Morning, Lovelies!

Thank you endlessly to Mel and Pamela!

Chapter Nine

Edward

I was going to lose my fucking mind if I did not get away from Bella right this very second.

I could feel her gaze on me; those brown eyes, which were impossibly hypnotic, felt like they were burning a hole directly through my leathers.

I felt my jaw tighten and my teeth ground together, my knuckles flexing over the reins. What would she do if I called her out for staring at me right now?

Likely, she'd snap back with some scathing comment that for some perverse reason would only make me want her all the more.

I didn't think I was that into belittlement until I'd met her.

She was wrong, of course, every time she berated me. She had no idea the actual truth of who I was or what I did—or didn't do—but perhaps that was the point. So long as she didn't strike too close to the truth, I could enjoy her vitriol as some perverse foreplay.

Her ire felt like an overture to a play that would, unfortunately, never start. At least, not if I had my way.

My life was complicated and difficult, and having some random human woman bound to me would make everything infinitely harder. It was best for both of us as well as my kingdom that whatever was trying to start between us never finished.

Bella's gaze landed on me again, and I let out a tight breath, shaking my head. I could sense her out of my periphery, but that was enough.

"Emmett," I snarled, kicking my horse into a trot. "I'm going ahead."

Emmett didn't respond as I galloped forward, pushing my horse faster and faster. I wanted to be so physically exhausted that I forgot the feeling of Bella pressed against me.

What I wouldn't give for another fight right now.

Most of the bandits had either died by our hands or else had fled into the woods. It had taken some time to track down the missing horse, but eventually we found her a ways off, grazing just beyond the edge of the forest. We lost half a day over the hunt, which had only worked to further my frustration.

Our path still clung to the cliffside along the bay, though it had widened slightly and we were now passing through wild fields. I pushed ahead, knowing that Emmett was likely not far behind while Jasper would bring Bella along at their own pace.

I had never loathed Jasper more than when I saw him astride his horse, Bella wrapped around his body like a vine. She clung to him out of fear of falling, I knew, but I couldn't shake the jealousy from my mind.

There was a part of me that was snarling to claim her and to let her claim me in return. I burned for the chance.

Eventually, I could feel my horse growing weaker, and I slowed the beast down, rubbing her neck with a gentle apology as we eased to a trot. I hadn't spent much time on horses in the past few years, and I felt guilty for riding her so hard when I clearly didn't need to.

All around me, the sky was quickly falling from bright afternoon blue to varying shades of pinks and orange. We would need to make camp soon.

My fingers twitched as I recalled the tension that had been drawn between Bella and me the previous night. In the dark, the draw between us seemed to magnify, amulets be damned.

I was not looking forward to experiencing that again.

I pulled my horse to a stop and took in a deep breath, letting my eyes shut as I sucked in the salty air from the bay. Up here, the water smelled clean and fresh, not polluted like it did in the city.

"Edward?" My eyes opened and I turned on my mount, acknowledging Emmett as he approached. "Are you well?" he asked, his voice soft.

I sucked in a breath. "No," I said, shaking my head once. "But what else is new?" My voice was dry and Emmett didn't bother to respond. He knew better than anyone the tolls of my life.

"We should make camp," he said after a moment.

I nodded and dismounted from my horse, reaching for the saddlebags to pull out the necessary provisions.

Emmett immediately got to work on building a fire. "She's tougher than she looks," Emmett said, once he'd made a ring of rocks and collected a few loose branches to get a flame going. "Bella, I mean."

I looked up at him and scowled. "She's an urchin," I said, a curious combination of guilt and frustration twisting my stomach as I said the words. I hated that anyone in my kingdom would suffer the way I knew the street urchins did. "Of course she's tough."

Emmett shrugged one beefy shoulder. "Yes, of course she can fight," he agreed. "But there's something about her. Can't you sense it? She's made of stronger stuff."

I looked at Emmett. He was one of the few humans in my guard, one of the only humans I'd ever met who was strong enough to serve. Humans and fae might have similarities on paper, but fae were almost always faster and stronger, and those of us with royal blood had gifts beyond that. Training for the royal guard was challenging to most fae, let alone humans, and it had been nothing short of a miracle when Emmett had managed it. He was the first one to have done so.

If he saw strength in Bella, it was certainly because he himself had a strength that ran far deeper than his muscles.

I turned from him and let out a breath. I didn't want to think about Bella—not yet. Soon she and Jasper would catch up and I would be forced to think about her, but right now I wanted a moment of peace.

"I'm going to go find water," I said quietly.

"There should be a stream not far from here," Emmett said, gesturing to his left. "I saw a delta this morning."

I nodded and gathered a large bladder and strung it across my chest as well as a pot Emmett had stored in his saddlebags.

Making sure I had my weapons, I took off into the rapidly falling dusk.

The plains stretched for miles up here, and despite the tall gently flowing grasses, I was able to locate the stream easily enough. I knelt on the shore, dunking the pot into the water while my mind turned to my responsibilities.

My father had warned me before I left not to shirk my duties, despite the fact that I was now on a quest to quite possibly save my life and in turn the kingdom. I knew exactly what he expected of me, but I had no idea how he thought it would be possible.

He has no idea the toll it takes on me.

At the thought, I let out a breath, rolling my head in a slow circle to try to ease the tension.

I would have to find a way somehow, to do both my duties to my kingdom whilst finding a way to succeed on what could very well be an impossible quest.

I pulled the pot from the stream before dipping the bladder in as well. Once both were filled, I lifted them back up and made for camp.

Bella and Jasper had arrived during my absence, and just seeing her heart-shaped face made a riot of feelings stir in me. Frustration, desire, annoyance, curiosity … I couldn't contain them all and I quickly dropped my gaze so as not to focus on her too hard.

Emmett had got the fire going, so I set the pot over the logs to begin boiling. I dropped the bladder beside the fire ring and stood. Bella's dark eyes were on me, watching my every move.

Heat bloomed in the center of my chest. "Do you hunt?" I asked.

She snorted, and it was such a crude and unexpected sound that I almost laughed. "Not for anything bigger than a rat," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You hunt rats?" Emmett asked, sounding genuinely surprised as he gazed up at her from where he was tending the fire.

"I trap them," Bella clarified. "In case you didn't know, the lower city is infested with them."

My teeth ground together. "Stay here," I bit out.

"No."

I blinked at Bella's response, and I felt both Jasper and Emmett look at her in surprise. "What?"

Bella crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't want to stay put. I'm tired and sore and I almost died today. I'm done taking orders."

What was I supposed to do with that?

"Show me how to hunt," she demanded.

I turned, slack-jawed, toward Emmett and Jasper. Both of them looked uncertain. "My Lady, I can teach you how to hunt if—" Jasper started.

"No," Bella said with a shake of her head. She looked at me. "You can teach me. If you think I'm so fucking useless, then make me useful."

I could think of about a hundred useful things to do with her mouth alone.

I let out a strangled breath and shook my head.

"Fine," I snarled. "But if you die, it is going to be most inconvenient for us."

Bella flipped me a rude gesture with her hands that had Emmett chuckling beside me. I glanced at him, but he wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Come on," I growled, turning back to Bella.

I set my stride wide on purpose, forcing her to nearly run to match pace with me. She did keep up surprisingly well, which only served to agitate me further.

"What would happen if that did happen?"

I turned to her, annoyed and confused. "If what should happen?"

Bella gestured between us. "If one of us should die before we bind?"

Immediately, I stopped walking. There weren't many stories about people who resisted the urge to bind. Most submitted to it immediately.

"Bonded pairs cannot live without the other," I said slowly.

Bella rolled her eyes. "I know the fairytales," she griped. "But we aren't bound. What would happen?"

I had this horrible and inexplicable urge to reach out to her, to silence her by completing the binding. The fear her question produced was so primal, I scarcely recognized it for what it was.

"I would rather not find out," I said finally, but the words lacked the punch I wanted to deliver.

Bella's eyebrows quirked and she tilted her head, gazing up at me. I could feel the world coming to a standstill, feel all of time and magic bend around this single moment we were creating between the two of us. I needed to snap us out of it.

"Come on," I said, forcing my gaze from her. "Keep up with me." It was a useless command seeing how she'd already proven her ability to do so, but I felt myself set an even faster pace as I moved away from her.

"What are we hunting for?" she asked, and I was at least pleased to hear a note of breathlessness in her voice.

"Small game," I told her. "Anything big will be too difficult to take with us and too wasteful to leave behind."

I could feel Bella's silent questions beginning to mount and I glanced at her. Her gaze met mine and she let out a breath. "How do you begin?"

I stopped in my tracks again, making her trip over her own feet before she righted herself to look at me. "Begin?" I asked.

Bella nodded. "What sort of small game is there? How do you find them?"

"Keep asking me questions and you'll scare everything off," I hissed.

Bella's lips pursed into the scowl that I was really starting to enjoy seeing on her face. I spun around from her and took a breath. "There are some birds up here," I said, my voice lowering. "As well as small creatures like rabbits and squirrels." I glanced at her again, but her face was blank. It occurred to me that she may not know these creatures at all. We didn't have them in the city, so there would have been no need for her to learn their names.

I swallowed hard and focused again on the path before us. Bella was a glaring example of failures in my kingdom. She was uneducated, fighting for safety, work, and sometimes her life.

And it was all my fault.

"What's that?" Bella asked, her body halting on the path.

Immediately I stopped walking and focused on what was ahead of us. A small white doe was just off the path ahead, her eyes wide and dark, her fur as bright and pure as moonlight, waiting to see if we posed a threat.

"She's a starling doe," I said softly, turning my head so that I could see Bella's face. Bella looked mesmerized, possibly even frightened.

"A starling doe," she repeated, her voice verging on breathless.

I turned back to the deer. "They were good luck, once upon a time," I told Bella, unsure why I felt suddenly compelled to tell her children's tales. "The white deer come from beyond the Black Mountains," I said, gesturing my head north. We were too deep into the forest to see the distant peaks, but Bella turned her head anyway. "It was said that the starling deer dropped down from the night sky to bless a kingdom in the early days of a new king." I frowned. "The last time anyone had reported seeing a starling deer was my great-grandfather's coronation day."

The starling was mesmerizing as she gazed at us, and I couldn't help wondering what could bring her here now. There was certainly nothing about my kingdom worth blessing right now, though we were in desperate need of any protections or good omens we could get.

The starling blinked, and then like vapor from a boiling kettle, she slipped into the trees and vanished, as if she had never been there at all.

I blinked several times, shaking my head to break the enchantment she seemed to have woven over us.

Bella looked just as dazed as I felt when I glanced at her.

"I've never heard of a starling," she said, her voice returning to its normal volume and tone. It was almost a relief to hear the usual bitterness I'd grown accustomed to from her.

"No, well you wouldn't have," I said, shaking my head. "The starlings are symbols of the Veda, blessings on the monarchy. You're no one of importance. Why would our myths matter to you?"

I turned from her and abruptly felt a pinecone bounce off my shoulder. I whipped around to look at Bella, whose face was pinched in her anger.

"You are insufferable," she seethed.

I smirked. "In that we are well matched."

Bella's nostrils flared, and I pivoted away from her before I could be tempted to do something reckless.

Like handing my very soul over to her in exchange for a single kiss.

I had to keep reminding myself that that was what was on the line: my soul. If what was happening between the two of us was a mistake or some sort of curse, I could irrevocably tie my magic to hers, and with it, the very essence of who I am as a being would belong to her. Forever.

It was fine when I thought we were meant to bond, but now knowing that this connection should be impossible …

"What's that?" Bella's question snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned to see two squirrels running up a tree trunk.

I smiled. "Dinner."

…

Bella didn't have any sort of refined palate, but I had expected her to at least balk at the squirrels. We managed to set a snare that caught us four, and when we brought them back to the campfire, Bella stubbornly insisted on learning how to dress the carcasses, even shedding her bulky gloves to take Emmett's knife between her fingers. I couldn't tell from the look on her face what she thought of the practice.

"The organs are where you find the most nutrition," Emmett explained as he gently cooked them on a hot flat stone over the flames. "It's a different flavor, a bit wilder, I suppose, but when you're in an emergency situation, eating the organs could be the difference between you living and surviving."

Bella looked at him. "Are we in a life or death situation now?"

He glanced at me before answering her. "Well, no, but it'll be good for you to try them anyway. It'll give a sense of what to expect next time."

Bella nodded.

"Okay, this heart is ready, you see that?" Emmett nudged it gently with a stick. "Go ahead and grab that."

Bella pinched the organ between her fingers and slid it onto a leaf she was using as a plate. She let it cool for a moment before she picked it up again, brought it to her nose and frowned. "It doesn't smell bad," she said, glancing at Emmett.

"That's good," he encouraged. "Now give it a try."

Bella looked at him, likely wondering if he was truly trying to help her or if he was just winding her up.

Finally, after a moment, Bella brought the heart to her lips.

We all watched as she chewed, her face utterly unreadable. After a moment, I watched her swallow and nod. "It was … chewy," she decided. "But not terrible."

Emmett grinned. "Good, that's good," he said, sounding encouraging. "Here, try the liver next."

Jasper shook his head and leaned back from the fire, his long body stretching out as he nestled against his pack.

"I think I'd rather die of hunger," he said quietly.

I glanced at him. Fae and humans had a decent amount in common, but almost universally, fae were far more picky in our eating habits.

Both Jasper and I had been in enough survival situations that required us to overcome our pickiness when it came to food, but given the choice, we both avoided certain things.

Emmett was explaining how to cook the organs in different ways while Bella carefully tried each one. By the time she was done, the rest of the animal was fully cooked, and Emmett handed us each our own.

Squirrel was light in color, with a sweet nutty flavor that I found surprisingly tolerable. It was better than rabbit in my opinion, and I happily ate my meal, pleased that my hunger could be properly satiated.

I finished my meal first, and though I felt content with food, my magic rushed to the surface of my skin, seeking its own nourishment.

I felt my leg begin to bounce, and I sucked in a deep breath, reaching for my pack.

"I'll be back," I announced.

Neither Emmett nor Jasper seemed alarmed by my sudden declaration, though I heard Bella ask them where I was going.

I knew neither of them would betray me, so I slipped away, unworried about what they told her.

I stopped a few paces away from the campsite—far enough not to hear them but close enough to be back at camp in less than a minute should the need arise. I pulled my pack off my shoulder and reached into the depths, pulling out my grandfather's pipe. My hands were starting to shake and I let out a soft swear as I set the pipe on a rock beside me. I dove back into my bag and pulled out a blade, tossing it to the ground and scowling when I couldn't locate the vial I was looking for. Where was it?

I felt the panic start to build up in my chest. Had I forgotten it? What if it had broken or gotten lost?

What if—

My fingers closed around the glass and I let out a stuttering breath of relief. It was fine; everything was fine.

I let myself breathe, trying to expel the panic I could still feel making my fingers twitch before I opened my eyes again.

Taking a deep breath, I reached for the knife with one hand while my other hand pulled a flintstone from my pocket. I had to be quick about this. Knowing Bella, she would find a way to slip away from Emmett and Jasper. She absolutely could not know what I was doing.

Her life depended on it.