Chapter 22: Opening up

Michael: "What happened between me and Yuri? What about it?"

Natsuki: "Did something happen between you two?"

Michael: "What do you mean?"

Natsuki: "Ever since the Festival the two of you seemed different? Not only that, but all of a sudden, the two of you are on speaking terms now? Don't get me wrong, I could careless, but … whatever."

Michael: (Does she care about Yuri that much to ask?) "Listen nothing happened between me and her. Whatever did happen has already been dealt with and we both made up. There's nothing to …"

Natsuki: "Don't give me that crap! I could tell that something happened even if you two made up! I can't just drop it and forget about it and neither can the both of you!" Michael stood there in silence after her outburst. "Look I'm sorry for asking this all of a sudden. Especially after you told me about your dilemma, but Yuri is … She's a sensitive person, ok?"

Michael: "Then tell me this, why can't you ever admit that you care for her then?"

Natsuki: "Huh!"

Michael: "Why can't you ever be honest with us? Why do you hide away your true feelings?"

Natsuki: "I … I don't do that. I'm just saying cause I don't want any drama to occur in the club. There's nothing for me to hide about."

Michael: "Drama? You're the one causing it. Nothing happened between me and Yuri, so stop pestering me."

Natsuki: "Pestering you! Listen here I have my own problems, but have you ever heard me complain? No!"

Michael: "Then how about you tell me what you feel about Yuri then, about me, about the others! If you hate us, then why show up to the club!?"

Natsuki: "The reason why!? You want to know why I show up!?

Michael: "Yes I do."

Natsuki: "Fine if you want to know so badly to why I show up? It's because I want to get away from home! You want the truth here's the truth! I always consider Yuri my best friend. Even though I never show it I care deep down!"

Michael: "Then why do you hide it then?"

Natsuki: "That's just how I was raised!" She starts having tears running down her face. "Do you think it's easy for me to open up? To admit that there are people I like. That I care for." He remains silent thinking about what he said as Natsuki sniffles.

Michael: "... Sorry."

Natsuki: "For what?"

Michael: "For yelling at you, but you're also wrong about yourself."

Natsuki: *Sniff* "How so?"

Michael: "Yuri told me that whenever you two do get into a fight, you always give her treats as your way of apologizing. To be honest with you, even when you don't show it, you remain strong. I'm actually quite jealous of you. You always say what's on your mind."

Natsuki: "Really? You're jealous of me?" He nods. "... Listen to be honest with you … I'm jealous of you too."

Michael: "You are?"

Natsuki: "Yeah"

Michael: "But why? Look at me. I'm nothing more but a fuck up. I can't even get my act together. What's there to be jealous of?"

Natsuki: "Your inner strength."

Michael: "Huh?"

Natsuki: "Even after everything that happened to you. You stood in front of us and told us about your life despite the pain you were going through. I could relate to your story."

Michael: "How?"

Natsuki: "Can't say. At least not now. S-sorry about what I said. I'll take my leave. See you later."

Michael: (You could relate to me? What do you mean by that?) He watches as Natsuki walks down the street. (Maybe it's me who refuses to open up? To ask for help.) "Natsuki wait." She looks back to him. "Something did happen between me and Yuri. Something unforgivable despite me and her making up."

Natsuki: "What is it?"

Michael: "When we were painting the banners on Saturday for the Festival, me and her almost …" He pauses.

Natsuki: "Almost what?"

Michael: "We … we almost kissed, but I rejected her."

Natsuki: "You did, but why? If the two of you like each other why reject her? I mean look at her. She's …"

Michael: "I rejected her because I'm already in a relationship."

Natsuki: "You're already with someone? How come you never talk about it?"

Michael: "I never wanted talk about it because I know that you and others wouldn't understand."

Natsuki: "Understand about what?"

Michael: "How she shows her love. How she tries to help me."

Natsuki: "What are you talking about?"

Michael: "Never mind it. All you need to know is that I broke Yuri's heart. I was a fool for giving her hope. I broke Yuri's sensitive heart and here I am acting like it was just in the past. I wanted to make things up with her, to fix my mistake, but all I ever felt was guilt, never even attempting to fix it. I knew deep down that I could never make it up to her. Even when we made up, I left a scar on her. Guess I'm no better than my dad."

Natsuki: "Look Michael. We told you that you're nothing like him."

Michael: "But look what I did. I hurt someone I cared for. Even when we just met, I hurt her without knowing anything about what she has gone through. I gave her false hope only to shatter it right in front of her face."

Natsuki: "Just stop! You're nothing like your dad. If you really were like your dad, then you wouldn't have any guilt about anything you did wrong. I don't have any right to say this, but you need to forget about your past. Your dads gone get … forget it. I have no right to say it."

Michael: "Natsuki … are you having problems with your dad as well?"

Natsuki: "Yeah, but it's nothing compared to what you're going through. You have it the worst." He looks at her with concern. "Look eventually you'll have to realize that you're wrong about yourself. I'll see you later." She leaves for home.

Michael: (Natsuki you're wrong about me. I could never confront my past, nor can I change myself. It's too painful just to forget. This is my fate. The chains will always hold me down. The people will always put me down. My path is already chosen. My route is nothing, but Despair.)

The next day after Natsuki and Michael had their talk. Michael felt very guilty to what he said to her. What he spoke was uncalled for and seeing her actually show weakness wasn't something he wanted to see again. Despite how she acted, he felt that she was only trying to help by telling him straight up rather than sugar coating it. He knows that she could've been less harsh about but felt that she couldn't even if she wanted to.

He doesn't know what she's been through at home and wonders what her life at home is like. He still remembers what she told him, that she could relate to him. Even though he had the strength to tell everyone his personal problems, he could never expect Natsuki to do the same. It is for that reason why Natsuki is jealous of him. Being able to open up old wounds to confess his demons.

When he arrived to the club room, he saw everyone doing their own thing. He decided to go to the back of the classroom and take a nap. After some time had passed, he opens his eyes up. When he does, he sees a small bag on top of the desk he's sitting in.

(What's this?) He takes the bag and opens it. He took out a small box carrying a cupcake inside. When he saw it, it was a cat shape cupcake with gold eyes. He immediately looked to his left and saw Natsuki napping underneath the window. He looks back at his cupcake with a small smile as he opens the small box and takes out the cupcake. "Apology accepted."

For the rest of the club meeting everyone gathered up and read their poems together like always. Ending today's club meeting and the end of this week. The following week in the morning everyone saw the date on their calendars and saw that it was almost the day of their fun at the snow. Saturday was coming up and Sayori, Natsuki, and Monika were the most excited for their get together. Michael and Yuri on the other hand were a bit nervous, but secretly excited for them to all hang out in the snow.

Throughout the entire week until Saturday. Michael would talk with each of the girls separately per day. Monday both him and Monika would discuss about each other's hobbies and poetry. Despite Michael being vague about his personal life. Tuesday he would play around with Sayori. However, it was mostly Sayori having the most fun as Michael barely smiled. Wednesday he would read "Parfait Girls" with Natsuki and on Thursday he would finally read with Yuri. During Friday after they all shared poems Monika made her announcement.

Monika: "Okay everyone listen up. Tomorrow is our group hang out. I have everything planned out for tomorrow. First thing we're doing is watch a movie. After that we're going to walk around town and then stop by a secret spot I know, so we can party."

Sayori: "This going to be so much fun. I don't think I'll be able to sleep. What about the rest of you?"

Michael: "What kind of movie are we going to watch?"

Monika: "It's going to be a surprise. Don't worry it's not going to be a romantic movie. That's to be shared for a date."

Michael: "Ok?"

Yuri: "Well I suppose whatever movie you chose would be something that we could all enjoy."

Natsuki: "I hope it has some action!"

Monika: "Don't worry, it'll have everything we could ask for, for a movie. Now then, I hope to see you all up and ready first thing in the morning and by morning, I mean around nine. Any questions?" Everyone shakes their heads. "Great! Today's club meeting will come to an end and I will see you all tomorrow. Take care everyone."

Everyone Else: "Yes mam!" They all begin packing before heading out.

Sayori: "Hey MC are you excited for tomorrow?"

Michael: "I guess?"

Sayori: "You could at least smile."

Michael: "Come on let's head home and rest up for tomorrow."

Sayori: "Well, Ok." The two of them left school grounds after saying their goodbyes. During the walk from school. "Hey MC, how are you feeling?"

Michael: "Fine, why do you ask?"

Sayori: "Just wanted to know how my friend is doing that's all."

Michael: "I see. Thanks for asking, but nothing's changed."

Sayori: "You sure?"

Michael: "Yes, can we please change the subject?"

Sayori: (He's still hurt. I wonder if there's anything I could do to cheer him up? It's best not to ask any further.) "… What do you think the movie is going to be?"

Michael: "Don't know. She only told us that it has nothing to do with romance and it will have everything we would like to see in a movie. Though I do feel like the movie might have some romance, just not a pure romantic story."

Sayori: "Bet it's going to be an awesome movie."

Michael: "Hope so. This is my stop. I'll see tomorrow, ok?"

Sayori: "Sure thing. Bye MC!" She runs of home.

Michael: "Later" He watches as she heads further up the street. *Sigh* (I hope everything will go well tomorrow. I worry too much. I need to forget about it and focus on have fun tomorrow.) He looks at his house. "I should probably go see her. I don't want her thinking I'm cheating or anything. I just hope she isn't too rough on me this time."

End of Chapter 22