Moiraine wakes up but doesn't recognize her surroundings. What did Lanfear do to her?

Moiraine felt like she was floating. It was dark, but she was burning on the inside. She couldn't say for how long – it felt like an eternity. What had happened? Where was she? Was she sleeping? But why wasn't she waking up? Light, thinking felt hard! Why couldn't she remember?

"Moiraine? Can you hear me, Moiraine?"

There! She knew that voice! That voice meant safety. Nothing could happen when she was with that person. All she had to do was open her damn eyes to be with him.

But her eyes refused to obey. Her whole body felt wrong as if she suddenly didn't know how to use it any longer. Why was she still burning?

A cold hand touched hers, and she shivered. Was there someone with her in the dark? But who? And was that person a friend or an enemy?

"She is still not responding."

"Give her time, my lord."

They were talking about her! But who was talking? She knew those voices but couldn't put a name or a face to it. Blood and ashes! When would that burning stop?! And why did her body refuse to wake up? She never had a problem to wake when she wanted it.

"Come back to me, Moiraine."

The Aes Sedai wanted to cry. She was trying! Couldn't they see that she was trying to break through the darkness?! She wanted to wake up!

After that moment, everything turned silent again, leaving Moiraine floating through the darkness alone. Either the people had left her since she wasn't responding, or they had turned quiet. Or was it something else? Was she hallucinating? What if she wasn't sleeping? What if…?

The image of a black-haired woman appeared for a second. She had a mischievous smile on her lips and a dangerous look in her eyes. Who was that? Moiraine felt the woman had something to do with her current situation but couldn't remember. Why couldn't she remember? Light, she needed to wake up!

What was happening around her? What was she missing? There were people who were counting on her and some who…

A wave of love washed over her, warming her cold body slightly. Love. Someone loved her. Someone who wanted her to wake up. But who? Did she love that person, too? Why couldn't she remember that person?

Moiraine wanted to scream. She was tired of that darkness. She was tired of the feeling of floating through nothing. She was tired of not knowing what was happening. When would that end?

Was that woman with the black hair responsible for her condition? Could she undo it? Or would Moiraine need her help to regain her consciousness? Could she summon her somehow? Or maybe contact her? But she didn't know her name. How do you call someone whose name you don't know?

The voices didn't return, but slowly, the darkness started to brighten. Hope filled the Cairhien woman to escape the nightmare for good. And then, she was able to open her eyes.

First, she noticed it was day. She lay in a comfortable, soft bed with a beautiful ceiling. If wanted, the sides could be closed by curtains, but they were tied to the bedposts momentarily.

It was a beautiful bedroom – worthy of a lady – but she didn't recognize it. Wherever she was, she didn't believe she had ever seen that room before.

And then she realized someone held her hand. Surprised, her eyes followed the strong arm to her right side. A man sat in a chair beside the bed, sleeping. His black hair was held back by the hadori around his forehead.

"Lan."

Relief washed over her when she recognized the man from the Borderlands. Lan. Her Warder. The man by her side for twenty years. Smiling, she gently squeezed his hand. He was there!

Suddenly, the Malkieri's eyes flew open, then widened when he saw her. "Moiraine." He sounded like he couldn't believe it.

In the next moment, he was out of the chair, sitting next to her. Lan never let go of her hand while his other fingers moved tenderly over her face. "You're awake."

When he was shocked, then how long had she been gone? The Aes Sedai tried to remember what had happened, but her head hurt like someone tried to split it open. Grimacing, she lifted a hand to the back of her head. What was wrong with her?

"Right. Forgive me. I'll call the Healer."

Surprised, Moiraine watched Lan jumping out of bed and rushing toward the door. The Healer? An image of a young woman with a braid appeared before her eyes. Moiraine remembered how she loved to growl and shoot daggers at Moiraine whenever the woman of the Blue Ajah seemed to open her mouth. And she remembered Lan's feelings for the Wisdom. Nynaeve.

"Healer? Usually, we refer to her as the Wisdom," she sighed, then sat upright. She rubbed her temple. Light, that headache was killing her.

Lan – who was done giving someone orders outside the room – closed the door and returned to her with a furrowed forehead. "Wisdom? Isn't that the term the people of… Andor use when they talk about their Healers?"

"Well, the Two Rivers belong to Andor, so... yes."

"The Two Rivers."

Why was Lan repeating everything she said like he never heard about it before? Confused, Moiraine lifted her eyes, watching the man approaching her with a wary look in his eyes. What was wrong with him?

"Yes. She lived there?"

"Who lived there, Moiraine?"

"What do you mean who… I'm talking about Nynaeve, of course."

The uncrowned king of Malkier was silent for a moment while he sat beside her again. "Nynaeve."

It sounded weird, like he didn't know how to pronounce the name. And there was no emotion when he mentioned the name of the Wisdom. Why wasn't he feeling anything? He loved that woman. Why couldn't she hear the love in his voice?

"Yes. Nynaeve al'Meara. The Wisdom from the Two Rivers."

Finally, Lan raised his eyebrows. What took him so long? It wasn't like they were talking about someone they barely knew. Nynaeve was a pain in Moiraine's ass since they arrived at the Two Rivers.

"The Wisdom from the Two Rivers. You mean the woman who was killed during the Trolloc attack at Bel Tine, right?"

Confused, Moiraine furrowed her forehead. Killed? Yes, at first, they had assumed Nynaeve had been killed since Egwene mentioned a Trolloc had taken her. But soon, they had found out that Nynaeve had survived the attack.

The Aes Sedai shook her head, which she regretted immediately when the pain hit her hard. Cursing inwardly, she grabbed her head with both hands as if that would help against the pain.

"Nynaeve survived. She found us in the woods," she explained through gritted teeth. Blood and ashes! What had happened to her?

Silence answered her, then she heard water splashing. A wet cloth was placed on her forehead. Calmly, Lan pressed it against her skin, brushing a wet lock out of her face. His lips were pressed into a thin line, telling Moiraine that he was thinking about his words.

"What?"

His eyes found hers, and she saw how he took a deep breath. Light! He even wet his lips before he opened his mouth! "Moiraine." When Moiraine heard how soft his voice was, she suddenly wasn't sure she wanted to hear what he had to say. "No one followed us after we left the Two Rivers."

The Aes Sedai's mind went blank. What was she supposed to say? Had she lost her mind? Or was Lan playing a trick on her?

"She found us outside Shadar Lagoth."

"I would never get you anywhere near that cursed city."

"You didn't have a choice. The Trollocs were after the kids, and I was injured. If you hadn't-"

"Kids? What are you talking about, Moiraine?"

Frustrated, the Cairhien woman pushed his hand away and took the cloth down. "Are you playing dumb, or do you try to test me?"

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Moiraine. It has been years since we went to the Two Rivers, and your words make no sense to me."

It felt as if the Malkieri had slapped her in the face. Years? It hadn't been years since they went to the Two Rivers. But the confused look on Lan's face told Moiraine that he truly didn't know what she was talking about.

"You don't know who Nynaeve is?"

"I remember that we spoke to a young woman who was their Wisdom, but it was short, and I honestly don't remember her very well. According to Egwene, a Trolloc took her, and she was announced dead."

More memories returned to Moiraine when Lan mentioned Egwene. Another young woman who could channel. She and her friends went with the Aes Sedai and Warder so the Trollocs would follow them and spare the village.

"But you know Egwene."

Lan sighed heavily, then threw a glance at the door like he was hoping for help before he faced her again and nodded. "We both know Egwene. You noticed she could channel, so we took her with us."

"What about the others?" More faces appeared. Three young men – one with the ability to channel. "Perrin and Mat. Rand."

At the last name, the uncrowned king of Malkier raised his eyebrows. Well, he remembered a name after all.

"Rand al'Thor. The Dragon Reborn." Moiraine sighed, relieved. At least, Lan remembered Rand. Maybe she could- "He was also killed at Bel Tine."

An icy chill moved over Moiraine's spine. No. She must have misunderstood Lan. Rand wasn't… he couldn't….

Her vision blurred when new images appeared. The Aes Sedai camp. Logain Ablar. Kerene's death. The White Tower. The secret hut. Siuan. Her exile. The Ways. Machin Shin. Fal Dara. Rand, announcing he was the Dragon. The Eye of the World. Ishamael, stilling her. Tifan's Well. Verin and Adeleas. Three Myrddraals. Cairhien. Lanfear. Siuan, shielding Rand. The return of Saidar. Their escape through the Ways. Rebonding Lan. Their fight at the beach. The fire dragon as a banner over Falme. Their-

"Moiraine." Lan's hand on her cheek pulled the Cairhien woman out of her memories. Light, she felt sick!

"Rand isn't dead. We took him and the others to Fal Dara, and I brought him to the Eye of the World, where he met Ishamael."

"Ishamael? The Forsaken?"

"We just announced him the Dragon Reborn a few days ago in Falme. Now, the world knows about him, and we just have to wait until the Whitecloaks leave the city so we can go, too."

"Moiraine." The Warder took her face in his hands to gain her attention. "Nothing of what you're describing happened. We left the Two Rivers with Egwene and no one else. You took her under your wing and taught her to channel because she didn't want to go to Tar Valon."

Are you going to kill us like you did that ferryman?

Yes, she taught Egwene a few things about the One Power but didn't teach her how to channel properly. She learned that at the White Tower.

Frustrated, Moiraine pushed Lan's hands away, then moved toward the other side of the bed. She had to get out. Her eyes took in the room again, and she finally realized those walls didn't belong to Falme. Wherever she was, she wasn't in Falme anymore.

"This isn't Falme."

"Of course not." When she heard Lan's irritated voice, Moiraine noticed she had spoken out loud. "We're in Fal Dara in the Borderlands."

The Aes Sedai looked at her Warder like he had turned into a Trolloc. Fal Dara? Why should they be in Fal Dara? They had left the city months ago!

"No." Again, she shook her head, ignoring the pain that hit her because of the motion. Then she climbed out of bed. "No. This is a dream. I have to wake up."

"Moiraine. Stop." Moiraine heard Lan moving but didn't care. She had to be faster than him. "You're injured."

"I'm not injured. I got poisoned."

As soon as the words left her mouth, the Cairhien woman saw Lanfear's smiling face before her.

Enjoy what's coming for you. All those possibilities what your life could've looked like if you had made a different decision. I wonder what would've happened to you if you never found the Dragon Reborn. Would you be at the White Tower? Or somewhere else?

All that was Lanfear's doing. She had created that place for Moiraine to get her revenge. None of it was true! She just had to wake up.

Her knees gave way as soon as she was out of bed. Cursing, the Aes Sedai tried to get back on her feet but didn't have the strength to do it. Her head was killing her, and her vision blurred again. The floor was cold since she only wore a nightgown. Where were her clothes?

"Light, woman. Can't you just listen to me?"

Lan appeared by her side, pulling her in his strong arms, and Moiraine noticed tears rolling over her cheeks. How could he feel so real when she knew none of it was true? What was happening?

"Let go of me."

The harder the Aes Sedai fought against the Warder, the more he held on to her. Was he even feeling her attempts to free herself?

They were moving until Moiraine felt the soft bed under her again. But this time, Lan crawled into bed with her, holding her while she fought. He didn't say a word. Instead, the man allowed his warm presence and the gentle movements of his hand - rubbing circles on her back - to calm her until she stopped fighting and simply lay there, snuggling up to him and clutching his tunic in her hands. Her head was spinning, and the pain didn't make it any easier. What was right and what was wrong? Was she losing her mind, or did all that belong to Lanfear's plan?

Moiraine couldn't say how long she and Lan lay on the bed. None of them had moved. The pain was still there, though it wasn't as extreme as it had been when she had moved. Maybe if she waited a little bit longer, the pain would go away, and she could think straight again.

At that moment, the door opened. "What happened in here?"

The Cairhien woman lifted her head and regretted it immediately. The pain returned with full force.

"She woke up," Lan explained while carefully placing Moiraine on her back. Obviously, he had felt the stab of pain.

"I'm pretty sure I mentioned not to move her due to her injury. Yet, I find you two in bed. My memory may not be the best, but I'm certain you sat in that chair over there, my lord, when I left the room the last time."

Groaning, Moiraine opened her eyes to look at the intruder. A woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes had entered, wearing the typical clothes of a Wisdom and carrying a bag with her, which she placed on the small table beside the bed. Immediately, the room started to smell like thousands of herbs. Apparently, the Healer had arrived.

"She…." Lan moved out of bed and joined the woman at the table. Moiraine noticed how he lowered his voice. "She isn't doing well."

"I assumed nothing else. It was a hard impact." The woman didn't care about lowering her voice. She stepped closer, checking on Moiraine's eyes.

"Who are you?" The Cairhien woman wanted to know. She tried to block the Healer, but the woman must have been used to complicated patients because she knew how to deal with Moiraine's attempts.

Yet, the intruder turned her head with a questioning eyebrow at Lan. "Memory loss?"

Lan appeared with crossed arms before his chest at the end of the bed. "I'm afraid it's worse than that."

"How so?"

"She remembers events which happened in the past differently. And she believes people who died years ago are still alive."

Angrily, Moiraine grabbed a pillow and threw it at the Malkieri. She didn't like that those two were talking about her like she wasn't there. Of course, the movement wasn't good for the pain, but she didn't care. Sadly, the pillow didn't hit the target. Lan didn't even flinch. But when she tried to grab another one, the Healer stopped her.

"That's enough, my lady. You shouldn't wear yourself out in your condition. It's better to take things easy."

Now, the Cairhien woman wanted to throw a pillow at the other woman. But because the pain was too much, she sank back into the pillows. Blood and ashes! What was wrong with her? "Who are you?"

"My name is Bianca, my lady. I'm the Healer in Fal Dara."

Bianca. The name sounded familiar. Moiraine was sure she never met that woman before in her life. Was it possible Lan had told her about Bianca during their countless visits to the Borderlands?

"Bianca." It didn't help to repeat the name. She still didn't know that woman.

And Bianca noticed it too. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You really don't know who I am, do you?"

The woman of the Blue Ajah threw an evil eye at the woman before she closed her eyes again. "I don't need your help."

"You never do, my lady. But since there is no Aes Sedai around at the moment, you'll have to deal with me. Chew that." The Healer placed a leaf in Moiraine's mouth, then returned to the table. "Since when is she pretending things happened differently in the past?"

"Since she woke up. She recognizes me but talks about people who died years ago like they're still alive."

Growling, Moiraine pulled the leaf out of her mouth. She was done listening to Lan and Bianca. All she needed was a way to wake up. "I'm not losing my mind."

"I told you to chew, my lady," the Healer scolded her. "Put the leaf back where it was. And we know you don't lose your mind. The injury is the reason for your memory loss."

"Injury? What injury? I was poisoned, not injured."

Sighing, Bianca returned, moving her hands over Moiraine's head until the Cairhien woman winced, and a whimper escaped her lips. She felt like the blonde woman had tried to split her head in half. "Does that feel like poison or a head injury?" Bianca nodded when Moiraine grimaced. "You fell off your horse and hit your head badly. But don't worry. Your memory will probably return. Just take it easy the next few days and listen to what I'm saying then you should be fine. Otherwise, there is still the possibility to see an Aes Sedai to deal with your situation." Determined, she took the leaf and placed it back in Moiraine's mouth. "Now, chew."

As if the Cairhien woman would obey so easily. Once the Healer returned to the table, she took the leaf out again and even sat upright, though the pain was terrible. Even Lan gritted his teeth. "I fell from my horse?" Now, she really knew she was dreaming. "I've never fallen off my horse in my entire life. I'm an excellent rider."

"There's a first time for everything, my lady."

Moiraine had enough. She couldn't sit there and listen to all that nonsense. She had to find a way to wake up from that nightmare.

This time, she used the other side to get out of bed. If no one believed her, she would figure out a solution by herself. And that silly pain wouldn't stop her. She could ignore it.

"Moiraine."

Blood and ashes! How had she forgotten about Lan watching her every move? The Malkieri was by her side in an instant, blocking her way.

Quickly, Moiraine changed direction, crawling to the other side – or rather, what she thought was quick.

Lan caught her by grabbing her waist and keeping her from escaping. When the Aes Sedai growled, the Warder joined her in bed, placing his large body behind hers until he was spooning her. His arms were wrapped around her to minimize her movement.

Bianca groaned when she turned around and saw them. "I turn my back on you for a minute and find you two in bed again. She is injured and should rest."

"I'm trying to help here," the Malkieri growled. "She tries to leave the bed, though she isn't strong enough to stand on her feet. And all, because she remembers things differently."

The Healer rolled her eyes in annoyance, then came over and grabbed the Cairhien woman's left hand. Her other hand was already caught by the uncrowned king of Malkier. Bianca had a new leaf, but Moiraine pressed her lips together.

"Open your mouth, my lady."

Moiraine shot daggers at the woman. She didn't want her help. Whatever happened to her, she would find out the truth on her own.

A heavy sigh escaped Bianca's lips. "She is stubborn like a mule. How do you live with her?"

"Help her," Lan growled.

The Aes Sedai freed her hand, then winced. Her rings had been pressed together due to Bianca's grip. Cursing, she moved her fingers to get rid of the pain. Rings? Confused, Moiraine took a closer look at her fingers. Her golden serpent ring sat on her middle finger as expected. But there was another golden one on her ring finger. It was a simple golden ring, nothing more. No symbols, no decorations, nothing.

"What is that?"

"Your hand?" Bianca sounded confused. "Don't tell me you forgot what a hand looks like."

"I know that it's my hand," Moiraine hissed. "I'm talking about the ring."

Silence fell over the room, and the Aes Sedai felt her Warder stiffen. What happened? Had she said something wrong?

"The ring." The Healer sounded like she didn't know what to say. "Do you mean the serpent ring or-?"

"Don't be stupid. I will never forget what the serpent ring means." Moiraine lifted her hand in the air. "What does the other ring mean?"

Bianca's eyes widened. "You forgot about your wedding ring?"

Moiraine's heart stopped for a second. Wedding ring? Clearly, she must have misunderstood the blonde woman. The pain must have affected her hearing. There was no way she got married. It couldn't be!

You forgot about your wedding ring?

Blood and ashes! Where was she?