Long ago, Izzy sure had enjoyed looking at her reflection on the mirror, when she had no reason to feel guilty about a thing, when she could forget about the darkness of her life, when the hidden truths or painful secrets were just shadows following her but she didn't notice, now she felt eaten by those shadows, fighting against them on their insides, trying so hard to stay pure and do the right thing, pretending. She barely recognized herself, she had never looked so unhappy, so lost, and drowned in a glass of water that she and nobody else had gotten into.
"Beautiful as always…" Alec smiled at her from behind. That day, they'll have their first interview since they had gotten back to Idris, Izzy whore a short turquoise dress with rhinestones decorating all the cloth to her waist, and some jewelry her father gave her as a "gift", that she took more like something blackmailed.
"On the outside of course… You know? People have told me sometimes that I was a filthy bitch hidden behind a pretty crown; I never really believed them, I knew I was worth much more than that, I didn't have a reason to listen to such accusations but now… I think I know what they meant… I'm trying to death not to regret this, Alec" it's painful for anybody to hide the sea of feelings one has while being hurt, what it's like to close our eyes tightly to prevent any tear from falling or even showing, trying to be strong like a stone and feeling like cotton on the inside.
"Nobody said it'd be easy, but still you're going through it, and even if you don't believe me… you haven't complained about it once, at least not with someone that wasn't yourself…so, if you want me to remind you, You are truly worth much more than what they say or will say, no one will understand it until it's done and that's something you'll also have to carry on your shoulders, and that's something I've always envied from you…" her brother showed an ashamed smile to her and look down, Izzy turned to see him, surprised.
"You, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, have been jealous of me?" luckily the expression on her face didn't show so, or the conversation would've lost its serious tone.
"Yeah, I might be the older of the three, now four, of us royal kids but… there was always something inside of Jace and you that I couldn't comprehend, how could you go through dangerous situations, risky things and stuff without doubting, you didn't think of the consequences, there was just something inside you both that encouraged you to do it, and you were never wrong, never took a misstep, and even when the others reprimanded you, you felt victorious… I know how you feel, sis, and I perfectly know the reasons why you're doing this and if I haven't gotten the chance to say this, I'll say it now…" he took her shaky hands, caressing them with his thumbs, always showing a warm and loving smile to her.
"Well, I'd say there's not much left to tell me but, what is it?" she asked giggling
"Thank you, for doing this for us… mother, Jace, Clary, Max… and me" she had been looking to the ground, not feeling worthy to see his precious and merciful eyes, but when he mentioned himself, she had to look up. "You did free me from being someone I didn't want to be, from trying to become a version of myself that was more like father than the person I've been or ever wanted to be; and if only I had thought about what you did before, this could've been over long ago; still things are what they are and I know you won't look back until this is over… And you won't be alone, ok? I know you from head to toe, Isabelle Sophia, and if there was a tiny piece of evilness inside you, I'd be the first one to tell you… but there's no such thing." how sweet from him, seeing her as if she had never done something wrong, but the truth was… she was as guilty as any other human being in the world.
"Brace yourself, bro… this is far from finishing" she held on strongly to his hand, as a hope for her to get to correct everything she was doing before it was too late. She didn't even want to imagine it, the look on her family's face, Stephen showing deception with no wishes to hide it, the angriness of Celine, the fear from Imogen, but most of all… the betrayal on Jace's and Clary's faces, it was just too much. After some time, the assistant of the program called them to the stage. Izzy took one deep breath once again, 'As if lying was such a hard thing to do, Raziel knows that's your newest hobby, Isabelle… you have no reason to try to defend yourself'
"Hello, everyone and thank you for watching us, today we have two very important and remarkable guests… let's welcome their highnesses Princess Isabelle and Prince Alexander Lightwood!" Michael Wayland was a well known name on TV and all Idris, his family was another one with big legacy in their little yet lovely country, but as any other TV host, he could be quite insufferable sometimes, still Izzy liked him, he had personality and that was enough to succeed in the media.
"Hello! Michael, what a pleasure…" she entered with a huge smile and waving to the audience that cheered until they were breathless, then offered her hand to him, and he took it obviously covering it with gentle kisses.
"The pleasure is all mine, highness…" then he turned to her brother to shake hands with him, and all of them sat together in the big and comfy armchair covered with cream colored velvet, and for what she could sense had been recently put. "First of all, I think we'd all like to thank you for joining us, and of course congratulate for the recent birth of your brother Prince Maxwell…" Michael looked from them to the people as they all smiled and clapped; Izzy sighed happily at hearing her brother's name, her little piece of heaven, Max.
"Thank you very much, Michael, we feel really blessed with all the happenings we have lived until now" Alec had that something, that one quality that made everyone feel safe, happy and calm from just looking at him, she wished she had something that made her that special. Jace was awfully handsome, Clary was sweet and playful, and Max! Max had everything on his tiny hands, he was a baby! And she? Well, she was a good actress…
"Talking about that, prince… We're truly interested on the definitive separation of the Herondales and Lightwoods… is there something you'd like to say about this?" so, they haven't been there for more than three seconds and he was already beginning with such questions.
"Well, I must assure you that all that we know is what everyone knows too, my father…uh, did believe this was a good change for us and I think his opinions should be taken seriously, and his majesty managed them fairly as it was meant to be…" of course they'd try to be as honest as they could, but they were just mere hostages, saying and doing what they must do so their lives don't end so quickly.
"Ah, Prince Robert, sure… we all know that the three of you have always been very close, and with a new son, I'd say that he must be happier than ever! How do you feel about this, princess?" all stares inside the studio went to met hers.
"Sorry, what was the question?" she was a bit lost as her mind had been writing on an imaginary sheet of paper the things she had to and didn't have to say.
"How do you feel about your father's latest decisions? Do you have any problem with what's going on?" he said that without hesitating, no sign of regret or discomfort in his voice, Isabelle asked herself fiercely: why? Why do the ones who know nothing live so careless? He could ask so calmly because he had nothing to fear or hide, but she? She was almost falling off a giant as hell cliff, one misstep and she'd be pushed into the void.
"… I'll be completely honest with all of you… my father, has never wanted anything more than protecting and taking care of his family, that I'm absolutely sure… of course, we always make mistakes somehow, and those are more likely to happen if we want to accomplish our goals so passionately and restlessly… but those he keeps them only to himself, he knows the weight of his decisions, what's up to him is up to him and what can I say about it if I've never been on his shoes? … and if I must talk about the Herondales, I'm completely thankful for all they have done, did and will do… they have always treated us as equals, our differences have hardly mattered when talking about our personal relationships, still… there will always be that unpleasant feeling of… division, and if there's something we can do to erase that we will… I will, even though is hard I'll make sure they all know how… lucky I feel to have belonged to such environment where love is an essential fact of each step they take… the road we're about to take will have many obstacles and troubles, but there's always a way… there's always a way to get it right…" she hadn't noticed she had been crying, but her cold tears brought her back to reality, she had said that, she hadn't lied a bit and it hurt, it hurt because she couldn't say all of the truth, just bits of it. Like moaning quietly when all she wanted to do was to cry out.
"This is the kind of moments that make me wonder what kind of people enters our sacred home!" Celine's yelling had become an everyday thing for Clary, and that was really bad, not even her mother had rebuked her as harsh as she did, and Clary was working her soul off, she was awake until early morning studying her lessons, she sleep for only four hours and then went to the Academy making an inhuman effort to stay awake and do her work, the way back to the palace was a nightmare she shivered and sweated and felt terrified with just the thought of her mother in law's eyes, she didn't even eat lunch as her stomach closed its doors because of the fear and nervousness of its owner. The lessons were like being tortured with acid or being whipped; she was trying hard but Celine didn't appreciate it, she wanted to see her version of perfection on her, but Clary couldn't give her that.
"Majesty, her highness seems to be awfully tired, if you could let her rest maybe half an hour she'd do much better…" and Amatis noticed that, but she was hardly ever allowed to speak. Clary stared at the book she had in front of her, her eyes had bags under them and they didn't show that cute gleam she used to have, she was pale and had lost a bit of weight. She wasn't enjoying herself as much as she had done before, without the Lightwoods was hard… but having Jace so close and yet so far it was almost impossible for her.
"That's nothing I should concern about, if her highness cannot organize her time to do everything she must then I guess her learning hours at the Academy should be reduced…" that was what made her go back to life.
"What? No, please, don't majesty! I… can do this, I just… I didn't get much sleep last night but I'm alright… I swear on the Angel, I can do this…" swearing on the Angel when you're not sure about your words, yeah, not a very good idea.
"I know you can, but you don't seem to mean it, princess… Laziness is something I can hardly handle, if I must pressure you more then I will…" was she for real? 'Laziness, is what she said? … Do you know how hard I've tried to become what you want me to be?' Her tired mind complained.
"Don't you believe this is more than enough?" and she was far too annoyed and exhausted to watch her words.
"Could you say that again, please?" she had been walking all over the library, and only stopped after Clary talked.
"Majesty, I know how important is for me to behave, speak, think, sit, eat, walk and even sleep as a royal… but I'm also human, you know? There will be a time in the future in which I'll make a mistake, I'll do something stupid and I'll be judged and I'll have to ask for forgiveness… and you, or I or anybody will be able to help it, don't exhaust yourself so much… After all, what you see is all that I am, and I promised I'd try to be as great as I can be… but I'm not a machine…" she spoke with a silly and small smile on her face.
"No, you're not… and you most certainly are not just another human being princess, you are the human being! There's a level of yourself you have to work to accomplish, and if I cannot change you I'll change your ways… You have 15 minutes, not more or less…" great, now she was mad. Clary sighed and tried to stand up too quickly, she was forced to sit once again because of the dizziness that spread over each cell of her body, Amatis ran to help her.
"It is fine, highness come with me…" she took her hand and helped her to get to the dining room; she sat her there and asked for a glass of water… and also something sweet for her. Then, as any good mother would do, she placed her hand on Clary's cheeks and forehead. "When was the last time you ate a consistent meal?"
"When I was inside my mother's womb…or so it seems" she tried to giggle but her whole body was shaking.
"So, now you can see what your one true love's mother is made of…" Clary appreciated a good joke, even while dying on the inside.
"Tell me about it! What kind of Greek tragedy did she start in that made her so cold hearted?" Clary took the glass of water on her hands, refreshing her hands with the coldness of the glass.
"All people have their own story, highness, and that is only shared with one significant other… but talking about Queen Celine, no one can be sure about a thing…" she understood what she meant, for what she had heard Queen Celine had been such an adorable girl when she was just a Crown Princess, she didn't have much reasons to change so drastically, and that was the question… what the hell had happened to her?!
"Wait, so… you think she became such a hard person to deal with because of… King Stephen?" even while being so abused by her mother in law, there was some things that Clary couldn't help but noticing. Amatis stood there for a moment, as if her comment had made her of stone, she didn't even blink like a statue.
"W-What is exactly that you mean?" she didn't turn to see her, her eyes just went to the floor, making her look guilty about something that didn't have much to deal with her.
"It's pretty obvious that the kings have a … complicated relationship, but if you ask me… I'd never say that it was a reason for her to… act like she does…" it actually made much sense, it wasn't a secret that King Stephen had had a life before his wife came along… was she hurt just because of that?
"I'm … I mean, we, are not allowed to say such things, highness…There are just some things that are better not said…" her discomfort somehow confirmed Clary's theory, but what could she do about it? As Amatis had said, every person has their own story, and if you're not willing to be part of it, you better step out of it.
"Ok, one more thing to add to the list of risky bullshit we've done!" announced Maia as if it was news to someone.
"Shh! You'll wake them up!" Helen demanded, the life of the Lightwoods wasn't quite peaceful for those days, with a new baby, and all the interviews and questions that Alec and Isabelle had to take care of, the only thing that they must0ve had in mind was to get some good sleep… but Simon's lovesick heart couldn't wait!
"We'll wake them up anyways, won't we?" said Eric with a huge smile, he wasn't a big fan of cheesy love confession or anything, but any dangerous thing that they could do, was enough to make all of them feel alive.
"Yes, but we must try to wake them with a beautiful melody not with screams and complaining!" reminded them Simon, he looked, like Izzy would say, adorably nervous. Well, who could really blame him? Entering the palace in the middle of the night, fleeing from the guards as if they were little mice trying to get away from a giant and fat cat, and not to mention the weight of their musical instruments, it was a whole package of foolishness done because of pure adoration towards one little princess.
"No melody can be considered beautiful if you're singing it while shaking like a cell phone on vibrator mode!" Maia, on the other side, was a bit annoyed because of his very "brilliant" ideas; still she was a bit excited to see how it'd turn out. After saying so, the guys tried with all of them not to laugh out loud.
"Thanks for the support, best friend!" Simon turned around to wink at her and they kept walking through the misleading garden bushes.
"Whenever you want, it's my one and only pleasure! But can we speed this up please? You know… before we get caught and dragged to the dungeons as the criminals we may be taken as?" proposed Maia with her best sarcastic smile.
"I'm too young and handsome to die in prison!" Kirk who had been awfully quiet like a thief itself, cried out at Maia's positive thoughts. His friends almost killed him trying to make him shut is "so handsome" mouth. When they found the place which, according to Clary, was just below Izzy's window, they settled themselves there and thought once again about the stupidity they were about to commit, that only made them more anxious.
"Ok, it's official… you've lost your mind over her…" was what Helen said before they started playing.
"Yes, and that exactly what makes this whole mess so special!" Simon smiled to her, and then there was no turning back. The song was arranged to work as a duet and completely acoustic mode, one of his and Clary's favorites, and that in a certain and very strange way worked perfectly to describe how we felt.
-When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind,
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it.
And my momma swore that she would
Never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist, but darling…
You are, the only exception
You are, the only exception
You are, the only exception
You are, the only exception-
After the first chorus, Izzy appeared trough the window, not looking tired or annoyed, just surprised… and a bit shocked. Her eyes met Simon's, and trough the lyrics she understood, there was no need to say a word, if only with such passion showing on his eyes and the way he played, she had all figured out.
-Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul
that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone.
Or keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this
keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I have sworn to myself
that I'm content with loneliness.
Because none of it was ever worth the risk.
Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.-
All of the light of that area of the palace were turn on, there were whispers and also loud protests, they heard people rushing to see what was happening, and some others only opened their windows to see what was the fuss about, but everyone seemed to stop when they sensed such connection between the singer and the princess.
-I've got a tight grip on reality,
but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up.
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.
You are the only exception
you are the only exception.
And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing.-
When the song was over, Izzy kind of yelled something Simon wasn't expecting to hear after such a scene he had created.
"Are you guys drunk?" the rest of them laughed their lives off, accepting it could be true.
"Kind of… well, I had to drink something or other ways I couldn't have done it!" Simon gave her an awkward smile, and then she disappeared from the window.
"Oh, oh…" Helen exclaimed next to him, she recognized that expression of pure panic on his face. "Take it easy, sweetie, she sure liked it…" she was the one who began with the comforting, then being followed but the rest of her friends….
"This was one of the best performances we've ever done; she just can't "not love" it!"
"Simon, remember that you do have to breathe ok?"
"Please wink if you're still alive!"
"C'mon, it was great; maybe she's just trying to process such awesomeness!" who were torn apart from him when Isabelle reappeared running right into his arms, she giggled lovely with teary eyes, as Simon reacted and he put his arms around her, pulling her closer to him, as if they had been both immersed in all this sea of doubt and frustration and while getting back together they could finally come out to the surface and breathe.
"I've missed you badly…" when he got the courage to speak again, he whispered that only to her, making her whine even more.
"I'm so sorry… I swear by Raziel, that I'm trying but…" her voice broke, she gave up the explaining part; she had had enough of that already.
"I know, it's fine… I was just so worried, and I couldn't sleep and I held my cell phone all the time as if it were a lung of mine or something, I needed to see you, I had to…" Her mouth made its way from his cheek to reach his lips and his excuses melted away in such sweet kiss, and Izzy's kissed were like medicine for him, for once he didn't feel unsure or uncomfortable.
"I needed that too… Thank you, for being so concerned and well… for this! This must be the most beautiful thing someone has ever done for me… "Her bright smile warmed his heart as he covered her with tiny kisses all over her face.
"Wait a minute, my darling…" after her comment Simon turned to the proud looking Maia and said "Take that, Roberts! I told you it'd be beautiful!" and all of them laughed after that.
"My mistake…" she answered raising her shoulders in defeat.
"So, we're fine? You're not breaking up with me?" Simon never thought he'd ask something like that, and neither he thought she'd laugh at his fears.
"Of course not, you silly! After this… how could I ever leave you?" she caressed his messy hair as he pulled her back into an embrace.
"I had to make sure… we're together, we really are" he sighed, relieved.
"Yes, we are…" but Izzy wasn't sure about how much that would last…
Clary wasn't exactly seeing rainbows and unicorns and throwing rose petals all over the palace after she heard that she'd have some time to talk with Jace before they'd have to go to the Academy, on different limos of course, she didn't really have energy for such attempt to parade, but she was surely happy about it.
"Kiss me so I know it's not a dream…"her husband hugged her from behind as his lips tickled the most sensitive spots on her neck's skin, Clary chuckled and turned around to grant him his wish.
"Real enough?" she asked, stroking his soft and endearing cheeks, admiring that face that occupied her thoughts day after day.
"No, you're more of a dreamy angel than just a mere human to me so… I couldn't say so…" how come could he say such wonderful things? How could he have the power to make her feel like there was nothing wrong about her life with just his presence?
"So… what's so important that at last your, so fair and admirable, mother let us see each other?" she tried not to sound so sarcastic, or did she?
"You remember what's happening next week, right?" oh, shoot! She was definitely not ready to answer that question.
"It's… our fifth month anniversary, isn't it?" she sure tried to smile.
"Really? I thought it would finally be the day when we get to consume our union!" and she also loved when his "jerk" side came out to play a bit.
"Shut up, already! Please, how on earth could I have forgotten?" she giggled uncomfortable and her eyes fell to the ground.
"You forgot, didn't you?" and damn, he had gotten to know her so very well…
"No..." she said softly, yet nodding. "I'm sorry" her head fell to his shoulders, he laughed sweetly and kissed her forehead.
"Don't worry, I secretly was waiting for you to say so… because I have arranged the best month anniversary present you'll ever get!" now that was something she was glad to hear!
"What is it?" there was a lot of ideas running through her head, but she knew that Jace could do much better than any of her silly imaginations.
"Let's see… have you ever swum in a place that wasn't a public pool?" and then she got lost.
"Well, the closest I've ever been to real water was… on a little lake near my stepfather's summer house…" she used to visit it often when she was a kid, and those memories made her wonder if she'd ever get to visit it again.
"Don't tell me it's Lake Lyn or other ways I'd understand your so complicated personality…"they both laughed and she hit him softly.
"No… it was much smaller than Lake Lyn… but tell me, I want to know" her curiosity won over her.
"I'm taking you, to out private beach on Greece" after saying this, he kissed each one of her pale with astonishment cheeks as she processed it.
"You… are taking me to Greece?!" her jaw fell to the floor.
"Well, we'll have to stay at the Herondale manor most of the time, but you know that for me nothing is impossible…"
"No, you're a very blonde Superman, I know! But I can't believe it! We're going to Greece!" she squealed and hugged him tightly as she bounced happily.
"Happy?" he asked smiling.
"Blissful, honey!" she assured him "Thank you, it's amazing… I- I love you so much!" that was when she felt a bit guilty. She had been whining over Celine's exigency while he had been arranging a perfect beautiful vacation for them!
"There's nothing you have to thank me for, anything for my pretty pumpkin…" he gave her a small kiss. Still, Clary promised to enjoy herself as much as she could, anyways, Nor Celine or anybody would be always there to try to ruin her plans.
After her classes finished, she had to try to walk to the limo until she was sweating, she didn't really want to go back to the palace to hear hours and hours of thing she already knew but she had to… that thought surrounded her head until Alec appeared from nowhere.
"Hey, oldest brother in all Idris!" what a nickname for him, only because he had another sibling.
"What's up, Clary?" they hugged each other joyfully.
"Let me see… temporary deafness and unsupportable stress and tiredness caused by my mother in law, terrible anxiousness because of Lady Amatis, and pure loneliness because you guys aren't around anymore… but feeling absolutely loved by Jace as always…" she tried to stay positive at his eyes.
"Yeah, believe it or not, I've been where you are…Not because of Jace, of course!" she giggled at his comment. "And that part of tiredness? God, having a baby to take care of is awesome and terrible at the same time" Clary's heart shrank a bit when Max was brought up, she like all of the witnesses of the birth , had fallen in love with the little creature as soon as she saw him, she hadn't had a chance to visit them after that.
"I wish I could help you so you could get some more rest… oh, and what about Simon's serenade the other night? You must've wanted to throw a shoe to them or something…" they laughed together.
"I was initially thinking of doing so but then Izzy went to meet him, and she was so happy… and I cannot waste my shoes like that…" yeah, she remembered that side from Alec, so fun and unworried. "Still we could use some vacation from the palace…" the word vacation rang on Clary's ears as a bell, the idea was brilliant and incredibly bold, but why not?
"Ok, call me crazy but… I think you both could actually have that vacation!" she showed a bright and big smile to him, Alec shivered a bit.
"What exactly is plotting your twisted mind of red-haired girl, huh?" he asked poking her head softly.
"Listen, Jace is taking me to, eh, Egkremnoi or whatever, your family's private beach on Greece for our fifth anniversary… you have to come! We'll keep it as a secret if necessary, we'll make it work! What do you say?" she was so excited, it was impossible for him to say no even when he knew it could end wrong in many ways.
"I say that we'll get our asses kicked…" he began, as Clary scowled "but it'll be worth it… I'll talk to Jace to see what we can do, okay?"
"Then, everything is ready for the most amazing vacation ever!"
To be continued…
Dreamer.
The song I used on this chapter is obviously not mine! It's from Paramore (The only Exception), and I love it and I hope you loved this chapter as much as I did!