*Want to get a clue of this chapter before reading it? Check out this link: /entry/206625555/in-set/99831081-princess-hours-fanfiction-cartoons?context_user=Wonderful_Nephilim *
After two days of endless serum and reflexive thoughts, Clary could finally go back to her room… yes, her room; usually when you're sick and you have to stay at a hospital, all you want to do is to go home, and she desired so badly she could just say that she wanted to go home, but she wasn't so sure about what "home" was anymore; she hardly knew something about people, the world or herself at that point, all she thought was right or true wasn't, and things kept showing it's cruel side to her, as if the universe was desperately trying to end with her hopes… that it they weren't done already.
"Your room's ready for you, highness… we should take you there now…" Camille and Annemarie bowed at her, she was looking through the window; as she had been unconsciously killing herself the outsides of the palace seemed to have rebirth, the arrival of summer making it all look like the Eden itself.
"Change of cell, it is… okay, could you help me up?" her strength wasn't fully recovered yet, and that should've annoyed her, not even being able to stand up for herself, in every sense. Her maids grabbed her by the arms, helping her not to lose her balance as they walked to the door, but somebody stood on their way.
"Ladies, could I have a word in private with the princess?" Queen Celine's face was expressionless, but her eyes showed that something inside her was about to explode, Clary looked up at her tiredly, remembering what she had talked with Amatis; King Stephen used to be such a kind, just and loving man… but after he had married someone he didn't love, all the sparkle of life had been drained out of his system, and that seemed to affect the Queen also, but she didn't need to know she knew.
"Uh, the doctor has told us that she'd get better if she felt more comfortable, we were taking her to her room right now, majesty" replied Annemarie as nicely and respectful as she could, but Celine didn't seem to notice.
"The princess may rest when she understands what she has done wrong… this is an order…" the pretended calm faded from her face, leaving clear that she did not come in peace, that thought almost made Clary laugh, what did her mother in law know about living peacefully and harmoniously? Her maids hesitated looking at each other, she knew it was her time to speak, she sighed.
"Not more, majesty… please, not more…"finally, she accepted it, it was more than she could take; Clary had never thought of herself as an invincible superheroine, but she did know that she could accomplish something when she really wanted to… but what had happened trough the months she had been the Crown Princess was weakening all of the strength she had, making her doubt about herself… and well, about almost everything.
"Excuse me, princess?" and she clearly wasn't expecting something like that.
"I know I've messed things up, some if not most of the time… but, majesty, I've really tried to be your perfect image of a wife, a relative, a royal… but I can't lose all that I am to turn into what you want me to be… it seems as if you want to shatter all of the things I believe in to replace them with distrust and secrecy; I understand perfectly that mine is a very important position and there are things I just must do… but to lie to everybody, to endure all of the awful things you tell me, to hide behind this mask that our people know isn't true? It's pointless, it's a waste of time… and before I was a princess, I was a girl; I was human, majesty… I had to build up so much of me after… I experienced loss for the first time, I had a renewed heart and dreams and I was ready to pursue them; but I left all of that because I thought that it would be better to make some changes, but it turned out that you'd try to change me… and I know this, because it is exactly what happened to you, but if you hadn't let them do so… you'd be much happier now…but who am I to question your decisions? I'll just tell you to think about it, do you think you could bear with all that you've done to me? Because I cannot think of one single person in the world who could go through this unharmed. And I know that making mistakes isn't quite a valuable excuse to hate someone, but if it is in your case… I'm really sorry for all I have done up until now, just stop it…" it felt really good to take that out of her chest, Celine looked puzzled, and somehow guilty, she wasn't looking to her eyes
"Y- You may go now, she… does need to rest…" her voice gave hints of breaking; she quickly turned around and came back to where she had come from.
"That was really brave from you, highness…" complimented her Annemarie.
"No, it was simply true…" she replied.
-A month later-
The big and so awaited eighteen, the number every girl and boy somehow waits for because of some reason Clary couldn't really understand yet, maybe a couple of months ago… that looked like years or so, she had felt that emotion of turning eighteen, but emotion wasn't something she had been experiencing lately. The clock showed that it was seven o'clock when her cellphone rang; she had been awake for nearly an hour though.
"Happy Birthday, Pumpkin!" shouted all of her friends, leaving her terribly and yet adorably deaf.
"Isn't it quite early for you to scream like banshees trough the phone?" she answered giggling.
"Oh, please! What could be better than waking up with the sound of my melodic voice?" protested Helen, clearly laughing at the affirmation even she knew wasn't true.
"It's only worse than being woken by a hen!" said someone behind her, but Clary didn't know if it had been Kirk or Simon, they both talked nonsense so…
"At least you make me laugh; Thank you all, brags! I love you…" she sighed after saying so; she hadn't said so to someone for a long, long time.
"And we love you more, eighteen year old! What does it feel to stop growing physically and stuff?" Okay, this time it was Simon for sure.
"I believe that happened when I was eleven and I didn't notice up until you were taller than me, so…"she got up from bed and walked to her comber, trying to find something different about her looks, nope, just the same she had looked for the last month, pale, skinnier, her eyes drier than a desert.
"That's why you're our birthday pumpkin!" said Maia lovingly.
"Just please promise you won't make me eat again that awful pumpkin pie, it should be considered as cannibalism for you!" that made all of them laugh loudly.
"It's your birthday tradition, no complains!" answered Eric, "tradition", that was good, actually great for her, to have a part of her past joining her turbulent present, something that lasted… something that she knew was real and would happen, she smiled sadly. Someone knocked on the door, waking her up from her a bit unusual philosophizing.
"Okay then I'll pretend to wait for it excitedly, thank you for everything, guys… I have to go now!" she was quite sad to finish the call so soon, but Queen Celine still didn't know she had gotten her cellphone back, it wasn't a risk she could take at that point, not after the last conversation she had had with her.
"She didn't lie when she said she'd pretend! Alright, redhead, we understand! We'll see you later, ok? Bye!" and then Helen hung up.
"Highness, time to wake up!" Annemarie sounded suspiciously happy that morning.
"I'm already up, come in, please…" she tried to smile, but not only her maids were at the door carrying a three story cake with white and emerald frosting and eighteen perfectly placed candles , also Magnus and Amatis with various envelops on their hands.
"Happy birthday, princess…" they all said placing the cake on the comber, Clary saw that the candles gave off colorful sparks, this time she smiled for real. She blew them all, knowing that she'd have other cakes and candles to take care of that day, she decided to wait for the last one to make a wish, cause she couldn't think of one in that moment.
"Thank you, this is truly amazing from you!" she said joyful, Magnus and Amatis smiled back to her and spread all of the letters in front of her.
"These are a part of your birthday present; you may choose which one to open first…" Magnus announced, a sparkle of excitement shining through his eyes. She rubbed her hands together and chose one that was close to the middle of them and opened it quickly, inside there was a picture of her mother and her as a toddler, Jocelyn smiled as little Clary played with the first crayons she had ever had, there was something written at the back of it.
"For my beautiful, princess; This is the first birthday I don't get to wake you up with more kisses than words, but this time there will be more words, I can't believe my little child is eighteen, I was I was never ready to see you grow up, but to see the brilliant, kind hearted, fun, talented an gorgeous woman you have become tells me that I have nothing to worry about; one more year of your life, Clary, learn from it, embrace it and let it show you how wonderful living can be.
Love you with heart, soul and mind.
Mom"
Clary had always admired her mother's ability to make everything sound poetic, deep and clever, she ran a finger through the picture as if she was caressing her mother's face, and when she lifted it to put it back on the envelop, she saw that a "W" shone when she turned the image a bit to face the sunlight. She turned to see Amatis to get a clue.
"Open another one" she winked. Clary picked one from the right corner. Inside there was a picture of Izzy and her on Greece, when they had found those beautiful red flowers.
"To my cousin, now an eighteen year old!
By the holy angel, Clary! I can't believe you've been with us for what seems a short period of time and you've already made us adore you! You're such a warmhearted girl, honest, pretty, creative and fun as hell! You're like the sister I never had! (Don't tell Alec, please!) And it's awesome for me to get to share one of your most important birthdays with you, near or far. Whatever that happens next, you should know you're a really important person for me. Congratulations, redhead!
XOXO, Isabelle" This one showed a bright "O" when it was touched by sunlight.
The next one, curiously, was from Alec; she wondered when somebody had photographed them as they talked on the bench of her garden.
"To Clary, our tiny bit of reality:
Let me tell you, Clarissa Herondale Fairchild, that I couldn't imagine what would've happen to us if you hadn't accepted to marry my very dumb and blond cousin, from the first day you brought light, warmth and joy to the palace, no matter in which way (because Lady Amatis certainly punished you for your ways, not that someone cares!) But we always knew you were certainly a special person that would show us that there's more to life than the fear that sometimes is hidden inside these four walls we live in.
Alec."
She opened a bunch of other ones, nine to be precise, one from Imogen, other one from her brother, Luke, Amatis, Magnus and even one from Maryse, that had chosen a picture of her and Max, holding him when he had just been born.
The tenth and last one was just a picture of her, with the dress she had worn for the Homecoming ball on January, standing in front of the gates of the palace, her crown shone brightly as her smile; She didn't recognize the handwriting but it was surely delicate, elegant and beautiful, like telling a love story with the curves of the letters.
"Changes are good; Clary, but you were something like a miracle" When she placed it in front of the window, a sparkly heart was surrounding the image of her. When she places all the pictures together the letters formed a brilliant "We love you", she smiled, with tenderness filling her heart as nothing had been able to for the last months. The thing was that, there was someone missing in that beautiful message, the only one who she'd died so he said so…
"So… did she like them?" said Jace when Magnus came out, he had been hiding inside one of the unoccupied rooms close to Clary's, he needed to know if the first part of her birthday gift had gone well, he still had many other things for her, that day ought to be special.
"She loved them, my lord, she looks very pleased and excited" that must've made him smile, but all that he felt was relieve, he laid his back up against the wall, sighing. "It's really not my business, prince, but… could I ask why aren't you jumping up and down like a bunny on Easter?"
"No, not at all…" he rubbed his tired golden eyes, a clear sign that he had been working very hard, not only on his responsibilities crown prince, but on the entire holiday that Clary's birthday had become.
"Well, with all of the birthday parade you've made for her I'd find it hard for her not to look at you at least…" maybe Magnus didn't know everything about teenage love, but he did know about a damaged heart that needed some attention.
"But she must not know this is my doing, Magnus… not until I get to talk to her and explain everything, actually not everything, just what she really wants to hear…" Magnus looked at Jace as if he could channel his feelings, turning them into his own; this wasn't the crown Prince he had been eight months ago, this was just Jace, a boy who had loved and now was losing that bit of his soul that filled him as no one would ever do again.
"Then… what is this exactly that you've planned for her?" he knew well that he shouldn't ask anything more, he knew that those words were painfully hard to say, but he needed to know, to help him better.
"This is the beginning of the end, Magnus… " He turned away from him and started walking slowly through the hall, as if the weight of the suffering was eating all of the energies, and live inside him. He knew, that he was giving up something precious that would destroy him forever.
Clary's birthday hadn't been that special before. Sure it was kind of a dumb thought to have at that point of the life, but even when she had become Crown Princess, the fact of her turning eighteen only meant that she was ready to be the mother of a future king of Idris, but that weight was already gone of her shoulders, she didn't know why but since the morning, the cracks of her battered heart had arranged a little ,who were the world for her had managed to remind her that her life hadn't ended with Jace, it was just beginning and it must be lived out and out. Her friends had taken her to her house, they embraced, pampered and overwhelmed her with small gifts in size but big in significance, her parents and brother had entered the living room with a huge pumpkin pie, yes other cake besides the one she had choked on breakfast that she didn't want to eat at all, but her mother had made it just the way she liked it. And Jocelyn also with her maternal love had erased any trace of all the tears that were shed until that day, Luke kissed her cheek as the proud father he was, and Jonathan hugged her so tightly that the pain disappeared. She returned to the palace with a genuine smile, humorous feelings and some renewed hope.
But not as much as when she entered the palace, and her favorite garden showed a set of tents with emerald ribbons and luxurious tables below shining with the light of purple lamps, her favorite flowers, violets adorned all around and there was a stage in front of the tables to one side was a cake five floors waited it was not really like the cake in the morning, which was inscribed "Happy Birthday, Your Highness!" had a projector pointing to the wall of the stage and showed pictures of her, when she was just a baby, a child and more photos of only a few years and months ago, all of them with her friends and family, of home and the palace; but it looked like someone had tried to erase an important part of the history that ran by the images, not a single photo with ...
"Surprise!" said Izzy coming down the stairs with a smile that went perfectly with her indigo and white party dress that scented her curves, her brother came behind her with a black and blue suit matched with a black bowtie, holding a fancy and smiley baby Max on his arms, that giggled when he saw her.
"What's going on in here?" she took the baby with her and kissed his forehead.
"Your birthday party, duh! Her Royal Highness cannot afford not to celebrate with dignity a just declared national holiday, you're in all media, Clary!" the Lightwood siblings guided her inside the palace to her room. She was being nicely celebrated for sure, none of the birthdays of her cousins or husband had created such a fuss, it was kind of suspicious. 'Thank God it's vacation' her thoughts said, she wouldn't have handled such bash still studying at the Academy.
"Awesome! But why are we going inside?" she asked as discretely as she could, inside her room Magnus was waiting next to her comber, brightening her silver Herondale locket; an emerald satin strappy dress, with a little low cut and pasted to the chest, closing it with an adorable bow at the waist that dropped the thin layers of the cocktail dress like the petals of a beautiful flower caught her attention and took away all of the air inside her lungs.
"By the angel, that's for me?" all of her large, elegant and expensive dresses were nothing compared to that delicate piece of art waiting on the mannequin next to her closet.
"No, it was actually for me but I told Magnus that I didn't need those kind of love displays to know how much of a pretty lady I am" said Alec making her sister and brother chuckle, his comment sounding an awful lot as something as her husband would've said.
"You're a gorgeous lady, Alec but I agree this is not your color!" she approached Magnus' masterpiece and caressed the fabric gently, admiring all of its glory, her mom used to say that things seemed so precious only when they were made with love.
"Well, then, let's get my lady ready for the best birthday of her life…" Magnus took her hand gently and took her to the chair of the comber, Clary looked at her dazzling with joy reflection, knowing that some part of her hadn't been fixed yet, but she had lived with them, she'd live with that missing piece of her heart, somehow…
"Who are you and what have you done to our Clary?" said Helen smiling when Clary came out, with her perfectly fitting dress and straightened hair, the Herondale locket resting peacefully against her chest, she hadn't really wanted to wear it, but Magnus, Izzy and Alec got to convince her with their puppy faces, not to mention Max's crocodile tears that melted her firmness in question of seconds. Her friends were up on the stage placing their instruments in place, all of them dressed as fancily as they thought convenient, and they looked amazing.
"Taken her sexy and cute self out of the closet for a change, you guys are going to play the rock version of "Happy Birthday" to me?" she smiled as Maia and Helen helped her up.
"We'll play anything you want us to, spoiled brat!" Maia rubbed top of her head hardly, almost running Magnus' one hour battle with her messy curls, but he was the God of fashion, so her hair went back to its perfect straight from.
"Yup and in exchange, not that I should be asking this as it is your birthday, but do you think I could bring somebody…?" started Helen, her friends understood immediately.
"Hell yeah! Is that even a question? You've had us wondering about you special one for months, thank God!" Clary reapplied excitedly.
"You're the best of the best, pumpkin" Helen smiled and took her cellphone out from nowhere visible of her sparkly tight-fitting purple dress.
"See? I told you it wouldn't be that different…" Clary spoke to Simon's back; he turned with a bright smile.
"What do you mean?"
"I told you I'd be there the first time you got to play live, it was a best friend promise, and those are unbreakable!" she reminded him, her heart ached a bit from the recall, eight months ago… everything had changed so much, but they were lucky their friendship remained the same, but she wasn't so sure about how many promises she'd be able to maintain anymore.
"If I'm playing for your birthday it doesn't count…" he said so, but didn't believe it.
"Really, Lewis? Are your glasses dirty or something? This field is wide enough for the entire population of Alicante to come to the party, and I'm pretty sure they will, this might be your great debut, my friend… and all thanks to the crown I'm slightly relieved not to be wearing right now"
"I'll thank you when I have enough nerve to accept it" he gently kissed her forehead.
"Okay, everything ready, team. Let's get the party started" announced Eric.
"Strange, isn't it? Eight months ago I was sitting right there where you're at, saying to Hodge that I wouldn't go to one of the most important events of the Crown Princes' life, is it a family thing now?" said Alec leaving his baby brother on his crib, as it was already nap time and Max knew it, being a baby why would he care about the enormous and deafening festivity taking place outside?
"She doesn't want me there, I'd bet one of my lungs to prove it…" replied Jace, looking more miserable than what he sounded like.
"Nobody hates someone forever, Jace; you ought to talk to her and tell her how things really are…" in other situation, Alec would've laughed, giving love advise as if he had his own life resolved.
"You speak as if you didn't know her, Alec, the only person more stubborn in the world than Clarissa Fairchild might have been me, but not even I am so hard headed as she is…" Jace tiredly run a hand through his hair, 'or as wonderful, gorgeous, amazing... God, she's perfect' those were words he knew weren't necessary to say out loud.
"At least you could approach just a bit before she chops off your head and say you're sorry, for whatever you did and you didn't want to tell me about, bastard… sharing my entire life with you and you still don't trust me…" that made his cousin laugh a bit, actually Jace had made pretty clear that after the TV interview scandal, it would be better to keep the problem undercover, nobody knew what was really going on except from Clary and him.
"I am going to talk to her, Alexander now self-proclaimed Mr. Knows it all about relationships, tell me… when are you planning to tell daddy about Magnus? If you have such a trauma with honesty and shit…" Alec should've been mad, very mad, but he hadn't been there when his cousin needed him, he had nothing to complain about, and seeing him go back to his older and happier self was like being able to breathe again.
"This is not about Magnus and me or my father…" what a lie, he knew "…but Jace, Clary is a part of yourself that you cannot just give up on, and I know this might sound dramatic but do you think it'll be that easy to spend the rest of your life with her ignoring those emotions that make you feel more alive than ever? I don't think so… you're not a coward, Jace, you're not the kind of guy who gives in so easily, there must be something you can do…" Alec placed a hand on his shoulder as he had always done.
"There is, and I will do it for sure…" he answered, trying to calm his cousin's worries, 'but I cannot say that it'll fix this stupidly ill heart of mine…'
At the beginning of the party, Clary surely had to fulfill her duties as Crown Princess and just said "organizer", thought she really had no idea of who had been planning the festivity all day long. She greeted the member of the parliament, her in- laws and all the honorable guests of the party, later she escaped with Alec, Izzy and Maia to hear as Simon and the guys played an entire repertory of Clary's most played tunes, of course they stood the closest to the stage from all the people that had gathered there.
"We'll take a tiny break now, thanks for joining us…" said Helen on the microphone, and came down from the stage.
"Hey, I'm not paying for your breaks!" Clary said aiming a spoiled birthday girl, but giggled which made her impression weaken, Helen stuck out her tongue.
"You're not paying me at all, hoe… My Mrs. Is here I have to go check on her, she says she's lost who can blame her being in the world's largest maze? I'll be back soon" she sent a blown kiss to her and disappeared into the dark of the falling night.
"My, my! Look at you all sexy and sweaty, I feel like melting as that little fangirl of yours" Izzy gave a little kiss to her boyfriend as he sat on the edge of the stage.
"Smells like jealousy to me, when did you tell her about Maureen?" Clary chuckled.
"Maureen is one of those people who don't need to be told about, she just brings herself up in any way possible, and I mean that… any way possible!" Izzy made a face after he said so and clenched her hug, like saying "You're my superstar geek, idiot", making him smile. Clary laughed at the sight and turned her head to the rose bushes, big mistake.
"And talking about any way possible, Why on bloody hell is this bitch here?!" anyone close to them became alarmed when their Princess cursed in such a way.
"Oh, highness! Such a funny joke!" Simon started laughing about her exclamation to cover his best friend's huge faux pas, Alec, Maia and Izzy laughed with him, when the stares left them, Alec turned to Clary.
"What are you talking about?" said her cousin alarmed.
"There, you see? It's Aline, how does she dare to come here?!" Clary was almost screaming in rage when she pointed to the slim and delicate figure standing next to the rose bushes.
"I rarely insult a woman, but that's what I call a shameless slut…" Simon agreed looking angry.
"Ok, I know you never had a good relationship with her, I doubt you even had one with her being your husband's ex-girlfriend but do you really need to trash her like this?" said Izzy shocked.
"If you were wondering why I haven't spoken to your cousin for the last three months is because of her!" answered Clary, fighting against the tears she didn't know she still had; she sighed feeling powerless, she didn't want to cry in front of them but if she walked over to Aline, she was sure she'd leave her on the floor begging for mercy… "This cannot be happening, not today!" she made her way away from her friends, crying as much as she was able to when nobody heard or saw her, and when she said "today" she didn't mean her birthday, she meant that had been the first day on months that she had felt alive and loved again.
"Clary!" Helen appeared again looking as her friend ran away, Simon got off the edge in motion to follow her when Kirk called him.
"Hey, we need help here, the amplifier isn't working alright and I'm afraid that Erik will blow our minds with his beat literally…" he said shakily, Simon cursed under his breath.
"You help dumb and dumber; I'll go with Clary, Helen come with me!" Maia said quickly, trying not to lose the sight of the redhead.
"What's going on? I thought she was having fun!" Helen said as they chased Clary through the halls, the Palace was pretty big on the outside, but on the inside it was infinite times bigger and fancier.
"She saw somebody, started protesting about Goldilocks and then left in tears, I have not much clues to answer that, that's why we're following her." Said Maia a bit breathless, and relieved when Clary finally gave up her fleeing and entered a room on the left corner using her locket.
"Okay, nobody will hear your unladylike vocabulary here, what happened to you back there?" started Maia, as Clary calmed her winning.
"Jace and I fought three months ago because someone took pictures of him cheating on me with that whore! And she dares to show up here on my birthday looking as she had done nothing! And I'm supposed to smile like a motherfucking clown as if I was alright because no one knows or gives a damn, aren't I?" her friends watch as all of the weak joy and faith faded from her expression, that bit of glow they had managed to lit up that day had faded into the deep darkness of her heavy tears.
"We actually give a damn, girl, that's why we're here… Look, I know this must feel like shit but there's more cameras and people than breathable air outside and you just made a scene, you need to breathe and calm down, this is not time to get hysterical…" Maia tried her best to soothe her aching friend.
"I'm tired of swallowing the pain, Maia, it's killing me! Don't you get it? He was all I had in this motherfucking prison and it's because of her that I lost him, that if he was ever mine! She has always had him trapped in her claws and with him she took away all that was left of me!" she tried, she did try with all of her not to cry again, her mind telling her that they didn't deserve those painful tears, but she couldn't stop them, she felt like drowning one more time.
"Alright, time out! I understood exactly nothing, but from what I got previously, her ex-girlfriend radar is on, the question is: Who's the sinful and disgraced soul we have to pelt?" asked Helen as any good friend would do.
"That stupid prostitute out there!" she looked as she was to go crazy at any moment.
"Honey, there's as much prostitutes on the world as stars in the sky! You have to be more specific!" she begged, trying to help as she could.
"Motherfucking Aline Penhallow, alright?! It's her; she's the reason of my misery!" Clary broke down and fell to her knees, Maia rushed to hold her. But Helen just lost it.
"Ok, hang in there, your bitchy highness; there is no good reason for you to call my girlfriend a cheap whore!" Clary cried pretty loudly, but they still heard Helen and that made her stop for a while.
"What? Y-you're girlfriend? I don't get it… Helen, Aline was Jace's girlfriend…" she and Maia exchanged confused glares.
"Nah-ah, I may not be a genius but I'm smart enough to recognize a new romance when I see it, and that girl you just ended with words is mine!" now knowing that Clary, and nobody obviously, knew what on Earth was going, she tried not to make her feel worse.
"Woah, hold your horses! So if Aline has this particular taste… you think she could have cheated on you too?" Maia didn't mean to sound rude or anything, but this whole situation was suspicious enough for her to ask.
"Thank you, best friend, that's a really nice possibility to consider…" Helen crossed her arms to her chest.
"I'm not trying to be jinx about your new relationship but this has to be fixed, right now!" she answered seriously.
"Fine, Aline said she had been friends with Goldilocks and had stalked him for a while but didn't speak to him anymore as he was so head over heels for Clary!" she contested as if that was everything she knew.
"Oh, by the holy Angel… Helen, how long have you been dating Aline?" Clary started shivering, sensing that she was about to realize she had made a very, very stupid mistake.
"Almost seven months, I think…" she replied, clueless.
"Clary, how exactly could you think Jace was cheating on you?" Maia asked scowling.
"Well, someone left these pictures on my bed when we got back from Greece" Clary walked to one of the glittery sky blue drawers next to the giant bed, that was when they realized this was her room, of course, with paintings and different shades of blue everywhere, how couldn't it be?
"You kept the evidence, that's fucked up, pumpkin!" Maia took the images from her hands.
"I've wanted to burn them and dance upon their ashes, but I thought it would be better to burn the happy couple down, and I couldn't… so I kept them for a moment when I really couldn't take more…" she confessed trying to clean all of the mascara tears of her face.
"Easy, sadistic arsonist…" giggled Helen "Okay, honey baby, since when is River Thames anywhere to be seen in Idris?" now both of her friends were scowling and crossing their arms to their chests as she bit her lip.
"Since my mother in law began to drive me insane and I was enough of a stressful and hysterical idiot to think that the greatest love of my life had cheated on me with his ex…" Clary covered her face with her hands and fell to the bed.
"I can't believe this, Clarissa Herondale Fairchild! Those pictures were taken like a century ago!" Helen climbed up the bed and started hitting Clary with one of her pillows, as they had done when they were little, it still made her laugh.
"Ouch, for heaven's sake, cut it!" Clary giggled, Maia sat next to them smiling but still feeling annoyed. "I get it now, you said Aline stalked him when we weren't together for real, but I didn't know she had followed him on his trip to England on February"
"You see, Drama Queen? That's why you must let people talk before you sell their souls to Satan…" she held her pumpkin's hand.
"Don't even mention it, but I must say that your good friend paid wonderfully for their souls…" the three of them laughed.
"Hey, one of those souls is mine, give it back!" Helen smiled.
"And the other one still must be yours; better late than never, Clary, everyone knows you love him crazily enough to get up, clean those Mary Magdalene tears and get him back" their friends encouraged her; this time Clary showed an authentic smile, what had seemed to turn a perfect day into a disaster had disappeared, the happiness she had felt since morning grew bigger and she got up, to run to her comber and fix her makeup.
"Great, this is just great! Jace said: The waltz is at 9 o'clock, make sure to take her to the Accords Hall before it gets too crowded, and is she available for me to take her?!" Izzy was at the verge of going mad; her brother followed her annoyed as she ran around the ballroom.
"Iz, she almost had a heart attack, do you think that the first thought of her mind right now is dancing with whom she believes a douchebag?" Alec wasn't trying to sound sarcastic at a moment like that; he knew that bothered his sister, but what else could he say?
"It should be! By Raziel, Jace worked his life out for this to be perfect and now the birthday girl disappears…" she sighed worriedly, as Alec saw a bright red and glowing emerald bulge coming from the distance.
"Your wish has been granted, Cinderella, here she comes…" Alec made her turn to see as Clary walked up to them, surprisingly smiling brightly.
"My God, Clarissa! I was going insane! Where were you? Are you okay?" people started whispering as Izzy analyzed Clary and hugged her.
"I'm better than ever, Izzy, for sure… but have you seen my husband? I really need to have a word with him!" Clary shivered as she looked for two glowing golden eyes on the crowd.
"He was supposed to be here by now, but…" Isabelle started, and then she found them; but they didn't glow anymore, the gold of his eyes had turned into pale yellow as his once kissed by the sun skin; he looked sad, empty and hurt, as if his heart and existence had been ripped off his chest, as she had felt.
"You may probably not want this but… Can I have this dance, highness?" Jace offered his hand to her, that hand she had held so many times as a love promise and was now cold.
"Yes…" was what she could answer 'This and all the ones you want, forever…' she thought. They walked to the middle of the room, at the sight of everyone, his arms surrounded her more gently than he had ever done, and that hurt her a bit. The music began, and made it even worse, it was their song… the first one she had learnt, and played together on his piano; their whole story turned into soft and painfully beautiful notes.
"Jace, I … I don't know how to say this…" she found that she felt too guilty to speak, seeing him so broken, so lonely and knowing that she was the reason.
"They don't say anything yet; let me talk first…" he replied; she nodded getting closer to him. "When I saw you, for the first time after I knew I would marry you, I thought to myself: This girl will be my downfall, she must be protected, she must be taken care of, and she has no clue of how cruel this world is; how can I do it? When I don't even know how to take care of myself? And then I got to know you for real, and you were brave, strong, confident… I was wrong, Clary, I was awfully wrong, you were everything I could've ever imagined to be for you, you didn't need someone to save you, you just needed a reason to keep on fighting; and God… I loved you for that, I loved you tirelessly, no matter if you loved me back or what the others said about it, I loved you for what you meant for me, I loved how you left me hopeless sometimes and then made me happy with that beautiful smile of yours, and I promised to myself that I'd do anything to make you smile every day, as that mere expression made me feel alive, and joyful and strong enough to keep going on, you weren't my downfall, you were my inspiration, the life I wanted to have and the person I wanted to be, it was all for you. But I understand now, that it's useless, it's selfish from me, Clary, you tried to tell me but I didn't listen, does it really matter if you feel sorrowful and lonely all the time if I'm the only one living this love as if it were real? It's just cruel, it's cruel because they made you do it and I made you stay pointlessly. This love is worth nothing if it doesn't make you happy; because of that, I need to set you free now…" his voice began to break; Clary's eyes meet his both becoming teary.
"Jace…" she whispered almost sobbing.
"Shhh, I don't want you to feel bad for this…" he held her closer, her head rested on his chest, his heart beat weakly as if those words were killing him slowly "I cannot keep your wonderful being trapped in here, as I am, I don't have a choice, it's written in my veins, but you do… you're too beautiful not to be seen by the entire world; It's like a poem my Grandfather used to read to us: "I have the most beautiful bird for my own, hidden, protected where it can be seen by no one. But if it's so gorgeous and loved indeed, why won't its light shine upon me? How come I have no clue yet? By taking away its freedom, I've taken away its faith, with broken voice I admit, it has no beauty left". Angels need to fly away, Clary, they ought to protect and save other people, you've saved me already, you've given me a reason to fight for, I cannot keep you where you don't want to be, I cannot take you out of my heart but from the cage,you're free to live this great life you have. Just don't forget I loved you, and I love you still and I always will… you don't need to love me back, just know that I do" he kissed her forehead as if it was the last time, leaving a part of his soul as tears and a kiss and left with just two words "Goodbye, love".
Clary stood there alone, for what looked like ages, when Maia's voice sounded inside her tortured thoughts: 'And the other one still must be yours', 'It is yours, don't let it go'. "Jace!" she said, turning away from everyone, who became no one when she left, feeling as if she were running for her life, somehow she did. He walked fast, but she knew that the tears made him slower, and when she reached him at last, she hugged him from behind, tightly, not wanting to let go ever again.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I hurt you, I hurt both of us, I'm sorry I didn't listen, I'm sorry I tore you to pieces. I promise I won't say such things anymore, I won't talk about divorce ever again and I won't say I want to leave! You talked about reasons to fight for, and you were mine; because of you I was able to breathe in the Palace, so I want to stay by your side" she tried to speak clearly through her sobs.
"Why would you want to live with a fool that doesn't deserve you in a place that will have you imprisoned forever? Isn't that a price too high for a Crown?" he was giving up on her, she was losing him.
"The man I love isn't the Crown Prince, my home isn't a palace; I love Jace Herondale, my annoying, sweet, caring, and funny Jace, my home is where you are and where I can follow you".
"If you stay with me, I might break your wings, precious angel" he cried, making her feel desperate.
"I don't care! I never cared about that, not after you! Just tell me that you want me to stay!" she cried more than what she breathed, and as Jace remained silent, the air around her seemed to run out. Her hand let go of him, saying goodbye to the heart she had left on his hands, and turned around…
"Please don't leave me, stay with me, for I don't know a life if you're not in it…" and she came back to his arms as soon as she left, running to him as he lifted her.
"I love you, I adore you, Jonathan, I swear on the angel or whatever you believe in… I couldn't believe you would let me go, but I think I love you even more for that!" her cries turned into giggles from both of them, her feet touched the ground again, but her heart and mind were up in the clouds.
"Need another prove that I'd do anything for you, carrot? I love you too, I love you more than I thought I was able to love someone, and it grows bigger every single day; so, if you dare to leave, you'll take me away with you…" he assured her, she raised herself up to kiss him deeply, and that kiss was like coming to the surface after being drowned by a giant wave.
"Perfect, that's the way it must be!" she said happily. All the guests, that had followed them and they barely noticed, began clapping, public affection demonstrations had become like a daily thing for them and they just laughed as they held each other and everyone smiled at them, proudly.
And so the Princess danced to rock music with her Prince all night long, they laughed, they kissed and they ended up playing with all the sweets of the table running any cake on their way and the suits of all of their friends; Clary even hugged Aline for loving Helen and not her husband, and at the end of the party everyone's cheeks ached from smiling so much. That's how Clary knew that a new year and things to come were right in front of her nose; and she'd be ready for what would come, that she promised herself, willing to fulfill it.
To be continued…
Dreamer.