A toad Hop at a time
Arriving at Grimmauld's place, Hermione headed straight to the basement. In the places she had come to live since the war, each and everyone had a hiding hole, where she would stay unless needed. Whenever someone came to visit she would hide in the basement. Her first ever experience in the basement she realised exactly what Snape was doing here. It was largely expanded with doors to different areas. There was a bedroom, a potions lad, dueling practice area and office.
It took her many months of sleepless nights and research to work out how to take down the ward to each room. The hardest was surprisingly not the lab but the office. When she finally accessed the office she realised why the wards were there. Bookshelf upon bookshelf, line almost every wall the the height of the 8ft tall room. Took larger desks to one corner piled with research and scratch away parchment, clearly her former potions masters writing. A small kitchenette to one side and even more chest piled with ward upon ward.
Hermione sniffed the air as she walked into the room, It was her heaven in the hell of life she believed she created. "I'm here" she spoke out to no one but a bookshelves disillusion spell began to fall and two portraits faced her. "Miss granger, it has been a while. Might I inquire into your current health? I heard McGonagall talking of you burning out your core twice this week alone." Hermione sighed and climbed into a large lounging chair and she faced her former headmaster and potions professor. "Twice?" It was Snape who questioned walking into the frame fully. "I'd just used a lot of magic to ward the restricted section as well as the private restricted section. Nothing uncommon."
Snape began to spit and sputter "NOTHING UNCOMMON, NOTHING! What is wrong with you girl? Are you trying to kill yourself?" Albus stepped in before Snape lost it completely. "Miss granger," he paused in thought. "Hermione, why do you continue to harm yourself in this manner. Things take time and each task doesn't need to be completed the day you begin it." Hermimone growled at the portraits. "You'll never understand, I must do this. It's the only way" Snape felt complete pity for the girl. "Hermione, you honestly don't think I would understand. I killed the love of my life and spent the rest of my time trying to atone for it. When the best thing I could have done was live the life of a good man. Do as many good things as I could and help in any way. I did all of that and still died with grief and anguish in my heart." He paused "When you finally realised we were here and you listened to my whole truth you told me, you should have saved me. But I wasn't worth saving because I had no life to live for, I would have been heavily discriminated against without all Mr Potter's truths. But you could still live, still achieve but you hide yourself away and burn yourself out for a lifetime's task of hiding."
"Miss granger, when was the last time you used your magic and felt joy?" It was now Albus's turn to try to reach the girl. "Albus you know I use my magic everyday, sometimes to the extent of burning myself out. I couldn't live a life without magic. But I don't deserve its gifts." For a smart girl she really had been ruined in this war. "I asked when was the last time you felt joy? You laughed? You smiled? Your eyes lit up in wonder?" Hermione stayed silent; she couldn't remember a time when she felt anything but pain. "You will not forgive yourself until you let others forgive you first. And sometimes there is nothing to forgive but pain you have caused yourself." Hermione smiled, the tiniest, smallest inkling of a smile. Because Snape was in her opinion the smartest wizard she ever met.
With the last comments given to her, she rose and bid farewell. But promised to return before turning and leaving the basement office. She walked into the kitchen of Grimmauld's place to find Harry sat with Fred, George and Ginny. She stayed silent and listened before entering. "Honestly I have lost hope in my Hermione coming back." Harry sounded more dishearten than during the War. It was Fred who spoke next "She will come back but we can only be waiting for her when she is ready. It may take to be one toad hop at a time but she will come back. Because otherwise we would fall apart. By the way mum sent me over meals for the both of you. And the meals for Hermione tomorrow. There is a note, she said she will keep writing until Hermione is ready to read it."
Hermione decided it was time to take a toad hope. "I am ready to read it." Her voice was almost a whisper but she was heard. "Hermione?" Ginny spoke u but Hermione raised her hand to stop her. She walked forward and took the note. She looked at Fred and tears streamed down her face, flashes of the War filled her head and Fred almost crushed by the wall swam to the service. George put his hand on Hermione's free one. "He is real, you saved him. You are safe." The words brought her to and she nodded before heading to the other end of the table with her note.
Dear Sweet Hermione,
I don't know when you will finally read one of these notes but I hope it is someday soon. This is my 232nd note, I have written one everyday since the last time I saw you. I was told you came to the funerals but I never saw you. It hurts my heart I couldn't hold you as you grieved. It is your loss too.
Harry and Ginny have both told me that I should give this up soon but I will not. Because a mother never gives up on her child. And that is what you are. Maybe not by blood but by action. I have lost 2 children and I do not wish to lose another. Please know if you want forgiveness, you already have it because I do not understand what you need forgiveness for.
You tried to save Percy, you held up a whole castle wall to try to save him and when you could hold no more you managed to get Fred out before it killed him too. How you didn't die from that kind of magic I will never know but you tried.
I don't know what more to write because I fear if I write any longer my tears will disfigure the rest of the text.
When you are ready I will be waiting, Always.
Love,
Mum (Molly)
Hermione was a puddle at the end of the kitchen, but no one knew how to approach her. It was unexpected when Kreacher appeared with tissues, a warm cup of tea and some biscuits. "Misses Mud….Mugglewitch, you should breathe." Was all he said before disappearing to everyone else's disbelief. Silence passed for another 10 minutes before Fred and George pushed Harry and Ginny out of the Kitchen. "We got this" as a door was slammed in their face.
"Hermione, would you like to talk?" George asked reproachfully. She shook her head and grabbed another biscuit. "Would you be willing to listen?" It was Fred who questioned her next, Hermione took a few moments and decided she could. She nodded as she set down her tea cup. "So, here is the thing sweetness." George carried on "we wish to express our greatest" "most profoundest" "deeply immense" "Tremendously vast" "Thanks for saving Gred here." Fred continued "I don't know how you did it? But I wouldn't be here to so your oh so pretty" "gorgeous" "Dazzlingly" "Stunning" "Ravishing" "Glorious face or persons"
"So what Freddy boy is trying to get across, is that. If you need anything, and we mean anything." Fred intervenes "Illegal, Illicit, off the book. We would go to the end of the world for you Hermione." Hermione sat dazed she was expecting them to pity her but they were thanking her whilst trying to make her laugh. "I don't deserve it." She muttered. "You're kidding right?" She began to become angry magic flared from the ends of her hair. "You just don't understand."
Fred began to whisper "Hermione, we might never understand. But when you want to talk about it, we will be here. If that's what you need?" He patted George's shoulder and they both left Hermione in the kitchen on her own. She began to breathe heavier and heavier. Another panic attack, she couldn't talk, scream. She couldn't do anything but just as she began to cave, she heard a pop and kreacher was there. Another pop and she was in the basement office. Both Portraits spoke the soothing mantras she began to whisper herself. Since the war these men knew exactly how bad Hermione was broken. This wasn't the first panic attack of the week or the last and they knew that. So did Kreacher.