The year progresses and Katniss begins to struggle with the question if she should stay with Peeta or if she should walk away.
I do not own the Hunger Games
Katniss sat by the large windows in the upstairs kitchen. It was Sunday and the bakery was closed. The banquet-style dining table was her favorite space to sit and contemplate the world. It was still dark outside when she got up to go hunting, but she hadn't rushed to get to the woods. Unlike other Sundays, Katniss was in a contemplative mood. As she drank her tea, she gazed outside, staring at the still-dark streets of town.
Things were progressing in a way that surprised Katniss. She was recalling the deal her mother made. How much her life had changed since that day when she'd awkwardly stood in her childhood kitchen listening to her mother and Mrs. Mellark, who Katniss now considered her mother-in-law, argue over the marriage contract. Each one wanting the best deal for their respective child. In hindsight, Katniss understood the desperation the woman must have felt to march herself all the way to the Seam to save her family. There had been a time when Katniss herself had been desperate to save her mother and sister from starvation. Peeta would have lost the bakery if his mother hadn't made arrangements for him to get married.
Katniss took a slow sip of her tea.
All of this wouldn't have happened if Gale had kept it in his pants. Katniss chuckled when she recalled how Mrs. Mellark and Gale's mother almost came to a brawl before the entire district. The irascible woman from a few short months ago had changed. She was far more pleasant now than she had been at the beginning of this journey.
After the family dinner, where Katniss laid down the law, things drastically morphed in the bakery. Her mother-in-law now hummed everywhere, and Peeta's brothers frequented the bakery. They had one more Sunday dinner together, a potluck, where Peeta's father grilled the fish Katniss caught. They sat outside underneath the apple tree, enjoying the cool evening.
Her mother-in-law often spoke highly of Katniss, much to her chagrin, in front of Peeta's brother's wives. Aubrey and Carol both claimed they didn't mind, not wanting the spotlight on them. Both women were still trepidatious around Mrs. Mellark but were more open around their father-in-law. He was the easiest of the two. Peeta had inherited his gentleness and kindness.
Katniss sighed when she thought of Peeta. Her body literally warmed and she had to put the cup down to fan herself with her hand.
"What are you doing up?" Peeta stood with his wavy hair askew, his sleep shirt buttons were half undone showing off the smooth skin of his torso. His voice was low and grave.
"I was going to go hunting."
"Why don't you come back to bed with me instead?" He held out his hand to her. His cornflower blue eyes gazed at her with such yearning Katniss melted into a pool of mush.
Katniss stood from her spot and walked over to him, placing her hand in his. Hunting could wait, snuggling with Peeta sounded much better.
Things were growing between Peeta and Katniss. They had been walking through the meadow one evening and their hands kept on brushing the other until their pinkies looped together loosely. This led to his hand enveloping her smaller one.
Katniss's heart sprinted in her chest, sending little sparks of pleasure throughout her body. Katniss discovered she loved his hands, how they sculpted the most delicate flowers, and how warm and strong they felt encased around hers. She found she enjoyed speaking to Peeta. They talked about all nonsensical things that made her laugh and they also discussed intimate personal stuff that neither one shared with anyone else.
Peeta told her how he was a goner at five after he heard her sing the valley song. She'd been wondering where he'd heard her sing.
"The valley song?" Katniss didn't know what to do with that information.
They were in bed going over the day when he began telling her about how he thought her voice was beautiful. Katniss didn't sing in public so she was sure he had to be funning her. She was wrong, and now she couldn't stop staring at him open-mouthed.
"Every note you sang was like a picture." Peeta shrugged, his cheeks were red.
"I can't believe you remembered that."
"My brothers made fun of me for it, because they'd caught me humming the Valley song a few times."
"You gave me bread," she blurted, wanting to share with him about the bread and how important it was to her.
"The bread?"
"The loaves of bread you burned." Katniss looked at him, she bit her lip, then continued. "I was so hungry. I'd given up hope. Then I heard the ruckus."
Katniss could clearly see that cold night, it was one etched in her mind; still felt the frozen water seeping through her layers of clothing.
His hands cupped her cheek as he leaned over her watching her.
"Your mother was yelling at you. I didn't hear half of what she said, but I heard when she told you to toss those loaves to the pigs. But you didn't throw them at the pigs. You stared at me and threw me the loaves." Katniss wanted to explain how important it was for her.
"It was just bread, Katniss." Peeta listened, not moving. "It wasn't enough. I should have told you to come into the bakery. Fed you."
She was surprised he thought it wasn't enough. "My mother and I were starving, and I knew that if I didn't bring something home, my sister wouldn't make it. That bread meant the world to me, Peeta."
"I didn't know." He lay back, his eyes gazing up at the ceiling.
She leaned over him, wanting to grant him a special boon. "Would you like for me to sing you to sleep?"
"You'd sing for me?"
"Only for you," she whispered, her heart pounding in her chest.
He smiled beautifully. "Thank you."
She'd taken his hand and began softly singing the meadow song. His eyes turned dark, then widened at the sound of her voice. Her voice lulled him to sleep, and she had not released his hand until she had to. She brushed his blond hair away from his face and daringly placed a small kiss on his cheek before snuggling into his side and fell asleep.
After this, Katniss discovered listening to his voice was one of her favorite things to do. On rainy days when they were stuck inside, she loved to listen to him read. Peeta animated the story. His golden lashes fluttered and she wondered at how they didn't tangle. He was, dared she say it, handsome.
"Read me that part over again?" She whispered, her head tucked by his side.
It was a rainy evening and they were tucked in Peeta's room. Graham and Aubry wanted to put Junior in his own room now that he was getting bigger. They had a room that had lots of junk and old things that were collected throughout the years. Peeta agreed to help them clean up the room. He came home excited about the finds. The following day when Katniss arrived at the bakery from hunting she found Peeta and Graham hauling a comfy overstuffed chair up the stairs.
They had to get their father and Bannock involved to get it up the stairs. Peeta managed to get the chair into their room. Peeta also brought a small bookcase from Graham's and a warm knit gray blanket. He set the bookcase next to the chair, and after washing the blanket draped it on the chair. He declared it the reading nook. The chair was large enough that it could fit both of them. In the evenings, or on days like these, when it rained hard outside, they would sit together and Peeta would read to her.
Katniss had been listening with rapt attention. For the moment, she put aside all thoughts of what would happen when her time was up. This book, with its magical place called England, about a war-torn land where children were separated from their families, sounded all too real to Katniss.
Peeta cleared his voice before picking up the book, The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe.
"Then be off home as quick as you can," said the Faun, "and – c-can you ever forgive me for what I meant to do?" Katniss grinned at the voice he gave the faun, but she giggled when he made the voice of Lucy. "Why, of course I can," said Lucy, shaking him heartily by the hand. "And I do hope you won't get into dreadful trouble on my account."
This was one of the books Peeta had found in the attic. This, so far, had been her favorite book. She peered at the picture of the half goat half man called a faun.
"Do you think?"
"What?"
"Do you think there are doors to other places?"
"I've never seen one, but I hope they do exist."
"Do you think the wardrobe is magic? She had so many questions, "How did the professor get his hands on the wardrobe? Also, why would Peter and Susan believe Edmund and Lucy? It's not as if Fauns exist?"
He laughed.
"What?" Books weren't something she had access to; the school had books, but they were all on mining and the glorious history of Panem. The only book she had access to was her father's plant book. In the Seam, the older families had a book called a family tree that documented toastings and the birth of children. Books like this one, however, were a treat. Katniss loved to read books that had nothing to do with the government. She liked to read stories. The Mellark had books. Cooking books, recipe books, and story books.
Peeta smiled sweetly. "You really like this book."
"You sound surprised."
"Well, I am. I didn't think you liked reading."
"I like books, not books about Panem's history, but I loved reading in school. I used to read books to Prim when she was little. What about you, do you like reading?"
"To be honest, I was always too busy for that. We had to work at the bakery before and after school and also I participated in wrestling. By the time I got into bed at night, I was exhausted." After a while, he said softly, "This is the first time in my life I've had time off. Reading to you has become one of my favorite things to do."
With every word he uttered, her heart rate increased. Her chest was filled with wonder and a stirring deep within her belly. There was something stirring between them, something profound and deeper than the rivers that ran through the woods. It was magical, like the book he read to her. It was also magnificent and at the same time terrifying. Katniss didn't know how to respond to this.
She stared at him, as he skimmed ahead. She drank in his features that had become familiar and wonderful to her. She could not, for the life of her, decide whether or not to stay. Regardless of her choice, Katniss would stay married to Peeta. However, the question remained; did she want to live with him in the bakery? In the beginning, the answer would have been a resounding no. However, as time slipped by, her answer became muddled. There was a large part of her that wanted to stay, it was comfortable here in the bakery. The relationships she had with each of the Mellarks had changed.
The most surprising relationship was the one that propped up between herself and Mrs. Mellark. Her mother-in-law's attitude changed from frosty to congenial. Peeta's father was always affable toward Katniss, and now he was fatherly toward her. Peeta was where she was divided. Her mind said what was between them was only because this was a contract, and at the end, they would each be free. But at the same time, her heart clenched, thinking of leaving him, and whispered that the friendship they developed was special. And she questioned whether she really wanted to leave or see where this led.
It was a scary thing to allow herself to follow this unknown path. Yet she was a willing voyager, because of him. Katniss wanted to be by him. The more time she spent with him, the greedier she became and the more her life revolved around Peeta.
Katniss was finding that with every passing day, her thoughts were filled with him. She would listen to a joke in the Hob, and she would immediately want to repeat it to Peeta. She would sniff an herb and she wondered what yummy food Peeta could make with it. She would be having a conversation with her mother and she would be thinking of a conversation she'd previously had with him.
Peeta was easy to speak to and yes, there were times they argued. No one always agreed on everything. They argued about cooking. Peeta liked to measure things and Katniss just threw things into the pot. He couldn't understand how she cooked without a recipe. He fervently maintained there had to have been a recipe at some point in time. Katniss told him there wasn't. They argued over the laundry, what was considered colored clothing, and what was considered dark. Katniss threw everything together that wasn't white, while Peeta made four piles: white, dark, colored, and light colors.
She may or may not have thrown one of his white shirts one time in the dark clothing when annoyed by his meticulous piles. But even when they didn't agree, Peeta never hurt her feelings, unlike Gale who was never remorseful of the stuff he threw at her when he was angry. Peeta walked away when he was upset. When he later calmed down, he'd apologize to her, even when he did nothing wrong. It made Katniss learn to listen to him.
Peeta chose his words carefully. He never spoke out of turn. Every word meant something to him. So him saying, that reading to her was one of his favorite things was significant.
Her cheeks grew warm.
"You alright?" His warm blue eyes stared at her with concern.
Having been caught staring at him, Katniss nearly fell out of the chair. "I have to get some water. You want some." Katniss ran, but a seed was planted in her heart. It was a small little burning ember, one that was only going to grow.
Special thanks to my beta and bestie who edited this twice. I had to do a lot of editing and rewrites.
I wanted to thank you all for all of the kind words for this story and its sister story.