A/N: EDIT: Went back and added more content to spruce things up. Hope you enjoy~!
Alas, I ran out of time while writing this. Two-parter chapter it is!
You'll get the rest next week; maybe even sooner if I can swing an early update. Looking forward to your reviews! Every bit of feedback makes all the difference!
Now, then; the best way to summarize this chapter would be as follows: Let chaos TAKE the world!
That said...
...can anyone see this chapter? Do let me know! We've got site errors again! New chapters/new stories take forever to show up; half the time they won't appear for HOURS ON END.
Do let me know if you can see this~!
As ever, the fate of this story depends on you, the reader. Your feedback determines the fate of this tale, and many others. I own no references, quotes, memes or themes! They're all tributes to legends far greater than me. I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild world, one word at a time Time and feedback will determine if this remains a story. Simple as that. In other words...its up to YOU, the reader. Do let me know in the comments~!
Once more, hopefully I captured the feeling of a proper RWBY episode from ye olden days. I'll leave that to you, the reader, to determine.
Do tell me what you think! It really does matter! Hope you enjoy the Cooler's Revenge tribute in here. You'll know it when you see it.
In any case, hope you enjoy the chapter~! Last but not least, I don't think you realize quite how bonkers Winter is.
This chapter delves into that; may it make you laugh~!
I certainly did while writing it! Enjoy~!
"What makes you worthy of my son?
"I have a stable job, the Schnee name, and make several thousand lien a year. He would want for nothing."
"And?"
"I am strong and able to defend him against any and all foes."
"What else?"
"I will love him and aggressively cuddle him at every opportunity. He shall be my snuggle-bunny."
"You're...not quite all there, are you?"
"My mother once said I do experience emotions as a normal person should. Nevertheless, I wish to marry your son."
...I can tell. Might have to take that up with Nikos first, though...you've got competition there.
"I would be open to additional and potetnial paramours, so long as they are strong."
"That's fair. How many children do you plan on having?
"Meep."
"Meep is not a number Miss Schnee...
~?
Just a Little Love (Part I)
Every Dog has his day.
Every Mother faces her trials.
Every Father is inevitably tested, sooner or later.
Naruto Uzumaki was no exception to this age old adage, though he wished he were. Twenty years ago, if someone told him he'd be facing down the general of Atlas and the Headmaster of Beacon in single combat, he would've laughed in their face and knocked them right out.
And yet, here he was.
Arms crossed before his chest, gaze steady and chin lifted high, he stood his ground, facing the approaching aircraft head on. A wave of hot air from the bullhead's engines blasted his bangs back, and his coat alongside them. Breaking the old red-on-white garment out of storage had been a good idea after all. It made him look imposing, in a way his orange turtleneck neck, dark trousers, and black boots simply wouldn't.
On a whim, he contemplated busting out his staff and cracking heads, but thought better of it.
As much as he could -and should!- crack some skulls here, he knew better.
The things he did for his family.
His earpiece crackled, briefly distracting him as a familiarly cultured voice emerged. "Say the word and I'll ensure their bullhead has a nasty little accident. They might survive the explosion with aura but certainly not the crash landing; not at this speed. I guarantee it.
Ah, Arthur. So eager to ingratiate himself now that he knew who he was dealing with.
Aways nice dealing with people who understood the Pecking order. That said...
"There's no need."
"Are you certain? Salem would be most pleased...
"She might be, but Juniper wouldn't. We don't need that kinda heat right now."
Rather than retort further, he clicked his tongue and shook his head; good as telling him no without using the words themselves.
Wouldn't do for their guest to overhear now, would it?
Killing them would only cause more problems.
That blasted bullhead had seen him and was picking up speed now, a rapidly growing black speck on the horizon, akin to a raven soaring silhouetted the setting sun. The air seemed to ripple and shift off its glossy hull, suggesting advanced aerodynamics of some sort - or perhaps it was simply well taken care of.
"Jaune, Jaune, Jaune..." he sighed in despair at his wayward son. "You owe me for this...
At the mention of his one and only boy, Winter shifted behind him. Not much, not enough to draw his ire, but she earned his attention all the same. The idea that she might attack him was...honestly amusing, frankly. Jaune had stomped her into the mud and somehow managed to woo her for it, much his son's chagrin.
After the talk they'd just had, he thought she would know better.
She set a hand on the hilt of her saber.
"Don't try it," he smiled, not even deigning to look at her. "Raise a hand against me, and I'll revoke your Jaune privileges."
She squirmed unhappily, but didn't defy him, not after the talk they'd just had. "I wasn't looking at you, sir."
Oho? She wasn't now, was she? "Then where are you looking?"
Winter pointed past.
He looked back to find the Bullhead quite close to him.
Close.
Too close.
And much too fast!
He conjured one of Kurama's giant golden arms to defend himself, or barring that, catch the craft, but there was no need. The squat vessel didn't so much land as it did drop, practically slamming down into the ground in a controlled crash before skidding forward wildly to meet him. Sparks flew forth with a sonorous squeal of sundered steal, leaving dirt and dust trailing behind it in a sullen cloud as it wore itself down into the ground. Against all odds it managed to stay upright...despite the beating the hull took.
Bemused, he retracted the arm.
Two familiar figures disembarked the bullhead with all due haste; he recognized general Ironwood easily enough; not so the man with him.
His cane, however, was another story. Salem had described that at great length to him.
This, then, must be Ozma.
Or was it Ozpin, now?
Semantics!
Much to his annoyance the headmaster led the way, twirling his cane in hand. He looked ready for a fight.
The general, oddly enough, did not.
Alright, time to see if his old silver tongue was still up to the task. And if it wasn't...
.
..
... well, he had been a fugitive once before back in his world. He wasn't above becoming one again, so long as it protected his family. If that meant playing the villain, then so be it.
Facing them down proved a wise choice, they strode up to him and stopped a stone's throw away, clearly afraid to approach.
"Schnee!" Ironwood called out, all but barking Winter's last name. "What are you doing with him!? Come here!"
"Winter will stay where she is."
Winter didn't budge.
James made a pained noise. "Are you betraying us?"
She stared stoically at the ground. "It's not like that, sir...
Not at all, really, but he was in a foul mood; might as well twist the knife.
"She's in love."
Ozma guffawed outright.
James made a strangled noise deep in his throat.
Winter made a strangled noise and glared at him. "Uzumaki!"
"Not with me, no, no no." He wagged a finger at them, reveling in their discomfort. "I'm a one woman man, thank you very much. My son on the other hand...well." shrugging, he planted both hands in his pockets. "You know how kids are."
How many did that make now? Ten? He'd long since lost count.
Jiraiya would be so proud.
Winter looked toward him, and for a moment, just a moment, a sliver of a second, her eyes blazed blue. "If you weren't my future father-in-law, I'd run you through here and now."
A golden brow rose. "Excuse me, future-daughter-in-law?"
She wilted with a whine. "...nevermind."
"Good girl."
Ozpin broke the tableau between them, calling across the way. "Where is Jaune Arc?"
As though he'd simply reveal such! "Arc? I know no such person...
"We know you are related to him."
So much for subtlety, then.
"Do you, now?" he turned a withering gaze upon James, causing the Atlesian to flinch. "And who would be responsible for that misconception, I wonder? Surely not a certain General...unless he wants another mechanical arm that badly?" Turning his head, he ignored the headmaster entirely and adopted a savage, sugary smile, saccharine in its sweetness. "Hello, James. So good to see you again. Why, it feels like we just spoke the other day...
Ironwood blanched. "I had no part in this madness, I assure you."
"Aha!" Naruto clapped his hands, accidentally creating a shockwave that made the three of them wince. "He speaks! And here I was beginning to think you'd gone mute."
If he were one of his men, James would've shot him for such insubordination. Instead, he grit his teeth and took the insult on the chin.
Naruto smirked inwardly. 'That's right, know your place.'
Outwardly, however, he remained the very picture of calm. "Run along now, Winter. The adults are talking."
No need to tell her twice; she took to the air with a frigid wind and fled back toward the city.
There, that was one Schnee-sized-problem problem dealt with for the time being.
But he could hardly ignore the Goliath in the room, now could he?
Room, island, all the same to him really...
Taking a step forward -and entrusting his back to Winter- he crossed both arms before his chest once more. "You must be Ozma."
The Headmaster's keen gaze sharpened "Its Ozpin now, actually."
The blond tapped his foot angrily.
James winced. "Oz, please, don't antagonize him...
"I'll call you Ozma," Naruto hummed breezily, talking over his old comrade. "After all, its so difficult to keep up with all these names of yours. I'm a busy man, and I have children to look after. I'm sure you understand, having been a parent yourself."
Ozma exhaled softly, shoulders slumping. "There's no need to be crass."
Said the immortal man who hopped from body to body like Orochimaru. Wait, maybe that wasn't fair of him. It wasn't as though he chose his hosts. By all accounts he seemed like a benevolent being; though his soul was tinged with pain and regret.
But appearances, as he well knew from a career of deception and intrigue, could be deceiving.
After all, if Ozpin could hypothetically pretend to be someone he wasn't...
...then who else might be lurking out there?
(.0.0.0.)
"ACHOO!"
Professor Peter "Port" doubled over, clutched his gut, and sneezed mightily.
Someway, somehow, somewhere, he felt vaguely insulted.
Blasted Uzumaki!
(.0.0.0.)
Ozma sighed. "Are you quite done being trying to rile me up...?"
Naruto tilted his head. "Whose trying? I'm just honest. Unlike you, with your veiled truths and half-measures." a shit-eating grin split his face. "How did that work out for you and your kids?"
Ozma tensed.
Ironwood inhaled sharply.
There it was, the first blow struck, and a low one at that; his words tore open that old wound and left it exposed to the elements.
Sure enough, the Headmaster of Beacon tensed. His pupils contracted and a muscle jumped in his jaw as his stance shifted a millimeter to the right. He gripped his cane tight, not to lean upon it as before, but rather adopting the loose outline of a fencing stance unknown to him. Green light crackling around his shoulders, the telltale sparks of magic nearly depleted. He didn't raise his weapon completely, not quite, nothing overtly aggressive nor any that could be mistaken for aggression, but enough to warn him all the same.
Would he attack?
He rather hoped he would.
He'd not come here for a fight, but now he found himself almost wanting one, if only to vent his stress.
"Do not," he intone softly, his voice a razor's edge, "Speak ill of my daughters again. This is your first and last warning."
Naruto hummed. "Is that so...?"
Despite what some might think, he didn't hate Ozma. He simply didn't have the measure of him yet. That was, in part, what this little meeting was all about. Well, that and hauling his son's bacon out the fire again. Jaune owed him for that, too.
But no, the reason he'd lingered here this long was twofold.
Salem, he could understand to an extent. He had gained a reasonable grasp of her personality. Through her own faults and the faults of others alike, she'd been betrayed at every conceivable opportunity, lost everyone and everything she'd ever held dear, then gone mad. Bereft of her husband, denied death, and having lost her children, she was overjoyed to find that some small remnant of them yet survived to this day. For someone who had no reason to live, suddenly being given one again utterly floored her and threw her current plans out the window. After carefully vetting her, he was willing to allow her some limited contact with her potential progeny under Juniper's watchful gaze.
Emotions didn't often make sense, but he understood them more than most.
Ozma made considerably less sense.
By all accounts this fellow basically had it all at one point; an undying wife, a loving family, his own version of immortality, not to mention the love and the adoration of an entire kingdom, who worshipped him and said wife as gods. Then, seemingly overnight, he threw it all away.
For what? The Original Gods? Why? What did he owe them after all they'd done?
Moreover, if he disagreed with Salem, why not reason with his wife instead of spirit their children away in the dead of night? And when things came to a fight, his first priority should've been taking said battle away from said brats. Yet he hadn't. He'd made a lot of mistakes and again, for what? He didn't know; it was that lack of knowledge that made him wary; and in wariness, determined to get the measure of him.
Hence being a jerk and riling him up.
If he proved himself to be quick to temper, he'd never see hide nor hair of Jaune or the girls.
Likewise, if he didn't react at all, it proved he was a poor father not to miss his children whatsoever.
Now, then, which will it be...?
Much to his surprise, the Headmaster stabbed his cane into the muck before him, laid both hands upon its hilt and sighed heavily, comporting himself once more.
When next he raised his gaze, his face was carved from stone. "Where is she?"
"Who?"
The Headmaster took a breath to calm himself and stared at him. "The woman you're hiding."
Naruto looked, left, then right, feigning ignorance. "I'm currently hiding a great many girls from you. Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?"
"Salem!"
He whistled innocently, playing the fool. "I'm afraid I don't know who you're talking about."
"Please," James interjected, the rare voice of reason, "We mean her no harm. On the contrary; we know she played a pivotal role in preventing casualties during the Breach."
"What," he snorted, mildly incredulous, "You wanna give her a medal or something? I'm sure she'd just love that."
...if she'd accept one? Honestly yes."
Ozma hissed at him. "James! Now isn't the time for jokes!"
On, the contrary, it was! The thought of Salem's gobsmacked expression upon receiving a medal from the city she once sought to destroy? Well, that nearly caused him to laugh outright.
"Please," Ozma pleaded, "You must listen. If you know of her, of our past, then you know full well how volatile she is. She once laid waste to our kingdom in a fit of temper. The slightest memory could set her off all over again. It is of the utmost importance that she be located and removed from the city at once, lest Vale suffer a repeat of Mountain Glen."
Yeah, fat chance of that. She wasn't going anywhere, not with her descendants, his daughters, running about. You couldn't pry her off them with a crowbar. Not that he was about to try.
"Small chance of that." he coughed into a fist. "She's...occupied at the moment."
"Occupied?"
Naruto didn't answer; because he saw no need; instead, he let him draw his own conclusions.
Ozma went still, pondering his words. "I see. You didn't come alone, then."
"Nope." he smacked his lips aloud, giving no further answer.
He wasn't prepared for the fleeting flicker of hope that passed across the old man's visage. He had the look of a drowning man who'd been through a life vest; a shipwrecked sailor trapped treading water for long now that he'd not ever considered the possibility of rescue.
It was the same look of hope Salem had worn before the girls swarmed her.
As such, it wasn't at all surprising what he said next.
"Just how many children do you have...?"
There was no harm in humoring him, surely. "More than I can count on one hand." he chuckled a little, and couldn't help himself. "Almost more than I can count on two, really."
Ozma swayed in place and leaned against his cane. "Is that so...? May I see them?"
Naruto scowled at him. "No."
Ozma wilted.
"Yes."
Wait, he hadn't said that!
Naruto whipped around to find Vaylin Arc emerging from his very shadow, much to his dismay. He hadn't even noticed. To think, she'd once scorned that jutsu during her training...
How the tables had turned...
Ironwood grunted. "A useful semblance...
It took a fair bit of strength on his part not to snort.
"Sure, lets call it that." Shaking herself free, his daughter stepped up to him, removed her hood, shook her head once to air her hair and adopted a warm smile his way; she was still smiling when she gave him an equally warm hug, forcing him to return it or risk being bowled over outright. "Hello, Father." her lips brushed his his ear, betraying her intentions, "Are we having fun?"
Clever girl. He frowned down at her and drew back. "Where have you been?"
"Places." his older daughter smiled up at him, feigning innocence. "That was fascinating conversation I overheard just now." Peering past him, she turned to regard Ozma with catlike curiosity. "Why didn't you tell me we were descended from royalty?"
Because he hadn't known! How was he to realize Juniper's ancestry ran back this far?!
Moreover, he didn't like the look in her eyes. "Vaylin, no."
"Vaylin, yes." slipping out his grasp with grace, she turned and sketched a curtsy Ozma's way with a smile that would've made Salem herself simmer with pride. "Hello, great grandfather. Its a pleasure to meet you face to face."
Ozma -if he didn't call himself Ozpin these days- practically wobbled in place, lurching like she'd struck him on the spot. "I...well...I suppose the honor is mine-ahem!" coughing into a fist, he rallied as a bemused Ironwood looked on. "I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, miss...?"
"Vaylin." her cheeks dimpled anew. "Vaylin Arc."
"Vaylin, you say?" The old wizard rasped her name like a man dying of thirst. "Salem wanted to name our fifth daughter that...
Did she? That was certainly quite the coincidence...
"Really?" Vaylin tilted her head. "How lovely. Why don't you tell me more about her?"
Ozma dithered, torn between duty and the descendant standing before him. "I...am not certain I should...
Naruto frowned. Since when did his hellion of a daughter play peacekeeper?! That settled it; she was up to something!
.
..
...but what?
Vaylin was usually one for brute force and overwhelming strength, but she could scheme with the best of them when motivated. She was clearly doing so now, but for the life of him, he couldn't tell what her endgame was; nor what that entailed.
Ozma dared a step forward, looking like he wanted to ask something, but centuries of caution prevented him from speaking the words.
Vaylin noticed, watching him like a hawk as she was. "You can approach me if you like. I won't attack."
There it was again, that look of desperate hope in Ozma's eye...and wariness.
That lasted right up until a thoroughly annoyed Ironwood planted a palm in his back and shoved him forward, causing him to stumble and lose hold of his cane as he went. Even then he didn't dare cross the gap. He looked back to his fallen weapon and drew one foot towards it, as though considering retreat...
Vaylin rolled her eyes at such blatant hesitation -hesitation is defeat!- and met him the rest of the way, all but flinging her arms around his neck to embrace him wholeheartedly. The rest, as they say, was history. Like any grandfather greeting his granddaughter, Ozma reacted accordingly. His arms locked around her back, holding fast as his chin came down over her shoulder.
Wait. Were those tears in his eyes? Was he...was the old man actually crying?! He was!
Naruto looked away with a sigh; if only because he couldn't leave it at that.
Vaylin wouldn't let him. Sneaky girl was definitely up to something.
Damnit Jaune.
Life had been so much simpler back in Ansel.
Let your kids see the world, let them make friends, let them create new bonds. What could possibly go wrong?
This.
All of this.
This, and every bit of it!
It would prove to be a long day and a longer night...
(.0.0.0.)
Saphron Arc stood before a red door and faced her doom with dignity.
She had a duty; as the eldest Arc child it fell to her to face this unholy menace and save her sisters from a fate worse than death.
.
..
...alright, maybe she had been lacking in that department lately.
But it wasn't her fault! How was she to know letting Jaune go on that adventure would lead to this?! Really, she just wanted her baby brother to see the world, expand his horizons, cure his wanderlust by...well, wandering off a little. She'd expected him to come back cold and hungry within the week, done with his adventures
Instead he'd wriggled his way into Beacon, caused untold chaos and...and...and attracted so many cute girls!
'No, no bad Saphron. You have Terra. No cheating! Besides, they're all younger than you.'
Even if that Schnee was a snack...gah!
Shaking her head furiously, blonde hair thrashing about, she forced herself to focus.
Hesitation was defeat. She wouldn't gain anything by dithering here.
...even if she kinda wanted to.
Mom had demanded she come to this safehouse, though, for what reasons, she did not.
So, she knocked.
Muffled voices arose from within.
"Watts?" a woman's voice inquired, "You haven't seen Tyrian, have you? He's not picking up his scroll."
"Does he ever?"
"When his goddess summons him, he does!"
Saphron knocked again.
I'm coming, blast you! Accursed mortals, no patience in this generation, I swear!
The door swung open with incredible force, forcing her to catch it, or be bowled over. Even with her superior strength, she found herself driven back half a pace.
"If you're selling insurance, I have no need of it. I'm quite immortal."
Quite abruptly, she found herself face to face with a pale woman straight out of some horror story. Pale skin, red eyes, ashen hair; when faced with such a distinctly inhuman sight, her first instinct was to punch first, ask questions later, but listening to that had gotten her in a fair bit of trouble lately and Mom had described said woman to her over the scroll already. So, against her better judgement, she waited.
Well that she did, too; because those blood red eyes turned blue.
Just for a moment, a sliver of a second, but enough to suggest there was more going on here than meets the eye.
"Spring?" The woman whispered the name softly, little more than a pained breath somewhere between a sob and sigh. "Is that you?"
Saphron tilted her head. "Who?"
"Ahem." The faintest hint -or tint- of pink appeared in the woman's cheeks as she coughed into a fist. "My apologies. You're the spitting image of one of my children, all grown up. Was there something you wanted?"
The things she did for family...
She sighed, accepting her fate, but resolved to face it with dignity. "You wouldn't happen to be Salem, would you?"
"Indeed I am. What of it?"
Right, screw it. She spread her arms wide, reached back, grabbed her crimson cape and performed a curtsy, just like Mom taught her. "I'm Saphron Arc, eldest of the Arc children. Nice to meet you...?"
The woman froze, eyes wide. Was it her imagination, or did that ashen hair of hers seem awfully blond all of a sudden?
Saphron waved a hand before Salem's face. "Hello? Are you alright? Anybody in there?"
Still no response.
Emboldened, she dared to lay a hand on the woman's head.
Too late, she realized her mistake.
It reactivated Salem.
"Aiyeeeeeeeeeee!"
"What now?!"
With a delighted squeal, her ancestor latched onto her arm and yanked; hauling her forward, dragging her face into her bosom. "Another descendant?!" impossibly strong arms held her tight, cutting off her oxygen with brutal dispatch. "Come here, dear girl! Let Grandma have a look at you!"
Saphron succumbed with a sigh.
Smothered by a fantastic set of tits.
There were worst ways to black out, she supposed...
(.0.0.0.)
In the dead of night, deep within the Schnee manor, a phone began to ring.
Willow Schnee ignored it and kept right on drinking.
The sound did not cease, much to her chagrin.
Oh, right. Her phone.
Blasted thing.
Realizing she'd get no peace and fumbling for the device with clumsy fingers, she hastily unfurled it, half-expecting another call for Jacques.
Imagine her surprise then, to hear from one of her wayward daughters.
It wasn't a video call -thank the gods!- but she knee her voice anywhere, even after all these awful years.
"Mother," Winter's voice came through, soft and quiet, ""I need your help.
"Winter?" She couldn't quite hide the incredulous slur of a gasp from her voice. "We haven't spoken in...well, its been years! What could you possibly want from me?"
"I've met a boy."
She scowled, not believing her for an instant. "Does he have a mustache?"
"No?"
"Is said boy General Ironwood? He's much too old for you, dear...
"Mother...
"Alright," she huffed, taking another long drink of her bottle, "I'll humor you. What is the name of this so-called boy of yours, hmm? Is his name John Doe? Really, such games are beneath you. Have you called just to mock an old woman-
"His name is Jaune Arc."
Willow blinked fuzzily. "Why, that sounds like an actual person."
"Because he exists, Mother."
"Oh." Willow blinked several times, quite flummoxed. "Oh. And you want him...?
"As I have never wanted another. I," there was a pause as she weighed her words, then barreled on, "I believe I love him."
An ugly sneer twisted the older woman's visage.
Love?
Love was an illusion.
Love was a lie, lurid and false.
There had been a time, once, long ago, when she thought she knew what love was. When she loved a young man deeply, passionately, loudly, more than life itself. That man in Mantle, that wayward traveler, the fellow who refused to divulge his name...what a torrid affair it had been. Her enigmatic, dark-haired, stranger with his wild eyes.
But then that young man vanished in the dead of night, and in his absence, she was forced to marry Jacques. For a time she thought she might love him too, but that love was also a lie, for more sinister. He had never loved her to begin with, he only ever saw her as a source of wealth; the Schnee name, a broodmare by which he might get more heirs
It was a dire dagger that had driven itself deep into her heart, a poison she had never truly recovered from.
And Winter believed she knew what love was?
"I do, Mother." Blast, she'd said that last bit aloud, hadn't she. "I love him. I want him. I need him."
By the gods, Winter sounded like she actually believed it. Believed her herself.
Nonsense.
Winter had never been quite normal. Different from other children, never raising her voice, never shouting, and rarely, if ever crying. Dare she say on the spectrum? She'd never expressed interest in anything before, only a burning desire to get away from Jacques and his horrid expectations. She'd called her weak, fled to the military and never spoken to her since.
There were times when she wondered Winter might be His instead of Jacques. The timeline fit; and she'd become pregnant shortly after she began seeing Jacques...
.
..
...but no, that was silly. She'd checked. Several times.
Might she be His?
Wine. She needed more wine.
Casting her glass aside, she necked the bottle and took a long swig to fortify herself. "This boy. How did you meet him?"
Here at last, Winter sounded abashed. Dare she say...shy? "I.. may have fought him.
A pale brow rose, incredulous. "And he bested you?"
"Spectacularly." Such pride in her voice just now!
"Hmm...You didn't let him win, did you?"
"I would never do such a thing.
Well, well, well!
Jacques would never approve, of course. This boy sounded like a country bumpkin, some backwater peasant of a villager, who through grace or blind bloody luck had stumbled his way into Beacon. He had no credentials, no famous family, no regal bearing, and nothing For the Schnees gain should their families become one.
And yet, had she not once known the same love?
Now here her wayward daughter was, asking her for advice.
"Say it again," she choked on the last word. "Prove to me that you wish to wed him."
"I do." Winter's voice came through crystal clear, sharper than a cold morning. "But I have competition; foes I cannot simply slay or eliminate for fear of upsetting him. I need your help."
"Help? From me? You're joking, girl." Willow scoffed anew, idly brushing tears from the corner of her eyes. "What could I possibly render you? I am a shell of a woman, Winter. You want my advice? Don't do as I did. Chain him down and make certain he can never leave you."
She took yet another drink, trying to down her sorrows in wonderful wine-
"Nonsense, mother." Winter refuted her. "You're still in your prime."
-only to choke. What kind of response was that?!
"I need to seduce him, but for that I will need help; and to do that, I must show him that a Schnee is superior. I shall recruit Weiss for this as well, if she is willing."
Willow sputtered, wine bubbling past her lips to stain her blouse scarlet. So shameless. So bold. This man must be a marvel indeed, to capture her daughters eye. Surely Winter wasn't proposing what she thought she was proposing, was she? No, nay, never, surely not. But if she was...
.
..
...Weiss would absolutely implode.
"I also propose that you divorce Father in favor of Jaune."
Urk! A high spot of color hit her pale cheeks as she stumbled over her response. "Do you have a picture of this boy?"
Winter preened; she couldn't see her face, but she heard it in her voice all the same. "Yes. And he is not a boy, but a young man. There is a difference."
"Show me."
Her Scroll chimed, and an image came through.
Willow squinted at it, blinking through blurry vision.
By the way Winter described him, she expected a harmless, lanky, looking lad.
Instead she found herself gazing at a veritable god of war glowing gold; his armor ripped and torn to expose the chiseled muscles beneath. Good lord you could grind meat on those. Eyes wild, he swung a blazing sword down upon his enemy, teeth bared in a laugh, his messy hair thrashing about in some unseen breeze as he lunged forward to attack-nay, to pounce. How her daughter had acquired said photo was beyond her. Perhaps a body camera of some sort? Regardless the sight was quite...stirring.
Willow's mouth went dry.
Something else became quite damp.
It was her eyes, surely. Or perhaps her nose.
Absolutely nothing else.
Nothing.
Else.
Her face, meanwhile, turned a peachy shade of pink.
"Oh." She managed less than eloquently, "He's proper fit isn't he...?"
"Now you see why I need assistance." Winter's voice took on a pleading tone as it hadn't since she was a child. "Mommy...please. I want him. Help me."
When was the last time her baby girl called her that?!
It flipped her switch.
"Aiyeeeee!"
Willow flung her wine bottle at the wall, where it shattered explosively into a thousand shards, painting the wall red. None challenged her. She had a drunken moment to wonder why, then recalled. Jacques was taking that trip to Mistral, wasn't he? Something about visiting Haven Academy to extort them for a dust grant? She couldn't remember the details, and honestly she didn't care.
Regardless!
This was her chance! Her opportunity!
"Say no more, my dear~! I'll be right there!" Scroll in hand, Willow Schnee staggered to her feet and ran, slaloming toward the door. "Mama's coming~!"
A/N: I say again, LET CHAOS TAKE THE WORLD!
Next chapter title (after this two-parter) should be something along the lines of: Just a little Dance.
As ever, these glorious misunderstandings remain glorious. Are we going for the single route, or the harem ending? I suppose that depends on you, the reader. We're not quite done with the story yet, we still have a bit more to go, not to mention the other continents, Lionheart, the Crown, and the like, to say nothing of the Brother Gods and WHO THE HELL IS PORT?!.
Or we could just end this after the imminent attack on Beacon.
Your choice!
Find out next time, on Practice Makes Perfect!
Once again, reviews are my fuel. Without them I simply cannot write.
So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...Review...Would You Kindly?
Alas, there are no previews this time.
Next chapter will be bonkers.
Everyone's gonna laugh~!
...alright, some previews.
But just a few small ones!
(Preview!)
Jaune dove into the fray.
Child, where in blazes have you been?
She smiled. Learning things.
...dare I ask what?
Tyrian pounced!
Salem perked up. Great grandbabies?"
Now it was Saphron's turn to flush.
Terra and I might adopt if we can't have a child, actually.
Still counts!
The Hound cocked its head. "Friend?"
Zwei mirrored him, tongue lolling out his mouth as he panted happily.
"No!" Ruby flung up her arms. "No friends! This is not happening! Zwei you get back here right now-ACK?!
The Hound licked her, cutting her off. "Gah! Bad doggy! Down!"
The Grimm barked and licked her again.
"Noooooo!"
Oh, gods.
That dress.
And her hair.
She looked...beautiful didn't even begin to describe her.
She held out her hand to him and smiled. "Shall we dance?"
Jaune hesitated. "This isn't a trap, is it?"
"Take my hand, Arc."
~Nz.