Despite the uniqueness of my current circumstances, I liked to think that I was a pretty rational guy with a perfectly normal thought process. Albeit one with the ability to inflict mass property damage and carnage with a literal word and snap of my fingers.
But since the nature and mechanics of this world tended to occasionally deviate from what I knew about high fantasy stories and RPG adventurers, there were times were my brain needed just a little bit of time to process what was going on.
The ability to shoot lightening and other destructive magic from my hands was relatively easy to rationalize. Though I suppose if I hadn't been immediately involved in a life-or-death situation when I came to this world, I might have still been hamming it up with wasteful displays of my newly bestowed talents.
And I suppose that in a world that was engaged in a ongoing battle with demonic forces, society would be a little more willing to accept help from those that would usually have a little trouble fitting in. Provided of course that they kept their egos in check.
But this?!
This was enough to make my mind go blank.
Even if the sight that greeted me was more pleasing to the eye than it should have been.
"Hi! Welcome to Wiz's Magical Item Shoppe. I'm Wiz. If there's any help I can provide, please do not hesitate to ask."
Honestly I wasn't sure which was more shocking.
The fact that this store wasn't filled with lonely and horny adventurers trying to chat up a lovely woman whose...upper body proportions were both large and jiggly.
Or the fact that the buxom woman in front of me was a creature that had far too much flesh on her to be called a Lich.
Still, considering that she was of a far cheerful disposition than the last immortal magic user I had come across, plus the fact that it had been my partner to choose this place to shop, which meant I couldn't reject it without damaging her already fragile feelings of self-worth, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
"Thank you. I don't suppose you have healing potions, or camping tools for sale?"
The latter being needed since neither Yunyun or I possessed the ability to instantly conjure a fully functional, and more importantly secure camp site into being. Though I suppose we could get creative with our magic if we didn't mind destroying our surroundings.
Sadly however, the ridiculously busty undead seemed keen to prove the old saying that 'looks aren't everything'.
"Well...sadly I'm out of stock for healing potions right now. My last batch, while incredibly effective to the point where they could heal even the most lethal of blows, sadly also caused anyone who drank it to have a case of the runs. Which is why I decided to stock up on this wonderful item from my best supplier."
Deciding to give her the benefit of the doubt, if only because I did not want to piss off a Lich that had enough power to look like a living person instead of a skeleton, I felt my expression go blank as she revealed her so called solution.
"Hyoizaburo's portable toilet. For those that want to experience the comforts of home while on the trail, this is the perfect device for those that want to do their...um business."
I had to give her credit for managing to make that sales pitch with a straight face. But that was not enough to make me want to give up the chance to try and instill some common sense in this undead woman.
But before I could go over the details of why no one would want to pay money for something they could do for free, plus the rather disgusting detail of transporting one's waste receptacle wherever they went, Yunyun decided to speak up.
"Ummm...I'm sorry Ms Wiz, but did you say that this is something created by Hyoizaburo? As in the Crimson Demon Hyoizaburo?"
Doing my best not to frown as I noticed Yunyun's look of resigned recognition, I soon began to mentally give thanks to whatever deity that was watching over me, hopefully, it was that nice angel, that I had lucked out when it came to Crimson Demons.
"The very same! Such a nice man, with quite the inventive streak. Its a shame that many people don't appreciate his talents, but I'm more than happy to help him out."
...
Inventive was just one of the many words she could have used to describe Megumin's father.
Like the majority of their people, Hyoizaburo was loud, eccentric, and convinced that his talents were miles above everyone elses.
Unfortunately, while it was true that he had the ability to create products that no one else had ever though of, they were also products that no one would ever want or use.
But like all Crimson Demons, he lacked the ability to accept responsibility for his failures. Instead blaming others for failing to 'properly appreciate his genius.'
Still, considering that Hyoizaburo was the sole source of income for his family, minus whatever Megumin managed to earn from her party, she was willing to keep her mouth shut. If only because she didn't want Komekko to experience the same set of circumstances that had molded her sister.
Sadly however, Yunyun was reminded that her companion lacked her motivations for keeping silent.
"Considering that its more efficient and cost effective to 'go' behind a tree or bush instead of carrying the added weight of a toilet, I can't imagine any adventurer would want to waste money on this."
Despite the crestfallen expression that was currently being worn by the more 'gifted' store keeper, Yunyun was nevertheless still caught off guard by how defeated Wiz sounded as she conceded Sarlor's observation.
"I...I suppose you have a point. I haven't sold a single one of these yet, and they've been on my shelves for nearly two weeks. Not that the rest of my products move quickly. In fact, I can't recall the last time I managed to break even, let alone turn a profit."
Unsure if she should offer any words of encouragement, for even if Wiz was kind enough to help out those less fortunate Yunyun didn't think she could suggest anything that didn't damage the financial prospects of her rival's family, the black-haired Crimson Demon found herself once again pleasantly astounded by her companion's thought process.
"Did you ever consider selling to more civilian markets? Maybe not the potions with weird side effects, but unless indoor plumbing is something only the wealthy can enjoy, I'm certain there would be those who would appreciate doing their...umm...business, in the comforts of their own home."
...
As a lich, there were many things about her current existence that were different from what she dealt with when she was alive.
She could only be hurt by magic. And even then she had a high tolerance for anything that wasn't holy.
She didn't need to eat or sleep. Which was actually a bit of a blessing since she could rarely afford more than a few crusts of bread and sugared water.
And perhaps the most relevant to this situation, she no longer required the use of a bathroom beyond the need to keep clean.
Thus, it was with a bit of a stammer that she voiced her consideration for this potential business expansion.
If only because it would be better if this slightly scornful adventurer, and his Crimson Demon companion, believed that her hesitance stemmed from normal female embarrassment instead of anything pertaining to her undead nature.
"Ye...yes I suppose that could work. Though sadly most of my customers are adventurers, so I'm not certain how much 'civilian' traffic I would see. Still, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try. Even if most of them are a little scared to come in here."
Something that made her a little sad at times since she always enjoyed talking with people. Even if they rarely bought anything from her. But she supposed that it was caused merely by some aspect of her lich nature leaking out that kept people away.
Shockingly though, her would-be customer provided her with a reason that made her glad that her heartbeat wasn't what it once was.
"Considering most men get intimidated by women that are miles out of their league, I suppose that's to be expected."
She wasn't sure what to feel.
On one hand it had been some time since she had received a compliment like that. And even longer since someone had commented on her appearance without their eyes dropping to her chest. So she should feel happy that this admittingly good looking, if slightly haughty man was acknowledging her good looks while not being driven by lust.
But on the other hand, the slightly pouting expression of his red eyed companion reminded her of the close bonds that could develop between fellow adventurers.
And as a Lich, but more importantly as a high ranking member of the Demon's Army, albeit a largely inactive one, a normal life wasn't in the cards anyway.
So with that in mind, she decided to react with her usual professionalism as he proposed another solution.
One that caused his companion to adopt a more fearful expression.
...
"Of course, you could always just find another supplier for magic goods. If your current one isn't up to the task of creating things for your targeted demographic, my advice would be to get a new one. Provided of course they don't possess the means to force you to keep buying their stuff."
Which in my world would have been binding legal agreements with hefty fines for being in breach. But in this one, I wouldn't be surprised if people of means, be they blue bloods or merchants, employed the more 'honest' method of using physical force to get what they wanted.
But, considering this woman possessed the power to render herself immortal, without reverting to a corpse like state, I doubt that she would have too much trouble in dealing with a shake down.
"Ther...there's actually no binding agreement between Hyoizaburo and I. But..."
"Then you shouldn't have an issue moving forward. Now, since we've already wasted enough of your valuable time, provided you have it in stock, I will take three of your healing potions, and anything else you can recommend for someone off to hunt a bunch of dire wolves."
A touch rude, and heaven knows I would never been able to suggest such a thing in my old life, especially after I had just finished insulting someone's business practice. But since I had prioritized 'Sarlor's' charismatic abilities, my bluntly delivered advice, and attempt to change the topic of conversation was recieved with more acceptance than it would have been before.
"Y...yes I can help you with that! Though for dire wolves, I don't think I have anything on hand specifically tailored towards dealing with them. But I have several other options you can t.."
"EMEREGENCY! EMERGENCY! ALL ADVENTURERER'S TO THE CITY GATES IMMEDIATELY!"
Frowning in irritation at this sudden announcement, though it had more to do with the volume rather than the message itself, I allowed myself to be literally dragged out the door as my previously silent companion gave voice to a question I would also liked answered.
"Wh...what do you think is going on?"
...
He liked to think he was a reasonable guy.
He was always fair with his subordinates.
He never abused those whose station was lesser than his.
And above all, he was a gentleman who always kept his word. Even if he did on occasion take the opportunity to exploit certain loopholes that allowed him to try and witness the 'secrets' that his female comrades kept hidden from him.
But now? He was beyond furious.
And not just because what had happened to his temporary headquarters. Though the previous evening's attack had been the straw that had broken the proverbial camel's back.
No, what pissed him off the most was that the inhabitants of Axel, who undoubtedly had labelled themselves as the 'good guys' in their fruitless war against t the Demon Lord, had allowed one of their own to die.
Yes that 'woman' had been unhinged. Almost to the point where he had lost interest in seeing just how much breast was beneath her breastplate.
But to let her die, when he had graciously offered to remove the curse in exchange for leaving him in peace? That was going too far.
So, Beldia did what any reasonable Demon General would do when his patience been tested to the limit.
He gathered his forces, and marched on Axel to teach them a much sterner lesson.
One that would finally drive home the message that he was an opponent that deserved respect and awe.
...
Annnd I believe that this is a good place to end. Apologies for the late update. Had the idea for this chapter written out a while ago, then came back to it and decided i needed to change it lol.
Fun writing this interaction, though I tried to approach it from 3 sides. Yunyun being aware of the WHO is supplying Wiz with magic junk. Sarlor bashing Wiz's supplier while offering alternate uses for the products. and Wiz crushing just a little bit on the guy who bluntly speaks common sense while treating her with respect, while also lamenting that her current 'state' means no romance for her.
Anyways, hopefully you all enjoyed this. Next chapter will see the 2nd confrontation with Beldia. And some more interaction between the parties.
Plz review. No flames.
TIl next time.