Chapter 2: Decisions, Decisions

With a sad look in all four girls' eyes, Michael isn't so sure what to do. He really doesn't want to join, but to see them sad was unacceptable. The more he looks at them the more he his reminded of his past.

Michael: "… When's the deadline?"

Monika: "Next week."

Michael: "Can you give me until tomorrow to think about it?"

Monika: "Yeah sure."

Michael: "Ok then, I'll give you my answer tomorrow, but I can't guarantee I'll join. I'll say that now."

Monika: "I understand. Thank you for coming anyways. It was nice seeing you again."

Michael: "Yeah … it was nice meeting you all. Goodbye for now." He waves to the girls before leaving.

On his way home Michael thought to himself whether he should join or not. Just the thought of two choices bothers him greatly. The thought of failure lingers in his mind. If he joins them, there is a high possibility of failure. If he doesn't join and they couldn't find someone else to take his place, then the guilt will haunt him.

(Damn it What should I do? Should I join or not? I don't want them to lose their club. Especially when they all look so passionate about it. I shouldn't join. I don't want them getting mixed up with me. No, it's fine. If I join them and they don't like me, they can always just kick me out once they find someone better. When they hear about the rumor then I can be set free. It's only a matter of time until they turn their backs on me.)

While thinking of what to do he made it home. Grabbing his keys, he enters his empty house. His mom still at work. He knows that she won't be back by the time he's asleep. The only time he gets to see his mom is in the mornings, but even then, they rarely speak to each other. Their lives hadn't been the same since his dad was gone. Not wanting to think about him, Michael makes his way straight to his room to drop off his backpack before heading back downstairs to eat dinner.

All he had for dinner was leftovers while he sat at the kitchen table all alone. After eating he cleaned up his mess. (Damn, should I join or not? I still can't decide.) Frustrated that he still hadn't made up his mind, he decided to go back to his room. (No point in thinking about it. Might as well write a poem just in case I do decide to join. Better to be prepared than never at all.) Grabbing his backpack to get some paper and a pen to write. He set himself up to write his first poetry.

However, before he got started, he decided to put on some music. He hoped that it might give him an idea on what to write if he had some inspiration. He grabbed a CD disk and placed it into his CD player. Despite how much technology has advance throughout the ages. Michael thought it would best to appreciate previous techs and to make use out of them before their time truly comes to an end. Not only that, but Michael prefers to have a physical copy of anything. Other than just having a digital copy.

[Come as you are by Nirvana]

After setting things up he got started writing. At first, he struggled a bit when he was writing. He wasn't sure what to write about and spent most of his time staring at a blank piece of paper. After hours had passed, he finally thought of something and wrote what came to mind. When he finished it, he reread it and thought it was ok. He thought about the girls and what their poems would be like and felt a bit worried his would be crap compared to theirs. Before putting it away he decided to make some quick changes before he could really share it.

If he does decide to join. He still wants to put some effort into it and not half ass it like most people would. After going through with it for a third time making changes. He thought to himself that he should write a copy of it on a new piece of paper considering the one he's been using is almost ripped and stained with his constant erasing and rewrites. In the end after he rewrote it on a new piece of paper making it look more clean and neat, he puts it away in his backpack and laid onto his bed lost in thought. Nobody knew how long time passed by, but to him it felt like an eternity. He got off his bed and looked under it, grabbing a large bottle of alcohol and drank out of it.

After taking a shot of it he put the bottle back under his bed and went through his lower drawer. He pulled out a Revolver gun out of his drawer and placed the bullet in before spinning the barrel. He pointed the gun on his head and thought to himself about life. Soon enough he closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.

*Clank*

He puts the gun down away from his head and opens the barrel. (As always, I was one barrel away from the bullet.) He puts the gun back into his drawer and went to his bathroom to take a shower. After showering he looked through his bookcase and pulled out a random Manga volume from it. He went ahead to read a couple of chapters with the CD player still playing in the background before calling it a night. After finishing a couple of chapters, he put away his volume back in its place before turning off his CD player.

[Song Ends]

(How much longer until it's finally over? I just want it too finally be over.) He thinks to himself as he lays back onto his bed. (How long will my past haunt me? I just want it all to end.) He closes his eyes and went to sleep with a small drop of tear running down his face.

Meanwhile at Sayori's house. She can be seen writing in her diary the events that occurred today. She has already written her poem after eating dinner with her parents. With time to spare she decided to write what she thought about today's events.

Sayori: (I wonder what happened to MC that caused him to be this way? He was never like this before. He used to be so nice and helpful, but now a days he's a shell of his former self. Nah, I'm just getting too worried about him. Though the way he looks and sounds is something I should be worried about. Why is he like this? Could it be, because of her? Well, it is nice to finally talk to him again after all these years, so I shouldn't complain too much.)

After being lost in thought for some time she decided it would be best to stop thinking about it and go to her bathroom to shower. When she finishes and heads back to her room, she hears a knock on her door.

"Hang on, I'm not decent!" She quickly puts on her pajamas and answers the door.

Sayori's Dad: "Hey there my little cinnamon roll, can we talk about something for a bit?"

Sayori: "Yeah sure daddy." She lets her dad enter her room, but her dad had trouble making his way to her bed due to the mess in her room.

Sayori's Dad: "You should really clean up your room. I'm afraid that there might be a shark in here."

Sayori: "Ain't none here." They both share a small chuckle before they started their real conversation.

Sayori's Dad: "Sayori I wanted to talk to you about your old friend Michael."

Sayori: "What about MC?"

Sayori's Dad: "How's he doing?"

Sayori: "He's doing alright. Why do you ask?"

Sayori's Dad: "Just thought I ask how he's doing since the …"

Sayori: "Since what?"

Sayori's Dad: "It's nothing, don't worry about it. Just make sure you're there for him, ok?"

Sayori: "Of course!"

Sayori's Dad: "That's my girl. Well, it's almost time for bed. I'll be taking my leave." He gets off her bed and tries his best to walk past her mess. By the time he reached the door. "Oh, one more thing, tomorrow me and your mother will be leaving for a business trip. We won't be back until next week. Do you think you can handle being alone?"

Sayori: "Of course I can! I'm a big girl."

Sayori's Dad: "If you say so. Love you."

Sayori: "Love you too daddy." Her dad leaves, leaving Sayori all alone in her messy room. "Well time for bed." As she gets ready for bed she stood still as an old memory plays in her mind.

?: "You're worthless. Look at you pathetic. Michael doesn't love you, he finds you annoying. Do everyone a favor and just kill yourself."

Sayori: (He does care for me. I just know it and he'll make the right choice.) She turns off her light and cover herself in her blanket. A few minutes later within the darkness. She finally fell asleep.

During the same time in Monika's house. She is seen writing her poem on her personal desk. She would have done it sooner, but she had other things to do. Mainly boys declaring their love to her or some who attempted to but got scared and ran away before saying a simple Hello. Not only that, but she had to deal with school stuff like the Student Council and the School Board.

As a member she had to deal with people she can't get along with. Not only that, but she also had to deal with them arguing or agreeing about this and that. The main reason why she left the Debate Club. She would much rather play around with her friends, rather than arguing. With all that said and done she finally finishes her poem. After she finished it, she stretched her body and went downstairs to get a glass of water. When she got back up after drinking her cool refreshing water, she saw her parents having a conversation. She tried to avoid them as quietly as she could, but both her parents notices her and stops her right on her tracks.

Monika's Father: "Monika, I hear you haven't found a fifth member for your, what was it again, oh yes the Literature Club."

Monika: "Yes father it's true."

Monika's Father: "Then I believe you know what happens next?"

Monika: "Yes, if I don't find a fifth member then I will be forced to go back to the Debate Club."

Monika's Father: "Good, as much as I don't approve of your choices, I am a man of my word. I'll be taking my leave now. I have work to do tomorrow."

Monika: "Rest well." Her father leaves the hallways. "Mother, why do I have to join the Debate Club again?"

Monika's Mother: "Because that's where me and your father were a part of. Joining the Debate Club gave us our careers and we want you to follow in on our footsteps."

Monika: "But …"

Monika's Mother: "No buts! We only allowed you to create the Literature Club to see if your independent enough to make your own choices and to see fit. If you fail, then that proves that the Debate Club was the correct choice. Got it?"

Monika: "Yes mam."

Monika's Mother: "Don't disappoint me more than you already have. You may take your leave. Goodnight Monika."

Monika: "Goodnight mom." Her mother leaves, leaving Monika alone in the halls. She went back to her room and wonders if there is anyone that could join the Literature Club. In order to stop thinking about those negative thoughts she wonders something about Sayori's childhood friend.

(He seems nice just like what Sayori said, but something about him seems off? Michael, I want to know more about you. I wonder what's beneath your dark brown hair. I want to know what your eyes are like. I should ask Sayori, but that would sound weird. I wonder though, why does he cover his face? I know that he's probably the shy type, but to hide his face?)

She turns off the lights and gets into bed. (There are a lot of things I like to ask him, but if he doesn't join what will happen? I just hope he joins. I'm sure the others would like to get to know him as well. Why am I thinking about just him? Why does my heartache? Guess those are some questions I will have to ask eventually.) She falls asleep wondering what will happen in the future. She is scared, but hopeful. What will occur in the Literature Club? Nobody knows until tomorrow.

End of Chapter 2