We're back! Thank you endlessly to Mel and Pamela!
XXVII
JASPER
November 12, 1897
Brindisi, Italy
It has been nearly three weeks since Alice came to me, asking for my help, and we have only managed to make it as far as Italy. We have not even begun our sea voyage yet, though I grow to dread the idea more and more as the days grow shorter and darker.
The winter months are hardly the ideal time to travel across the seas.
With our limited resource pool between the two of us, Alice and I have struggled to make it as far as Italy. I should be at the teaching post I've abandoned, making money rather than spending it on a frivolous quest, but for some reason, every time I look at Alice, I cannot bring myself to stop her.
She believes, with so much earnest, that Bella needs our help. Even if her mental faculties are questionable, I cannot deny the sincerity I see in her eyes. In her mind, Alice believes we are doing the right thing.
I am honor bound to help her through the end of her mission, even though I fear that whatever schedule we are meant to be on to save Bella, we will not make it in time.
Though we have had to barter for tickets, and stop several time to earn enough coin to continue our journey, the fact that Alice is unwed and unchaperoned has not yet come up as an issue in our travels. Of course, most have assumed she is my wife, which has brought to mind her haphazard proposal to me.
Could she have truly meant such a thing?
I would be lying if I said I've never thought about her in that way. Though she is seven years my junior, Alice has always conducted herself older than her age. Apart from the tricks she likes to play, Alice is wise beyond her years and much more capable than I've often given her credit for.
Then, of course, there is the fact that she is perhaps the most beautiful woman I've ever met.
My mother married my father when she was seventeen, and they have thus far had a blissful marriage. Alice's proposal was shocking and impetuous, but it was also very Alice, and I find I cannot move my mind from the topic.
Alice and I have found rooms to rent from a local widow. I did not correct her when she assumed Alice and I were married, though I did request a separate room from Alice, telling our hostess that I was inflicted with sleepless nights and did not wish to keep Alice awake with me. Our hostess was sympathetic and directed me to sleep in her late husband's study. I feel guilty for the lie, but know it is the only proper course of action given our circumstances.
There is no proper bed in the study, but I have made a place for myself to sleep amongst his books. Despite the hard floor beneath my back, I am comforted by the scent of parchment and ink.
Whilst we wait in town for our trip to depart, I've been working, tutoring locals while Alice spends her days cleaning houses. It is hard work, but it is helpful to have a little extra money before we set off again.
It is the night before we are finally to set sail for India, and though I am more than ready to keep moving forward, I find I will miss the small familiarities I've managed to find in Italy to my old life in London.
"Jasper?"
I look up from my diary to see Alice by the door of the study. She has a smile on her beautiful face and a twinkle in her eye.
"What is it?" I ask, setting my pen down.
Alice motions toward the window with her head. "Our last night in Italy," she says softly. "I thought we could go out to eat."
It is wasteful and frivolous, and I open my mouth to tell her so, but then I see her hopeful gaze and my shoulders slump.
"Okay," I agree, gently shutting the book in front of me. Alice's smile is breathtaking.
I stand and make my way toward her where she is twirling in her spot, her smile wide and infectious. She reaches for my hand, surprising me, and I let her take it, leading me out of the study and down to the front door. She lets go of me so that we both might dress in our coats before she takes my hand again in hers and tugs me outside.
It is cold, though not nearly as cold as it likely is back in London. Still, it is chilly enough that Alice slips closer to my side, my hand gently tucked between hers.
It is so intimate but I find I don't mind her touch in this way.
"Where shall we eat?" I ask, glancing down at her.
"Hm? Oh I don't mind," she says with a shake of her head. I smile at her as we continue walking.
"Jasper?"
I look back down at her curiously. "Yes?"
"Have you thought more on it?" she asks, her dark gaze lifting to my face. When I frown, she smiles, her shoulder gently nudging me. "Marrying me."
My breathing hitches, and I stop walking. "Alice," I say, my chest tight.
Alice turns her body so she is standing in front of me. My hand is still clasped between hers, and she gently lifts my fingers up, kissing my knuckles. "Jasper, I think it's important that you know even if we hadn't run off to save Bella, I would be asking you this back in London."
That is a surprise. I had thought surely her interest was because of our circumstances.
This changes everything.
"Alice, I am so much older than you," I say, shaking my head.
She huffs with a pout. "Only six years."
"Seven," I correct.
Alice rolls her eyes. "Between October and February we are only six years apart. And I don't care how old you are. You could be one hundred years old and I'd still be interested."
I scowl, which makes her grin. "We cannot just elope," I say, shaking my head. "For one, your family—"
"Jasper," she says, cutting me off. "I have no family." I frown at that and Alice's face drops. "Are you ashamed of me? Am I too beneath you?" she asks, tears welling in her eyes.
I am immediately horrified. "What? No!" I practically shout at her. "Alice, no, it is nothing like that." Even though I know it would be a concern to my mother for me to marry an orphan without any sort of wealth of her own, I don't care about that. "Alice, I know that you have these … feelings for me now, but I do not want you to feel like I have taken advantage of you later. We are both in heightened states, and this is not something that should be taken lightly."
Alice lets out a breath and steps closer to me. We are nearly embracing, we are standing so close.
"Jasper," she says, her fingers tugging on my hand until she brings it up against her chest. It is wildly inappropriate, even if I recognize she is trying to place my palm against her heart. "I am not a child. My mind is not so easily swayed. I have loved you for quite some time, and I think you have loved me too."
There it is, the words that have not yet registered in my own mind, now out in the open. She says them with such confidence and ease, I can scarcely believe it.
"What are you afraid of?" she asks, her voice soft.
I let out a tense breath. "I am afraid I won't be enough for you," I answer, my honesty surprising me.
Alice grins, her chin resting against my chest so that she is looking up at me completely.
"Jasper, you and I were made for each other," she says with conviction in her voice. "How could you ever be anything but perfect for me?"
I blink, taken aback by her words. Alice is so sure whilst I feel as if I am fumbling around in the dark, trying to gather my bearings still.
Alice lets out a gentle breath and presses a kiss to my chest, over my heart, before stepping away from me. "Come on," she murmurs. "Let us eat."
November 20, 1897
The Suez Canal
I am not built for sea travel.
Alice and I have reserved cots in the third-class cabin along with most other passengers, and for the first several days, everything reeked of vomit as a number of travelers struggled to adjust to a moving vessel.
I have never felt so ill in my life.
Alice, who seems to take everything in stride, has struggled far less than I have, which I am grateful for. It has meant that most of my time has been spent on deck, trying to clear my head whilst she has explored and met all manner of people. I feel guilty that I have not been by her side, but I have been physically unable to do so.
It is a horrible, miserable feeling, and I know we have much further to go.
Alice finds me up on deck after breakfast. I am trying desperately to forget the stench of sick that has plagued my nose from our cabin for nearly two weeks now. I did not know anything could be so foul.
"How are you doing?" Alice asks, coming to stand beside me against the ship's railing.
"I think I'd sell my soul to never make this journey again," I tell her dryly.
Alice laughs gently and lets out a breath. "Well," she says slowly. "I have good news and bad news," she says. "Well, actually from my perspective it is good news and better news, but I'll let you be the judge of it."
I turn to her. "What are you saying?" I ask, my mind too tired to keep up with her dizzying speech.
Alice smiles. "I've spoken to the captain. There is an empty room that we could use. All he asks is that we chip in more with the ship's chores to make up the cost."
I twist to her in shock. "What?"
Alice grins. "He was actually quite insistent. I wonder if I charmed him." She winks at me, and I let out a choked sound. She most certainly did charm the captain if he is offering her first-class accommodations at no additional charge.
"What is the other news?" I ask.
"Well, the room is one bed," she says slowly. "Now, you can take it yourself since you are clearly more affected—"
"I will not leave you unprotected with that lot," I hiss, surprised by the vehemence in my own voice.
Alice nods. "I thought you might say that," she agrees. "So, unless you are truly opposed to it, the captain has offered to marry us."
My stomach drops. "What?"
Alice sighs. "Look, Jasper. I don't want to back you into a corner. I would prefer that you consent to marrying me because you do actually love me." She shoots me a look before continuing. "But you aren't well, and we still have such a long journey ahead of us. You need a reprieve, and if the cost of that respite is to accelerate the schedule of our relationship a bit, then I am willing to accept that."
My head is spinning. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think I've been set on the matter for quite some time, but this? Married by a sea captain to get better accommodations?
I can scarcely think of a less romantic scenario.
"Alice," I say, letting out a breath.
Alice's shoulders tense, as if she is bracing for rejection again.
"I'll tell the captain we decline," Alice says, stepping away from me. I can hear the hurt in her voice and I let out a frustrated grunt, reaching for her. I spin her around until she's facing me, and I can see surprise on her face before I bend, capturing her lips with my own.
Her fingers rake up my arms to my shoulders, and she returns the kiss with an enthusiasm that would knock me off my feet if I were not holding onto her.
When we pull apart, she is staring at me with wide-eyed wonder. "Dammit all to hell," I swear, shocking both of us. "Though I would prefer our wedding be a more romantic affair, I see the sense in this." I pause, my hand moving from her arms to cup her cheek. "I do love you, Alice. I think I have for some time."
Her smile is breathtaking. "I know," she murmurs, right before she lifts onto her toes to kiss me again. This time it is much more chaste, and she pulls away, grinning. "Come on," she whispers. "Let's go inform the captain."
I secure her hand in my own, my heart beating wildly. It's not the way I planned any of this going, but somehow the unexpected feels much more honest of my time with Alice.
Our marriage might be starting due to frankly strange circumstances, but I cannot deny the gut feeling I have that our lives together will be filled with the unexpected and wonderful.
Just like Alice.
