FINNICK POV
My love you have my heart
for eternity
and if i die in that arena
my last thought it would be of your lips*
I felt the ladder slip from my fingertips. With a sharp blow to my head I fell into the water, helpless and unarmed. I was dead. In the darkness I felt the mutts' claws penetrate my skin. "Katniss!" I screamed. I wasn't pleading for help, but for mercy. I heard more growls. Perhaps they were fighting for my flesh, as one of them dragged me away, I screamed again "Katniss!". Annie, I love you, I'm sorry.
A loud boom sent me flying away from the beasts, the sharp pain in my head and the hissing in my ears, only allowed me to think that this torture wasn't going to end yet.
"Get up! help him, Castor!" I heard a voice command. More grunting and fighting noises "we have to find a way out!" that voice shouted.
"Finnick! Wake up" another voice shook me. The world was spinning. I tried to focus my vision around me.
"Quick! There are too many of them" it was that voice again. A woman. I knew her.
"This way, Leila."
My lungs were burning and my mind was slowly beginning to clear. The pain was unbearable, but I didn't care. All I needed was to be conscious, to hold on to reality. The pressure in my chest eased and, with effort, I managed to open my eyes.
My vision was still blurry, but an imposing shadow loomed in front of me. At first, I thought it was a dream, but the sound of rapid footsteps, the quickening rhythm of breaths that were not my own, made me realize that I was being carried.
I looked around, trying to focus on what was going on. I didn't know if we were out. I was conscious now, but my body was still not fully responsive.
Suddenly, the sound of grunting echoed through the air again. A shudder ran down my back. I clung to what I could, to the image of Annie.
I looked back, searching for Leila. I saw her. She was fighting fiercely with one of the mutts, the edge of her knife glinting in the dim light filtering through the surroundings. The scene was chaotic: water from the sewer system rose with every blow, grunts mingled with the echoes of the explosion still echoing in the distance. "Put me down," I muttered to Castor. With my body still reeling I prepared to engage in combat. My trident. I had lost it, I had nothing to defend myself with.
"Leila!" I shouted with what little strength I had left.
"They're following us, Finnick!" she shouted, and at that moment I knew there was no time to lose. We were trapped, but we weren't dead yet.
"'Castor! Give me a weapon!" I blurted out, desperate. I needed to do something. We couldn't go on like this. The mutts were far away, but I knew more would come, that we weren't safe yet.
Castor looked at me, almost without hesitation. He unsheathed a knife and threw it at me, barely managing to catch it in my hands. Adrenaline gave me the strength to grab it.
"Come on, we don't have time!" shouted Castor at me, and immediately began to run, leading us through the dank, narrow sewers.
Leila, now free of the nearest mutts, quickly joined us. But, as we ran, the sound of heavy footsteps and distant noises reached us once again. We knew more mutts were approaching.
"This way!" shouted Castor, pointing to a dark entrance, barely visible among the shadows and rock walls. The gate, to my horror, would not lead us to the surface but rather deeper into the maze of sewers "I can't get it open "Castor said in a choked voice trying to turn the star-shaped handle. Leila and I immediately joined him to try to open it, even with the strength of the three of us, we barely managed to move a centimeter.
"hush" whispered Leila. Katniss . The damn beasts were getting closer. "I'll stop them, as soon as you manage to open it, get in without hesitation" Castor and I rushed to use all our strength pushing the handle. There was no chance of us getting out alive if they caught up with us.
The instant we managed to open the door, three mutts appeared lunging at Leila. Castor and I immediately went into action fighting.
Leila cutting off the head of the mutt above me, pushed me "get in there" But the truth was that although we were not yet surrounded, those who were already here were blocking us from entering the gate without being followed or decapitated in the attempt. "go away Finnick! you are in no condition to fight" Leila repeated again. I knew that more than help, I was a burden for Leila and Castor, my head was still throbbing and my movements were slow and clumsy.
Castor with his sniper rifle started to open a path for us until we got closer to the entrance of the tunnel. Taking my chance I started to descend not knowing what was waiting for me under my feet. "NO!" I heard Leila's piercing scream. She was going to run in Castor's direction. But it was already too late. With one bite he was decapitated.
"Leila NOO!" I caught her by the feet and dragged her with me, making her fall down in one sharp blow. Using strength I didn't know I had left I pulled the inside handle blocking the lizardmen's access. We were safe, at least for now. "Leila" I whispered looking for her in the darkness.
"I was too slow, I was too slow" I heard her sobbing.
"hush" I tried to approach her to calm her down but she jumped away.
"no, please"
"don't blame yourself, there was nothing you could do," I mumbled. "If you want to find a culprit, then here I am. You and Castor shouldn't have risked your lives for me."
"don't say that. Maggs wouldn't have forgiven me for letting you die and not to think about Johanna" she whispered between sobs. In the midst of this horrifying situation her words made me laugh, I supposed it was because I was in shock but this brief mirth was gone as quickly as it came. As a pang of searing pain crossed my skin "You are hurt. Let me see" With a small flashlight, which she pulled out of her pocket, she inspected my wounds. The claws of the lizard mutts had pierced my chest to my right shoulder, the wounds were not deep enough to kill me but deep enough to bleed me out slowly, if I did not find a way to stitch the wounds.
"Tell me you have a thread and needle?" I tried to joke. She denied pulling out of her pocket another small device that I recognized immediately "no, no, you're nuts" I trailed off. She was still holding the small laser that allowed us to burn certain surfaces. Everyone in the squad dismissed taking it, considering it of little use unless we didn't have a can opener nearby, the laser was of no use as a weapon only as a mere gadget.
"Unless we find medical help in the next few hours you have no choice, Finnick. Look around you. If I don't 'heal' your wounds they're going to get infected and you'll die even if we get out of here."
"Fuck! Give me the flashlight" I finished tearing apart what was left of the top of my jumpsuit "make it quick, will ya?" I took a deep breath as I felt the motherfucking thing burn my skin. I bit my cheeks to keep from screaming in pain. I closed my eyes concentrating on my salve. Annie. Annie smiling at me with the sunset behind her.
*I will always love you
like the ocean loves the shoreline
"I think I've finished," Leila sentenced after what seemed like hours. "We have to keep going. Do you have an idea which direction to go?" With my body still in living flames, I stood upright and pondered which way to go.
"that direction" I pointed to my left. "I think we were in the other direction when the lizards appeared," she nodded and led the way. Darkness immediately enveloped us, and the dense air became even each step, the groundwater seemed to encroach further into the passage, the dirty, stagnant water reaching our knees. Leila shuddered every time a rat brushed past us.
We glimpsed a faint light in the distance, we looked at each other smiling. Perhaps it was naive of us to think so, but that light meant that not far away there was a way out. When we reached the place, hope left us immediately. In front of us we not only had the same pipes, but they were divided into multiple passages. Neither she nor I had any idea which way to choose, we would die like rats in a maze.
"We have to choose a passage"
"go ahead, I'll let you choose it"
"We can follow the rats, they must be going somewhere" Leila trembled slightly.
"no, they are all over the place and how do we know if they haven't been modified"
"Then you choose" she wrinkled her brow.
"let's try this way, if we don't find anything in half a mile we'll turn back and choose another one"
"There's no other solution" I sighed resignedly "it's going to take us days to explore this damn place".
Three failed attempts and now we were on our fourth. I couldn't tell how many hours had passed or if it was day or night, there was no chance to stop and rest, the dirty water surrounded us. I was exhausted and I didn't know how long Leila and I could continue at this pace.
A strong stench of rottenness filled my nose producing a gag. "No" I heard Leila's faint whimper. She caught a rat, stabbed it open in two and threw it at me. " rub its blood fast!" she caught another rat and repeated the same thing only this time she was rubbing its blood.
"What's wrong?" I asked in obedience.
"it's a mutt, it can't be far. Get ready" she whispered and pulled the spear out of her back.
"do you know which one it is? have you faced it yet?" I whispered. She nodded.
"Fast, strong, blind but with a hyper-developed sense of smell. If there's more than one we don't stand a chance in combat" I remembered everything Leila explained to us about this type of mutant. Shouts and gun noises behind us forced us to continue in the opposite direction. If this passageway led us nowhere we were finished.
We moved as fast as we could without making any noise as we dragged our feet in the water. however it was not enough, the screams were getting closer and closer and the bullet shots even more. Suddenly, the corridor became even darker. The light that was guiding us was suddenly extinguished, leaving only gloom and uncertainty.
My eyes adjusted to the darkness, but the lack of vision left me disoriented. The echo of Leila's footsteps faded quickly. I looked around, but could only hear the faint whisper of water flowing through the tunnel.
I heard a noise behind me, something that was not the water, not the wind. The mutt. I felt its presence before I saw it, the air around me charged with its threat.
Unable to see, I was forced to do the only thing that made sense: move. But as soon as I took a step, the sound of rapid, heavy breathing reached me. The mutt was not far away, and now I had the feeling that it was stalking me, so close that it could leap at any moment.
In a flash of desperation, I tried to listen for Leila, but the sound of the water and the mutt enveloped us. At that instant, a strange noise, like the rustling of wires, cut through the silence. The light flickered and went out completely. I could no longer see anything.
Sweat drenched my skin, and my breathing became more erratic. I screamed silently to myself, frustrated that I couldn't control my body.
Chaos ensued. As I turned around looking for any sign of Leila, the feeling that we had become separated grew stronger. Suddenly, the figure of a Peacekeeper appeared in front of me, or rather collided with me.
The mutt, sensing the change in the atmosphere, lunged forward. I took the moment of confusion to run in the opposite direction. The only option was to keep moving.
Everything went out of control in a couple of seconds. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear anything but the roar of the mutt and the echo of footsteps that I wouldn't know whose they were. The exit seemed farther away, but the worst thing was that separation was inevitable. Unable to stop, an impulse made me turn right, towards the only exit the passage offered me.
Surprisingly, the lights went up just in time for one of them to pounce on me. I instinctively jumped into the water, the screams of the peacekeeper behind me were silenced only a few seconds later by the grunts and sounds of flesh sloughing off its bones.
As a cruel irony of fate, there I saw what both Leila and I were looking for. Just a few feet away was the metal staircase leading to an exit. At the base of it was another peacekeeper clinging to it, immobile while one of those beasts sniffed him. He was also covered in blood.
I crawled through the water as quietly as humanly possible, clenched my knife and slowly stood upright. I just had to move slowly and take him by surprise but like an idiot I forgot the mutt behind me. Apparently he had already finished his dinner. I felt its breath on the back of my neck, I held my breath. The other beast had decided to leave the peacekeeper alive and come in my direction.
At that moment I saw Leila appear in the opposite direction. Closer to the peacekeeper than to me. We exchanged glances and I smiled at her. At least, she could take the chance and get out alive. She looked at me intently without any emotion and then looked at the peacekeeper on the stairs. I doubted he was going to attack her, his skin was on the line.
Maybe I could just attack them, maybe that would give them both time to escape. I clenched the knife even tighter in my hand. I closed my eyes, searching Annie's for one last time.
*in gentle wakes
in violent waves
in rising tides
"AHHHH!" cried the peacekeeper in pain, falling off the ladder. His groin was pierced by a spear. The mutt immediately turned in his direction ramming him as he crawled away fleeing.
"Finnick!" Leila snapped me out of my stupor. She had reached for the handle opening without delay. I ran reaching for Leila's hand, helping me climb faster. We hurried to close the hatch. Horrified, we watched as the mutts were pounding hard to get in. Without thinking or asking which direction to go we ran. Leila was out of weapons and we only had the knife Castor gave me, which against those mutts I doubted it would do any harm.
We were still in the sewage system just one level from the surface, we just needed a bit of luck, one last way out to be on the surface. But luck was never on our side.
A small rock hit my shoulder making me hiss in pain. Leila turned to see me totally shaken. "we have to run"
"I don't think they are following us anymore" I said, catching my breath "do you hear anything?" she denied. Leila was shaking from head to toe. "maybe we can stop for a moment, take a rest".
"No, we can't. Come on Finnick, they're going to come any minute" she begged. I took a moment to look at her carefully. That same terrified expression when she arrived at the camp with Peeta. She had resisted in those moments not to break down but everything we had been through was taking its toll, I knew that expression, and I knew Leila was on the verge of mental collapse.
"you're right, we should keep going" as we moved forward more small rocks began to fall on us.
More time passed and my body was aching to stop. I gasped in surprise "Leila look! tell me it's not an illusion" In the background in the distance in a round halo sunlight was pouring into this rotten place.
"the sun" we smiled at each other weeping with joy. Suddenly a rumbling behind us made us turn around. Huge chunks of concrete began to break off the roof "run!"
I ran with all my might, the sunlight in the distance was the only hope that kept me moving. The noise behind us, the clatter of falling debris, was fast approaching.
"Faster!" Leila shouted to me, as I struggled to keep up. The dust was blinding us, but the exit was so close. I couldn't stop.
Suddenly, the roof collapsed. Huge chunks of concrete fell between us. I screamed as one of the blocks fell right in front of Leila, forcing her to jump to the side.
"Watch out!" I barely managed to shout before another chunk of concrete, bigger than the first, fell directly on top of me. I tried to dodge it, but I was too slow. The blow reached me and the pressure crushed me.
The salty smell of the sea filled my lungs. The sunset breeze made Annie's brown hair dance; she was walking absentmindedly on the beach absorbed in the horizon while eating an orange.
"You know, Annie?" my voice came out softly, almost as if I didn't want to interrupt the serenity of that moment. "I never get tired of this view."
She smiled, looking out at the sea for a second before answering. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"It is," I said without taking my eyes off her.
"Do you want some, it's pretty sweet" she offered.
"I doubt sweeter than your lips" she looked down shyly blushing.
"Can I give you a kiss?" I smiled and nodded. She was the only one asking for permission and the one I hoped wouldn't do it. Her cherry lips gently touched mine.
My arm wrapped tighter around her, feeling the softness of her body next to mine. "Being here with you...it makes me forget everything else," I said softly. My words were a whisper, but I knew she felt them, that she understood what I was trying to say.
Her breathing became deeper, calmer. "That's all I want too," she replied, her words almost choked in my chest.
I cupped her face with both hands, fingers brushing her cheeks, and stared into her eyes. "I'll stay with you, Annie. Wherever it is, it will always...it will always be with you."
The pain was excruciating. My vision was blurred, but I could still breathe.
"Finnick..." Leila's voice came distorted to my ears. I tried to move, but I couldn't. Pain was shooting through me, but I was alive. At least I thought I was.
Leila was there, her face pale and terrified. "Don't stop..." I said, though my words were barely a whisper.
"Don't talk nonsense, I'm going to get you out" she said with effort as she tried to lift the concrete crushing part of my body. I felt the pressure release from my trapped leg. "Finnick" Leila moaned "try to get out, I can't hold it for long" I barely turned my body screaming in pain but releasing it from the pressure. However, my arm was trapped. Leila dropped the block again
"I think he's stuck in another block" I groaned. Leila reached around me looking to lift him up to no avail. "Leila, listen to me. Don't wear yourself out. You have to get out of here."
"What are you saying? I'm not going to leave you, the exit is only a few steps away."
"Even if you manage to free my arm, I don't think I can move" tears filled her eyes "I don't need to see it to know that my leg is in pieces, and I think I have more than one broken rib and who knows if something else...don't cry, go out, get help. I'll wait here" I lied. I was sure my injuries would kill me. "Go now, the sun is setting, it's the best time to go out and hide."
"no, I'll wait with you," she sobbed.
"to death?" I laughed quietly "think of Milly, she's waiting for you and not to mention Haymitch, you're the best thing that's happened to him in a long time".
"What about Annie?" she cried back.
"tell her" she covered my mouth
"don't tell me. You have to tell her yourself" she held back a sob "Finnick, she's pregnant. You can't abandon her now" I wanted to laugh, Leila would say anything to keep me alive.
The minutes passed and the sunlight was fading, until we were left in almost complete darkness. The rats soon appeared again, she was pushing them away from my body but she couldn't go on like that, there were more and more of them.
Leila finally heard me and started her way to the exit. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her climb the metal staircase and force the handle open, I only saw her head disappear outside for a few minutes, then she left it open and descended again.
"What are you doing? what did you see outside?" I said with effort.
"I think it's safe to go outside, it's an alley with dumpsters. I doubt there are people passing by at this hour."
"Then what are you doing? Get out!" Leila walked over to my body and looked at my wounds. Cutting off part of her pants with my knife, she made two strips one smaller than the other.
"your leg is fractured though with no visible bone, I guess that's a good thing" she said more to herself than to me. "And no open wounds on your chest or abdomen, maybe with a little luck you won't have any internal injuries either."
"Are you memorizing what you're going to tell the doctors?" I tried to joke but she looked at me without any emotion and stood over tying tightly below the elbow of my trapped arm. That's when I understood her intention
"No!" I pleaded jerking to get her off me but every movement was a stab through me. She shoved the small piece of cloth into my mouth.
"hushh, don't make a noise or they might hear you outside. I'm sorry, I really am but I don't see any other solution and I don't plan to leave you here" I felt the edge of the knife pierce my skin.
"Will you be back soon?" asked Annie, stroking my hair. I was lying on her lap.
"It will only be a few days" I reassured her
"Do you think we'll ever see it again?" I understood what she meant, she always asked me that question.
"soon"
"Maggs won't be there, will she?"
"No, my love" I sat up and pulled her into my arms.
A rustle sent a rush throughout my body. My chest rose and fell with difficulty, as if I couldn't find a breath. I tried to move, but my body was heavy, as if something was preventing me from reacting. The pain hit me again, so hard I felt like I was fading again.
"I love you" Annie said, wrapping her arms around my neck as we danced softly to the music.
"I love you for eternity, my sweet Annie" I twirled her around in her pretty wedding dress. She laughed and my ears delighted.
"Finnick, wake up," said a shaky voice. First came the burning, I screamed, and then the smell of burning flesh. "It's almost over. I'm really sorry" I tried to focus my gaze on the voice, but my eyes were foggy, my body convulsing in pain. The capitol, pods, Boggs dying, the lizards, Castor, rats, the mutts, the pipes, Leila. It all came to my mind at once. She removed the piece of cloth from my mouth.
"Leila" I said barely audibly "I'm going to die."
"No, you're not going to die."
"I would crawl just to see Annie one last time but I can't anymore" I sobbed.
"don't say that when we almost made it out of here"
"Leila, I can barely feel my body. I can't move"
"Lean on me" she said dodging my gaze. I knew that look, I've seen it in my mirror. She didn't like to be touched. I denied "I'm fine" she assured me "I can't carry you alone without a little of your cooperation but if I have to do it I will. I have killed two innocents in less than 24 hours and you are not going to be the third, do you understand me?" thick tears poured into her eyes. With my remaining arm I leaned on her to stand up. With every movement I writhed in pain. I avoided looking at my severed arm, I couldn't bear to see that image now.
Walking the few meters that separated us from the exit took forever. I only had my left arm and leg to rely on. And leaning on Leila right on my most affected side only made the task more painful. There was no way I could climb the ladder.
"Get on my back."
"No, not that."
"Before you complain, listen to me. I'm not telling you that I'm going to carry you 100% on my back, you have to help me as best you can. We'll do it slowly, there's no hurry" I obeyed without another word. I didn't know how much strength I had left or how long it was going to take us to reach the surface but one thing was for sure, if I didn't get out of here, neither would she and it wasn't fair.
As I managed to touch the ground on the surface, in an alley surrounded by trash cans and the starless night of the capitol, my eyes misted over with tears. Leila helped me sit up against a wall and checked my 'wounds'.
"What's the plan now commander?"
"we could try to find shelter"
"Do you have any friends here?"
"none and you?"
"not really. They must all be dead" we exchanged glances "what about your stylist?"
"Leo?"
"not him. The one who was fired"
"Tigris?" i nodded "no she must hate me and even if she doesn't hate me i wouldn't know exactly where to find her"
"well that leaves us with no options but to stay here and wait for help to arrive"
"you need a doctor"
"I doubt the capitol hospital would take me in" I joked but Leila looked at me with tears.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't want to do it Finnick but I couldn't leave you there either"
"No, Leila" I automatically wanted to move closer to her but pain burned my whole body as soon as I moved "I'm the one who's sorry for putting you in this whole situation, without me you would have escaped sooner, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have had to do many of the things you did, I owe you my life"
"you don't owe me anything look what I did to you" she points to my right arm
"you said it, it was this or die with the rats. I prefer this, I'm alive" for now at least.
"At what cost, I..." she hugged herself "I just want to go far away from this place".
"I know" she should never have been part of this team. Whatever had pushed her to come, I doubted it would have passed on Haymitch's radar. "hey Leila" try to distract her.
"What?"
"There's something I've always wanted to know and don't take it personally." my throat hurt each time I talked.
"What thing?"
"What was the plan in the arena? You know, who was first on your list, obviating Katniss of course" She blinked in confusion for a few seconds and then looked down "I won't be mad if you say it was me. I'm just curious to know who Snow wanted to disappear first" I laughed silently
"everyone actually but I guess Katniss of course first, Haymitch if he was chosen, Peeta, Chaff, Beete, Cashmere, Gloss, Rubius from district 10"
"wow Haymitch over me?"
"Him and Chaff for loudmouth. You didn't pose a threat, you know, because of Annie" she shrugged. "When I first saw the arena, the only conclusion I could come to was that maybe it was in their best interest for you to win and not me."
"but you still gave us the chase"
"I knew Plutarch was up to something but I didn't know when or how, and I couldn't risk Milly's life by doing nothing and I wasn't sure if he was going to keep his word."
"I see...Maggs was aware?" she nodded.
"she just told me to do the right thing and that it wasn't my fault. I promised her that if it got to a point where it was just you and me, I would lose."
"Did she agree?" I asked her surprised
"Of course not, she just told me not to worry about what I had to do that maybe all this killing was going to end sooner than I thought. At the time I thought she meant trying to stop the games, not the whole conspiracy."
"I wish I had been stronger, maybe she..."
"there was nothing you could do and you know it" a grim silence settled in again.
"You want me to tell you something funny? with the other victors we thought about who would be chosen in the other districts, you were a safe bet and the first one we needed to.."
"kill" she completed barely laughing
"Yep, but we were also worried about who would be chosen between Peeta and Haymitch. I don't think anyone wanted to say it out loud but we were hoping it would be Peeta." Leila frowned
"Haymitch would have been a good ally and Peeta told me they trained together." she defend him.
"ah! don't get me wrong I'm not doubting Haymitch's abilities" I laughed "but don't you realize what it would have been like, Haymitch and Katniss, together in an extreme situation. Haymitch talking a lot and Katniss and her fierce bow" Leila blinked for a second before letting out a giggle
"poor Haymitch"
"oh no, poor who had to mediate between them" we burst into silent laughter but all the joy disappeared when a gag went through Leila's body making her vomit blood. Only when she bent over to vomit I could see that on the lower side of her jumpsuit she had a hole "Leila! you are wounded" she took a look at herself
"I think it was a bullet "she said with difficulty, another gag made her vomit blood again. I stared helplessly in horror at the scene. She lay down in front of me, pale as I had never seen her before and her face cover with sweat.
We looked at each other knowing that neither she nor I had much time left.
"Do you think the others are still alive?" I asked, talking would keep us awake.
"I hope so, Haymitch couldn't bear to lose either of them."
"nor you." I reminded her. In the distance we heard sounds of gunshots and bombs falling, slowly dawn came and with it the anguished cries of the capitol people. How ironic that two of the 'strongest' ones were about to die this way, covered in blood, shit and in the middle of a dumpster.
I had trouble keeping my eyes open and the trembling that started in my hand, spread through my whole body "could you tell Annie that the..."
"no" she struggled to whisper "you have to tell her t..." Leila fainted and didn't wake up anymore.
I closed my eyes and let myself be carried into Annie's warm arms one last time.
*from sinking moons
I will always love you
and though I may recede
I will always always come back to you
*catching fire movie
**poem written by Tyler Kent White