Lists
Hinata Uchiha never really minded that little quirk of her husband's; that knack of his that seemed to take a role in most parts of his life, in one way or another. Actually, she found it quite charming. It had shown its head during their short but pleasant dating life, but now, with them married and living in the same home, that little oddity of Sasuke's became present in almost everything.
Sasuke Uchiha was a list kind of guy.
He enjoyed making them; even more so, he enjoyed the satisfaction of crossing something off. For mundane things, for important things, for things one wouldn't even imagine would be needing a list; Sasuke had one for almost everything.
And, really, Hinata didn't mind.
If she were to say, "I need to run to the market to get eggs," like clockwork, there would be a thin piece of paper waiting for her on the kitchen counter not ten minutes later. It was just one item. There was no reason to make a list for one item. But without fail, he would write one for her — "Just in case," he would always say, if she asked.
And because of this little knack of his, Hinata really began to notice that she started to make little lists of her own.
For today, her list was full of chores to do around the house. She wasn't scheduled for any missions or ninja work for the following week, so she thought it would be best to keep busy with housework. She had already been able to cross off Laundry, Dishes, and Sweeping from her checklist, and now she was busying herself with dusting up the places in the house that could use a bit of that much-needed spring cleaning.
Sasuke's study was an open room without much furniture or decoration. He had a few shelves on the back, a desk that overlooked the window view of the outside garden, and a chest on the opposite wall that held an assortment of things: paperwork on the house, a few tokens of his years as genin, the ceremonial yukata he wore on their wedding.
Hinata was not the type to snoop, and Sasuke was not the type to hide things from her. He's shown her most of what he had in that chest, so she didn't feel like she was invading his privacy as she opened it up and began to pull items out so that she could begin giving the inside a good dusting.
As she expected, there were folders of documents, toys that many children had to practice making hand signs, and a plastic bag that held the folded, wrinkless black yukata she could still see him wear (which was a good sign, as the wedding only happened two weeks ago). Near the bottom, Hinata found a few things she did not recognize, but she didn't pay them much heed. Not until her eyes skimmed across a rather noteworthy piece of paper that had her name in bold ink on it in a handwriting that was most definitely her husband's.
Hinata Hyuuga
He must have written this before we got married, she mused with a smile. And even though, yes, she was not the type to snoop, she was also the type to give into her curiosity. Duster at her side, Hinata sat down on the floorboards, legs crossed, and began to read.
*** Pros and Cons of Marrying Hinata Hyuuga ***
Hinata Uchiha had never really been bothered by her husband's knack to make lists of all sorts for all kinds of things.
It was charming. In a way, it showed that he cared.
But . . .
But now, as she skimmed down the list, becoming more and more baffled as she kept reading, Hinata began to realize that with every positive came an equal and upstanding negative.
The titled list Pros and Cons of Marrying Hinata Hyuuga had absolutely no pros.
Not one.
Not even a word.
And the cons?
Well.
*** Con #1: She's more often a pushover than not ***
When Sasuke returned home later that evening, just in time for dinner, she had the list in hand. The chest was all back in order, cleaned and organized as it had been before she dug around. The only thing missing from it was the very paper in her grasp, wrinkling a bit as her fingers tightened around it.
He did not notice. He kicked off his sandals, stepped onto the sparkling, wooden floor she had so diligently moped, and made his way into the kitchen.
"I'm home."
Her mouth had been open, the words right there on her tongue, teetering. What do you have to say about this list? But his calm, unaffected statement of his arrival caught her off guard. Her question fell back, diving deep into her throat, and all she could do was sputter out, "W-Welcome back."
His gaze slid to her as he turned on the sink, dunking his hand under the warm water. She had spotted the dirt stuck under his nails and quickly joined him, placing the list on the table for a short while so she could help him properly wash his hand. It was not so much that her husband was incapable of washing up with just one hand, but rather that she simply liked to help him, to be with him when she could.
Squirting some of the soap into her palms, she took his hand and slathered it up, working between his fingers to get all the grime and filth. "What did Naruto put you through, today? My goodness."
He didn't answer. She got the soap under his nails, then pulled both of their hands under the water. When she was finished, she turned off the water and handed him a cloth before drying her own hands on her apron.
When that was all done, she looked up at him, smiling. "You can change first, if you'd like."
He stared a moment longer, then asked, "What is it?"
"Huh?"
"What's wrong?"
Her eyes fell onto the table, where the list lay. How did he figure it out so quickly? I didn't even say anything. "Well, actually, there's something I want to ask you."
He leaned the left side of his hip against the counter. "Go ahead."
She went through the motions. The words crawled out from her throat to perch themselves on her tongue, ready to meet the air. She was about to ask him, again, when she took a closer gander at his face.
Tired.
Exhausted, really.
Sasuke liked to think he could keep his face so absolutely void of emotion, but no one could hide a thing like pure lack of energy. Her hands curled on her lap. That list flittered a bit as something moved through the air. A breeze, perhaps.
If she had to make a list of things that Sasuke was stubborn about, the top three answers would be:
1. The quality of the missions he was put on.
2. The integrity of the Uchiha name; and
3. Her.
It did not matter what problem she found herself in. It did not matter how big or small the issue could be, if she shared it with him, he would not only listen, but he would put his all into finding a solution — an immediate solution. She learned this somewhere in the first three months of their dating; she had simply been without a good sharpener for her kunai, it was late, and she had a mission early the next morning. When Sasuke had heard of her predicament, he had immediately come to bring her one of his own.
At night.
In the middle of a blizzard.
And, perhaps it was silly to worry, but Hinata was scared it would happen again. She'd bring up the list, and he would insist on — on doing something. Something a man with low energy and an empty stomach should not do.
So, perhaps, now was not the right time.
Tomorrow, then, when they were both well-rested and had time.
Bringing her smile up a little more, Hinata said, "I wanted to ask if you'd have time for me tomorrow. I'd like to pick up a few seeds for the garden. I know it's not your thing, but I'd still appreciate your input."
"I'll come," he said. Without hesitation. And in his dirty and scratched-up clothes that smelled of sweat and mud, Sasuke sat at the table to patiently wait for dinner.
…
A list of things Sasuke was at that moment:
1. Tired — so very tired.
2. Muddy — she almost feared he'd stain the chair.
3. A little stressed from his day — she could tell by how his eyes narrowed when he stared off into space.
4. Uncomfortable — it looked like he was wearing a belt that needed to be readjusted.
5. Anxious — she knew he was thinking about her request; Sasuke didn't show it, but he worried about things like that, worried about picking the wrong thing and potentially ruining her plans and her projects.
All these things, and yet he had himself sat there.
As Hinata placed his plate of dinner in front of him, she made sure to rest her hand on the back of his chair so she could get a good angle to his mouth. She kissed him a bit suddenly, and his shoulders lifted in surprise, but he did not hesitate to put in the energy to kiss her back.
*** Con #6: She worries too much ***
"Ino. Has Sai ever . . . ."
Hinata paused for a moment, unsure how to word it. For a second, she wondered if she ought to be sneaky about it; but how could one be sneaky about a Pros and Cons list? So, throwing that idea into the wind, Hinata leaned in closer to her friend, and asked, softly, "Has he ever made a list? Um, about you?"
The blues of her eyes expanded like the sky. Ino rested an arm on the counter, placed her hand against her cheek, and hummed. "List? What kind do you mean?"
Hinata almost had the mind to pull out the very thing from her back pocket and present it, but almost immediately after the thought, she flung it away. Definitely not. She'd make a scene about it, and Sasuke was just by the door of the flower shop, pretending to find interest in bluebells.
"Um." Feeling childish, Hinata bowed her face a tad as warmth touched her cheeks. "Just . . . lists of things he likes about you — or, um . . ."
"Well," Ino mused, "that sounds romantic. You know, he's always asking me things like how he can bring more to our married life. I keep telling him — wouldn't you believe me, I think I even told him this morning — that I like things as they are, that I'm happy with how he is now. But, well, I wouldn't mind a list of all of my good qualities, either." She snickered to herself, then turned back to the collection of seed packages that she was ringing up for Hinata. "Why do you ask?"
"N-No reason." Cringing at her stutter, Hinata glanced back to make sure Sasuke hadn't heard. He was still at the front, back facing her, fingers brushing the underside of the leaves of one of the nearby plants, searching for some sort of meaning there. Relaxing, Hinata looked back at Ino. "But what if . . . they weren't good things?"
That made her friend stop. "What?"
"What if he made a list of all your bad qualities?"
"Then I'd kick his ass." She said it in a joking manner, like she couldn't possibly imagine Sai ever doing such a thing. "What kind of husband would do that?"
Ah.
Right.
"There. They're all scanned in — ah, it looks like you can get two more packs of any flower seeds for free." Ino nodded her head to the wall where all the little, quaint packets were stored in small cubbies. "Go ahead and get yourself something."
Hinata glanced over, going over the list of everything she already had. Should she buy more of something, or get two packs of something completely new?
"Sasuke." The name left her mouth before she realized it. He came over with nearly silent footsteps, joining her on her right side. "What do you think we should get?"
He looked at the wall of options like they were all foreign and strange, like the names of all the types of flowers were in some strange language he could not understand. A crinkle came from below, and when Hinata looked down, she saw he was pulling out something. A list.
His eyes dipped down to the thin letters, then back to the packs of seeds. She saw a flash of something in his gaze, and then he reached over and plucked two packets of sweet peas from a cubby.
"Here."
The end of the word notched up, almost in a question, almost like he was taking a guess to see if she approved.
Grinning, Hinata took the packs and handed them to Ino so she could put them in the bag with the rest of them. "Good idea. The weather is still cool, so they'll have plenty of time to bloom."
Sasuke folded the paper back into his pocket and hummed, satisfied.
…
She hadn't been able to say anything to him about the pros and cons list that morning. It never seemed right. When he was free, she was showering; when she was free, he was picking up some paperwork to do before they went out.
He seemed in a better mood today, at least. His chakra poured through him like a stream. Nothing about him seemed irked or irritated.
Walking back home would be as good of a time as ever, she supposed.
"Sasuke —"
"Hinata."
They looked at each other, and she smiled and waved for him to go on.
He nodded over to the convenience store down the street. "Should we get bottled water, or will tap suffice?"
Hinata hadn't a clue what he could possibly mean by that. "Pardon?"
"For the sweet pea seeds," he said. "You're supposed to soak them overnight in water, yes?"
The bag in her hand suddenly felt lighter, as if she weren't holding anything at all. "Yes. How . . . did you know that?" It wasn't something many people did. Her mother had taught her about that trick when she was young.
Sasuke's mouth twisted — twisted in a way that wasn't at all bothered or annoyed. It was the type of turn to his lips that signaled he was uncomfortable. Not at a concerning level. In fact, discomfort (when it came to her husband, as least) usually went hand-in-hand with embarrassment. Timidity.
". . . Shikamaru."
Shikamaru?
Hinata couldn't imagine why he would be discussing sweet peas with Shikamaru of all people.
"So?" Sasuke pushed, clearly wanting to turn away from this direction of conversation.
Her curiosity stood high, but Hinata went along with him. "Tap will work fine, so we don't need to stop at the store." She watched his head nod in affirmation, and he brought that list back out and crossed something off from it with a pen he always carried on his person. Glee filled her soul, and her own list disappeared from her thoughts. "It was good of you to ask. Thank you for coming with me, Sasuke."
…
A list of things Sasuke always did when they were out together:
1. He always let her hold things. He understood she liked to keep her hands occupied and was never the kind to question her strength.
2. He always encouraged her to talk. His silence was not him admitting he had nothing to say, but rather that he welcomed her small talk, her rants on this and that, her overview of her day.
3. And he always, always stood to the left of her so that she could reach his hand without difficulty and press her fingers over the hills of his knuckles.
*** Con #18: Her head is always stuck in a daydream ***
Shikamaru moved over to give her room to sit with him when she found him in a cafe in the middle of Konoha. He had expected her to come scout him out, she supposed. How fitting of him.
"So you figured it out." He bit into his straw like it was a cig. He had mentioned a few months ago that he was trying to quit smoking. From what it looked like, he must have been having a hard time. His iced tea was completely untouched, like he only ordered the drink to bite down on the straw. His eyes scanned her face when she slid next to him. "You're quick. Not to say you're an idiot or anything. Shit. I've been around Naruto for too long."
At that, Hinata smiled and placed her hands in her lap. "I'm very sorry, Shikamaru, but I'm not quite sure what you mean."
He rolled the straw into the corner of his mouth and frowned. "Didn't you get the sweet peas yesterday?" And then, in a quieter, grumbled fashion, he added, "He said he'd get them. Fucking coward."
Hinata quickly flew back into her memories, recalling what Sasuke had mentioned yesterday. He had said he learned the trick of soaking sweet pea seeds from him. So, naturally, they must have discussed it together. But why would Sasuke want to know about them so much?
"Yes, we did get them," she answered after a moment of wonder, "I'm simply confused as to why you would know that."
Shikamaru huffed and leaned back into the padded booth. "He came to me about them. Temari's gotten into gardening recently — I told you that before, right? She forces me to help her, so I guess I know a bit. I suppose he knew about that, so he came to ask me."
"Yes," she said, "but why?"
At that, he smirked a tad. "That's what I thought you figured out. But if that's not why you're here, then why did you come find me?"
Her mind still hung onto the mystery of the sweet peas, but Hinata forced herself to focus on the new matter at hand. "I have a question to ask you. About Temari."
"Uh oh."
"Does she ever — well, has she ever written a list about you?"
Shikamaru's eyes sharpened with focus, and then he searched her jacket for any pocket he could find. "Show me."
He already figured it out. Blushing, Hinata pulled out the list and handed it to Shikamaru. His eyes widened at the title, and then he read over it at a lightning speed that did not match his normally laid-back attitude.
"Good God," was all he said.
Shame filled her mouth. She tried to take the paper back, but he turned away and read it once more.
"I've never seen something like this."
"I-I'm still not sure what to make of it," she admitted in a whisper.
Shikamaru sucked on the straw, sighed, then dropped the list on the table in front of her. "It's not just Naruto. The both of them are morons." That didn't sound good. Did he see no hope of this turning out to be some mistake, some form of miscommunication? Did he think Sasuke really only saw the negatives in her? She swallowed hard, and Shikamaru stared at her, realized the predicament, and rubbed at his neck. "Hey, but — come on, Hinata. He married you, didn't he? So it doesn't matter what's on that list."
"He didn't write one good thing," she said. "Not a single pro."
"But does it really matter? If he still went out of his way to marry you, then he must not care all that much about the cons."
The lump of worries in her throat was hard to swallow down, but she tried to not choke on it. He was right. She had to think of it that way. It was best to just ask Sasuke about it before she started assuming things.
…
When she came home, he wasn't in his study, he wasn't in their room, and he wasn't in the weapons room.
When she called for him, he emerged from the back door, the knees of his pants covered in dirt. "Sasuke!" She really couldn't help but laugh a bit. He looked so completely out of his zone. His hair was out of place. He was even wearing his shirt backwards. "What in the world are you doing that caused you to look like that?"
Just as she had said it, her eyes fell on a piece of paper situated on the coffee table in the living room.
It read:
- Soak seeds overnight
- Weed garden and surrounding area
- Till
- Check quality of soil
- Plant accordingly
"Sasuke, this —"
"I'm still learning."
He looked like he wanted to come to her. His right leg lifted to step inside their home, but he looked down at his dirty self and stopped, staying outside.
"It's not perfect," he said, "but I'm learning."
Her mind snapped the pieces together. The lists, what Shikamaru had said, his sudden knowledge of sweet peas. "You're . . . learning how to garden?"
His mouth twisted in that way that made her heart race circles in her chest. Her feet took her across the floor so he wouldn't have to worry about getting the house dirty.
"Yes," he said, eventually.
"Why?"
Sasuke turned towards the garden off to the side of the house. "I always see you working out there. Between chores and missions. Non-stop." He looked down at his hand, covered in dirt in a similar fashion to how it had looked two days ago. "I thought it would benefit you if you had help."
Her chest squeezed, then burst open. The idea of it — of him out there with her, knelt next to her, tilling the soil and watching the flowers as they grew — made every part of her burn. The image was so vivid in her mind. That world of hers, with him now in it. The colors of the petals against his palm. The smell of the earth on his shirt. She couldn't pull away from it. She couldn't stop yearning for that thing she never thought she'd ever yearn for.
"Hinata."
He pulled her out of that world, back to reality, and she hopped onto the tips of her feet and leaned for him.
He stepped back, frowning.
"Sasuke," she laughed, trying again.
He kept moving away. "Hinata."
"Sasuke," she matched his tone.
"I'm filthy," he said.
Like that mattered to her. "We'll both be like that when we garden together."
He blinked, shoulders falling in surrender. Smiling, Hinata wrapped her arms around him, hugging him with as much joy as she could muster, and then she tipped her head back to kiss him.
…
A list of how Sasuke showed his love:
1. He made lists to show he was listening.
2. He ate your food, no matter how tired he may be.
3. He leaned down when he kissed you, not caring if it made his neck a tad sore.
4. He taught himself to garden so he could be closer to you.
*** Con #31: She has a sweet tooth ***
That's a negative?
Hinata found herself reading the list that morning. Sasuke was in his study. He had been when she woke up, and she decided it was best to not disturb him and wait for him to finish before they went out to the garden.
To be honest, she did not know why she was reading it again.
Perhaps a part of her was hoping she'd find something, an iota of something on that empty half of the page that read 'Pro'. But no matter how she scowled and squinted, she saw nothing but the cons. At one point, she thought she could make out lines of graphite near the bottom, but they didn't seem to make any sort of lettering.
Nothing.
There was nothing new.
Just the same old list.
And even if she knew it was immature of her, it plagued her throughout the morning. When Sasuke finished and they ate breakfast, she refused any sort of treat. The look he shot her was concerned, but she only sent him a smile before heading out to the garden.
There, they worked for a good two hours under the sun, pulling out weeds, watering, adding vitamins to the soil; by the time they were finished, she was in a mostly better mood. Until —
"I'll get you something from the bakery."
Sasuke gave her that offer. One that made her heart leap, then sink into her stomach.
"That's alright," she said, "I'm fine."
Again, his face fell with concern. "What's wrong?"
He knew her so well; or maybe he could just read her like a book. Shaking her head, Hinata said, "It's nothing. I'm just tired. Do you mind if I use the shower first?"
No protests came from him, and Hinata left for their shared bathroom, where she stripped, blasted hot water through the showerhead, and scrubbed at her skin until it was red.
Stop, Hinata, she told herself. Stop thinking about that list. Actually, stop avoiding it and ask him already.
Really, it was doing her no good to just bring that list with her everywhere she went. A constant reminder that weighed her down. She had said she would ask Sasuke about it, so she should!
No more playing around.
No more avoiding.
Mind set, Hinata washed and rinsed her hair, turned off the water, dried herself, and fetched a new outfit from the closet. By the time she was done, she could hear the front door opening and closing, and she left the bedroom and journeyed down the hallway to find Sasuke placing something on the kitchen table.
"Here." It was a bag from the bakery down the street. "I got your favorite."
She didn't have to look to know. She could smell the cinnamon, the icing.
How cruel.
"You're a cruel man, Sasuke Uchiha." His eyes widened as she went over, took the bag from the table, and slammed down the pros and cons list in its place. "You don't like the fact that I have a sweet tooth, but you still buy me sweets. What am I supposed to do about that?"
No anger came to his face. No shock, as well.
In fact, he looked completely unconcerned.
"Ah." Ah? "You found it."
"Yes," she said, waiting for him to give an explanation, an excuse, a reason for why he'd ever write a list like this, and when nothing escaped him, she gave him a look. "You have no defense?"
His eyes lidded. "Should I?"
"Sasuke." Her hand landed on the piece of paper. "It's a list of nothing but things you hate about me —"
"Hate about you?"
"— so I was hoping you might have some reason for writing it."
Maybe it was her voice. Maybe it was her face. Something made him realize the seriousness of the situation, and his head snapped down to the list. His hand skimmed the line of cons, and then he pressed his palm against the empty half of pros.
"It faded," he said.
Hinata blinked several times. "Pardon me?"
He tapped his finger against the aged, slightly wrinkled paper. "I wrote this section in pencil. It must have worn away, but you can still see the marks where the words used to be." What? Again, Hinata squinted, but didn't see what he meant by that. "I wrote the cons all in one night, but with the pros, it was over several months, so I used pencil since it was more accessible. But this was two years ago, and this sort of paper doesn't hold graphite well —"
"Two years ago?" But — But they had only been dating for a little over two years. "You mean you wrote this a few months after we started dating?" He started thinking about marrying me that soon?
A bit of color came to his face, and he turned away after grabbing the list from the table. "Something like that."
Her heart was singing in her ears. She could hardly think. "So you did write pros?"
He glanced at her over his shoulder. "You thought I only wrote cons?"
Hinata didn't have to say anything. Frowning, Sasuke made his way down the hallway and turned into his study. She wasn't too far behind him, but she stopped by the doorway as he rounded his desk, sat, and pulled his pen out.
"I remember all the pros," he said, "so I'll write them again."
"Sasuke. It's okay. I understand now."
He started scribbling down his list, and as he did so, he spoke every word he wrote aloud so that she could hear, so that she could truly understand.
*** The Pros of Marrying Hinata Hyuuga ***
1. She's beautiful.
13. Her laughter is the best sound in the world.
32. She makes everything better. Even the bad things. Especially the bad things.
56. She paints the sky at sunset.
70. She makes me feel like I belong.
89. Her determination is powerful. Everything about her is powerful.
107. I feel like her equal. Nothing more, nothing less.
145. If I marry her, she'll not only be the first thing I think about, but the first thing I see.
146. If I marry her, I won't have to stay up past midnight to take care of this damn house by myself.
177. If I marry her, I'll become braver.
178. If I marry her, I'll become better.
…
"I don't care if she can sometimes be a pushover. I don't care if she has a sweet tooth. She might worry a lot, but at least she'll worry about me. She may dream too much, but at least they're dreams of me. For every insignificant con she has, there are a million pros, and if I marry her, I'll spend the rest of my life finding more."
His pen made a sudden pause. Sasuke looked up, and gestured her over.
Hinata wasn't sure how she was still alive. She didn't know how she managed to get to that desk; but when she did, he tapped at that name — Hinata Hyuuga — and smirked with pride.
"Not to mention," he hummed, "that I think Hinata Uchiha fits you much better."
…
Hinata Uchiha loved the fact that her husband had a knack for lists.
They were a window into his mind. They showed what he cared about and how he cared about them.
It did not matter if they were small things like gardening or big things like marriage, he gave them all his undivided attention and time. That was simply how Sasuke Uchiha worked.
And now . . . it was how Hinata Uchiha worked, as well.
For in her head, she already began to plan it.
…
*** A List of the Many Ways to Thank Sasuke Uchiha. ***