the gentle light that strays and vanishes and returns
by Rose Thorne
Disclaimer: I don't own The Untamed or its characters.
Chapter Two
He somehow survives dinner, at which Wei Wuxian is oddly quiet, dressed in robes he had the servants put in his wardrobe so he knew damn well he found them, carrying both Chenqing and Suibian, and no he doesn't feel any particular way about either except… good. He should wear those clothes and carry his sword. But Jiang Cheng sure as hell isn't going to address either, not with Lan Wangji around.
He makes sure to mention Jin Ling's eminent arrival, probably the next day, asks that they not visit the ancestral shrine until then, and escapes as quickly as he can.
Not quickly enough to avoid Lan Sizhui, who shows up at his office all polite to ask questions about growing lotuses. Jiang Cheng doubts they'd survive on that damnable mountain, but he thought the same thing about the Burial Mounds and Wei Wuxian got them to grow anyway.
And so Jiang Cheng gives him a brief lecture on the growing of lotuses, and offers to introduce him to a local farmer.
"They may not survive the winters in the Cloud Recesses," he warns. "Though if you throw the problem to Wei Wuxian he'll probably develop a brand new talisman to ensure they will."
That gets a small chuckle from the boy, and he feels weirdly proud to have elicited it. Probably he has the same mental image Jiang Cheng does, of Wei Wuxian hunched over talisman paper, ink staining his fingers and probably his nose from his habit of rubbing it with one finger when he thinks.
"Thank you, Jiang-zongzhu," Lan Sizhui says with a bow.
"Jiang-shushu, if Wei Wuxian is your die," he corrects.
The boy should have always been his nephew, had things gone differently, but they can't change the past; they can only move forward. If that's even an option.
Lan Sizhui's smile widens and for a moment he is transported back to the Burial Mounds, the kid attached to his leg and grinning up at him.
"Of course, Jiang-shushu," the kid says, before exiting and leaving him blessedly alone to decidedly not tear up over the whole thing.
He feels strangely lighter, something that barely makes sense even as it makes total sense, nonsensical in its contradiction.
Hopefully he can get through the next few days with his sanity intact.
He spends some time dealing with correspondence, then runs the late evening remedial training he instituted to help disciples struggling with forms. Both provide distractions, though with a letter from Yao-zongzhu he had to reply to, he can't say they were all good.
Jiang Cheng knows he can't avoid Wei Wuxian forever, nor does he want to, and so he's not entirely surprised to see his brother sitting at the edge of a pier overlooking the lotus ponds, his form lit up by the light of the waning half moon reflecting off the water. He has a servant retrieve some Lotus Breeze for them to share, knowing full well it's better to do this with drink, too many emotions not to. It's past Lan Wangji's bedtime, so they shouldn't be disturbed.
He doesn't know what to say, so he settles for saying nothing, just sitting down by Wei Wuxian and placing one of the bottles next to him. Wei Wuxian gropes for it without looking and takes a long drag, letting the alcohol spill from his mouth down his chin, and it's such a familiar picture that Jiang Cheng could be back before the war, drinking on the pier with his brother.
"You still wear your wine instead of drinking it," he finds himself saying.
Wei Wuxian only grins at him, taking the ribbing for what it is, and something in Jiang Cheng relaxes.
"It's about time you came home," he says, purposefully looking at the moon instead of his brother.
"I didn't know if you'd want me here," Wei Wuxian responds after a moment.
"You're an idiot," he mutters, taking a deep swig of his own wine. "I should've just invited you, I guess, but you've never needed an invitation before."
That receives a short laugh, but something in Wei Wuxian goes distant, like he's many li away from Lotus Pier, and Jiang Cheng knows he's thinking about A-Jie.
He wants to kick himself—of course Wei Wuxian would think he needed an invitation; he probably still thought A-Jie's death was his fault. Not that Jiang Cheng is any help there, having blamed him very publicly for the sixteen years of his death.
But even if he wasn't proven innocent, the victim of a smear campaign and a second flute, A-Jie pushed him aside to take that sword, gave her life for him. And Jiang Cheng had gone and cheapened that all these years, even trying to kill him as Lan Wangji tried to save him.
No wonder the other man hates him.
He pushes himself out of the spiral, knowing it does no good. What's done is done, separate from what he does now.
"Anyway, you're home now. That's what matters," Jiang Cheng says, nudging his brother to get him out of his own spiral.
Wei Wuxian looks at him with startled eyes, then smiles and has another sip of his wine.
They sit and drink together until it's clear to Jiang Cheng that Wei Wuxian is falling asleep where he sits, and then he bullies him to his feet and escorts him to the quarters he's sharing with Lan Wangji.
Tomorrow is another day, and Jin Ling will be arriving before midday.
Wei Wuxian looks like a painted ghost at breakfast, having clearly slept poorly despite Jiang Cheng's best intentions, and he can only hope his brother doesn't fall asleep right into his congee. Lan Sizhui keeps to Lan expectations about silence during meals, and Jiang Cheng almost wishes they'd brought the loud Lan just so it wouldn't be so quiet.
Lan Wangji makes sure Wei Wuxian eats at least a little.
Jiang Cheng arranges a boat for them to take on the lakes, even though there are no lotus seeds to eat this time of year. He hopes Wei Wuxian enjoys it, at least—he could care less about whether Lan Wangji enjoys it. By the time they're back Jin Ling should have arrived.
Lan Sizhui demurs rather than go on a boat, and Jiang Cheng recalls he gets seasick, or at least did on the trip to Lotus Pier after the failed siege of the Burial Mounds, so instead he introduces him to a lotus farmer so he can learn about the planting and cultivation of lotuses for what he presumes is a secret project for Wei Wuxian.
That leaves Jiang Cheng to his own devices until Jin Ling arrives, and he focuses on answering correspondence and not losing his temper at Ouyang-zongzhu's ridiculous letter about walking corpses supposedly being the work of Wei Wuxian, who clearly is in no condition to fuck around with the undead right now, and who was in Gusu until yesterday besides.
Afterward, he spends his time going through the routine of Jiang moves, calming himself through the fluid movement, until he's interrupted by a familiar voice, "Jiujiu."
He hopes Jin Ling won't mind Wei Wuxian's presence for his mother's birthday, and is relieved when his nephew only nods and asks if they brought Jingyi or Sizhui with them.
Of course Jin Ling abandons him to go find Lan Sizhui, and they're having lotus and pork rib soup for lunch and Jiang Cheng has no idea how Wei Wuxian will handle it because it's not perfect like Jie's. Because he's not handling it, clearly, looking like a damn walking corpse and too quiet, and Jiang Cheng isn't able to handle a Wei Wuxian who isn't handling it well.
Because his brother is supposed to bounce back.
Only he remembers that first year after Jie died and his chest felt as hollowed-out as it did after Wen Zhuliu crushed his core all over again, even with Wei Wuxian's spinning in its place. And he'd had two sets of anniversaries happening, two siblings dead, a sect to run, and a colicky nephew to take care of on top of it all.
It's not even just Jie for Wei Wuxian, who'd gone to Nightless City because Wen Qing and Wen Ning had been killed, one for real and the other faked, along with the other Wens he'd lived with for those last years; his brother who'd lost so much more that awful year, enough for Jie's death to finish breaking him when he'd always bounced back before.
Or maybe he hadn't, but he hid it when he could, and Jiang Cheng didn't look closely because he didn't, and still doesn't, know how to handle a Wei Wuxian who isn't handling it. But this time he's looking closer, trying to do something about it, because the alternative is to watch his brother break again, and that's not happening.
He stops spiraling with the help of some tea and meditation, and by that time Wei Wuxian is back with Lan Wangji, and Jin Ling is back with Lan Sizhui, and it's lunchtime. At least Wei Wuxian looks a little less like a walking ghost, though the soup may mess that up.
The worst thing about his relationship with Wei Wuxian is that Jiang Cheng doesn't know how to fix it, how to help him. Before, they had A-Jie, and she always had the right words, was always there to warm them with her soup and affection, but Jiang Cheng always has the wrong words.
All he can do is offer no words at all, letting the soup speak for him.
Wei Wuxian's eyes go glassy as he's served the soup, but he turns to Jin Ling instead of breaking down.
"Your niang used to make this soup for A-Cheng and me, growing up."
He relates the time Jie went to find Wei Wuxian because Jiang Cheng had chased him away with threats of dogs, though he doesn't mention that part, just tells him of their strong sister, carrying the both of them home and then making them the best soup he'd ever had.
"She made it all the time, just her way of showing she loved us."
Jin Ling is rapt, a hungry look in his eyes to hear a story of his mother, and Jiang Cheng is so glad Wei Wuxian is back and can tell him these stories—he always was the better storyteller, with a knack for putting events in a sensible order. Jiang Cheng has tried, but he's only one person who knew Jie, and Wei Wuxian makes two.
"We should talk to Mianmian, see if she'll tell you stories about your father," Wei Wuxian comments. "We ran into her just before the second siege, so we know where to find her."
"Mianmian?" Jin Ling asks doubtfully.
"Luo Qingyang," Lan Wangji supplies, "was close to your father, a friend."
"I bet she'd be happy to tell you about him," Wei Wuxian adds.
Jin Ling looks almost hungry at the idea, but speechless, so Jiang Cheng speaks for him, even as he beats himself up for not thinking of that years ago: "Contact her and see if she'll go to Jinlintai."
Wei Wuxian does that thing where he smiles and his eyes become half-moons, a true grin, and Jiang Cheng lets out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.
"I'm sure she will now," Lan Wangji says.
The "now" is fraught with implications, but all of them are against the Jin, so it's funny snark instead of the jabs he sometimes hits Jiang Cheng with. Suddenly he can see why Wei Wuxian insists he's funny.
Now that Jin Guangshan is dead, and Jin Guangyao as well, with A-Ling working to root out the old corruption so that the Jin could be one day known for illuminating the world instead of just their wealth, Luo Qingyang will have no reason to avoid Jinlintai. She may even be willing to help A-Ling with rooting out that corruption.
Eventually, though, it is inevitable; lunch ends and the time has come to pay respect in the family shrine, where he had placed a tablet for Jie—there was also one in Lanling, but Jin Ling preferred to honor her at Lotus Pier for her birthday.
Jiang Cheng has honored her like this sixteen times since her death, and this will be a first anniversary for Wei Wuxian, for whom those years had blinked by in his death, he imagined. His once-brother's grief had been too raw for it to be any other way. He sees his first year in Wei Wuxian's grieving.
The piers twist around the various pavilions as Jiang Cheng leads the way to the shrine, letting him see how Wei Wuxian seems to shrink as they near; for all he'd been there before Guanyin Temple, this is different.
He can only hope this visit will give Wei Wuxian some peace.
They wind up not even seated near each other, with Wei Wuxian seated between Hanguang-Jun and his son, something that leaves him feeling blocked away. He doesn't acknowledge the distance, though, knowing the Lans mean to offer him support through this, support Jiang Cheng should be responsible for, not that he's shown himself trustworthy of that.
While he could wallow in self-pity and make this visit all about himself, Jiang Cheng chooses instead to take a deep breath and push away the negative intrusive thoughts—this visit is about Jiejie, and about Wei Wuxian.
Even Jin Ling is looking at Wei Wuxian with worry by now, and Jiang Cheng can feel him elbow Lan Sizhui, seated on the other side of Jin Ling, looking for an explanation that isn't forthcoming.
Seconds of a terrible pregnant silence pass, and Jiang Cheng can't stand it, can understand how Wei Wuxian might need to fill it with chatter all the time.
"A-Jie, we've come to visit you. A-Xian came home."
The words spill from his lips before he can think, the affectionate version of Wei Wuxian's name that Jiang Yanli had preferred feeling natural in his mouth.
It would be perfect, except that Wei Wuxian starts crying, a sort of convulsive sob that sounds like a dam breaking lose.
Lan Wangji immediately starts fussing, as does Lan Sizhui, while Jin Ling just freezes, looking like he'd rather run away than deal with a crying Wei Wuxian.
Jiang Cheng knows exactly how he feels.
"Don't be a mess in front of A-Jie," he hisses. "You're a grown man."
"Xianxian is three," Wei Wuxian practically wails.
The routine is comforting but A-Jie isn't here to baby him like she used to, and Jiang Cheng doesn't have that kind of patience.
"Grow up, Wei Wuxian! If you're only three, how are you supposed to have your wedding at Lotus Pier so A-Jie can be there?"
Okay, so Jiang Cheng absolutely doesn't expect Wei Wuxian to cry harder, and if he doesn't stop, he doesn't trust himself not to fucking bawl; he can feel it itching in his chest.
"I swear, if you don't stop ugly crying, I will—"
He suddenly becomes uncomfortably aware that Lan Wangji's attention has alit on him—he isn't afraid of the man! He just has a well-developed sense of self-preservation, one that makes his go-to threats unwise.
"—I will toss you right into the lake and hope you bothered to teach that body to swim!"
Dammit… now his brother is ugly laughing, too.
When Wei Wuxian eventually stops laugh-crying, he turns to Jiang Cheng with a vulnerable expression that makes him shift uncomfortably.
"You want me to get married at Lotus Pier?" he asks softly. "Even though we already eloped?"
Jiang Cheng huffed. Of course they eloped, probably the last time they were at Lotus Pier. At least they're actually married.
"Do you think one bow is enough for A-Jie? She deserves to see you in wedding red."
Wei Wuxian's face does something complicated.
"Jiang Cheng… we didn't elope here. We weren't together then."
He almost protests that of course they were together, but he stops short, glancing at Lan Wangji, who nods to confirm. So he misunderstood—they'd only been venerating his sister and parents, not taking their bows. Well, that's one thing to not be upset about anymore.
Lan Sizhui is watching them with a soft smile. Jin Ling nods, to urge him on.
"Then, a real wedding. Here at Lotus Pier. What kind of brother would I be if I let you elope like it's some disgrace?"
A wide smile spreads across his brother's face, one that used to be frequent, one Jiang Cheng rarely sees anymore, and he decides right then to make Wei Wuxian smile like that more often, if he can.
"I'd like that," Wei Wuxian says softly.
Lan Wangji looks almost approving, which wasn't one of Jiang Cheng's goals, but he'll take it.
"Good. We'll get you measured for robes while you're here. And start planning. I remember A-Jie's ideas for your wedding."
With a misty smile, Wei Wuxian turns toward Jiang Yanli's tablet.
"Shijie, did you hear? Xianxian is getting married!"
"And he's going to visit more often," Jiang Cheng adds firmly, catching Lan Sizhui's eye to let him know he's included.
"Definitely," Jin Ling adds, grinning, so excited he's tugging on Lan Sizhui's sleeve. "Dajiu."
The laugh from Wei Wuxian, happy and not unlike the chiming of bells, tells him he said the right thing and reminds him to prepare clarity bells for the lot of them.
He'll claim them all for Lotus Pier, even the former Wen, and hopefully it will be enough to make up for everything, his abandonment when it mattered, in this incredible second chance.
So a two-shot here. I already have a wedding to write for "rain falls and soaks into the earth," so unless this one insists on being written, I won't write it. I'm sensing there's some Lan Xichen POV to be written, though, so this series isn't finished yet.
Got into a clinical study for long Covid. We'll see how it goes.
a-jie / jie = elder sister
dajiu = eldest uncle, specifically younger brother of mother
die = dad
jiujiu = mother's younger brother
li = half a kilometer
niang = mom
shijie = martial older sister
shushu = uncle
zongzhu = sect leader