Chapter 2

It had been a few weeks since the attack and Santana was back at work. She would get regular visits from Alex and Benson. The two usually came together and if Santana didn't already know, she would have assumed that they were together. She let it go though. She was getting passed it. She was a survivor. She refused to be called a victim. She knew that she was strong. This was just going to make her stronger.

She thought about the night that she spent with Berry. It hadn't been all that bad, but she didn't want to repeat it. How she managed to keep the facts of the attack from her was a miracle in itself, but she knew that if Rachel dug enough, she'd find out. For now, she wasn't pushing and for that, Santana was grateful. She little powerhouse still demanded that Santana come see her on Mondays because they were her day off. She honestly didn't have a choice. If she didn't go to Berry's condo, the petite singer would just show up on her doorstep at the loft.

She sighed as she looked over the notes for a case she was working on. It was a particularly nasty one, but it seemed like it would be easy enough to prosecute. They had so much damning evidence that it would take an archangel to free the man. And, God-willing, He wouldn't send one to help. She was glad that she learned to detach a little with each case. She didn't see the victims as people, but evidence. The people she went after were monsters. The victims were only human when they were on the stand telling their stories. She had to do this or she would have quit years ago. But, now it was different. She was humanizing them all. She couldn't help it. She was now like they were.

She looked over at the clock and realized that Alex would be in soon to talk to her. She knew that it was a weekly check in and check up. Alex wasn't sure that she should have come back to work so soon, but Santana had to. She needed normal. She needed to take back her power and nailing these assholes to the wall was the way she could do that. Alex relented only because she knew that Barba would let her help the younger ADA. Alex would review her cases and make sure that San wasn't going some place that she shouldn't. San didn't like it, but it got her back to work, so she agreed with Barba's stipulation.

It was nearing five and it was Monday. Alex still hadn't made her way down the hall to her office yet. Maybe, she'd get lucky and she wouldn't come. She knew that it was long shot, but she could hope. Deciding to help herself, she closed the files and grabbed her briefcase. She started packing some files away to work on at home when her office door opened.

"Alex, I just want to go home tonight, please," Santana pleaded without looking up at the figure in the doorway.

"Then just go home," Rachel replied as she eyed her friend.

"Rachel?" San asked she turned to face her office door.

She sat her briefcase down on her desk. She couldn't believe that the petite brunette was standing there. She had no reason to be there. Instead of leaving, Santana moved around and leaned against the front of her desk.

"What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Well, you see me," Santana deadpanned.

"San..."

"What is it that you need, Shortstack?"

"How are you?"

"I am fine."

"Are you?"

"Rachel, leave it alone."

"I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

"You're my friend, San. Why wouldn't I be worried about you? You were attacked."

"I know that, Rachel. I was there, remember? It is a little hard to forget," Santana told her.

"Are you sleeping?"

"Rachel, leave it alone."

"San...I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I can't," Rachel told her.

Santana was about to say something more when there was a knock on her open door. She looked over to see Alex standing there. She dropped her head. She just watched her early evening walk away from her. She just pointed at the couch next to the door. Alex and Rachel both took a seat. She grabbed one of the chairs in front of her desk and turned it around. She sat down gingerly, which she saw was noted by Rachel, and waited for the interogation to begin.

"Santana, do you need more time off?" Alex asksed her.

"No, I am fine. I just want to work. I need to work."

"I am not saying that you don't, San, but if you need the time or to work different cases..."

"Alex, don't do this. Don't take this from me. I've earned it. I am not going to let some bastard that this from me. If anything he's made me want it more. Please don't make me beg," Santana pleaded.

"I am not. I was just talking with Jack. He's worried about you. We...the senior staff...all are worried about San. You're the youngest ADA we have and you've earned it. We just don't want this to..."

"What? Mar my sensiblities? Cause me to question everything in every case? Look at perp and wonder if it was him? Be afraid of everyone that comes in my door? You can't stop that from happening. No one can. I'm fine. I'm coping. I going to that fucking therapist like you wanted. What more do I need to do to prove to you that I can work? Hell, you won't even let me in the courtroom. YOU'RE trying my cases for me, Alex," Santana damn neared growled.

"I know that, San, but it is only because we're worried about you."

"Has Liv found him yet?"

"No, but they got a hit on the DNA to another case. They are getting those records to compare. I'm going to help Liv and team comb through it."

"Then let me work. I can still prep cases and look over evidence without trying the case. I know you don't want me in a courtroom until you think I can be on my own. I'm fine. Let me work. Give me that. Don't let him take that from me, too," Santana whispered towards the end.

"Fine. Keep working the Addams case. You'll second chair. Depending on how that goes, we'll see about letting you out on your own again. And, San, we aren't doing this to punish you. I hope you know that," Alex told her.

"I do. It's just that..."

"I know. Trust me. I've handled enough of these cases in my day. Go home and rest. I'll meet up with you on Wednesday like normal and we'll go over the Addams case. Work on your opening statement and we'll see how things go, okay?"

"Okay," Santana answered as she tried not to slump a little more in her chair noticably.

"Go home and get some sleep."

"I will," San told her.

Alex stood up. She put a hand on San's knee and gave her a weak smile. She gave Rachel a nod and then was gone. As soon as her door shut, Santana felt like she could actually breathe again.

"Come home with me."

"Rachel, I can't. I have things to do. Cases to review, statements to write, evidence to check, and I can't do any of that at your place."

"Eat dinner with me."

"Rachel..."

"I am going to follow you home," Rachel stated.

"Damn it, Rach. Why can't you just let this go? Why do you have to do this? What did I ever do to you? You know, nevermind. Don't answer that."

"Have you told Quinn?" Rachel asked her.

"Why the fuck would I have told Quinn about it? She's at home in Boston. She's happy. She doesn't need this burden."

"No one does, San, but you are carrying it. I am as well because the hospital called me. I can't forget how you looked. I can't sleep wondering what happened that was so bad that you cut yourself off completely. Hell, I don't even know all the details. I just know that you were attacked. I can't help you if you don't want me to, but I thought we were friends. We are the only two left in New York and we've got to look out for each other."

"I'm fine."

"Damn it, Santana. You were attacked after my show. If I hadn't been performing..."

"It would have been someone else," Santana deadpanned.

"But, it wasn't someone else, San. It was you. I can see how it is effecting you, even if you don't. Please. Come home with me."

"Rachel, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Talk to me, San."

"I just want to get out of here."

"Will you come home with me or do you want to go to your place?"

Santana stood. She grabbed her briefcase and looked down at the shorter brunette. She rubbed her face. She knew that Rachel would just follow her and short of a court order and police escort, Rachel wasn't going to leave her alone. She reached over her desk and grabbed a pair of reading glasses. She put them on her face and stood up to her full height with her five inch heels.

"Isn't your condo closer?"

"I think so."

"Then, that'll be fine. I'll stay for dinner. Then, I am taking a cab home."

"We'll see about that, but come on. I'll make you some fajitas. I know how much you like them," Rachel told her.

Santana cocked an eyebrow, but just shook her head in agreement. The grabbed the door and pulled it open. She motioned for Rachel to go first.

"Why are you here? Don't you have a show tonight or something? You're run isn't over yet, is it?"

"No, it isn't, San, but it's Monday. I don't perform on Monday. The stage is dark tonight."

"Oh," San said as they made their way to the elevator.

Once outside, they grabbed a cab and made their way to Rachel's condo. When they got there, San demanded to pay for the cab. It just made Rachel resolve to find a way for Santana to stay. She didn't like the fact that San was alone while she was hurting. She was worried for the Latina, but she knew that Santana wouldn't ask for help. She'd have to keep offering it and hope that San would finally take her up on the offer.

When they got upstairs, Rachel sent her into her room to change and shower if she wanted while she made dinner. Santana knew that Rachel would bring her something she deemed wearable while she was in the shower. All she wanted to do was wash the day off and start again. She knew that she didn't really have that luxury, but she wanted the warm water to help her relax. She figured the Rachel wasn't going to let her go home if she took a shower, so she better get as relaxed as she could. Turning the water on and stripping down, she climbed into Rachel crazy multi-headed shower and let the water sluice over her body.

She didn't hear Rachel come in the bathroom. She was so lost in the warmth and how it felt against her skin that she didn't care about anything else. She knew that Rachel wouldn't care if she used her strawberry scented shampoo. She reached out and grabbed it, pouring a dollop in her hand. She was busy massaging the lather in her hair when she saw the towel and a small pile of clothes on the vanity. She mentally reminded herself to thank Rachel for the attention later, even if it was unwarranted. She knew that Rachel was going to be worried about her until the after the trial. She couldn't help herself. Rachel was a worrier and now that everyone else was gone and they were the only two left in NYC, she worried more.

She waited until the water ran cold before she shut off the shower. She slowly pulled back the door and grabbed the towel first. She was drying herself when she heard Rachel come back into the bathroom. She looked up to see Rachel peaking around the door.

"Dinner's ready," she said quietly.

"I'll be out in a minute."

"San?"

"Yeah?"

"I worry."

"I know."

"I wish you would tell me what happened," Rachel told her.

"I can't talk about it, Berry."

"I want to help you."

"I know."

"Will you let me?" Rachel asked.

Santana could hear the sadness in her voice. She didn't mean to make her sad, but she didn't want to talk about it. She knew that it wasn't healthy to keep it inside, but she figured that if she said anything about it, it would make it more real. She couldn't really remember most of the attack, so she could just pretend she was like mugged or something. She didn't want to think about it and talking would make her think about it.

"Berry..." she started to say.

She didn't notice that she'd loosed her grip on the towel. She wasn't paying attention to what she was actually covering. She was too busy trying to figure out how she was going to dress because it looked like Rachel wasn't going to let her alone anytime soon. And, while they had changed and been naked in front of each other from glee to living together in the loft with Kurt, this was different. She still felt dirty sometimes and she wanted to hide her body from everyone. She had done a good job of hiding at work by wearing a little bit longer skirts or pants suits instead, but this was Rachel. She knew that she wouldn't be able to hide from her forever. But, not having the towel up exposed more than she thought...it exposed the bruises that no one but Alex, Liv and the nurse had seen.

"San..." her voice broke as she stepped further into the bathroom, decorum be damned.

"What?"

"What happened?" Rachel asked her again, locking eyes with her in the mirror.

"I was attacked," San said quickly hoping it would stop the interrogation...again.

"San..."

"What, Berry?"

"San, you don't get bruises like that from a mugging," she replied quietly.

And, that was it. She broke. She didn't know what else to do. She collapsed, but Rachel was there to catch her.

"Rach..."

"Shh, San, I got you," she told her, holding her closer.

"You can't..."

"I won't, San. I promise. I won't tell anyone."

"I swear if you breath one word of this to anyone..."

"Santana, I won't. It's not my story to tell. But, you need to talk to someone, even if it isn't me."

"I can't."

"You won't, you mean," Rachel stated.

"I don't want it to be real, Rach. I can't let it be real. I can't...I don't remember it. I was knocked out."

"That doesn't mean it didn't happen, San. And, maybe, it's a good thing you don't remember, but you still need to talk to someone. Let me help you."

"I..."

"Just let me in, San. I'll be here for you. I'm not going to abandon you. You did nothing wrong."

"I can't sleep..."

"Then, you'll stay here with me. I'll protect you, San. I'll keep the demons at bay. I promise," Rachel told her as she pulled the naked woman closer. "I'll keep you safe, San. I won't let anyone else hurt. I promise."

San couldn't speak. She just let Rachel rock her on the bathroom floor. She didn't know what else to do. But, she managed to finally get out an "okay."