"Oh God… Simon, I …" Clary tried to say something, anything that would make it better, she had misbyen him for so long, if only she had known it before…
"Don't, there's absolutely nothing to say… I just hope that… you think better where the heck are you going with all this romance you're making up" and he hung, leaving Clary feeling nothing but guilt and regret, she almost threw the phone on her bed and hid her face on her hands. She was hopeless, but she didn't want to cry.
"What am I doing wrong, for the angel's sake?" she asked to herself. 'Actually, that's the smartest question you've done in more than a month…' her mind told her, she scowled, she needed help… the professional kind, and there was only one person who could help her, she knew about the topic and wouldn't scold her if it wasn't really necessary. She picked up the phone again and wrote a text message:
Maia, I'm about to go crazy! You have to help me, please! Call me when they guys are gone, okay? I'm begging you!
"Should I ask?" Helen was the only one who had the courage to speak after Simon's little and pitiful scene over the phone.
"I think you should just shut the fuck up…" Maia answered, her cell phone made a sound inside her pocket but she couldn't even blink.
"The good thing is that… she finally knows how you feel about her!" said Kirk as annoyingly positive as always.
"You want to go on with the rehearsal or should we go…?" asked Eric being completely clueless about what he should say, such great friends he had, really! Simon sighed and threw his cell phone away.
"Fuck it… I always knew she didn't feel the same" he plugged in the guitar to its amplifier and tuned the strings.
"Now we know why he plays with so much passion" commented Helen fixing the microphone cable so it would stop making that awful noise.
"When you're hurt… anything works to release the pain…" said Eric and they began to play, not exactly a song that would help Simon with his problem, but as long as he could play well and Helen sang with her heart, nothing could be so bad.
"Now I will tell you what I've done for you, Fifty thousand tears I've cried; screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you. And you still won't hear me.
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself, Maybe I'll wake up for once; not tormented daily, defeated by you. Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom. I'm dying again…"
"Knock knock" said someone at Alec's door, Jace had gone to another boring meeting with his father and Izzy decided to go have a talk with her grandmother, as she always knew what to say.
"Come in" he answered with his eyes on the book he was reading. Magnus came in silent and agile as a cat and sat right next to him.
"Should I come later as his highness is so busy with his reading?" Alec laughed at what he said and turned to see his boyfriend's begging eyes.
"Maybe you should, you know that I can't talk and read at the same time, and I'm rather better at reading than talking..." he joked, Magnus kissed him on his forehead.
"Well, that's too bad… I just wanted to see how are you feeling" he answered playing with Alec's dark hair; he was his favorite combination: blue eyes and black hair, yes, he was picky about his partners; but he thanked that… he still wondered how could he ever had dated with Camille?
"I'm fine, why?" he asked taking Magnus's free hand.
"Oh, you know… just the normal stuff… Your overly annoyed sister, your frightened and very pregnant mother, your psychopath and jealous to death father, and that tiny secret of yours that so terrible and painful that you'd hang yourself from a tree if anyone found out… If I was you I'd be losing my head, darling…" he reminded him, as he wouldn't think about it every second of every day.
"Who says I'm not? You're the only one who gives me a little peace…" Alec confessed and he smiled sadly.
"You could help me with that, you know? Baby, you think I can't notice how upset you are about this? I may have more glitter than brain inside and on my head but I'm not that stupid, Alexander…" he stroked his cheek gently.
"Of course not, Magnus… I just … I want to stop being a problem for everyone…" he said while flushing, something his boyfriend loved dearly.
"You're not the problem, Alec… you're just the unlucky bastard who's at the middle of the entire situation, but that's because you're a good person…" Alec looked at him with questioning eyes, like wanting to listen to some more as he didn't get his point at first "You don't want to disappoint your father and you want to protect your mother and her unborn kid… but on the other side you don't want to betray the guy who's always been like a brother to you, you don't want to hurt your grandmother and you don't want to let your sister down…"
"How do you know all that?" he said a bit shocked about what Magnus had said.
"I know you, love… and everyone would feel like that if they were in your situation…" he assured him, Alec sighed.
"Well, what I need now is a solution… I really can't keep this up anymore; I'm tired of being at the middle, Magnus, really. I've always been at the middle of everything; I want to be out, I don't want to hide, or lie or pretend anymore… I want to own my life" for a moment he thought he'd cry, but it wasn't worth it.
"And you can, honey… you just have to see which way is better for you. You know that I don't want to repeat the speech that Isabelle tells you always but I'm going to tell you this… I know what kind of person you are, Alec, I know what kind of feelings you have in your heart and I know for sure that you'd never hurt anybody you love… So this is actually up to you… who are you going to be? Which way is best for you? Which option will hurt you and the rest less than the other will?" he asked him hoping he would wake from his nightmare this time.
"I just want to be free from them…" he whispered.
"You'll be… and when that happens" Magnus took him in his arms kissing him tenderly "You'll be all mine" Alec smiled and kissed him back.
Isabelle's plan was to fake a smile so her grandmother wouldn't notice anything bad, and she could take a rest from her suffering. But she could push herself to it, there was a big hole being dug in her heart and it was really hard to hide it, she was angry and it hurt terribly. Imogen sighed worried.
"By Raziel, I've never seen my princess so hurt… What's wrong, beautiful?" she made Izzy look into her eyes.
"Grandma…" she said emotionless, willing to get an answer no matter what it would cost, if she had to reveal everything at that precise moment, she would. She was tired of keeping it to herself "How much does love last?"
"What kind of question is that?" her grandma asked giggling a bit.
"An important one" she answered looking down to her dress, she had to accept that Magnus was great at what he did; she might've looked beautiful on the outside, but on the inside… she was just broken.
"Well, when it's true and uninterested… it lasts forever, dear" she answered with a smile.
"And does that apply for any kind of love?" she asked at the border of crying her eyes out again.
"What do you mean?" said Imogen confused and feeling a bit guilty of not being able to answer such questions.
"Does a husband love his wife forever? Does a father love his children forever? Does a man … actually love something enough to never let go of it?" that last thing was something every girl asks to herself, but in this case it was a lot more necessary to get an answer.
"I already told you, dear… Look, Isabelle, my darling… You must not think of men as an unknown and dangerous specie… Keep in mind that we're all human after all…. And all humans are able to love, to sacrifice themselves for something good, to protect something or someone tirelessly; that's just our nature, dear! But as we can do such wonderful things… we can also make mistakes, my love… But if you're good enough to forgive any mistake, then you have nothing to worry about…" she assured her, stroking her granddaughter's tense cheek.
"And what if there are mistakes so big that can never be forgiven?" was her last doubt.
"Oh, baby. Any mistake can be forgiven… but not all can be forgotten, it's different" Imogen's Herondale characteristic attitude went out at that minute: Loving, fair, giving herself to those she loved… but still being smart, and that was what Robert couldn't see, he was trying to end with a family he barely knew.
"So, your point is?" she needed to resume all her grandmother had said.
"Forgive everything always, but don't you ever forget one single thing… learn from those things, become stronger… so they'll never dare to hurt you again" and Isabelle kept those words deep inside her, she knew what she'd have to do if the situation got ugly, she wouldn't be afraid of threatening her own father if she'd had to. She would forgive him for becoming such a terrible man, but she wouldn't forget what he had done to his family, never in her life.
"Today, we'll talk a bit about The Circle's Rebellion, I'm sure you've listened something about it, highness…" began Amatis with her afternoon classes the next day, Clary was a bit tired, she had spent three hours talking to Maia about her love life problems and early that morning she had had a test about Textures and Colors with Professor Malik, it wasn't easy to be a student, wife, princess, friend and girl at the same time.
"Well, my mom mentioned something about it once… but I was still a child so there's not much I can know about it…" she answered, trying to hide the fact that she had listened about it but still she wanted to know more; Amatis smiled and opened a folder with hundreds of documents about the Rebellion, what surprised Clary was that there wasn't any pictures of the members of it.
"The Rebellion began in 1988 when the first attempt against the Royal Family took place, though some people say it had begun much before when The Circle was first formed; and what was The Circle you might ask" she said with her teacher voice tone.
"You read my mind" responded Clary.
"The Circle was a small group of students of Alicante Academy whose wishes to end with the monarchy went far from being just a desire to become the greatest and most awful overthrow attempt of all Idris's story; children of the angel against their own leaders, blood against blood. It was terrible" said Amatis, Clary shook to her bones; like that she knew that she wanted to know everything about it. "So, here we begin… May 11th, 1988 … VM, known as the leader of The Circle, sends his people to the palace to send a "message" to King Marcus who already knew that he was in a terrible situation by finding himself in the very first stage of his sickness, the perfect moment to start a Rebellion, the line had been drawn in the sand; the Royal Family knew that there was a menace and they'd have to do something about it. The next three years, the activity of the Circle was nothing but small threatening and signals so King Marcus wouldn't forget they were still there. This constant warnings and dangerous activities were also an important factor for the birth of the Lightwood family, as Lady Phoebe decided to marry Andrew Lightwood in within this period of time to prevent her son and pregnant wife from being attacked by The Circle; but it was December 1989 that the final advertisement was sent, The Circle would go for them and kill both Herondale and Lightwood families as they had royal blood running through their veins, VM also commented that the new Crown Prince wouldn't be harmed, just taken away from them as a "gift" for the family, as he said; This led to an uncontrollable terror inside the palace, as your husband hadn't been born yet the only one who could've been called a "new" Crown Prince at that time was your cousin Prince Alexander, this grew the family apart even more and Prince Robert demanded his father to decide who would become the Future King of Idris, you must know well what he answered, so Prince Alexander was known under the name of Lightwood. In the end, The Circle's intentions were actually misunderstood, the brake down in January 1991 led to a massacre in which we almost lost our newborn Crown Prince, unfortunately most of the criminals escaped as no one was able to acknowledge that they had been part of the Rebellion, the leader was never found either; but we remember that period of time as a lesson for those who think that can get away with betrayal. Later on we'll study this deeper, any question?" Clary was a bit shocked. How terrible was it to fight against someone you couldn't even see? No doubt of why did King Marcus's sickness advanced so much after that, she wondered exactly when he had made the promise with her grandfather, but she wanted to know more about the Rebellion also, much more.
"Many, actually… This history lessons are really breathtaking!" she answered.
"You thought that the job of a Princess is boring and tiring? Think again, highness" Amatis winked at her and Clary smiled; "Well, for now you're dismissed as I promised, the Queen Mother told me to let you have some free time and that's what I'll do" she got up from the chair, made a bow and left. Clary was surely disappointed, if her situation was different she could've been at Simon's house hearing how Maia yelled at the guys for not staying focused on the song and joking too much about everything, it was hilarious! But now she wasn't even sure about wanting to see Simon… she had so many things going round her head, maybe… her cute grandmother would help a bit. She got out of the giant library and walked through the hall carefully so she wouldn't step on her dress and fall down as the great disaster she was. She got to the Mother Queen's chambers and knocked the door.
"Come in, please" answered Imogen sounding happy. Clary came in with a huge smile on her face, which turned into an uncomfortable scowl when she saw Jace sitting next to her holding the same pictures she had once seen on his hands. "Oh, princess! What a great surprise!"
"Good afternoon, majesty" she said with no emotion.
"Come sit for a bit, dear. The Prince and I were talking about those times when he was a kid!" she said happily while pinching her grandson's cheek. 'Well, that's ironic' thought Clary remembering the words she had heard from Amatis just 5 minutes ago, she sat next to her feeling unable to even stare at Jace, she was unsure about what was their relationship at that point and with all the fuss about Simon, she didn't even want to think about him!
"Grandma, that's a private matter!" complained Jace awkwardly.
"Oh, you break my heart, Jonathan!" said Imogen sadly "You should've seen those times when my little Jace spent the entire afternoon singing to me, it was so adorable! Now, he hardly ever comes to visit!" she protested, Clary imagined a five year old Jace dancing around the Queen's room and singing crazily, sure that must've been cute, she giggled.
"I'm the Crown Prince, not Superman; I cannot take care of my responsibilities and you at the same time!" he answered angrily, what an excuse.
"I miss my babies… now they're all grownups and all they talk to me about is their heart troubles and stuff…" said Imogen and Clary almost fainted, what heart troubles? Who had told her that? When had she listened to something like that? And most important… WHAT THE HECK HAD JACE TOLD HER? Though she wasn't even sure of whom she meant with all that speech.
"I actually would've liked to see Jace's little show" said Clary as if she was taking revenge, with a cruel smile on her face. Jace's eyes became widely open at hearing her words.
"You see? Your wife wants to see you dance, get up!" ordered Imogen and Clary tried hard not to laugh insanely.
"That's not going to happen, I'm 18 now, and I'm a man… And men do not sing lullabies to their grandmothers…" answered Jace looking away from the two wicked women sitting next to him.
"Ok, then, macho man, I'll help you if you want to" Clary got up and took Jace's hands in hers, willing to get her pay off, but still she felt weird with the touch of his skin, like the world has stopped for her to enjoy his warmth.
"Grandma!" he complained once again.
"Oh, shut that cry baby mouth of yours and tell me what song was it!" demanded Clary.
"It was the Shadowhunter's rhyme, dear" answered Imogen joyful, Jace felt even more uncomfortable and froze where he was standing.
"Really? My mother also sang that to me all the time! We even listened to it at school" she said feeling happy about her childhood memories, those were good times. "Oh, come on sing it with me!" Clary said to Jace smiling, he couldn't refuse.
"Alright" there was no kid in Idris who didn't know the rhyme. They both began to sing with the little choreography they both had been taught when they were children.
"Black for hunting trough the night, for death and mourning the color's white, Gold for a bride in her wedding gown, and red to call the enchantment down.
White silk when our bodies burn, Blue banners when the lost return.
Flame for the birth of a Nephilim, and to wash away our sins.
Gray for knowledge best untold, Bone for those who don't grow old, Saffron lights the victory march, Green will mend our broken hearts.
Silver for the demon towers and bronze to summon wicked powers".
Clary laughed joyful when their "show" ended and Jace was forced to show a smile while seeing her, Imogen was also pleased with their small gift.
"You both are great together, really" their grandmother said, and they both stared at each other, knowing how right she was.
"Nothing can go wrong with a good partner, you know?" Jace said to her, but his eyes still looked at Clary with adoration, and hers… well, she lost herself in them again, so deep, so full of secrets and exciting stories to tell, so many things about him she wanted to discover. Imogen understood what was going on between them and got up from her favorite couch.
"I believe your mother just called me, dear, I'll go check on her" she said and left the room.
"You … have a pretty voice…" said Jace awkwardly, Clary smiled to him.
"You're not bad either, Goldilocks… let's say that you're talented when it comes to music…" she hit him softly on his arm in attempt of getting closer to him.
"And you when it comes to painting, Alec showed me that picture you made for him… it was amazing" his voice broke down when he realized how close their faces were and she didn't seem to care about it.
"Thank you… I guess there's some things I just love to do…" her voice tone went lower and her words disappeared into thin air when her lips touched his, softly, experiencing at first… she felt safe like that, his arms surrounding her like a fence, her hands on his chest feeling his rushed heart beat at the sensation it provoked to both of them, she had wanted to kiss him again for so long, but she didn't have the courage to see how wonderful it was to have him close, only to herself, forgetting about the outside world, like that they weren't nothing but two lovers in desperate need of each other, with him she didn't feel lost anymore, he was the only certainty she could have, she was surprised that it felt so meant to be with both of them, if that wasn't love what on earth could it be?
She shivered with that thought and her mouth got apart from his.
"Did I hurt you?" asked Jace nervously.
"No, I just… I'm sorry…" she covered her face in shame and got out of the room, losing her head over the strength of her own feelings 'What was that? What does it mean? We're you even aware of what you were doing?' she asked to herself. When she got to her room she didn't even think and dialed Maia's number.
"Clary? What the heck, girl? You want me to spend another three hours trying to explain to you what's obvious to everyone?" she complained, Clary snorted worried.
"Only you can understand what's going on inside my traumatized mind, Maia, please! Remember that all the friends I've got are guys and one of them must hate me badly… and you know that Helen is not that smart when it comes to men… please!" she begged desperately.
"Ok, one… Simon couldn't hate you even if his life depended on it and two… just speak before I regret agreeing to help you when you actually need no help, I can notice" Clary didn't pay attention to her insinuations and continued with her own dramas.
"I kissed him" she confessed shameless and quick, Maia took a deep breath.
"Wait a minute… You did what?" she asked so she could finish believing it.
"What you heard! My naughty lips didn't listen to my head and they practically got off my face and met his with such passion that I couldn't even breathe with the feeling of it!" she yelled at the phone.
"Well, there's your answer, Clary…" Maia said completely calm, as if it was evident and there was no chance of doubting what the hell had that kiss meant.
"By Raziel, what answer? What is that fucking answer everyone talks about every time I mention that Jace makes me crazy? I know nothing that's why I ask!" she said shaking in frustration.
"But you just said it… God, you're so blind when it comes to guys and relationships… If you don't want to hear then you'll see… Stand in front of a mirror, ok?" ordered Maia, Clary scowled.
"What's the point of that?" she stood in front of the mirror hang next to her enormous closet, she looked so annoyed and confused over nothing, even she was getting tired of herself.
"Just shut up and listen to me, you foolish kid! Now, we're going to do a little experiment, okay? Look right into your eyes…" she did as Maia told her feeling even more foolish than she already did "Now, what happens when I say… Jace" Clary's eyes suddenly seemed to glow at hearing her husband's name, she felt weak and a sigh escaped from her mouth; she woke from her enchantment.
"What was that? How on earth did you do that, Maia?! Are you a witch or what?" she said terrified by the way her body reacted to Jace's name.
"No, I'm a girl and I'm your best friend, you idiot! And I didn't do anything it was you, can't you see? You fucking like him, Clarissa! Accept it! He drives you crazy and your pride is such a pain in the ass and that's why you can't admit it… The end!" Maia said as if she was reading it from a book, so sure with no doubts about it.
"Oh, dear… You're right…" she finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The problem wasn't Jace, it was her and her fears about him, all that confusion and concerns where mad up by her because she wouldn't take what was really going on, she liked Jace, there was a part of him that she adored, or rather she just adored him… with all his flaws and arrogance, he was perfect and she knew it, she wanted him… badly. "You're right… and by the Angel, I don't just like him… I freaking love him, Maia! I'm in love with him!" she screamed.
"Goodness gracious… Thanks to Raziel! At last! It has been a month of denial and you can finally say it out loud, it's truly a blessing, babe!" she seemed relieved, and Clary just didn't know how to feel about it.
"What am I supposed to do now?" the door for her was fully open, now she knew the path she had to follow but how?
"I don't know, rejoice about it or cry your eyes out, it's your choice, I think I've done enough already!" scolded her Maia, but anyone would've done it if her friend was totally doubtful.
"I'm so screwed…" Clary said and fell on the bed softly.
Clary kept her eyes wide opened for the entire night, being unable to process the giant and very hard to admit confession she had done, how come hadn't she realized earlier? Who had known it before she did? How long had she felt like that? But the most important question to answer was: Did Simon know? Was he hurt t or was it just because she was a pain in the ass to everyone? … So many doubts but absolutely no reply. The next morning Camille and Annemarie tried not to scream while finding their crown princess in a zombie -like look, Clary couldn't help of feeling empty, like all of the facts that should've made her look alive had gone away; she walked terribly slowly to reach the limo where Jace was waiting for her, she didn't even dare to have the idea of thinking about him. And things got only worse when the recess bell rang, she went to meet Eric, Kirk and a very angry Simon as always, but she looked down all the way, she sat next to her best friend feeling too tormented by her own painful situation than his.
"I always knew you belonged to hell, but seeing you look like you've just came out of it…? Not something so good to know…" joked Helen, she didn't even notice that Maia and Helen were there too.
"What are you doing here? This is a private school…" she answered shakily, Helen let out an indignant chuckle.
"Don't have I the right to come visit my friends when I feel like it? Well, I'm sorry to disobey the law you've just created, highness!" she answered.
"I just happen to know you all very well, you're my best friend! If you wanted to see us you would've just called and now we all would be drinking your father's liquor in some street's corner… Point less for you, Blackthorn" Clary said closing her eyes, she felt very tired, two nights with no sleep wasn't exactly a very good way to have patience with your very annoying friends.
"She's right…" accepted Maia looking a bit guilty while being the only one who knew what Clary's drama was about. "Simon told us that he wanted to practice the new song and we came that's it… don't worry about it, we didn't flee our class"
"I'm sure that's not what's bothering her; spit it, pumpkin…" told her Eric, Clary opened her eyes.
"Spit what? I cannot do that, I'm supposed to behave well…" she replied with her head resting on her hands, she was all done for sure.
"Yeah, that's what my parents have told me since we knew that one of your husband's ancestors married a Blackthorn… and look at me now, I couldn't be more of a disaster!" said Helen smiling, Clary remembered the day that she had told Helen that Queen Lucie Herondale had married Jesse Blackthorn to prevent her brother's overthrow, she had wondered how couldn't they have known, maybe that part of the Herondale's story was erased as many other things she still had to discover.
"Don't try to fool us, Clary. WE just happen to know you very well…" continued Eric making emphasis on the word "we".
"Point less for you, Fairchild" ended Kirk, Clary snorted bothered.
"Look, I just don't want to think about it, ok? You've all made pretty clear that you've had enough of my endless complains and if I start talking you'll hear once again how miserable my life is and you'll end up hating me even more than you already do, and I don't want that… So I'll just shut the hell up and I really hope you do it too because I'm also tired of myself and drowning everyone with my troubles and making them think I'm such a selfish and mean person for only caring about me and my shitty existence, understood?" she talked lowly but still the fury showing in her voice tone, her friends nodded shocked. "Okay, then." Her head fell to the table.
"But I don't really think that the trouble is us…" said Maia looking at the table that was in front of them, not feeling able to breathe.
"Why?" asked Clary still hiding her face on her arms.
"Let's just say that we have no luck at all…" responded Kirk ashamed. Clary raised her head to see a confused Jace staring at her with a mixed emotion of fear, anger and pain.
"Give me a break!" she sighed and covered her face a bit "Is he still looking?"
"Yup" said Helen.
"How about now?" she covered her face entirely with both of her hands.
"He can't take his eyes out of you" said Eric making her shiver in shame. "And it's just about to get worse" Clary gathered up courage to see what was her husband up to. He completely lost himself and stood on his table making everyone in the cafeteria look at him like he had lost her mind.
"Dear school mates, young hearts of Idris, my brothers and sisters, children of the Angel… You may all think that as a prince, I don't have any of the problems that a normal teenager does have, well let me tell you that you're completely wrong, actually! Besides from those teenage problems I also have to deal with the concerns of being the future leader to an entire country… but let's focus on what's really important… and I'm sure that all of you will understand this, specially all of you guys my age… hasn't happened to you that you give your heart in a silver plate to this awesome, beautiful, smart, brave and adorable girl and she just leaves it there, beating and almost bleeding with no other protection than the sweet scent of her? … Yes! She does absolutely nothing! For a moment you think she'll welcome it with her arms open and the next thing is that she rejects it and builds up this giant force so you can never get close to her… It's frustrating I know! To feel empty and knowing that she can notice but she won't do anything about it… So, I ask you this, to those who've had the unfortunate experience that I've also had… don't you think we deserve and answer? For painful or marvelous it can be… I rather hear the truth and break myself in thousand pieces than waiting for nothing for a second longer…" Clary's friend's jaws fell to the floor at hearing his speech and herself was even more red than blood itself while everyone looked at her… she wanted to be swallowed by the ground, but she exploded instead, she got up fiercely from her sit and went to meet him feeling more decided than she ever had felt in her entire life.
"Help me up or I'll drag you all into jail only because of the fact of being friends with this dyed blonde bastard" she told to Sebastian and Jordan who quickly helped her get up on the table and talk to his madly in love friend, she was furious what else could she have said? "Just what on earth do you think you're doing?" she yelled at him, letting all her worries out in that sentence, but Jace wasn't in a very good mood either.
"This is an intervention, Clarissa… And I'm not letting you go until you give me a full and concrete answer, I'm tired of your shit…" he answered; Clary breathed heavily like a bull seeing the damn fool that intended to hurt him, the celestial fury that ran through her veins and her rabid heart took control of the situation and her terrified brain almost fled with the fury of its own owner.
"Oh, so you're tired of my shit? Well, let me tell you Mr. Herondale that you also drive me crazy with all of this! Who do you think you are to expose our personal issues with the complete Academy? If you wanted to tell me anything you should've just done it in private, you reckless jerk! Have you lost the tiny piece of mind you had left? "
"Yes, I have! And guess what? It's your fault! Cause every time it seems that you'll finally tell me what the hell is going through your mind about the idea of us you ran away like a scared rabbit! If we're alone you just go away without saying a word and if we're with my family you pretend you're just too shy to say anything! It's now or never, Clary! You love me or you kill me, do it!"
"Do what? What do you want me to say, for the angel's sake?"
"The truth! That's everything I've always wanted from you, I want to hear what you truly feel! I want to know if I'm wasting my time trying to make you love me as much as I do!"
"I just don't…" she began again, but he didn't let her finish.
"Yes, you do… I know you know, Clary! And we're not leaving here until you say whatever goes through your redhead mind!" and that was enough for her to decide to put an end to all that stupidity.
"You want to know, really?" she asked him as the final warning.
"I'd fucking love to, thank you very much!" he answered losing his patience.
"Fine, then!" she took him by the collar of his shirt and their lips met in a passionate kiss, the world stopped the moment he felt her kiss against his mouth and forgot about everything happening around them. Nothing else mattered and they wanted nothing more than keeping that feeling of being so close together, that beautiful feeling of knowing that both of them died for one another, they wanted not spend a minute else without thinking about how much they wanted each other. he had patiently waited with his hopes about to shatter, and she just wanted to stop pretending, at last she knew what she wanted ... and it was really him ... with all of him that sometimes drove her crazy, all his arrogance and his very irritating sarcasm, she wanted him completely ... with his honest and open heart, and feeling willing to let him enter hers.
"I said you love me or you kill me… but I think you did both…" he answered smiling; she opened her eyes to meet his.
"I'm sorry I made this so awful for you… I was scared, Jace…" she confessed, Jace embraced her tenderly understanding how hard it must've also been for her. "I didn't want to make a fuss about this… and I wasn't sure about anything but I don't want to hide it anymore" she broke the hug and took his head on her hands, smiling with happy tears gathering on her eyes. "You do deserve a chance… and I also want to give it to you"
"For real?" he held her hand that still rested on his cheek.
"Yes… I swear on Raziel, Jonathan Herondale… that I won't spent one more day without letting you know how wonderful my life is now you're around… there is no turning back and I don't want to go back either… If I accept now that I'm really crazy about you, then I never want to pretend that's not it ever again…"
"You won't regret this, Clary… I'll make sure you won't…" and he kissed her again, while everyone in the room clapped insanely.
The end
Not really!
To be continued…
Dreamer.
Hello, dear nephilims! First of all as always I must apologize because I didn't upload the 19th chapter on time and I'm really sorry for that, but I've just finished my half school year exams and I was so tired and worried about everything that I didn't have time not even to blink! So I'm sorry, but here it is! I know that you must've hated me for making you wait so much but it's really fun to play with Clary's mind, I won't lie! And I guess she just needed some time you know? I mean I know that Jace lost himself the moment he saw her or maybe when they got married… I don't remember exactly when he fell for her but still! They've been just a month together, geez! But ya'll know they're soul mates here and in Mars and in the lost dimension so… from now on it'll just be the most cheesy and heartwarming romance of all! I hope you're as excited as I am but if I have to be honest… just remember that Robert is a motherfucker! But they love each other madly and that's all you need to know, haha! Also I've been thinking that Malec is already settled, just recently the Clace and all that I'm missing is Sizzy and I really want to focus in that as Simon is all heartbroken and he's also one of my favorite characters (after my dyed –blonde- wannabe –goth- weirdo of course!) and I love him and Izzy is just my hero, and I love them so freaking much! And they deserve their own happy ending (something that Cassie didn't give them in CoHF, just kidding!) so yes… I'm going to make it work! And remember that I told you that I didn't really know how to get Valentine into the story? Well, now I do! You must know what I'm talking about so yeah, we'll hear from him and our beloved Sebastian also! So last but not least… as always thank you so much for following the story I really love your comments and how much you complain with the fact that I play with your fan hearts! Haha I'm sorry, really! And please tell me if you liked this chapter! You think that Clary's confession was enough or did I miss something? Thank you all, kisses for you and I'll "read" you on the next chapter! Goodbye!