He couldn't tell where he was now. Which way was up, and what way was down?
Another direction change.
The water grew cold.
Another direction change.
The currents dragged against his wings, bitterly trying to tear them apart. It took everything Shirou had not gasped in pain. He couldn't risk water getting into his mouth.
Another direction change.
He couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. Even if he could, it was too dark to see anything.
Another direction change.
His body felt tired and beaten. His muscles barely managed to maintain themselves.
Suddenly –
He felt his body be jerked in one final direction.
The currents stopped.
His body stopped when it slammed into something. Hard.
He bit down on the snorkel, keeping himself from yelling in pain.
After a few moments, he opened his eyes.
There was nothing to see. It was still too dark. The cold water was all-encompassing, like a coffin.
Shirou did his best to manage his breathing as he started to feel panic forming.
His body hurt, but that only proved he was still in one piece.
He wiggled his toes. They were above his head. He must be upside down.
Shirou slowly turned himself right side up. His right hand grabbed the jagged edges of whatever he had hit to help him – it felt kind of like a rock.
Moving his wings in the water was hard, but they were still there. Hurting even more than the rest of his body.
He could still feel a little bit of the currents hitting his face. That must have been the path that he had been thrown through.
The fairy paused. He tried to consider how to figure out his location and surroundings without somehow stumbling back into the currents.
He schooled his thoughts and emotions. Focusing only on logic. Becoming paralyzed with fear would help nobody.
What did he have, and how could he use it to solve his problem?
It took him a few minutes to come up with an idea.
He used his eyes and focused like he did earlier to see the power that made up everything. Even in the darkness, he could see how it flowed. Thick and thinner in places. Around him, it was thick.
What he hit was thick and felt like a rock. It surrounded him except for the path he had been thrown through and to his left.
Those had a mistiness to it.
Was he in an underwater cave?
It would make sense.
Even without knowing anything about underwater cave exploration, he was willing to bet it was safer than trying to get back into the currents and hoping for the best.
Shirou kept his hand on the wall as a guide moved through the water to move through the mist on his left. Thankfully, it was water.
He swam through the path.
The feeling of being both unable to see and able to was eerie. A feeling that wasn't helped by the total silence. The only sense Shirou could entirely rely on was touch. At least it helped him feel the surroundings while constantly reminding him of how cold it was.
And if he opened his mouth or let water in once, he would be screwed and drowned.
Shirou did his best to ignore his growing fear of water and drowning.
He came to a stop in front of two different paths. A small one going down and another going right.
Shirou needed to go lower, but he felt the path down wasn't the right one. The right one was the right one. Meanwhile, something about the path down left him wary.
The fairy wondered right, staying slightly up in the water so that his feet didn't touch the jagged ground. It might not cut him, but that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.
He kept swimming until his hand on the wall felt something different. Something soft like grass.
Shirou paused and turned to look at the wall. He couldn't make out what was there.
The fairy pulled his hand back after a sudden pang of pain. It felt like something had bitten him!
What the hell?!
He pulled away from the walls, floating in the middle of the corridor. Unable to see anything, he had no idea what hit bit him or how much there was. It felt like a plant. If it is one, it could be growing on all the walls.
Great.
The fairy swam down the path, being careful to make sure he didn't hit anything. He had no idea if there were any of what tried to bite him on the walls, but he didn't want to find out.
He swam for what felt like an hour; no other paths appeared, but the tunnel kept getting smaller and smaller.
Shirou paused once it became hard to move. The tunnel grew so small that he wouldn't be able to move through it if he was an adult or teenager.
He felt like this was the right way, his instincts telling him to continue, but his reason told him to turn back. Flee.
He didn't want to get trapped down here. If he got stuck, he would drown. The idea was terrifying. With the snorkel, he wouldn't drown until he slept or passed out. But he would wake in time to be cognizant of his lungs filling with water. He was unable to see, hear, or smell anything as he died.
What else could he do if he didn't take this path? He wasn't going back in the currents, and the path down he'd crossed earlier was now a ways back and probably not much bigger based on Shirou's blind estimates.
Shirou thought about it before deciding to hesitantly go with his gut. Hoping it would be enough to get him far away from here.
Hesitantly, he swam forward.
The path narrowed more and more. His wings eventually were forced into contact with the soft wall. Whatever was covering them continued to bite at them. Trying to eat him alive.
And Shirou couldn't see them or do anything about it.
He continued, only faster, in hopes of escaping the ever-shrinking tunnel.
The front of his body ended up pushed against the plant-covered floor of the tunnel. His stomach, his legs, his neck, and everything else was bitten at.
It was terrifying. Enough to make him want to go crazy. To lash out at what was trying to eat him.
He had to endure it, or he would be dead. He had to stay low to the ground to have enough room for the snorkel, so he had to stay pressed against it.
His eyes widened as he saw up ahead, the mist of energy flowing upward. The water was going up! And it was thicker than it would be if it was just water from this tunnel.
It was the end of this tunnel. Shirou didn't care about going down anymore. He just needed to get out of this tunnel.
He rushed, trying to move faster.
It took too long, far too long, to almost reach the end of the tunnel. Shirou only had to go a few more meters, and he would be free –
Shirou's mind froze just before he reached the exit. His body kept moving, one of his hands passing out of the tunnel and into the open space, grabbing the bottom edge of the intersection between them to propel him forward. But his mind stopped.
The reason was the snorkel. In his rush, he forgot about it.
He forgot to give it enough room and didn't notice the end of the tunnel was slightly too small for it to pass through straight up.
He didn't realize until it was too late what that would mean as he felt it yank out his tired mouth.
Water rushed into his opened mouth.
He was going to drown. He was going to drown. He was going to drown!
Panic filled him as he tried to close it. His other hand grabbed the snorkel as his entire body left the tunnel.
Water was in his lungs. He felt like coughing, struggling. His body tried to force it up and out his mouth and nose.
He looked up; a hint of light could be seen above. Safety?
The fairy needed to get there. He tried to swim up, but he didn't have enough air. No matter how fast he tried to move up.
Up. Up. Up. Up.
UP. UP. UP. UP. UP. Up.
UP. UP. UP. UP. UP. UP. UP.
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It was too far. Shirou couldn't make it. He needed air.
Without thinking, he opened his mouth – he just needed to put the snorkel back in his mouth, right?!
Shirou felt more water rush in before he could do anything.
He stopped swimming upwards.
Panic. Panic. Panic,
He began thrashing for air.
The world was growing hazy.
He didn't have enough presence of mind to keep his mouth closed. His body tried to force it out as more came in.
What could he do?! What?!
The fairy didn't know what he could do. He couldn't think.
He could only act on pure instinct, reaching inward and desperately grabbing the warmth. He tugged on it like a lifeline.
Recklessly, he pulled tightly. Focusing everything on somehow using it to survive.
Unleashing it in the only form he knew, engraved with what he instinctively wished for at that moment –
'safety.'
The fairy began to lose consciousness as they felt warm. The water disappeared. It no longer surrounded him. His snorkel was in his hand as something else surrounded him. It was too dark to see, but the last remnants of Shirou's mind could see his power growing out above him and feel it below him.
It was growing into something safe. Something that belonged to him, consuming the other power to expand.
Shirou coughed, water escaping his lungs into the open air around him.
The fairy's blue eyes closed as they lost consciousness, soothed into a sound sleep by the feeling of gentle foliage supporting his body.
The air smelt homely, like apples.
AN:
Hello, and thanks for reading! Hope everyone who's reading this is having a wonderful day/night/other!
There's a lot to talk about, so let's get into it.
Xi Wang Chi is the name of the Dreaming in the East. Unlike the Dreaming in the West, however, there doesn't really seem to be Fae around. The Hsien don't have anything to do with the fae or the Dreaming despite being their counterparts – it's even outright said that the Hsien has no special connection to the Dreaming, and it doesn't care about them. (Note: the Dreaming is a 'living being' that protects its 'minions,' so it not caring about them could be a major thing if the Hsien somehow gets there without a Jade key.) In fact, Land of Eight Million Dreams says that the Hsien is from the Yang realms, which the Dreaming is not a part of – also, they're spirits, not Fae. On top of that, Lo8MD also says that Xi Wang Chi is filled with spirits from other realms that use it for protection + some chimera, so like… it doesn't seem like there is meant to be real fae there for some reason. And the Fae are different from spirits.
Also, Xi Wang Chi is the term used by the Nagha to describe where the dragon spirit gods they worship reside, and I think it is supposed to be the Dreaming. This was revealed several years after Lo8MD. They could be different as there are two different Arcadia – one from Werewolf with spirits that act like Fae and the one with actual Fae in the Dreaming – but like… the eastern part of the Dreaming is meant to be filled with spirits, and reusing using the term Xi Wang Chi isn't something that could've been done by accident. It was a conscious choice as, based on my Googling, the only place it appears is in the World of Darkness. So, they didn't just pull it out a book – I think.
Lo8MD, after saying 'Xi Wang Chi,' says 'Or the Western Paradise,' which is a whole other can of worms. The Western Paradise obviously leads into Pure Land Buddism and a lot of stuff I know nothing about, but I couldn't find any link to it and the term, 'Xi Wang Chi' – but I don't know anything about this stuff. At the same time, that really emphasizes how little the Hsien have to do with the dreaming, though, given the Hsien are also known as the Xian from Taoism, which is – you know – a completely different thing from Pure Lands Buddism.
A short thing after that – the snorkel Shirou used is one of those rare treasures that have no physical mundane equivalents. It was accidentally given shape and created by Irisvel when she first saw the ocean and was walking in it during that scene from Fate/Zero – with her wonder at the sea/powers/ a dream of spending time with Kiritsugu and exploring the ocean with him giving it form. It was then washed away into the ocean and found by Kyifuu.
On that guy:
In the WoD, cities have what are called City Fathers and City Mothers, who are the spirits of the city whose actions and personalities are reflective of the cities they embody (meaning its resources, personality, ethics, history, etc). Since spirits can end up hiding out in the Dreaming when you're in the East, it's possible for a City Father/Mother to do that. Also, they have to stay with 'the city' physically and spiritually, but the end of the city can be slightly blurry. Would the coast off Fuyuki still count? And if they did that, though, they'd probably end up with a dangerously tenuous relationship with their city and start losing memories and power. And a City Father/Mother of a city like Fuyuki would probably be quite twisted – even by the standards of spirits that don't have the same logic as everyone else.
Another random thing: The last owner of Excalibur's scabbard in WoD drowned with it – they are never identified, nor is it explained what happened to it or how the person got it – so for this fic, they drowned while delivering it to the Einzbern. Since Shirou is now one with Avalon, he may not remember that, but it is at the back of his mind, along with being thrown off a bridge and now this chapter.
This is a transition to talking about writing Shirou this chapter, which was kind of hard – but I decided for it to be one more messed up chapter before he gets a break in the Dreaming.
The thing I wanted to show Fae logic through the legacies and how changelings can try to resist them, but if someone can argue through the legacies, they can convince one to do a lot with very little effort. At the same time, fairies are flighty and can be forgetful – see Shirou getting caught up in his Seelie/Unseelie (Saint/Fatalist) legacies and the stuff with Kyifuu to the point he forgets about the monster chasing him. That wouldn't at all come back to bite him in the butt at the worst possible moment in a year or two. And then again and again since Shirou has the 'Nemesis' flaw.
If anyone wants to know about dreaming in the Dreaming, ask, and I can give a breakdown, but it took a while to try and break it down. Especially since I had to consult the WtO: Sandman book because it talks a bit about how special changelings' dreams are and the sand they produce and blah blah blah. Everyone stopped reading five paragraphs ago, but not you. Thanks for that.
As for Shirou's fae half, I wanted to sow its first seeds in this chapter and build on them later. It'll be fun, though, seeing… … … No spoilers in the AN because people can get mad, and it would be best not to limit myself.
Also – just to end things off – can I recommend y'all watch the Taiga scenes in F/HA? They're really touching and caring. Unlike in this fic, where everything falls apart, you get a real sense of their relationship. Especially the scene where F/HA Taiga approves of Shirou 'studying abroad', only asking him to come back and visit. The Taiga in this fic is too young, grieving, and in a much darker world to understand yet what her older self says during that scene. It's great! (Education Guiadance, School, 8)
Thanks for reading again! If there are any character inconsistencies or errors, feel free to point them out! This fic continues to go off the planned rails with each chapter - so i plan to go back and tighen up the past chapters, so anything pointed out will be helpful! Criticism is welcome!
Have a great day!