To the average human, it was just a simple average knock, but to me and my active imagination, it sounded like the door was about to be knocked off its hinges. Like a scared child, I raced up the stairs into my room and quickly but quietly closed the door. The first thing that popped into my mind was the one thing i loved but also filled my dreams with nightmares. vampire. It was gonna get into the house, find me in my room, and kill me! I leaned against my door, hyperventilating, looking around for something to defend myself with. Then, the common sense part of my brain caught up and squashed my overactive imagination.
Really?! My brain screamed at me. Why would a vampire with super strength and extremely high jumping skills knock on the door?!
Ugh. I felt stupid. A vampire wouldn't waste time knocking or quietly breaking in. They would have kicked down the door or ripped my bedroom window out and gotten to me in less than a minute. If it was a vampire, i would be dead before i got half way up the stairs. I silently scoffed at myself and shook my head as I thought of the image of a murderous vampire politely knocking and waiting for me to answer it.
The knock happened again, this time it sounded more desperate to get in. Who could it be? I looked at the clock. It's almost 6pm, no one came around this late. I crept towards my bedroom window that looked out by the front door. I saw nothing. Then another pound at the door, followed by my name being called out. I pressed my face closer to the glass. At first I didn't see anything until the knocker finally managed to set off the motion detector light. I was a bit surprised who I saw knocking.
It was Seth, the young son of Harry Clearwater, my dad's other best friend. He was always following me and jake around when i spent all that time on the reservation. ugh, just thinking of jake made my heart hurt..
Slowly, I opened my window and leaned out.
"Seth?"
He startled and looked around as if he couldn't figure out where my voice was coming from. He finally looked up in my direction and noticed me. His mouth fell open. It sounded like he tried to say something, but i couldn't understand him. He closed his mouth, cleared his throat, and tried again.B-b-Bella! Oh wow! I didn't think... Can I come in, please?! I need to.." He sounded upset. I had never heard him sound like that before. Even though he was only a young teenager, he usually sounded composed and laid back. Like his soul was older than his body. Right now, he sounded like a scared little boy.
"Um, yeah. Just a minute." As I was wondering what had happened, I closed my window and hurried downstairs. What was going on..? Did something happen to Jake? I got to the front door, and just as I started opening it, it flew open, sending me staggering back. Before i could comprehend what was going on, Seth was charging through the door and had me wrapped in a bear hug. My arms pinned to my side as he gave me the biggest hug anyone has probably ever had.
Still wildly confused and not knowing what to do, I just stood there. I heard him whispering something into my hair, but i couldn't make it out clearly. I felt something wet drip down the side of my face. Was he crying?
"Uh, Seth. I can't move." I was starting to lose feeling in my fingers. I attempted to free myself but it was no use. I was stuck.
"oh yeah, sorry." he freed me from his iron grasp but continued to hold on to one of my hands, like he was afraid to let me go. His eyes were bloodshot. He caught me looking at him and looked down, wiping his face. I felt awkward just standing there, so i quietly led him into the living room and onto the big couch.
We both sat down. He was staring at me like I was some sort of ghost. He had so many emotions running across his face. First fear, then relief, then confusion and awe. I felt my cheeks go hot and I'm sure I was as red as a tomato. What was going on? Why did he have to look at me like this?
I figited in my seat. I wish he would look away. "Umm Seth..? Are you ok?" I paused, waiting for him to say something. He just sat and stared at me some more. I didn't like this feeling. I just wanted him to spit it out. "Would you stop looking at me like that?!" I growled a bit more rudely than I meant to.
"S-s-sorry" He immediately turned his eyes to the floor. "I'm jus- just glad to see you. When we didn't hear anything from you.." He trailed off as if he forgot how to speak.
Now I felt crazy. Seth and I weren't really that close. In fact, I barely knew him. He would always be hanging around Emily's house when I was staying over on the reservation. He was always kind, helpful, and a little shy. He really enjoyed being in the kitchen, sampling all the dishes that were served. That, or following Jacob everywhere he went and copying everything he did. He was like Jacobs' second shadow. Besides him liking food, Jacob and video games, I didn't really know much about him.
"..Oh?" I waited for him to say more but realized he wasn't going to finish. "and?" Seth didn't say anything at first. He just sat there, nervously fiddling with the buttons on his shirt and seemed to be suddenly very interested at the pattern of the rug next to us. I took a deep breath and said slowly "Is everyone at the res ok?"
"Yeah!" His eyes snapped up and focused on me "Everyone is fine. It was, well... i don't know.." Seth looked scared, like he had a secret and was dying to share, but at the same time, terrified that i would find out.. He went back to looking at the rug.
I was growing impatient. If everyone was fine why was he here? I started to wonder if he came because he actually wanted to or if he was sent here.. i glared at him. "Seth, why are you here!?"
Seth looked embarrassed but finally spoke. "I just wanted to be sure you were ok! Honest!. I... we.." i could tell he was choosing his words carefully. He sighed "We heard what happened between you and Jacob.. We also found out about him texting and sending voicemails.." I blushed and felt the familiar fiery hole ripping at my chest. I didn't want to talk about this right now. I felt tears threaten to fall at any second.
"we don't know what he said to you on the texts.. but Jared and Paul heard the ending of one of the voicemails.. We just wanted to know if you are ok and -"
"Seth, stop!" I yelled. I could hear my voice cracking. We both looked at each other, surprised at what just came out of my mouth. i had never really yelled like that at anyone before. "I can't do this right now.. I just had one of the worst days of my life.." I felt a tear slide down my face. Seth looked at me, confused.
"I... I didn't have my phone on. Ever since that very first text after the incident.. where i broke his heart and he told me he didnt want to hear from me.. He said to wait.. so I had it in my desk drawer. I decided that since the only people who talked to me on it weren't talking to me anymore, there was no reason to carry it around. It was off.." i took a deep breath, trying not to completely break down in front of the man before me.
"r-re-recently, i have gotten this strong urge to look at my phone.. I kept wondering if anyone had bothered to contact me. I doubted it, but i kept wondering. Finally, today, i charged my phone.. When i turned it on, I got every single message sent from everybody. All you guys knew was what he said for weeks, you had time to process.. but I just found all this out a few hours ago!" Great, more tears.
I was growing hysterical. Seth looked so uncomfortable, like he wanted to run from the room but was rooted to the spot. He had probably never dealt with an over dramatic girl before. With tears now streaming down my face, i continued. " I am broken, Seth. Jacob was right.. I am worthless and pathetic, just like he said." Seth's confusion turned to bewilderment. Oh yeah, he didn't know what was sent to me. He tried to say something, but I shushed him.
"NO! I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear your excuses or whatever you have to say. Did someone send you here to report back to them?! Well tell them that they succeeded! Bella is officially broken." I paused for a moment thinking over what I just voice got quieter as i stared off to the side "Shes broken... but too much of a coward.. I'm too much of a coward to do what he wanted me to do.."
I could tell Seth was trying to comprehend all the things that had just come out of my mouth. I was so ashamed, i couldnt look at him.
"what..? what are you talking about? what all did he say?!" He scooted closer to me, trying to put a comforting hand on my shoulder but i shook it off. Should i tell him? would it even be worth it?
I stood up and started to walk towards the stairs. "wait here" I hurried up the steps to my room. I scooped the phone up and trudged back down the steps. I unlocked my phone as i tried my best to hide the screen from my eyes. i couldn't handle seeing his messages again.
i crossed the living room back to a scared looking Seth. "here" i tossed the phone to him which he easily caught with one hand. "you want to know what he said, well take a look." with that i crumbled back down into the couch. i wrapped my arms around me. Hoping to keep this breaking feeling in my heart from getting any bigger.
He turn the phone around, found the messages folder and began to scroll. His eyes were studying every word. I watched his eyes go from curious, to frustrated, to shocked and then rage. I reached up and yanked the phone out of his hand and threw it onto my dad's chair. This conversation was over. I looked at the time, barely 6:15. Strange, I felt like we had been talking for hours. i felt so drained.
"Bella, i swear we didn't know what he said. We would have -"
"NO!" i screamed again. I put my head in my hands. i rubbed my eyes before i looked up at him, pleading.
"Please Seth." My voice dropped down to barely a whisper. "Please just leave.. please tell everyone to leave me alone.. please leave.. and never come back." At that I stood up and walked to the door. I opened it and held it open hoping that he would get what I was trying to say and get out.
Slowly, Seth stood up and started to walk out the door. Suddenly, he stopped and turned like he had something to say. I didn't want to hear it, so I slammed the door in his face. I looked out the peep hole as Seth slowly turned and walked to a big truck where someone was sitting in the drivers seat. He climbed in, turned his head to look back at the house once more before he slammed the door, and the truck drove slowly down the street.