"I can't stand him anymore! He's just so freaking frustrating … he always makes me feel like I'm losing my mind somehow! How can that entire annoying attitude fit in only one person?" Clary complained to no end as Simon tried desperately to understand why the heck was she so mad? Well, anyone would be mad being married to Mr. Prince Goldilocks who was the only person in all Idris capable of driving crazy to the most peaceful and kind person.

"He's not a person, Clary! He's a devil in disguise. But anyways… what exactly are you wining about now?" he had to ask so he could somehow agree to all that she was saying. Clary turned into pale white for a moment.

"Uh, well… do you remember that yesterday was the ritual of my first night?" she started with a shivering tone as she played with one lock of her red hair, looking down. Clearly she was ashamed about something, Simon felt as his heart fell to the floor.

"Yes, but you told me you wouldn't let him touch you!" he reminded her, jealousy burning trough his body like blood itself, if Jace had dared to even see her without permission he would regret it! And it didn't matter if he was the future king or whatever!

"And I didn't! Well, not so much …" Clary answered shivering.

"Not so much?! Clarissa Adele Fairchild! You let him practically rape you?" he shouted jumping from his old couch to see her eye to eye. There was no way that could be true, not his best friend, not his little Clary… not with that bastard, no way!

"No, it wasn't like that …!" Clary tried to explain herself but Simon's confusion and fear wouldn't let her.

"Then how was it, mutual? Don't try to fool me, Clary! Please tell me you haven't let them change you so much! Tell me that they haven't made you believe that you're going to have all that great romance with him! The fact that he is a Crown Prince doesn't mean he's a gentleman!" he went side to side around the living room almost losing his head, he couldn't believe it! Clary didn't even have 18 yet and she already faced the risk of becoming pregnant! All because of her crazy family in law, it was all their fault! Everything that had happened that awful last month was their fault.

"I know, Simon… If you could just listen to me one moment…" Clary needed to be heard by someone urgently, but how could her if no one let her talk before they began with the scolding?

"I don't need to listen to anything of it, Clary! I don't want to! It makes me feel sick to even imagine that you… and him… Uh! I cannot even see you that way!"He said disgusted. Those last words penetrated into Clary's mind leaving her indignant.

"What way?" she asked.

"You know what way!" he answered.

"Oh, so you can't see me in the place who actually be loved by someone?" she said annoyed.

"You think that confusing bullshit he says to you is love? How stupid are you?" he turned to see her with his furious eyes and hers began to gather up tears. He sighed "Pumpkin, I'm sorry… you know I didn't mean that…" he approached to hold her in his arms.

"No, you're right… I've been such an idiot these days, I don't know what to think anymore" she sobbed softly hugging Simon, it almost broke his heart to see her like that.

"Ok, now you can tell me what happened, you needed to let this all out and I exploded… I promise to listen to you" he said trying to comfort her.

"I'm just afraid of my own feelings, Simon… We didn't really do anything but… he kissed me, and I kind of felt something that… Shit, I'm not sure of what it is and if it is what I think I'm just screwed up…" she said whipping her tears. 'Oh no, please tell me you don't… you cannot… be in love with him… not for real, please no!' Simon begged inside his mind.

"You're far too smart to fall for his mind tricks, Clary. He just doesn't want everyone to think that his marriage is a disaster…" he said that really hoping that it would be him to believe it, he just couldn't bear the idea that Clary would be falling in love with someone else.

"That's exactly the problem! I don't know why he does everything that he does and he confuses me and I confuse him and this is just so painful… and I can't tell it to anyone inside there. Now, Alec's all the time looking for Magnus and Izzy is a good person but I don't trust her enough to tell her those things… and I'm just so lonely…" her voice broke again. That was just cruel, Simon though, having such a wonderful and kind and funny and adorable girl… A treasure inside the palace! But having her in a cage where she cannot be happy, he had always thought that Clary was one of those people that needed to be taken care of and loved because there was no way not to love them.

"And what am I? A wall?" he asked sarcastically, she giggled.

"No, dumbass! You're my freaky, weird, adorable and busy best friend" she said grabbing his cheek strongly.

"So it's all a matter of time, uh? Clary, you know that if you need me you just have to send me a text or whatever and I'll be there for you" then he had a kind of flashback 'I'll be there in ten' but that was when Isabelle appeared.

"Yeah, sure… I told you yesterday and what the hell did you do? Nothing! She answered, and he couldn't blame her for feeling betrayed at that.

"Something showed up, I'm sorry. But it won't happen again, I promise" he assured her, Clary rolled her eyes, not really annoyed but somehow hurt.

"No, I understand you also have your life… and I have to stop charging my problems to other people like a little girl… I'm married for the Lord's sake, I'm turning 18 in a question of months, I have to grow up!" she said frustrated, Simon held her hand.

"But that doesn't mean you have to do it alone, pumpkin" he smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Good to know that there's at least a few people that are sure that they love me" she said with a chuckle resting her head on his shoulder. 'At this point is that I wonder what does love really mean?' what she couldn't and for sure would never know was that Simon was as confused as she was.

"You're in terrible trouble, Isabelle Sophia Lightwood!" screamed Robert to her when Izzy was barely starting to get conscious; she looked down, she didn't need to see with her own eyes to know what was happening on the room, Alec had his face hidden in his hands so his shame wouldn't show, her mother saw her with sad and worried eyes but she was not hurt or brave enough to intervene, and her father? He was the devil itself. "What were you thinking getting drunk with some dumb friend of your cousin's wife!? Is that the image you want to give to your people? Is that the image of the sister of the future king of Idris?" Isabelle let out an indignant giggle but still not facing him.

"Father, I already told you that Izzy was feeling sad, she obviously did it to release some pressure" her brother tried to help her as always, it wasn't that Izzy didn't have anything to say or that she feared him, in fact! She had much to say! But what she was truly afraid of was the thought of who would be affected if she dared to open her mouth; she had had already a taste of it. Let say that after sending her to Switzerland on her own at the age of sixteen wasn't exactly pretty.

"Shut up, Alexander! I'm talking to your sister! He answered angrily; then he approached her and took her by the chin.

"What do you have to say about this?" he asked with his eyes showing pure rage, it made her feel sick, who did he think he was to judge her? He wasn't an angel or nothing more. When she didn't answer, he insisted "Answer me, you foolish child! I'm your father! What exactly were you thinking? Where have you left your pride? What does loyalty mean to you?" his shouting almost left her deaf, and she was glad somehow, she was tired of hearing his words and know that they still broke her heart even though anything that he said was true.

"Who are you to ask me that?! What makes you think you have a say in what I do or not? When you're the one who's betraying your own blood! Your own brother's pride, your own nephew's life… your own father's wishes… you're shattering all of it! You're turning your back to those who gave you everything you've always had! If we have love and safety and a place we belong to it's because they gave them to you! How can you be so selfish? How can you be so wicked?!" she said in tears, for what she could listen to her side, her mother cried as well, Alec was completely frozen. Robert released a sarcastic chuckle and let go of her.

"Children, uh? They don't know anything about life and they think that they can discuss with you… Think better about the things you say and when you say them, Isabelle. I remind you that there have been worse treators than me… I'm just trying to give you a better life, that's all" he turned to see outside the window, that's how Izzy knew that he thought he had already won, but he was wrong.

"Better life my ass…" she said wiping her tears "You'll regret this one day, father. Because when all of this ends, when you don't get what you want, when you've given up everything for a mere whim, when everyone is tired of you and your power madness, you won't have us there for you, none of us. "She threatened knowing it was true. When his father little and pretty glass sphere made of lies and betrayal where his family was kept would finally break, there wouldn't be anyone who would want to stay in there knowing that they had a chance to be free from him. It was just needed some time until everything broke down, and it was worth to wait, of course it hurt. But the truth obviously hurts.

"You children go to your rooms, I'll fix this" said her mother trying to keep calm. Izzy didn't wait for Alec to follow her, she wanted to be alone, but before shutting the door strongly behind her she added a little warning.

"You dare to touch mother or the baby and I'll cut your hands off" she said and left without giving Robert time to continue with his useless scolding.

It wasn't tears coming down her eyes as she practically ran across the hall to her bedroom, it was all her anger, all her hopes being tear of her heart one by one, all the shame, all the disappointment, all the hatred and frustration. But what hurt the most was her memories, because what we have lived, loved and known is what has greater chances of destroying us.

It had been years ago that Robert was still a good and fair man, it still seemed like yesterday. She remembered, it was a beautiful spring day when her father had taken Izzy and Alec to play in their grandfather's garden, which now was Clary's favorite. Robert tried to catch them as they ran around the flowers, Alec was of course like a lightning, but her father was had been fast enough to catch his small daughter in his arms and give her kisses on the cheeks as Izzy writhed with laughter.

"I've got you, honey!" he said excited.

"It's not fair, daddy! You always catch me and not Alec!" little Izzy complained but still showing a bright and beautiful smile on her face.

"It's because you're slow like a snail, Isabelle Sophia!" joked her older brother.

"And you're ugly as a duck, Alexander Guideon!" Izzy answered when her father put her down, she fixed her hair and flower patterned dress, just like a lady.

"You should spend less time with your cousin, children, you're already talking like him…" said Robert sitting in the grass sounding kind of preoccupied, Izzy sat next to him.

"Why don't you like Jace, daddy?" asked the baby girl, it hurt her that he wouldn't let them get along with Jace.

"Izzy, mom told you not to say those things…" reminded her Alec as firm and prudent as always.

"It's ok, Alexander. She needs to know…" he took her tiny hands in his and gave her a tender smile "Darling, you know that I love you more than anything in this world, right?" he asked, Izzy nodded happily. "And what have I always told you?"

"Love, respect and protect your family and what belongs to them" she answered automatically; she knew that lesson as well as she knew her own name.

"Exactly, baby, exactly. Well, you know that daddy is also a prince like your uncle Stephen, but unfortunately I cannot accede to become a king, precious! Does that sound fair to you?" Izzy shook her head sadly "Not at all, but as I love you and want you to have all the best in life… we must not get along with those who betray their own blood, to those who take advantage of others and take away what wasn't theirs in the first place" he continued sounding more serious. Izzy got confused.

"But Jace is not like that" she answered.

"Your cousin Jonathan is a Herondale, dear. And all the Herondales are the same… Selfish, arrogant and evil"

Back then his accusations to the other half of their family weren't so serious compared to the problems they were having, although it was the same somehow. Isabelle did know that her father hadn't been the only one planning an overthrow, but the fact that he was doing it to those who were his family made her feel sick, the fact that he had tried to get into her mind as a little child was just disgusting. Robert had such a twisted vision of what family meant; she just couldn't believe that her sweet and kind father had turned into that revengeful and heartless man.

"Well… selfish, arrogant and evil sounds like you to me, daddy" Izzy said to herself and fell to the bed as she cried her eyes out.

Jace didn't talk or see Clary for the rest of the day, he was inside his bedroom reading Frankenstein for the eighth time that month, he felt sorry and also envied Victor's story, he lost everything he had for one little mistake, but at least Elizabeth loved him somehow! What did Jace have? Nothing! And it wasn't him who had created a monster. He decided to let her calm down and have fun with her friends before he came up to "ruin everything" as she had meant with the last words he heard her say. It was frustrating! Jace gave his heart to her in a silver plate and she just threw it away! Why? He couldn't be sure! Was she afraid? Was she embarrassed of what other could think? What on earth was it?! It was like people had always said: Good things in life come the hard way. But this was just too hard for him… He wished he would know all those "normal" flirting techniques every guy should know, he wished that she would've gave him adorable glares at school, and then he would've asked her on a date that would've finished with them both kissing hidden from her mother; the thought of holding her hand, hearing her laughter, hugging her tight when she was cold, dancing with her at some friend's party, to him that sounded like heaven but heaven was far away from him. He had always wanted to be a normal guy with normal experiences, but now he desired it badly! Just to show Clary that he was also a human being, that he could love, feel jealousy or pain, have his heart broken and that kind of stuff that happens to everybody! But why couldn't she see that? He had been the most vulnerable in front of her and still she wouldn't let him in, what else did he have to do?

'Maybe we should just… stop trying…' Clary's words sound inside his mind. And what if he stopped trying? What if he came back to be the Jace that Clary though he was? It just seemed useless and painful, but if that's what she wanted…

"You'll have to give it to her, Herondale…" he said in low voice and for the first time in 9 years, he felt the uncontrollable and heartbreaking need of crying, crying out loud and breaking anything that was close to him, letting rage and sadness fly out of his body like dreams do when you lose them. She was his dream and now he had to let go, not because he wanted to but because he needed to know if she would even be willing to go back to him. He had to try, but no one said it would be easy.

Aline was glad somehow, her life had taken a sudden change. When she got out of the hospital and felt the wind hit her face softly it was like a leap of faith, a sign that she had been cured not only in the inside but the outside. She was happy! For the first time in more than a month she was truly happy and excited to start a new, she smiled and she looked even prettier than she did when she was angry and revengeful all the time. She had though that all that joy was because she could finally own her life, not her mother, not Jace not anybody! It was hers to make and to live and from that day on she would decide how to live it even though it was hard, she was willing to never go back to who she had been.

And that all turned into something really serious when she saw her at the coffee shop. Sebastian had told her to meet him there so they could catch up and talk a bit, but as always she got there before he did. It was destiny that she had sit in front of her, the cute bold like girl with blonde hair and pale white skin, she was cute and Aline had to admit it, but there was something special in her, something that made her heart race when she turned to see who was staring at her hypnotized, Aline blushed and her eyes went to the floor, she heard her giggle. Where had she seen her before? Oh, right! At the party! Just after Jace went to chase his wife and she followed him to see whatever he had been doing, they were supposed to be Clary's friends but they hadn't been invited. It was the same girl, how come didn't she notice how pretty she was? Well, it was because she was head over heels at the thought of having a secret romance with a prince, and you see how well it turned out.

She decided to stop glaring at her before she misunderstood Aline's intentions, but by the angel she wanted to look at her again! To get lost in those deep blue eyes and ask herself… What the hell was she thinking? And she did, but not the way she would've wanted. She heard a pair of heels approaching, which was strange because due to himself, Sebastian would never wear heels. She looked up and there she was, her heart stopped for a bit.

"Do you want a picture? It lasts longer" she said with a playful smile and annoyed voice tone.

"I didn't mean to … I-I'm so sorry" that was strange, she never hesitated while speaking. Her eyes went down again and she sat in front of her.

"Don't be… you're far too adorable for that" said the blonde girl chuckling, her laughter was somehow calming and Aline smiled even though she didn't want to. And then she realized what she just had said.

"Excuse me?" she asked shocked at how ashamed she felt.

"Weren't you just…?" she began and stared at her for one moment before smiling again "Oh, I understand… well, I was on my way to my friend's house now so I just came by to drop you a little something" she stood up fixing her already perfect hair. "I hope it helps you somehow" she sent a blown kiss to Aline as she turned back and left with her friends who wouldn't stop asking about her. She opened the napkin she had left on the table; there was a telephone number and a very special message at the end.

"You look nice when you drool over someone. Helen Blackthorn" Aline couldn't help of releasing an excited giggle, it was very strange she had to admit it, but she was happy so who cared! She needed a fresh start, and she thought that the little message could be just the beginning of a new perfect life.

Clary felt a little more relaxed the next day. An afternoon of movies and chatter, a little tequila with her friends and a good night of sleep without uncomfortable thoughts had been just perfect for her to get hack her humor, after stretching a bit she got out of the bed with a huge smile on her face and took her phone from the nightstand to send a message to her family: "Felling better than ever, thanks for the advice!" Luke and her mom had been so crazy over the idea of their little Clary sharing bed with a stranger, but they had told her that she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to and Clary knew they were right, so she did everything she could to stop Jace from touching her thing that at the end of the night didn't matter so much, but even though it had been a complete mess, she didn't regret a thing.

"Highness, time for breakfast!" when Amatis called her at 7: 30 like every morning, she didn't feel pissed or tired, she was just ready and that left Camille and Annemarie completely surprised at seeing her coming out of the bedroom clean, fully dressed and ready to start the day. She usually didn't even open her eyes without the help of her maids.

"Good morning, ladies" she said walking through the hall looking like a real princess.

"Good morning, highness" they said instinctively but didn't even make a bow because of the shock. Clary entered to the dining room and she felt happy when the warm sunrise that the windows showed hit her face. Jace was already there but contraire to her, he looked shattered and had enormous bags under his swollen eyes, what had he been doing the other night? She felt kind of worried but that wasn't enough to ruin that precious day.

"Whoa, did little Jace have nightmares or something?" she said sitting in front of him like every day.

"Kind of…" he answered, how strange! His usual playful and annoying tone wasn't there when he said that. Clary sighed, if she wanted to keep happy and worriless she'd have to fix some mistakes she had done earlier.

"Look, Jace. About yesterday…" she began but he stopped her.

"Don't say anything about yesterday, it's useless… I understood your point very well and I don't really need you to repeat it over and over again. I'm a mean and selfish person who stole your life away and you'll never feel something that isn't hatred for me, I got it. You don't want to try to even be friends anymore? That's fine for me! But don't keep reminding me how awful you think I am" and there they go her good feelings. Had she been that horrible yesterday? Was that the message she had given to him? No doubt of why he looked so terrible! She had acted like a total bitch.

"I'm sorry …" she whispered not even being sure if he had listened to it, and she wished it would've been like that, but she kept the rest of the sentence to herself "I'm sorry to be a pain on the ass when you haven't done anything wrong, I guess I just wanted someone to blame for all the pain this has caused me, but you are as hurt as I am … I'm sorry because I cannot know what I feel for you and still I want to see you as fun and hateful and arrogant as always…"

"You seem to be feeling good today, highness" said Amatis with a bow entering the room. Clary just smiled at her. "Her majesty Queen Celine has asked you to check some documents today so tell me when you're done with your food so we can start"

"Of course" she tried to recover her joy, but while seeing him so hurt… by her! It was just sad. 'Stop it, Jace! You're making me feel like shit! It was you who kissed me not me! Don't make me feel guilty! Don't make me want to take you in my arms and... Wait, what? Are you hearing your own thoughts, Clarissa? That's pitiful! Who cares if he's hurt, he's a jerk and you know it! Don't let him fool you like he did yesterday, you're smarter than this! Remember what Simon said…" she recovered her strength, what could also mean pride… or so she thought.

Clary had taken Amatis to her favorite garden so she could check the "Most important than your own damn life" documents that her mother had given her.

"Well, highness. To begin with we have your aunt's pregnancy ceremony…" but Clary's thoughts got away as soon as Amatis talked. There was a special window which she hadn't seen before that showed the inside's of Jace's personal training room, and who could be there trying to release some pressure than Jace and Alec? It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if she could just have taken off her naughty eyes from her husband's perfect and shirtless body.

'Oh, by Raziel! You mean that all that is mine? MINE? My God, look at his chest … and is strong arms! I can't believe he was holding me with those just last night! And those abs! Not even when I was in school I got that kind of six packs! Oh, just look at the way the sun reflects his eyes, he looks so cute, he's so perfect and he's mine! Those wonderful lips so full of love and I just want to kiss him over and over again and I can't wait to … By the Lord! What the heck, Clary? Do you realize what you've just thought? You're weak, Clarissa Herondale! WHAT? Fairchild! Clarissa Fairchild, you meant! You've lost your mind! You've tasted blood and you want more! This is bad, so bad!'

"Highness? Highness!" called Amatis, and she was forced to wake up from her dream.

"Oh, yes… about Maryse's pregnancy, right?" she asked trying to mend her awful mistake.

"God, I think that getting no sleep last night didn't help at all, am I wrong? You should take a rest, highness. We'll continue later on" Clary smiled to herself as she walked away and got inside the palace again. Clary approached the window carefully and bend a bit so they couldn't see her. Who would've known that Jace had any talent besides being so proud about his own self? Personal defense wasn't something easy to learn, but Alec and he were just precise and quick as a lightning! Clary used her artist abilities to keep every detail of Jace's figure inside her mind, she wanted to draw him for sure, but for the first time in her life she doubted about if she could accomplish it. Every expression, every muscle, every movement he made… they were all far too perfect, too precious, like a wild but fair lion, too much everything for her to keep her feet on the ground, she lost herself in him over again, like she had done the first time they danced, she melted into his golden eyes and wondered what was about him that made her feel so insane. So safe sometimes, so hurt other times, so confused all the time. She knew for sure that he wanted him, but why?

"Princess!" someone whispered behind the shrubbery. Clary turned; disappointed that he had to look away from Jace. It was Camille, Clary had wondered why did she look so mad all the time, she could swear it had started when Alec told her he liked Magnus, but it was just a theory, nothing to be sure about just yet.

"Something wrong?" she asked, Camille shook her head and made her a signal so she would get close, she would've gotten there faster if only her dress wouldn't have been so big.

"You know that her majesty banned you from sending letters to your brother or friends so you could focus on your duties… but still more packages are entering the palace secretly…" he told her and Clary understood the message. Her mother in law was tired of Clary's "immature" behavior, and Clary was also tired of her somehow. She could take her friends, life, hopes, dreams and freedom away, but no one would dare to even mention her family without her permission.

"Annemarie's in my room waiting, isn't her?" she said, Camille nodded again, it was dangerous. Clary thanked her as she made a bow and ran to her bedroom, maybe reading her brother's words would help her clarify her mind.

"Quickly, highness! Mr. Starkweather might see us and you won't like if he tells it to the Queen!" reminded her Annemarie, acting as innocents as always, Clary couldn't help to feel a burning rage inside her heart when she saw her, everyday!

"Princesses don't run, remember?" she said threatening as she took the package from her maid's hands.

"Is everything ok?" she asked, as if she could really worry about someone who wasn't herself. Clary refused to see into her liar's eyes.

"Yes, yes, of course… but could you say so about your own situation?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" she tried to hide her nervous tone, she failed and that only made Clary get even more pissed about her.

"Just remember, Miss Highsmith… Playing with matches a girl can get burned..." she said giving her a death glare and got inside her room closing the doors behind. She sighed as she rested her back at the door trying to calm her "redhead fury" as Simon would've called it. She looked at the enormous package she had on her hands and walked to her desk to open it. She looked at the book Jonathan had sent her, she couldn't believe it! She raised it to confirm she wasn't dreaming and a little note fell from it.

'Guess it might be a bit late to wish you a happy first -month Anniversary, Angel of Idris… But still enjoy your present, little sis'

I love you, remember that!

PD: Try not to get your delicate princess hands while turning the pages with your precious fingers! (Just kidding, don't hate me!)'

The book was a copy of the bedtime tale that her mother used to read to them, and that every kid in Idris knew even backwards "The land of the Angel". She didn't even need to open the book to remember how it began.

'You'll be surprised about hearing the story of how was your town founded, child. St. Raziel had given his own blood to simple and plain mundanes that had the dream of ending with all the evilness of the word, the mortal cup shined bright that day when they drank from it and the raze of the Nephilims was born. That's what makes us all special, we're nothing but humans and still we have the blood and the land of the Angel like if we were worthy of them…' Clary could still hear her mother's sweet words inside her mind, feel the warmth of the bed she rested on, sense her brother's hand holding hers and being annoyed by the brightness of the night lamp; she felt like she was a little girl again, it felt like home. She took the note and turned it around as she noticed that her brother hadn't written his name and stupid nickname at the end of it, he never forgot about those two.

'Erchomai…

Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern Fairchild aka. Sebastian Morgenstern'

To be continued…

Dreamer.