Disclaimer this chapter contains mention of domestic violence and drug abuse.
Chapter 3: The wisdom to know…
It turned out that Charlie did have a lot of friends on the force. After their little quasi-intervention, my parents took me to a hospital just outside the city so I wouldn't have to deal with any colleagues finding out about me—or, more importantly, Jasper finding me.
Charlie called his old buddy, Billy Black, to meet me at Davis General. Billy came with his detective son, Jake, to see me in the emergency room. They took my statement along with pictures of me and Alex. A nurse, an older woman with dark, almost auburn hair, a motherly type was there to care me. All I could think of was the times I did this with other victims of domestic abuse. I never judged anyone who came, but I never realized the courage it took them to make this first step.
"Isabella Whitlock?" a masculine voice called out from behind the current, "Can I come in?"
"Are you done here, detectives?" the nurse, Esme, asked Billy and Jake.
"We have a few more questions to ask, but they can wait until after Isabella sees the doctor," Billy said, turning to me. Isabella, we're going to be outside if you need anything."
"Thank you," I told him.
A tall blond man walked in with Rose and Mom. "Isabella Whitlock?" he asked, extending a hand.
"Yes," I replied, wincing slightly when shaking his hand.
"I'm Dr. Cullen," he said, smiling at me and the nurse. "Can you tell me what brings you here today?"
I took a deep breath and went through the whole sordid affair again.
To his credit, Dr. Cullen kept a neutral, nonjudgmental expression throughout the interview.
"And my parents brought me, and now here we are," I finished.
"I'm glad you agreed to come here," he said, his face morphing into a more serious expression. "I'm worried about your ribs. You took quite a fall. I'm ordering a set of x-rays for you, and our pediatrician is also ordering a set for your son."
To add insult to injury, Alex and my mom were in another room. Child Protective Services would question Alex and didn't want me present. I knew it was procedure and would probably benefit me when I filed for separation, but it hurt not to be with my baby.
"Is Alex okay?" I asked.
"Dr. Cullen said he's doing well and worried about you. The social worker should be done soon, and you'll probably reunited in a few minutes. I see you work at Mercy?"
"I'm a social worker if you can appreciate the irony," I replied, and something rang in my sluggish mind. "Another Dr. Cullen?"
Both Dr. Cullen and Esme smiled at each other. "Our nephew Garrett."
The other Dr. Cullen, and the social worker, Bree Tanner, met up with me while I was in x-ray.
Alex saw me and lit up like a firecracker. "Mommy!" he squealed.
"Hey, sweetie," I said, feeling a million times better at the blurry sight of his gowned body.
"Careful, buddy," younger Dr. Cullen said. I couldn't make him out too much due to my poor eyesight. All I knew was that he was tall with auburn hair.
"Oh, sorry, Mommy," he said, slowing down.
"It's okay, Alex," I replied, "Can he sit with me?"
"Yes," Esme said, "just be careful. We're still ruling out a concussion and broken ribs."
I nodded, and Alex very gingerly walked up to me and climbed on my lap.
"How is he?" I asked once Alex laid his head on my chest, much like he was a baby.
"Perfect, all superficial contusions," younger Dr. Cullen said in that polite, reassuring tone that made me want to cry.
"Can I stay with Mommy? Or do I hafta go back with you, Miss Bree?" Alex asked, his lip quivering a little.
"No, honey. You can stay with your mom," Bree assured him. Mrs. Whitlock, I just wanted to assure you personally that you don't have to worry about anything with us, okay?"
I nodded, feeling relieved that I didn't have to worry about CPS coming in and taking the kids. I knew from experience how traumatic separation and reunification could be for children.
"There are a few things we'll need to talk about once Officer Black returns," Bree said in a more serious tone.
I nodded, knowing they would insist that I file charges and a restraining order against Jasper. I got along with my in-laws, but Jasper was their son. I had no allusions to where their loyalty lay. Since Jasper's parents were prominent figures, this would get
messy. Peter Whitlock was an attorney with a lot of money.
"Let's get Bella to x-ray," Esme said, "Alex, can you walk next to your mommy? It might hurt her if we hit a bump and you're on her lap."
"Yes," Alex agreed, immediately jumping from my lap and taking my hand. I holded your hand, Mommy, don't be scared."
For the millionth time today, I felt my eyes water and turned my head so he wouldn't notice.
"Thanks, Alex," I told him, as he took my hand and Esme started wheeling me down the walkway.
I was given a clean bill of health an hour later. My ribs were bruised, not broken, thank heavens. I had a sprain on my right hand where I fell and some stitches on my scalp where Jasper pulled my hair. The rest was just contusions and would disappear in a few days. Physically, I would be fine; emotionally, I was a wreck.
As I had predicted, Officer Black returned to inform me that they would arrest Jasper and recommended that I file an order of protection against him. CPS was going to also launch a formal investigation. I was recommended to go to a shelter or somewhere else Jasper didn't know about. Jake had returned to my house to speak with Jasper, who was not there. Worry flooded me regarding Jasper. Because even after all of this, I did love him. He wasn't evil; his disease made him do evil things, but I couldn't stick around and wait for him to get sober. I knew if he did get sober, he had to do it for himself.
"Ready?" Mom asked gently; Charlie stood next to her stock still.
I nodded and gingerly got off the table. Charlie came over and helped me.
"Oh, here," he said gruffly, his neck a little red, handing me a glasses case once I was off the table.
I popped it open and pulled out a pair of black oval-framed glasses. "Dad?" I asked, putting them on. The room finally came into focus.
"I went to Lens Crafters while you were back there," he explained. Rose got your prescription for me. I'm sorry. I didn't know what you liked."
"Thanks Dad," I told him sincerely, just glad to see again. It wasn't like I could go home and get my glasses or contacts.
"Anytime, kiddo," he said, giving me another awkward side hug.
"Rose got some clothes for you and the kids," Mom told me in her no-nonsense teacher voice.
I nodded because I couldn't go home again and was supposed to be lying low, not shopping at Walmart.
Mom and Charlie carefully got me into Mom's SUV. Everything hurt, but at least it wasn't broken. Alex climbed in next to me and started sleeping on my shoulder. I was jealous of his temporary escape as his eyes went back and forth in his little head.
Mom started driving, and we discussed Officer Black's recommendation to go to a shelter.
"I don't know if that's the best idea," Mom said, "You should stay with us. You would have plenty of support."
"Yeah, except Jasper knows where you live," I reminded her, my training as a social worker kicking in.
"Don't worry about that," Charlie said from his seat. "He won't bother at your mother's."
The sky was now dark, indicating how much time had passed since this morning. I was suddenly so tired. I wished I could crawl into my bed, but I knew that was not an option.
"How do you know that, Charlie," Mom asked.
"Emmett and I had some time to kill while waiting for Bella's glasses. We had a chat with Jasper. He's not coming to your house, Renee," he said.
"Dad!" I hissed, not wanting him to do something stupid, no matter how well intended.
"Look, he needs straightening out and there is no way his prissy parents are going to do that," Charlie said. "Don't worry, we didn't hurt, I just made sure that he knows to give you some space, Bells, while you figure out what you want to do. And I told him to get some help."
"Dad, this isn't the eighties; scared straight doesn't work," I replied, mortified that my mostly estranged daddy felt the need to fight my battles for me.
"You never know," Renee said, smiling at Charlie, a first. "Well done, Charlie."
Charlie blushed a little. "You had to do most of the heavy lifting, Renee, on childrearing. This one is on me."
She blushed a little, too, and for the briefest of moments, I could see why my parents ever got married. It was weird, but the connection was there.
I ended up not going to a shelter since, unlike a lot of domestic abuse victims, I did have a good support system. Mom and Phil felt a lot better being able to put on eyes on me and the kids. Rose and Em were only a few blocks away, and Charlie could be there in a few minutes. So, the decision was made; at least for the next few nights, I would stay in my old childhood bedroom.
I woke up feeling disoriented the following morning and realized I was not in my house. Faded Nirvana and 90210 posters stared at me and the kids. Alex was beside me in the bed, and Elle was on my other side in a pack-and-play. Both kids were still asleep, but I knew that wouldn't last long. Every muscle in my body hurt like I had been in a car accident. Jasper really had down a number on me. I hoped Alex wouldn't feel like that when he woke up.
Still, morning had come, and I needed to get up. The first order of the day was to call out at work again. Then, I needed to get back to my house; funny how I stopped thinking of it as a home and cleared out my things and the kids. Billy Black came by last night and told me that we were going to arrest Jasper this morning, so once we got the call, we were going back with a U-Haul. I didn't want to risk another confrontation with Jasper. I was pretty sure that his parents were going to call me at some point when they realized their son was arrested. Another scene I didn't want to have, especially with them being denial about their only son.
As if sensing my turmoil, I realized that Elle was looking at me, her pretty blue eyes, her father's eyes, staring at me with a big gummy smile. It was also Jasper's smile.
"Morning, baby," I smiled and lifted her gently, and Alex started to stir.
It was time to get up.
After calling out again, I called the local U-Haul to reserve a truck, and then both Phil and Charlie insisted on getting a storage locker for my things.
"You don't have to make any immediate decisions," Phil explained. You can take your time and figure out what you need to do."
The second order of business was to determine when Jasper would be arrested. Billy promised to notify Charlie so we could go over. Mom would take the kids for me while I dealt with the house.
The final thing was to get a lawyer. Rose was going to help with that part; her friend Kate was going to help. She was coming to the house to document everything I took and the state of the place—according to Charlie and Emmett, it was rough—to ensure that Jasper couldn't claim that I stole anything.
Alex wanted to play outside, so we let him out in the backyard so he could play on the swing set Phil installed when we first moved into the house.
Phil joined me with a mug of coffee I gratefully took it as we watched Alex play.
"Thank you," I told him, inhaling a deep breath of Colombia's finest cup. My parents always sprung for the good stuff.
"Anytime," Phil replied, winking at me. "Are the ribs, hun?"
"Painful," I replied, deciding to be honest. Phil was one parent I felt I didn't have to pretend with. He had been there when I was confused and angry. Phil had been there when Mom and Charlie fought over me. He taught me how to drive, helped me with my homework, and was my dad when Charlie was facing his demons. He was my father in every way that counted.
"I know - I got bruised more times than I care to remember when I was playing football in high school, probably why I went the baseball route," he smirked, shaking his head at some distant memory. "Bella, I wanted to talk to you alone. You're going to get through this, you know."
Now, it was my turn to smirk. "That's funny, Dad, because every time I think about how this is going to work, it's just so overwhelming," I replied.
"I know it seems overwhelming now, but this will get better. Your mom, Charlie, me, Rose, we're here for you," Phil reminded me. For a brief moment, I felt better not being alone, but the stress was still there.
"I just don't get it Dad," I told him, "I can't reconcile the Jasper I married with this person."
Phil raised his eyebrows and looked down at his coffee mug, some of the world's best grandpa deal. We got it for him one year on Father's Day. "I can't either," Phil said finally, "I didn't have to deal with this with my first wife. And I didn't know Charlie before he got sick. I only saw him at the worst of his addiction and when he went to recovery. Your mother said it the best; when your dad was sober, he was the best; when he was high, he was a monster."
"Bella - telephone," Angela said, interrupting us, her eyes huge, holding the receiver to the landline.
I thought about the Serenity prayer, particularly this part: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
I knew that I could not change Jasper, and there was a good chance our marriage was over. Even if he went to rehab, I was not sure I could move past the last couple of years. I wondered if that was the prayer meant by wisdom.
AN: Well, what do you know – two chapters in two days! In the next chapter, Bella is going to have to deal with Jasper's arrest and this could mean. We'll also see if Jasper decides to get help.
The Serenity Prayer was added to AA meetings in 1941 to both open and close sessions. Al-Anon meetings also use it as it well. As Bella had an alcoholic father growing up she would have most likely been exposed to the prayer. We use it in healthcare as well too. During the pandemic, the pastoral care department in our hospital gave out to us a way to keep us focused. I still have my copy pinned to my desk.
Hope everyone has a happy and healthy New Year! I'm ready to kiss 2024 good bye! As always – thank you for the wonderful reviews.