4/6/2012 (Last edited on 07/15/2019 - Minor edits) - Hello, people of FanFiction dot net. I'm back again with the next chapter of my very first fanfic that I have ever written in my entire life. I'm thankful that I've gotten reviews for my story. There are now 7 reviews as of this chapter! ^_^ As the author of this story, I'm happy to see reviews being left behind. It motivates me to continue on with this story of mine. ^_^ I do apologize in advance if my writing is terrible or if my descriptions of things are terrible or if the character's personalities are a little off. Even though some of the character's personalities might/will be slightly altered for the sake of my fanfic, I'll try to remain faithful to their overall "spirit" that was portrayed in the anime series. Clannad is my favorite anime series of all time, so I felt compelled to write a story of my own. I hope you enjoy it. And once again, any feedback that you can provide would be nice and very appreciated. ^_^ And with that, here is chapter 3:
Paragraphs in italics denote a flashback. Single words in italics / single words in regular print during a flashback denote emphasis and should be read as such.
Chapter rated T for: Brief mild language and suggestive themes.
Genre: Comedy/Drama/Romance/Slice of Life
Pairing(s): None at the moment (Tomoya x Tomoyo/Kyou/Nagisa/Fuko/Kotomi has been teased, though...)
Author's Note #1: The beginning of this chapter starts 4:14 minutes into episode 18 of the first season.
Author's Note #2: 'still debating as to whether or not I want Tomoya to end up with someone by the end of this long story. 'might take into consideration feedback from whoever might read this story of mine. It's no guarantee, but it's still fun to see what readers want to see. I've now included a poll on my profile page. You can go vote for your choice there. ;) Hmm, since two people have brought it up, I wonder if I should ship Sunohara with anyone by the end of this story...
Author's Note #3: Perspective will be shifting back and forth a little in this chapter. (You'll eventually know who's narrating once you keep reading on.)
Author's Note #4: It didn't start off at first, but eventually, this chapter ended up being longer than the previous one, and chapter 2 was already longer than chapter 1! Hope you don't mind the length...
Clannad ~Different Days~
-The Everyday Arc-
Vague Synopsis - It's not quite the same story that you might remember, even if it feels strangely familiar. A different world, different relationships, different events...different days...
Chapter 3 – A Half-Remembered Dream, Part 3
I stared silently out the window as the engines of the bus quietly roared in the background of my ears. People flashed by before my very eyes as the bus continued on its way towards its destination. There was the occasional chatter and whisper going on inside the relatively quiet bus, but I didn't pay much heed to any of them. My worried mind was a little preoccupied with... other things. I couldn't help but think about a certain blue haired boy who has been on my mind constantly for quite some time now.
"Tomoya-kun…" I whispered his name so softly, making sure that no one could accidentally overhear me muttering it. Usually, when I was around everyone else, I always referred to Tomoya as "Okazaki-kun". Despite knowing him for well over a year now, I still couldn't bring myself to call him by his first name. There was a distance that separated the two of us, and it was reflected in my unwillingness to even approach him in any meaningful way. There were still a lot of things about Tomoya that I didn't really know about. It was moments like these that I found myself filled with regret. The few times that I have managed to talk with him, my older sister was usually the one contributing the most to the conversation. Being the quiet self that I was, I tended to fade into the background. Onee-chan would occasionally throw odd glances my way as a way of encouraging me to talk to him. But being around Tomoya-kun made me so nervous, I couldn't find the time to form the words that I wanted to say to him. I constantly worried that I might screw things up and embarrass myself in front of him. Though there were still many things about Tomoya-kun that remains a mystery to me, I knew for a fact, without any doubt within my heart, that he was a genuinely kind person. Onee-chan would say that he is kind as well, perhaps far too kind, maybe to a fault even. But that was precisely the reason that I was drawn towards him in the first place. Despite the fact that he had a reputation of being a delinquent, his personality said otherwise. Sure, he may be lazy and he may joke around a lot with Sunohara-kun, but Tomoya-kun always seemed to go out of his own way to help a friend in need.
I noticed that the bus was slowly coming to a grinding halt. Realizing that this was my stop, I slowly got up from my seat and proceeded to walk out of the bus. Sunohara-kun's apartment was just a short walk away from the bus stop. I silently made my way there, my eyes remaining fixed towards the ground, occasionally glancing upward to make sure that I wouldn't bump into anyone or anything. When I noticed onee-chan waiting out in front of the apartment building, she was waving her right hand at me from afar, a large grin apparent on her face even from this distance. I quickened my pace, almost to a light jog.
"Well, shall we head inside, Ryou?"
I nodded my head in silence, as the two of us entered the building. We didn't know where Sunohara-kun's room was located, but fortunately, we ran into someone who looked like she was in charge of the place. Kyou took the initiative and decided to ask her for directions.
"Um, excuse me, ma'am, do you happen to know where Youhei Sunohara's room is located?"
"Ah, you must be here to see Okazaki, aren't you?"
"Wait, you know that we're here to see him?" I was taken aback at how this woman knew that Tomoya-kun was expecting company as well, as well as my older sister.
"Yeah, Sunohara left me a message before he left for school earlier today. Said something about how his friend would be crashing in his room for today. I think he's back from wherever he went off to."
"Did he say where he went?"
"He said he was going to just wander around the town for a bit. I guess you'll have to ask him when you see him then. I'll escort you to Sunohara's room myself if you want me to."
"That would be great, thank you."
"It's no trouble at all. Oh, I haven't introduced myself to you two. I'm Misae Sagara, the dorm mother in charge of the boy's and girl's dorm." She gave a small bow as she made her brief introduction to us.
"I'm Kyou Fujibayashi, a friend of Youhei and Tomoya."
"And I'm Ryou Fujibayashi, her twin sister. I'm also friends with Sunohara-kun and Okazaki-kun." I mirrored her actions as I bowed, lowering the upper half of my body and closing my eyes for a few seconds before reopening them, a small smile adorning my face.
The three of us slowly made our way to Sunohara-kun's room where Tomoya-kun was waiting for us. She told us that his room was on the second floor and we would be going up the stairs to get there. While we were walking, I began to notice how eerily quiet the entire building was. The only noise that could be heard was the patter of our own footsteps coming from below our shoes, quietly echoing down the hallways. I focused on the woman whom we exchanged introductions with a short while ago as the three of us silently walked, my eyes focusing on her back. She was a beautiful woman who only appeared to be several years older than us. Long raven blue hair tied into a bun on the back of her head. A long sleeve white shirt with the sleeves slightly rolled up her arms and long blue jeans were both covered by a faded yellow apron that covered her chest, abdomen, and thighs. And I can't forget about her piercing yellow eyes.
Wanting to strike up some conversation to end the strange silence, I worked up the nerve to ask a question. Of course, it took me several moments before I could think of a decent question. After several moments of pondering, I eventually settled on asking the obvious.
"Um, is it… usually this quiet around here, Sagara-san?"
Onee-chan must've been surprised to hear me ask a question, for she immediately turned her head around to look at me properly.
"Wow, where did that question come from, Ryou?"
"I was just curious, that's all."
"Oh, you don't have to call me Sagara-san. It makes me feel old. Please, call me Misae." Onee-chan and I simply nodded our heads, embarrassed smiles on our faces acting as a form of an apology to her. Judging from the look on Misae-san's face, she wasn't offended in the slightest as she proceeded to answer my question. "As for your earlier question, no, it's usually much louder around here, the guy's dorm more so than the girl's anyway. The guys on the rugby team usually give me a lot of trouble, but I manage things here just fine. Sunohara can also be a nuisance at times as well."
Onee-chan had an exasperated smile on her face. "Sounds like a handful to deal with. Sorry you have to deal with all of that."
"Don't be. Despite all of the hassle those boys constantly give me, I believe they all look up to me… in their own way…or at least, that's what Okazaki told me. But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me."
"What did he say exactly?" Natural curiosity got the better of me as I asked that question out of hesitation. Turning to look at onee-chan, I noticed that she was grinning widely at me. She must've found it amusing that I was starting to speak up simply because of Tomoya-kun being the topic of our conversation now. I couldn't help but begin blushing out of embarrassment, my eyes facing the wooden floor now.
"Hmm, what were his exact words again?" Misae-san stood there pondering for several moments in absolute quietness, right index finger and thumb cupping her chin as she closed her eyes, thinking of the words of encouragement that Tomoya-kun gave her. Once again, whether he realized it or not, Tomoya-kun ended up helping someone out simply by giving out advice. Sometimes, I wonder if he actually knows that he has a huge influence on the people around him. But then again, I get the feeling that there may be other things on his mind that worry him to no end, and helping people is one way of him dealing with his own personal problems.
"I might not recall his exact words, but I remember the gist of it. Okazaki and I had a brief conversation before he left the apartment building. I made an off-handed remark, wondering how people could still come to like a person like me, despite the fact that I tend to scold people all the time. Care to wager a guess as to how he responded to that?"
"I couldn't even begin to imagine." There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice as she softly chortled at her own statement. I guess she was expecting some crazy remark, but knowing him, I knew that he was more than capable of articulating meaning things to other people.
"Well, Okazaki said that it wasn't like that at all. Despite the fact that I scold them, I only do it because I care about them. He mentioned that the rugby guys are always talking about how nice I smell, like body wash." Misae-san was now laughing as it appeared that she had come to realize something. "I now remember his exact words...he said "I know that sounds like kind of a weird compliment, but the thing is, in a dorm full of filthy guys, you're like a princess, like a diamond in a dunghill, I guess."
Onee-chan and I couldn't help but stifle our incoming urge to laugh out loud at Tomoya-kun's words. I never said that he was the most eloquent articulator, but the meaning behind his words usually gets through, even if they come from a bizarre choice of words sometimes.
"Diamond in a dunghill...Oh, Tomoya-kun..." My sister was still in disbelief as the three of us resumed walking, making our way up the winding stairs. We turned right when we reached the top of the stairs onto the second floor. Continuing straight on ahead for several more paces, the three of us stopped in front of a door on the left.
"Well, this is Sunohara's room. Okazaki should be inside, but there's only one way for you to find out for sure. He's really lucky to have two cute girls worrying over him." Misae-san gave us a teasing wink as I felt the sudden rise of heat flowing onto my entire face. Onee-chan was chuckling embarrassingly at her comment.
"Uh, thanks, Misae."
"Well, I have errands that I have to attend to around here. If you need me, I'll be on the first floor." Onee-chan and I thanked the older woman as she wistfully made her way back downstairs once more. Now, it was just the two of us, standing right in front of Sunohara-kun's room. She was just staring at the door, lost in thought. I couldn't help but wonder: was my older sister nervous, afraid? Those were the last words anyone would ever use to describe Kyou Fujibayashi, but there is no denying that she becomes a different person whenever Tomoya-kun is around. My sapphire eyes couldn't help but gaze on in worry as I perceived a hint of regret within her amethyst orbs. This entire mess with Tomoya-kun might just put our entire group of friends into chaos at the right things were going. And we have the school play to worry about as well. If we don't figure out a way to peacefully resolve this conflict, Nagisa-chan's play might be doomed to failure.
"Onee-chan, what are you thinking about right now?" I whispered aloud to my older sister. I had a pretty good feeling that my prediction was right, that Tomoya-kun was the center of her thoughts at the moment, but it couldn't hurt to get a confirmation from her.
"You have a pretty good idea, don't you?" I believe that I was right after all.
"Okazaki-kun?" I asked her with a soft innocence in my voice.
"Don't you want to go see him?" Of course I did... and yet, I felt like we were intruding on him in a way...
"Yes...but is this really all right? I mean, how will he react to us being here?"
Onee-chan merely shrugged offhandedly. "Tomoya is Tomoya. I'm sure he'll be glad to see us."
"If you insist, onee-chan." I sighed in resignation as I quietly reach out to knock on the door.
My eyes slowly opened to the scenery around me. From the legs of the brown coffee table... to everything else in his room, I suddenly remembered that I was back in Sunohara's place once more. I must've fallen asleep without realizing it. I repositioned myself so that I was now sitting upright. Without realizing it, my mind subconsciously thought back to a certain auburn-haired girl...
"It's already been three days. Why is she the only thing I can think about?" Nagisa... ever since she had fallen ill with a fever, my mind had been constantly worrying over her fragile health. My concerns over her were momentarily distracted the moment my ears heard two faint knocks on the wooden door. I wonder who it could've possibly been? Tomoyo, maybe? She has stopped by Sunohara's room before, dragging him from out of his sleep in order for him to get to school on time. But then I remembered, wouldn't she be busy with prepping for the student council elections? Getting up from my position on the floor, I lazily made my way towards the door, turning the door knob slowly as my eyes met sapphire and amethyst.
"Hi there! Have you been lonely without us?"
"I heard about what happened. It's a real shame."
To my surprise, it was the Fujibayashi twins who showed up at the door. Kyou Fujibayashi was the older twin and the more assertive one, as her lavender eyes bore into me with piercing gleefulness. Ryou Fujibayashi was the younger twin but was shyer and reserved, having calm and gentle cerulean eyes.
I met Kyou a year ago during my second year of high school. [1] It was the first day of the new semester and Sunohara and I had gotten us into some trouble. As punishment, we had to stay after school and help hammer and nail signboards up which were to be used for the entrance ceremony for the first-year students. Kyou was the class representative for that year and was watching over us, making sure that we were actually fulfilling our obligations.
Fujibayashi… I met her a few weeks after I had first met Kyou through an amusing incident of misunderstanding… but I'll save that story for another day… [2]
Anyway, they were certainly the last two people that I would expect to appear at Sunohara's dorm room. "I wasn't expecting you guys."
"What does that mean? Who were you expecting?"
"Oh, no one, really." I didn't like the condescending tone that Kyou was giving off with that derisive question of hers. My eyes shifted its focus from right to left, from the older sibling to the younger one. I couldn't help but noticed the depressed look on Fujibayashi's face the moment Kyou made that offhanded comment. From the look on her face, she didn't like it either. I felt a little guilty, that I might have accidentally said something to bring upon this heavy air that permeated between the three of us right now. The twins were both smiling at me just several seconds ago when they greeted me, too. I didn't mean to upset them, though I could've chosen my words a little better to make me seem less... indifferent? Uncaring? Was that the right word to use here? I didn't care whose fault it was. I knew I had to change the topic quickly to turn things around.
"Quick question: how did you two find me here?" A sudden pause hung over my question as I came to the obvious conclusion instantly. "Wait, let me guess... Sunohara, right? It is his room after all." My mind had the occasional bout of being absent-minded at the worst of times. Now was such a moment.
"Well, actually, we were kind of in a hurry to get here... and totally neglected to ask Youhei where his room was located." Kyou was laughing very awkwardly while scratching the side of her head. Were those two that desperate to get over here quickly? Something didn't feel right... And if they didn't figure out where I was from Sunohara, was it Misae-san who escorted them to this door? I quickly glanced both to the left and right of the twins, but saw no signs of her presence anyway, just empty, quiet hallways. She probably left the two here while she attended to her duties as the dorm mother of this building.
"But wait, are you implying that you didn't see him elsewhere throughout the day?"
"Well, all of us, well, besides you and Nagisa, met in the club room, as usual... but let's just say... things aren't the same with the two of you gone."
"Yes, we barely managed to strike up any conversation that's full of the usual energy. It was... pretty morose, to say the least." The younger sister chimed in with her own comment on the matter. Seems things were pretty out of whack with Nagisa and I absent from school.
Kyou momentarily perked up all of a sudden. "We were lucky that we ran into the dorm mother of this building, Misae."
Ryou's frown slowly turned into a smile. "Mhmm, she was the one who lead us to your room." Well, that answered that question from earlier.
I noticed that Kyou was beginning to make a sour face at me with her left eyebrow raised...with a grin slowly coming onto her face? "Diamond... in a dunghill?" It took me several seconds before her words registered in my mind, and when it did, I gave her a cross look, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
"...Your point?"
"Nothing. Just making an observation, that's all." There was a haughty tone in her voice that I wanted to call out, but I chose not to say anything. Knowing how violent Kyou can get at times, I thought it was a wise decision on my end to keep quiet. She kept staring at me, hoping that I would make a witty comeback or something, but none ever came. A soft sigh escaped from her mouth.
...I wondered where this was going.
The three of us now found ourselves walking down the streets of the shopping district. It was almost 2:50 pm. There weren't a whole lot of people around, so the streets weren't too terribly crowded.
"You're under suspension. Can you really go out like this? Aren't you supposed to be staying at home?"
"You say that, and yet you were the one who invited me in the first place." I was glad that I wasn't the only one who shared the same thought as Tomoya-kun.
"By the way onee-chan, where are we going?"
"That's a... good question." Since onee-chan was the one who asked Tomoya-kun to tag along with us, I thought she would have some idea as to where we were going. From her response there, I guess she didn't have an answer after all.
We found ourselves at the arcade center now. The first thing onee-chan did was sprint towards the claw machine at the very front entrance. This wasn't the first time that we saw the thing. The three of us were here several days ago, with Nagisa-chan and Kotomi-chan tagging along with us as well. Onee-chan was desperately trying to get this huge, lavender anteater plush toy. Considering how big it was, even I had doubts that she would be able to pull it off. She ended up losing a lot of money and nothing to show for it, too. Onee-chan asked me, Tomoya-kun, Kotomi-chan, and Nagisa-chan if we wanted to try for ourselves. The four of us declined, knowing that we would run into the same unfortunate luck that she did. A mysterious young girl appeared from out of thin air, claiming that she could get it for us. We gave her an opportunity at the claw machine, but she ended up getting a star plush instead, and quietly running away afterwards. All five of us were perplexed at what we just happened to witness. [3] And yet, despite the confusion that I felt, there was this... unusual feeling of nostalgia when I stared at the girl with the blue ribbon. I couldn't really explain why I felt that way. It... was strange...
"You know, Kyou, at the rate you're going at, I think it would be much cheaper to just buy the plush from somewhere else." Tomoya-kun certainly found the sight of my exasperated sister failing miserably to be amusing. I couldn't help but gently laugh at his quip. He was grinning smugly and onee-chan certainly took notice of him.
"Cut the crap, Tomoya, I know that already! It's past that point a long time ago. This is a matter of pride, now. I'm not going to lose to some dumb machine! I swear, this thing has to be rigged!"
"You're not gonna get the manager like last time, are you?"
"I think I'll avoid dragging him into this mess this time. I wouldn't want to risk getting the three of us banned from this place."
Tomoya-kun and onee-chan have always been able to talk so freely, without restraint, without having to worry about what to say next. I wished... that I could talk with Tomoya-kun like that... A part of me was envious of my older sister, and yet, I couldn't help but faintly smile at the two of them as they continued on with their playful bickering.
We wasted a lot of time at the crane game machine. It was to the point where a few hours had gone by and I hadn't even realize it myself. After onee-chan finally yielded to defeat, the three of us headed to a fortune telling machine that was located nearby. There was a wooden stool and a blue cloth with the words "Horoscope" draping over the screen of the fortune telling machine. The stool looked big enough to seat two people. Tomoya-kun sat down, occupying the left half of the seat. Before I had the chance to react... or object, onee-chan placed both of her hands on my shoulders, motioning me to sit down next to him. Onee-chan volunteered to be the odd one out, opting to stand instead.
"Wow, this thing's pretty cool." Tomoya-kun's right hand was scrolling this ball on the machine, which acted like a mouse for a computer. There was another button that he pressed every few seconds. Looking at the screen, he was entering the characters that made up his name. He was also inputting some other information about himself as well.
"Well, if nothing else, Ryou can get her fortune-telling fix."
Tomoya-kun turned to look at me. Just the fact that our eyes met caused a burning blush on face. "Here, now you enter your name."
"Uh okay. Um, how do I...?"
"Use this thing right here."
"Ah, right!" I couldn't help but feel so extremely nervous, being next to Tomoya-kun like this. I was constantly worried that one mistake would ruin this happy atmosphere that I was now sharing with him.
"Wait, that's the symbol for male."
"O-oops." My heart immediately began to race, pulsating throughout my whole body. I tried to steel myself, wanting to avoid looking like a nervous wreck, but my hands were slightly trembling. A soft chime came ringing into our ears, as the machine displayed the next question.
"Ah." Tomoya-kun and I softly exclaimed, as we gazed at the question that was now etched onto the screen. A blush slowly formed on my face, the heat making me a little lightheaded. I had to blink my eyes a few times just to keep myself focused.
"What's our relationship?" The question threw me for a loop, as my right hand immediately withdrew from the ball. Tomoya-kun's right hand decided to take over as he was contemplating an answer to this.
"Well, let's see..."
"U-Um..." I was hesitant, clearly unable to decide how to go about answering this rather... intimate question. But before I could have any more time to myself to deliberate, Kyou forcibly joined the palm of my right hand on top of Tomoya-kun's hand.
"Come on, hurry it up!"
"Onee-chan, what are you...?!" I was beyond shocked at my own sister's boldness. My voice was pleading, wanting an immediate answer to what she just did, almost to the point where you could hear it breaking, a tinge of screeching that unknowingly escaped from my lips.
"It says you're supposed to put your hands together when you play."
"Sorry about this." I wanted to apologize to him for this newfound awkwardness that we now found ourselves in. Judging from Tomoya-kun's reaction, he didn't seem too bothered by it at all.
"It's all right, I don't mind." I could hear Tomoya-kun's hand gently inputting the answers into the machine. I kept my gaze towards the ground, unable to muster up the courage to be able to look at the answer that he was going to choose. Another chime echoed throughout my ears.
"Okay, there." My eyes darted upward towards the screen immediately out of reflex. A part of me feared the worst, but at the same time, a part of me knew that the answer he chose... was inevitable.
"Ah." Despite knowing that, my eyes couldn't help but widen at the answer he chose to the question.
"Uh! Come on! What's wrong with you?" Onee-chan's sudden outburst literally knocked Tomoya-kun off of his seat, as his body fell onto the ground.
"Whoa! Hold on! Damn it, Kyou! That hurt!" A gasp escaped from my mouth as my left hand instinctively covered over it out of reflex, muffling the sound.
"Oh, oh yeah? Well that's what you get for ruining the mood! You're supposed to pick 'lover,' not 'friend.' Otherwise, it's not any fun! Everyone knows that!"
The three of us were now walking down the streets once more, having left the arcade. The sun was already beginning to set below the horizon. Onee-chan was staring at the tiny slip of paper that the machine printed out for us. My mind couldn't help but think back to the incident that just occurred shortly a while ago, when onee-chan decided to place my hand on top of Tomoya-kun's. I loved my older sister, and I knew that she cared about me too, which was why she goes so far just to help me. And at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder what was going through her mind right now. I knew that she was madly in love with Tomoya-kun as well, but for her to simply give up like this, just so that I could have a shot at being with him... I couldn't help but think that onee-chan was being selfish in her own way. If she wanted to be with him so much, then why use me to get to him? Couldn't she just confess to Tomoya-kun himself? Did she share... the same fear that I do... that either of us being in a relationship with Tomoya-kun would make things so awkward among our friends? I just didn't know what to make of that. Onee-chan was strong, physically, emotionally, far more stronger than I ever could be, and yet, was she afraid? All the evidence told me that she was. To fathom that she had a vulnerable side might sound unbelievable to some people, but she was just human, like anybody else. She just wanted to love and be loved by someone who she trusts entirely with her heart. And yet, I feel that she fully understood that nothing could ever go back to the ways things are now if she were to start dating him. Nagisa-chan... Kotomi-chan... Sakagami-san... I was sure that they knew this as well. That was most likely the reason why none of them have confessed their feelings towards Tomoya-kun yet. And with Nagisa still trying to get the Drama Club reestablished, a conflict like this would just make matters worse. I didn't want to see any of my friends, or anyone in general, hurt at all. Love was supposed to be a happy and wonderful thing to behold and experience. It isn't without its own share of pain, but it shouldn't be this kind of pain, the kind that can destroy the bonds of friendship in a matter of seconds, the kind that can drive people to madness and death.
Was I... was I going to be the one... who had to make the impossible choice? At the rate things were going at...
"'A kind female and a male with a strong sense of responsibility. You will be very compatible friends. However, whether it develops beyond this is up to each individual.' Can't get any more generic than that, can you?" She handed the fortune over to me so that I could get the opportunity to glance at it as well.
"Aren't all fortunes like that? What'd you expect?" Tomoya-kun did make a good point there. Fortunes were never overly specific in the first place, for the most part.
"But still, I'm glad it didn't say we were totally incompatible." My eyes remained fixed onto that tiny piece of paper. The last line of the fortune gave me a small semblance of hope from the dark thoughts permeating my mind at the moment, allowing me to smile for just a short while. Onee-chan sprinted ahead of us for some unknown reason. I called out to her without thinking.
"Hey, onee-chan?" She turned her head towards us as an unusual smile adorned her face, one that was full of questionable doubt, betraying the sense of ease she wanted to instill in us.
"I have an errand to run, so I'm leaving. Tomoya, make sure Ryou gets home safe?"
"Hey!" Tomoya-kun called out to her, but she still kept on running. I was pretty sure that she ignored him on purpose.
My eyes remained focused on the pavement once more, now realizing why onee-chan just left the two of us... alone. I couldn't let this go on any more. I knew... that this issue was going to eat away at my mind if I didn't do something. And yet, my own guilt might eat away at my mind if I did do something. What would you do? What would anybody do in my position? As I finished deliberating with my own inner thoughts, I slowly closed my eyes... and took a small but deep breath.
For better... or for worse, I knew what I had to do then and there.
With Kyou conveniently out of the way, it was just now Fujibayashi and I left to our own devices. The two of us were now sitting on a bench at Hamura Station, waiting for her bus to arrive. She was seated to my right and I to her left. We didn't know how long we would be waiting for the bus to arrive, so I decided to strike up some idle conversation to pass the time. It gave me something else to do besides staring at the building in front of me.
"You're really into that fortune-telling stuff, huh?" I noticed the look of surprise in her eyes as she must had found it shocking that I was the one who initiated a conversation with her. Her eyes turned back towards the slip of paper in her right hand before she looked back at me, awkwardly smiling at me in nervousness.
"I think girls are genetically predisposed to be interested in fortune-telling."
"Yeah, too bad your fortune-telling is so..." Realizing that I was about to offend without actually being conscious of it, I stopped mid-sentence. "No, I mean..."
"Hehe, it's okay. I know I'm bad at it." Hearing her giggle abashedly at my insult caught me off guard. It certainly wasn't the kind of response that I had anticipated from her at all.
"Wait, you know you're bad?" I was surprised to see her admit something like that, considering how much she seemed to enjoy telling fortunes for other people.
"I have to admit, I'm still a little disappointed sometimes. But in the end, I think it actually works out better this way."
"Why's that?"
Ryou simply smiled at my curiosity. "Hmm, if a prediction is right, then it's like you only have one future, like that future has been decided. But if it's wrong, then you have an almost infinite number of possibilities, and that means that even the tiniest twist of fate can change your future. I want to believe that I have choices, that the path I walk has many different turns, and many different roads to follow."
My eyes turned from her towards the dimming sky, as I allowed myself time to let her words sink into me. Her words struck a chord in my mind. The paths that we ventured throughout our lives are determined by the choices that we do and don't make. Each decision sends us down a path that we thought might never have existed until we find ourselves walking on it.
I turned to look at my watch as I noticed that there was still time to kill. As the two of us were continuing to wait for Fujibayashi's bus to arrive, I decided to strike up some more idle chatter to hurry time along. There was something that had been on my mind for a while now, so I felt that with her sister Kyou nowhere nearby, I could ask her safely.
"Hey Fujibayashi, there's something that I've been meaning to ask you for a while now." I was staring right into her blue eyes. A small blush was slowly creeping onto her face as her eyes met mine. For a while now, I suspected that both of the Fujibayashi twins had feelings for me. To avoid any awkward moments between the three of us, I had decided to keep my mouth shut on the matter. But after what just happened at the arcade earlier, I felt that maybe I should start bringing it up sooner rather than later.
"Is something wrong, Okazaki-kun?" Well, here goes nothing, I told myself. I thought it wiser to try to ease ourselves into the obvious question first, though. It might've made things less stressful on her end. The question that I was about to ask her might cause her mind to go on the fritz, but I believed that I had to start saying something about the issue at hand. I asked her the first question that popped into my mind and worked my way from there on.
"Um, can I call you by your first name?" It was definitely a bold question, I'd admit, and I guess I was nervous as well, for I could hear my own heartbeat race just a tiny bit faster than it did before. Her face was already lighting up at my random question. That was the kind of reaction that I was expecting to see from the timid girl.
"Um… uh, wait, what? I… uh…"Fujibayashi was so flabbergasted that she was struggling to form even a coherent sentence. Her face was as red as a tomato right now, too; her eyes remained fixated to the ground, incapable of making direct eye contact with me anymore. I couldn't help but smile at the amusing sight before me. She was cute whenever she was flustered like this...and I oddly found it endearing in a way as well. Maybe I was pushing my luck a bit with this question of mine. I decided to try clarifying things a bit. My question was a serious one, but I figured I might as well try to lighten the mood a little to make things a little more bearable for the both of us.
"We're friends, right? I mean, we have known each other for over a year now. I figured that it was only natural that we should go by a first-name basis, wouldn't you agree… Ryou?" I emphasized her first name to prove that I was now being serious about my question. Now that I thought about it, why haven't I called her by her name after all this time anyway? Maybe it was because we weren't exactly the closest of friends to start with. But then again, I could say the exact same thing about Kyou as well. I didn't know a whole lot about her personal life and yet, I called the older sister by her first name. Was it because I felt more comfortable talking with Kyou? Kyou was assertive while Ryou was passive. But, that shouldn't matter, should it? In fact, if I were to think about it, I was supposed to have an easier time talking with Ryou over Kyou, simply because of how blunt the older sister can be. But the younger sister had a hard time forming words around me out of nervousness at being in my presence. And yet, Ryou was far kinder than her confrontational older sister.
The more I thought about it, the more I slowly came to realize that I was an absolute hypocrite. My mind was subconsciously poking holes in my own logic as I tried to rationalize my idiocy. Maybe I felt more comfortable around her? No, that couldn't be right at all. Both had their weak points and their strong points. So, thinking back on all this time that I had known the Fujibayashi twins... why was it that Kyou interested me more?
Ryou was still avoiding my face by the time I finished my question, but I noticed that her head was slowly turning towards me as I noticed that she was smiling brightly at my response.
"I certainly don't mind… Tomoya-kun. Of course, it's going to take a while for me to get used to it," she responded with a small giggle. I couldn't help but smile at her, feeling glad that I could ease her nervousness there.
"By the way, Tomoya-kun, what exactly made you ask that anyway?" That question was inevitable, and I was glad that she brought it up sooner rather than later.
"…back at the arcade earlier." I was a little hesitant to reply, but I managed. Now it was my turn to stare at the ground and break eye contact with Ryou. "If you don't want to talk about it, then that's okay."
"No, it's fine." My eyes were still focused on the cement ground. I was too nervous to look in Ryou's direction, so I didn't know how she was reacting to this right now. I couldn't bear to look. "It's about the fortune-telling machine we were at earlier, right?"
"…You wanted me to pick 'lover,' right?" I could hear an audible gasp escape from Ryou's mouth just now. I had definitely struck a chord with her.
"…Yes." She eventually answered, her response barely a whisper among the chatter and light traffic surrounding us. I pressed on further.
"Is it because-"
"Please stop, Tomoya-kun." My eyes hastily widened at the fact that she had interrupted me. The ever-shy Ryou Fujibayashi interjected in the middle of my question. I had to turn to look at her, to see the emotions that were permeating her face. A sudden pang of guilt engulfed me as the gentle-hearted girl was desperately trying to fight back incoming tears. I could tell from her breaking voice and the slight stuttering that came with it.
"I… I can't say… it wouldn't be fair… to onee-chan. She also… loves you too, Tomoya-kun." Well, hearing her admit to that confirmed another suspicion that I had about Kyou. I knew that she was on the verge of crying any moment now, so I did the decent thing that a friend would do. I slowly found myself wrapping my arms around her small body as I rested my head on her left shoulder, holding her close to me. My right cheek was pressed up against hers as I held her tenderly. It felt somewhat warm, so I would imagine that she was blushing madly right now. I noticed people were staring at us for a few moments while they continued walking. I didn't particularly care for them right now. The only thing that mattered to me right now was cheering Ryou up.
"Thank you, Tomoya-kun. Thank you… so much."
"I don't really deserve it, Ryou. You and I both know that."
"Please, don't be so hard on yourself." We separated from our hug as she slowly placed both of her hands onto my shoulders, her gaze meeting mine, her sapphire eyes so piercing and determined to convey her thoughts. Her face was beginning to turn red again. Her eyes were looking downward once more, unable to meet mine. I had a feeling Ryou was going to say something that would most definitely embarrass her, but even so, she still maintained her grip on my shoulders and her gaze on me resumed. "That's one thing that I… love about you, Tomoya-kun. You go so far just to help out a friend, even if it's at your own expense. I mean, you willingly let yourself be suspended from school just to save Sakagami-san. I don't think I would have the courage to do what you did. I know… that there's another girl who you care about deeply… and that I'll never be that girl that you choose in the end. Even so, the only thing that matters is your happiness, Tomoya-kun. And as your friend… I just don't want to see you depressed."
"What about your happiness, Ryou?" My question definitely threw her off completely as she stared at me with wide eyes, faint trances of tears in the corner of her eyes. From her response, I could tell that she was indirectly telling me that she was going to give up her romantic pursuits on me, and that the girl she was referring to... was most likely Nagisa. It was moments like these where I admired how selfless Ryou can be at times, even if it hurt her deep inside her heart. "It's okay… to be a little selfish… when you're in love with someone. Love tends to do that to people often. I know that you're a sweet and selfless person, but aren't you hurting yourself the most by giving up this easily?"
Ryou closed her eyes for a moment, probably to regain her thoughts and her composure. When she opened her eyes again, she continued on. "…I don't know if you've noticed it. I guess you have your suspicions, but I'll finally clarify it for you, just in case. Onee-chan has been trying to set the two of us up together… as a couple, despite the fact… that she too has feelings for you, Tomoya-kun."
"That would explain a lot of things."
"Was it that obvious?"
"Kyou isn't what you would describe as being subtle."
The two of us couldn't help but laugh at that little snide remark that I made. She would definitely kick my ass if she overheard the two of us right now. Luckily, Kyou was nowhere nearby. At least, I hope she wasn't...
"Onee-chan would seriously hurt you if she were close by."
"Wouldn't you protect a dear friend from your older sister?" I jokingly retorted back, smiling at the silliness the two of us were now indulging ourselves within. As our laughter slowly died down, we returned to our topic at hand. My voice became serious once more as I slowly began to understand the dilemma I had now found myself in.
"…Kyou… she's hurting too, isn't she?"
"…Yes, yes, she is. She may want us to be together, but I know that doing so will just hurt her even more. That's why… I can't confess my feelings to you. I don't want to jeopardize our friendship at all. I'm just so thankful that we could even be friends to begin with. And I don't want to put my relationship with my sister at any risk, either."
"I see. I'm sorry, Ryou."
"No need to apologize. And besides, you like Nagisa-chan, right? Isn't she the one who you want to be with?"
Ryou's question had me thinking for a moment there. Was I really in love in Nagisa? She had become a close friend of mine. Certainly, she had never left my mind the moment she fell sick. And yes, I'll admit, I felt a strange warmness inside myself every time that I was near her, but was that really love that I was feeling? I didn't get a chance to ponder for too long, as my ears heard Ryou giggling at something… or someone.
"Your face, Tomoya-kun. It's burning red." At least, Ryou was happy, laughing without a care in the world. Me on the other hand, this was quite embarrassing. I laughed along with her, stilted and awkward it might have been, but at least it was keeping things light between the two of us.
"I'll admit… I do… like Nagisa… but whether or not that extends to anything on a romantic level, I don't know for sure… yet."
"Ah… I see." Was that a sign of quiet resignation… or renewed hope?
"Sorry if I'm giving you any false hope."
"It's okay. Sometimes, hope is all that we have."
I found myself sighing in sheer exasperation at everything. "What have I gotten myself into here? I get the feeling that you and your sister aren't the only ones who likes me, am I right?"
"Well, common sense would dictate that Nagisa-chan harbors feelings for you as well, Tomoya-kun. You two are really close, after all. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if she started falling for you the moment you gave her the courage to start up the Drama Club again." Ryou was smiling as her head tilted slightly upwards, staring at the darkened sky, the sun setting below the horizon soon. "Onee-chan is quite jealous of Sakagami-san as well. She has been around you a whole lot more often these past several days, right?" I silently nod my head. "Despite the fact that Kotomi-chan herself hasn't made any strides towards you, I believe that onee-chan also sees her as competition as well."
"Wow, I guess nobody is safe from your sister, huh?"
"Well, onee-chan can be… aggressive, to say the least. She won't do anything to physically hurt her friends, but most likely, she'll try to push the two of us together even harder. I assume she believes that no one else will interfere if we officially become a couple."
Another sigh escapes from my mouth as I sat there on the bench, pondering about the unknown future that lies ahead in my life. "Damned if I do, damned if I don't." I openly complained aloud.
"I'm sorry, Tomoya-kun."
"You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. I should be thanking you instead."
"Huh? Why?" Her head canted slightly to the left as an air of curiosity filled her eyes. I couldn't but find the sight... unusually adorable for some reason.
"I think I would have gone mad at this point, wondering how things will turn out. At least, I have someone to talk to about all of this. I'm really glad you're here with me, Ryou." I smiled at the timid purple-haired girl. I honestly was being sincere with my words, and I would assume Ryou sensed it too, as her usual blush returned to her face.
"Um, thank you." Her gentle smile was warm. It reminded me of Nagisa's. The more I thought about it, the more it dawned on me that those two were a lot alike in many ways. That was probably one reason why they were such good friends in the first place.
"You seem to blush every time you're near me, eh?"
"It's a bad habit that I developed ever since I had a crush on you, Tomoya-kun. I'll get better… someday." Ryou was smiling so awkwardly right now. I could only imagine just how flustered she had been feeling ever since this whole conversation started. "I can't help it. I can't help but feel this way."
"Would confessing to me help a bit?"
"It might… but-"
"But nothing!" My abrupt comment definitely startled Ryou, as she was staring at me with wide eyes. I gently put both of my hands onto her shoulders again in an attempt to calm her down and dissuade any notions that I was angry with her. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes in the process, calming myself down as I mentally prepared myself for what I was about to say to her next. I slowly opened my eyes, staring into her blue eyes once more, smiling to reassure her that everything would be all right. "If you didn't have to worry about Kyou… or anybody else… if you didn't have to worry about being rejected… even for a brief instant, if you wanted to be happy, would you take that chance? Would you seize the opportunity?"
I didn't realize the full weight of my own words until the unthinkable occurred. The two of us just sat there in complete silence, just staring at each other in the eye. I didn't even notice that the gap between the two of us was closing in, that our faces were inching closer together. I couldn't tell if my face was moving towards Ryou's, if her face was moving towards mine, or whether or not both of us were moving towards each other. Regardless, right then and there, none of that mattered to me… as our lips touched one another. Our eyes, or at least, my eyes closed the moment our lips connected. It was embarrassing to admit this, but I had never kissed a girl before up until that point. I couldn't say for certain what it was supposed to feel like, but it felt warm and moist. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like it dragged on forever, not that that was a bad thing. I was just nervous, and the longer that kiss felt, the more it was twisting me up on the inside. But, as quickly as it came, that feeling dissipated. I slowly opened my eyes again and noticed Ryou doing the same. The silence between the two of us was starting to grow. I decided to break the ice.
"Do you… regret it… the fact that we kissed, I mean?" My words were mere whispers to the both of us as I didn't know how I was supposed to react to all of this. There were still only a few inches separating our faces from each other as I felt her light breath on my face. Despite the fact that I was facing Ryou, my eyes were wondering around, mostly looking towards my lower right, avoiding her piercing gaze. As the silence between us started to grow once more, my eyes couldn't help but instinctively wander back to meet Ryou's eyes. What surprised me was what I didn't see: her eyes, for she had them closed as if she were in deep thought. As I saw her eyelids slowly open again, her lips slowly drew upwards into a small smile.
"No… I have no regrets, Tomoya-kun." It was a simple and honest answer, straight to the point, no ambiguities to confuse anyone, no misconceptions to be misinterpreted. It was... the truth. Her truth.
"Are you sure about that?" My two hands left her shoulders as my entire body turned from her direction back forward towards the street once more. My left hand was now resting on my lap while my right hand was now grasping the edge of the wooden bench that we were sitting on. I was waiting for a response from within the silence that resumed between the two of us once more. Several moments later, I felt my right hand coming in contact with something soft and warm. It was Ryou's left hand or so I had thought. I turned my head downwards towards the right to verify it. It really was her hand gently holding onto mine. A part of me was a little surprised at how bold she was becoming these past several minutes, but another part of me was relieved. I guess she was starting to feel a whole lot more comfortable around me if she could do something as holding my hand. The act of holding hands may be something really simple on the surface. Heck, anybody with an arm could do it, but it was the emotional weight behind such a basic action that defined its deeper meaning. Two friends holding hands and two lovers holding hands are completely different in context and meaning. I didn't know where I would fit in if we were talking about Ryou and me, but right then and there, it didn't matter to me one bit. I was merely thankful for Ryou's company, for being able to vent my innermost thoughts to her.
Her face was red once more as her sapphire eyes peered at me, full of nervous confliction and yet, there was a glint of determined conviction as well. For the first time since we started talking here on this wooden bench, I couldn't read Ryou's expression at all. "Yes, I'm sure… Tomoya-kun."
I couldn't help but smile at the sight that I saw before me and at the simple reply she gave me. For once, I thought that perhaps there was a whole lot more to this shy girl, to Ryou Fujibayashi, than I had initially thought after all this time that I knew her. I returned her genuine kindness the only way I knew how: all five of my fingers on my right hand were slowly adjusting themselves as Ryou slightly loosened her grip on my hand. I was pretty sure she understood what I was trying to do the moment my fingers tried to lightly part hers as the tips slowly touched the top of her hand. Ryou reciprocated my action as the palms of ours hands were now touching each other and our fingers softly intertwined with one another, gently caressing each other, resting atop the wooden bench. The two of us just sat there in total silence, merely taking pleasure and comfort in being next to each other. We just stared at one another, our eyes looking deeply into the irises of the other person, awkward smiles and the occasional diverting gazes abound. My mind was gradually beginning to sink into romantic thoughts of grandeur. At the rate things were going at, I didn't know what would happen next. I had to say something, anything to Ryou just to get out of my thoughts and back into reality.
"Hey Ryou."
"Yes, Tomoya-kun?"
"Remember when you told me my fortune several weeks ago?" Ryou giggled at my question. I took it that she did remember, judging from her response.
"Yes, it's hard to believe time can fly by so quickly, huh?"
I remember how I had showed up for school, just like any other day of the week. Nothing new, nothing out of the ordinary. My same mundane life, destined to be repeated day in and day out until the day I graduated, that is, if I actually passed my courses, anyway. But looking back on that day, I never would have thought in a million years that my life would ever improve. Technically speaking, that was the last day of my ordinary life. Fate must've pitied me, for it sent a messenger in the form of the short-haired, timidly shy Ryou Fujibayashi to bring a glimmer of hope into my life. A glimmer of hope that would change my entire life forever…
"Ah, Okazaki-kun?"
"Huh? What's the matter? What is it?"
"Looks like you're a little late again today, aren't you?"
"So?" I drearily responded. At that point in my life, I just didn't care about school at all. Thinking back on that moment, that was probably a selfish thing to say to her. She was the class representative. It was her duty to make sure that everyone in class was behaving, and that includes everyone showing up to class on time as well. Her job was most likely hellacious thanks to Sunohara and me.
"Well, I just think you should come to school on time every day, that's all."
"Oh? You're starting to sound like the class leader or something, you know that?" I knew that she was the class representative, but my joking side couldn't help but tease her at that point in our conversation.
"But, it's not 'any' or 'something.' I really am the class leader!"
One of the other guys in the classroom was either eavesdropping or overheard the conversation that Ryou and I were having because he felt the need to interject.
"Hey, Okazaki. Don't make her cry! You'll have her big sister rushing in."
"Oh, don't worry! I'm not crying at all." Considering how broken her voice was becoming at that point, I'm pretty sure she was going to cry at any moment.
"Okay, I got it. Let's just see how I do tomorrow." I turned my head back towards the open window, staring out into the sky. I couldn't make any promises, but I wanted to alleviate her concerns. The last thing I wanted was to make the class representative upset, lest I incur Kyou's wrath. She must've been taken aback by my hopeful comment because she was struggling to find a suitable response.
"Well, then, uh...I'll read your fortune for tomorrow. Fortune-telling is my hobby, you see." She took out a deck of cards from her skirt pocket as I turned my head towards her, giving her an incredulous stare. She didn't need to do it, but declining her offer would've been worse. She proceeded to shuffle the deck of cards.
"Oh!" I heard a quiet gasp escape from her mouth. All the cards in her two hands fell out of her grasp, drifting onto the floor. Butterfingers, I suppose. But then again, I'm not exactly any better, either. I wasn't exactly a cardshark.
"Oh, boy..." I did what any decent person would do as I pushed back in my seat a little and proceeded to help Ryou pick up her cards. But before I could even touch one card, she proceeded to read me my fortune right then and there.
"It says you're going to be late tomorrow." I remember being incredibly shocked by her statement to the point where I actually fell back on my chair, hitting the floor forcibly. At the time, I thought she was just screwing with me.
"Ah! You trying to make me mad?"Considering how meek she was, that was probably the last thing she had wanted to do.
"It's just what the cards say! I think this is your future."
"You think that's my future?"
"On your way to school, you'll have a romantic meeting with a sweet girl. You'll forget all about the time, and that's why you're going to be late."
"Seems to be awfully specific, isn't it?"
"You can call it a maiden's inspiration!"
I didn't realize it on the day she read me that fortune, but I never thought that Ryou of all people would actually prophesized me meeting the one girl who would become the ultimate catalyst of my entire life. It was just fortune telling after all. I didn't think it was meant to be taken seriously at all. But, either by sheer coincidence or fate, I met the one girl who just stumbled onto my life who would change everything for me…slowly but surely.
…Nagisa Furukawa.
"Yeah, it sure does. Did I ever tell you that your fortune turned out to be true after all?"
"It really did?" Ryou looked genuinely surprised by my question. I nodded my head in return. Ryou giggled as if she came to a realization. "It was Nagisa-chan who turned out to be the sweet girl that you had a romantic meeting with, huh?"
I grinned sheepishly at her question, scratching the side of my head with my right hand. "I wouldn't say it was all that romantic… but yeah, I did meet Nagisa the day after you read me that fortune. Pretty crazy, eh?"
"I wouldn't think so. Regardless of whether or not it was accidental or fated, you two have become really close friends. And I'm really thankful that I've become Nagisa-chan's friend as well. It's rather obvious that she has had a very positive influence on your life, Tomoya-kun. And you've had a positive influence on her life too. You've given her the motivation and strength to try to bring the Drama Club back again."
"Well, when you put it like that…"
"You're so modest, Tomoya-kun. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself all the time."
I smiled cheerfully at her attempt to try to cheer me up. "Thanks, Ryou."
"Hehehe, anything for a friend, right?"
"You really consider me a friend?" My question no doubt invoked confusion within Ryou, as her face was now wearing a look of confusion and slight depression.
"You don't feel the same way?" I probably should've chosen my words a little better. Hoping to erase the misconception that I caused, I elaborated on my previous inquiry.
"Well… before today, the two of us barely talked to one another. We might have a small conversation every now and then, but those pale in comparison to this one conversation that we're having at the moment, right?" She slowly nodded her head in understanding, listening intently to my words. "Usually, when your sister is around, I'm usually talking to her instead. Considering how brash Kyou can be, she tends to be the one dominating the conversations. You... tend to fade into the background, for lack of a better phrase." I wasn't sure if my words were making the situation better or worse, but before I could contemplate any further, I noticed Ryou's lips slowly curving upwards into a small smile. It wasn't one of genuine happiness, but more of ironic realization.
"I guess… onee-chan was right."
"Huh? What did she say?"
"She said... that if I keep hesitating, then I would end up losing to Sakagami-san."
"Oh, I see." Things were looking to be a whole lot more complicated from here on out. Have I really been this dense, or have I simply chosen to ignore it, hoping that it would resolve itself somehow? I had the feeling that things are going to get worse before they will ever get any better. The loud hiss and roar of the bus nearby broke my train of thought as the bus pulled in in front of us, coming to a screeching halt.
"Well, looks like my ride is here, Tomoya-kun."
"I guess I'll be tagging along with you, then."
"W-w-wait, w-what...why?" She was stammering her words out to me, a furious blush gracing her two cheeks.
"Kyou did tell me to make sure you got home safe, remember?"
Ryou's eyes widened in realization at my frank words. Judging from her reaction, I assumed that she just now remembered how Kyou just abruptly left the two of us alone. There were probably other things on Ryou's mind at the moment that most likely made her forget her sister's own words for a brief moment. With her cheeks still red as ever, she smiled, almost to a grin, her eyes now facing the pavement once more, most likely out of embarrassment.
"Shall we go?" Ryou simply nodded her head as the two of us slowly made our way inside the bus. Climbing the small steps, paying for my fare, and walking down the aisle of the bus, the two of us settled on a seat somewhere in the middle right. I offered her the window seat as a courtesy. She smiled at me as her body settled into the seat next to the window. I settled in the leather seat, scooting a little bit closer to her. The close proximity that the two of us now found ourselves in obviously made her uncomfortably nervous, as her eyes remained fixed towards the window. I sat there in my seat, quietly staring at Ryou's face, her face faintly reflecting off of the window adjacent to our seat. I couldn't help but feel that I was at fault here. My question from earlier probably wasn't in good taste, thinking back on it. My right hand slowly found its way towards Ryou's left shoulder, as my palm gently rested upon it. Ryou's head turned to face me the moment she felt my touch.
"I'm sorry... for what I said earlier. I really do consider you a friend." My voice was barely above a whisper, something that was not the norm for me. But that didn't matter. I wanted to be sincere with my words. I wanted to be honest and make sure that Ryou's feelings weren't hurt again because I was too oblivious to concepts such as tact and restraint. I usually speak from the heart, and that could be a boon for me sometimes if I'm not careful with the words that I say. In this case, I was hoping for the opposite, that my words could make her feel a little better. Now that she was facing me, I could get a good look at her face. What surprised me the most was what didn't happened: her sapphire eyes never left mine. The two of us were just staring at each other, lost within the irises of the person in front of us. Ryou's eyes lacked the piercing intensity that Kyou had, but I didn't mind that at all. The conversation we had back on the bench earlier proved that her eyes can have a piercing quality to them, one that can see through the surface. There really was no denying that she was Kyou Fujibayashi's twin sister. Despite the fact that the two couldn't be any more different, it was a given that the younger sister would have some of the qualities that defined the older sister. But even so, Ryou's eyes were...different right then and there. Even when her eyes gazes into mine to read my emotions, there was something...mellow that I can see. It was unlike Kyou's, as hers were sometimes harsh, other times playful, but then there were moments where her eyes displayed traces of sadness. Those were the eyes that I now saw before me within the younger sister. As I looked into them, I saw...something calming yet forlorn, the same kind of look that someone might have if they were just silently staring off into the horizon, lost in deep contemplative thought. It's as if...she wanted something more... something that was... far beyond her grasp. I didn't know what that something was exactly, but I have my theories. They say that a person's eyes are the windows into a person's soul. I think I was starting to believe that now...
Ryou... simply smiled at me, her response a mere whisper. "It's okay. Don't worry about it... I'm glad you feel the same way, too. You're my friend, Tomoya-kun."
I couldn't help but feel emotionally touched by her words. I returned her smile with one of my own. In that brief moment, I felt at ease with myself. I knew that feeling wasn't going to last forever, but at least I could take comfort in such a wonderful but fleeting emotion. I don't know what the future has in store for me. I have no idea what direction my life, my story, will eventually take. I don't know how things will change. The fear of change... is something that frightens me dearly. It unnerves me to no end, as I witness the people that I'm around and the places that I'm familiar with slowly change with the passage of time. I know that change is an inevitability, that there's nothing I can do to stop that, but it still haunts me with the same ferocity that it always has. I wished things could just stay the same as they are between our group of friends. I wish these idyllic days could last forever, but I know...that with each passing day... these peacefully blissful days of high school will eventually come to an end. I knew that I would be graduating soon and head off into the real world. But right here...right now... at the very least, I could find a quantum of solace within my own friends. Even if things do change among all of us, among Ryou, Kyou, Nagisa, Kotomi, Tomoyo, and Sunohara, I'm glad that I have at least one friend... who will endure hell with me. Even if the future yields a bleak fate for all of us, at least the memories that we shared will live on inside all of us, the good, the bad, and everything else in-between, even if those memories eventually fade into...
...a half-remembered dream.
Author's Note #5: The Fujibayashi twins checking up on Tomoya (4:15 - 4:44), the events at the game arcade (4:45 - 6:27) and a very brief part of the conversation that Ryou and Tomoya had (6:28 - 7:23) were in the anime. Everything else, before, in-between, and after, that didn't happen in the anime series was my own creation.
Well, that's the end of chapter 3. If you actually made it to the end of the chapter, then I salute you for being able to put up with my story. If it's not asking too much, any kind of feedback, be it pointing out spelling/grammar mistakes, suggestions, or just your thoughts and feelings on this chapter, anything would be great. All I ask is that you remain civil and keep things constructive. That's all. ^_^'
If you're curious as to when I'll have the next chapter up, I can't give you any specific dates, but I can tell you to check my profile every single day to see how much progress I've made on the next chapter. You'll find a percentage number there indicating how much of the next chapter I have completed. The next chapter will go up the moment that number hits 100%.
And don't worry, I'm never going to drop this story, so long as there is continued interest from readers for my fanfic. For personal reasons, I want to see this story through to the very end, even if it takes a long time to get there. The only way that I'm gonna stop writing this story is if real life prevents me from doing so. So far, it hasn't, yet. XD And here's hoping it stays that way for a very long time...
Footnotes:
[1] – Tomoya met Kyou a year before the first episode of season 1 takes place, as shown in episode 23 of Clannad ~After Story~, The Event from One Year Before (一年前の出来事Ichinen Mae no Dekigoto).
[2] – Tomoya met Ryou sometime after he did with Kyou, as detailed in Throbbing Moment (ときめく瞬間 Tokimeku shunkan), a short story from Official Another Story Clannad: On the Hill that Light Watches Over (Official Another Story Clannad 光見守る坂道で).
[3] – 6:57-9:26 of episode 12 of season 1, where the group was at the arcade trying to get Kotomi a gift.