5/6/2012 (Last edited on 10/05/2014) - Hello, people of FanFiction dot net. The next chapter is finally here. There are now 9 reviews as of this chapter! ^_^ Thanks to everyone who has left a review. As the author of this story, I'm happy to see reviews being left behind. It motivates me to continue on with this story of mine. ^_^ Even though some of the character's personalities might/will be slightly altered for the sake of my fanfic, I'll try to remain faithful to their overall "spirit" that was portrayed in the anime series. Clannad is my favorite anime series of all time, so I felt compelled to write a story of my own. I hope you enjoy it. And once again, any feedback that you can provide would be nice and very appreciated. ^_^ And with that, here is chapter 4:
Paragraphs in italics denote a flashback. Single words in italics / single words in regular print during a flashback denote emphasis and should be read as such.
Chapter rated T for: Mild language and mild suggestive themes.
Genre: Comedy/Drama/Romance/Slice of Life
Pairing(s): None at the moment (Tomoya x Tomoyo/Kyou/Nagisa/Fuko/Kotomi/Ryou has been teased, though...)
Crossover(s): None at the moment...(Two characters from two different series will be making early-bird cameos somewhere in this chapter. Whether or not I'll be able to weave them into my story later on is a different story entirely...)
Author's Note #1: The entirety of this chapter takes place between 6:56 and 7:23 minutes of episode 18 of the first season and is entirely made up of events from my own imagination.
Author's Note #2: Tomoya x ?, Sunohara x ?; 'still debating, as always. 'might take into consideration feedback from whoever might read this story of mine. It's no guarantee, but it's still fun to see what readers want to see. I've now included a poll on my profile page. You can go vote for your choice there. ;) As of this chapter, 2 votes for Harem, 2 votes for Tomoyo Sakagami. Interesting...
Author's Note #3: The beginning of this chapter is told from Tomoya's point of view. Nagisa, and her parents Sanae and Akio, will finally be making their official debut into my fanfic as of this chapter, and the perspective will temporarily switch to her. Then, it'll switch back to Tomoya. The chapter will end on Nagisa's perspective.
Author's Note #4: I'll be adding footnotes from here on out. If I'm making a reference to an anime series, movie, or video game, or I'm using a word(s) that I feel needs an explanation, there'll be a bracket with a number inside it. The footnotes will be at the very end of the chapter.
Author's Note #5: Chapter 4 is slightly shorter than Chapter 3, but not by a whole lot. Hope you don't mind the length.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Clannad-related, even though I wished I did...And from here on out, I do not own any series/movies/video games that I might make references to or decide to make any crossovers with as well.
Clannad ~Different Days~
-The Everyday Arc-
Vague Synopsis - It's not quite the same story that you might remember, even if it feels strangely familiar. A different world, different relationships, different events...different days...
Chapter 4 – Seven Forty-Seven
The bus was eerily quiet. The usual humming of the bus engines became complacent enough for my ears to the point where background noise blended into silence. I looked around and noticed that besides the bus driver, there was only one other passenger on board with Ryou and me. The passenger was an old man, who apparently was fast asleep, a soft snore echoing through the silence of the bus. He was sitting about three seats behind us on the left side of the bus. I turned my head over my left shoulder to get a better view of him. Judging from all the wrinkles on his face, it was safe to assume that he was pretty old. He was wearing a blue suit with a red tie. Was he some sort of businessman, I wondered? You would think a guy that old would be in retirement or something. I couldn't help but smile at that amusing thought.
I turned my attention from the old gentleman back to Ryou. She was gazing out the window, her face avoiding my gaze. I figured that she was too shy to be looking anywhere in my direction, but at the same time… I had this feeling that there was something else that was occupying her thoughts right now. What she was thinking about right now, I couldn't begin to guess, and I didn't want to interrupt her, so I just remained quiet, suppressing the urge to ask. The silence of the bus allowed me time to think about what had transpired earlier. Ryou and I were sitting on the bench waiting for her bus to arrive. For the first time in what felt like forever, we actually had a genuine conversation with each other. The two of us... accidentally kissed each other. We didn't mean for it to happen. It just... kinda happened, but neither of us regretted the intimate action at all. We talked for a bit more before entering the bus, and here we were, on the right half of the bus. Ryou had the window seat, while I was sitting next to her occupying the aisle seat. She was still staring out the window, looking at the passing buildings and trees. Moments in silence passed before I realized that there was something else that I wanted to talk to Ryou about, so I figured now would be a good time as any to ask her. I had almost forgot about it for a moment, but given the dilemma that I now found myself in with all of the other girls, my mind was able to recall the question that I was hoping to inquire her with.
"Hey Ryou, can I ask you something?"
"Huh, what is it, Tomoya-kun?"
"Um..." I was a little hesitant about what was I about to ask of her, so I had to choose my words carefully. "Are you busy tomorrow afternoon?"
"No, I'm not too busy tomorrow. Was there something you needed from me?"
"I was just wondering... do you want to hang out? Just the two of us?"
"R-r-really? Do you mean it?" Her eyes lit up at my inquiry. I guess Ryou thought it was a good idea, too.
"D-don't get me wrong. It's not a date or anything like... or maybe you can look at it as a date between two friends." I immediately broke off eye contact with her, flustered at the thought of going out on a date with any girl, much less Ryou Fujibayashi. My face was burning at the embarrassing idea. But at the same time, I knew that a date was something that she had always wanted to do with me. If I could make her a little happier, then I guess it wouldn't be so bad.
"Anyway, I figured... we haven't really hung out together, at least, not just by ourselves. I thought we could get to know each other a little better. You know, to make up for lost time?" I had half-expected Ryou to start tearing up at my suggestion that I would, at the very least, indulge in her fantasy of going out with her, but to my genuine yet dull surprise, she was rather… reserved in her reaction.
"S-sure, that's sounds wonderful, Tomoya-kun. One question though... what am I supposed to tell onee-chan?"
"That's... a good question." That was a good question…
"I don't want to lie to onee-chan. I would feel guilty about it."
"Hmm, maybe you shouldn't tell her the whole truth then."
"But isn't that basically the same thing, Tomoya-kun? A glass half-full... or a glass half-empty, that's the proper analogy, right?"
"Yeah, it is. Hmm, do you have any ideas?"
"I have one at the moment. You may not like it, though."
"I don't mind hearing you out, Ryou."
"I think... it would be better I just told onee-chan the truth... that I would just spend the afternoon with you tomorrow. I know that she will definitely take it the wrong way, that the two of us were really going on... a date. Even if I did try to lie to her, I'm pretty sure she can see right through me."
"I guess we have no other choice, then." I really didn't want Kyou to know the truth, but given the circumstances, my options were rather limited. If I had just wanted to make small talk with her younger sister, she would insist that she would have a right to listen in to it as well, seeing as she and I were friends and she and Ryou were sisters.
"I'm sorry, Tomoya-kun."
"Don't sweat it. Hmm, should we rehearse what you should tell Kyou when you break the news to her?"
"I'll just tell onee-chan the truth. I... I think I'll be able to manage. She'll probably tease me... but I think I'll be fine. If onee-chan... starts teasing me a little too much, you'll help, right, Tomoya-kun?"
"Yeah, definitely." I gave a thumbs up and a smile to reassure her that I had her back when she needed me. She reciprocated with a smile of her own. The bus stopped at the corner of the street. The two of us made were walking down the aisle to get off the bus. Before heading off the tiny steps to exit, I inquired the bus driver about the sleeping old man who was still lying asleep in his sleep.
"He'll be fine. He gave me specific instructions on when to wake him up. But thanks for your concern. It's good to see the youth care about their elders."
"Eh, it's nothing."
"I'll tell him about you whenever he wakes up. Maybe he'll reward you the next time you see him."
I couldn't help but laugh at the bus driver's comment. A reward...maybe he was a rich businessman after all. I highly doubt it, but it was an interesting thought nonetheless. "I was just concerned...and a little curious. I didn't ask for any reward."
"I'll let him know that." I slowly made my way off the bus, with Ryou following shortly behind. Realizing that I had no idea where her house was, I decided to let her take the lead while I followed behind her. We walked in silence, taking in the cool night air. Eventually, we came upon a huge two-story building. It wasn't quite the size of a mansion, but it was pretty big in its own right nonetheless.
"Wow, I never knew the two of you lived in such a huge house."
"Mhmm. I've been living here since the day onee-chan and I were born."
"You're not rich, are you?" I teasingly joked.
"No, I would say that we're about average." A slight embarrassed Ryou couldn't help but smile. Ryou slowly walked up the cement pavement towards the front door and rang the doorbell. Out came the older sister moments later.
"Ah, you're finally back, Ryou. And I see... wait, why's Tomoya here again?" I sincerely hoped that she was joking... right?
"I listened to your orders, and this is the thanks I get?"
"Hehehehe, whoops, guess I forgot for a moment." A nervous laughter escaped from Kyou's mouth, her right hand scratching the side of her head. I feigned a cough, letting Ryou know what I wanted her to ask Kyou. She understood me immediately, as she braced herself for the question she was about to ask her older sister.
"Um, onee-chan. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Uh..." She was struggling to find the right words to ask. I could tell that she was trying her best. Figuring that I could help, my left hand slowly found its way towards her right shoulder, a light pat alerting her of my presence. She turned her head towards me as I gave her a light smile, assuring her that everything would be fine. She reciprocated with a smile of her own. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Kyou was slightly confused as to what she was seeing before her eyes, a face that clearly told me that she was becoming curious about Ryou's inevitable question.
Ryou took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she did, but letting the air out of her lungs, her eyes slowly opening to look Kyou dead in the eye.
"Is it okay... if I spend tomorrow afternoon... with Tomoya-kun... just the two of us?"
The look on Kyou's face right at this moment... was something that I don't think I've ever seen her make. There was confusion and utter shock written all over her face… and, if I didn't know any better, I thought I saw, for a brief instant… pain.
"Wait, you mean..." Kyou's confused smirk soon morphed into a mischievous grin. "...like a date?"
Upon hearing that, the two of us were blushing and immediately protested her dubious claims. "No!" We both turned to look at one another, faces flushed and shocked at how we both had yelled simultaneously. Ryou turned away from Kyou and me, embarrassed into shameful silence, while I had to clarify things. "We're just hanging out, as friends."
"Yes, onee-chan, we're just hanging out... just as friends."
The look on Kyou's face said that she wasn't buying it. Not. One. Bit.
"...and you expect me to believe that?"
"Why wouldn't you?"
"You two never hang out together! Especially by yourselves, either! I'm supposed to believe that there isn't something going on between the two of you?"
"Look, I just want to talk with Ry... Fujibayashi about some personal matters."
Kyou kept glaring at me, obviously noticing the slight blunder that I had just made. "You were about to call her Ryou, weren't you? You've never called my sister by her first name!" Her eyes kept darting back and forth between Ryou and me. "Something definitely happened when I left, am I right?"
Ryou turned to her sister at her question and then slowly towards me, as I stared at her with worried eyes. She seemed to have understood what I wanted her to do, as she hastily changed the subject from us to Kyou herself. "By the way onee-chan, where did you go earlier?"
"Oh, I just did a little grocery shopping. Mom and dad did mention that we were running a bit low on some food." Huh, wasn't that convenient, I mused to myself. "Of course, I volunteered so that you wouldn't have to worry about it." She planned this from the very beginning... that didn't surprise me one bit. The smile that Kyou was putting forth right now certainly wasn't convincing me.
"Oh, you still haven't answered my question, have you?" I was hoping she would forget about it or let the whole matter drop entirely. I guess our pitiful attempts to change the subject didn't exactly worked out as is wasted on the hopeless, as the saying goes.
"We just... talked for a bit, right, Fujibayashi?"
"Yes, To-... Okazaki-kun and I just had a small conversation, that's all." Kyou definitely noticed the blunder that her younger sister made, but she chose to remain quiet, probably out of courtesy. But then again, I spoke too soon, as Kyou was grinning at us both now.
"And that wasn't enough talk for the two of you?"
Ryou was blushing at her older sister's accusatory question. I gave the logical explanation that would have made sense to clarify the matter. "Her bus arrived. It got cut short, unfortunately. I was hoping to continue it tomorrow."
"Why not call her? Or text her? Or chat online, huh? You don't need to talk to Ryou in person, do you?"
"Some things are just better said in person, you know?"
"Eh, I guess you have a point there." She stood there in silence, pondering about her next response. "Well, our mom and dad shouldn't have a problem with this. Me, on the other hand..." I didn't like the sound of this... "I'll allow Ryou to go... on one condition."
"Which is?..."
"You have to officially call it a date." If Ryou wasn't blushing furiously before, she definitely was now. I don't think her blush from earlier ever faded away to begin with, so it most likely intensified from her older sister's proposition.
"Is that okay with you?" Turning to eye the younger Fujibayashi, my question came out as a whisper to Ryou once more. She turned towards me and smiled.
"Yes, if you don't mind... Tomoya-kun." I guess at this point, Ryou didn't even care to hide the fact that she was addressing me by my first name now. Well, if the shy and meek Ryou Fujibayashi could muster that much courage up to be able to do that, I should be able to do the same as well. "But what about you? Are you okay with this?"
"I don't really mind. I don't really think I'll be too busy with anything else tomorrow anyway."
"I see."
I turned my attention back to Kyou again, looking at her with stoic eyes. "Well, guess I'm going on a date... with Ryou then."
"That settles that, then. Me and Ryou will be heading inside now. 'night, Tomoya." Abruptly dragging her younger sister by her right arm, Kyou was slowly pulling Ryou inside of her house.
"'night, Kyou."
"Oh yeah, one more thing..." Stopping midstep before suddenly turning around towards me, Kyou had a stern, piercing looking on her face.
"Yeah?"
"If you try anything perverted on my little sister, I'll personally kill you... with my bare hands."
"I find your lack of faith disturbing." [1] I simply gave her a dry look, total disbelief settling into me as I couldn't fathom that Kyou honestly thought I would try something like that. She was probably kidding, but still...
"Tomoya-kun would never do such a thing, onee-chan!" I couldn't help but stare at Ryou wide-eyed at her sudden outburst. There was a pleading desperation to her voice that made me feel really sad. It was most likely a joke on Kyou's end, but Ryou probably took it personally, far more than I did, anyway.
"Fine, fine, I won't do anything of that sort of nature."
"Good." There was a smug grin on her face now. "Ryou, I'll meet you inside, okay?" The younger sister merely nodded at her question.
"I'm sorry about what onee-chan said to you earlier."
"It's okay, don't worry about it. Your sister has a pretty... morbid sense of humor, sometimes." I took a step forward and gently wrapped both of my arms around Ryou's body. I heard a small but audible gasp escape from her mouth. She was definitely surprised by this... rather bold move of mine.
"Tomoya-kun?"
"Thanks... for believing in a guy like me."
"Somebody has to stand up for you if you won't, right?"
"Yeah, you have a point there." I could feel Ryou's arms slowly wrapping themselves around my waist as our bodies pressed together gently.
"I... I know... that you would never do anything like that. You're a good person, Tomoya-kun."
"I'm surprised that you have so much faith in me."
"We're... friends, remember?"
"Yeah... friends." Much to my surprise, I noticed that the front door to the Fujibayashi house was slightly ajar, with amethyst eyes peering out at the two of us. "Kyou!" At the mention of her older sister, Ryou turned her head around towards the door, quietly shrieking at the sight of her older sister. Her grasp on my body only tightened harder as she quickly turned her head back towards me, her right cheek now pressed up against my chest.
"My, my, aren't you two getting quite intimate there, huh?" This entire scene had been one big joke to her, hasn't it? And I didn't like the way how she emphasized the word intimate. It wasn't like Ryou and I were lovers. "I thought Ryou would come in soon after I did. Didn't expect to see you two... hugging each other like that."
"What, two friends can't hug each other now?"
"Friend... you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means, Tomoya." [2]
"I guess we'll continue this tomorrow then, Ryou." I softly whispered into her ears.
"It's okay. I'm looking forward to it." The two of us detached ourselves from our embrace as Ryou slowly walked towards the front door.
"Good night... Tomoya-kun."
"Yeah, good night to you, too." I waved goodbye to Ryou as she did the same for me. And with that, I began my silent trek towards the Furukawa Bakery. There were several things that I wanted to talk with Ryou about, but I wanted to wait until I had an opportunity where I wasn't under the constraints of time. Hopefully, if everything goes the way I hope it does tomorrow, I'll finally get my chance.
The night was silent, nothing and no one out on the streets. I could only hear the sound of my own footsteps, a faint pattering coming from my shoes. The streets were only kept lit by the street lamps, each separated by minutes of walking. They were my only source of light for me through the darkness. Considering how deathly silent everything was, I had this thought of something popping out from nowhere to scare me. Suddenly, I heard some rustling somewhere in the trees as my eyes tried to scan my surroundings, trying to locate the source. My heart was steadily pounding, wondering who or what it could be. Much to my surprise, there was this mysterious white... cat? I think it was a cat... it was some kind of feline creature. It definitely wasn't a normal cat, if that huge bushy tail is any indication. It was just sitting on top of a tree branch that I walking past. The moment I laid eyes on its hauntingly unsettling crimson eyes, my entire body just froze for a moment. There was definitely something... not right about this creature. I could sense... an otherworldly presence about it. This mysterious white animal had two distinct ears as well as two tendrils protruding from them as well. There were two golden rings along the tips of its tendrils that were somehow floating, like a magnet. The two of us just kept staring at each other, a staring contest unknowingly ensuing. After what felt like several minutes having gone by, my eyes were beginning to squint at the little creature. Without realizing it, my eyes instantaneously blinked. I never thought that I would find myself staring at an animal for this long. The creature just kept staring back at me, unflinching and unmoving. It was starting to really freak me out as this continued on. My eyes were starting to dry up from the lack of blinking on my end, slowly squinting at the sight of this creature before me. Several seconds later, the mysterious white feline blinked once at me. I was taken aback, having to blink my eyes several times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. The creature turned its head away from me and rose up on all four of its legs. It jumped off of the tree, scurrying off into the darkness of the night. I couldn't help but think… that was a bizarre encounter, to say the least. [3]
Be careful what you wish for, eh?
With the sun long gone, the outside air was cooler than before. A quiet breeze blew through the leaves of the oak trees that were off to side of the road I was walking on. I slowly made my way down the sloping and curving street, a familiar intersection now coming into my line of sight. I was getting closer and closer to Nagisa's home. Nagisa Furukawa... despite being a senior like me, Sunohara, Kyou, Ryou, and Kotomi, she was 19 years old, a year older than the rest of us. Due to her frail health, she was absent to the point where she missed most of her school days. As a result, she was forced to repeat her third year again and whatever few friends she was able to make had graduated by now. She was all alone by the time this semester had started, until I found myself drawn towards her. I still remember the depressingly pitiful sight of her eating anpan all by herself in the courtyard. I didn't think that anyone else in our school could be that lonely. My mind couldn't help but worry about her... for some strange reason. The two of us talked for a bit, and that was how I knew about her situation about being a repeater.
And just like this very night, I stopped by her home one night, partly out of sheer boredom and partly... to avoid going home to my father. I still remember the moment I laid eyes on Nagisa's mother, Sanae Furukawa for the very first time. Of course, I didn't think she was her mother, given her youthful appearance. I had wrongly assumed that Sanae was her older sister. It didn't help that she only looked a few years older than Nagisa herself. She offered me some of her bread, which at the time, I didn't know how... bad they tasted. I offered her the blunt truth, which she didn't take so well. She left the bakery in tears as I stared in disbelief. Before I knew it, her husband and Nagisa's father, Akio Furukawa came out of nowhere, yelling, scolding me for insulting his wife's bread. If I had to describe him, I would say that he was an abrasively loud and overly dramatic person. It wasn't until he noticed the Hikarizaki school emblem on the arm of my blazer that he realized that I was possibly someone that Nagisa knew from school.
The four of us shared a small dinner that one night, as I slowly came to realize just how... bizarre the Furukawa family really is. And yet, I couldn't help but feel a little envious of them. I never knew... that such a close-knit family could still exist in today's world.
I couldn't help but smile at that thought. Those three were a tight-knit family, each loving the other earnestly. My mind continued to ponder, my legs subconsciously driving me towards my destination. Before I even knew it, the sight of the Furukawa Bakery, of the place where Nagisa lived, was becoming more and more visible as I came approaching from the east. The bakery was a small, two-story building. Besides serving bread to customers, it also served as the home of the Furukawa family, which was located behind and on top of the bakery itself. The building itself is located near a park, where Akio tends to play baseball with the neighborhood kids. Needless to say, the bakery is a quaint place.
I was merely a few steps away from the front door to the bakery, but I decided to stop. I felt a little nervous coming all the way out here... just to see Nagisa. But it would be cowardly of me to turn back now after coming this far. I took a quick glance at the digital watch on my left wrist.
Nineteen forty-seven. Seven forty-seven in the evening.
...My right hand reached for the edge of the door and slid it open to the right.
My eyes snapped open immediately. I woke up, startled and slightly sweating. I slowly wiped some of the sweat on my forehead away using my pajama sleeves. Realizing that I was alone in my room, lying on my futon, still recovering from this fever of mine, I gazed at the ceiling, wondering what all of my friends were doing right now. But there was one person that I couldn't stop thinking about right now. Tomoya Okazaki… I wonder… what was he doing right now? I haven't told anyone, not my parents, not my friends, not even Tomoya himself, just how much I've grown to care about him. My life has never been the same the moment I first laid eyes on him back at the bottom of the hill. I consider Tomoya to be my best friend, one who I deeply cherished from the bottom of my heart. But, I don't know… if these feelings that I have for him could be described as love… I can't say that I have ever been in love with anyone at all, at least... on a romantic level. The love that you share with your family doesn't count, since that's different, I know. I-If I really am in love with Tomoya, what kind of love was it exactly? Was it the love that one has for a friend… or was it the love that one has… for a lover? I was just happy simply being near him. His presence was all I needed in order to smile freely. It wasn't that I couldn't smile freely when I was around my friends and family, but Tomoya was different somehow. I couldn't really explain it, but there was this certain warmness that I felt only when I'm around him. I wonder where he was right now. He was probably at home or maybe at Sunohara's apartment. I couldn't help but wonder about the possibilities.
I lay back down on my futon once more, reveling in the silence that was now in my room. I wonder what mom and dad were doing right now. Things were a little too quiet. I decided to close my eyes, so that my ears could focus a little better. Everything was now dark. I thought I heard the front door open, but maybe I was imagining things. I turned my head towards the clock hanging on the wall near the window.
It was seven forty-seven.
There couldn't possibly be any customers coming in at this time. Most of the people who came to our bakery to buy bread usually do it in the morning or afternoon. We rarely get customers in the evening. I couldn't help but wonder who might be at our bakery at this time. I stood up and quietly made my way to the door and slowly slid open the door, just enough so that my ears could hear what was going on downstairs.
"Hello, anybody here?" No, it couldn't be... was it really…?
"Oh my, it's Tomoya-san. What brings you over here to our house at this time of the night?" The moment I heard my mom call his name out, my cheeks were burning. W-why would Tomoya-kun come see me tonight?
"Uh, I came to see Nagisa… see how she's doing. Is her fever improving?"
"We'll go check on her for you. Stay here, okay?"
"Yeah, got it."
As soon as the conversation between Tomoya and my parents abruptly ended, I closed the door shut and I hurriedly made my way back to my futon. I still couldn't believe Tomoya... came all this way... just to see me, but I was grateful, so grateful. I closed my eyes once more as I smiled for Tomoya's kindness.
"Oh, you're awake, Nagisa." I heard my mom's voice calling out to me. My eyes snapped open as I gazed up at her. She smiled at me as I returned an embarrassed smile of my own, not realizing that by waking up to begin with, my mom knew that I wasn't sleeping anymore. She had a way of knowing things like that. It must've been motherly instinct. My dad shortly appeared right next to her, grinning hugely at seeing me awake.
"Yes, I just woke up several moments ago. If you don't mind me asking, are you two just checking up on me? I thought I heard our front door opening."
"Well, you heard right, Nagisa. A little somebody has dropped by to say hello. Hey kid, get your ass up here, why don't you?"
"Okay, okay, I'm coming." I could hear Tomoya's voice coming from down the stairways. His footsteps were becoming more audible to my ears. I could feel my own heartbeat slowly quickening. Was Tomoya... really here in my house? I heard his voice, but I needed to see him in person to make sure that my ears weren't deceiving me. My question was immediately answered upon seeing him standing in the doorway next to mom and dad. I felt a huge sense of relief wash over my entire body.
"Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone…" My dad suddenly paused for a short moment before starting back up again. "Wait, what the hell am I saying?! Gah!" Upon hearing dad making that comment, a small blush formed on my face as my eyes diverted from their gaze at towards my futon, my hands clutching onto the sheets.
"Akio-san, let the two of them talk for a bit, okay?"
"Fine. Scream if you need anything, Nagisa." I merely nodded my head meekly without looking back up at the three of them.
"I don't think it's going to come to that." There was a nonchalant air to Tomoya's voice as he gave his answer.
"It better not." Despite the fact that Tomoya and my dad tend to bicker quite often, I think those two are a lot alike in many ways. My parents gently slid the door shut behind them, leaving Tomoya and me... alone...
"Good evening, Okazaki-san. What brings you over here right now? Was there... something you needed?" There was no way that Tomoya came all this way to see me, right? That was what I found myself asking as a part of me was still in complete disbelief that Tomoya was really here, in my house... in my room. Common sense would tell me that the only reason he would be over here right now was to see me, but my heart couldn't believe the idea.
"I just… wanted to see how you were doing. I was a little worried about you."
"R-really?" My eyes lit up at his response as I could feel the rhythm of my heartbeat gradually quickening little by little. "Thank you…Okazaki-san. I think I'll be all right. It's just a slight fever, that's all. I should be back at school in a day or two. But, thank you… for worrying about me."
"It's no problem." A strange awkward silence soon engulfed the both of us. As my right hand slowly reached up to my chest, I put the tips of my middle and index fingers to my heart. I felt its heartbeat hadn't slowed down one bit. Tomoya's voice broke me out of my thoughts. "Out of curiosity, what were you doing before I got here? Sleeping?"
"Yeah, pretty much. But, I did wake up about twenty minutes before you arrived here."
"Do anything special?"
"Well, I… just sat here... and thought about things."
"What kind of things?"
"…everything. I wonder if we'll be able to revive the Drama Club."
"I know we will. Please, don't give up, Nagisa."
"I have no intentions of giving up, Okazaki-san. Not after coming this far. It's just… I can't help but have some doubts about all of this. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. There's nothing for you to be sorry about. It's okay… to feel a little worried. It's natural."
"Really?" Tomoya simply nodded his head at my question. "You know, I don't think I would've been able to get this far… if it weren't for you… and everyone else."
"Don't forget about yourself as well. All of us are helping you out. It's your dream to get this club back on its feet once more. That's what friends are for, right?"
"Mhmm." Friends... "Okazaki-san?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm really glad that I met you. If I hadn't, then I wouldn't have met everyone else. Senior year would've been the same as last year's."
"Last year? Now that you mentioned it, you never really told me what your third year was like the first time around."
I couldn't help but think back to how my third year was like the first time around. A small frown was slowly creeping up onto my face. Tomoya must have noticed it.
"I... had a hard time... making new friends, at first. I was so shy. I couldn't muster up the will to talk. I...eventually did, though. I even made a few new friends, too. But...I don't think I could've done it..." My frown was slowly becoming a smile, as I began to think back on the one thing that inspired me. "...if it weren't for the fact that I had some help."
"Help? From who?" Tomoya is probably curious that I was now smiling all of a sudden. I wonder how he would react if I were to tell him...
"Well...promise me that you won't think it's weird, okay?" Tomoya just silently nodded his head at my question.
"Well, last year, while I was about to leave the school grounds, there was this big ball out at the front, with a string attached to it. There was a note attached to it saying to pull it. Thinking back on that day, I think most people knew that it was a prank that some of the upperclassmen were playing. But, I got curious... and decided to pull it." My face was flushed with embarrassment, worrying how Tomoya will react to this story. My eyes turned towards Tomoya's face. Much to my surprise, there was a small but noticeable blush on his face as well. Was Tomoya trying not to laugh at this...or was it something else?
"Okazaki-san?" I couldn't help but ask him, curiosity getting the better of me.
"Oh, yeah, Nagisa?"
"You're blushing." A tiny smile crept onto my face as I tried to reassure him that I was only merely pointing out something I saw. Tomoya was now breaking eye contact from me as he looked off to the side, his blushing gradually growing. The silence was beginning to grow between us. Does Tomoya...know something that I don't?
"I...uh..." He was definitely nervous about something. Was it related to the story I just mentioned? "Do you mind...if I asked you something?"
"Um... sure." I slowly nodded my head. The way that Tomoya phrased his question...it sounded like...no, wait, he couldn't be...confessing to me, could he? The moment that thought entered my mind, my blush exploded. I felt so lightheaded and dizzy. I almost lost my composure as my body was about to slowly fall back onto my futon once more, but Tomoya lunged out and grabbed my right hand with his. It was all so sudden, I didn't have time to react at all. The two of us were just staring at each other, our eyes simply staring into one another. Mine into his indigo, and his into my auburn. I didn't know how long we were in that position, but it still felt far too short. It was a fleeting moment that I wanted to last a little longer. Tomoya broke us out of this enchantment.
"Are you okay, Nagisa? You want me to get your mom and dad?"
"I-I'm okay. I just felt a little dizzy, that's all." I didn't want to worry Tomoya or my parents. Regardless, Tomoya didn't seem convinced.
"I'll go talk with your parents for a bit. Maybe I can get you something to eat while I'm up, too. Want anything?"
"I think some miso soup would be fine by me. Tell me when it's ready, okay, Okazaki-san?"
"Yeah, will do."
"Tomoya?-..." Without realizing it, I called out his name...his first name. Both of my hands immediately went to cover my mouth, my face entirely flushed from my mistake. He turned his attention towards me once more, silently staring at me. I slowly dropped my hands back into my lap, unable to look at Tomoya any further. Did he noticed the error that I had made? I spent a few moments in silence, wondering what was going through his mind right now. I knew that it was kinda pointless to ponder about something that I wouldn't know for certain, so I took a slow and deep breathe before working up the nerve to stare at him straight in the eye with an embarrassed but warm smile. "...Thank you."
I was greeted with a small and gentle smile from Tomoya. "Anything for a friend."
I softly closed the door behind me as I slowly made my way down the stairs. Upon hitting the last step, I stopped for a moment to think. Nagisa...she called me by my first name. She's never done that before. She's always called me by "Okazaki-san" since the moment we first introduced each other. I knew something was up the moment I turned around and saw her blushing like that, her eyes remaining fixed towards her lap. I couldn't resist the urge to grin at the fact that she made such a carelessly cute mistake like that. I managed to hold it in for the past several moments for Nagisa's sake, but since I'm not within her presence anymore, my lips couldn't help but turn upward in amusement. I guess I was able to find a moment of weakness within her if she managed to let that one slip up.
Realizing that I was staring off into space like usual, my mind focused on the current task at hand. Where exactly were Sanae and Akio right now anyway? I stared ahead to the sight in front of me, the store front of the bakery. I didn't hear any talking out at the front, so they probably weren't there. I decided to head down the hallway past the stairs. I found myself in the kitchen, where Sanae was clearly trying to bake some bread and Akio cleaning up some mess nearby.
"Hey kid, something you needed?"
"Yeah, Nagisa said that she wanted some miso soup. She was...feeling a little dizzy earlier. She almost fainted on me, too."
"Oh, dear..."
"She said she's fine now, but I'm a little worried."
"We'll get started on it. You go wait in her room, okay?" I complied with Sanae's request, silently nodding my head, as I made my way back into Nagisa's room.
"Hey, I'm back." When I slid open the door, I noticed that Nagisa had fallen asleep. I slowly walked over next to her futon and gently nudged her awake. She immediately sprang up, startled and blushing.
"I-I wasn't sleeping...I was just...resting my eyes, that's all."
"Uh...huh. You panic too easily, you know?" I placed the palm of my right hand on top of her head, my fingers running through her soft auburn hair.
"Okazaki-san?" She was clearly blushing at my abrupt action, but I didn't care if she wanted me to stop. There was something...relaxing about this. Her eyes looked up at me, pleading for an answer. I was starting to feel a little guilty, so my hand left the top of her head.
"Sorry about that. I was having too much fun there." There was a teasingly playfulness in my voice that I just couldn't contain, and I'm pretty sure Nagisa noticed it as well, as she returned a radiant smile full of embarrassed glee.
"I'm not your pet, Okazaki-san!" She was clearly enjoying this, too. A quiet, subdued giggle from her mouth told me so.
"But if you were?"
"W-w-well, you would have to...take care of me, wouldn't you?"
"Yeah...I...would..."
"You would...have to feed me, too, you know?" Upon hearing that, my face lit up, a burning sensation that I could feel across my entire face. Did Nagisa...really want me to feed her the miso soup that her parents were preparing right now? Was that what she hinting at with the pet metaphor? If she did, she wasn't exactly being subtle about it. This conversation took a nosedive into awkwardness so fast. Luckily, Sanae and Akio walked in with her dinner. I thought their timing was convenient, perhaps a little too convenient. Were they eavesdropping on our conversation?
"Well, here's your soup, Nagisa. Eat up." Sanae was holding the steaming bowl of miso while Akio was standing next to her.
"Wait, I'm not going to eat in the living room?"
"Well, Tomoya-san mentioned that you almost fainted earlier. I think we'll make an exception this one time and let you eat in your room. Akio-san, could you get the chabudai [4] out for Nagisa?" The old man silently left for a moment and returned carrying the table in his arms. He had to tilt it to the side to get the table through the door first. He quietly placed it next to Nagisa's futon so that she wouldn't have to move around so much. Sanae placed the bowl of miso soup onto the chabudai before heading out towards the door once more. I don't know if I was imaging things or not, but I thought I saw Sanae give me a quick wink in my direction.
"Take your time, okay, Nagisa? There's no need to rush your dinner."
"Okay, I got it, mom." And with that, the two parents had gone back downstairs.
"Hey, Nagisa?"
"Yes, Okazaki-san?"
"You really want me to feed you?" A mischievous grin was plastered on my face.
"I-I was just kidding. You usually tease me, so I thought... I could try teasing you back."
"You know..." I felt embarrassed as I was admitting this, but a part of me really wanted to give this a shot, out of...natural curiosity. "...I don't mind at all. I've got nothing else to do besides talk with you. I might as well make myself useful somehow."
Nagisa was blushing at my suggestion. "I-I can't ask that from you! It would be...too embarrassing. What if mom and dad walk in on us?"
"I'll just continue feeding you. It's not like I'm doing anything criminal, right?" I merely shrugged my shoulders in indifference.
"I...guess so, but still..."
"Well, if you don't want me to, then I won't force you."
"...okay." It was a quiet response, born out of resignation. Her response came after several moments of silence between the two of us. She was most likely debating in her head whether or not she wanted to go through with this. I guess I was able to convince Nagisa to try this, even if it might embarrass us both. "Thank you, Okazaki-san."
The two of us ate in silence as I slowly held up a spoonful of the miso up to Nagisa's mouth. I had to work at a slow pace so that I wouldn't accidentally spill any of the soup. She leaned forward a bit, taking the side of the spoon to her lips, quietly sipping away the miso soup into her mouth. The process repeated itself for about half an hour. During that time, the two of us couldn't help but feel slightly awkward around each other. Both of our faces were blushing. We broke eye contact with each other the moment one of us looked into the other person's eyes. And yet, at the same time, neither of us cared. Even though there wasn't a spoken word between the two of us, I believe Nagisa and I both found comfort within this surreal silence. There was something...oddly nostalgic about this. The ticking clock on the wall marked each second that passing by between Nagisa and me. It was a constant reminder that time was still moving, unrelenting, merciless, regardless as to how my mind might perceive the world around me. I knew this moment wouldn't last forever. Happy moments like these...never do.
Eventually, I noticed that the bowl was more or less empty. "Well, I guess that's dinner."
"Thank you, Okazaki-san. I don't...know how to thank you."
"Hey, don't worry about it. I just wanted to help. You should probably go to sleep early tonight. You need to get better soon. Everyone's missed having you at school."
"Even you?" Her question brought a tiny blush onto my face. I broke eye contact for a few short seconds before meeting her gaze once more, smiling all the while.
"Yeah, even me."
"Okay, I'll try to get better quick." There was a bright smile on her face.
"I should get going, then. I don't want to keep you up for too long. Good night, Nagisa."
"Good night to you too, Okazaki-san. I'll be...thinking about you...before I go to sleep tonight."
"I'll...uh...I'll be thinking of you, too, Nagisa." As I grabbed the door to leave, I hesitated for a bit. I thought back to earlier, when Nagisa was recounting that one embarrassing moment from last year. It...was a prank that Sunohara and I had set for the underclassmen. Hearing Nagisa talk about the incident, that she was the one who fell victim to our stupid joke, it made me feel a little guilty. And yet, I couldn't help but smile at that fond memory. Maybe the two of us...were destined to meet.
"Okazaki-san, what's wrong?" Nagisa's voice broke me out of my reverie. I guess I was just standing there, staring off into space for a little too long. I turned my head over my right shoulder to face her.
"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something."
"About what?" I wonder if Nagisa will figure out what I'm about to admit here. I took in a deep breath, inhaling as much air as I could as I closed my eyes. Slowly exhaling, I slowly opened my eyes, my entire body now facing Nagisa again, my eyes peering right at her. Here goes nothing...
"Don't... don't give in to the hardships ahead of you." [5] My smile was sincere, plain and simple. I heard a tiny gasp escape from Nagisa's mouth as both of her hands slowly went to cover her lips, a huge blush forming across her face. That...was definitely the reaction I was hoping for. I guess that means...she really does remember...the message I gave her last year. I couldn't help but grin at the amusing sight before me. I slowly waved goodbye before I gently slid the door behind me and headed down the stairs. I went into the kitchen and told Sanae and Akio I was going home for the night.
"All right, kid. Good night to you, too. And thanks for stopping by for Nagisa's sake."
"Yes, Tomoya-san. Akio-san and I really appreciated you checking up on Nagisa. It's great to know that you care about her so much."
"It's nothing, really. I'm just trying to be a good friend, that's all."
"Well, no matter how you phrase it, Sanae and I are still grateful, nonetheless. Come back soon, okay?"
"Yeah, will do."
"Here, take this." Akio produced a bag of bread in front of him. I gave him an incredulously terrified look, wondering whose baked the bread. Understanding what my facial expression meant, he reassured me that it was his bread.
"Don't worry. It doesn't have any of Sanae's crap-" Realizing the terrible error that he just made, Akio's face now mirrored my own. I peered over to see Sanae's face. Unsurprisingly, she was beginning to tear up, which eventually built up into a quiet sobbing. The sight of Nagisa's mom crying always makes me feel a little guilty.
"Y-you think..." This wasn't going to end well. Akio was now facing her with a terrified expression on his face. He...brought it upon himself, like always. "...my bread..."
"...is crap?!" Sanae was already sprinting out of the bakery by the time she finished yelling her question out loud, sobbing loudly with her hands cradling her face. I'm surprised she can sprint that much without so much as bumping or crashing into anything. As usual, Akio was about to give chase to her.
"Dammit, is she seriously sprinting off into the night?" He grabbed some of Sanae's bread from the store counter and stuffed a handful of them into his mouth. "I love you, Sanae!" At least, I think that's what he said. I can't say for certain, considering how his voice was slightly muffled by the food in his mouth. Where those two have ran off to, I really don't know, especially at this time of the night. This definitely wasn't the first time that I had seen this similar sight before. Sanae's bread wasn't exactly what you would call edible, so her bread is usually the one that remains unsold. It's an unspoken rule around the neighborhood here that no one is allowed to say anything bad about whatever Sanae makes, or else... well, you already know. Akio usually slips up and breaks this rule every once in a while, though. A part of me wondered whether or not I was suppose to take any of that seriously, though. The more and more I saw those two overreact like that, the more and more I thought it was some strange comedy routine. I usually stay silent to avoid adding fuel to the fire, staring on in quiet disbelief. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to it, though. Still, at least all of that means... they really care for each other.
Realizing that I was staring off into space again, I made my way down the hallway before reaching the side door of the bakery. I hope Sanae and Akio weren't gone for too long, considering that Nagisa was now all by herself at the moment. I seriously didn't want to leave her alone right now, but I had to get home. I slipped my shoes on before opening the door to leave. I felt the cool spring wind brush against my face as I walked into the night once again. Realizing that I haven't exactly eaten dinner yet, I grab a piece of bread from the bag I was holding in my left hand. I took a big bite out of it, savoring the flavor and taste. I munched down the rest of the bread in seconds, not realizing just how hungry I had become.
"It'd be nice if Sanae's bread could taste this good." I quietly lamented under my breath, a bemused smile appearing on my face.
I grabbed a croissant and began chewing on it, wondering if I could finish this entire bag of bread before I made it back to my home... back to my father.
...It was worth a shot, I suppose. I might have to walk a little slower, though...
I sat there on my futon, staring up into the ceiling. I waited about five minutes, to make sure that Tomoya was definitely gone. As soon as I felt confident that he was surely gone, I made my way out of my futon again and towards the closet. I had to rummage through a lot of old things that have been crammed in here over the years, but eventually, I found what I was searching for: a small rectangular wooden box.
"There it is." I sighed in relief, fearing the worst that I had lost this forever. I gently picked up the box and carried it out of the closet. I retreated back to my futon, carrying the box in hand. Sitting back down, I opened the latch and lifted the lid, revealing the paper banner from the year before. I unfolded the banner in order to read the entire message again.
"Tomoya..." I sat there, as something welled up inside me. I was on the verge of crying right then and there. But it wasn't tears of sadness that I was about to shed, but of joy. A small smile formed on my lips. "He's...been there...he always has...since the very beginning...long before we even met." My voice came out as a soft whisper as I struggled to form words between my tears. My life was forever changed when Tomoya first spoke to me on the bottom of the hill leading up to the school. But it wasn't until Tomoya spoke those words to me earlier, about how I shouldn't give in to the hardships ahead, I knew...right then and there, he was the one who wrote the message. I was in total shock when I heard him confess that to me. I wanted to say something, anything back to him, to let him know how grateful I am for his words, but the revelation paralyzed me before I was given the chance to speak up. Tomoya had already left, but I could've stopped him, if only I had said something to make him stay, even if it was only for a minute or a second or a moment. A part just wanted to hug him tight and close, never wanting to let go, never wanting to be separated from him ever again.
Tears were now beginning to stream down my cheeks. The brief smile I had earlier was now beginning to fade into a frown. Could Tomoya... ever love... a person like me?
"I don't know... how I really feel about you. I'm scared...so very scared...of these feelings that I have for you..." With each spoken word aloud, it gradually became harder...and more painful for me to speak. "Every time you're nice to me...a part of me...is thankful...and another part...is afraid...always afraid of your kindness. I...I might get...the wrong idea...about how you feel about me... every time you show me generosity. Regardless, either as a friend...or a lover... I... I love you... Tomoya. Even if...you go on to love... someone else, someone...more worthy of your love... I'll... never... forget you."
My silent crying suddenly erupted into a sobbing roar, tears pouring out from me, burning my eyes, burning my cheeks, but I didn't care. It would be far more torturous to keep those words bottled up inside of me. I wanted to let all my emotions out right now, when no one was around to see me in such a pitiful state. The last thing that I would ever want was to worry my family and friends over something like this. Quickly realizing that my sudden outburst might alarm mom and dad, I brought the sheets of my futon to my face, to muffle the sound of my mouth and to wipe away my tears. I stayed like that for a few short moments, until I had calmed down a little. I slowly brought the sheets back down into my lap.
"I... I have to be strong... for everyone."
I stood up and reached for the lamp hanging on the ceiling in the middle of the room. I pulled the string as the lights disappeared, the outside moon the only thing that vaguely kept my room alit. I laid back down on my futon, staring at the ceiling.
"I wonder...what kind of girl... Tomoya likes." I thought about what I had just said aloud. I don't think I personally suit Tomoya... as a lover at all. I'm the one who depends on him so much. Could Tomoya... ever say the same...about me? Could he...ever come to rely on me...the way I have come to rely on him?
I thought about all of my other friends...who most likely had feelings for Tomoya as well. Kotomi-chan...Ryou-chan...Kyou-chan...There was also Sakagami-san to consider as well. I might not know her as well as Tomoya and Sunohara-san does, but I'm sure...she has feelings for Tomoya as well. Kotomi-chan has known Tomoya the longest. Ryou-chan and Kyou-chan have known him for at least a year now. The only one who doesn't know Tomoya for as long as I have as Sakagami-san herself. All of them have qualities that I don't possess. Kotomi-chan is the smartest girl in the entire school, with Sakagami-san not too far behind. Kyou-chan gets along with Tomoya very well. Ryou-chan is a very kind and nurturing person. Both Kyou-chan and Sakagami-san were very physically strong, too. Me...how am I supposed to measure up to all of them? I'm not the strongest...or the smartest...They're all suited to Tomoya far better than I could ever hope to achieve...But even so, is it...wrong to be selfish? I...I don't want to lose Tomoya at all. I don't want to be separated from him.
I was beginning to feel a little drowsy, either from my lingering fever or from my earlier crying. Perhaps, it was a little of both. Either way, the ceiling was starting to becoming blurry, as my mind was drifting into slumber, my eyelids slowly closing. With the last ounce of strength that my mind could muster, I whispered out loud...
"...Good night...Tomoya...kun...please...stay...with me...always."
Well, that's the end of chapter 4. If you actually made it to the end of this chapter, then I salute you for being able to put up with my story for this long. If it's not asking too much, any kind of feedback, be it pointing out spelling/grammar mistakes, suggestions, or just your thoughts and feelings on this chapter, anything would be great. All I ask is that you remain civil and keep things constructive. That's all. ^_^'
Remember to check my profile page every day to see how much progress I have made on the next chapter. It will go up the moment that number hits 100%.
And don't worry, I'm never going to drop this story, so long as there is continued interest from readers for my fanfic. For personal reasons, I want to see this story through to the very end, even if it takes a long time to get there...
Footnotes:
[1] - A reference to the 1977 George Lucas-directed film Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope. It's from a famous scene where Vader is force-choking Admiral Motti.
[2] - A reference to the 1987 Rob Reiner-directed film The Princess Bride. It's from a famous scene where Inigo Montoya questions Vizzini's use of the word "inconceivable" after hearing it one too many times in without it meaning what it's suppose to mean.
[3] - A reference to a certain little creature from a certain 2011 Studio Shaft / Akiyuki Shinbo-directed anime series...What exactly does his presence mean in my story? Guess you'll just have to wait and see...
[4] - From Wikipedia: A chabudai (卓袱台?) is a short-legged table used in traditional Japanese homes. People seated at a chabudai may sit on zabuton or tatami rather than on chairs. The four legs of a chabudai are generally collapsible so that the table may be moved and stored easily. Chabudai are used for various purposes, such as a study table for children, a work bench for needlework, and most importantly, a dinner table for the entire family (shokutaku (食卓、しょくたく?)). In the winter, the chabudai is often replaced by a kotatsu, another type of short-legged table equipped with a removable top and a heater underneath.
[5] - A reference to episode 23 of Clannad ~After Story~. It was the message that Tomoya wrote on that banner that fell out of that paper-mache ball that Tomoya and Sunohara built.