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Chapter 34:

The Divided Island

"Did you just say that's an egg‽" Usopp demanded, eyes bugged out and finger pointing at the greenish orb in Coby's hand. The Zoan nodded, stepping toward the group. Usopp screamed in response, running to Zoro to hide behind the older swordsman. "Don't bring it closer! Smash it!"

"That's awesome!" Luffy and Merry cheered, the pair rushing over to inspect the sphere. Luffy poked it. The egg was perfectly round and semi-soft to the touch, not quite hardened.

"Why's it soft?" Luffy asked. "I thought eggs were hard."

"Maybe it's the youngest, not fully developed," Merry suggested. "The shards over here suggest these eggs had hard shells, but they shattered when the dragon fell. That one being soft is likely why it survived."

"You realize this means there's another dragon around here, right‽" Usopp yelled. "You need two to make eggs!"

"Not necessarily," Robin countered, the injured archeologist seated on a cooler piece of rubble, her leg wrapped with bandages. "As a lizard on an island without other noticeable life, there's a decent chance this species of dragon is a squamate."

"A what?" Coby blinked.

"A type of lizard or snake," Robin clarified.

"I think it's pretty obvious it's a lizard," Zoro said. "What makes these squad-things interesting?"

"Mostly found in lizards, there are about 50 known species of squamates that reproduce asexually when certain conditions are met. Considering the amount of destroyed shell I can see from here, this species must also have a large infant mortality rate, causing them to lay many eggs in the hopes that a few survive to adulthood. Considering the lack of food, infanticide cannibalism is highly likely."

"Gross," Merry muttered, her, Coby, and Usopp crinkling their noses in disgust at the suggestion. All but physical question marks appeared over Zoro and Luffy's heads, the rapid-fire big words making the horrible image pass them by.

"Hey, Egg!" Luffy grinned. "Wanna join my crew?"

"It's an egg, dumbass!" Coby shouted, using his free hand to punch Luffy over the head. "It can't talk or think!"

"Not yet," Merry corrected. "That said, it would be pretty cool to have a dragon as a pet. I mean, we've got Billy and no offence to him, but he's not a dragon."

"That thing would eat us!" Usopp argued. "Robin just said its kind eat its own children!"

"Counter argument," the Klabautermann proposed. "It's a learned behavior and we could raise it better. Besides, imagine how cool Ace's future wanted posters would be if he had a dragon over his shoulders. 'Grandson of Dragon Controls Dragons.' The headlines practically write themselves."

"That would be awesome!" Luffy agreed. "What else can you tell us about these squabbies?"

"Squamates," Robin corrected. "And they possess two main types of reproduction colloquially known as full cloning and half cloning. If their environment has not changed in a long time, then squamates typically use full cloning as they are readily adapted to their environment. If their environment is changing, then they use half cloning, increasing the chances of gene mutations that could be beneficial, thus causing evolution."

"If it's a half-clone, will we get the front half or the back half?" Luffy questioned. "Probably the back half if it needs jeans, right?"

"Captain," Coby sighed. "I'm glad you're trying to follow along, but there's so much you just missed there. Half cloning just means it would turn out different than its parent in some way, not that there's only half an animal. Also, she's not talking about the jeans you wear. She means that the baby dragon could be, like, blue or something when the parent was red."

"Oooh," Luffy nodded, dropping a fist into his hand. "It causes mystery changes."

"That…" Coby blinked. "For once, that's actually pretty close."

"None of that matters!" Usopp yelled, pointing at the dragon corpse. "How are we supposed to keep it on the ship when it will end up that big?"

"It might not," Merry noted. "Plenty of animals only grow as big as their environment allows. I'd bet if we raised a dragon on the Sunny, then it'd only get as big as Franky, probably. What do you think, Zoro?"

"Hm?" Zoro looked up from the next hunk of meat, said meat sizzling on the same slab of ruins as the others as he set it down.

"OW OW HOT!" the voice from before cried from the general area of the slab. "Someone assist me, I beg of you, poot! Before the flames reduce my nethers to naught but ash!"

"Zoro, the meat's talking!" Luffy yelled. "Find out why! I can't eat talking meat or it will keep talking in my stomach!"

"It'll stop talking eventually," Zoro shrugged.

"Zoro/Zoro-sensei!" Usopp, Merry, and Coby yelled.

"Now this is curious," Robin muttered. "There appears to be a pair of human legs somehow stuck to this part of the dragon.

"Human legs?" Merry echoed, using Shave to appear next to the older woman in an instant. "Well, would you look at that. How weird."

"Please!" the legs begged. "Poot! I know you are nearby! Please assist me in my time of need!"

"I'll take care of it," Merry offered, hopping through the air to land on the meat next to the flailing pair of legs. They were rather hairy and covered with the bottom of a decorative orange, black, and white kimono with a red sash around the waist. Feeling the heat getting to her as well, Merry hooked her arms around the legs' knees and pulled.

Her first couple of tugs failed to budge the appendages, but they did get a reaction.

"Has someone come to my rescue?" the legs questioned. "Poot! Please act with haste! I can feel the hair of my legs burning away!"

"I've got you," Merry promised, one final, great pull freeing the legs. And only legs were they, the waist where they had been connected to the dragon's hide showing only a black interior where would normally be organs, blood, and bone.

"Zoro, did you cut this guy in half?" Luffy cried.

"Don't blame me for this!" Zoro shot back. The captain blinked.

"Then maybe this is one of those half cloning things, but he's missing his jeans."

"That's in no way connected to this, Captain!" Coby denied. The legs shifted, jumping to their feet and dancing a small jig.

"Poot! Thank you, my friends. I feared I would be cooked alive, and that simply would not do, for I have a mission to fulfill, poot!"

"What mission?" Robin enquired.

"I am certain you have many question for me, poot, but I am in no state to answer them. I can sense that you are nearby, but I cannot hear nor see any of you. As it stands, a vile sorcerer has divided my parts, yet I live on, poot. I am certain this strange magic may be reversed if I can find the rest of my body."

"Alright, we're gonna help this guy," Luffy decided. "He talks funny and I want to see the rest of him."

"What about the egg, Captain?" Coby asked.

"Hang on to it. I want to see everyone's faces when we bring it back. And I did promise Ace a souvenir."

"Yes, Captain."

"Ok, let's get moving!" Luffy declared, hoisting the legs up onto his shoulder in a modified fireman's carry. "We've got half a person to find!"

"Poot! You are offering me assistance?"

"Ok, but where?" Usopp asked. "We don't have a clue where to start and it's not like we can just ask the legs where they rest of him is. He's already said he can't hear us."

"Uncle Usopp is right," Merry agreed. "The fact that he can sense us suggests he has some kind of Observation Haki and I'm still very confused about how a disembodied pair of legs can talk, but none of that helps us."

"Let's go back to the Sunny," Coby suggested. "Maybe the others will have an idea on where to…" He trailed off, his eyes slowly rising to the top of one of the burning towers. The others followed his line of sight.

There, perched upon the top of the building was a shadow. Humanoid in appearance, the legs were long and slender and an orange glow reflected off large, round eyes. It seemed to sense their gazes, the rounded torso opening to reveal that the shape had been caused by a pair of wings. The shadow leapt, two great beats of its wings making it vanish into the sky.

"The Hell was that?" Merry asked. "That was awesome!"

"I'm gonna ask that thing to join my crew," Luffy grinned.

"You will not!" Zoro and Usopp denied, the former smacking Luffy in the back of the head. "We don't even know if that thing speaks Common," Usopp continued.

"The odds of that are likely, however," Robin interrupted. "Given that it is a creature on an island that was once controlled by the World Government, there is a decent chance that any sentient creature here can at least understand our language, even if they do not speak it themselves."

"And the dragon?" the sniper tried.

"Not sentient," the archeologist replied. "At least, not in any meaningful way by human standards. Domesticated and sentient animals require being raised in an environment in which they are regularly exposed to humans who are meeting all their needs. Most creatures never move beyond working for the most basic of needs, and thus never care for others until needing to mate. And the latter is as close as most animals come."

"Are you referring to Maslov's Hierarchy of Needs?" Merry asked. "If I remember right, the base needs are food, water, shelter, and sleep among others. You studied the hierarchy extensively to keep yourself sane while on the run as a child."

"That is correct," Robin nodded, only a slight downturn at the corner of her lips an indication that the memories Merry's words dredged up were distasteful. "Ideas like love, community, and belonging are halfway up the pyramid and only become a consideration after constant safety is realized. Though this dragon was not sentient in the human sense, that does not mean the one that will hatch from the egg could never be."

"Can we cycle back around to the bird thing that Luffy wants to recruit before his head explodes?" Zoro demanded, one casual thumb pointing back at where Luffy was red-faced with squinted eyes, trying to follow along with the scientific conversation. "What makes you think that thing is sentient when the dragon wasn't?"

"It's body shape is a good hint," Robin began, foregoing the use of the words 'physiology' and 'indicator' for Luffy's sake. "Nearly every humanoid creature, be they human, Long-Arm, Long-Leg, Fishman, Giant, or some combination thereof all have society."

"They live together is groups," Coby clarified for Luffy. He let out an "Oh" with a nod.

"So, could you give that to us in dumbed-down terms?" Usopp requested.

"Poot!" the legs said over Luffy's shoulder. "Why have we not moved? I am in something of a hurry!"

"It looks human, so it probably thinks on the level of humans," the fairy translated for Luffy's sake, ignoring the talking, disembodied legs. "Wood Fairies as a whole are a pretty good example. If an animal lives in a group, they develop a form of communication, and they pick up on that while they're young. I learned Common because that's the language you all used to talk to each other. Even though Robin knew Poneglyphic while I was forming, she didn't use it around me, so I didn't learn it the way I did Common. Sunny will be a different story because Robin is teaching Ace and me, so it's being used."

"Great," Usopp whined. "So we'll have a whole group of smart, winged monsters come after us to eat us. Perfect."

"No one said anything about eating," Luffy noted, certain that he would have followed that part of the conversation at least. "Except when Merry said something about food being a base need."

"It flew off toward the other side of the Island," Coby offered. "Do we follow it or head back to the Sunny, Captain?"

"The Sunny'll be fine," Luffy answered. "Everyone's strong and they've got Sunny herself to keep an eye out. Let's explore the rest of the island!"

"Your wish is our command, Captain," Robin giggled. "Ah, Zoro? Could you carry me? My leg seems to be bothering me."

Zoro grumbled as he lifted the raven-haired archeologist onto his shoulder, the verdet missing the way Coby and Merry sent his new passenger a thumbs-up. With Luffy and Coby leading the pack, the group started making their way to the center of the island.

Sunny had shifted beneath them, Grace knew, whomever had boarded her moving the ship somewhere else. The artist didn't know why, but her breath now condensed into a cloud of white every time she breathed. That didn't make sense considering how the island was burning, but all evidence now pointed toward the Sunny being docked at a winter island. She didn't know how to explain this what with her limited information, Ace whispering questions to her that she had no answer for. Billy's eyes were furrowed, the Gigafowl trying to piece together the situation himself.

"Sunny hasn't moved for ten minutes now," the artist commented. "That must mean whoever boarded us has reached their destination. They should be distracted and feeling pretty secure right about now."

"So what we gonna do?" Ace asked. The young woman picked him up, setting the toddler on Billy's back. A wave of her hand caused the Argon clogging the area above and below the doors to clear, letting the orange-green sleeping gas that had first tipped Grace off to slowly seep in, but at a noticeably slower rate. The chem-woman formed a barrier of air around herself and her two companions, keeping them safe.

She opened the door slowly, poking her head outside to scan the hallway. When no living thing presented itself, she crept out, Billy tiptoeing along behind her.

"Dun dun dadum, dun dun dunda…" Ace whisper-sang to himself as they moved through the hallways. Ahead, Grace pressed herself against a corner and pulled a tiny, cosmetic mirror from her pocket, using its reflection to spy down the next hallway. "Da-da-daaa… Da-da-daaa..."

Finding no one down the hall, Grace gestured for Billy to keep following her and led the way onward. They kept their footsteps quiet as they moved, Ace switching from whisper-singing to humming. The sleeping gas continued to part before them, swirling back in on itself after they had passed. Each step seemed to drop the temperature further until they reached the door to the deck.

"Auntie Grace, I'm cold."

"I am too, Ace," she responded. "Listen, this is going to get messy. Whoever is here, they have to be on the deck and I don't think we can sneak past them. Billy, when we get out, take Ace and fly up until you get out of the gas. We can deal with the cold afterward."

"Wah," the bird nodded as Grace directed Ace's hands to grab Billy's saddle, ordering him to not let go. Everything as ready as it could be, Grace pushed the door open and dove out onto the deck.

Sharp cold and moisture hit Grace as she came up onto her feet, one hand balancing her. The haze of the gas hung over the ship, nearly stark against the white backdrop of falling and settled snow. Billy was a blur of yellow and orange as he shot forward, the gas swirling behind him while he climbed higher and higher. Figures in yellow jumpsuits with large, gray tanks on their backs turned, each one-and-a-half times Grace's smaller height.. They saw Grace at the same time she saw them, the pirate reaching her arms out. The sleeping gas moved at her beckoning, condensing into twin spiked pauldrons around her hands and forearms. In response, several raised rifles while one drew a sword

"She must be one of the pirates!" one of the figures yelled. "Capture her!"

"Fat chance, boys!" Grace shot forward, clearing the distance between herself and the closest intruder in a second. She twisted, planting her right pauldron in the face of the man. He lost his hold on his gun, the condensed gas driving him into the solid deck below, his facemask cracking and shattering with a crunch. A portion of the gas under Grace's control split off, blasting into his suit and knocking the man unconscious in moments. She cracked her neck and stood. "Alright, who's next?"

The figures paused, glancing at each other.

"She's just one girl!" the apparent leader said. "Don't let up!"

Snow crunched below as the figures moved as one, each charging forward. The one with the sword reached Grace first, the artist jumping off her first downed opponent to backflip over the swinging blade. She lashed out with a kick, but this one seemed to be more experienced than his companions, his free hand coming up to block her attack. His hand tightened around her heel, pulling Grace in toward his sword. She crossed her arms, crystalizing the gas to catch the blade.

She couldn't see the face of her opponent, but she all but felt his eyes widen as the crystals grew around the blade, a jerk of her arms snapping the metal. He staggered backward, Grace spinning to use her new broken sword to cut the tube connecting the figure's head to the oxygen container on his back. It hissed, the air inside rapidly decompressing.

Grace left him to succumb to the remaining sleeping gas around them as two more foes approached with their rifles. One spun it around, holding the weapon by the barrel so he could swing the stock like a club. She ducked under it but didn't get a chance to capitalize on the opening as the other shot at her. The pirate hopped backward, a dart stabbing into the deck where she had been.

"Tranqs," the natural redhead hissed, flexing her fingers as the cold started making them go numb. "Of course these bastards have tranqs."

Even with the two enemies she'd already downed, there were still four more to go, each armed with tranquilizers and equipped with heating to deal with the snowy weather. She, on the other hand, was on a timer and outmanned.

Despite their weapons, however, she was not outgunned.

"This has been fun, boys, but I've got a nephew to take care of, so we need to finish this. So sorry." Grace's hands danced through the air, her stolen gas breaking apart to form sharpened darts of her own. They arrayed behind her like the arms of a drawn sun, the chemist bringing her hands around as if offering her hand for a dance, the first of many of the darts settling in her palm. "Chemical Bending: Sleepy Minigun."

The crystalized bullets almost made "pew pew" sounds as each shot from her palm, stabbing into the hazmat-suit-ensconced intruders one after the other. They fell over, the leader reaching for something in his suit as he struggled to remain awake. Grace strutted over to him, kicking his arm as he brought it up toward his face. A transponder snail hit the snow as it flew from his hand, the man reaching for it weakly before going limp under the peaceful embrace of their own drugs.

Needing to figure something out for this cold but having a list of priorities, Grace quickly followed the gas to its origin, finding a reinforced barrel leaking the airborne drug. She lifted it over her head and threw it overboard, the rest of the gas dispersing at her command.

"Wah?" Billy questioned from above, Grace looking up to see the Gigafowl and the toddler he was carrying poking their heads over the side of the crow's nest.

"All good," the young woman confirmed, allowing the duck and child to return to the deck.

"Auntie Grace, it's snowing!" Ace said as soon he knew she could hear him.

"I know, Ace."

"It's cold 'cause it's snowing, even though the island was on fire before!"

"I know that too, Ace," Grace nodded absently.

"The island's gone en-do-therm-nail now!"

"That's right." She lifted his hat and ruffled his hair, only then noticing that Billy was also shivering from the weather. "Come on. Now that I've taken care of these guys, we can go get changed for the snow. We'll figure out what to do after that."

"Ok," Ace replied, Billy turning and heading for the door. He didn't quite make it, the large duck tripping over something he'd thought would be just a slightly-taller snowbank. A certain crown-like hat on an afro rolled out, leaving a track in the snow.

"Wah?" the bird questioned.

"It's Grandpa Brook's head!" Ace said, pointing. As they three watched, Brook's head snored, a sleep bubble impossibly forming from his nose hole only to freeze. Brook continued to snore.

"He'll wake up pretty quickly," Grace commented. "Let's go change clothes, Ace."

"Kay!"

"There's snow over there!" Luffy yelled from the ridge of the next pile of rubble, his finger pointing out to the horizon the others could not yet see. The odd call, however, spurned the other pirates to climb a little faster, the rest joining him atop the debris.

Across the way stood what appeared to be a circular lake of clear, blue water connected to the ocean on their side by straight rivers. This water acted as a perfect divide between the burning half of the island on which they stood and the expansive white of falling and piling snow on the other side. The clouds above the lake swirled as the difference of temperature caused them to churn in on themselves, unable to find a balance. A mountain barely visible through the dense snowstorm rose out over the distance, its sides a darker black-brown trying to hide within the frozen precipitation.

"Woah!" Merry grinned, grabbing a piece of sturdy rubble to balance herself as she leaned over the edge to get a view that much closer. "Now this is the kind of stuff I wanted to see during our adventure! I can practically hear Mrs. Nami muttering about air pressure and currents in my head."

"Oh," Coby blinked. "Oh! We're on that island!"

"What island?" Usopp questioned. "That do you mean that island? I don't like that island!"

"Well, it's not common knowledge, but Junior made it his job to know everything that was going on," Coby explained. "When Akainu and Aokiji fought for the title of Fleet Admiral, they say their dual went on for a full three days and nights, forever altering the landscape of their battlefield. This must have been that location."

"Guys, my Can'tGoOnTheScaryDevilFruitChangedIsland Disease is starting to act up," the sniper whimpered, clutching at his heart. "I think I'm gonna die."

"I know," Luffy laughed.

"I know," Coby said.

"I know," Merry added.

"I know," Zoro grunted.

"We are aware," Robin offered.

"Bleigh," Usopp feigned death, laying on the rubble at their feet with his tongue lolling out of his mouth. "I'm dead. You all killed me."

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed. "Hey, do you think I could do the same thing to another island as the Admirals did here? What would happen? Would it make the place super bouncy forever?"

"I don't know if it's possible," Merry thought aloud. "I mean, Aokiji and Akainu are pretty powerful Logias while you have a body-changing Paramecia. The differences there are pretty obvious."

"Yeah," Zoro muttered, "but this is Luffy we're talking about and Devil Fruits are bullshit. He's too stupid to know what's impossible and what's not, so he'll find a way to make it possible."

"Like you do with your nonexistent sense of direction?" Robin giggled.

"Shut up, woman! I will drop you!"

Robin did not reply, only continuing to giggle. Zoro huffed.

"Poot!" the legs said. "I suddenly feel a breeze. How curious."

"Do you think the bird-person flew to the snowy side?" Luffy questioned.

"It's possible," Coby replied. "I know it flew this way, even though I couldn't pinpoint its thoughts, I know it was at least over the lake when I lost it in my Observation. It can't have known I could track it."

"Next step, then," Merry said. "How are we getting across the—?"

A bullet cut her off, shooting through her forehead. She stumbled, falling backward as she started to destabilize. The rest of the crew jumped into action, Coby pushing Usopp out of the way as the next bullet put a hole in the ground just behind where he'd been standing.

"Lay off my crew!" Luffy roared, charging the area where the projectiles had come from. He jumped out of the way of another bullet with ne'er a pause for the sidestep.

"This guy's good," Coby growled as Merry finished restabilizing. "He managed to hide himself from my Observation. He's a pro."

"He won't be for long!" Usopp declared, taking off after their captain. "No one attacks Merry under my watch and gets away with it!"

Luffy cleared the rubble behind which the gunman had been hiding, his fist already on a collision course with his head before the gunman could get a word in. He raised his weapon, the rifle absorbing the punch's impact before cracking in two. He jumped back, making distance between himself and the invader.

The gunman had the upper body of a muscular, bearded man with a scowling, scarred face, but his pelvis was attached to the neck and body of a giraffe. His long, spindly legs were spread out to lower his center of balance, tensed to run or fight at a moment's notice.

"Say your prayers, intruders," he said reaching behind his back/neck to draw a sword. "This island belongs to the Master, and he doesn't want outsiders like you wandering around. Surrender now; I've already killed one of you."

"A bullet to the face won't stop any of my crew!" Luffy swore. "I don't care how cool your legs are, weird giraffe guy, I'll still beat you up for attacking us!"

"You think you can take me?" the giraffe centaur laughed. "I'd like to see you t—"

"Green Star: Devil!"

Flora rapidly sprouted underneath the four-legged man, green vines rising to ensnare his legs as the gaping mouth of a mutant Venus Fly Trap rose to eat him. He cried out in shock as the plant seemed to realize it could not swallow him with its current size and started to grow larger for that purpose.

"What is this‽" he cried, hacking at the plant with his sword to no effect.

"Payback!" Usopp answered from beside Luffy. The centaur reached into his shirt, pulling out a transponder snail. Before he could so much as wake it up, however, a metal pellet smacked into his hand, the man dropping the invertebrate with a painted gasp.

"And Clutch," Robin said, arms blooming along the visible parts of the centaur's neck/torso before twisting him almost 180 degrees with many a crack. Foam bubbled at his mouth as he went slack.

"Well that was rude," Merry commented as she, Zoro, and Coby joined the others. "He could have just said hi."

"He had a transponder snail," Usopp noted, reaching down to pick up the communication creature. "These things don't really just roam in the wild, especially not on burning and frozen islands. Look, the shell says CC on it."

"And he mentioned some master," Zoro added. "Looks like we'll have to beat someone up like usual."

"Is it Tuesday already?" Coby joked, miming looking at a watch. "Anyway, first a dragon, then a harpy, and now some kind of centaur. It's like this master person wants to make their own bastardized fairytale creatures come to life."

"I say we go back to the Sunny and sail away!" Usopp voted, a hand raised. The Green Star: Devil started to brown and wither from the heat, leaving the incapacitated would-be assassin mostly unharmed in its maw.

"While I disagree with just leaving, I would like to check up on the others," Merry said. "We can drop off the dragon egg and plan our next move."

"As long as we aren't leaving before I kick someone's ass," Luffy agreed. "Alright, back to the ship!"

Franky came to slowly, a repetitive bang, bang, bang echoing again and again in his ears. It took a minute for his systems to boot up, his sensors flickering to life and checking that everything was still working. The first thing he saw was Sanji, the chef making the noise as he kicked a metal door, the area already dented but not ready to give way. The center of said door was branded with the number 102.

Franky blinked any remaining sleep away and looked around the room. It was solid, unpainted steel in a rather large cube. His crewmates were arrayed around it with various emotions on their faces. Some, like Amy, Gin, and Sanji, were clearly angry, the former with bloody knuckles as evidence of her own attempts to break the reinforced door down —and thankfully covered up with her dress that the kidnappers had brought along when they'd been moved. They were apparently nice enough to offer some modesty to their captives. Gin clearly wanted to join the attack on the door, but his weapons were nowhere to be seen. Others, like Chopper and Nami, seemed worried. The navigator in particular was hugging her knees to her chest, muttering prayers to the universe for the protection of her son. Kaku hung back in the corner, his narrowed eyes studying the room.

"I don' think th' door's gonna give in, Sanji," Gin commented. "You're jus' gonna tire yourself out at this rate."

"Freaking Sea Prism Stone," Amy complained. "If it was any old steel, we'd be out by now."

"You think I don't know that, Gin‽" the chef responded, emphasizing his words with another kick. "I can't just sit around and do nothing! They took our transponder snails and whatever weapons they could identify on us. I'm not going to take that lying down."

"I can't believe they'd do that to us!" Chopper cried, throwing his hands in the air. "We come to save them in their time of need and they kidnap us!"

"But they didn't get all of us," Kaku noted, dragging attention to him. "Yeah, they got the drop on us, which is uncool, but there're several folks that ain't here that would be otherwise." He raised a finger, counting the number of pirates that were absent from their cell. "They didn't get the skeleton —proly thinkin' he's dead as a doornail— and there's no way they could've isolated Sunny. On top of that, your artist, kid, and duck are all absent, too. That's five left on the ship. If they'd been caught, Brook specifically, then they would've been here."

"That's long-term good news," Gin admitted, "but that don't help us none here and now."

"Ah, a thousand pardons," a voice said, echoing from an uninhabited corner. "Based on your words, I can only conclude that none of you are in league with the magical swordsman of the island?"

With suspicion now drawn to the shadows, Sanji —being the closest of their number to the point— inched toward it. He gasped, recoiling.

"What is it?" Chopper questioned, jumping to his feet. He rushed to Sanji's side, ready to offer his medical services should they be needed but equally ready to run at the same time. His eyes landed on the things in the darkness. "Oh Goda, a monster!"

"I understand that my appearance may be disturbing, but I do not believe myself to be such a creature."

Increasingly concerned, the other pirates (and Kaku) gathered around the origin of the voice. There, lying on the floor, were a host of rectangular prisms, each capped with a part of a face, be it an eye, the mouth, or part of the nose. On either side of this pile was what seemed to be part of a head, one with a black topknot and the other with a chin, a goatee, and part of a neck. The mouth opened.

"Please, I beg of you not to gawk." The eyes moved, looking separate directions. "This place is strange and when the magic swordsman bested me, I quite literally fell to pieces. If it is no trouble, could I ask you to put my head back together?"

"What happened t' you?" Gin asked. "Wha' d'ya mean when ya say 'magic swordsman'?"

"It was the strangest phenomenon. He cut me, yet I did not bleed. Stranger still, I can still feel the rest of my parts out in the world, moving under some sort of my own behest. Please, can you assist me?"

"I've got this," Sanji insisted, laying his hands on the pieces. Several minutes passed as he tried to put the head back together. "There."

"I… do not believe this is right," the head said, his mouth in the center of his face and his eyes on both the top and bottom. Nami cracked a small smile Sanji's semi-serious attempt reminding her of something Luffy would do unironically.

"Let me give this a try," she muttered. Her attempt at putting the head together earned a few laughs, each pirate deciding they needed to try their own hand at the captive-turned-puzzle-turned-game. Only when he begged them to take him seriously did Amy put what there was here of him back together, citing Grace's love of puzzles as a child for her skill.

"I thank you," the head said, bowing as best it could with only a neck. "I am glad that whatever magic that swordsman used was reversable."

Sanji opened his mouth to respond only to shiver, a noticeable shake crawling up his spine. His one visible eye darted around the room.

"What's up, Sanji?" Gin asked.

"I don't know," the chef answered. "I just got the uncontrollable urge to kick the Mosshead in his stupid face for saying something rude to a lady."

"So nothing new," Chopper commented.

"Speaking of ladies," the head began, his eyes turning of Nami, "what manner of outfit are you wearing‽ It's so obscene! Is such an outfit normal for your culture?"

"Excuse you?" the navigator demanded, grabbing the head by the ear and dragging him up to eye level. "What did you just say about me?"

"You are dressed like a harlot!" the head replied. "Your dress is transparent and your chest is only covered by a breastband! Where I come from, woman are chaste and quiet, following three steps behind the men. Even those with less-reputable jobs know to dress themselves modestly! No man would marry someone who clothes themself the way you do!"

"My husband would disagree with you," Nami said, her free hand brushing her hair to flash the golden band on her finger. "Then he would punch you in the face for the insult."

"You are married‽" the head gasped. "Impossible!"

"Ya better watch your mouth," Gin growled, looming at Nami's shoulder. "You're talkin' ta th' future Queen o' th' Pirates. We'll not have ya disrespect our captain's wife."

"You lot are pirates?" the head demanded. "I should have known, for that would explain your barbarism. I had hoped you too were fellow victims to this frozen Hell and that we could escape together, but that shan't be so."

Nami turned her nose up at him, tossing the head away.

"Wait, frozen?" Franky questioned. "What do you mean by that? This island is on fire with a super volcano and lava and everything."

"I know not what you mean. This island and the waters around it are clothed in naught but snow and ice. There is little heat to be found here. That is the last thing I have to say to you, cursed pirates."

"Nami, weren't you saying the clouds looked funny?" Chopper asked.

"That would explain it," the navigator nodded, putting a hand on her chin. "The cloud formations I saw were those of a frozen tundra. The burning land that Luffy and the others went to must be only half of the island, while those who kidnapped us brought us to the other side, which is frozen. I knew there was something weird going on with the weather."

"Then my little sister and your son are in danger," Amy piped up.

"A woman as scandalous as you has borne only one child?" the head muttered. "I am surprised."

"We're leaving the head here," Sanji decided. "That said, I kicked the door pretty hard; it's not going anywhere."

"That's because you didn't wait until I woke up," Franky commented, putting his hands together and aiming at the door. "Allow me. My cola is super maxed out. Franky… Radical Beam!"

A yellow laser shot from between the Cyborg's hands, hitting the door with an explosion that melted the edges and blasted the metal from its now-molten hinges. It bounced off the opposite wall with a hearty clang that echoed down the hallway.

"That's so cool!" Chopper cried, stars in his eyes and arms waving. "I wish I was a cyborg, too!"

"One Franky is enough, thank you," Nami chuckled with a shake of her head. "Ace has asked me if he could become a cyborg twice already; I don't need you encouraging him."

"Kyahaha!" Amy laughed. "You have to admit, he'd be the cutest little cyborg ever."

"I don't care how cute you think he'd look, no one is modifying my son."

"Wha…" the head gawked, the pirates making their way out the broken door. "W-Wait, please! Perhaps I was too hasty in my judgement! Please, take me along!"

"Why should we?" Sanji questioned, turning his eye back on the head.

"Please," the head begged, bowing as best he could. "Were this a normal situation, I would slice my own belly and die with honor for my failure, but there is a task I must complete at all costs, even if it means living as a disgrace to do so."

"And what does that have to do with us?" Amy demanded. "After all, you're the high-and-might samurai on this island, aren't you?"

"Samurai‽" Chopper cried. "Is he gonna kill us‽"

"How d'ya know this guy's th' samurai?" Gin questioned.

"It's the hairstyle," Amy explained. "The topknot is the traditional hairstyle of the samurai of Wano. So, what will it be, samurai?"

The head didn't look at her, rather moving to make eye contact with Nami.

"As one parent to another, I beg for your assistance. My own son is trapped in this place and I need to get him back at all costs. His life is in danger."

The two parents stared each other down, one testing the conviction of the other. A garbled voice asked something down the hallway.

"They're coming!" Chopper insisted. "Come on! Leave the head! He's our enemy!"

"No," Nami rebuffed. "Bring him along."

"What‽"

"Yes, Donna," Gin said, picking up the head despite Chopper's protests. "Let's get outta here b'fore th' guards come."

"This way," Kaku insisted, pointing to the right of the cell. "The guards are coming from the other side." The group booked it, the head tucked under Gin's arm like a ball of sport. They rounded a corner.

"Shit, this way's a dead end!" Amy swore.

"There's a door!" Nami noted, the words BISCUITS ROOM stenciled into the wall above it. Sanji overtook them, reaching the door first and forcing it open with a powerful kick. The inside of the room was far from the bleak, metal hallway, the floor carpeted in a calming grass color and the walls decorated blue with images of clouds, birds, and rainbows. The pirates forced their way inside only to freeze, many eyes turning on them.

The motion that had been active stopped. Children of various ages turned to see the intruders, said children's heights ranging from four feet to over 20, easily dwarfing even Franky. A soccer ball the same height as Kaku hit the floor with a muted thump.

"Aaaand there's giant kids now," Amy muttered. "Just perfect."

End of Chapter 34

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-SwordOfTheGods