Chapter 11.
He felt a rush of vertigo as he drifted in dark, suffocating darkness. It stopped abruptly as his feet seemed to land on a hard surface; little by little, motes of light swirled around him and the darkness dissolved into a dimly lit room. The architecture was Midgardian, reminiscent of what he had seen in monasteries in the region known as Asia. He saw through the windows that it was night time outside; the trees surrounding the monastery rustled with a sudden gust of wind and a night bird cried in the distance. The scent of incense created an atmosphere which invited to meditation, but Loki knew better than that.
As soon as he became aware of the illusion, a figure appeared in front of him: A woman, her head shaved and dressed in the robes of a high-rank monk; her slender hands played with a wooden fan, probably a magic focus, Loki thought.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"I'm pleased to see you have found your way here," she said with an amiable smile that didn't quite reach her green eyes. "Please excuse the illusions, but I wanted to assess your abilities."
"What for? What is this place?"
"Tell me, Loki of Asgard, how is your magic recovery going?"
He tensed, suddenly sensing her magic power, far stronger than it would be natural for a Midgardian. Her features warmed, and her smile became sincere.
"Surprised? I am the Sorcerer Supreme. My life had been longer than any human's and that has given me time to train in the arcane arts. I'll get to the point: My order is tasked with guarding this world against any menace from other dimensions, real or potential."
"Look, madam, I-"
"The magic of the Allfather is among the most powerful in this universe," the woman continued, ignoring Loki's interruption. "Not seeking to break the seal on your own was a wise decision, but some things cannot be helped. The uncontrolled magic inrush could have destroyed your mind, but instead it let you access the Astral Plane, albeit without control. That's where I should intervene."
Loki chuckled.
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"The vision you had wasn't you accessing another reality, but another reality trying to latch onto you."
He kept his body language neutral, but he felt a shiver down his back. Try as he might, he couldn't erase that memory.
"You still feel it," she observed, taking a step towards him.
He stepped back on instinct.
"Who are you?" he repeated, his hands subtly preparing a spell.
"Someone who can help you," she said. "So, please, don't try to cast anything in this room. This space has been protected, so only I can weave spells. You risk becoming an anchor for something that is more ancient than the Allfather's forefathers, and so terrible that a single glance can destroy a mortal's mind. And before that power, all your plans for my world would seem like child's play."
"I don't-"
"You intended to conquer us," she continued. "To govern us to sate your slighted ego. But tell me: Is it worth imitating those who scorned you because of your magic powers? When you had Laufrey at your mercy, you said you would carve your own path. Was it just an empty boast?"
It took a few seconds for Loki to process that information. Not just the questions, but the fact that this mortal could know so much about him. Of course he wanted to reign! Wasn't that his birthright? Bastard or not, he was a prince, and he had a calling to fulfill.
"What if I told you that there are more rewarding goals than the one you obsess over?"
"Like what?" he spat, finally reacting. "Making a vow of silence and sitting atop a mountain until I wither and die?"
"Sarcasm is a good defense, but not very effective against me," she retorted. "How about protecting what you hold dear?"
He lowered his gaze. What did he hold dear anymore?
Then his thoughts drifted towards Asgard. He had convinced himself that it was closed to his heart, but the mere thought of the golden palace under siege made him sick. Then he thought of his mother, Frigga, who hadn't birthed him, yet had raised him with all the love a real mother could spare, and he despaired because he didn't know her fate. And then he thought of Jane, as strong of mind as a human could be, but fragile and short lived.
The woman gently tapped the fan over her hand, the sound bringing Loki's attention back to her.
"I've seen many apprentices coming to my doorstep seeking guidance and teaching," she said, as she slowly paced along the room. "Desperate and broken. Most would find what they sought, but others became prisoners of their own plight, and what was once a virtuous wish turned into a dark obsession, destroying them."
She turned to him, her face a cold mask.
"Were you a human, I would offer to train you, if only to help you control your power; but you have already acquired most of the knowledge I'd be willing to teach. I can, however, cast a ward over you, so you can regain your strength without any danger."
"What's the catch?"
"There is no catch. I'm not doing this out of the kindness of my heart, mind you, but thinking first and foremost about the safety of my world. You are a potentially dangerous being, Loki of Asgard, not only because of your power, but because of the many possibilities that lie before you."
"Aren't we all?"
She chuckled, a brief, restrained sound that had no mirth in it, and disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared; then she threw him a poignant glance.
"I do not possess the power to see into other people's futures, but I know you have spent all your life believing there would be only one single purpose worth attaining for you. You are a skilled sorcerer, yet you insist on using physical weapons like your brother and you father."
"He's not my father," Loki hissed.
"And yet you seek his approval," she said scathingly. "You desperately want his acknowledgment, but in seeking it so frantically you might never attain it. Such is the paradox that has blinded you. You have the potential to either sow death and suffering, or rise as a savior. I am not here to discuss philosophy with you, nor am I to guide you down any path, but I want you to be aware that there are many choices still before you."
Loki smiled wryly.
"And you pretend that I turn into a sanctimonious, righteous hero, just by talking me into it?"
"No," her green eyes danced with amusement. "There's another human besides me, who is younger and closer to your heart, who surely has an opinion on that matter. That conversation is not for me to listen, but I suspect she won't look kindly on your intentions towards our world. Tell me, have you stopped to think what would Jane Foster say about it?"
"Leave her out of this," he growled.
"No, because she will suffer the same fate as us. Or were you thinking of keeping her in a safe, privileged place while the rest of us are in chains? She might be a woman of logic and science, but her sense of justice is just as strong. The choice is yours, but rest assured that she can tell right from wrong far better than you."
Her hands moved as she talked, tracing a patter in the air which shone with golden sparks. The woman clapped her hands once and closed her eyes, murmuring an incantation: A magic ward. The pattern dissolved, and the golden lights flew around Loki, enveloping him and vanishing into his body.
"You will be protected until your own natural wards are strong enough," the woman said. "No go, and remember the crossroads ahead of you."
The woman disappeared before Loki could say anything, as well as the temple and the trees outside. Darkness enveloped him once more as he felt again falling into nothingness.
He woke up in the middle of the night, his mind still confused by the strange dream. The chills he had been suffering since he woke up after breaking the seal were no more, and magic felt again as the warm and comforting force he had always known.