Edward

"Then why don't you tell me what it is you want? Because this is what we both agreed to and you won't talk to me. You just started to freak out when you realized I wasn't at your house and had expectations for me. If you can't be clear about what you want from me either as your sugar baby or your girlfriend, then …" Bella trails off.

I'm gasping for breath, trying to find my bearings. "Then what? What are you saying?"

"Then maybe the love we have between us isn't enough. Maybe we should stop before we go any further."

"Bella? What are you saying?" I repeat the question, because I can't believe this is happening.

"Let me know when you figure yourself out, Edward. I know where I stand. Where are you?"

She hangs up before I can answer and I curse as I toss my phone onto the counter of the kitchen island where I'm standing. Feeling shocked and hurt beyond belief, I just shuffle upstairs and get ready for bed.

As I tuck myself under the covers, I feel the weariness of the day engulf me, overwhelming me until I break into sobs. I'm mad at myself for not just saying yes to Bella. I'm mad at Bella for pushing so much. I am mad at … everything. Eventually, at some point, I fall off into a fitful sleep.

When I wake up in the morning I find the sun streaming between the drapes and I roll over to find Dwayne leaning against the doorway, staring at me with murder in his eyes. "Jesus, Dwayne," I clutch at my heart, willing my heart rate to go down. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Not especially, but it would be apt payback for the morning I've had since you decided to play hooky." He narrows his eyes. "Get up and get downstairs. We need to talk." He walks away without a backward glance.

Even though Dwayne is in my employ, I know he's about to hand my ass to me. After rushing through my morning routine, I throw on my robe and head downstairs … to find Dwayne scrolling through my phone at the island.

"Oh man, you couldn't have fucked this up any worse had you actually tried." Setting the phone down on the island, he keeps it out of my reach when I make a move for it. "You may have a cup of coffee while you explain to me what happened."

He pockets my device before pouring me a cup as I begin to describe the previous day in excruciating detail. Dwayne doesn't say a word as I recap everything that went down and when I'm finished he just continues to stare at me.

"So, you turned down a perfectly good and what could have been an extremely temporary solution to your problem, and accused Bella of being just as ambitious as Lauren?" He asks as he takes a sip of his own coffee.

"I didn't accuse her of being like Lauren. I-"

"But you did. When you said no and lumped her into the same category as your former baby and ignored the fact that she doesn't give a shit about your magazine," Dwayne steps behind him to grab the pot to top us both up.

"I didn't mean it like that." Sighing, I shift uncomfortably foot to foot.

"Well, of course you didn't, but then again, you never mean it like that." Dwayne smirks and it grates on my last nerve.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

He points at me, smiling. "You have a temper, you always have. You have control issues, you always have. And you're shit at communicating, which-"

"I always have been, right? Move on with your point, Dwayne."

"You're also incredibly impatient. You want everything immediately and your way. But you can't tell anyone how that is. You somehow expect people to just glean it from you by like, osmosis or something. You like bright, educated, funny women who are ambitious because they can keep up with you, but when their ambitions start to exceed what you can compete with, you lose your mind." Dwayne spreads his hands in front of him.

"Maybe so but Lauren really did want to take over the magazine," I tsk reaching for my coffee.

Dwayne rolls his eyes. "I've seen her since she moved back to Washington. Are you positive that was her plan with you? Or was she trying to learn from you?"

I think back to the Halloween party and Lauren's comment. "You never wanted to take the time to teach me, because you wanted to keep everything separate between us."

"Are you paranoid because this has just been yours for so long that the idea of having someone else's hands in the pot is too much for you? Bella genuinely loves you, although, right now I don't know why. If you throw this away with her over something as stupid as the magazine," he holds up his hands when I move to interrupt him. "I know it's your entire life, but take a big step back and look at this a little more broadly please." With that, he hands me my phone and walks to the door.

"Oh, and Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"You're an idiot if you think you can control a woman like Bella Swan. You invited her into your life before you even knew her. She swept right in and swept you off your feet. Fucking fix it."

Then he's gone.

I spend a few hours mulling over my friend's words. He's got a point and I know it, but I'm still not sure I made the wrong call. I do know I overreacted when I called Bella last night. I was a buffoon and I'm sorry and frankly, embarrassed by my behavior. I'm not sure how to fix that part without sheer groveling and while that's at least half of it, I can pinpoint the other half.

Scrolling through the numerous text messages and missed calls from last night, I decide to suck it up and give Bella a call. I stop scrolling when I see a missed call I don't expect. Lauren. Why the fuck did Lauren call me yesterday?

Throwing all caution to the wind, I tap on Lauren's name and wait while the call connects. "Edward Cullen, you've got some serious explaining to do."

An hour later, I'm rolling up to Eleazar's office to meet with Lauren and I'm not happy about it. Sometime after Bella hung up on me, she called Lauren for insight. I didn't even realize they were in contact with each other. Lauren is a part of my past; she has nothing to do with what's going on between Bella and me now.

I'm led to a conference room to wait and soon enough Lauren comes walking in looking disappointed. "Edward, I'm glad you called. Thanks for coming." She gestures to a seat across from her as she takes one for herself.

"Since when are you and my girlfriend best friends?" My snide comment rolls off my tongue before I can stop it, but dammit, why didn't I know about this?

Lauren rolls her eyes, sighing. "We're not, not even a little bit. She called me because she thought she was wrong. For the record, I didn't want to get involved, but -"

"Yet here you are, in the middle of my personal life." Sneering, I cross my arms, looking away from her.

I can hear her frustrated sigh and the creak of her chair. "You wanna know what your problem is?"

Looking back to her, I roll my eyes. "Oh, please, enlighten me."

"You have such a superiority complex about everything, especially when it comes to women." She shoots me a pointed look when I open my mouth to interrupt. "You like being a daddy because you like the control aspect. You want someone to answer to you and you want to be responsible for them, because you know best."

"But I also let my babies have free rein to be their own people, do their own things. I want them to have jobs, friends, interests other than me," I'm feeling fighty.

"Edward, tell me the truth, wouldn't you prefer if you had someone subservient? I'm not saying you want someone to wait on you hand and foot, but I think you give them the freedom because deep down you know it's the correct thing to do, but not what you really want." Lauren sighs again, "What you want is someone truly at your beck and call. Jane gave you exactly that. I gave you exactly the opposite. I'm assuming Bella gives you both … and that's why you can't deal with it."

Staring at Lauren, I realize that I see the smart, savvy woman that I connected with a few years ago, who has truly only matured. She's hit on several points, right on the head, but there's something she isn't saying.

"You're leaving something out. You've never not let me have it."

"Aren't you tired of me berating you yet?" She grins, making me bark out a laugh. "Do you love her? I mean, do you really love her? Can you see a future with her?"

"Yes." There's no hesitation in my voice.

She leans forward across the table, "Then why are you here, talking to me?"