Chapter 12: Heartbroken
Marc didn't get much time to process what happened. The sight of Maybelle alone stirred Steven back up awake and the moment he noticed her distressed expression, he went up front.
"Maybelle?" he asked confused, not yet fully awake.
May's expression went dark. She snarled one angry "Forget it!" and shoved the crutch into Layla's hands, then turned on her heels and left.
"Fuck, Steven", Marc cursed from the headspace. "You never told her about me? About Layla?"
That's when it dawned on Steven, how this whole situation must've looked like to her. He left her house early without saying a word and now she found him with a basically naked other woman at his place.
Steven cursed and ran after May. His panic was rising, alarm bells ringing already, waking in you the urge to step in, to help. But what could you do? It was partly your fault this situation existed in the first place! Marc wouldn't be able to help here and the less said about Jake, the better.
"May! May, wait! I can explain!" Steven shouted after her.
She didn't stop. Her footsteps echoed in the empty hallway, too fast, too determined to hear him out. She didn't even turn around.
"Oh, can you?" she scoffed, her voice tinged with disbelief, a laugh escaping her—self-deprecating, bitter. "Explain how you're actually married, how that's the reason you never invited me to your place? How you've lied to me all this time? No thanks, I understand perfectly well!"
"Please," Steven begged, his voice cracking, and he overtook her in an instant, standing right in her path, his bare feet shuffling against the cold floor, still in his pajama pants.
"Please, it's way more complicated than that! You have to believe me."
"Oh do I!?" she shouted, her eyes burning with anger, disbelief still twisting her face.
"Well, uhm, you don't have to, no," Steven stumbled over his words. "I'd understand it if you didn't... But please, at least let me explain. Two minutes. That's all. I swear! If you never want to see me again after that, I'll leave you alone! I... I love you, May. Please, just... two minutes," he begged again, his voice softening as he took a step closer.
May folded her arms tightly across her chest, her body rigid. Her face was cold, unreadable. "Fine, two minutes," she said, her voice icy.
You knew what was about to happen before Steven even opened his mouth. He was going to tell her about his condition.
First Steven himself, then Layla, then Dr. Moore and now May too – far too many people had learned the dark secret in too short a time. You felt yourself trembling. This was a horrible situation! It wasn't even a controlled environment – it was a public corridor, where anyone could walk by at any second, could hear Steven spill his guts. Everything in you screamed to switch him out, to take over yourself if need be. But you knew if you did that, if you stepped forward to shield him, he'd never forgive you for it. Steven might not know details about you but he had an idea now that you were there.
And for once, the idea of Steven hating you was more terrifying than the idea of any outsider finding out and hating your boys – even if it was Steven's girlfriend.
"I... I have this mental... disorder," Steven started quietly, his hands wringing together. He was avoiding her gaze, unsure where to start. "Dissociative identity disorder. It means I share my head with... with two other people." He hesitated, glancing at her, measuring the distance between them. "I go by Steven. Another goes by Marc. The third... doesn't come out often. The point is, it's true that Marc is married to Laya but I'm not. I don't even truly know her. I can count the number of actual conversations I've had with her on one hand." His throat tightened. "I fell in love with you."
May's arms stayed crossed. Her eyes hardened, her jaw clenched. "That's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard—"
"Exactly!" Steven interrupted her, the words rushing out in a panicked flood. "Exactly, May, why would I, why would anyone make up something like that?! Please... please believe me." His voice broke slightly. "I didn't know I even had DID until a few months ago. I didn't know I wasn't the original personality. I... I just had these huge memory gaps in my head, and papers in my flat that weren't on my name—and... and Marc and I have been growing closer, we're trying to make it work. Trying to share a life. But he, understandably, didn't want me around his wife. I kept him out of our dates. We've just been... taking turns, keeping our lives separate. And I would've told you, I swear I would have, it's just... Not really something you tell on a first date, is it?" He gave a nervous, weak smile, his eyes pleading with her. "I... I know how this sounds. How it looks. I wouldn't make this up. I just... I didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone just because Marc happened to be the one to get married first. I wanted to have a life, too."
May's brow furrowed, and she stared at him like she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You said you kept this... Marc out of our dates," she said slowly, her voice full of skepticism. "But yesterday, you said you were having memory troubles. You were asking if you behaved strange around Peter and me."
Steven froze, caught. His face went pale, and he stammered, trying to find the right words. "I... That is... I did but... T-There is a third alter. One we've only recently discovered, and we're not really... not yet on... on speaking terms."
May's lips curled into a tight, almost mocking smile. "You want to tell me," she began, her voice sharp, "that when you were with me, or that sometimes when you were alone with my nephew, you might've had a sudden personality switch that you can't even remember? Do you have any idea how terrifying that sounds?"
You wanted to sink into the floor and die.
"I—It's not—I—I can't control it, it..." Steven's words caught in his throat, his hands trembling. "I didn't mean to—"
"Steven," May said, her tone serious now, cutting through the uncertainty in his voice. "That makes it worse."
Steven shrank into himself, the weight of her words visibly crushing him.
"If you can't control those personalities of yours," May said, her voice now hard as stone, "then I can't trust you around Peter. I can't trust you, period. And I can't be with someone I don't trust."
"I... I will learn to control it," Steven said miserably, his voice barely a whisper. "It's working between Marc and me. I just need some time to... to get to know this third one... I promise I'll figure it out. Please... Please, just give me a chance."
"Does your wife know about you? About me?" Maybelle asked.
If possible Steven looked even more miserable. "Y-Yes... I... When I learned the truth about Marc, when I learned about Layla's existence, Marc made it pretty clear I was to stay out of that part of his life. So we made an greement that, that it should be okay for me to find my own partner. Marc only agreed to that after Layla did."
"So it's okay for her to know but not me? Steven, I'm sorry but that is something you should tell someone on the first date! It's too much to spring on me when I already... It's too much!" May's voice broke and she shook her head, her expression pained.
"I didn't mean to," Steven whispered, his voice breaking as he took a step back, his eyes pleading with her. "I never wanted to hurt you. I just... I just wanted to love you. I wanted to be with you."
"Even if you didn't mean to hurt me, you did. And I... I can't keep doing this. I... I have to go home now and I have to ask Peter about every single time he spend time with a complete stranger and what they did because you don't remember. This is going to be the most terrifying conversation I'm ever going to have. And you did that, Steven. You made me feel that way." She pushed him aside and walked past him, toward the exit.
"May... May, please," Steven called, reaching out with a shaking hand. But she didn't stop. She didn't even turn around.
"Stay away from me, Steven. I don't want to see you anymore."
And with that, Steven's panic meter reached critical levels and Marc jumped in front.
"I'm so sorry", he said, having witnessed everything.
"I... I love her, Marc", Steven said, tears running down his face in his little blue-framed screen. "I was so stupid. Why did I ever think I could have a normal life?"
XxX
You had never felt so miserable in your life.
You loved Marc and Steven, you loved them so much. You had never thought you'd ever get a chance to actually have a relationship with them though. At first it was because you thought that was just not something the game was build for. That it would just crash or throw you out if you ever tried to reveal yourself because hiding the DID was one of your jobs. When more and more people learned about their condition, when Layla discovered you and the boys learned about Moon Knight, that assumption was proven wrong. Yet it didn't matter because even if it wouldn't crash the game for them to know, it would still be a major hindrance to your attempts to keep them alive.
The compromise you'd offered Layla had resulted in a strange in between peace for all but five minutes. You were suddenly given the opportunity to contact the boys under the combined mantle of Moon Knight, claiming both your and Jake's activities for your own. Obviously you would have to be the one to do the actual writing because Jake was terrified at the mere thought of possibly being rejected. He had all reason to, or so you'd thought. You'd believed that adding you into the mix, adding your actions on top of Jake's violent ones would make it better, that it would make Jake's existence easier to accept.
But Marc and Steven were surprisingly alright with the idea of a physical protector, someone who fought to keep them alive. They didn't like that Khonshu was involved. But at least they hadn't turned themselves into jail or worse, an asylum. Steven had even argued the case in favor of not repressing them.
But then May broke up with Steven. And that wasn't Jake's fault - that was yours. She broke up with him because of you and Steven knew it and now he was heartbroken and scared and feeling as much guilt as Marc did on a bad day.
Jake had never been the problem.
You were.
"David... Come on, it's not your fault", Jake said when you told him the story later that evening, updating him on everything that had happened in between rivers of tears. "You were just trying to make a friend."
"I should've just left them alone. They don't need me anymore", you sobbed. "They're all grown up now. I just make everything worse!"
Jake huffed and then he left the camera field and it took you a while to notice that he was gone because you were too busy crying. But then the door to your room slammed open and Jake stood in the door frame, tall and broad-shouldered and with his silly top hat on his head.
"You're not making everything worse", Jake protested and came towards you. He pressed the switch on your PC, turning off the monitor showing Marc and Steven, who were working on a plan to integrate Moon Knight into his life.
"Hey-" you protested weakly, because you had to watch that, it was important -
But Jake grabbed the armrests of your chair and rotated it so you faced him instead of the PC. "Forget about that, David. You need a break too sometimes, you can't concentrate on them right now anyway."
You hung your head, feeling miserable. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I... Maybe I should just quit the game. Leave it turned off. Let the story develop on its own. They're better off without me..."
"That's not true. David, that's just not true", Jake said strongly. "You have helped them both so much. You've saved their lives how many times?"
"23 times", you sniffled.
"See? Your tally is even bigger than mine!" Jake claimed. But you knew that wasn't true.
"That's a lie, you save them way more often." Not that you kept track of it or anything.
"Not if you don't count the times I got them into danger in the first place, no", Jake insisted. "And it's not just them. You've helped me so much, David. Especially lately. I don't know what I'd be without you."
"But you're different", you lamented. "You're a real person."
"So what, just because I'm a real person I don't count?" Jake asked. "What kind of logic is that? If anything, shouldn't I count more because I'm real? You help me with my insecurities all the time. You helped me face my fear. I defied bloody Khonshu because of you. You and me, yes we protect the boys but we also protect each other and that is at least as important!"
You grabbed a tissue and loudly blew your nose and Jake mumbled "Come on" and put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close. You hugged him somewhere around his waist, still sitting on your chair and sobbed into his camouflage jacket.
"You can go to sleep for a bit if you need to", Jake said, holding you close. "I can stay here if you want. I can watch over the boys for you. But please... Please don't just leave."
Sleep... Sleep sounded amazing right now.
"But I... I have to apologize to Steven", you mumbled. "I wanted to write him a letter. I didn't mean to make things horrible with May. I was just... I wasn't thinking, I was just... "
"You were feeling lonely", Jake said what you couldn't even put into words properly.
"I have you", you protested because the last thing you wanted was for Jake to think some game character was more important than him.
"But I'm a real person", Jake said sadly.
"Y-You are but, but you still count", you said. "You're my best friend. My brother. I don't... I don't have any other family, so..." And that made a fresh wave of tears well up because you had no other family and why did that hurt so much? It wasn't like you'd ever had a family.
"You want a friend out there too. A life, out there", Jake said. "I get that. I want that too, sometimes."
"You do?" you asked. This was the first time Jake had ever admitted such. "But you hate people."
"I don't hate people", Jake made, shifting awkwardly. "Well... Maybe I used to. I just... grow anxious when I'm around people I can't beat up. And if it's people that are important to the others, that's even worse, because I'm afraid I'll mess things up for them. But... Lately, I think I've been better. I've been out a few times, at night, past your bedtime. Doing small things. Going to a 24h diner, visiting my garage, driving. You... You can meet interesting people, at night. And if it's one on one, it's not so bad, talking to them."
"Oh", you made, too tired for a stronger reaction. "I... didn't know. That's, that's good for you, I think. Even if you're taking away their sleep time again..." You'd always thought that you were watching the boys all the time. Sure, there were a few years you'd skipped and you turned off the screen when they were with their partners. But other than that, you were playing the game full time. No wonder Jake was always sleeping at day when he sneaked in to play alone at night.
"What I'm trying to say", Jake said, "is that it's okay to want to have more of a part in... in that world. I think it's natural, isn't it? I mean, look at Steven. He started out as just this clueless, not even really person but state of being and now he's right up there with Marc, having his own job, his own girlfriend-"
You winced and Jake rubbed your back some more. "Sorry, niño."
"Steven's different though. He's not-"
Jake huffed. "If you say he's not real one more time, I...!" He let go of you and clawed at the brim of his hat. "He's real enough, okay? Why else would you feel bad for hurting him?"
That was true. The game was an awfully good simulation with people reacting to everything you did with all the complexity and emotions of an actual human being. AI was just that good. This wasn't your ordinary game where you could save and reload either, it was online and live and every mistake you made, you had to live with that.
"Okay... Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry", you muttered. "I... I'll have to make it up to him somehow."
"You can do that later, niño. They're not going anywhere", Jake reassured you.
Well that was true. At this point, the damage was already done and a day or two wouldn't make much of a difference. You doubted Steven would have the strength to come out for a while anyway.
"Come on. Sleep a little. Tomorrow's another day." Jake helped you over to your hammock and pulled a blanket from somewhere and put it over you and it was warm and cozy and exactly what you needed.
"Stay with me?" you asked again, even though he'd already said he would. "You'll watch over the boys?"
"I'll watch over the boys", Jake said and pet your curls and you closed your eyes. "All of them."
XxX
AN:
Say it together with me: Awwwww!
Jake is so sweet to David. He's just really reacting like the kid he is. Yes, he's messed up and made a mistake that might cost the boys a lot. But he didn't do it on purpose and it's not even fully his fault anyway. Steven should've told May earlier. But again. It's understandable that he didn't, isn't it? They've only been on a handful of dates at this point. And yeah, May's somewhat harsh to Steven, but also, that too is understandable because from the little information she has, knowing one of Steven's alters might've hung out at her house without either of them knowing is scary.
The only person who'd probably shrug it all off with a smile is Peter himself. It's hard to be scared of your Aunt's boyfriend, even if he is acting a bit weird, when you have superpowers.
And no, in case you were wondering, may at this point does NOT know that Peter is Spider-Man. That would be too easy.
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