A/N: Chapter 4! Happy Easter everyone who celebrates. It is not the Easter I had originally planned, but it has given me a moment to write and to read Radiorox's wonderful stories and updates today as well as MAJ8395's!
Crash
Chapter 4: Say You Will
0841 Local
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, VA
"You did what?!"
Harm looked sheepishly at his CO and shrugged. "I drove over to Mac's apartment at oh-three-hundred and told her I wanted to have a baby."
Admiral Chegwidden's eyes narrowed at him. "Were you out of your damned mind?"
Harm chuckled. "She took me up on it, didn't she?"
"Yeah, and look what happened!"
Harm immediately sobered. "Yeah…look what happened…" Thoughts of his little Meghan filled his mind and he had to fight back the tears.
"Dammit, son…that was insensitive of me. I'm sorry." The admiral was obviously contrite, but it took Harm a few more moments to regain his composure.
"Son—"
"No, Admiral, it's okay…I—I know what you meant." And he did; Admiral Chegwidden had been a source of strength for Harm since he'd called AJ that horrible day and brokenly told him about losing Meghan.
"So…" the admiral said after a few more seconds.
"Well, she let me in…"
"Obviously."
Harm did crack a small smile at that. "Not on my first try, though…"
Flashback…
"You want…what?" Mac stood in her doorway, eyes wide with confusion.
"A baby, Mac."
"But—"
"No, Mac, hear me out…"
"Okay…"
Thank goodness—she at least hadn't slammed the door in his face.
Harm nodded. "Thanks, Mac. Look…our deal…I think we should cash it in early."
"Cash it in?" she repeated, still obviously confused.
"Yeah."
"But—"
"No, Mac…listen. Can you really think of a good reason not to have a baby now?" Maybe he was getting a little ahead of himself here; it seemed he was jumping past a few arguments and details at the moment.
"Harm…I don't think you've thought this through," came her hesitant reply.
Harm didn't want to hear those words from her. Of course, he hadn't thought this through, but what did that matter? Harm ignored the little voice deep down inside that told him it did, in fact, matter. "Yes, I have, Mac," he lied.
"But…Harm…today, you…you…"
Harm didn't notice the tears forming in Mac's eyes, nor the heartbreaking confusion in her voice. He could only see that she was obviously on the brink of turning him down. He started babbling out various arguments while she kept shaking her head, each argument bringing him closer and closer to a stunning finale…
"Christ, Mac. You're not getting any younger!"
Harm's eyes bugged out when he realized what he'd just said, but there was no time to backpedal.
Mac slammed the door in his face.
Present Day...
"How in hell do you win so many cases?"
"Sir?"
"An argument like that—it's a wonder you're my top lawyer." The admiral was shaking his head at him, and Harm actually blushed, but then he sat up straighter and puffed out his chest.
"Well, I did eventually win, sir." The admiral rolled his eyes, but then motioned for Harm to continue his story.
Flashback…
Harm stood staring at Mac's door in shock. What had he just done?
He'd insulted her for sure. Hurt her feelings, yes…
Ruined any chance he'd had with her…
Most likely.
Harm frantically tried to think of a way to salvage this. He raised his fist to knock on her door again, but then he thought he'd better have something besides his 'nice' smile to get what he wanted. He turned on his heel and took off down the hall.
Forty minutes later, Harm was back at Mac's door, carrying a bouquet of flowers that he'd bought at an all-night grocery a few blocks away. He also had a note in his hand, a note he'd labored over for the last fifteen minutes. He laid the note and flowers down, knocked on her door, and then went back out to his car to wait.
And wait…
Two hours later, he was still waiting. He didn't know it though; he had fallen asleep after sitting there for about twenty minutes, and it was a knock on his window that startled him awake.
Harm opened his door and unfolded himself from the driver's seat while Mac waited stoically with her arms crossed over her chest. He stretched his muscles and gave her a sheepish grin, which rapidly fell as he looked at her hardening gaze. The two stared at each other for a moment, Harm starting to sweat, until Mac finally sighed.
"Harm, why are you still here?"
"Did you get the flowers, and my—my note?" He shifted back and forth on his feet, his famous flyboy confidence rapidly fleeing.
"I did," Mac answered warily.
"You didn't call," was all Harm could think of to say, and not for the first time he wondered how he could even order food at Ho's Noodle House, much less argue a case in court with brilliant comments like that. Mac rolled her eyes.
"I knew you were out here. I wasn't going to call if you were less than a hundred yards away."
"Then how was I supposed to know you'd gotten my note? And what took you so long? I knocked…"
Mac actually laughed at that. "Harm…I don't answer the door when there's no one on the other side. I didn't see them until I was leaving for a run."
"When was that?" he asked, still a bit indignant at the slowness of her response.
"About twenty minutes ago."
"Oh," was his next brilliant comment. He looked down at his toes for several seconds, then raised his eyes to peer at her through his lashes. "So…what did you, um, think…about…the note, er, the flowers?"
She raised an eyebrow as Harm straightened to look at her directly in the eye. "Well," she started. "The note was…interesting…and the flowers were…stepped on. Sorry."
Harm just stood there dumbly. Interesting? She thought the note was "interesting? What the hell did that mean?! And she stepped on his flowers? What the—"
"It was an accident, Harm. I didn't know they were there when I went out the door."
Likely story, Harm thought to himself.
"It's true, Harm."
Silence reigned for a few more moments until Mac sighed deeply again. "Just come upstairs, Harm."
"Okay."
"You want something to drink?" Mac offered as they moved into her apartment. Harm didn't answer right away; he was mesmerized by the sight of his broken flowers resting in a vase, despite their condition. That was really rather sweet of her, and he was warmed by it. Maybe there was hope for them yet…
"Harm? Drink?" Mac asked again, and he was pulled from his reverie.
"Oh, yeah…coffee would be great. Didn't get much sleep last night."
Mac raised that eyebrow again. "Yeah, tell me about it."
Harm chuckled sheepishly. "Um, sorry about that."
Mac rolled her eyes as she turned toward her kitchen. "Just sit down, Harm."
He did as he was told.
A few minutes later Mac returned with some obviously marine-grade coffee. Harm took it without complaint, though it more than burned on the way down. "Thanks, Mac."
"You're welcome."
The silence was awkward around them, and Harm fervently wished he'd approached this differently at the start of it.
"Well?"
"Well, what, Mac?"
"Harm, you were the one who came over and announced you wanted to have a baby with me."
"Oh yeah, right…"
Mac stood up abruptly from her position on the couch and started to pace. "My god, Harm! Why the hell are you doing this to me? You come here, tell me you want to have a baby, insult me, then write me such a…such a sweet note, and just when I'm about to agree to all of it, you—you…ARRGHHH!" Mac was clearly frustrated while Harm just sat there stunned.
First off, you didn't insult her, he said to himself. She isn't getting any younger…okay, maybe that wasn't exactly a polite thing to say…then she steps on your flowers…and still tried to arrange them nicely…and she says your note was sweet…and then she has the nerve to tell you she was about to agree to all of it…
Wait…
She was about to agree…
To all of it…
Agree to have his baby…OH. MY. GOD…
"So, you'll do it?" Harm interrupted her tirade, and she stopped mid-stride.
"What?"
"You'll have a baby with me?"
Mac blinked at him. "I never said that."
Harm stood up as well and came over to stand a few feet in front of her. "Yes, you did. You said you were going to agree to it."
She shook her head. "No, Harm, I said I was about to agree to it." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. He glared back.
"What's the difference then, Mac?"
"The difference is, Harm, that now I don't think you really mean it. You seem confused as to why you're here."
"That's not true! I'm not confused. I know what I want. I want a baby. With you." He watched Mac's eyes fill with tears again as she bit her lip.
"Why?" She swiped at a tear that had slipped down her cheek. Harm ached to brush the tear aside for her, but he had absolutely no idea how that would be received. They were in unprecedented territory here.
"Come on, Mac…"
"I asked you a question, Harm. Why do you want to have a baby with me?"
"Because…"
"That's not an answer, Harm…and I think you'd better leave."
No! I will NOT leave, Harm thought desperately to himself.
"No, Mac. Not until you hear me out. I want to have a baby with you because…because…"
"Bye, Harm," Mac whipped around and started for her kitchen again.
"Dammit, Mac! Don't walk away. I want to have a baby with you because you're my best friend and I can't imagine having a baby with anyone else!"
Mac turned around to face him once again. So many emotions flitted across her beautiful face. There was anger, confusion, maybe even fear, until finally and unexpectedly, a brilliant smile lit up her entire countenance.
"Mac?"
Mac stepped over to him so they were now toe to toe. "Well, why didn't you just say so?" She wrapped her arms around him and after a moment's hesitation, Harm returned her fierce embrace.
"That's it? That's how you decided to have a baby together? You say some stupid things, give her half-dead flowers, she yells at you, you say more stupid things, and then suddenly she agrees to have your baby?"
"The flowers weren't dead, sir. She stepped on them."
That earned Harm another eyeroll from the admiral. That's what you focus on? was the message AJ's expression was sending.
"Well, then…she agreed to have your baby for reasons unknown—"
"I'd like to think it was my note, sir. It was pretty persuasive and she did say it was sweet."
The admiral snorted. "Right. So, then you worked out the details…"
The memory of that made Harm smile to himself. It was amazing how everything had come together then.
"Yeah…then we worked out the details…"
Flashback…
"For the record, I did say so." Mac lifted her head from his shoulder.
"What?" she asked.
"I did say so. In my note," he said triumphantly.
She smiled indulgently at him. "So you did." She gave him another squeeze and then tugged him toward the couch. "Here, sit down. I'll make some fresh coffee. That stuff isn't fit to drink."
"'Bout time you realized that," he called after her as she headed toward her kitchen.
"I meant for squids," she shouted back, and Harm laughed, his heart light.
Forty minutes later, they had taken their last sips of coffee and last few bites of the waffles Mac had whipped up. For someone who rarely cooked, Mac had a remarkable ability to make waffles and Harm usually tried to finagle them out of her if they found themselves at her place after a run. Today she'd made them without him even asking, and when she brought them out, he was sure his face had been lit up like a kid's at Christmas.
They had spoken of nothing in particular while they ate, but now was the time to move things along. Harm took the mug Mac was still holding and set it on the coffee table next to his before taking her hand.
"We have a few things to discuss here, don't we, Ninja Girl?" he asked softly. She smiled slightly at the old nickname and nodded.
"Yeah, we do, Flyboy."
Harm ran his thumb over the soft skin of her hand. "I suppose we should discuss, uh, how we're going to do this."
"How?" Her huge brown eyes were wide with questions.
"Well…we can, um, do it the um, natural…way…" Harm felt himself blushing furiously.
"Or?"
"Well, there's ways to do this without that kind of…contact…"
"Is that what you want, Harm?" Mac sounded slightly hurt, which sent Harm back into panic mode.
"No…no Mac, not unless you…not unless you want that…I mean, I'm fine with the natural way. It's um, cheaper…"
"So, what you're saying is you're willing to have sex with me to save a buck?"
"NO, Mac! I don't want to have sex with you to save a buck!"
"So, you don't want to have sex with me at all?"
"Yes! I mean, no, Mac…I don't, I mean yes, I'd— "
"Which is it, Harm? Yes or no? Will you have sex with me?"
"What, now?"
Mac pulled her hand out of his grasp and threw her arms up in frustration. "No, Harm. When everyone dies and only you and I are left to repopulate the earth. Or would you rather just keep it sterile then too? You make a deposit and I'll get out the turkey baster?!"
Harm watched Mac who had gotten up and started pacing again. There was fire in her eyes, in her voice, and the thought struck him then that sometimes he got her going like this because she was just so beautiful when she was pissed off. Harm felt the familiar stirring in his groin and, though he wanted nothing more than to grab her and kiss her senseless. However, that would likely cause her to react in a way that would make it impossible for him to ever have children, so he decided to diffuse the situation with some humor.
Harm got up and stepped in front her, wrapping his hands around her shoulders gently as he called her name. "Mac, Mac…that's ridiculous. You don't even own a turkey baster!"
"Then I'll buy one!" she shouted, and Harm couldn't help it anymore. He burst out laughing, and a few seconds later, Mac joined in.
When they calmed again, Harm pulled her into his arms and kissed the crown of her head. "Mac, I want whatever makes you the most comfortable, but I, for one, would love to do this the natural way."
Mac pulled away to look into his eyes. "Are you sure, Harm? I mean, I would…I've always wanted to…"
Harm's jaw dropped at that admission, but before he could say anything or shout with joy, Mac started to backpedal.
"But only if you're comfortable, Harm. We don't have to…if you really don't want to, I mean, I would never force you to…" Mac babbled on and on, not paying attention when Harm called her name once, twice, three times. Finally, he did the only thing he could think of to shut her up. He took her face in between his hands and kissed her.
Mac mumbled something, but then her lips opened completely for him and he slipped his tongue into her warm mouth. Their tongues met and caressed, and Harm knew he'd never tasted anything as decadent as Sarah MacKenzie. He was sure she could sustain him with just the power of her kiss, and he deepened the kiss further. She moaned into his mouth and soon their bodies were aligned so that not even air was between them. She was cinnamon, spice and something uniquely 'Sarah', along with a hint of the maple syrup and strawberries from their breakfast.
When they finally broke for air, Mac was looking up at him in wonder. He brushed a thumb over her now flushed cheek. "Now, Sarah, did that feel like someone who doesn't want to sleep with you?"
Still looking a bit dazed, Mac shook her head, just before she pulled him down for another kiss.
End Chapter 4